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I am in a combat situation. I am fighting this man; I know I have no chance against him, yet I still fight.

I am eventually defeated, but he does not kill me. Instead, he takes me for his own, imprisoning me for an indefinite period of time. I have no clue how long I am in this prison. All I know is I am not given enough nourishment in this place, and am slowly growing frail.

The man comes around and takes me out of my prison, bringing me to this place of glass. The entire building looks modernistic, yet all of the walls are made of glass. I am alone in this particular room, except for the armor in the corner I am to wear later, but I can see a group of men talking in another room. If I listen closely enough, I can hear what they're saying. They're talking about an upcoming fight, about how tough this contender is, and how this girl doesn't stand a chance.

Through listening to them, I realize I'm being set up for a fight with someone. Really, in my condition? What fun is fighting a weak girl?

While being frustrated about this and awaiting my "opponent", I hear a tapping on one of the glass walls. There is a rose, petals waving wildly, trying to get my attention!

I let the rose in, and is slithers into my room. It is a little worse for wear, most of the petals having wilted away. That doesn't seem to detract from it's spirit, however, because it starts talking really fast as if it has so much to say in a short amount of time.

This is the part I barely remember, sadly, but the rose tells that I need to leave immediately, that this was a setup, that this would lead to permanent damage. Then, the conversation turns strange. It actually answers a question I've been asking every night before I go to bed. It tells me the location of someone I've been looking for.

It did not tell me the exact location, but enough for me to go on. It tells me I need to go to her, and help her, for she will need the training. The rose says more, but I no longer remember, as this was the tail end of the dream.

That's all I remember.

Early evening of March 16, 2017. Thursday.



I am viewing a beautiful intricate scene that looks much like an animated embroidery scene in a light blue silvery monochrome. It mainly features a peacock, but there is also a large bell that hangs down from the center of a mirrored branch and vine pattern.

The peacock climbs down, eventually becoming upside-down, and crawls into the bell.

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This is very straightforward. The embroidery is of the type I saw on pillowcases when young, so there is the dream sign, then the return flight metaphor activates with a bell as the waking prompt. Although it decodes into solely dreaming and waking transition metaphors, it is unique and new (as well as with beautiful imagery).

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Update: Zsuzsanna was buying a couple second-hand embroidery books at the time of my dream, certainly not something she does on any regular basis, and there was no way I could have known.

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i cant remember were the dream started but i will put all that can remember.

i was on the street of a city no lights were on and i was flying around and then i saw a peacock man flying down the street chasing something so i followed him he was chasing another bird-like thing (not sure what) but i feel like the bird-like thing is in danger so i fire stuff out of my hands to stop peacock man it just gets absorbed into the feathers but he notices me
and changes direction to get to me when he gets close he starts talking (cant remember what he said) and threw a wand of sapient pear wood (from diskworld) at me i grab it and he flys at me i try to use the wand but nothing happens and he says
"it must not like you" and i stab him in the hand with it and run away i fell asleep on the edge of a building, when i woke up the top of the wand was chipped so i poke it and another piece falls off but its still attached and the whole wand just kinda unravels
later the peacock man finds me again and he wants his wand back so i stuff the unraveled wand into his hands and tryied to run but he grabs me and locks me in a top of a building then he leaves, there was a hole in the floor and i use magic to use it so see a top-down view of the city and i find peacock man riding in a swarm of monsters heading towards the bird-like thing
(he must really hate it) and that's when i woke up.

After two nights of involuntary sleep deprivation, I was really happy to get some decent sleep. Wasn’t really trying to lucid but got two DILDs as a bonus.

Total Sleep time: 8.30 hrs

Dream recall technique: wrote a few sentences and reviewed in mind; Dreams 2-6 were really one big dream chunk, but after the lucid my memory got really fragmented so I am missing the link between scenarios.

Dream1- DILD: I am in our old place (DS), my dad is talking about some old prosciutto, which he throws away. It is brownish dark in the room and there is a heavy storm outside. I feel as if the building is hanging in the air, the floor is swaying. I try to feel as stable as possible and wait the whole thing to be over, so I lay on the floor and observe the swaying motion. I must have fallen asleep…I find myself flying in the air. I know that I am dreaming now, I look below me, there is a game-like map, green fields with unnatural colors. I decide to take my time and do some flying, I go very high, then I feel some fear of heights, so I zoom-fly down. I am observing my reaction as I do this. The moment I reach a certain level of altitude, I get like a spasm on my back, which makes me want to fly lower. I find it entertaining and repeat this a few more times. Memory gap…Now, I am on the street and in front of me is a friend from school. This time she is behaving badly and is stepping on me with her shoe. I am still lucid, so I think I want to play with her. So she’s bad ah? I don’t care what she does to me, I will enjoy observing any unpleasant feeling, I will be detached. I feel some pressure-like pain and decide this is cool. I struggle a bit with her and overpower her, she is just staring at me now. But then, I feel that I can’t move my arms, they are twisted around, and I can’t fix that, there is some pain too. This is not fun anymore, so I decide it’s time to wake and DJ. I wake and write down some notes.

Dream2: Two Buddhist nuns are in the same room with me. One of them is a Swedish woman, who was a TV star when she was young, the other one is Asian and quite old. Some kind of lecture is about to take place. The nuns expect people to have read a particular brochure and ask questions. I have not prepared, so I will ask a practical question “How many hours a day do Buddhist monks meditate”. Less than the expected number of people enter the room, the lecture starts. For some reason, I don’t ask the question. Memory gap. The lecture is over and everybody goes out to perform a ritual, they are prostrating themselves, squatting in front of statue maybe of Shiva. I get confused about this, but imitate people nonetheless. I then remember that there were two lectures, one about Shiva, one with the Buddhist nuns. I chose the nuns I remember, at this point I see the image of something like a garden in front of a monastery I have been two about two months ago, in another dream. After I am finished with imitating others, I go back to the building.

Fragment3: In that building I am going back somewhere but the corridors are really narrow and there is a guy going in the opposite direction with some pillows. I finally manage to go in a room, where I meet a Russian guy. He tells me that I am his girlfriend now, and informs me what kind of expectations his dad has. While I want to be friends with the Russian guy, I tell him that I cannot possibly meet their expectations because I have a boyfriend.

Fragment4: I am moving by means of holding on to the rail tracks of a tram, travelling as they move.

Fragment5: I am on the street and there is a large white peacock flying in the sky! I observe it for quite a while until it lands. The sight is fascinating.

Dream6 - DILD: I am walking with a Chinese DC, she is explaining something about Chinese immigrants. We are about to enter some kind of mall/underground. There are many people there. I become lucid. The Chinese DCs guide me to a certain direction because it is so crowded. I notice a small screen with some kind of writing there. Five words, I read them out loud, a few times, they don’t change. I want to write this in my dream journal so I repeat this to myself and to nearby DCs many many times, until am sure I remember it. Out of the five words, I only remember the word “daily”. (what’s wrong with my lucid memory?) I really like reading stuff, so I guess I subconsciously summon more stuff to read, I see some poster and I concentrate on it. There is a mix of letters there, I try to read it out loud and laugh because it sounds absolutely ridiculous.

I decide to move on, but notice that the surroundings have changed while I was playing this little game. Now there are dark stairs going somewhere where I really don’t want to go. I want to have more light, I might have shouted something like “Light” but nothing happens. I want to change the scene, so I close my eyes for a while, despite the fact that I am a bit concerned it will all disconnect. I feel as if I haven’t physically moved from there, but the surroundings have changed, now this is like large underground parking lot. It is dark again, there are no people around, it feels creepy. I am pissed off because I don’t like this place! I hide behind a truck. I want to change the scene. What do I have to do, rub my hands? No, I shouldn’t do that! I can’t change the scene, I really have to read some more on that! I decide to wake up and maybe DEILD to another dream since I don’t want to stay here. I close my eyes, I want to disconnect. I am in the void, I also feel my legs, my physical legs. They are kind of paralysed, but I feel them submerged into some kind of electric thing, like electric water maybe, between my ankles and knee caps, I like that feeling and observe it with interest. It goes away and fall asleep to have a non-ld.

Dream7: Me and my guests are in a shower cabin. Two of us taking a shower, the third watching us outside the shower. This is the shower cabin of our guests and I have to clean it. They tell me that since I am cleaning the shower, I might as well clean the toilet seat as well. I wake up.

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Side notes:

- Did not RC or stabilize in both DILDs, they were stable and vivid

- Dream amnesia: did not remember TOTM, although I thought about DV when trying to read the letters

- LD dream recall: after browsing some dream journal notes of mine, I have noticed on some occasions my lucid memory deletes itself rather fast, and I remember some non-lucids in much more detail. Today’s lucids were very vivid and detailed, yet I forgot quite a lot. I think I have read in some DJs that other dreamers also forget some lucids, so that is not a new phenomenon. I wonder why that is.

-Changing the scene: I will have to read more about this because it seems that I can’t remember how or what to do. A reminder to myself- when trying to change the scene, try to picture where you want to be, not just close your eyes! (although closing the eyes kind of worked just the scene was unpleasant again)

Notes: Daydream, ADA

I was in the home of a friend, LP. His parents were there. We were worried they won't accept us, but they seem pretty cool. The place feels very homey. The father was particularly okay, and the mom was actually thinking he's going to end up with another guy friend, LR. We just laughed it off. His father said that he can't help much with the ritual tools though.

I was on the street. Supposedly going home after meeting up with friends. The area looks a bit like in one of my dreams before, and at the same time, the area near Cubao irl, near where we take a jeep going to Eastwood. For some reason, I doubled back and waited for my friends in a place that looks very much like a blend of our high school and college irl. I waited for them, and was thinking of surprising them. A guy friend looks a bit lost and he left some money on top of the bag, which he put on the table. I was going to surprise him by pretending to grab the money, but he barely reacted, and just said he thought I was going home. I told them I had to check my bank account's balance.

I was inside a house with a lot of people. It felt like home, except not sure which home in particular. I went out and saw even more people outside. Like there's going to be a parade, and all of the people are gathering outside the streets. I was thinking of going to a store or something. Then I saw a few people with guns. I wondered what's going to happen to have people carry guns. They don't look like the police either. I hurried back home instead. We talked about what's going to happen and about the guys with guns.

I was in a building. A lot of people are there. There's some sort of a meeting. For some reason, I was hiding. I was looking at the group from a ledge in the building. Then I think a guy noticed me. I hid behind another guy's dead(?) body. I think it was a dead(?) zombie. I used it as a shield as well as a hiding place, but it looked so awkward I'm sure the guy knows I'm there. I heard him shoot the zombie a few times. Then he went a bit around. He's on lower ground. He looks up at me and said something like, "Sorry, I don't know you but...." and he shot me. Only I wasn't dead. He let his guard down, and I just observed him. Then I grabbed his hand to break his little finger. He looked surprised and more amused than afraid.

I am looking at a female friend. She seems dazed. She was holding on a Blackberry. I (or was it someone else?) was pressing stuff on touchscreen. Then she woke up.

I am looking at a caravan of sorts. A llama leading a camel. I commented to someone how tall and proud the llama looks while the camel looked so down and low. I said it's a great metaphor for kings and slaves. The camel's neck was almost nonexistent, and it was very close to the body. On the other hand, it seems that the camel can survive harsher conditions. We arrived at the destination. I saw a huge peacock with it's beautiful tail feathers spread out. It was majestic. It acts as the throne for the princess. It's that huge. However, the princess wasn't sitting on it at the time. She asked the peacock to lay down its tail feathers and it obeyed. There's another woman (is it also the princess?) who was playing with a NDS on the side.

~ In a house that looks like Dean's house in West A, a middle aged couple have 10 children, 5 girls 5 boys, on the landing I look into one bedroom, bunk beds line the walls in a blue room, there are kids wandering about looking at me like I am out of place, I walk into the kitchen, smells like breakfast, the parents are trying to get all 12 meals made, I then go into the bathroom and sit on the edge of the bathtub just to think, I see 2 women sitting in front of me, one with a camera, I look down and I am naked I cover my breasts, it seems tv showy, woman with camera (long blondy brown curly hair wearing glasses) asks 'would you strip off naked and have sex on camera?' I think about my body and how self conscious I am then think f**k it and say yes and walk across the room naked.

~ Kind of in West A, I get on a bus, Rebecca D is on it and Coralena H (not seen them or 6 years or spoke, were never close) the buss is full of girls who I am not sure like me, I sit near the back, feeling awkward, I walk to the front of the distorted bus, but on my way a blue peacock starts attacking and biting me, I'm shocked at the assault but not that there is one on the bus, it's a male peacock and it's feathers are blue and shimmery green, it is amazing to look at inbetween trying to subdue the big bird. I press the stop button on the bus and bird disappears I look out the window and there is a beautiful deep blue sky nearly night time, I see a waterfall but on top of the waterfall next to a bush I see a dead womans body, bloody (I blame watching seasons of Medium for this) I realise this is what the bird wanted to show me.. the bus driver calls the police, they are swarming the bus taking details from the other girls, and they are proud of me for spotting it.

~ In a weird dark room and a PC is on, there is a white cupboard under the computer near the right side, I go in trying to find some goodies, I see a white tub with SD10-K written on, inside are medium sized white pellets perhaps 300 of them, I put one in my mouth crunch it slightly then realise it could be anything, I go on computer onto google and lysergic acid pops up, I think wow this is awesome, I then have 2 more tablets and the dream ends.

~ (again I blame Medium tv show for this one) A woman befriends people drugs them and then offers to take them home to safety conving them they've had too much to drink, she then kills and robs them, I find out she is going to target me and take my dads store of gold. I pretend to react from what she gives me in the club, and then act drugged leaning on her the way home, in house I collapse between two big red chairs, though open my eyes slightly to watch her, when she turns her back I jump on her but she is strong, I run out of the house into the back garden screaming trying to wake up the neighbours, she tackles me so I put my fingers in her eyes to cause damage, she then does it to me hurts me, I hear my dad shouting she gets off me quickly and tells him she brought me home concerned and that I attacked her, she is playing innocent, he believes her and offers her the spare room, I am outraged and argue with him.

~ I'm then in Mr Rossi's art class in my old sec school, and pick up someones art sheet, it shows different peoples eyes drawn and coloured in paint, on each eye there are 3 outer rings of colour, they aren't really neat as I look closer, each colour had a cool name, ingredient of ones eye colour, think one was called calladium? weird wonderful names for each colour.

~ I'm out shopping in a mall with my parents, I see Martyn H (ex bf) he looks slightly different but smiley, my mam speaks to him, I pretend I haven't seen him, with it being awkward I then think fk it and we give each other a huge cuddle our groins touching, it's nice, he then whispers to me 'remember when we had sex in the chair watching that dvd?' I then see the scene he is on about and smile (though in reality that never happened).

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

This night, many of the dreams were actually continuation of the same long dream, because they always went back to the same referencial labyrinthic building. Still, I defined each change of scene as a different dream. Sometimes it is difficult to make a clear separation between them.


23:00 GMT - Sleep

Undefined
I woke up remembering a long dream, but as soon as I reached for the notebook I forgot what it was. Something about capacities and expectations and achievements. I think I fell asleep thinking of recalling dreams and then made it into a dream, the rationalization around it.

0:50 GMT – 1st waking

Strange building
I am on some weird building, apparently with many other tourists. My father and my boyfriend are also present. The building is actually modern and not so special but they have this wooden stairs leading to the top of some tower, that are a huge challenge to climb and there’s a huge queue of people waiting to climb it. I realise I’m topless and I feel mildly embarrassed. It occurs to me that I am topless in there because I am sleeping topless in my bed – still, this awareness wasn’t enough for me to become lucid (Bollocks!).
I look in my bag for some clothes and find some t-shirts and even a bra, but the t-shirt is just fine and I wear it.
Because of this topless incident, I lost my place on the queue and because I and my boyfriend are bored, we decide to come back later. My dad had already climbed the stairs.

Girls with dog in parking lot
We go downstairs and find ourselves in the exit of the building’s parking lot. A car with some sort of towbox is stopped in the exit and two girsl are speaking with the security guy about something. Then I think they get all happy when their dog appears – I understood he was on the towbox and must have jumped off or something. They put him back on the open box and prepare to leave but we engage in conversation with them. Don’t remember exactly what it was about, but we connected deeply. I felt a sense of communion with them and they smiled and said “We may live far away from each other but we are part of the same small global village.” They left but they stayed with me, like a spiritual connection.

My cat and flirting with a singer from a band
I then see my cat roaming free in the parking lot and then up the stairs. He is a home cat, not used to be outside, so I was worried he would get lost (and what was he doing there?) so I caught him and hold him in my arms. I’m back to the wooden stairs but without my hands free I can’t climb them at all. So I take a lift that I just realise is there. Instead of leading to some interesting place it just takes me to a floor with offices. Boring. There’s this guy there receiving the visitors and I recognise him as a guy from a Portuguese band called Delfins. (Strangely, it is like the 2nd time this guy appears in my dreams and I’m not a fan or anything.) Maybe because I recognised him and was looking at him fixedly, he thought I was flirting with him and responded the same way. It was funny, but I wasn’t really into it, so I divert from the visitors group – anyway, the visit was dead boring – and left through a door to outside.
I recognised the hill where I ended up, as being the hill behind my old home and neighbourhood, but much more beautiful, with lots of trees with a golden colour of an immense beauty. I walk by it and start descending a stairway that exists (or existed) in the far end of this place, and the dream starts dissolving.

1:59 GMT – 2nd waking

Strange building again
When I go again to sleep I am again in what seems to be the same building. Instead of the stairs I was descending on the outside, I was now descending some stairs and ramps inside that building but once again it didn’t seem interesting. The stairs led once again to a floor with offices. OK, the disposition of the building was interesting, like a labyrinth – it was impossible to go from one defined point to another, the ramps, stairs and elevators always took me to random places that didn’t seem to have an exit at all. That was the case now. The stairs ended in an office and there was no other option. But then I found an elevator and decided to take it.
The elevator took me directly to the middle of a room where all the visitors from the beginning of this dream where all sit together listening to their guide. I decided to sit to. A friend of mine called Joan was there and I sat by his side. He jumped like he had felt an electric shock (that’s how he described it). He hadn’t seen me and was surprised when I sat by his side and he felt a shock. He was really amazed. Maybe he wasn’t a DC but actually sharing the dream with me (I will ask him).

Yacht to an island
The guide then took us all to boats (yachts) and took us to some island nearby. I loved the clear sky and the blue water and the sun shining and grabbed my camera from my bag but was disappointed that it didn’t look like my actual camera. I assumed I had exchanged it accidentally with someone else (another dream sign lost). I couldn't take pictures with this shitty camera and I feel frustrated. Just put it away and enjoy the amazing natural aquatic landscape.

In the middle of a war
But the beautiful fantasy island we were going to revealed to be at war. As soon as we arrived there we heard shots and I saw a group of armed people on the opposite side of a river from where we were. Instead of telling us to run away in the opposite direction, our guide told us to move forward, in the direction of the shots. I thought that was crazy but I didn’t offer much resistance to. I went, but at a certain point we had to get down behind this concrete blocks that could hardly cover us. A shot was fired that passed just in front of my nose and opened a hole in a window by my side. I thought I could have just died! I had a backpack that was then targeted and I felt lots and lots of shots destroying in and it was scary to feel it so close to my body. I really felt close to dying with the bullets, but miraculously I wasn’t shot. We kept going, crawling on the floor but all of a sudden when I thought I was out of danger, a girl appears out of nowhere and starts beating me. She is really decided to kill me. I don’t know her, but I have to defend myself so I fight back. Soon realise she is no match for me and I kick her ass badly. But I don’t want to kill her, so I take her injured to inside this place we’re taking hide out.

A party
Maybe we’re celebrating surviving the shooting (I have no clue), but now I’m inside a house and there’s a party going on. Not a huge party, more a like a funeral celebration actually, but there’s food and drinks. The injured girl is there, looking miserably embarrassed and angry. I go to the kitchen looking for some fruit juice, but can’t find a clean glass to drink or any juice.

??? GMT – 3rd waking

A secret dream
Confidential

Peacock temple and the 12 stages practice
I was somewhere in the middle-east (or so it seemed) and I find this beautiful amazing temple with the shape of a peacock. The façade looks like the feathers of the peacock. I “hear” that here there’s a strange rare cult with a background of deep philosophical roots. I “hear” they do something like the “12 stages of something” practice and that many people from different religions come to pray here and pay homage to their wisdom.

7:00 GMT – Wake up

Morning of October 3, 1976. Sunday.



I travel in a car with good friend Johnny C as the driver (same car he had in real life and this scenario being similar to real life to a point), best friend Toby T, and three girls including Tina L (so I guess the car was apparently crowded but did not seem as such). There is a recurring idea that was very common in dreams of this time period. The idea of moving through time or into “alternate worlds” based on a series of directions alone. I am semi-lucid but not “take full control” lucid, as I did not seem to want to be at this stage, just so I could passively enjoy things.

I am in the back seat on the right side. We are going north at one point. There is the idea that we should stop near my Cubitis home to see how it has changed. We decide to make my house the main destination through different “alternate worlds” or “alternate times”.

Upon our first stop, we find the house has changed into a laboratory but it has seemingly been abandoned. I see a beautiful painting on the east wall in my room that shows strange birds. They look like ordinary birds except that they have “sideways beaks” that I realize are exactly like the mandibles of a stag beetle. I feel a very strange awareness upon seeing this, an unusual feeling I cannot quite relate. I also notice a few pinned-up diagrams and scattered papers with various complex equations sitting on a desk. For some reason, I think of them as “byrds” with understanding of the different spelling.

We leave and come back into a different “time”. This time the place does not seem abandoned and one man is there to say that we are allowed to look around but not to touch anything. Going onto the carport, we see cages on the left. There are about three larger cages with strange creatures in them. One is like a peacock with snakelike features and it hisses and “strikes” at us but only succeeds in hitting the bars. I notice that our chicken shed is still there but built up a bit.

Once again, we leave and “come back”. This time, the house is abandoned again. We look around and mostly only find dusty ground and rusty pieces of metal. As there is not much to see, Toby T suggests going “as far as possible”. Johnny C seems hesitant, but we are on our way.

There is a strange sensation of moving very swiftly. We seem to be thousands of years in the future. We look out and see a strange sight. The house is very different (or likely a different building) and there are some strange creatures. It seems a “mother creature” is communicating with her “son”, who is standing near an upper-section-opened Dutch door to what looks somewhat like a barn (upper half open). They are somewhat human in form, but also a bit more like mostly white, living ceramic chickens with a Chinese appearance and with very small but defined simple geometric patterns (in mostly red and black) all over the large heads and smaller thinner bodies. They are making a sort of higher-pitched crunching noise to communicate by moving their “beaks” which is not really a beak but like some sort of small sliding door that varies in sound to how far it is open at any given time. The “mother” is somewhat wary of us, which is why she wants to get her “son” (about half as tall as “her”) and go inside.

We decide to go back. However, we end up taking a wrong turn, it seems (seemingly based on something Toby said), as the car goes flying westerly over an embankment and into Lettuce Lake. We all escape, but Johnny is annoyed at having lost his car. (There is also an idea that the land features may have changed when traveling through different time periods rather than solely misdirection.)

Notes on the bird relevance in this dream: Firstly, the living ceramic chicken (somewhat anthropomorphic) in this dream is perceived as being an incarnation of me (as the dreamer) at the “end of time”. It is curious how it is near the Dutch door. As a door represents the waking point (or shift in awareness), but here has only the top half open, it is a very curious reference to a false awakening (as well as a seeming invitation to be above as opposed to below - possibly suggesting rising from the end of the dream rather than the usual “falling”), which does occur, but still with continuation of seemingly the “same” dream. (Johnny’s car ends up in the water, which, even though water is often induction, is more relative to the “falling” waking transition here.)

Addressing the two other odd bird forms here, the serpentine peacock that hisses from the cage is a form of “captured flight” (restricted emotional, sexual, or spiritual freedom in the dream state). Even though the dream is very vivid, I do not become viably lucid. It may also be an association from when I heard that people thought that a peacock feather was an “evil eye” which may be linked to the fact that the peacock also had snakelike aspects. This of course is an absurd idea that I never considered as having any merit, but dreams utilize anything and everything (including the nonsensical beliefs of humanity) to teach viable focus and discernment. The other odd distortion, a painting of flying birds (which may otherwise be implied to be sparrows) with the sideways “beaks” (mandibles) of stag beetles, is relevant to the greater understanding of dream composites in general. The fact that these flying birds and beetle composites are only in a painting is a giveaway relating to the two other nonflying bird symbols and the failure to become lucid or resolve the concept of freedom. My dream self is not able to resolve why these birds are “wrong” either, only that they are somehow unusual. I even think of them as “byrds” rather than “birds” while in the dream state.