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I am in Discology with Makayla and Zack Dussaq from Rocksport. Makayla seems like a younger version of herself. Discology looks different - more of a square room with boxes of records along the walls and on tables. The place just seems antiquated, even for a record shop. I am looking through a box in a corner (the spot, in the dream, where I always look?). I see 10,000 Days, which is in a box. The box is a dusty brown color that looks faded, by design I’m pretty sure. It may be slightly textured with pebbling, and it i very plain in a way that almost suggests a lot about what is within. I gently lift the top off and start inspecting the records - there is a small stack inside. They look brand new, marred by only a thin layer of dust. There seems to be only a track or two per side, the actual groove area taking up maybe a ¼ of the side. I notice some pretty distinct run out etchings, causing me to wonder if this is a bootleg or official release, etc. I have another new looking record, which I decide to get. Zack has gone upstairs to ‘pee’, but he’s been a very long time, which Makayla and I are laughing about. I now hear him getting ready to come back down and can just imagine his self consciousness. We make our way over to David to pay, and I find on a table a little stone turtle with a shark tooth inlaid in its belly. I think it’d be perfect for Mom, so I take it too, observing each side a few times. The tooth takes up the whole belly, is flat, and may actually be stone also. I think the record is $15, which seems high or higher than I’m used to. I think about how I always end up finding something in that spot. This causes me to realize I didn’t look anywhere else, but I’m okay with that

I am in some house’s fairly small kitchen. There are a few others here. There is a tablet on the white tile counter; it’s playing the same show that’s on the TV (not coincidentally, but rather as if the tablet is streaming to the TV). A middle aged man wants to change what’s on the TV. The show will still play on the tablet though, so that’s fine with me. Sara is now offering me red wine. I think her and another girl already have a glass. I think Sara finishes a glass and pours more, not remembering she already had one or something like that. I think I finish a glass as well. She gives me more wine now, but this ‘wine’ is in a frozen yogurt bowl and has the consistency of gelato. I eat it with a spoon, and it’s quite good. It’s huckleberry pink in color. I see the container it comes in - one of those four packs of mini wine bottles. I imagine Sara at a store buying them. I am now in the backyard of this house. Dad and Makayla are out here (it looks a lot like our old house’s backyard). We’re setting up short A-frame nets with openings in the top that one tries to throw a disc through. We set them not too far apart. I toss the disc a few times. Makayla is standing pretty much right in front of the net, which stresses me out a little.



I am at a library? picking up some records. They look used but still nice. A Dio record is on top, and the rest are metal as well. I’m pretty excited about them. Ian is here; we talk. It’s nice enough, but he’s still too opinionated for me.

I have gone into a building for some sort of surprise party for me. It seems like a restaurant that has been reserved, just one big room. There is a man guiding proceedings as people show up. Melissa and Makayla are here, seated at the long, wood tables, their coats draped over the back of their chairs. Now, about ten people are here, and everything has been moved back against the walls. At the front of the room is a smaller wooden stage. It is very plain. Everyone stands in a circle in the floor space in front of it. I get the impression that we’re going to be running in a circle and jumping/doing tricks off the stage, but we don’t. I think we’ve been waiting for food too, but it never came. The group now moves down a hallway, and the place looks like an elementary school. I pass inlets in the wall that have some windows and rows of desks. There are pictures and things on the hallway walls that are all Hawaiian themed, i.e. Hawaiian history, that makes me think this may be in Hawaii. We end up in a computer lab and seated again. I think we’re waiting for food, and again it never comes. A guy with light brown skin comments that this event is only a few hours and ending soon, not giving us time for everything. In my head I envision a three hour block? starting at 7pm and us being a majority of the way through it. I now go over to a sink in a counter against the wall (like high school science classrooms). There is a chunk of ice protruding from it. The ice doesn’t seem solid, but more so shaved but still compacted together. I run some water over the section under the faucet, inciting it to start to melt. I think Bird Song is playing from my phone during this. It then occurs to me that I’m pretty sure that this is our food thawing out. This room has now transitioned into an unfamiliar kitchen in a house. It looks pretty nice and clean, marbled earth tone counters, stainless steel, and darker wood cabinets, I think. (As I write this, it reminds me of Scott and Kelly’s old kitchen). Renee and Kelly are here, one seated and one milling around, and they tell me happy birthday. Renee says she can now get me a glass of wine (as if it’s my 21st). I nicely say “Oh… you don’t have to”, but I’m willing to let her just to be polite. I start looking for white wine (as if it’s my place) and look all over but do not find any. I’m thinking that they might also want to have some. I end up in a different room of the same house, by Linda, who’s seated at a dark wood table. She starts asking about my favorite red wine, isn’t it a blend? I recall what she’s talking about, another get together/celebration where I had/brought different wines. I offer a non committal reply of either ‘I don’t know’ or ‘I don’t remember’. I think that if my favorite was a blend that it isn’t now. I see she has a personal bottle - the dark label says it’s a Lodi Zinfandel. She’s now asking didn’t I throw up at that event, but phrasing it more gently. Dad is here and inquiring the same thing. I again offer a dismissive reply, though I do remember throwing up then (*This event/scenario did not happen in real life). I pass some people what don’t have drinks and think that I should go to the store really quick for some wine. In another room now, there is a record playing on a smaller turntable on the brown-carpeted ground in the corner. The song sounds familiar. It then ends, and I go over to put it away, even though I think that was just side one. I think it’s the Cranberries or Zombies? (*Though I wake up with Heartbreaker by Pat Benatar stuck in my head). The cover is a dark green with the band name in large letters taking up a good amount of space. It’s at an angle. I think there’s a band photo on the back. I take the record off the platter; it’s a marbled dark green and very flimsy. I slip it into its anti-static sleeve. I now leave, driving to wherever I’m going. I end up at an elementary school that I think is right by another elementary school. I park and walk in the fairly large entry way. The foyer is filled with the black retractable crowd controllers that lead up to metal detectors. There’s a darker skinned younger lady at a counter beside the detectors. Two guys about my age are turning around willingly. I see they both are casually carrying handguns. One has slightly long and stringy dirty blond hair with a messy middle part and thin-rimmed glasses. I think his shirt is tucked, revealing a black holster on his belt. He is not attractive but not completely unattractive. He somehow seems genuine, yet aloof. He honestly looks the type to get unfairly made fun of. Seeing this causes me to pat my pockets. I feel some hard objects in the jean pockets, but nothing I’d get in trouble for. I continue on, past the metal detectors. The enormity of this place is revealed as I walk through this hallway. There is no way it can be a school it’s so big. I can’t see an end to the hallway. Besides the size, the appearance is not of a school either. Everything is ornate and looks more like an upscale shopping mall. The walls appear to be white marble or something similar, with subtle niches and rococo. There are vendor carts set up in the middle of the walkway as well. Even they seem classy and opulent. I think the places set into the walls are shops and restaurants. There are quite a few others walking through here. The place has now transitioned into outdoors. I am following a slight grassy ravine with surrounding grassy hills. There are smaller, wispy trees and grasses, all very green. There’s possibly a trickle of water running through here. Dad calls me now and asks where I went, his tone suggesting it rude that I just left. I tell him I’m picking something up from the store and will be right back. His tone then changes as he tells me that there’s some light or other activity going on in the night sky. I look up and can see it. I’m not sure if it’s exactly what he’s referencing, but I see brighter circles of light that are close together and moving. There’s also a splotch of a green hue higher up in the sky. I also notice the Milky Way, probably the densest I have ever seen it appear, and it is absolutely awe inspiring. I have to spend a few moments just staring. It’s so bright that it seems to illuminate the night sky. It’s also currently parallel with this ravine. Off to the right, there’s a group or two of people sitting on a taller hill, also looking to the sky. I start walking back now, and it’s daylight again. Dad is with me. I think a dog is with us as well, because I throw a toy. The toy hits and knocks over a small statue of a boy on a slightly overgrown pedestal. The 1-2 foot tall statue was in a row of other statue children, all in antiquated clothing.

I have gone into Discology. It is a completely different building; the walls seem dark in color and there are a few rows of low, black shelves. David starts talking to me about how he rearranged things? He also has a proposition for me or something like that. I start looking in a shelf and see four Doors records. They have the look of an older pressing that’s been around a while but taken care of. All are familiar expect one; this one is a copy of Strange Days with a completely different cover. I don’t think it says Strange Days anywhere, but somehow I know. It kind of has a lot of things going on, part of it being a car or two and a side profile of Ray. I think about getting it just to have this different edition. I also see some classical. There are a few with thick covers of a solid color [that are actually in the store, as of last time I was in]. I think he’s moved them to this more accessible spot, probably so they can be seen more. I find a multiple LP set of classical performed by a woman composer. It looks near mint, the cover and discs, and is labeled as $1-$2, so I keep it. I’m guessing the price is based on how many of the discs you take? I go to pay for it, but David looks like he’s getting ready to leave, so I’m just going to leave two dollar bills on the counter by his computer.



I am somewhere inside where there are a lot of people milling around. The vibe seems pretty happy. I see some members of the Grateful Dead among the crowd. One is Jerry (his appearance is like that from the late 70s), what I go up to and say ‘how about a Dark Star to open the second set?’ He seems to think it’s a good idea. I then let Bobby? know. I think Donna is here as well. It doesn’t really seem like I’m in the band, but it does seem like I have some influence. Later, the band comes on and Jerry starts a Dark Star but it is soon overridden by one or more others in the band. I’m a little disappointed.

My recall has been getting better lately, but we are still far away from the best I've been and still the dry spell for lucids continues. Let's go back to the past again.

Accidental Lucid
Date: October 5th, 2009
Lucid: Yes
Method: DILD

I was having a conversation with my brother in the living room. I was lying down on the sofa and he was using my computer, but with his head turned towards me. We were coincidentally talking about reality checks. My brother doesn't know much about LDing and in fact, he to this day thinks it's some kind of satan's worshipping. Anyway, I started demonstrating to him the different methods that you can use to RC. I didn't have any clue about being in a dream at that point.

First off I did the plugging the nose -test. I managed to push some air out of my nose, but there was some friction, which made me think that I just didn't plug my nose properly. Still, the seed of suspicion was laid. Next I tried to push my fingers through my hand. My dreams are too realistic, I guess, for that to work. Nonetheless lastly I demonstrated the clock-test.

The time on the clock only shifted around a bit, so I did the test multiple times, until on the sixth time the clock turned from 12 am. to 7 pm. That was big enough change for me to believe that I was dreaming. I didn't remember what was the monthly challenge. I even asked my brother, but he didn't have any clue. He was surprised too for this being a dream and started writing on my hand with a pen.

Next I shouted "Clarity now!" to increase the clarity of the dream, despite it being okay to begin with. Shouting that didn't work for me though. Next I asked my brother to make the dream clearer. "Alright", he answered and started writing again on my hand. I guess the stimulation that the point of the pen caused on my skin was enough to indeed make the dream more clearer.

I headed towards my brother's room, but he was still pestering me with that pen. I told him to do 100 push-ups just to make him leave me alone. Instead he just piled some junk on his hands and started doing bench press with them.

I proceeded through a corridor towards his room. There was a lot of his stuff on the corridor just piled up, like he was moving or something. I accidentally caused one pile of cd records to fall. I froze and was afraid, that he would attack me angrily now. Instead he started crying over some record. I just told him that it didn't necessarily break.

Then I just woke up, before I really managed to do anything special. That was my 19th lucid since I started closely keeping a record at the start of 2009.

Pug Genocide and the Obstacle Course

I’m on my street walking two dogs, a Pomeranian and a pug. I make sure to keep them walking on the right side of the road, and my dream-mind thinks of how much I like the direction of East. I have trouble keeping them out of the roads but I manage to take them to my destination: a big building with all the kids from school waiting in line outside. There’s something going on, but I don’t really know what. I notice that if I get in line, I’ll be waiting for hours. It’s extremely hot out, the peak of summer.

I see my Uncle Pat come at me from a distance. He has a shot gun. Suddenly I am being pulled to the ground. I can’t see anything and my dogs are taken. Hands are over me. I am put in a car. I open my eyes. I’m in the backseat. My mom’s in front with my Nana and the dogs are here in the back. The windows are rolled up and we’re all sweating really hard because of the heat.

“You can’t take Pugs out in the open,” my Nana says. She explains that they are being killed off, and my Uncle is one of the men who shoots them. I don’t know why it’s happening. I roll a window down and shove my face out. It’s a little refreshing. I draw things in the thick condensation that’s formed on the windows.

They drop me off at my dream-house, where I’m staying. It’s night time. I take the dogs into a shed and ruffle through a few boxes. I find a purple wig and put it on. In the mirror, I look the same, and my wig looks really funny. I can’t fit all my hair under it.

I go into the house. I’m staying with an autistic boy and his autistic friend. They annoy me, not because they’re autistic, but they won’t leave me alone for a moment. I try to run into my room and quickly close the door, but they get in. I do it again, forcefully and lock the door. The dogs play around in my room.

The scene jumps to me going back to the building with the school kids. It’s daytime again, but the same day, just a few hours later. No one is outside and I see the tail end of the line going in. Shit. To go in, you walk up some stairs on the side of the building, so I do that. The next part is the beginning of a big obstacle course. I didn’t know that was what this was.

Derek, my friend, is in front of me. After the stairs, you climb through a window-esque opening. I do so, but after casually going through, I am almost falling off a circular ledge that leads from the outside to the inside. Below me, all the kids are doing their obstacles or just watching me fall. This is the first part, and I’m already failing. Well I didn’t know about it, so I don’t feel that bad, I don’t really care about this. The ledge is absolutely terrifying, however.

I fall more, and I’m dangling half inside half outside the building, my hands on the ledge.

“Fuck all you hoes,” I say (lols) and manage to lift myself up. I slink around the ledge and come to a bigger part of it. Kayla, a schoolmate, is in back of me. There are two doorways. They are both extremely small. I enter one, and it gets blistering hot as I walk through. I take off my hoodie, and my mind says this is why my dream has been so hot. It’s still hot in the hallway. It zigzags vertically and becomes too small to fit through. I look back and see Kayla has taken the other hallway, the correct choice. Shit, failed again.

Scene change to the end of the course. I’ve probably come in last, but I’m hanging out with the first place and second place kids until they make a final announcement. It’s kind of like a break time. First place is “Heather”, although it doesn’t look like her and she keeps taking her glasses off (which she doesn’t have in waking life) and saying how she can’t see.


Circle Class

I am in a big fancy house and I am going to interview someone. They bring me to the “tea room”, which is a huge circular white room. I sit down.

Scene change to me sitting in the room, but in a desk. There are about thirty desks all arranged in a circular way. I see Jack sitting on the other side of the circle. I’m talking to Megan, a childhood friend, and Derek, a friend from school. We talk for a long time, most of the dream, but I don’t remember dialogue much. My mouth is really dry.

I look down the line and see Heather talking to a friend, Aimee. I get a jealousy pang but remember that I’m having a quite good time myself here talking with Megan. We are sitting in rolly chairs and I spin around the room, having some fun.

For some reason, a lot of people start to leave. I think they’ll come back so I wait. Eventually it’s just me and a few kids near Jack who are really dedicated students and wouldn’t leave a class. I know everyone is having a good time without me, and I get very upset. I see Derek left me a drawing. It’s really good, and on the back it has a black scratch area. It reveals rainbow colors if you scratch it away. I doodle on it and think about what Heather is doing without me. I do some funny things to entertain the students, who laugh, but I can’t close my mouth. It’s too dry!

I wake up, and have the worst dry mouth. I drink water and go back to bed.



Fragment

I am in Goodwill with my mom and someone else. This girl Emily who is really disgusting is here. She points to a sailing instrument, a tiny globe that has a handle under it that controls a grid laying over the earth. It tells you longitude and latitude numbers. I really want it, but it’s thirty dollars. I carry it around and slip it into my pocket.

I check out the records and they have video game soundtracks. I really want the Donkey Kong 64 Part 2 (doesn’t exist!) soundtrack, or the Banjoe Tooie. No money, oh well. I think about telling my friend Lotie about them, because she just got a record player.

I look at a television playing something on a shelf. A thought comes to mind that my mom had cancer in my dream or something. The dream details on this, but I don’t recall any of it.


Fragment

It’s a year later than now, and I “wake up” in a daze into the new present time, knowing nothing of the past year. I ask Heather all the things we did in the passing year, and have my mom tell me some things we did too. I go to a park with my mom and dad and my dad uncovers my old bike from under a hiding spot. He said I put it there last year.


Fragment
I'm in my first room ever. On the ground there are two vests, identical. Weird, I think. Why would that happen? I could be dreaming. I become lucid, look at the vests, and see they are remarkably different. I wake up.

dreamBirthday Party

I’m in the car with Pehry. He’s driving pretty recklessly with someone else in the front seat telling him to slow down. We take a sharp turn into my dad’s auto shop. The parking lot is full of tiny cars for children but exact versions of their bigger counterparts. I keep saying I want one, and then remember that I “have” one, a tiny tan minivan. It’s parked out back.

We get out and go into my dad’s shop. It’s a party inside; it’s my birthday! My family and friends are all inside. No one pays too much attention to me, but in my dream world this isn’t strange and I am content just walking around looking at the things in the shop.

I walk over to my Nana who is sitting around a turntable. There are old nursery rhyme records all stacked on it. I go through it and each one is colored and decorated with story elements: one is green with a frog, one is red with a pony, one is blue with a bear, etc.

My mom comes over to me and gives me a little ticket. It says “dunk house” and I interpret this as a ticket for me to go into one of those dunk booths at the fair. I quickly give it back to her, and she explains that my Nana is in the dunk house at the fair this year and with this ticket I can dunk her no matter if I hit the target or not.

Everyone keeps doing their thing at this mini-party and Autumn comes in from somewhere. She has her school bag, and I “know” that the door behind me connects to a few classrooms. Because she’s really big, everyone gets nervous and kind of moves towards the middle of the room to make room for her (she’s not THAT big).

She comes over to me and talks about missing a certain project that she’ll have to re-do.

“What? No, that project was that we had to listen to records in class. Why would you have to do that out of school? It’s so easy and dumb,” I say. She has her usual bad attitude and just shrugs her shoulders and says mean shit about everyone around us.
Someone outside is driving a specially-made car.

“Isn’t that the car Marty made that runs off blood instead of gasoline?” I say.

“Yeah I know about Marty,” Autumn retorts as if it’s “cool” to know Marty and she wanted to make sure I knew that she knew about him. We talk about how the problem with the car is that the blood soaks through the seats and stuff so your clothes get bloody and you can’t keep papers on the seats and stuff like that.

Fragment

I walk into a really small classroom. There’s a substitute teacher (who is an actual teacher at a school I went to) and a chocolate cake sitting on the only table in the room.

“Fuck yeah!” I say as I come in and sit down. The kids behind me are excited too: cake and a substitute. I have déjà vu (or perhaps I dreamed this before, or perhaps a dream memory) that I had been to this class and had cake before.

I get a little embarrassed because I don’t know how to sit without being too close to anyone. Kate (a…friend of mine) is here. We all take big slices of cake and talk about dumb things.

We have a project to do in class: listen to a few certain records. The teacher changes from the substitute to my old U.S. History teacher.

Fragment

Jack, Heather and I are looking through a big dumpster of metal scraps, looking for good pieces to put into a trash compactor. We are having a lot of fun doing this.

Fragments of Fragments

• A room made of zebra print. Not painted over or wallpapered, but the structure is the patterns of zebras.
• I check a letter written to Morpheus, looking for a response. I go through sheet after sheet, looking for markings.
• I go downstairs and make myself toast.