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Fell asleep at: 2:30 AM

Woke up at: 10:50 AM


Percieved dream time: ???

Dream:

I'm in a bedroom filled to the rim with movie and video game paraphernalia. There are bookcases filled to the brim with DVD's and video game box covers (Of which they seem to be mostly Xbox 360 games due to the distinctive green boxes they came in).

There's a stereotypically emo looking dude in the room (His girlfriend is also there too but I never get a clear look at her). And we're actually pretty cool with each other in the dream! We exchanged jokes, went into deep discussion about our shared interests (Video games obviously), and at one point I experienced genuine, wacky laughter in a dream!

Apparently I had a video game who's sprite varied depending on the region you bought the game in and what time it came out. We were searching on my phone about who had the very rare Dark Blue color variant that came with the first few copies. Only to find out it was a 10 year old kid who wouldn't shut his mouth.

"HA! I retro-fagged before all of you guys! I'm a MILLIONAIRE HAHAHAHAHA!!!" I believe is what he said (And, no, I don't promote the term 'retro-fag').

We laughed so much at that given moment that my face had a permanent smile fixed on it for the entirety of the dream. We joked about it, reciting Videogamedunkey by saying "I'M A MILLIONAIRE" and "HERE COMES THE MONEY".

That was until my sister called me out of the room and I had to go. Maybe I should see that guy again, make him my dream guide. Hmm...


NOTES

1. As it turns out, the emo dude (In the dream) is actually a millionaire. The DC, not the real life counterpart.

I was in the left rear seat of a Four-Door 1977-1990 Chevrolet Caprice in Beige which was parked in a parking lot, thinking it was my own. The owner and a few other people came by and I got out, realized it isn't my car and talked with the owner who wasn't mad at me. At some point I said "I don't know how I'm even staying alive" or something similar to that (I know those aren't the exact words) and he laughed.

A school dream where a lot of students are upset, because new students are taking over some of the old ones duties without any say.

The old ones decide to leave.

The setting is my old school. I sneak off with my phone and call Ella, but she’s in trouble.

We’re in some game-type dungeon and I’m trying to help her escape, but there’s a bear. We manage to circuit around it. There was a bit more but it’s fuzzy.

We’re back at school and trying to escape. We come up to a big garage-type door. Suddenly, I smell gas! We have to get out. I find some tool and bash on the door, but it only comes loose a bit. I see where the gas leak is coming from – the building is going to explode!

We make it through a crack in the door to outside where some other students are standing around. We run away, and I look back and yell, “Get back, get back, there’s going to be an explosion!” After a moment they respond in realization and start moving.

…But nothing happens, leaving me confused.

Jump.

The students who are leaving are transferring to another school. A guy with a girl is talking about his plans, and I wonder if they’re not worried about splitting up if he’s the only one leaving.

A taller African American boy wearing glasses who comes across as smart is going on to the teacher at the checkout about how relieved he is to be getting away. I’m watching off to the side, maybe omnisciently.

There’s an African American man behind him who interrupts. I feel that’s a bit rude even if the boy was rambling. He tells the checkout woman that he just wanted to drop off some charity thing before he was done for the day. I change my mind about him.

Just before he leaves, he turns and says to the boy something like, “And if you were really happy to be leaving, you wouldn’t keep going on and on about this place.”

Jump.

We’re sitting down at tables and eating. I glance to my left to my friend. She’s looking at me as well so I start to smile. The other people look up at me too, and then suddenly everyone is roaring laughing at me. My smile quickly falls off my face and I cover it. I must have something on my face??

I jump up from my spot and start leaving, trying to think of how to cover my face up with this jacket thing I have and still see, whilst thinking resentful thoughts like, ‘If you’d told me what was so funny you could laugh with me and not at me, but you didn’t!’.

Dream - Lucid

I just recalled a bit of something...another dream about not attending a class that I was enrolled in. I think it was math again. I only remember this detail, all others are very vague pictures. Some kind of ceremony, I think? Maybe graduation? Not entirely sure.

~

I'm not sure where I was, but it was daytime. Dallas was texting me. He was in Oregon. He was saying he may fall down this huge hill. I guess he was hiking and close to a steep hill/ledge. I was worried for him; I hoped he didn't fall. For awhile, I was then not getting any responses from him, and when I'd text him, it would have trouble going through. He must be in a bad reception area. I then tried to call, and it wouldn't go through. I was really starting to get concerned.

I was then in the car, sitting on the passenger's side. Dallas was in the driver's seat, but there was no wheel on his side. I guess I was driving. Anyway, Dallas was sitting there completely naked. He had fallen down the steep hill/ledge. His body was turned in a way where I couldn't see any of his junk. I looked at him, and he looked relatively normal, aside from his front teeth looking like they got banged up, his lip was half normal colored and half a little dark. I was talking to him about us taking him to the hospital, letting his mom know, etc. I also commented on how quickly he got from Oregon to here (it's literally across the country!); I said something about it taking him an hour.

He then told me he didn't think I could handle seeing his injuries. I was talking to him about something when he said this. He turned his body all the way around and...his penis and testicles were completely gone. I tried to keep talking and ignore it, but I couldn't. I was then thinking about some IWL conversations we had about penectomies and how Dallas would fall into a huge depression if that happened. He was telling me it got cut off in the fall, but he couldn't go back and get it. He seemed to be in shock about the whole thing right now, like it wasn't affecting him that badly. I was wondering what they could do for him at the hospital.

I then saw him again at some point, a side view, and it looked like his penis was there after all. It was a very brief view though. I think we were in the hospital.

~

I was going down through the floor, down, down, down into darkness. I realized this wasn't waking life, but it didn't feel like a lucid dream, it honestly felt more like an OBE (for convenience purposes, I'm going to use the color code for my LDs, even though I genuinely do not believe it was a regular LD). I decided that I wanted to see what Hell looked like (I do not believe that heaven and hell are real places, but states of mind and being). In a previous experience some years ago, I was going down into the ground in a similar fashion in an LD, but I was too afraid to see hell, so I went back up. This time, I said to myself that I could handle it; I was ready to see it. I was concerned about waking myself up, but I held it together very well. I then looked down at my body and saw I was naked in the darkness as I descended. Interesting.

I then was in hell. I was in a room where there were these long tables all around the perimeter of the room. There were children who were supposed to be getting their faces painted by adults, but the adults were cutting their faces and painting them with blood. The children were scared and upset. There was a doorway leading into another room. I went into that one. I don't remember what was specifically going on in there, but there were more scared and upset children.

I then was in blackness again, and this feeling of fear and despair came over me. I knew they were not my own feelings, but the feelings pervading this hell. I saw vague shapes in the blackness.

~

I woke up from that last dream and fell asleep again, fully aware that I was going to enter a dream. I was out of my body again. I was in the house I grew up in. I don't remember many details about being in the house, but I then went outside and floated into the air. It was a bright and sunny day. I decided since I had seen hell, it was time to see heaven. I went up, up, up into the air. I then was in this tube that was very vivid. It was covered in light blue squares that had some Disney character's face on them. I went further into the tube and the color changed to yellow with more characters. It kept changing like this until I emerged on the other side.

I was in what looked like the exact same face painting room from hell, except for this time, the kids were really getting their faces painted. They were not scared or sad, but it was a much more calm atmosphere.

Unfortunately, I don't remember any more from this experience. I don't think much happened after that.

I then was back on Earth, outside in the daytime. I was floating, working on the effortless method of just letting it happen, but then I started to go down towards the Earth. I started to make myself float up again, and started to "swim" through the air. I knew that this was not what I had been working on, and it felt like I had more resistance, but it was working. I was swimming upwards and to the left towards the house.

There was a point where I looked in a mirror slightly above me and at an angle, and wanted to make angel wings appear on my back (something I tried to do in a previous LD not long ago), and lo and behold, there they were on my back. They were white and feathered. I smiled; they were beautiful.

~

I was again entering a dream. I felt like I was leaving my body, but appeared in a different room. I saw my sleeping body laying on the bed. It was naked, but in the same position that I fell asleep in. I seemed to be in what looked like a hotel room. Someone else was in there too, though I'm not sure who. They could see me though, which was kind of surprising. I went into the bathroom and floated. Someone else came in, my CS assistant manager, C. She could see me floating in the air! I was surprised that she could see me! I started to do these flips between the walls by the toilet, and she was laughing. I loved it!

~

Caved and took a whole Ambien again last night. -_-; I'm going to take a half tonight, otherwise I'll never get off this stuff. Though the experiences I had were very cool. I never felt like I was lucid dreaming; I felt out of body. It really did feel different. It was quite fascinating!

I'm on a bus with Daz and Josh D(D&J). We get dropped off near Blitz. Josh grabs a hose and places it on the side of the road. He turns on the hose so it's shooting over the top of the road. I run across the road with them and I get wet from the hose. I'm walking up hill, heading towards Josh's work friends house. I suddenly realize I have have not bought my going-out clothes, and I'm furious.

I'm now in a room with D&J and random people. Josh is having a dig at me for some reason and is making fun of me using face wash etc. Daryl takes notice of his rudeness and isn't too impressed with Josh. I don't bite back at all and just let Josh dig his own grave by allowing him to keep assaulting me for no reason.
I see Josh on the ground, and he's tickling a child on the ground in a playful manner. The father picks up the child off of the ground and threatens the child and tells the driver about what had happened.

I walk into a bedroom which is suppose to be a bus. Josh's goes over to the bed to claim it, while Daz and myself sit on the chairs. I ask Josh about what was being said earlier, so he could dig himself even more of a hole.
I look through the window of the room and see a beautiful golden door that looked like a hand was coming out, like a 3D effect. It had pictures of people around the door and soon realized it was a Scientology building. I look to the side of the building to see how big the place is, and it's a decent sized building. I tell D&J, wouldn't it be interesting to see what is on the other side of that door. Daz says something that isn't in favor of the teaching of Scientology.

We're on another bus, with a lot of other people. I see a little Asian child, and she is repeating something over and over. The bus goes quite, and I break the silence by saying what the child said earlier. Everyone starts laughing, but especially the lady in front of me. It was one of those delayed laughs that end up being very hilarious. 2 Asian ladies leave the bus and I assume that they're the mother of the child but they're not.
I see a baby running up and down the bus pulling on her belly button, which extends 6-7 inches out of her stomach. She seems to be stroking it. I feel a little sickened and so does the guy across from him. I begin to wake up and try to DEILD, but I couldn't hold back my laughter, from thinking about what I just saw, and fail to DEILD.

09-26-2013 -- [Very long, detailed, funny dream, that like usual, I can not remember well enough to really do justice to it. I literally woke chuckling to all the insanity I'd just been through.] I am at a hotel or something, almost certainly at or near Walt Disney World, and I am with Dale. He's on the last full day of his vacation, and is stressing out about going home the next day. He's worried about packing everything and getting the rental car returned and all.

So I am walking him through it all step-by-step, and telling him it will all go smoothly and be easy to get everything done, and he is starting to calm down. Meanwhile, we seem to be eating in a little restaurant or cafeteria that seems more like it is in a school than a hotel (hints of FCM at IWU), and Dale is mentioning how he ended up writing some sort of sarcastic bit for a small humor newsletter, but what was supposed to be one little bit has grown into three, and he's handed them to me to read, and as I am doing so (and nothing ever reads well in dreams) the publication is growing from a Teens Today-size 11x17 folded-into-four-page handout to a Hornet-sized newspaper to a multi-page, multi-section full-size newspaper like the Orange County Register, which I am having trouble folding to carry under my arm.

Meanwhile, Dale has just taken out his trombone and has walked into the back of a classroom and sat down with his instrument as a very no-nonsense teacher and a bunch of students start to walk into the room. It seems Dale is sitting in on a rehearsal. The teacher is very tough and demanding, but all Dale ever receives from him is the occasional brief nod, so he must be a very good musician. [In real life I am almost certain Dale doesn't play anything.]

As the teacher starts and continues to lead the group, I am very surprised to notice all the brass players are segregated behind a 'sound-proof' barrier that can't block the sound entirely, but lessens it, so the teacher isn't having to constantly warn the brass not to blare, and urge the woodwinds and strings to be louder, to be heard, and I am thinking to myself what a brilliant idea it is, and wishing we had it back when I was in band. But Dale is not behind it, so I guess the trombone is a woodwind in this dream.

Anyway, they play for a bit, and then they seem to take a little break, and while the professor is giving his students small bits of individual instruction, I am making a few comments (about the vacation, not the music) to Dale, and though I am afraid the music teacher will snap at me, he doesn't. The teacher is a sort of a mixture between Mr. Eubanks (one of my teachers, though not a band teacher), Pat Moran, and Lisa Simpson's music teacher.

Soon the whole class is moving, and it seems like we move about a corridor over. It is like we are moving from a practice room to a performance hall, and starting to prepare for an actual concert or something. But there are more and more people walking in and getting involved, and lots of 'guest stars,' both from TV and from my past. Tony Shalhoub seems to be puttering around, and Ron Howard seems to be playing an instrument, and wondering how things are going to play out, but they are both very young. (Ron is Happy Days age, and Tony resembles his character in Galaxy Quest.)

There is a young lady who is top of her class, and very proper, but kind of stuck up (a sort of cross between Sharon Newkirk's brilliance and Cordelia Chase's attitude) who is supposed to be one of the star performers, but she has managed to do something to anger the professor, and he just points her to an out-of-the-way corner and orders her to sit down and shut up, which has her pouting and angry.

Meanwhile, there is a very flashy and flamboyant piano player, a kind of a cross between Liberace and Elton John, very forward, demanding, and visual, who is just passing through, but sees a piano, and can't help but sit down and start to play, and the professor tolerates it, but makes it plain he expects him to behave, and amazingly enough, manages enough presence that the flamboyant player meekly agrees.

So they are all starting to tune up and prepare, and Dale is still hanging in the background, out of the way, but ready to play. Since he is not one of the students, he doesn't want to put himself forward at all, but he is still going to sit in and play along. Meanwhile, Shawn Spencer is also here, and is his usual insane self, and is coming up with all sorts of ideas on how to make the concert or opera or whatever it is supposed to be, and somehow the strict, demanding, controlling professor finds almost all of his insane ideas to be interesting, and is largely giving him free reign, and thereby allowing chaos to spread incredibly.

So the people are wandering in and out, music is played, Shawn is rewriting both the show and bits of music on the fly (at one point he walks by the piano player, throws in a hand, and adds a small riff mid-song before walking off) and though I expect both the flamboyant pianist and the controlling director to be furious, they seem much more bemused, almost sort of "Yes, that does work nicely."

The girl is complaining that she isn't being allowed to do anything, and it's just not right! Ron Howard is having fun, but confused as can be about what is happening, and Shawn is getting more and more wild in his ideas, which doesn't bother the controlling professor at all, though it certainly ought to! Things are getting more and more surreal, and the audience is just laughing hysterically and taking it all in. It is chaos ... brilliantly orchestrated chaos!

Finally things end and we all start filing out. I want to tell the professor how much I liked the concert, and also I still want to comment on that brass behind the barrier thing, but there is no way to get near him at the moment, and the press of the crowd more or less forces me into the practice room that we'd visited earlier. It seems that other students, not part of the group performing, but inspired by the concert's madness, have run rampant in here, and trashed the place.

The college staff have been working at cleaning the place up, and are somehow deciding to blame me for all this, but I am not having any part of it. I tell them they want the prestige of having this big name person in charge, and to keep him from walking off in a huff they give him complete and absolute control ... if he goes mad and his students destroy the place, the blame is completely theirs. They can't blame it on a random passing stranger! They don't like hearing this, and are swarming at me, trying to pull me down, but all they manage to do is to pull down all the materials blocking the door, and create an exit for me. I climb out of the room, and back into the main hall, where I find the crowds thinning.

I run into Dale, who I haven't seen in a while, and he is now late for his plane, but he feels the concert was well-worth it, and he isn't worried about it anymore. I start helping him grab all his luggage, and am sort of shrinking it to a small size, and causing it to all float around us (ala Harry Potter) while Kevin is complaining about everything, and saying he doesn't know what is going on.

We hurry toward the car, but as the crowds continue to thin, I practically run right in to the professor, and decide I have to speak to him for a moment. But now he is tired, and winding down, and has been talking to people for quite a while, and may be starting to second guess himself a little, and he seems really iffy about talking to me.

I tell him something like "That was crazy, and insane, and hilarious, and absolutely brilliant, but I have to tell you two things. The first is a quote from one of the Superman movies: 'You can't ...' I mean, 'You don't ...' 'If you think you can ....' Never mind. It's not important." Now he is starting to smirk, and seems to be getting to be in a better mood.

"The second thing is this. I used to be a music student ... never again!" I insist, worried that he'll think I want to ask him for lessons or something. Then I start to mention the constant warnings to the brass not to blare, and everybody else to be louder, but after the first couple of words, he is repeating back what I am saying, just a split second after me, then saying it with me, then saying is just an instant before me, like that odd monster out of the Doctor Who episode Midnight. Before I can get too frightened and freak too much, he breaks it off to make a comment about how the strange thing is, they don't have that segregated bit here in the performance hall, only in the practice room.

About this point, I woke up chuckling to myself about the madness of the dream.

[HR][/HR]
[B]Saturday, August 17th 2013: "Repetition" (LUCID)
Type: DILD/FA[/B]

I had a fantastic series of false awakenings - three in a row, and lucid in all three of them, but many details have disappeared because the whole thing was followed by completely non-related non-lucid dream. However, this is what I do remember...

Everything happens in the morning hours. It is daytime. I am sitting in my armchair in the living room, and I become lucid by doing an RC on the digital clock under my TV. - Because of the vividness of everything, I can't believe that I'm dreaming, so I repeat the RC two or three more times. I get very excited, stand up, and begin to laugh. I begin recalling some minor things I did last night. Then I turn around and look at the mirror in the living room, which is once again showing a somewhat different reflection. The biggest difference is in the hair, eyebrows, and eyes. Just for the fun of it, I pull on my right ear a little, and the same thing happens in the reflection. Now I point my finger in the mirror and begin laughing. The reflection does the same thing, but again, with minor differences. My facial expression in the mirror is very funny and unusual. As I'm deciding what I should do next, the dream appears to end.

[B][U]FA #1:[/U][/B]

I'm lying on my bed on my right side, and experiencing mild vibrations. After a few moments I become aware that it's a dream, and I just sit up. I push my right index finger through my left palm, and it feels like weak rubber. The finger slightly pushes through the palm. I laugh, and lucidly get out of bed. In my living room I encounter a friend, whom I ask to take me to an intelligent dream character, because I have some questions I need answered. He takes me into the yard, and we stand infront of the door that leads to my storage room. He tells me that this dream character is in there. I briefly see some figure through the door glass, but this is where I "wake up"...

[B][U]FA #2:[/U][/B]

Lying on my bed, once again on my right side, and again experiencing mild vibrations. I am pretty certain I feel my dream body and not my real body, so therefore I just sit up again, and do the finger-through-palm RC. Yup, I am still sleeping, and this is a dream. I get up, go outside, into the yard, and stand in front of the storage room, to attempt myself to generate this dream character. I try to expect many things, but even after two attempts it doesn't work. Now I decide to levitate a bit, which actually works great, as it always does in my dreams. A few moments later, I "wake up" again.

[B][U]FA #3:[/U][/B]

Same scenario. Lying on my bed, right side, mild vibrations. At this point I am 100% sure that it is a false awakening, and at the same time I laugh because it's already the third one. I sit up, do finger-through-palm successfully, and get out of bed. I go outside, into the yard, and I start saying the following out loud. "I will remember all of this. I must remember all of this. All the details I will remember." As I'm saying this, I look closely at the walls and all the details around me. It is very vivid. I laugh. Now I remember something from Patricia Garfield's "Creative Dreaming", and that's the claim that it should be pretty hard to say your name out loud in a lucid dream. In the book it says that this will cause many people to wake up. Now I try to do this, and I say my name out loud. To be honest it does create an unusual feeling perhaps because of some expectation effect, but it does not cause me to wake up. I rub my hands together, and decide to go for a walk. I walk down the street, frequently touching the walls of the houses as a sort of stabilization method. After a few minutes I notice that this town doesn't look like itself anymore. I seem to be in a completely different place. At this point the dream becomes unstable, starts to fade, and eventually turns into a non-lucid dream.

[HR][/HR]
[B]Tuesday, August 13th 2013: "Amazing Mirror" (LUCID)
Type: WBTB/WILD[/B]

After a brief WBTB period (around 10 minutes), I begin to slowly enter sleep paralysis. After the vibrations begin I relax as usual and focus on seeing through my eyelids. A few moments later the picture becomes clearer and clearer. After about 5 seconds, my bedroom becomes extremely vivid, and I just move my dream body and sit up. Excited that I entered a dream, I take a deep breath and get up from my bed. I look down at it, thinking maybe I'll see my body lying there, but no... I just see the bed, the pillow, and the sheets. I analyze the objects in my room and laugh because it's just so vivid. I am also lucid enough to know that I'll soon have to get up for work, and worry that maybe my alarm clock will wake me up soon and ruin my lucid dream. Now I enter my living room. It is day time, actually morning, just as in reality. I see one of my friends lying on the couch, but he doesn't live here at all. I tell him this is not reality, and ask him if he already knew that. He says no, and seems a bit disappointed. I tell him I have some things to do/experiment with, and that I won't disturb him, so he can remain lying on the couch. He laughs and says ok.

In my living room there is a big mirror in the same position just like in real life. Now it dawns on me that I wanted to experiment with mirrors next time I become lucid. Very excitedly I step closer to the mirror and closer. Now I see my reflection... which is... extremely odd, just as always. But this time I am analyzing every detail of it, and it simply amazes me. My reflection is "angry", and "scary". My eyes look very focused, as if I'm ready to attack someone. One eyebrow is raised, which looks funny. In any case, the atmosphere is somewhat eerie, but it's a good feeling nonetheless. Now I move to the left, and the reflection seems to move just a bit differently, perhaps with a 1 second delay, and some minor differences in movement. Then I move to the right, and again, there is a delay and minor differences. Then I get very close to the mirror and analyze my face. One eyebrow is still raised, eyes are still scary, and the face is in "attack-mode." I actually laugh at this point, but my reflection doesn't laugh.

At this point I decide to try what I read somewhere on the internet, and that's pulling the reflection out of the mirror. First, I stick my hand inside the mirror for a second, then pull it out. It looks cool, kind of like pushing your hand into liquid. I move my hand really close, then push it inside the mirror very fast and grab my reflection's hand. I pull it out, and pull, and pull... first up to the wrist, then up to the elbow. He's pulling back very hard, and I'm pulling in my direction. My friend watches the whole thing in amusement. I tell him to help me pull him out of the mirror. Gets up and helps me. However, at this point the arm begins stretching kind of like rubber, and I see that I can't pull him out, instead it's just like a very long arm that is now almost pulled to the end of the room. My friend and I decide to let go of the arm, and it just pulls itself back very fast into the mirror, snapping back kind of like a rubber band.

A false awakening occurs. I am in my bed, but I already know it's a false awakening without doing a reality test. Everything is amazingly vivid again. I laugh and get up, but before I get to do anything... my alarm clock "really" wakes me up.

Suzette tries to snatch up my bag for me. Christa M. is there. She is laughing. We realize that it is out of reach. Lakeside. Riverside. It is on a counter in the bathroom of the hotel room. I though Brian was sleeping so I have a cigarette. H says to me calmly, “I though you quit smoking?” I proceed to explain that I have but make a list of reasons to justify my slips. All I want is a soda back at Suzette's house. All I can find is beer. Maya and I leave Laura and Brian at the house, while we go either to the garage or a small store. On the “familiar departure” I remember being lucid enough to realize it's familiarity and also talk myself into opening my eyes for the fast decent downward which otherwise I am too afraid to experience. I feel my stomach jump. I think that it's only a dream. Laura C. and I decide to take a set at a tall round table with stools. Mildly aware that there are at least two people with us. One, a boy, really wants to sit by me. At an intersection we find Laura M. broken down/stuck in her white Jeep and one one seems to be helping her. I also hesitate.

Sunday night I had a terrifying dream. It started out like just another nonsensical dream, but my dream friends and I wound up in the apartment where I spent my childhood. I lived in that apartment from 2-19 years old. My mom passed when I was 18, so all of my memories of her come from that apartment.

We were in the living, just as it was when I was 17. The phone rang. I picked up the cordless phone (I haven't used a phone like that in years) and there was no dial tone. The ringing was coming from the backroom, my mom's room down the apartment hall.

I walked back to find a skinny man in my moms bed, wearing her wig and dress. A yellow, dim light came out from under him and he started writhing around. Horrified, I started yelling at him for being there. I walked over and took off the wig and then his face became my mom's. At first she was looking up at me sweetly, but then some horrible dread came over me.

She started laughing at me and writhing around crazily. I asked her to stop and started to back away, terrified. The more upset I was, the harder she laughed. I then threw something at her and screamed at her to stop and I thought, "You have to stay dead."

I woke up 10 minutes before my alarm went off at 5:20 am. I woke up my boyfriend and started crying. When the alarm went off I was too afraid to go get it, afraid that it was some sort of subconscious trick to get me back into that room, just like the rining phone. My boyfriend turned the alarm off for me and I wasn't OK until he turned on the lights. I know my real mother would never have done something so terrible to me, but that doesn't take away from the power of this dream.