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I have no time to proof read so I know there are huge typos. I apologize and will edit later. I just never have enough time anymore.

I started with MILD but was having difficulty visualizing. Switched to mantra for a bit then only a few cycles of SSILD.


#190 - 3:30AM - SSILD/WILD - 1 of 2

I feel the familiar feeling of transition like a chemical change in my mind. I am in total SP and there are zero vibrations. I can't move or transition out of body. I try Monroe's 180 method but it feels like I just rolled over on my face. I know this is a false sensation. I try rolling but at a moderate speed. Every time I spin I hear a mechanical roaring. I pause, spin again, pause, then try rolling out and through the walls of the house. I feel like I roll out into the backyard and circle round back to my bed. I wait a bit and get into some resemblance of a lying down lotus position and meditate with the mantra, "I am dreaming. I am lucid when I dream." I clear my mind and relax into the SP. After a moment or two I slow bring my feet out to touch the floor. Now I am standing but completely blind. I slowly open my eyes and see the bed room door. I am back in bed. I transition again and blindly continue into the living room. I pause and try to stabilize by feeling the floor. It's not helping my blindness so I just continue on outside. I feel cool air on my skin as I walk into the street. I continue walking and peering into the darkness waiting for the dream to form.

Suddenly, I am walking with a group of men my age and younger. I am lucid but I lose control a little and get swept up in the dream. It feels like HI and a little disconnected but I am controlling the flow. I become excited and yell out. I see several cars parked near a short rock fence. I hop over it and run towards a two door red convertible. I yell out, "Shotgun!" and hop into the passenger side. A couple of guy were following behind me with the same idea. One jumped on top of me and the other almost landed on the other guy but corrected himself to jump in the back seat. Darkness.

The dream becomes more vivid now and we are riding down a highway. I feel the wind on my face and lean out over the door. There are pine or cedar tress on either side of us. I whoop, holler and howl, listening to the dreamy distortion of my voice. I say, "You know what guys? We should get real crazy. Let's go rob someone." I look over at the driver for the first time and notice that he looks like a 1950's greaser. I don't find this strange at all as I wait for him to reply. He doesn't. He just continues to drive not looking at me or saying a word. He is expressionless in every way. This gives me pause and pull in my craziness for a moment. I think about my goal of finding NyxCC. I wonder where she is and how to get there from this point.

I stare straight ahead down and endless highway surrounded by a starless empty void. Suddenly one of the guys in the back yells out, "Reno, Nevada!" At the instant a strange tombstone shaped building with a huge neon sign in front of it materializes before my eyes with a burst of energy. I see tendrils of electricity cascade down the building and fade away. For a moment I am mesmerize as I have never experienced this in a dream before. I recover quickly and say to the driver, "Is that were Nyx lives? Reno Nevada?" He just shrugs in reply never looking at me. I accept that we are somehow in Reno, Nevada now. "You know were she lives? Can you take me there?" The driver nods and we make a right turn into a residential area. The night is extra dark save for a few houses with porch lights. Not wanting to get sucked into darkness, I point at well lit house. "Is that it?" The driver nods but takes me to the house next to it.

I get out and there is a strange garage like building shaped like an old hotrod with flames painted on the side. I get out of the car and walk to the car-building feeling unsure. When I open the door there is only darkness inside. I reach inside and slap around until I hit a light switch. It's just a hollow cream colored tube.

I turn around and see a house with red painted siding only about 10 or so feet away. I enter the front door and see a small cozy living room with a lamp and cough and tv set. The floors are hardwood and the room is fully furnished. I don't linger or pay any attention to the room. There is a door across the room and I enter.

The bedroom lights up as I enter but the light is very dim. I look up and see a square shaped light fixture. There is a small child like young woman asleep in here bed. I move over and sit on the edge of the bed. I shake her a bit saying, "Nyx, wake up." She looks confused for a moment and sits up. I notice she has shoulder length light brown to dirty blond hair and she is wearing something white. But I try to focus on her face to see what she looks like. It's a little blurry but I get a good enough look. I focus mostly on her nose. It's sort of button like and celestial shaped. I say, "Wake up! You are dreaming. This is a dream." She smiles pleasantly but looks a little confused still. I continue, "I'm Xanous... from dream views." I smile, "Hi." Comprehension dawns on her face and she seems a little embarrassed. I am not sure but I think I said, "Are you Nyx?" She nods yes. "Ok here is my code word and sign." I hesitate for a bit when I realize I forgot what it was. Then I remember and say the word and signal. "Ok what's mine?"
She replies, "Uh...um...well... I forgot." I give her a moment and I think she said something odd that didn't makes sense. Then I say, "You're not really Nyx are you?" I don't remember her reply but she doesn't seem to argue. We have more dialog but I can't remember much. She says, "You think you are legally blind but you are not." I feel shocked that she would know about the dream blindness I had at the start of the dream. She says something else that sounded like gibberish so I decide it's time to go. "Well I am going to go wake up now so that I can remember this." I step out the bedroom door that now leads outside only. I yell back, "You take care of yourself." and close the door behind me.

I look up at the full moon in the sky through tree limbs without leaves. I play at the limbs and start to fly but stop. Then, I think of transitioning into a werewolf but remember I want to test my teleport idea to get to China. I focus on going to China and try to stretch my body to that location. I feel myself get impossibly long then a blind of darkness.

Now, I am flying in a spinning vortex full of various star symbols and odd, broken structures with a rainbow like nebula in the back drop. I chat, "China China Chinatown." over and over as I watch the swirling images. Suddenly I realize I wanted to remember the dream. I feel like I can barely remember the start of it and begin to panic. I really need to wake up!

I plug my nose to hold my breath but I blow through. I laugh at myself a little and realize I am back in my bed stuck in SP. I try moving but only get phantom movements. I think how I just want to make a DJ entry in my tablet. I dream I am doing just that but realize I am still dreaming and it wont be there later.

I now I really hold my breath. It hurts and feels like a long time. I ex-hail but find I am still in SP. This time I suck in hard holding my breath. I commit myself to hold it until I just can't stand it any longer. It feels like an impossibly long time and hurts. I see a computer pop-up loading screen and watch as the bar gets longer. I wonder if I can die like this. Then I realize I will only pass out and start breathing again. Then I wonder what happens when you pass out in a dream. The bar fills up and I have to breath. I ex-hail long and hard and realize I am now awake.