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I woke up by myself 8 am and thought about going up because I've gotten my 8 hours sleep. I wanted to get a lucid and know that I easily get lucids when I resleep in the morning.

I'm in church and go sit on a chair 2 meters fromt the main entrance. I'm playing nonogram and there are some people playing a game and running in front of me. Linda from my class approaches me and wonders where I got my socks from. I notice that I have a pair of my Happy Socks on me. I tell her that Elina (?) gave me them. She says that she got her's from Elina too. She walks away awkwardly and I think it is weird of me to have my phone and playing nonogram.

Notes: I had a dream earlier about Elina but don't quite remember it.

I'm by Hemköp and walking home. I see a chair on the ground with wheels on it. I take it and keep on walking home. By the slope I sit on the chair and ride on. The chair is spinning counter clockwise. I meet Albin and say hi to him. I start wondering if this is a dream but I wake up.

I lie in bed and decide to walk up. I just woke up and I'm in church. My pants are dirty and I wonder how I'm supposed to get home to school, I don't remember how I got here . My arms and hands are white and I know it's a dream. I do my RC. Yep I can breathe even though I pinch my nose. I start to fly away and notice how I don't have full control. I see a man walking the street and I want to test something. I imagine that I have a rope and pull him in. He starts to do weird motions but not accordingly to how I do it. I fly away in search for something fun. I find a house and walk in through the window. I meet a man and I ask him where his family is. He says that they are in the dark room upstairs. I walk up and open the door. It is pitch black and my vision is gone. I think about how I am going to wake up if I don't do anything. I imagine how I grab the wall and walk down the stairs again. My vision is still gone but I have a small sense on my hands against the wall. I try to open my eyes gradually and it is a success. I walk to the outer door. The man from before greets me and the sheriff enters. They talk a while about how everyone has guns and the houseowner jokes to the sheriff that it is because he is so bad with guns that everyone else needs guns by themselves. The house owner talks about how much the clock is and I tell him that he doesn't need to worry. The clock is 10 am in the waking world I tell him. He doesn't reply to this. I fly on and look into different houses. There are dogs in all the houses. The dogs have some sort of bad aura over them. I walk into different houses and see some families. I keep on flying and come to a spooky house. I fly through a window and notice that there are many children there. They are having some kind of spooky party. I fly to the back of the house and exit through a window. There is a flying witch there. I show of how good I am at flying and think that she is only using a thread or something fake. I fly back to the house and see some kids again. They jump over a hinder to come to the next floor. A boy, about 6 years old, throws a big wooden wheel at a small girl and she starts to cry. She runs to me and hold my hand. She drags my hand as if she wants me to carry her and so I do. I carry her and feel a bit stressed out at first because I haven't done anything really fun in my lucid but feel comfort in comforting this little girl.

Notes: I didn't have that much control over the dream but it's okay. I haven't had a lucid in a long time. I read How to Kill a Mockingbird and studied the chapter with the sheriff yesterday. I woke up 08.55 am so I was actually wrong when I told him the clock was 10 am.

More catching up.

29th August 2020

~9:00

Dream:

Playing TF2 as Demo, don't remember for which team. Had the pipe bomb launcher, an RPG-7 too, but looked like the HL1 launcher...

Later on in the dream, after a very slim win of the match, by kills score alone (would have been a draw otherwise), I am walking around with old classmates. Unusually, I feel tired in the dream. Then I think about covid, and how we aren't wearing any masks or anything. I remember a concrete building I'm in? Lots of staircases maybe. But well lit, overall, high ceilings too.

The place outside looks like L. I walked out of some lobby place? I start to feel uncomfortable being so close to everyone else (because of covid), but nobody else seems to care.

As we're going down some cobbled steps, I notice a uniforms shop. The stairs are very wide and go down quite a distance, but this seems typical of L. The logo reminds me of UPS, same colour scheme but not shape? I think to myself "I can buy a labcoat there, later", having some follow-up feelings about not wanting to have classmates around me for that. But unfortunately, despite my very clear dream sign thought, I didn't remember to do a RC, I think because I didn't see a visual cue of the DS advertised or on display at the shop.

(relating to the feelings) I remember thinking that I didn't want to go in now since my classmates were around and I'd feel embarrassed. But I also think about how the shop looks closed anyway. Cloudy day? But not overcast?

Then further down along the stairs or whatever, on the left, there's a pair of black and bearded/old vagabonds, one having a cane or long stick. I think I woke up after this while still going down the cobble steps of the stairway. I remember a (typical) long green railing in the middle, but I think this colour isn't used anymore actually.

At the bottom of all the steps was a road cornering from the left to straight ahead, in terms relative to my own position. Squareish building on the bend across the road? Maybe quay or dock area further along. Visual recall is too poor after over a week since the dream now.

~9:12?

Trying to fall asleep again as WBTB. Slideshow of 80s style VANS shoes advert? No visual recall of this anymore.

~10:40

Fragment:

Return to the first dream theme, was with old classmates again. Sausage rolls and other such typical pastries. No visual recall that I can gather.

---

Notes:
- Although I didn't realise it, I suppose there's a semi-direct link between uniforms and TF2. I thought it was curious that TF2 showed up in dreaming, since I haven't played it for years, though I have had passing thoughts of it recently.
- Covid didn't start featuring in my dreams at all until recently, but I'm not entirely sure why yet.
- The thoughts about my artificial DS would have been enough to prompt a RC in waking life.
- The appearance of one of the vagabonds (to my recall) makes me think of some vagabond in the Matrix? Or some other stereotype appearance.
- Old classmates have been reappearing a fair bit lately, it had become an uncommon DS for a while but seems to be getting common again. Need to re-think about significance for waking life purposes.

Sitting and talking to a girl. She has a picture that she shows me. It has me, her, my sister and another girl when we were younger.

Next to me, Randy (an old classmate) wants to see, but the girl won’t show him for a while.

Then we’re telling stories of how we were child stars. I was a voice actress for some anime.

Something about climbing some ladders to prove something.

Asking her if she remembered a show with something in it. (Kamen Rider-like)

Sailor Moon’s VA sounding really high-pitched as she VAs this char.

I go find a stack of old things to show off, but there’s not much and I think the other girl did more work than me.

I'm in a room that looks like a cross between a waiting room (at the doctor's) and a hotel lobby. A DC is wearing a wool trenchcoat, and decides to give it to me.

Later, I am at my old elementary school, where there seems to be an open house night. The kids from my classes all comment on my trenchcoat (which I'm still wearing)

I'm still wearing the trenchcoat when I get into my dad's truck to go to a store. When we get there, I am no longer wearing the coat, and the parking lot is crowded with mothers and their babies. I can see a few mothers who are carrying at least 4 or 5 babies in snugglies (baby backpacks). The wierdest thing is that in another area of the parking lot, the babies and mothers appear to be having a dance party.

First I was in our university. then I found myself somewhere that a familiar man was speaking for my old friends. I was beside that man. The man asked me to sit down beside my friends. I done this. That man asked us to write something. I doesn't know what he want. So I asked my friend.

26.04.2011

No Big Get-Off (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

*Sexually explicit (though rather clinical, lol. No big get-off to be had here :p)
*Rough draft

Visuals took over my meditation. I wasn’t that tired, this has been happening lately. I want to research this. It kind of feels like falling asleep but sometimes I’m aware of my body and the binaural water sounds I’m listening to as well. Maybe sleep paralysis? I really should read up.

Walking in my home
I used to live with a man here but I broke up with him, I think
I see some items that are colorful, 3 that go together
I'm in the bed we used to sleep in together. I lay around a bit. At one point looking out the large window and the white light barely tinted with blue.

I decide to give head to myself
Wondering if I’d like the taste
The taste wasn’t very obvious; it was fine
I want to try different things
I’m reacting to it and can feel it at the same time
I see my hips lift, but I feel like I'm laying below myself at the same time with my head between my legs, of course. :p
It was pretty clinical. I was figuring out my anatomy and pleasure reactions more than really trying to get off.
Kinda tentative at first
Licking it feels nice but too general
Sucking on my clit is pretty pleasurable I think
Pressing my chin onto it
The general pressure feels very good, like I could eventually cum like that
Hips lifting in reaction to the pleasure I’m giving myself
Pressing hard makes my chin and pubic bone pretty sore, but my clit is happy. I stop the chin method
grazing my teeth against my clit feels like a bit of a stab of pleasure, a bit too intense but a nice “jump start” to be used occasionally
Nibbling my clit with my teeth feels too sharp

A man comes over and we’re going to a concert together, some alternative rock group I used to like pretty well in high school but wasn’t that crazy about

Got into the car with one of the guys who came to my house, we’re driving together. I’m driving, and the other guy has another car. He is a bit surly. We go to the corner convenience store. Something somewhat significant happens inside (with the man at the counter? I was watching through the window?)

I remember I have to get something for the concert, a set of 3 items that pertain to the band. The items are important. One was a kind of book. They were like a key to something and would be recognized (by the band?). The surly guy was annoyed. I brushed his annoyance off.

We had time, there would be an opening band, I imagined and told the guy in my car. He agreed and said something about me being on top of the planning. I questioned that I was, thinking I had procrastinated and that I was lucky there is probably an opening band which I hadn’t taken into account before. I thought that if there wasn’t an opening band we’d be late.

Driving into my old small curved driveway (where I lived in waking life in high school). When entering it I focus on its small entrance and how it is pretty awkward to veer into it but I do. A tree has overgrown but I pull up enough for the guy in the car behind to have easier access to the house's door as well. The tree’s branches come into the window and they’re more solid than I’d thought. They kinda hurt and I wonder about being able to open the door.

I had the 3 items I think, got to the concert, there are different rooms/areas
The concert hasn’t started in the main, larger area. The opening group will play in a smaller room that we go to. There are chain link fences. I sit on the bleachers. I am alone, the man has gone off somewhere and will come back and I think the surly guy left a bit before that.

Old school, old teacher, Claudia and another
Claudia was being strict about the students sitting in rows of two. Katie, a student, kept sitting where she wanted over and over. Claudia kept correcting/directing her. Katie seemed like she was somewhat unconscious of her actions, and also quietly (subconsciously, perhaps) angry and dismissing, like she was telling them to leave her the hell alone silently.

I didn’t have a very good seat. I'm in the section to the side of the area where the students were sitting. The other teacher (Leigh?) called my name as if I was still a student. I knew it was a better seat and she gave me a look like she knew I wasn’t supposed to be grouped with them but she was going to pretend she didn’t and make an exception so I could have a better seat. After a couple moments’ hesitation I stood, picked up my backpack and another item, and went to go sit there. Claudia noticed and said something. The other teacher gave a vague argument about why I should be fine sitting there. Claudia was strict, enforced the rules. Leigh gave me a subtly exasperated look mixed with a c'est la vie look about Claudia. I kinda shrugged and sat back down and felt a little embarrassed in front of the students.

I saw a man I had dream memories of. We had been around each other regularly. He was like Adam (a man who had been a gay porn star I used to be friendly with in waking life. We always had a fun time, joking and being silly and also emotionally and physically affectionate. He had one of those vibrant, open personalities that didn’t seem needy, more just loving. He did little things, like when I was a waitress and had been serving him and his life partner, he poked his head into the back of the restaurant where I was making espressos and handed me the folded-up tip all furtive-like. He whispered matter-of-factly, “thanks for the blowjob.”, turned, and went back to his table. Leaving me cracking up. Very deadpan and playful at the same time, so much fun.) So, this dream character had the spirit of Adam and looked like Ozzy Osbourne (they are a bit similar in looks in some ways in waking life).

I recalled dream memories of being around him daily because of people we were friends with. They seemed rich and extravagant. He and I would peripherally interact in these memories and there was a sadness there too, like we were sad we had a lot of distance between us. When I saw him at the concert, he was guarded emotionally. I initiated talking with him and he was hesitant. I told him I miss seeing him every day. He started to warm up and we linked arms and walked as we talked. He was surprised I missed him, saying “you did?” and I could feel him melting. I reaffirmed that I did. He warmed up a little more and invited me on a skiing trip and started to name-drop a bit about people who would be there (in real life he spent time and was close to famous people and he, or at least they, tended to like to name drop). It felt kinda cold and superficial, but I was excited at the prospect of going at the same time.

Our walking took us down, into what felt like the basement/garage of this amphitheater. He wanted to show it to me.

annoyed at waste, men working

Trenches for planks of wood, band members one of whom was shooting up

I’m outdoors, walking on a long balcony. Men to my left in rooms working on projects (with saws and whatnot…you know, picking up heavy objects and putting them back down) My thumb caught on a round electric saw attached to and hanging over the balcony’s railing. The tooth of the saw was slightly deformed and it was caught on my thumb without scraping much. I carefully extract my thumb so as not to cut myself more and reflect on that. The saw feels like it almost has a hold on it.There is some pain.

Grey’s anatomy short black doctor woman "Nazi" and another familiar but not famous woman had been trying to flag me down before then with some papers she wanted me to sign. I had seen but had been doing some other things. She expressed annoyance. I held my boundaries and stayed good natured.The solid short woman took my thumb; it was bleeding. Her finger came close to touching the cut/scrape like she was fascinated. I pulled it away before she could touch it and was like, don’t touch it! Um, aren’t you like a doctor? She kinda shrugged and looked to the side.

I felt emotionally strong in this dream
Another man (a doctor?) asks me out. I wasn’t expecting him too. I felt comfortable and wanted him to. He was kind of constrained but I understood why.

Cousin, aunt/CJ/Diane Hamilton interruption of me and the man.

At that point I lost the sense of emotional expression balanced with a calm and acceptance stance toward my emotions that held their intensity in check without trying to. I got angry and quiet.

Woke breathing hard, angry…with Charles in Charge theme song going through my mind, lmao. It is still being sung in my mind as I write this. Joy…*crazy face*

Oh, and my thumb still kind of hurts. When I picked up my laptop to write this the pressure and roughness of the cushion exacerbated the pain a bit.

-In line at the grocery store with my girlfriend when old high school classmates recognize me and are surprised with how much I've changed.

-Girlfriend tells me that she's leaving to the Caribbean on a school trip. I tell her that I'm going to the same destination as well because of work but she doesn't believe me. While we are arguing, I get an important call I've been waiting for but decide to ignore it.

I talk to my mom about my problems and she informs me that I'm half African American.

I get frustrated with girlfriend and start talking to other girls while I'm at the airport.

For some reason, my high school classmates, my girlfriend and I get driven to the airplane in a limo.

The flight assistant tries to forcefully rush me inside of the plane causing me to drop my items. I get extremely mad and yell at him untill he focuses his attention on someone else.

Once I've boarded the plane, I sit down next to my girlfriend and classmates in a "movie theater" style cockpit.

My dream suddenly turns into a narration as I realize that I was writing a question about my love life on a relationship forum.