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Fell asleep: 12:10 A.M. (with 50mg trazodone)
Woke up: 9:25 A.M.

9 hours 4 minutes sleep last night
7 hours 10 minutes restful sleep
1 hours 53 minutes restless sleep
79 % restful sleep

Fragment1: Something about a spider and one being behind my pillow. When I woke up, I was paranoid for all of two seconds before exhaustion said eff it and I went back to sleep.

Fragment 2: Two people talking, just in time the big dude goes into the room where the other is and closes the door as an Alien movie type creature patrols by. We were there hacking into a database, and we thought it was all good until the other (me??) looks at a terminal and sees green text and numbers (like in Matrix) flashing and I warn the guy about it. Skip. We're transported on top of a mountain-island. The details are jumbled here, but we transport off of onto another island. It seems like the mountain-island was some hard place to get to, so maybe we shouldn't have left. On this island, we realize that we have to take down these orange creatures before we can keep going.

Inspiration: The RPG event going on in Hesokuri Wars (Osomatsu-san app).

Fragment 3: Mom is looking through my mismatched socks and finds the green/white tie-dyed one. She seems to be about to throw it away, so I quickly reach out for it and explain that I want to keep it. I start to mention that the other one has a hole in it, but my mind freezes as I recall that we already had this conversation.

Inspiration: We actually did already talk about the socks but she thought it was fine to keep the one.

Fragment 4: Looking in the fridge and being surprised to see that my blue flowery cup is in there and full of water. I wonder how long it's been in there and if it tastes okay.

Wakeup times:
1:50 A.M. for 10 minutes
3:20 A.M. for a minute
4:01 A.M. for 3 minutes
4:20 A.M. for a minute
6:40 for A.M. 4 minutes
7:57 A.M. for three minutes
8:10 A.M. for 2 minutes

I remember waking up once for the spider dream, once because my cat was sleeping on my back, and once because she was rustling a bag and I sat up and saw that it was stuck on her head... I know a woke 2-3 more times for dreams but was too tired to do much about it. I stayed up a bit late reading. @_@

I am with my mother, my father, my sister and a cousin. We have to go somewhere urgently. We go by car, I'm driving. At one point, I realize that we are all in the middle of an intersection which is dangerous, besides we're not in a car. So I insist that we should all get in the car again, although I do not see the car anywhere. I see cars going very fast down the road and afraid we run over us. Then I see my mother wears a strange hat, she decided to leave on one side of the road and my cousin climbs by an embankment very agile and quickly and incorporated into a wide road and in good condition. The rest of the party were on a narrow road and is spoiled, I see a big truck comes and I think it is going to cause an accident (I feel overwhelmed). The truck stops before arriving where we are and nothing happens.

Morning

I was in a Warframe game. There is a massive Grineer offensive.

Evening

10:14pm

I was looking at a computer. I was chatting with someone. Mom? Mom was asking me to go home and help. I told her I am. The screen theme is black with some scattered windows.

I woke up in the living room. I heard someone. I went out the yard and saw mom in the backyard getting a pipe off a dog house. I went to her. I told her I didn't hear her come in or that she's coming. She said dad told her I'm her (or that dad opened the gate). I told her "But dad is dead." Then I realized it's all a dream, and I immediately became lucid, the dream improved in quality but I felt I was also quickly losing the dream. I hugged mom and music was playing in the background (lyrics, something like "Sana naman"). It sounded happy but for some reason, I felt very sad.

A photo popped out or slipped off from somewhere and it covered my entire view. The background is inside a church and the focus is on a woman sitting on the pews, facing towards the right where the altar would have been but it's not the picture. She was reading something, and a white book is covering her face so it's unclear. I felt it was supposed to be mom but she looks more like our aunt (who we call "mommy").

---

Notes:

- I've been thinking of going home for a while now.
- Dad died a little over a year ago.
- Our 10-year-old dog died this month.

Technically it's not the first one but others were just too short or limited to count them (and I don't even wrote down every). So I think that this is the first one which is worth anything. Also I need numbers so here we go:

Non-lucid parts
Lucid parts

#1 LD
I was on the meadow close to my house. There were some animals: bisons (?) and black fox. As usually in my dreams I didn't have my camera so I went back for it to my house. I was there very quickly, like with teleport. Then I started to realise that something's odd. I was on the ground floor and again - teleport to my room (maybe with a very little lucidity). I was still going through the dream way. I get my camera. Again - feeling that this can be a dream. So I did RCs. My camera was working fine (vivid, display was on, I took a photo of the church with flash - it was night outside, I checked it on gallery). I switched on and off the light - it worked. I went to the kitchen where my mom was watching TV. I looked on my hands. I had brown gloves and my two fingers was close to each other but it wasn't that odd for me then. I asked my mom if this is a dream and she told me that I'm talking rubbish and I should eat a cucumber. Well, that's my mom. Nothing odd. I was looking so badly for the sign because I wanted to jump through the window and if it wouldn't be a dream - well, not so good RC then. So finally I tried to levitate and it worked! I was flapping my hands for it. It was hard to control the flight. I flight/went to my room, jump through the window and crashed. Fortunately that didn't wake me up, also I didn't feel any discomfort. I flied a little to a different part of the yard. It was day, grass was green, there were many flowers (i.a. red poppies). Everything was beautiful. If I was focusing on some detail then it was more sharp and vivid but also a little 'shaking'. I didn't have many ideas what to do because of excitement. I tried to summon my boyfriend then. I imagined that he comes from behind the tree. It was easy. But he did strange faces, didn't talk anything. Anyway I started to lose control, emotions and stuff. I hugged him. I saw in my mind (still in dream) his dog. Then I woke up. It was maybe 5 minutes between alarms on the morning.

So it was short and I didn't do anything special but I liked it. Also I think it was a sign to start putting more interest in dreams, maybe to help myself with some things. I wasn't thinking then about LD or anything, I didn't even wrote down my dreams (last ones are from October).

NON-DREAM
DREAM
LUCID
FALSE AWAKENING
NIGHTMARE
FRAGMENT
HYPNAGOGIC SOUNDS
HYPNOPOMPIC SOUNDS
(Unconnected dreams indicated by a *. Connected dreams indicated by a •. )

I call the sound hypnagogic because I was trying to sleep in. When I went downstairs to check, Mom didn't seem like she had called me. Also I am no longer in school and do not go to work so there is no reason she should have called me. It was clearly my name.

* I am on the Magic School Bus.

* My mom is calling my name.

I'm wandering around my neighborhood at my school at night. My dad is coming to visit and suddenly I'm in his car. We pretty much teleport to this building that has a cliff on the left side, an open hallway looking straight and wall to the right. We walk through and inside is an elaborate store full of food and toys. I ask him how he knows this place, and he tells me that when he was 10 years old his family used to take him to this store. I look right as we walk into a main area to see two women dressed in chef attire grilling a lot of meat. I look forward to see my family and friends sitting at a booth. Then, I realized this was a surprise dinner for me and it makes me feel happy. I walk over and sit down on the left side of the booth. My mom and grandma are to the left of me. I look forwards and a guy from my freshman dorm named Toben and a girl named Carly are across from me. I look right and see Dana's friend Kristen. She walks to the left and Dana appears. She walks over and sits on my lap as I put my arms around her. I asked her where she was or something like that and she responds. I don't really remember what was said.

Sleep Paralysis: I found myself in sleep paralysis face down. Above me was a teacher shouting at me to get up, but I couldn't move from the ground. It's really hard to breathe. I start breathing out of my mouth but nothing comes in or out. Next, I try breathing irregularly to wake myself but it's not working. I've now been in this for 30 seconds and I'm getting really frustrated. I'm screaming and trying to roll myself out of paralysis. Finally, I manage to roll over and wake myself up.

Fragment: I'm walking into the gate of the pool I work at. There's a huge event going on and there's a lot of water going everywhere. Parents and kids are standing around the pool but it's different than IRL. My feeling is that I'm too old to be here, that time has passed and now there's a whole new group of people working the pool. I look around at the lifeguards and recognize none of them. At some point I think I'm in the pool doing something but I can't remember. Somehow I end up in Star Wars Battlefront walking in a large expanse, like a red earth with mountains surrounding me. A ship flies over me and I start to switch guns to take it down. I find the gun I'm trying to use but my friend ended up waking me up.

I was at a table in a department store and I wanted to put a tablecloth on the table.

My boyfriend's mom randomly showed up at the apartment. I was embarrassed and it wasn't completely cleaned. She started looking around at everything and even opened the refrigerator. I was trying to pick up some dirty clothes from the living room. She started folding blankets and wanted to put them in the dresser and I had to open each drawer to show her there was no room. She showed me a picture of a random boy and said me and my boyfriend can have kids together; they will be pretty. Me and my boyfriend looked out the window while his mom was doing more nosing around the apartment.

I was wondering what time it was because I had to go to class.

So here is a lucid dream from yesterday. It was actually was two dreams. I woke up after the first part and wrote down everything I could remember and then fell asleep and had another one. The first took place during an hour of time. I'm not sure how much of that time I was actually dreaming, but I looked at the clock before I went to sleep and looked at it right as I got up. Almost exactly an hour. I also did this as a WBTB. I went to bed at mindnight, woke up at 5:00, then stayed awake for a while, then let myself go back to sleep.

Lucid Dream:

I was in the kitchen and noticed the fish tank had been moved. It was now on the table. It also was very clean. I looked in closer and saw that there were at least five fish in the tank that I had thought were dead. Where had they been hiding all this time? Hhmm. Fish tank moved. Cleaned. Fish back from the dead. Could I be dreaming? Really, there was more of a chance I was dreaming than all that happening.

So I immediately ran to the steps that lead down to the front door. I ran and dived at the door. As I was sailing down the stairs head first, the thought crossed my mind that if I wasn't dreaming, this would probably hurt...a lot. But I was thankful that when I got to the door, I righted myself and gently landed by the door, which I then opened and flew out into the night.

As I passed my ficus tree I grabbed a few leaves off of it and told myself that I would eat them with the goal of making them taste like something else, chocolate, perhaps.

But as I flew higher, I was fascinated by the town falling away below me and being able to see the horizon. I could see the lake out in the distance. I remembered I had wanted to fly over it, skimming the water. So I headed that way. It was going to take a while to get to flying at the speed I was going. I then remembered Oneironaut's dream where he catapulted himself very quickly to his destination. I tried to think about what that would feel like. I finally decided to use the "rockets on my feet" technique that had worked for me in the past. As I was imagining my foot rockets, I looked over and flying right next to me was Oneironaut. He was looking as cool as ever, dressed all in black leather...jacket, pants, gloves, boots, and some sort of head covering. Even though I didn't see his face I knew exactly who that was.

I could see a white fire shooting out from the soles of his boots. I concentrated and matched his speed. In no time we were to the shore of the lake. I could see some boats at the marina ahead of us. As we got to the boats, Onerionaut dove under one of the boats and continued to swim under water. I didn't want to go under water at this point. I did what I had planned to do--I flew low, right over the surface of the water, skimming it with my hand from time to time.

I then saw a jet skier out on the water (it was daylight by now). I flew over right next to her. She glanced over at me and kept going. Seriously? What's wrong with all my boring dream characters these days? After getting no reaction at all from her I decided to see what she would do if I yanked her off her jet ski. I grabbed her arm and started to pull. But then I felt bad and stopped. Surely I was better than beating up my DCs for not thinking I was cool.

So I flew to the shore. I saw that I was suddenly in some sort of mall. I flew around observing what was around me. I saw an escalator. I flew close to it. Riding up the escalator was a guy who looked about 18 years old. He had dark brown hair that was about shoulder length. He looked over at me, and our eyes connected. He gave me a knowing grin--he knew who I was.

I flew over next to him, keeping even with him as the escalator continued to rise. I put my arm on the back of his head and pulled him to me and kissed him. He seemed to be just fine with that. But then suddenly a wall came between us as the escalator came to the floor that it was going. I knew I could just fly around the wall and meet up with him again, but as I was doing so, I was distracted by a group of younger teenage boys who were watching something on a TV screen.

I flew up to them, wanting to interact, and asked one the the boys the first thing that popped into my head. I said, "Tell me a story." I wanted to know what my subconscious would come up with. One the the boys decided to take it on. He started by saying, "Well, once there was this lady who was very kind." (Was this the best my mind could come up with?) "She was also very ______________." He said a word I had never heard before. It had multiple prefixes, like meta, trans, para something or other. He then saw my confusion and clarified and said, "She was very unselfish. "

At that point the boy was distracted and stated looking at the TV again. I also looked at the TV. Perhaps that would be more interesting than the boring start of the story.

The show they were watching looked like some sort of anime. There were a group of young people all in long white coats-- and all in anime style-- standing in a large lab. Surrounding them were all these very strange plants. They reminded me very much of the types of thing that Dr. Seuss would have drawn. So I thought that the show was an interesting combination of styles.

At that point a commercial came on. It was dog food commercial. The dogs in the ad were dalmations drawn in a very simple style, almost so you couldn't see an outline for the dogs, but could just see lots of spots and eyes.

The next ad was about baby clothes. On the clothes were pictures of these same dalmations in the same style. I guess my mind liked the dalmations enough to recycle them.

I was now satisfied with seeing what was on the TV, so I flew off again.


Now I'm not sure what happened next. Either I forgot a segment of my dream, or else I just had a transition. Lucidity had faded, for the most part.

I now found myself in my grandparent's house. There were a lot of extended family around cooking some sort of big dinner. I wandered from the living room into the kitchen I grabbed a handful of cheese and started to put it into my mouth. I then remembered that I wasn't eating any dairy products these days. I needed a place to spit it out and throw the rest of the cheese away. I didn't want to do it in the kitchen in front of everyone. So I went up the hallway and into the bathroom. I dumped the cheese into the trash. At that moment lucidity came back. I was dreaming. It didn't matter what I ate. Awesome.

I walked back down the hallway again. There was a houseplant on a little table I pulled off some leaves. I had never eaten the leaves I had picked previously, so I could do it now. I wanted to make the leaves taste like chocolate.

But then I decided to take the easy and sure route. I remembered that my grandma had kept chocolate in a certain cupboard. Surely my mind could recreate this for me.

I opened that particular cupboard door and, sure enough, there was part of a large Hersey bar there on the lower shelf. I picked it up and unwrapped the last few squares. It looked like it had been melted at one point, but I didn't care, I was going to make this dream chocolate taste great, no matter what.

I took a bite, and it tasted just like Hershey's milk chocolate. Not my favorite, but it was satisfying, nonetheless. I then looked over at the table nearest the hallway and saw that there was a huge chocolate bar sitting right there waiting for me. This monster bar had to weigh at least ten pounds. It had a white wrapper and on I could see that the bar was divided up into many different flavors. The top corner that I was opening was dark chocolate with fig. Next to it was dark chocolate with pomegranate. This was going to be great. I broke off a large chunk that was mostly fig, but with a little pomegranate. I took a bite and it was wonderful.

I walked into the living room again and saw my aunt, "Tia," I said, "Tell me something about myself that you think is special." That was the first thing I thought of to ask. I like to get insights from dream characters (my mind) about my good qualities. "Well," she started. "You''ll need to give me a little more time. I'm not good at coming up with things spur of the moment."

(My subconscious couldn't come up with anything. How sad. ).

I then decided to move on. I opened the front door and flew outside. I saw that my mom's house was right across the street. I flew over to it and saw my mom standing on the driveway calling for my grandma. I looked around and couldn't see my grandma. But I looked again at my mom and she was so young and thin, just like pictures I had seen from when she was younger. It was fun to see my mom like this. I looked and saw my aunt again next to her. She was also much younger and thinner. I said to her, "Hey I just saw you over in the house." She looked at me and smiled and nodded.


And that's all I remember from this first part of the dream. I'm happy that I was able to have had such a long dream and remember all that I did. It wasn't the most spectacular lucid dream ever, but every lucid dream is good practice for future lucid dreams that are spectacular.

Lucid Dream (Part Two):

I was in an apartment or dorm room. It was full of people. I noticed that on wall had hooks all over it for everyone to hang up their backpacks. I thought that was a good idea since so many people lived here. I saw two girls in the kitchen they looked like twins and were cooking something on the stove.

I then see Jeff come up to me. He looks younger and has longer hair than in real life and he was super HOT. As I saw him I became lucid. He ginned at me with a seductive smile and I smiled back. The next thing I know is that we are on the floor making out and getting intimate.

Then there is a transition and I am sitting on the floor and I pull out my phone. I decide to see what I look like, so I take a selfie. I notice that my hair is all messy and curly. I have to remind myself that I always look different in dream mirrors. So I then stand up and see that I am next to a very large mirror. As I look at myself in it, I morph my reflection so I look as gorgeous and sexy as possible.

I then look over and see that a couple of guys are watching me. I decide to have a little fun. I slowly take off my shirt. But as I look in the mirror, I notice that my body is all clear, as if it were made of glass. That fascinated me even more, so I finish taking off my clothes and just watch my glass body as I dance slowly in front of the mirror.

I was in a bus with mom. I bought an electric fan. It's connected to a power outlet in the bus. I thought it was stolen in the last bus stop. The bus moved ahead to the next nearby stop. I went down and waited for the guy I thought stole the fan. Turned out he was carrying a birdcage. Went back inside the bus. The conductor moved the fan.

In my room at home. I was sleeping, or at least lying down. Mom was outside the windows and said something to the effect of me just sleeping when we have no more money. She went into my room to turn off the fan. I got annoyed because I was still resting.

===

Notes:

- Earlier today, I got a message from sis hinting that she wants me to send mom money because she "forgot."
- Fell asleep last night thinking about how nothing really matters.

Non-dream
Non-lucid
Lucid

Dream Fragment - I remember having a dream where I was playing guitar and I seemed to have broken a guitar string. The 6th string E (the top one). I noticed when I was playing that the sound stopped in a string and upon closer inspection it came off.

Dream 1 - Running and Cats
This dream seems so fragmented in places and I feel like it may have been 2-3 dreams but I just can't figure out the boundary between them. The first one is where I'm running around a lot. It's my main mode of transportation (walking and running in RL) and I use it to run up road to the top of a grassy hill. There's a barn-like building somewhere around. I remember looking across to the valley ahead and knowing that I would run up there as it's apparently a shortcut. It's a steep ascent but I should be fine. It seems to skip further ahead into the dream (or I just forgot everything) and I've arrived at the top of the hill again. This time an old residential hall friend called Luka was there. He seemed like he had matured a lot. I haven't got a clue what we talked about, but he's going the way I just came and I was going to take the shortcut. I notice that the place is a lot busier than it used to be, it's summer or something and a bunch of campers have come here. As I turn around and head to the shortcut the bottom of the hill becomes visible (it goes downslope and then back up across the valley side). The usual empty barn place is full with people around putting up tents. God damn it. I can't go that way anymore since I'm not technically allowed to travel this way and I don't want to get caught. I decide I'll run and catch up with Luka again, he can't have gone far. I sprint my way after him, but wow there are a lot of tents. Suddenly I find myself just leaping around dodging over the lines holding tents up. There's an outrageous amount of them... I make it to the dirt road I usually use to get up the hill. I'm still sprinting + jumping acrobatically around, there's a bunch of lines that increase in density along this road. I end up just doing these insane spinning flips all over the place O_O. Seems like I'm a professional acrobat in my dreams .

I don't know what happened next, but I'm somehow in a school-like gym which has running lanes for 50m. I think I run against an old classmate from high school who was ridiculously fit and pretty damn fast. I seem to outrun him now though, my speed is extraordinary.

I have no in what order this part occurred in within this dream, but I'm in a vehicle/room which has a row of seats on each 2 sides facing each other. They're packed with people chatting casually amongst themselves. The walls are white-metallic I think, I must be near the front I think (which is to my left, meaning I must be sitting on the left side of the vehicle). 3-4 metres to my right would be where the back exit for the vehicle is I think. I think I talk to someone on my left who is standing slightly. After our conversation he goes back to where he was supposed to be seat but my mom (who is sitting on the opposite side about 2 metres to my right) talks to him. I perk up my ears and try to consciously listen into the conversation. She says something like "Oh he's just hard to deal with because he is used to the personalities from game characters and stuff". O_O geeze mom, thanks. I talk loudly enough so they can hear me and say "Hey you know I can hear you right?", and I think she replies saying something "Oh now don't be like that". God damn it.

I'm in my house now in the family room, there's some kind of theme going on with cats. We seem to own maybe 2-3 cats in this house (in RL only 1, because 2 passed away nearly a year ago). Strangely there are a bunch of stray cats in our house though. There are also a few dream characters but I just can't picture who they were. There was a pair of girls and I think one was meant to be a cousin (I don't know any cousins), there was maybe a younger kid playing on the floor. I think maybe my mom was around too. These characters just seemed so hazy even in the dream, like they were barely existing and didn't have any background to them. One stray cat is a scrawny shaking ginger cat that has some similarities to the one we own in RL. The other stray was this crazy looking tomcat that was under the couch, it jumps at my hand and I literally spent a minute in dream time trying to pry its teeth and claws out of my hand. In the end it rips a chunk of flesh of and has these rip marks in its mouth. I think to myself that it must be rabid. At this point I realize I have to put these cats down and hack them apart (this scene was omitted in my dream, they kind of just ended up like that... Phew). There seemed to be a couple strays before that had left and it had made the pair of girls go searching for them, one was crying. I put the dead cats into a paper bag and know that I can't let the girls see them because it would just upset them. I decide to go round to the back of the house in order to bury them. I make my way to another room in order to sneak out but run into a new character, another girl. She pulls out a stray cat from underneath a couch. It has the ugliest snubby face ever and its fur is completely white and really fluffy. She's holding it by the scruff of its neck and it's pissed off and hissing at her, though not really able to resist. She says that they're keeping it, and in reaction to it hissing she said "it's just scared of the rain".. Huh? It's not even raining. It's hissing because it doesn't like you holding it -.-. I feel a little bit of regret for killing the cats even though one was rabid, but I question myself about why I killed the other one. Why DID I kill it? I couldn't think of an answer at all, it was just a scrawny malnourished cat

One:

I was riding along in my car with some other people, and Cory was driving. One of the passengers was my mom. We came along some traffic in Huntsville, near the intersection of South Memorial and Lily Flagg I think, and Cory was not slowing down fast enough to keep from hitting the car in front of us. I kept screaming "SLOW DOWN SERIOUSLY." and he was just all NAAAAAH, so I'm sitting there shotgun bracing myself, and sure enough he rams right into the car ahead of us. Which was some really tiny electric car thing, either blue or green.

The guy ahead of us pulled into a U-turn area and into the big parking lot where people park their used cars for sale, and I noticed his bumper was falling off. Cory was making no move to turn and go over there, so I say "What the hell? You can't just run away!" and he says "Yeah I can, people get hit all the time." I eventually convince him to turn, and we're all sitting in that parking lot, exchanging info with the other guy. I was looking my car over, and it seemed to be okay except for some paint chipping.

After settling that problem, we continued forward. I told Cory I wanted to drive since he sucked so bad, but he was adamant that it wouldn't happen again. So... now we're driving along some open highway in the countryside, and what does he do? He friggin runs right into the CEMENT TRUCK in front of us. I was super pissed at that point and yelling at him, and we all pulled over into a gravel parking lot for some bed and breakfast place. Cory got out to talk to the truck guys, and I got out and inspected my car. It was still OKAY, but it was missing some things... the driver's side mirror was gone. I was looking around on the ground for the missing mirror and I remember finding it next to a big pile of small square pieces of glass. For a moment I thought the glass was from my windows, but luckily it wasn't. That mirror would never move around automatically again if I glued it on myself, but I figured it would be fine moving it manually... first world problems and all that...

Also I took Cory's stupid keys away. I put them on my keychain and noticed my mailbox key was cut in half. It was a lamentable thing.

While Cory was out talking with the truck guys, me and the other passengers went into the bed and breakfast. We sat on the couches for a while and ate some food, some cheap gas station food like individually wrapped Twinkies and personal-sized bags of chips. Cory came in, and said the truck guys were being nice and picking all the ruined fragments off my car, so we still sat there and I bitched at him for being an idiot.

I had to take my Lamictal pill, so for some reason I put it in a big glass of water, which was stupid because once it gets wet, it gets reeeeaaalllly bitter. So then I'm in the bathroom and drinking the water, trying to swallow the pill, and I just can't get it down because of the bitterness. I swear to god I stood there for like ten minutes trying to figure that out.

Two:

Cory and I went to visit some botanical gardens in the fall. We brought along our dog Loki. There was a big door that led to a butterfly area, and so I ask Cory if we can go inside. He's really surprised and asks if I REALLY want to, and I say yes because I want to face my fears, and I was TERRIFIED of butterflies in this dream for some weird reason (WTF?) So we go inside, and let Loki off the leash so she can run around.

The butterfly area was a rectangular grassy area surrounded by tall hedges on all sides. In the middle was a rectangular pond with really clear water that was light blue and had lily pads and stuff all in it. There were birds all over, and a big blue crane wandering around in the water. There weren't too many butterflies, since it was cold out, but there were a couple Monarchs, some yellow Swallowtails, and some black Swallowtails... and some big white ones I couldn't identify. Possibly cabbage butterflies but giant-size?

Anyway, a few swooped at me, and I stood my ground. Cory was quite proud of me. Then he left me to my own devices and went to take photos of some of the birds. I walked around the pond looking at stuff with Loki running next to me, when she stops and does her business. I noticed blood dripping out of her when she did it, and I was freaking out and called Cory over. He said he couldn't see anything, and I was like WTF the blood is RIGHT THERE, but he was adamant about seeing nothing. As we're there on the ground I see a tiny baby hedgehog wander up next to me, rolling around all cutely and stuff. I get all giggly like OH MY GOOOOOD. I'm afraid to touch him because I couldn't remember if their quills were super sharp or not, but Cory pet him and then left. So I sat there playing with the hedgehog for a bit. It wandered up to Loki's business, and did some business of its own... gross. And I'm all "What the hell are you guys doing, trying to fight for territory or something?!"

I get up and wander around the pond for a while longer, and notice Seru standing at the entrance. He's got his arms crossed and says something to me and smiles... I can't remember what he said. Something about the butterflies, I think? I also might have been something about leaving. One or the other. I remember thinking for a moment that he was the guy I came into the butterfly area with, and I got confused. He was the last thing I saw before I woke up.

Three:

Just a dream fragment where I was walking around in a house. It was very cozy like a grandparent's house, at least, it made me feel that way. The floors were small wooden planks and felt really old.

It's about five in the morning. The early morning sun shines onto the gravel of the parking lot, casting long shadows.

My brother and I sitting in a car. I'm in the driver's seat, but the car is parked, and the two of us are just looking at the houses on the street over.

There's some kind of argument, and idly, I imagine a spark near one of the houses.

Suddenly, there's smoke billowing from the windows of the house closest to the spark. Good job, me, bringing innocent bystanders into our argument.

I jump out of the car, shouting "Come on!"

My brother follows me to the house. I ring the doorbell twice -- come on, come on -- and a sleepy-looking woman answers the door.

I point out the billowing smoke, and she thanks me for my concern but tells me that's it's normal.

***

Later, I'm with my mom and brother visiting someone.

"We should get back home," I tell my mom, looking at the approaching storm.

The thunderstorm approaches at the speed of a semi truck, the first pellets of heavy rain hitting the ground in a continuous wave.

"Too late," says my mom, and we duck to the floor of the room (which is on the top of the house) and I'm holding up a floor mat to try to shield us both from the mud splattering into the room.

I had a very disturbing dream where I was going to be killed at the end of the day. I was at home with friends and family, and everyone just accepted that fact. No one was trying to figure out how to stop it. And to make it worse, I was going to be beheaded.

I worried about how long it would take me to die after the ax hit my neck. I wondered who would miss me when I was dead. I wondered which of my dead relatives would meet me after I left my body.

I remember wandering into my bedroom ( I was a teenager and living at home in this dream). I wondered if I should clean everything out now so no one would have to do it for me later. But I decided I shouldn't have to worry about that. I had enough to worry about.

At one point I went into the kitchen and saw a chocolate cake in the cupboard. I didn't know whose it was, but I decided that I could get away with eating some of it. No one would be able to get mad at me later. I would be dead. And I no longer had to worry about trying to eat healthy. I was going to die tonight anyway.

I started to feel sorry for myself. And a little angry. Why didn't anyone care about what was going to happen to me? I was in a room with my mom. We were looking at a magazine or something and I saw something that looked interesting. I said to my mom, "Hey, I want that for my birthday". I knew I was going to be dead, but I wanted to see what her response was. She said, "Sure, if that's what you want we can...." and her voice trailed off as she realized I wouldn't be around for my birthday. She seemed sad, but resigned to the fact that I was going to die. I felt a little bad I did that to my mom. I'm sure this couldn't be easy on her either. But I walked off without saying anything else to her.

I don't really remember any more specific details, but this dream seemed to last all day. I felt my tension grow as the day progressed. I was alone for most of the dream.

I'm sure this dreams represents some real feelings deep inside. Although, in real life I have a very caring and loving family that would never have acted like this, so this must represent something deeper. I'll have to think about it.

One:

I was in high school, and it was the last day before spring break. After class the teacher kept a few of us in the room, and asked us to beta read some fiction that other students wrote. She laid all the stories out in a vertical row on this bar thing, and we went up and picked one each. Mary, a friend of mine from high school, picked up the weird Zoolander fanfic, which was the one I wanted. So instead I picked the erotic MA rated story, figuring I could learn a thing or two about writing that sort of thing. As I was flipping through it, I realized it was HORRIBLY BAD. Like, they used the most disturbing terminology to describe penises and I just kept laughing. So I put it in my bag and left the room.

Before I left the school, I realized I was on my period (ugh) so I ran into the restroom to get a tampon real quick, and I noticed the restroom was DISGUSTING. Like, there were puddles of pee all over the floor and stuff. I nope'd on out of there and went into the men's restroom instead, and it was super clean. Which was weird, because usually the stereotype is the other way around. So as I left the restroom, I put on my headphones and put my mp3 player and my iPod in my pocket, and walked down the hall. I bumped into Misha Collins, but I kept calling him Castiel, and we walked out into the parking lot together, talking about things. It was raining outside and he lamented over the fact that he couldn't put his headphones on like me because he was afraid the rain would short circuit them and that his iPod couldn't fit in his pocket. He was totally bitching about it. I was like "Dude, they totally fit in your pocket..." and showed him that I had both that and my phone in my pocket. This just blew his mind for some reason. We parted ways in the parking lot and I headed out to my car.

Two:

Mom was headed on a road trip to see grandma, and I was pissed because she wouldn't let me come along. So as she drove off, I grabbed on to the car and just sat on top of the trunk while she drove along. I have no idea how she didn't notice me there.

The road trip was super long, and a few times I fell off and had to grab onto the bumper to keep from hitting the road, so by the time we got there, I was tired as hell. She pulled in down the gravel path and stopped and got out, and was pissed off that I'd hitched a ride like that. She was also screaming about how I could've died. I replied that she was a horrible driver because if she had looked in ANY of her mirrors she would've seen me. I walked around the property by myself.

Three:

Something about Cory withdrawing $100 from the bank account and using it to buy some little thing, and I got angry because he kept taking money out of the account so he could spend it on things without me knowing. He was also late from work a lot so I was accusing him of horrible shit.

Four:

Something involving Seru getting really pissed and drop kicking some dude. I remember feeling tense and thinking WTF. Also at some point I noticed my nail polish was completely wiped clean. I just stared at my nails all weirded out. It was the first dream of the night, and by the time I finished remembering the other dreams, I totally forgot most of this one.

Driving down the highway with my mom in the driver's seat, we're talking about things. You know, the usual update stuff that doesn't change much from week to week. My girlfriend comes up in the conversation at some point and my mom get's really jealous. I can tell she's really upset over something. She stops talking and just steps on the gas. Okay, so she's upset, that's fine I think as I watch the scenery whip by faster and faster.

I look over at her and she's practically in tears now as we pass 100 mph. I start to feel uncomfortable as she drives faster and faster. She and I are pretty well connected, and without saying a word, I just know that she's thinking, "If I can't have him, no one will" and that she's going to crash the car and kill us both. At this point we're going over 120 mph and I don't know what to do about this situation. I consider taking the wheel and spinning the car out of control to a stop, but since we're going so fast, that could be just as deadly as whatever she has planned. That's actually the only thing I think to do other than ride it out.

Maybe if I just sit here peacefully she'll have a change of heart before it's too late... I quietly hope as the situation gets super tense for me. I see a turn in the road with no guard rail, and a huge cliff over the edge. This must be where she's headed. That's okay though, we still have a few seconds for her to change her mind. No sooner do I think that than the car careens off the road and over the cliff. My stomach sinks, my hair stands on end, and I look out the window. Several hundred feet below I can hardly see the ground it's so far away. This is it, this is how my end finally comes I think as it dawns on me that there's no way out of this one.

Despite the distance, in a matter of seconds the car smashes into rocks below. The dash smashes my head and everything goes black after a brief white flash.

Gradually, some color starts to fade into my awareness and I find myself standing amidst massive crystals of every color, all arranged immaculately and beautifully. The most amazing sight I've ever seen! It all feels so peaceful as well.

I walk through the crystals as I sense some purpose for me. I don't know precisely what I am supposed to do, but I do know that I can't just stay put and kick off my shoes just yet. So I walk through a breathtaking crystal maze with glowing lights coming from just about every crystal. I don't know what I'm looking for, but I'm looking for something.

I reach a huge palace and dozens of really nice people greet me. They're all strangely familiar, yet I can't quite place how I know them. Also, they all seem so peaceful and happy, like everything is perfect, and they have no worries. They call out to me and we exchange small talk for a bit. It comes up that I can really do anything I want now. I think about this for a second and decide that the best thing I can do is show the example of someone attaining enlightenment, and refocus my mind on the spiritual path.

Everything starts to blur for a bit, and I reappear clearly firing a rocket at someone who is trying to steal a huge diamond from a bank. As I fire the rocket, I realize it's my mom! Somehow I manage to stop it from killing her and run over. She looks at me hesitantly, as I do the same to her. I don't know if I can let my guard down around her anymore after she just killed me. She apologizes for killing me and we talk about what happened after I died. She tells me that she survived the crash, but I didn't. It was deemed an accident, but she was really distraught over it for a long time. I tell her that it's okay, I forgive her. But it still might take me some time before I get in the car with her again.

She's okay with that.