Morning of July 17, 2019. Wednesday. Dream #: 19,203-02. Reading time (optimized): 2 min. My dream begins with the usual water induction but which transitions into a non-lucid experience of my dream self being incorporeal and hovering above a big public pool that uses advanced technology to simulate ocean life, though only by causing splashes and movement of the water. There is no one around, even though the machinery is active. Eventually, I am corporeal and seated in a library while subliminally trying to increase my awareness by reading or attempting to read (a habit of instinctual dreaming since childhood). It is more like a classroom, as there are what seem to be school desks in the big room. Without getting up, I pick up a book on computer technology from an unknown male’s desk that faces mine, but upon riffling through the pages, I see that it is outdated by many years. I am unsure why he had it on his desk, but I put it back without saying anything. I turn around to see shelves on one wall to my right that feature many packages of unassembled cardboard spaceship pieces that are in transparent plastic wrapping, most related to the “Star Trek” franchise. This rendering stems from subliminal thoughts of vestibular system correlation, the most common dreaming process. As a result of the change in focus, I realize that I have been absent from my home for hours and should probably return. I walk, seemingly for a long time, though the setting and location are fictitious, yet my immediate new false memories dictate my imaginary journey. I walk through a long hall where there are no other people at first. (I more often fly around at this stage of a dream.) Eventually, I maintain a strange deliberate slow-motion jog that seems perfect and propels me higher from the floor than would be possible in reality. However, an unknown boy (preconscious simulacrum that is usually rendered to be the personified waking process) starts to make fun of my activity. I curse at him relentlessly, and he leaves through what appear to be the French doors of a business. I am in an unknown neighborhood with many dense bushes and low-hanging branches adjacent to the sidewalk. With instinctual dream control, I indulge in water reinduction (virtual melatonin mediation) to vivify and sustain my dream. I phase through any overgrown plants when needed as I effortlessly make my progress down the sidewalk. I enjoy the refreshing cooling raindrops on my skin as some of the water additionally streams from the branches above. I consider where my house is, but the area is fictitious. Despite this, a subliminal dream state awareness creates a false recall that my house is across the street from a store that sells mattresses and bedding. I see the word “sleep” on a big sign. I approach the corner apartment building where my family supposedly lives. Through the window, I see our youngest daughter get up from a chair and go to another part of the room. I am glad to be back home.
Updated 07-17-2019 at 08:54 AM by 1390
I’m on a trip with my parents and an unfamiliar young man. We were all supposed to go to a casino—and they did actually go. But I didn’t care much for that plan, and so I’ve been off doing something else and only arrived back at the hotel room in time for their last trip there, late on the final evening. I have the impression that this is a place they’re familiar with, but this will be my first time there. I’ve been told not to bring my purse with me for whatever reason, but I don’t like going around without writing materials on hand, and so I say that I’ll just take my wallet out before I go. But it seems my parents are so eager to get back that, rather than waiting the couple of minutes this will take, they go on without me, leaving the young man to drive us there. Outside, it’s raining hard, and has been for a while, judging by all the standing water in the streets. As we go on, it only gets deeper, until the car, which is a fairly low one, starts having trouble moving forward. Some light on the dashboard has come on. He curses at the car—and quite probably my parents, who would have had no trouble handling this in theirs. I suggest that we just pull off the road onto higher ground, as some other cars seem to be doing, and walk the rest of the way there. It isn’t very far. He agrees to it. The next part I remember clearly is being inside the casino, in a large room with a grand staircase, crowded with fancily dressed people. On the upper floor, near a restaurant area, I meet up with my parents again. It’s sort of like a buffet, with tables in a horseshoe shape, each one with an attendant behind them, offering samples of various kinds of foods to the guests. Mother is going to get a chocolate milkshake—apparently, a favorite of hers there—but my father isn’t interested. The idea doesn’t appeal much to me either, and anyways, this is all new to me: I want to try things out before I order anything. He heads off somewhere else. I get some kind of a soup, and then head over to where they’re serving white wine. I try the sample they have there, which is pretty good—but they have all kinds of interesting drinks here, and this would be a good chance to try things I wouldn’t necessarily want a full glass of. And my mother is trying to get my attention from across the room, so I leave the table without ordering anything and head over in her direction. Then, suddenly, I feel a spray of cold water—and the people around me do as well, judging by how they’re crying out. It seems someone is spraying people with a hose. I move out of the way, wondering what that was about. Maybe the casino staff themselves are responsible. The whole reason this place exists is to take money from people, after all—I think it’s best not to lose sight of that—and it wouldn’t surprise me at all for one to start charging people to keep things going nicely, once they’ve got them used to it. Once out of range, I pause and kneel down to make sure the cat is still with me. He is indeed still there and comes to get pet. He’s an orange cat, an adult, though on the small side, and has been here with me this whole time. So far, nobody has noticed him—or else they just don’t care. But it’s still a little dangerous for him to be here with me, and so I’ve been making sure he stays close, waiting until I feel him against the back of my ankles before moving on. 11.5.19
Morning of December 4, 2018. Tuesday. Dream #: 18,978-02. Reading time: 3 min 20 sec. Readability score: 62. At the beginning of my non-lucid dream, I am with an unfamiliar woman (of perhaps twenty) in a fictitious room of the Barolin Street house that is implied to be between the main bedroom and the lounge room. There is no furniture in the room. Despite my lack of viable dream state awareness, I am subliminally aware that I am dreaming. My dream self believes that we are awake but that I am ritually inducing the dream state. We are lying on the wooden floor. I am aware of Zsuzsanna being nearby, yet I also do not see the unfamiliar woman as an imposter or trespasser. (This is because she is supposed to be the usual Naiad and melatonin mediator, modeled after a young Zsuzsanna, but because I am not viably lucid, the situation is distorted and integrated with other dreaming processes.) I am teaching her how to enter the dream state by creating the illusion of water as autosymbolic of natural melatonin and as defining illusory physicality within sleep. I cause the floor to transform into shallow water (the typical beginning of dream state entry since early childhood), and we float around for a short time even though it only seems about four inches deep. There is an awareness that I am entering the dream state (even though I am already dreaming). I consider that if the water becomes very deep as we go farther into the dream state, sharks might eventually appear below us, but there is no continuity of perceived threat. From here, I enter a more vivid dream segment. There are no thoughts about the unfamiliar woman, who has vanished, or of the previous exercise. Zsuzsanna and our two youngest children are present. There is no longer any association with dream entry or being in the dream state. There is a storm approaching from the south. I look out from the lounge room and see odd clouds, one of them shaped like a top. Despite the several big fluffy clouds being white, they supposedly are storm clouds. I try to create a tornado from the one that looks like a top. Soon, there is a loud crash, and something, perhaps a large tree branch (though I do not see it) comes through the roof above the hallway, leaving an irregular hole. Rain comes in. Zsuzsanna and I look at the damage. I deliberately stand under the rain coming through the ceiling. I feel cool and refreshed, and my dream becomes much more vivid. (I have used water to vivify and sustain my dreams since early childhood.) In the next scene, I walk around observing water flowing down the walls from the edges of the ceiling. There is a plastic storage box on a high shelf that I feel concern about getting wet, as it may contain textbooks or my dream journals. However, it does not seem that the water is anywhere but on the walls. Through the windows, I look at the cluster of white clouds again and notice more that are shaped like tops, though I try to imagine more than there are. Zsuzsanna and our two youngest children look outside and up from (fictitious) lounge room windows at the south end of the room. It seems to be nighttime now. Near our house are two tall palm trees (not a real-life feature). The palm trees start to move in the wind and soon bow down near the windows and, at first, “roar” at us. Loud human voices, somewhat electronic, come from atop them. I find it curious but not unusual. Upon going outside, I see that Isaiah Washington (from “The 100”) is inside a space (as if I am viewing the imagery with x-ray vision) in the fetal position near the bottom of one of the palm trees. He is speaking into a microphone. He loudly and cheerfully states, “This is sector seven.” It seems that another male (though I do not see him) is inside the other palm tree. The loud voices are coming from loudspeakers atop the palm trees. The neurological function of the preconscious simulacrum (Isaiah Washington in this case) is to guide the dream self back into wakefulness (which is known as RAS or reticular activating system mediation or modulation depending on the mode of the dream self) - and enigmatic space typically results in an avatar with authority (fictitious or not) as in this case. The fetal position implies being “reborn” into waking life. The bowing palm trees are the association with a form of vestibular system correlation, the emerging awareness (vestibular precursor) of the return to viable physicality upon waking (as the dream self does not correctly discern the physical body until RAS and the vestibular system kicks in, which often results in flying or falling, bicycle riding, using stairs, and so on). It follows the usual autosymbolism-driven formats, in the same order, that my dreams have for over fifty years, though the processes are always unique and intriguing in their rendering.
Non-lucid – Notes – lucid – Interpretation – wake/dream visuals/visions 2018-11-18 The first of the four dreams occurred during the night, in response/preparation to our dream workshop during the evening and the interpretation round this morning. They occurred in the wake of an Ayahuasca ceremony which took place on the Friday, which for me were heavily themed around (A) the practice of acting/doing what I felt like, risking to provoke and loose standing from my friends and (B) learning to see under and past the emotional pain – that is not staring myself blind at the stuff that is troubling me, without ignoring it either, but allowing myself to see the broader picture. Dream 1: Sexual fantasy turns to voice from beyond, which culminates in a brutal murder and forgiveness of inner children. I am lying in the ceremony room, where a couple of us have gone to bed. Nala and I are starting to make out and she starts inviting to sex. I am thrilled, yet I don’t quite do anything about it. Eventually she calls out to Mads something along the lines “Mads I am trying to have sex with Dennis, but he doesn’t really seem to want to go along.” I quickly respond “Yes, Yes I do” and then we start having sex, she guiding me inside her. The dream then changes. Now there is some darkness and a female voice is calling out to me: “This is karmic, I will meet you in the summer.” I think to myself this pertains to a soulmate or girlfriend to come and I pull her out of the shadows, so that now I am staring at a doll face, that doesn’t seem to have any real facial features except the contours of the doll face and some long blonde hair. I ask her if she can provide additional details of herself, at which point I look at the doll face and see that her cheeks round up a bit. Other than that nothing else happens. I then parcour jump down into the basement, meant for parking cars. There I meet two boys, one is about 4-5 years old another is maybe 7-9. The young boy tells the older “This is where you did me wrong (or: this is where you annihilated me)”. The older doesn’t seem to quite understand, but then the story continues. Then a 12-13 year old guy appears – there is no question that he is a bully and he is much bigger, both taller, more muscular and fatter, he has a distinctly malicious energy about his person - while the two aforementioned remain hidden down behind a corner. The big guys is there to bully and the 7-9 year old then pushes the smaller one out from behind the corner, he seems to blush and turn red around the cheeks while doing so. As the youngest run out the Bully picks him up. As he picks him up he turns into a small baby of 6 months or maybe even smaller as in still a fetus. As soon as he has picked him up he walks over to a railing and slams the head of the youngest down into this railing. Killing him. The youngest looks like a doll and I say something along the lines of “Ah it was a doll”. However then the scenario shifts about and from above the doll is seen lying on the ground, and it is clear that the Bully has killed the youngest fetus/6months old cold blooded. The 7-9 year old is devastated and I am now back in my body and participating in my dream. It is clear to me that my reason for being there is that I must forgive the 7-9 year old, that is the karmic stuff the woman was talking about. I sit down with the guy and we both cry like babies. I don’t think I have ever been so wrecked by guilt, disgust, anger, sorrow and empathy for the guy. It is difficult containing all these ambivalent feelings and focus on forgiving him, yet this is what I sit down with him and do. Dream Ends. Dream 2: Walking through a fairgrounds in the rain. I am outside in a fairgrounds of some description. The atmosphere is holiday-like and I am walking around by myself, though there are many people around. I am walking past playful attractions, like a bouncy castle where I wonder if it is OK I am wearing shoes. I also walk past loads of food outlets – notably fastfood ones, like Sunset Boulevard and McDonald’s – and contemplate buying food, though I don’t in the end. It starts raining, severely. I get drenched in my brown Polo shirt, which I received from a friend of mine about 15-20 years ago. I wonder to myself how I will manage being all drenched and I take off my shoes and find that they are completely soaked in and filled with water as well. Dream Ends: Interlude: Before going into the dreams that followed later this day it is worth while noting a few events that transpired. The reason being that heavy emphasis was placed on sharing and interpreting these above dreams before the following 2 occurred. Thus the following two dreams can be both expressions of the same primarily activated themes, but also responses to the interpretations that were carried out. So I interpreted the first dream as essentially carrying a theme, which is best summarised as the relationship between various inner children. The narrative transformations provide some indications as to what the theme is about, I think. The dream starts out as a sexual fantasy – which is both day residue, as we fell asleep together and both of us apparently experienced fear and confusion as to what the connection was all about, as well as a pinpointing of a challenge I experience in intimate relations (the fear of reaching out, making the first move and committing to expose myself through expressing desire and attraction) – that then transforms to a karmic message “This is about karma, I will meet you in the summer”, which is a dialogue with a “faceless” woman (which carries on a theme of recent where a veiled woman has made herself known, as well a running into “the guy who wants to remain hidden” on the same night in a different dream), which then leads to a display of the killing of the youngest child (4-5 years old, turns into 6 months/fetus) through the brutal action of the 12-13 year old, but guided by the 7-9 year old. The intense emotionality, the supernatural aspects as well as the residual impact leads me to suspect this as a prospective dream, indicating that a dawning realisation of the interrelation between various “sub-programmes”. I suspect this is related to the connection between my fear of intimacy (which was prevalent with Nala) and my fear of promoting myself. The reason I suspect this was that when I was discussing some of the potential meanings of these boys of various ages with Mads on the way back from the weekend the 12 year old reminded me of a time when I had a crush on a girl from my class (Djana), though I never really dared to admit it. I could admit it to myself, but I was afraid of admitting to it publicly, which has been a recurring story ever since. This theme of public displays of affection was actually activated as an element of conscious reflection during the breakfast, where I engaged with Nala in an intimate fashion. So it is as if at least 3 of these 4 inner children are known to me. (1) Fetus//6 months old – pertaining to being abandoned (in the womb through smoking, alcohol consumption and potentially a polluted motivation of wanting to keep a hold on my dad, indicating a dysfunctional relation already then and the traumatic experience at 1,5 months old that I have talked to my mother about) (2) the 4-5 year old (The memory of getting punished for reaching out for food, being shamed and made wrong, as confirmed by my cousin who was in the memory) (3) the 12-14 year old (associated with being afraid to publicly commit to attraction and already at this point in time experiencing difficulty in expressing sexual desire or making the first moves. The 4th (the 7-8 year old) is so far unknown to me (it is the period of my life where I first discovered computer gaming, is the first that springs to mind). In any case the notion around Djana becomes present in one of the following dreams. Dream 3: How can one loose a space ship, well apparently it is because we forget how to look at the stars at night. There is a vista of a city skyline in bright sunlight. I am overlooking this from the water, a river I think. Then a portal opens and a version of the starship Enterprise appears. Then another and another I think of up to 6 or 7 appear. They are all slightly different, with different details around particular the engines, but it is important and it is made known to me that these differences matter, as it is a proof that I am not “just seeing things”. Then an alarm is sounded, or it is made known that we have lost a starship. There is a meeting of various generals from all over the world. Then a question is posed “How is it even spotted when it is hanging out there in the outskirts of the solar system in the darkness?” and an immediate, but also embarrassing answer (because it is so obvious) is posed. “Our allies (a different species) can walk in space and so can easily see spaceships in the darkness”. Then the Iranian general walks out to observe the stars and train his vision, but also do something of some description to retrieve the starship. Dream Ends: Dream 4: At a party, going home early to meet Djana, but is instead greeted by 6-7 aliens looking for Hude Dant – which I recognise as an obvious allusion to Hugh Grant. I am out partying with my friends. I decide to rather quickly return home and here I hope that I will find Djana at home. When I return I notice a small car parking on the other side of the road. It is driven by a woman – who is sitting in shadows and whom I have an awkward feeling about – we have a history and she is somehow connected to picking up Djana or someone else. I walk in and am pleased to find that the doors are open and that there is a light on. I walk in and down to the basement, but can’t find Djana. Instead I find my laptop lying on the sofa. Then a whole bunch of people walk in. I immediately know that they are aliens disguised as humans and that they are somehow connected with the previous spaceships (though I have no explicit memory of the previous dream, in this dream). There are 3-5 of them in the room and they are looking for Hude (or Lube) Dant, but I also know that this is a poor way to cover up that they are looking for Hugh Grant. There is a scenario shift to a driving car with 2 aliens in it, where one has disguised itself as a Dane and another as a Swede. There is a statement that I should keep away from Copenhagen and that there is something funny about this disguised Dane speaking Danish. It is all connected to a greater mission of sorts. Dream Ends: Non-lucid – Notes – lucid – Interpretation – wake/dream visuals/visions
Updated 11-19-2018 at 02:31 PM by 35291
Morning of November 10, 2018. Saturday. Dream #: 18,954-02. Reading time: 2 min 26 sec. Readability score: 66. I am looking at a map of the island of Sulawesi (Celebes) with its very unusual shape. I notice an isolated fictitious town with the name of “Core” that is otherwise where Central, West, and South Sulawesi meet. There are mostly only native inhabitants there. I project my dream self into the map to create the foundation of my dream. I decide I will play the role of introducing new opportunities and resources to the region. At one point, I mentally create diced pineapples in a bowl and the tribal leader enjoys them. I reassure him that I will only allow a few tourists to come to the area only during certain time periods and that I will have my team clean the region on a regular basis. At another point, several soldiers, all in black, come to occupy the area. I mentally create an army that comes in from a ship and wipes them all out. I decide to go on a journey to Los Angeles. An unfamiliar backpacker asks if he can go with us, and I say yes. I enjoy the idea of a random dream denizen (almost as if I see him as “real” or having perception) being on my ship in my dream. Although the trip is supposed to last several days, we arrive there within minutes. I try to make the ocean waves more interesting. In the distance, there seem to be huge “curtains.” I alter the nature and progression of my dream with the intent of increasing my dream state awareness. I create rain to sustain and vivify my dream to astounding levels (as water and its specific dynamics has always been a natural melatonin factor of the dream state). The weight and coolness of the water is incredibly realistic. I slowly fly in standing position above an unknown town in semidarkness. I marvel at the pleasurable sensations of the rain that falls upon my skin and the realistic, vivid sound of rain all around me. I fly slowly over a small canal with culverts on each end. I eventually land and bring out the sun. I walk down a wooden sidewalk and notice the nexus simulacrum (personified preconscious) going through a doorway built adjacent to the building on my right but of which goes to the intersection, but I mentally force him to turn around. I ask him, “What is your name?” He looks puzzled and in a hurry. “What is your name?” I ask him two more times, in case there is an interconsciousness thread present. I maintain the expectation that the nexus simulacrum may have a level of transpersonal intelligence that may not originate from my dream self. He answers with “Dennis Sunimun.” I let him leave, as he seems late for a business meeting. Still, “Dennis” is the name of my brother and “Sunimun” is an obvious distortion of “sunny man.” I was hoping for something more, evidence of intelligence beyond my own, which has been present in certain previous dreams. I reset my dream, with the possibility I will wake myself, but I end up in an offset dream of lesser vividness. Still, I make my way to a library to write down the event. I walk through midair, about ten feet above the street, with a few random people. In the library, I read handwritten details in a notebook. I write “Dennis Sunimun” several times, but when I look each time, I am not sure if it is clear enough to carry over into my conscious memory and I try writing it again. Finally, I go into another area of the library and walk out with my family.
Morning of September 30, 2018. Sunday. Reading time (optimized): 3 min. Readability score: 58. With my transient dream self’s presence in a non-lucid dream, when the personified subconscious loses its viable connection to both the unconscious mind and the current conscious self identity and my conscious self is virtually annihilated, there are still threads that hold logical potential to pull my dream self back into reality. Having studied the subliminal, liminal, and lucid modes of my dream self since early childhood, most of my dreaming and waking processes have remained unequivocal. Since childhood, certain anchoring factors have maintained the foundation of the dream state by way of the virtuous circle effect, either by establishing non-lucid dream control or the presence of the emerging consciousness that brings about apex lucidity or clarity in otherwise distorted erroneous sequences. Understanding such processes is what brings about non-lucid dream control and eradication of so-called bad dreams (other than when prescience or transpersonal communication is a factor, especially when biological or health-related). Certain aspects of the dream state may seem strange and illogical but have known explanations inherent to the dream state itself. For example, the library and bookstore settings have a dream self essence that is closer to my current conscious self identity. That is a result of subliminal preparedness for using thinking skills that typically do not exist in the dream state, modes of thought that automatically vivify and clarify my dream (as the subconscious self is incapable of discerning spoken language, symbolism, numbers, or text unless subliminal, liminal, or lucid conscious threads are present). I knew this in childhood and was able to take advantage of it. The preparatory process is extant and dominant in this dream. I am in the Nundah bookstore with Zsuzsanna and our children as we appear now. The bookstore, as since childhood, is an anchor of my current conscious self. That is why I am aware of threads of my present life and marriage even if we have not been to the Nundah bookstore in many years in reality and its layout and appearance in my dream is erroneous in many ways. (Additionally, my focus on where we live is incorrect as is most often the case. I think of Barolin Street, where we have not lived in years, which was also in Bundaberg, not Brisbane. Once again, I find fascination with the multiple errors in specific combinations that my dreams never render more than once.) The bookstore has new and secondhand books and a lot of comic books. I walk past a section with history books. Before I look around, I tell our youngest son to come into the store, as he is standing in the heavy rain. Our middle son is outside as well but in the storefront portico. I consider that they may want to go home, but after several attempts, I get them to come into the store. I am calling them from about the center of the store rather than near the entrance. That may be because I am subliminally aware that a door is a dream’s exit point (though can be used to trigger or augment lucidity). I study many comic book covers, too numerous to describe in detail. I decide to buy four. The last one is a hardcover graphic novel wrapped in plastic. The price is $19.95. The cover features Spider-Man, in a black costume, with his left arm missing with some gore. The story relates to a long battle with Puma, similar to a comic book story I have not looked at or thought about for years. I see a display with four new comic books with different titles that have a related storyline. It relates to a new X-Men series. I consider buying one but decide not to, as I would have to buy them all to understand their continuity (which would be too expensive). I tell Zsuzsanna that the total is about fifty dollars. It is $35.94. Two are fifty cents, and another is $14.99. I notice Christmas decorations in one section of the bookstore. I see Zsuzsanna’s baby pram near the back of the store. We will be going home soon. Vestibular system correlation begins in the final scene, personifying as a young girl performing ballet in an open area that looks like the local library rather than a bookstore and where a few people are sitting at tables and reading. She does a cartwheel “into” me. I wake. There was a storm today, so my dream was correct about heavy rain coming when there has been hardly any rain for months.
I'm hiking through some mountains to get somewhere. I took a different route than other people to the point we're meeting at and end up arriving first. Other people are at this spot, but most of them are packing up. I start to unpack and get ready to lay down for some rest. It starts to drizzle rain, however, and my things, including my sleeping pad, start to get wet. Looking up at the sky, I can see it's still sunshine but a dark cloud is right over us and getting bigger. I hope it moves away soon and start blowing up my sleeping pad. I take deep breaths in and surprisingly blow up and significant amount of it in just a few breaths. Everyone from my group starts to show up at this point and ask how I got here so fast.
Sep 19 2018 [D] A new member of a BBS/forum commits suicide and posts graphic pictures, leaving clues behind. Some users of the BBS call it a hoax, others accept that it's real but are still indifferent. His name is something like OPMQLN (six letters, unsure about the first two only). [F] Walking down a city street at night. There's an interstate hi-rise above us (I'm walking with one to five other people). It's dark but there's a sort of faded golden glowing property around everything. There was either snow or rain on the ground, and in the sky, but not touching us. Maybe I was with two people and we passed six people? Overall a feeling of good cheer. [D] I'm in a room similar to a cabin I once stayed at with F. It has a queen bed and is connected to a long living room which leads to a kitchen. I'm working (at my old restaurant possibly) and my (fictional restaurant) coworker drops a glass of spaghetti. The glass had the noodles, meat, and sauce combined already. When the jar shatters there's a ballistics-like scene left over. It reminds me of the strings Dexter puts up for blood spatter analysis. My coworker needs to clean it up and the vibe is that I should help but I refuse because he made the mess. A speck of sauce made it all the way into the first room, and I wipe it off with my finger. I'm bringing two hardcover books (one is light blue) to place on a bookshelf in the original room. [D] A long, three-stage epic about an apocalypse. The first is live-action and sort of reminds me of Princess Mononoke, it takes place in a dark forest and tells the story of the mother and child; at parts the visuals are clay stop-motion. The second part has visuals similar to Vampire: The Masquerade: Bloodlines (very specific to how the walk cycle animations look in this game, and the general quality). The mother and child are at the ranch home, but on this rainy night an evil woman creature steals the prize horse. The father mounts an evil beast and chases after her. He's weilding a black buster sword. From a distance, she casts some sort charm/weaken/poison spell on him and he (me) starts seeing bats with different visual effects (invert colors, seeing auras, blur, etc.). He dies. The child grows up a bit and one night rides out to the edge of the field, and she reaches a resort hotel where she speaks over a fence to a woman near the swimming pool. In the third part, the child is grown, and the town around her is separated into different Animal-Crossing-like houses. They each represent someone in the town who's died (one of them representing her father) and they look like russian dolls. Then they all simultaneously turn around and just look like houses (they're lined up in a grid). Their brick tiles/shingles on the right side of each house shift slowly up in a symbolic gesture. [F] I'm in my old church on the altar. [D] I'm a youngish man with a wife and kid(s), I've just managed to stop the nuclear apocalypse somehow. There were three huge glowing green worms/dragons/snakes (in some scenes they remind me of Mass-produced Evas), and now they're banished or blacked out from our world. Scene transition to me shooting a rocket launcher, but it just puffs. Scene transition to an overview of the land in black, and the three green snakes circling around it, but being unable to enter (there is a circle that they can go behind and be blacked out, but they can't affect anything (I think in-dream -- maybe they can within the blackout circle). Scene shift to a sliding glass window and I see my daughter outside. I almost get lucid and have the opportunity to, but for some reason don't. I'm really drawn in by my (fictional) daughter and rush outside to pick her up. It's a really heartwarming moment. Scene shifts and it's a third person view and my fictional family and I get into a bus. I'm narrating like it's the end of movie and I just did something badass. I remember the line "I make $50,000." We head out of the driveway and are imediately crashed into by a firetruck. My family is fine but I'm injured, the fire department (and chief) are very resentful at me for some reason. Maybe in the way that I saved the world I somehow stepped on their toes. They rummage through our stuff in the bus. [D] I'm going through a house which feels more like a gift shop. In the entrance there are some people talking, the first time through they feel off but the second time I realize they're platic with speakers and they say the same bit each time. There are glass display cases with objects inside, possibly this is a museum for one of the apocalypses in my former dreams. I pass through a (possibly beaded) doorway on the right if you're coming in (there's a counter or column or something in the middle of the room that you have to walk around). The black guy from Fear the Walking Dead (don't his name as I'm only passively watching this show while F watches it) is leaning at a bar counter and I pass him. Off to the right is a door which I don't think twice about the first time through. The second time through, I go in and there's something secret and important there, like it's an exit into another place (possibly the cabin in my early dream?). There's a valuable item in a chest which I see, can't remember what it was now.
Sep 17 2018 I color-coded again, but somehow still went out of order. Why is the order of ROY G BIV so hard for my just-awoken mind to remember? [F1] Red - I was in an open wooded area with about 6 others (family/friends), and we were being threatened. Possibly at gunpoint? The dream was long, vivid, and dramatic, but I don't remember much now. [D1] Yellow - I had a new boss, who looked like a soccer mom/high-powered woman from an episode of Undercover Boss I recently saw. She had serious botox face and bad red lipstick. We became close and trusted each other with secrets. In the office (dark interior, fading afternoon sun coming through huge windows, on a stairwell near a door to an auditorium) I see she's looking at her phone with a night-vision video playing, I understand it to be about my current manager (Y). Y is in the wrong. I ask for details but new boss can't share them. Next we're in a minivan riding down my old street. It's dark, and we drive up to my childhood home, but my dad has left a ~10x5 foot flatscreen TV on a box in the middle of the driveway. [D2] Orange - I'm in my childhood home with my new boss and family/friends for a barbeque/get-together. It's morning or overcast afternoon, and it has just rained/is about to rain again. I talk with my boss & family for a while and then I understand that my grandpa is coming in (he was dropped off in the backyard?). I go to help him in. I pass a bouncy castle in the back-left corner of the yard where a tree is with kids inside. It's raining and I'm wondering if they'll be okay in there. I hop around, dodging deep muddy ruts and footprints in the yard. Finally I get to my grandpa and help him inside, and I notice he didn't bring any drinks (he always brings soft drinks to social gatherings). When we get to the patio, I look in an oversized ice chest and there aren't any drinks there either. Suddenly the rain intensifies and I warn my dad because the grill is flaming and isn't under the patio. [F2] Green - This is a strange sequence of events and I'm not sure which came first. In Scene A, I'm downstairs in my WL living room which is brightly lit for a while with others, then the scene transitions and I'm in bed with the side-table lamp on, and there are three servants in the bed next to me. I clap our WL copper cooking tongs together and the servants take a strange formation. In Scene B, I'm in bed in the dark, and I have a close memory of being downstairs, so I focus on the difference between the location of my body in bed (which I can barely feel) and the location of my body downstairs in memory. I try to WILD and almost succeed, unsure if I did. There are three possibilities and I can't remember which is the actual case. Scenario 1: Scene A came before Scene B, and I was trying to DEILD and failed. Scenario 2: Scene B came before Scene A, and I successfully WILDed. Scenario 3: Scene B was an FA, because its memory has a dream-like quality. In any case these were pretty vivid. I just wish I got more sleep
I saw several design sketches for a character. I knew it to be Claire, and I knew it was the future. Maybe the '30s. She was standing in the street. It was nighttime and raining. She had a futuristic umbrella with a shaft that lit up. Her clothing was era-appropriate. A stylish black/dark grey trench coat.
Morning of July 26, 2018. Thursday. Reading time: 2 min 48 sec. Readability score: 56. In my dream, most of my current conscious self identity no longer exists. Only one identifiable thread remains for this excursion into the absence of self. I am about 15 years old again. My mother is alive and present at one point, but I am unaware of my father. (This is the typical absence of viable memory and “means” nothing. In other dreams, I remember my father and not my mother. It is because the dream self does not have viable access to the unconscious mind, contrary to popular misconception. The preconscious has limited access, but the dream self does not. Additionally, the preconscious always knows it is dreaming when the dream self does not, which is why RAS avatars and emerging consciousness simulacra are rendered in the last dream of a sleep cycle to initiate the waking process.) There is a thread of awareness that I am in bed asleep in reality, though this is a common factor of subliminal presence, not an indication of lucidity, as my dream self is not aware of being in the dream state. I am writing in my dream journal. As I write, I notice a gentle rain outside. My bed is in the northeast corner of the room, lengthwise to the north wall, the head oriented east. I see the orange grove beyond the carport, though the rendering is different from real life. I am looking through the open jalousie louvers of the carport door. (This setup is likely my subliminal awareness of a doorway representing a dream’s potential exit point, a typical form of reactive representation in the dream state since early childhood.) As I write, I vaguely recall that other people read my dream journal, but the recall is not full, that is, I do not remember that the Internet (or computers) exists. The thought about other readers is there, yet it does not trigger the emerging consciousness factor or RAS activation until later (and there is not a separate preconscious waking process in this dream, mostly because it is not the last dream of my sleep cycle). On one level, I am aware I am dreaming. On another level, my dream self does not hold this realization. This enigmatic state has been common to my dreams since early childhood and is not lucidity, but is one of many reasons why I know “interpretation” is not a valid concept. (Other than with factors such as literal prescience, I am aware of the processes that underlay experiences in REM sleep.) My dream self is perplexed by the recall of how anyone could believe in “interpretation.” (My dream self remains without recall of the Barnum effect as a factor of causation.) Even as a young child, I sometimes went into several pages of why dreams held the causes, meanings, and effects that they did. I was more sarcastic of disinformation agents and empty-headedness at age eight than in my tamer rants as an adult since my 2004 online presence (probably because my mother often shared invalid beliefs about dreams she heard from people in her time, though most of which I still see on the Internet to this day). As I am watching the rain and listening to its peaceful sound, I write in my journal, “When I am dreaming about rain, it means that I am dreaming about rain. You idiot.” (This is somewhat ironic, as I know water and its specific dynamics typically correlate with ultradian rhythm, the extent of muscular inactivity in sleep, and the dynamics of the glymphatic system. Still, this is in stark contrast to the asinine rubbish that “water represents emotions.” Additionally, even from when I was a toddler, I have always used the essence of water to reinduce the dream state as with its usage as such on virtually countless commercial recordings.) This dream mainly came about in response to the typical infuriating nonsense people sometimes leave on my posts on one site (as the site does not have the option to delete or block comments, so I remove the entry and repost it). It is unfeasible for me to post the same extensive paragraphs of information about RAS mediation each time as explanatory notes for a particular dream.
I start off in this dream outside. It was raining and I was trying to find shelter. I ran up on to an outside porch but it was too small so I looked around and found a bigger poucher that had a hard wood floor and ran up on it. After that I then spot some animals tiny little ferrets messing around in the road. I get them and ended up taking them off to somewhere and now I'm back at Burton Ave and I let them go there. They are running around and skittering about then thought "what if they hav a home or a nest at the old place. I better return them there before they decided I was at a school and I needed to find away back home. I walked around outside and found out that I was on the wrong side which was the back of the school and needed to get to the front so I cut through the school and this is what happened. I come up a hallway and as I do, I pass up a room witnessing a nearly horrid event. I was in a factory and there were about four or five men there there dressed in white clothes. The room was big, dark and strange with an open ceiling to the sky. There was a steel making machine there that had a door open, leading into a room full of hot, glowing metal. Someone went up there to close it but slipped and almost fell into the room, landing sideways with his head in the room. He quickly got up, slammed the door shut and collapsed from on the steps he was on. I heard yelling as they quickly ran up to him and caught him,before he hits hid head on the concrete and die anyhow. They righted him up and he walked with them off to go get help from the burns on his face and upper torso. I was now in the dream and I was peering into the room at the event as it unfolded and got out of there when they brought the man near me. I didn't want to see is injuries up close and avoided him. I turned around and went down a hallway that was fully lit like that of a school. In fact I had to find away to get back home because I had missed my ride since they only wait so long. It was Night time and knew it was beyond coming back. I went back into the school and to my horror saw Jason Voorhees walking up from the woods towards me. I ran into the hallway and avoided him just as he tried to grab me. I knew that it'd be impossible to escape if he caught hold of you. As I ran down the hall I saw that Jason was now on this motor chair thing and it was much faster then me. I ducked as he swung the machete at my head, nearly decapitating me. I started to go into the room where the other people was at earlier but was afraid that if I went there, Jason would kill them, so I avoided that place. Jason got off of the strange chair thing and I can see his masked face. I kicked him in the face, damaging his nose and saw that his clothes began to bulge and break as rotted skin seeped through it. Ew! I kicked him again and ran back out the way I just came, towards the double doors, leading outside. As I ran own the hall I spotted someone sitting on the floor up against the wall, slumped over. It was the burn victim. He had been injured by jason now and I was so hell bent on trying to get away from him that I didn't even realized that the men were actually here. He came to life when I got near him, thinking he was dead. I pulled him up by his arms and we both ran the rest of the way down the hall. Jason was a melted mess, dropping bits of maggots and dead flesh on the ground as he continued after us but collapsed right at the double doors where we ran through. No that Jason was gone. The man I was with sat down on the steps, in front of the doors Jason died at. As that was happening some school DCs show up one being a teacher in an orange shirt and some other student who had shourt brunette colored hair that stopped at her shoulders. She looked to be Indian and the teacher was talking to another unseen person saying. "These two." She pointed over at Me and the indian girl. "These two are always the ones to get left." Then a bus pulls up. After that I look over at the man and seen that he had become too weak to hold himself up and laying on his back behind him was what was left of Jason who is now a pile of innards that looked like intestines and brown blood. That man was laying it and I can see that the stuff. I ran up to him and can see he was still alive and was in pain from the innards. They were corrosive! I quickly picked the man up in may arms and ran on to the bus that I knew was there to take me home. As we rode on the bus the man became better and it was now daylight. I was looking out the back of the bus that had windows there and we had stopped at a red light. As we waited I saw a young boy out in the yard hitting at bees. He hit one at me and somehow I got stung and I yelled at him about it. The man on the bus says. "I know where he lives. I will get him. The bus takes off and we are on our way to somewhere. Now I'm in a completely different part of the dream. I'm watching Power rangers and there is a Megazord fight going on. A gold and red colored robot is fighting the Megazord from Pertarangers and for some reason in the drea he is known for the wolf Kiaser Megazord. He is winning and is throwing the robot into buildings since this city is abandoned. They get tossed nearly out of the arena. They get back up only to get uppercut and slammed into another building. I get a brief thought about a scene that I have seen recently where a megazord punches a monster down and he falls into an allyway inbetween two buildings the Megazord ans looking down upon him. The people inside to robot decides to surrender, throwing up there hands. But the Megazord didn't see it and gets ready to finish them. The three people inside the cockpit scream for them to stop. They heard them at the last possible second and spared them. The Megazord grabs them by the throat, looks at them for a short time then drops them, turning and walking away. I thought "Man this is the longest Megazord battle I have ever watched." The higher up bad guys didn't like what has happened and the shot a beam down to Earth, hitting the Robot the three people were in. It showed red and gold colored DNA and something got pulled out and replaced with an intrusive white triangular shape and a something bad has happened tune plays. The Pilots got ejected from their robot and and the robot is his own being. He says something in his own voice then goes and attacks to Megazord while it's back was turned. After some time I began to hear a rumbling sound and I realized that the rangers were now pissed and is about to form the ultrazord. I seen the bear ninjazord run in sight for a split second before darting behind another building. Knew the crane was coming out next and know how it like things that are graceful. So I started dancing around gracefully, wanting it to land on my hand but woke up.
Updated 06-16-2018 at 02:17 AM by 13650
Morning of May 8, 2018. Tuesday. I allow the awareness of my physical body to become autosymbolic in the rendering of a silver van. I recognize the essence of water as dream state induction, the gentle beautiful rain splashing lightly on me at times from my left through the open window of the van. The van is driving itself without incident even though I am behind the steering wheel. Zsuzsanna is to my right in this dream (and I am sleeping more down on my stomach, so she is to my right side in reality, though I most often sleep on my left side). The van was meant to move through rain, which is the essence of well-being and healing factors, the brain and heart about 73% water at that. We go through a sparse forest of young trees; the trees on each side pass by in both directions. I do not reflect much upon such impossibility. We phase through a chain-link fence. I enjoy going down the escalator of Hinkler in the van, with brief puzzlement of what may or may not be a car wash as we go elsewhere. Other people are walking around, shopping. Miniature cars drive above me, on the ceiling, upside-down, their headlights creating a harmonious awareness. The van drives itself through a hall in an unknown building that is just big enough for it to move through. Then in a more augmented vestibular awareness, we fly far above a lake near early evening. Rain upon me in the dream state is so pleasing. Whatever vehicle my body becomes auto symbolically, car, van, airplane, boat, there is still flight potential.
At first, I dreamt that I was in the front yard of my friend (Z)'s house. Our dads were sorting our clothes, yelling at us and getting rid of what's "inappropriate" (Basically just crop tops and shorts of any kind.) I remember there was a dark blue crop top T-shirt with three rings near the bottom, which would expose the stomach area. (Z)'s dad said, "Oh, hell no." And threw it into the "inappropriate" pile. I also feel like I remembered seeing a long sleeved crop top with a Disney character on it, like Winnie the Pooh or something. At one point, other people came, and we were all trying to sneak away from the piles of clothes. I remember it was pouring rain at this point. We were pretty successful, until I realized that someone else needed to escape. My American history lessons must be leaking into my dreams, because, at this point, I ended up helping a runaway slave. He was in his late teens or early 20's, with short hair and (I think) a light blue, button up shirt. Although the rest of the environment was modern (cars, etc.), the guy that I was helping looked and acted like he was still from the 17 or 1800's. So, my mind decided that we were in the 1700's, although there were still cars and modern streets all around. We got into a car, which had an interesting design. It was wide and rounded, reminding me of something out of The Lorax. I'm pretty sure that it was red, and on the inside, the levers and stuff were a lot longer (easy access?). The doors were also different; the hinges were around where the middle of the windshield would be, so it was... Interesting. He drove for a bit, quickly and recklessly, to go north quicker. After a few minutes, we realized that if someone saw him driving, they would report him as a runaway. Because of this, we switched spots (while the car was still in motion), and decided to pretend that he was my slave to avoid suspicion. I think I woke up at some point in the middle of this dream. I had another dream, but all I remember is that I was walking in a forest, on some kind of quest. There were patches of snow, and a path, which led into a cave. I don't remember any of what happened, but it was I nice environment.
The first dream happened the morning of the 25th. The dream memory was pretty jumbled when I woke up, so I am reconstructing based on memory, voice recording, and a bit of creativity. Earthquake / Movie Series I was trying to ride a bike, but it wasn't working correctly. A device I was looking at told me to visit two locations in town due to recent "embarrassments" that happened. My brother went with me to check out one of the stores. I recall seeing some items such as old gameboy advance SPs, UFO stuffs, etc. Thinking back, it reminded me of a souvenir shop. Next thing I recall I was in a shed behind the house I currently live at, when suddenly the ground started shaking fairly violently. I walked outside and the earthquake got serious. I could see the ground moving and I had to crouch to the ground and try to hold on to something. I then saw what looked to be a tree in front of the house topple over completely. I heard it crack and snap, and saw the top of the tree disappear out of sight. The earthquake stopped, and I went to go investigate. My family stayed back in the shed for some reason. Turns out the majority of the tree was still intact, but a large branch had snapped right off and was lying in front of the tree. Suddenly it started pouring outside. I had the feeling my family was just about to leave the house to go visit my niece and nephew. I went inside the house for some reason, and on my way up the stairs I noticed it was raining indoors! Like a minecraft glitch or something the rain was just straight and consistently falling from the roof, yet there was no visible holes showing the outdoors. I noticed how odd it was, then I saw the window was open, so I shut it, even though it didn't fix it. I went to my room and it had a layer of water on the bottom. It was also raining in this room as well. I started lamenting my computer as it had to be toast now due to the water exposure. I grabbed whatever it was I went into the house for. I then explored the house further for more damage and found myself in what seemed to be an attic. Again, it had a layer of water on the floor, so it was flooded. I noticed 3 distinct holes that were just spewing water. One spot looked like a drainage pipe that just came loose, so I pushed it together and it was fixed. The other two were a hole in the floor and one on the wall. I then noticed what I figured was either a hot water heater or otherwise a pipe of some sort. I turned off the water flow and let it drain a bit I opened the hatch to get inside and walked on in. I patched any further holes I saw inside these pipes, but on my way out a family member must have noticed the door open because the door suddenly shut and the water valve was turned back on. I then drowned due to the rising water level inside... Suddenly the perspective changed and I was watching the character that died, and he looked just like Jim Carrey did in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind(Which I just watched the night before. Good movie, recommend). I get a glimpse of the character's funeral which included the typical black dresses, weeping, etc. The family was mortified. I then saw the outside of the home again. I'm just observing whats going on, and I see a few white statues gathered around the yard. I thought about how I could have shared with the family what I was doing before trying to fix the leakage. I then blamed myself for causing my family so much grief. Even though the character, or me, or whatever was dead, I was still walking around like a ghost or something. Feeling guilty, I left a message for the dream wife explaining what happened and apologizing for being an idiot. The white mages I saw before approached me, and called themselves dead poets. They invited me to join their group, under the condition that I abandon my old life and never contact them again seeing that I'm dead. They did recommend staying for the burial. They told me I would not be seen due to the SEP. (Somebody else's problem, an effect from HHGG that causes people to ignore the supernatural as if it wasn't there simply because they couldn't possibly be bothered to see it.) I replied that I kinda sortof made a scene my leaving a voice message on the wife's phone. They laughed it off and said that couldn't possibly have any effect. She wouldn't hear it, or it wouldn't have any ramifications, etc. They were wrong. My dream wife saw me immediately at the wake and chewed me out for "faking my death" and "Being an asshole" and "betraying the family..." RIP. She accused me of having an affair, that I didn't love her, etc. what a mess. The next dream happened the morning of April 26th, after my sleep cycle ended. I recalled no other dreams, so I set my alarm to snooze. Still no dreams. Back to sleep, and that's where this dream comes in. Tragically, I immediately lost many of the dream's details once I woke up, and even with grabbing the voice recorder right away, I could not recover many details I wanted to. TOTY / Lucid The dream was very hazy. I found myself floating which is a normal dream sign for me. I commented that I must indeed be dreaming, since this only happens in my dreams. I instantly became lucid, but I really wanted to stabilize the dream. I wanted to make it more vivid, make sure it doesn't end soon, and to increase my control in the dream. I did the nose plug RC and I could breathe well. I noted how unusual this was, since usually when doing this RC I have to struggle to breathe through the plugged nose, but this dream it worked as if there was no blockage at all. I did indeed stabilize the dream to where it felt vivid, but I couldn't fully engage my senses. I was there, but it was not as good as it could be. I started on my list of tasks I would like to accomplish. Step 1, teleport to dream house. One goal is to make my childhood home the center of my dreams. I want most dreams to start there, and I want it to be a hub to visit various persistent dream realms and projects. Anyway, I don't remember how I got to the dream house, but I recall seeing a table and thinking with expectation that I would spawn in a fantasia hat. This hat would allow me to make inanimate objects come to life and do what I wanted them to. The hat did not appear at first, so I then tried putting my hand in front of me and covering my sight of the table where I wanted it to spawn. I then said it would be there when I lowered my hand, and it indeed was there! The hat felt very fake though. The color was more purple than blue, and it was smaller than expected, so it didn't fit my head. It just sat on top. I made a small object come to life. It floated, it glowed, it made sounds, but it didn't do any chores. I then tried it on a vaccum cleaner and a broom. While it did work, I noticed each object earned a small black attachment that signified it was being controlled by the hat's magic. I then went exploring in the house, and found it was a mixture of 3 homes I have previously lived in. My logic was clearly not as it should have been at this point because I exclaimed several times how accurate things looked while at the same time fumbling throughout the place like I didn't know where I was going and the layout didn't make sense. I was sortof trying to recreate my dream house as I was walking around and it didn't quite work. I recall going upstairs looking for my old bedroom and I found 3 bedrooms that shouldn't normally be there. I was exploring my old bedroom and noticed it had purple paint on the walls and it was nothing like the appearance of any bedrooms I have had before. I did notice my old comforter on the bed though, so that's interesting. I did actually see the hallway and my older brother's bedroom upstairs as I remember them. The bedroom had a blue carpet and was empty. I called for my dream guide but she didn't show. I tried summoning her around a corner with no success; I called her name, and random children and pets showed up. I actually called out the name Melania at first before catching myself that her name should be Sarah. I ended up going back downstairs and I saw my two brothers eating a pasta meal, and I was going to sit down with them but the only open seat was covered in pasta..
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