I had the car dream set at granddads house again last night for the second night in a row. Like the dream I had the night before, it was really physically and emotionally uncomfortable. In the dream last night, mom was also really snippy and controlling. When mom told me to go ahead and get in granddads car and buckle to the front middle seat, as soon as I tried to argue about sitting in the middle and getting in the car before she was ready to go she snapped at me and told me that I could either get in the car and buckle in the middle of the front seat or I would be grounded. When mom finally got in the car and was trying to get it started after my sister and I had to wait for her for what felt like forever, she kept getting in my face and telling me that I needed to calm down. I never even said anything to her before she started telling me to calm down. When she discovered I stepped in dog poop, she screamed at me about not watching where I was stepping and not checking my shoe when I noticed the car stunk. She told me to give her my shoe so she could clean it and for me to stay buckled in my seat. After the battery went dead after she got back in, as I was asking if I could get out she snapped at me again and told me that me and my sister needed to stay in the car. I woke-up from the dream while she was looking for a jump start. Not sure why she was so snippy and controlling in this dream, but it made me fell even more uncomfortable.
I had a new dream last night involving riding between my mom and my sister. In this dream, it was June 1998, the summer after my freshman year in college when I was 19 years old. In this dream, my mom borrowed my uncles 1980’s white Mazda pickup truck so we could go to Home Depot to get a new grill for our dad for Father’s Day. The dream was very vivid. When the dream starts, we are getting ready to leave the house to go to Home Depot. When mom sees that I am ready to go, she suggests that I go on out and get in the truck. She reminds me that I will be riding in the middle since it is an even day and my sister has chosen to sit by the window. I try to argue with mom about this since my sister is younger and shorter than me and could get by in the middle better. I tell mom that I will just follow them in my Jeep, but she says that she really wants the 3 of us ride together in the truck. I look outside and see the truck is also parked behind my Jeep and know I am stuck riding in the middle of the truck since it is blocking my Jeep in. When mom again asks me to go on out to the truck, I reluctantly walk outside and towards to small white Mazda pick-up that is parked behind my Jeep in the driveway. When I get to the passenger side door, I open it and take a seat on the light brown vinyl bench seat. I close the door and then slowly slide over to the middle seat where I will have the sit. It is a summer day and the vinyl seat is kind of hot of my legs. The middle seat is really uncomfortable since I have to put my feet on a hump and straddle the stick shift while my knees bump against the a/c controls. Since I am by myself in the truck, I decide to move back to the passenger seat since there is no point sitting in the middle when I am in the truck by myself. I go ahead and buckle the shoulder belt hoping my sister will just climb over me and get in the middle if I am already in the passenger seat. After a minute of two in the truck, in noticed that the cab stinks and is starting to get hot so I turn the brown cranks to roll down the windows. Soon fresh air is coming in cooling off the cab and making things smell better. After I have been waiting in the truck about 5 minutes, I see my sister walking out of the house and towards the truck. She is wearing a white graphic t-shit, light blue bell bottom jeans, and tan wedge sandals. When she gets to the passenger side door and opens it up and tells me to scoot over because I am riding in the middle. I reluctantly undo my seat belt and move again to the uncomfortable middle seat. She suggests I go ahead and buckle-up. I tell her I will buckle when mom get in. She reminds me that I need to go ahead and buckle before she gets in since she will be sitting over my buckle. I reluctantly put the brown lap belt around my waist and then my sister gets into the passenger seat beside me. I have to lean towards the driver’s seat so that my sister can get her seatbelt in the buckle. While we wait for mom, we are wedged-up against each other. My feet are both on the brown hump in the middle with my knees bumping up against the a/c controls and my legs straddling the stick shift. Not long after she gets in, she also notices the cab smells bad. I am now noticing the strong smell of her vanilla body spray and her breath which stinks. My nose is now being tortured between the smell of the cab, my sisters body spray, and her breath. I am not enjoying waiting for mom. My sister keeps invading my space, putting her head on my shoulder, smiling at me, and breathing in my face. I cannot get away from her and just want mom to come on out so we can get to Home Depot and back home. Mom finally is locking-up the house about 15-20 minutes after my sister got in the truck. She opens the driver’s side door and sits down in the empty driver’s seat. As soon as she is in her seat and has closed her door her body is wedge-up against my left side like my sister is wedged up against my right. I am officially squished between them with no personal space. As mom is putting the key in the ignition, she also comments that something smells bad. I tell her the truck smelled when I got in. While she is talking, I notice her breath is worse than my sisters. It takes mom a few minutes of turning the key and pumping on the accelerator before she gets the truck started. One it starts, she reaches for the shifter between my legs and shifts it to reverse. The drive to Home Depot lasts about 15 minutes and is not very pleasant. I am wedged between my mom and sister with no personal space. I can smell their breath whenever they talk and sometimes my sister is putting her head on my shoulder because she knows it annoys me. I just hope that no-one I know will see my riding between my mom and sister in my uncles’ crappy old truck. When we are parked at Home Depot, my sister opens the passenger side door and she and then I get out of the truck. It feels great to finally have some personal space again. As we are walking through the parking lot, mom tells me I should check my shoe because it looks like I stepped in something. I look get to a traffic island and see that I have stepped in a big pile of dog poop and that is what I was smelling in the truck. I spend a few minutes trying to clean my shoe on the gravel in the traffic island and then head into Home Depot and meet-up with my mom and sister in front of the grills. By the time I get to them, they have already picked-out the grill they want to get for him. There is another gill I think dad would like better, but they have already made their mind up and overrule me. We wait a while for an employee to come and get the large box for the grill we want down form an upper shelf and then put it on a flat shopping cart. I want to go look around, but mom wants me to stay with them so we will be ready to leave once we get the grill. Once the grill is on the shopping cart, we wait for a while in the check-out line since the store is crowded. Again, I want to look around, but mom wants me to stay with them. We finally get checked out and then leave the store and head back towards the truck. Once we get back to the truck, it takes both me and my sister to get the grill from the flat orange shopping cart to the bed of the truck. When we have it loaded, I see that mom has already unlocked and opened the passenger side door. I offer to take the cart back to the store, but mom says she will handle since I need to get in the truck first since I am in the middle. My sister is ready to get in and so I have to go ahead and get in the truck and slide over to the middle seat. As soon as I am buckled, she gets into the passenger seat and closed the door. I am thankful that the truck doesn’t smell as bad as it did earlier, and I did not track any dog poop into it. My sister and I have to wait for a few minutes because mom sees some she knows and is talking to them. I am thankful it is not someone I recognize. While we wait for mom, my sister is invading my space again and breathing in my face. Mom eventually gets in and gets the truck started after just a few cranks. The drive back is as unpleasant as the ride over was with both of them invading my space and breathing in my face. On the way home, mom stops at a gas station because she wants to return the truck to my uncle with a full tank. I offer to get out and pump the gas but end up being stuck waiting in the truck with my sister because she doesn’t want to get out. We have to wait for around 10 minutes while mom pumps the gas and then goes in to pay and my sister keeps putting her head on my shoulder again and breathing in my face. When mom gets back in, the truck starts right up, and we drive back home. When we get back home, my sister and I have to get the grill out of the back of the truck and then carry it to my dads’ workshop in the back yard while mom gets a sheet to cover it with. The grill is heavy, and we have to stop and take a few breaks between the truck and the tool shed. The dream ends when I get back to the house and lay down on the couch in the family room to watch TV. I am very happy to finally have my own space and not be stuck between them.
Last night, I had a dream where I was in the living room of my old house. It was dark and shadowy, the stairway and kitchen entrance fading into pitch black. I wasn't at all put off by this at the time, but in retrospect, it was a rather creepy, horror game type lighting. As with all of my lucid dreams, I got a random inkling that I was dreaming. I plugged my nose and sure enough I could still breathe and was indeed dreaming. Alright, time to get down business. I tried to summon someone. I envisioned her appearing; nothing happened. I called her name; nothing. "Oh right," I thought to myself, "I need to focus and be aware." I plugged my nose once more and checked out my hands to reaffirm that I was dreaming; could still breathe, and my fingers were deformed. Then I took time to be aware of myself and my surroundings. Then, I once again attempted to summon my friend. I called out, looking around, envisioning her coming down the stairs. Nothing. No matter how many times I tried, nothing happened. In fact, nothing whatsoever was happening. It was just me in this pseudo-horror room. Eventually I woke up without accomplishing anything. I don't have lucid dreams often (as I mentioned, I've only ever gotten them randomly, never by induction methods), but this sort of thing has happened with the last few I've had. I've had almost no control these past few lucids, even though I've had little trouble controlling them in the past when I didn't even bother trying to ground myself. I think it lasted longer than most of my lucids though.
#383 - DILD - 12:45AM A large dose of Yohimbe Bark late in the morning, some melatonin to fight the lasting insomnia, and watching Lucy movie may have helped this LD along. It was a little after 11pm when I last looked at the clock and I had multiple awakenings all night. Most of my non lucids where boring and I found myself contemplating the movie in dream several times. I was previously lucid from something about the movie. I ended up losing lucidity for awhile and I forgot all of the first part. I have been chasing after someone or something and I eventually stop becoming introspective once again. I remember that I was lucid and come back to it once more. I look at my hands and the environment around me. My hands look pretty normal with a hint of dream quality. I realize I am on a hillside at night. I search my mind for a few of my goals. First I recall wanting to have an XCOM dream. I summon a rifle and hear distant marching as I move forward. I search for aliens to shoot but when I look down I see I have no rifle. Ugh. Try something else. I recall wanting to try some of the things Lucy did in the movie but I am distracted by a super huge moon at the top of the hill. I run forward but have difficulty finding my footing. I look down and back up and see the moon is gone but there is a large dark sphere at the top of the hill now. I see a silhouette of a man in a cockpit at one part of the sphere. I remember to try CL's pinch zoom to get a better look but it doesn't work. I feel silly making motions in the air and give that one up too. The I remember once again Lucy. I try to slap away the sphere and make time past to day time. Doesn't work. Then I try I teleport like she did an surge forward. The dream goes dark. I wake up and look at the clock. The time is clear and says 11:30pm. I am really surprised at this and guess I must have fallen straight into a dream. The room lights up and I see all the sheets are gone. I look over and see the woman version of The Master wearing her stupid hat and in some kinky red lingerie. She's droning on something but all I can say is, "Wow the sheets are gone!" I wake up. My she's ugly.
Soooooo......they say to write down your dreams because you will see similarities and be able to realize the difference between reality and dreaming. So far though my dreams are so random always in places I don't recognize or so off the wall it makes no sense what my mind is thinking........not sure what I can do to help tame my wild imagination??
Night of 4/15/14 Dream 1: (I've been watching 30 rock) fragments: there was a meeting with liz miss mahoney was wearing a bra that shot out sparks (not electrical, like fireworks) Dream 2: In a cafeteria My lunch is ruined- i left it on a table and someone sabotaged it a friendly lunch man makes me more lunch and makes sure it is very satisfactory I see a girl im into close friend decides to go for her instead Dream 3: bible school (childhood trauma, what?) really boring ***** went into some sort of FPS mode everybody was shooting at each other I was shootin up fools water surrounding a tower inside, it was dark Went outside, FPS mode gone ***** Went into different inside area, can't remember how I got there *Usually when I go lucid i say out loud that it is a dream* *In this case I just felt kinda lucid* *Felt strange transitioning into lucidity, like there was little change* ***** was in a building with church people I wanted to sex up a girl People would always invade space. There was very little control I tried to build a wall and door with a closed door failed They said if I wanted to have sex it would need to be with a family member I loose control over the dream, (who wouldn't in that scenario?) *****
In this dream I realized I was dreaming by questioning the cobweb on my pillow (I had just 'woken up' in the dream), and strange bugs that seemed to make their home on my fingernails . I almost did the nose reality check (holding your nose closed and seeing if you can still breathe) but then realized that there was no way in hell I'm putting those bugs up to my face. I walked out of my room, completely forgot about the bugs, and performed the reality check, which resulted in lucidity. There was a shock in the dream world, similar to an earthquake, along with a purple energy wave. I was the epicenter of both of these. I stumbled from the earthquake and found myself down the hallway near my brother's room. He was sitting up in bed with an awestruck expression on his face. I assumed he somehow knew I just became lucid. I excitedly told him this is a dream, and left before I could see his reaction. I remembered that I wanted to teleport, so I thought of a random location, closed my eyes, and attempted to teleport. It didn't work, so I tried spinning, which also failed. Then, I rubbed my hands together to make sure the dream wouldn't destabilize. I walked down the hall into the entryway. I saw my dad, and thought that it couldn't hurt to ask him if he knew how to teleport. I asked him, but was only given the response that could have easily been from somebody on an intense acid trip. He then pointed to the front door, which gave me the idea to teleport by walking through the door to where I want to go. On the way to the door, my dad tripped me, which didn't hurt, but made me laugh because in real life, he is an intelligent, normal person. I walked through the door, and forgot that I was supposed to use it to teleport. This is the second time in this dream that I walked through a doorway, and forgot something random. I ended up walking through the front door into the backyard. Since I was lucid, you would think I would have noticed something, but I didn't. I walked past my mom, who was worrying about the hornet nest in the backyard. Immediately after that, I felt something crawl on my foot. Not wanting to turn this into a bad experience, I forced myself to think about teleporting. I kneeled down and started to open a portal on the ground for me to jump into, but just as I was opening it, I woke up..
Was planning on heading to the 'mayan pyramid' but woke up in a barricaded house (planks of wood nailed over the windows/doors) and couldn't just magick my way out. Zombies were attacking from the outside and eventually got in, tried to wake myself up by closing my eyes but no joy. Ended up getting my innards torn out and having chunks taken out of me, lots of pain, hope I never find out how realistic the sensations were. Made a point of not screaming.
Pre-dream: After my datura nightmare I had in my nap during the day, I decided to not take anymore datura for a few days but thought I'd try some more valerian tea before bed in hopes to improve recall and/or vividness of my dreams. I made some tea, and yes it's indeed as stinky as people say it is, I wouldn't say "sweaty gym socks" but it's definitely pungent and isn't exactly a nice smell. I put in some sleepy time tea into it as well and this easily covered the scent and taste. I fell asleep after a bit of tossing and turning and had a few random dreams through the night but only remembered the last. Dream: I found myself in the driver's seat of a car, my mom in the passenger seat, and an old family friend in the backseat with his son. For some reason I was driving his car because he couldn't and my mom was constantly telling me how to drive and being overly cautious of everything I'd do, as always whenever she is in a car with me. I couldn't figure out where we were going, they wouldn't tell me, so I just focused on driving and realized how dark it was. Suddenly I realize the car is going very fast and my mom keeps telling me to slow down, but I tell her I can't. I couldn't hit the brakes and we were going uphill very very fast, it felt like some 80-90mph. Everyone starts freaking out but I tell them to calm down, I just have to find the brakes. The family friend in the back tells me to turn on the high beams of the car because we couldn't see anything ahead of us and there were no cars in sight, it felt like we'd gone off road and I had the sense we were up on a canyon. The more they panicked the more I found it hard to focus on finding the brakes and turning on the lights and the speed of the vehicle kept escalating as we were reaching the horizon of this hill. Before I knew it we had gone too far and there was nothing I could do. I felt the lift of the car no longer touching the floor and we were now flying off a cliff at roughly 100mph. The view from the front seat, now that we were in free fall, looked like we were just dropped out of a plane and we could see tiny cities down below and it looked like it'd take minutes before we got there. No one said a word but there was this strange calm, since we knew we were about to die. My mom pointed out to the city down below and said "Pretty, isn't it?" and I just grabbed her hand and said "I love you mom." I couldn't think of anything else to say... I mean what do you say when you're about to die? Then the car disintegrated into small particles, followed by my mom and the family friend and his child, I was now free falling by myself getting nearer and nearer to my death. But as I arrived closer to the floor I saw reflections of the starry sky in a river outside of the city, and then I fell into it and realized I was now in space. I saw strange fractal luminous crystalline buildings that reflected stars all around it. Although a pretty piece of art in it's own right, what i saw in the dream was so much more breath taking. it was also much darker as if i was in space, still it was something like these buildings. Everything was glowing and absolutely beautiful. I thought I had died and ended up in some strange astral realm or heaven, but realized I was still falling, I was no longer scared and I embraced it. After some more free falling I eventually woke up and was amazed at the detail and memory recall I had. I was in total awe of the sights I had seen and in retrospect I've never seen such a beautiful sight in my dreams alone, I'm very convinced these visions were shown to me by the valerian root tea and I look forward to future journeys with it.
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