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Saturday morning, 18 December 1971. Age 10.

Dream #: 1,825-01.

1 minute and 50 seconds to read.

Requires reading and understanding: MAPPED DREAM “Run from the Brontosaurus” in the first part of this report.

This dream is one of many from childhood that I still cherish, regardless of its usual predictable causality factors. I still view this dream as hilarious on one level.

While hand mobility and somatosensory response (often with summoning and handling coins) have occurred regularly in dreams since childhood, foot mobility with a somatosensory response in the bottoms of my feet is uncommon, though I also use my hands in this case - and it is still predictably tied to leg mobility as most outcomes in this mode.

The curious event here involves falling and breaking a window by landing on it from a reasonable height but remaining in the dream state. Although horizontal, it ties to using a door as a dream’s deliberate exit point. While my intent to exit is ongoing, it triggers an offset somatosensory dream segment instead. I had, however, deliberately jumped from a bridge to leave the dream state, expecting, if remaining in the dream, to land in the water, as with similar instances. That is what I find hilarious.

“Doubling” is a viable term for this dream sequence because I am still in the dream state for an additional vivid segment, and it combines two dream-exiting methods I have often used.

What caused this particular shifting response (rather than waking me up)? My guess is because of the lack of myoclonus in this case. (Even so, there have been more recent dreams where I remained in the dream state after feeling “the drop.”) Myoclonus most often wakes me from the dream’s physical illusions (particularly leg myoclonus at the beginning of every sleep cycle). It shifted into a somatosensory response (glass in the bottoms of my feet) but still did not wake me. A typical hand-based somatosensory response as a catalyst is an animal nibbling my fingers.

Again, the lightning (an increasing synaptic energy analogy) striking the dinosaur and bringing it to life (waking it up) was also a transition representing precursory wakefulness, though, at that point, my dream also shifted into another segment (though with my deliberate intent in the first instance - because in childhood, I learned to hold myself in the dream state even when there is an imaginary threat and now have gotten much better at it - see “Heraldic Dragon Storm” from 2023 for example).

The unrealistic stop-motion effect (movie influence) has occurred in many other dreams. These days, “bad CGI” also occasionally “corrupts” dream narratives. Animated content superimposed over otherwise realistic scenes has also often occurred since childhood.

29th November 2021

Very abridged, many details weren't retained after waking; this was a brief lucid involving a false awakening and the lucid part felt continuous and lasting several minutes.

Dream:

I am out and about in a place like old home. Reminds me of 98 and I am with mom maybe, and a group of kids. It's some kind of school trip. (mom is here as a teacher?) I cross some foot bridge thing. It's sunny. I then go into a cafe or shop place, somewhat dark and unlit, except by the bounced light from outside. There are a few dream characters here, there's a counter of some kind on the left side and the place is deep-ish, being long and relatively narrow more than anything else.

I start hearing my thoughts and they are very present. My thoughts tell me I'm dreaming and I confirm this in some way by interacting in some specific way with the people. For some reason, I still feel self-conscious, or like it's impolite to do anything right away, excusing myself and eventually going outside again. My memory in the dream feels decent and I perceive all the visual details vividly but physical sensations are faint.

As I walk between two buildings, I start feeling some kind of arousal but successfully repress it. Instead of letting myself give in to an urge of making myself grow, I start trying to fly. Unable to fly, I am more leaping in large bounds of varying gravity each time. At some point I lose a bit of lucid awareness but I realise this and so I regain some clarity. Eventually I slip away into non-lucidness again and "wake up" falsely, into some other dream segment.

Then I am in a sofa bed with S; she seems needlessly concerned, anxious. This looks like the room me and H have stayed in, when I've visited my parents; it feels like old home, anyway. Thinking I'm actually awake, I try to ignore her a bit and I take my phone out to write down my dream, starting on some detail. But I stop because I'm interrupted by H, who's prompting me to get up as he comes into the room. We discuss something about our day coming ahead.

(recall gap?) Still in the same place, I am playing some game? Something about the original DOOM. Then I realise it's 3PM somehow, and wonder why or how it got so late, kind of in shock. But I don't dwell on it very long. (missed a perfect cue here)

(recall gap)

In some kind of ship, something about a fridge and some chemicals, including screenwash?

Notes:

- I mostly repressed the urge for growing because I always end up feeling like lucidity makes me want to do sexual things, which is fine, but at the same time I also want to focus on other things. Many times I've tried falling asleep with painting, or even art in general, in mind as a lucid objective just in case I ever do become lucid, since it's rare for me.

- After I became lucid, I have some recall that after the two buildings there was a cityscape past a dip (river?) but also a sort of digital-looking existence, like in some old 2000s 3D cartoons. There was something bizarre and unusual about the background, anyway, as well as some other kind of foot bridge.

- The manner in which I became lucid was unusual, not that I have a great deal of samples to compare with.

Monday Night, 6/1/20

Finally broke my dry spell and got a lucid! Didn't last long but I'm happy for the change. I recalled a ton of dream plot from last night but I'll skip to right before the lucid section:

I was running down a deserted street in a suburban neighborhood, accompanied by a DC named "Chris", an in-dream boyfriend of a few months according to my dream memories. We'd just finished some schenanigans that ended with me shoving him behind a bush in front of his dwelling so he could finish getting dressed without the neighbors seeing him half naked. Don't ask Anyway we were laughing and running down the street and I started taking some leaps and jumps into the air as I ran because I was feeling quite happy and energized. I found that each jump carried me quite high, and I started to test just how high I could go. Soon I was floating up into the air. "Flying means dreaming." I muttered to myself because that sounded like a familiar phrase somehow. "Wait, I'm flying, so I'm dreaming!" I said. I glided along and spun around a bit.

"Woah, look what you can do!" Chris said from where he was running on the ground.

"You can do it too!" I told him, grabbing his hands and pulling him into the air. I let go and twirled him around in the air by making a circular motion with my hand. Right around then I heard my alarm start beeping. Chris and I stared at each other for a moment then the dream started to fade.

When I opened my eyes I had that heavy, difficult to move feeling that told me I could still go back into the dream if I wanted to, if it weren't for the fact that I had to get up to turn off the alarm. A little annoyed, I broke the connection to the dream by moving and went to turn it off. Tried laying down again but was too awake by then to get back to sleep.

Spoiler for Additional Notes:

Throughout the earlier dream I noticed a few strange things. Two or three times where items appeared as if by magic when I knew I didn't have them but looked for them anyway, my dream sign of a yet another toilet with no privacy that I could see from another room, and clocks multiplying from just one to three of them on a wall, all with conflicting and rapidly changing times. Then once I started flying that phrase "flying means dreaming" popped into my head the way a catchy commercial jingle might. It's a phrase I've repeated to myself in waking life many times, especially when going over old records for missed opportunities. A few moments after saying it to myself in the dream the actual meaning sunk in. I haven't done much with mantras in the past, but I think I'll be focusing on them more now that I've experienced the potential benefit first hand - and almost by accident!

I am outside somewhere. I almost feel like I’m at the end of a road or a path, possibly through a neighborhood and/or the outlying area. There are a few trees and a single, smaller wood building. Outside the building there is a trampoline with a bungee system. I watch a few kids of different ages take turns jumping and doing flips and tricks. Now, I am hooked up and jumping. I try to jump high but it proves difficult now matter how I keep trying. There’s a guy - an employee?- standing, watching. He offers no form of help and really looks like he’d rather be elsewhere. After a bit, I think I manage a front flip.

I am outside somewhere in what looks like a marsh. The water brilliantly reflects the sky, making it hard to tell how deep it is. It’s also hard to tell what/where the land is, as the plants are lush and thick. I am walking through this, giving in to the inevitability of my feet sinking into the water at some point. I still try to avoid it as much as I can, and at one point I am jumping higher, farther, and slower than is humanly possible. This marshland is really peaceful and beautiful. Now, I’ve ended up on the edge of a forest, traveling inward. It’s gotten darker quicker than I expected, and I feel a brief pang of fear as I don’t have a light or a sense of direction.




I’m in an unfamiliar college building and walk into Mike Holmes’ class (different than his real class), finding it full when I thought it would be over. I see my empty seat at the high desks and take it. Now, I am presenting a model - a plain, rectangular, multi-floor shopping mall. I don't think I've ever actually seen this model until now, and I'm only talking about its simplicity as if it is its biggest asset. He seems to like it.

I got lucid once tonight. Went to bed around 9:15 P M and finished the outline around 7 A M. I was up a little late, playing one more Pokemon battle! But I am using Pokemon battles to practice my episodic memory.

(zzz)

Round 1 of dreams.

I think I remember something with Goku, but only vaguely.

I remember being at a 12 step meeting. There were people from my high school there. I was thinking or sharing about how I have a good amount of sober time. Most other people there seemed in their first few months.

A woman sitting near me started to dig a pen into my chest or shoulder or something. It kinda hurt. I tried to get her to stop. Then some people behind me started taking pictures of me with their cell phones. They were all laughing. I tried to get them to stop.

It became a fight scene kind of thing, where I was being chased. There was something about how 2 guys caught me in an alley, or between a big truck and a building, and were going to beat me up. I think I imagined powering up and sending them flying away.

The fight/chase ended and I was walking along. I walked over a narrow cement thing, maybe like something at a skate park. I was thinking of being linked mentally to J B.

I also remember a part where I was with a group of people. So I said, "I am a [diety] named Rock." I might have said "Greek [diety]." I said it in kind of a deep voice, like Gaston's voice. I think I felt silly or embarrassed after. I thought it would sound cool, but I just felt silly.

I was walking out of their area when I noticed that they were enclosed in giant wire mesh tents. There was a zipper I unzipped to walk out. "Are these faraday cages?" I asked, wondering why in the world they would be using computer labs inside a faraday cage. "No," they said. "If they were faraday cages, we couldn't have all this equipment in here." I continued to walk out.

I recalled those and then went back to sleep, still re-remembering them later. My memory is definitely leveling up!

(zzz)

Round 2 of Dreams.

I remember something in the beginning with Pokemon cards. Me and/or others trading and playing them.

I remember this part where I was laying in a bed in the yard. Like my grandmother's apartment complex. There was a dog I kept looking at. The dog looked back at me and I panicked. 'Oh no! If it sees me looking at it, it will come over here!' I was afraid of the dog, and tried to pretend I wasn't looking. Eventually the dog kept walking away.

I remember being at an A C A meeting kind of thing. I was the chair person. I read the format for the meeting. But then I realized that everyone was directing their comments to a woman in the front of the room. I was just sitting in the back. 'Oh no!' I thought. 'I am supposed to sit in the front to read the format, so they will direct their comments to me.' So, I headed for the front.

When I got up there, I said, "That sure was silly of me." And, "It is okay to do something silly." I remember hearing some comments like what I hear in A C A meetings as well as making my own comments.

After the meeting, I was in the back of the room again, doing some kind of opposite hand writing. I had folded sheets of computer paper into segments. My opposite hand was making small letters with a brown felt tip marker.

I remember asking someone for help or comments on what I'd done so far. I felt good about the writing. I remember thinking something about pushing or forcing myself to do it. There was a guy who came to comment on it, but I didn't like his comments. I kind of rejected the feedback and went on working on the writing. I realized I didn't need anyone's feedback. I also said something about how the writing comes from the left or right hemisphere of the brain.

There were some women sitting nearby. I remember I had my wallet. There was much more money in there than usual! Without thinking much, I put it out on the table and just looked through the money. Then I realized the women would think I was trying to show off, and felt embarrassed or misunderstood. I wished I hadn't taken out the money.

I remember walking along a road. I saw one or two people smoking. I was out of smell range and tried to run behind some buildings to ensure the smell didn't reach me.

Then I was in someone's back yard. Kind of like J R's. I think there was a young teenage kid coming home from school, but he was going to smoke before his parents got home, so they wouldn't know.

I wasn't aware it was a dream, but I was able to fly up onto his roof. I imagined that he saw me up there, and then I flew away. He would think I vanished or teleported, and be really amazed.

I woke up and recalled those. Then I re-played all the dreams, rounds 1 and 2, in my mind, to form "solid" memories. When I went to re-remember round 2 in the morning, I could re-remember the end, but it took an extra moment to get to the part about the meeting. I just kept thinking, "I know something was there. I know I remembered it." And eventually it came back to me. Round 1 was easier to re-remember because the part where I said I was a diety came to mind right away.

While I was up to use the rest room, I took 100mcg Huperzine-A and 300mg Alpha-GPC Choline.

Oh! Another memory came to mind. Wow! Well, I remember someone trying to sell me something. I had a stack of white papers. At first they seemed blank. The next time I looked through, instead of blank pages, there were lots of packets with print all over them. Forms to fill out and informational packets. I figured I had just not noticed them, but it was actually the dream doing the thing where the words can morph when I look away and look back.

(zzz)

Round 3 of Dreams.

I remember a bunch of people were guests at nana's. One guy was going outside to smoke. I panicked and tried to make sure all the doors and windows were closed. Once they were, I considered talking with him from the other side of the glass. We could still talk, but his smoke wouldn't reach me.

I remember someone showing me their coloring book. It had small square pages. They said how once they colored a page, they couldn't look back at it. They had to keep moving through the coloring book in sequence. The first third of it, or so, was colored. He seemed really happy with his coloring book.

We were room mates in the kids room at my nana's house. The one where the computer room is now. There was a moment when I wanted to tell him, "Wait! This is a false awakening!" But I didn't think of that until I was between dreams. Round 3 was a marathon of dreams and there were earlier parts i couldn't remember.

I had another false awakening where I was going to write down my dreams. I had my reclining chair and lap top. Some music was coming from Aunt C's room. I had the understanding that other people were guests at nana's house. So, I went to get my ear muffs.

My sister was my room mate in this dream. I felt bad because she didn't have the same hearing protection as me. She showed me her ear plugs. They were made of play dough, plastic wrap, and little puffy balls of fabric stuff. Multi-colored. I knew they weren't the real deal like my ear plugs. "I will get you a pair," I said. But when I looked, none of my ear plugs looked fresh. I even had a red white and blue swirly colored pair. 'I might have to get her a pair tomorrow from home,' I thought. I felt sorry for her that she was using such ineffective hearing protection, and didn't even know.

I was about to go to write on my lap top when I looked out to the hall way. Lots of people were walking by. 'That's different,' I thought. 'What are all those people doing, running around at night?' Then I noticed F was running through the hall. She had a beard! 'Oh! It's a dream!' I thought. That was definitely a dream-induced lucid dream.

I followed F to nana's room. I wanted to talk to her! But people kept blocking me. She went into nana's bathroom and I couldn't get through.

I decided to go downstairs and outside. I didn't have to do any stability techniques at all. It was all perfectly stable on its own, for quite a while! I walked down the hall. Two people were running down the hall behind me. Not chasing me, just running.

The thought crossed my mind to crouch down on all fours, in a table top position, and trip them. I did it at the top of the stairs. Sure enough, they tripped over me, and went flying down the stairs. They landed with a bang on the ground, sprawled out and in pain, on the next floor down.

I felt really bad about that. 'That was so mean,' I thought. 'Even though its a dream, I know that was too mean.' I put out my hand. 'Heal!' I thought. The two of them got up and ran off. I felt less confident in my healing power, and wasn't sure if it really worked.

I went down the stairs and finished going outside, out the back kitchen door. I flew up. Where nana's pool is, there were lots of trees. They were kinda like palm trees, but with yellow and brown and golden looking leaves. I flew up above them.

I really needed to use the bathroom! I landed and used the bathroom on the dirt, in the middle of the dream. (I didn't wet the physical bed.) Aunt B was sitting nearby with someone else. She kind of scoffed. I tried to ignore that, and flew up again. After I used the bathroom in the dream, I felt some relief, but I hadn’t really wet the bed. It makes me wonder if the whole feeling of needing the bathroom was just an illusion in my dream body, rather than a physical need.

So, I was flying up in the air. 'Maybe I will just go straight to outer space!' I thought. So I put my arms out in front of me like super man, and flew up. 'Wow, I am really gaining altitude,' I thought. I felt I was going really fast.

'My shoulders might get tired if I keep my arms up too long,' I thought. 'I will put my arms down, and still fly.' So, I did that, and kept flying. I felt a good flight speed.

There was a pinkish cloud in the sky with writing in it. I don't remember the words. But after a while, I looked down, to see how tiny the Earth looked beneath me. 'Huh?!' I thought. As I looked down, the pool and everyone down there were only like 20 feet below me.

I surrendered and just floated back down to the ground. 'I will use the pool!' I thought. 'I could do a really reckless jump off the diving board!' Where the diving board usually is, there was just a little blue platform at water level. A young child was jumping off of it into the water. 'I need to jump from some place higher,' I thought.

'Ah! The ladder rail!' I went to the rail of the ladder, which was a few feet high, and I guess I jumped in. I don't remember clearly. I do remember doing some wide grip dips on the edge of the pool, with my eyes closed, and thinking, 'This is hurting my shoulders, even in a dream!' Then, when I went to where I expected the ladder to be in waking life, it was right there in the dream, too. That's pretty amazing. I guess I swam in that pool so much as a child that my dreams replicate it with great accuracy and consistency.

I climbed out from the ladder. Then I noticed a really tall tree trunk, but it had a flat top like it had been cut. It was at least 10 feet tall. I jumped to the top. Before I could dive into the pool, I saw that there were other tall trees with flat tops, and then a mountain of logs much taller.

'I could practice my flight skills by aiming for the flat surfaces, instead of just flying aimlessly into space,' I thought. 'So I will!' My aim was good. I could jump from one flat top to the next. I felt myself gradually gaining altitude again. 'Maybe I will just climb these logs all the way into space.'

Then, one of them appeared to be wobbly. 'Uh-oh!' I jumped to it anyway, thinking/hoping it was the only wobbly one. 'Uh-oh!' It wasn't the only wobbly one. I jumped from one flat top to the next and then the whole mountain of logs toppled. There were also orange protein jugs piled up there. They all toppled down.

The people on the ground went running. "Ahhh!" They all cried out. When I got to the ground, I ran to the front yard to escape. I knew they would be mad at me!

I forgot if I woke up briefly, or if the dream just transitioned. But I found myself watching two people talk about popsicles. One woman ate a popsicle. The other guy ate more of them, really fast. Every time, he said, "I like this one!"

I remember a scene where I was writing a dream.

I remember a thing about people selling pills. They had all these pill bottles. They said the pills were to help someone become a good lawyer. They had all sorts of names. I think they were supposed to be nootropics. One bottle had a clear side where I could see little white crystals, like sea salt. It said "Toxic" on the side, on a purple label. There was more detail to that part which I forgot. Something about limiting the amount of supplements per day.

I remember a part where I had a funny red and yellow hat. It said something like, "M S C," on it. Other people with me had similar hats and shirts. I asked one person what MSC stood for, thinking there might be some kind of psychic download of information that I could verify in waking life. But the answer seemed silly. I forgot exactly what it was.

We went along from store to store. This part was much more detailed but I didn't remember it in full. I remember in one store, they had some food on the shelf. I was aware it was a dream, so I kept making little hints, hoping my fellow dream figures would catch on. They didn't seem to notice it was a dream.

We got to another store and I was busted for having stolen the MSC hat. "I will just give it back to you!" I pleaded. "Please don't make me be in trouble. I just didn't know what to do with it." I handed the hat and other stolen clothes over to the police man. He was wearing a dark blue uniform. When I looked down, I saw that I was wearing a dark blue police uniform, too, with a badge and everything! 'How am I gonna explain this one?' I thought.

I looked at both of our feet. I had on black boots. He had on similar black boots, too, except they were elevated by black ice skate blades. 'That's interesting,' I thought. 'There's no ice in here.'

An African American woman came in. Someone was laying on an examination table. Maybe I was seeing myself from outside at this point. "We will give him an X-Ray like when they are checking our mini for a baby!" She said. I think "mini" meant "womb". "That will determine if he stole the clothes!"

I was found to have stolen them, and put into a coffin, and dropped into the sea. I felt like I was watching a show. Even though I wasn't the one in the coffin, just watching it made me feel all this claustrophobia.

Luckily, a friend had snuck along with me. He could move in and out of the coffin and survive underwater. He positioned the coffin inside a sunken ship kind of thing, and then brought back some biscuits. "Here, eat these biscuits," he said. "It will keep your heart rate down." I guess the carbs would kind of sedate me so I wouldn't feel so bad about being imprisoned in the coffin.

'If its my dream, why can't I just teleport outside the coffin?' I thought. But, I didn't have the powers at that time.

Some how that dream ended. I am not sure if there were more details or if it just transitioned. I found myself in Aunt C's room. I knew it was a dream, but I really, really needed the bathroom again! I didn't want to wake up, though.

Another dream figure appeared to advise me. He said I could go to the bathroom in Aunt C's room, and then my physical body would sleep walk to the bathroom at the same time, go, and then sleep walk back to bed, so I could continue dreaming. I really believed that this was going to work, and I would never have to wake up from a dream to use the bathroom again.

I went to Aunt C's bathroom and saw two toilets. One was a urinal, on the left. The other was a toilet, on the right. I also thought that my physical body was sleeping in Aunt C's room so that made me really not want to wet the bed. And I thought that my physical body was positioned exactly where my dream body was in relation to the toilets.

'I know that in waking life, there's a sink on one side, and a toilet on the other,' I thought. 'So, which side corresponds to the physical toilet?' It would have been the left, but I chose the right side, which was a toilet in the dream, but a sink in waking life. I peed all over the place. It wasn't easy to aim in the dream! I felt some relief after, and hope it worked. there were little trinkets all over the place, including on the toilet seat, that I knocked over.

I noticed myself in the mirror. I had a short brown mushroom cut. 'Thats not me!' I thought. 'I have long hair and a beard.' I knew it was a dream, and continued on.

'What should I do now?' I thought. 'I won't need to wake up for a while, so I could do anything I want!' While I used the bathroom, the dream had even done this thing where the bathroom light was flickering. It looked like my vision could be flickering between two worlds. I was really convinced that I had sleep walked to the bathroom, went, and sleep walked back to bed, to continue dreaming. Did I really wet the bed? Let's find out... (Cliff hanger!!!)

'I know!' I thought. 'There was a party here before. I will go downstairs and get some food.' So I walked and flew down there. My dad was talking to my uncle. "Everyone is off doing their own little party!" he said with some scorn. My Uncle J was there. I remember seeing him for a moment. On the counter, there were rectangular packs of muffins with blue packaging. They had tiny muffins. I grabbed a pack and flew upstairs.

'Wait!' I thought. 'What if I'm really in the physical world, and I just think I'm dreaming?! I would really regret eating this." So, I did a finger palm test.

looking at the back of my left palm, I didn't see a finger poking out. 'Uh oh!' I thought. 'Wait, let me check the other side.' When I looked at the other side, my right pointer finger was buried in my left palm up to the second joint. It just wasn't poking out the other side. 'Interesting,' I thought. 'Never had it happen that way before.'

I continued eating the muffins, just enjoying them. I think I got one or two bites before the dream ended. I guess just relaxing and eating the muffin caused the dream to end, while some degree of stress or action seemed to keep it going? Or maybe it was just time for it to end. I would like the dream to last, even if I do absolutely nothing but sit back and relax and look around.

I remember being in my bed, and staying still, to recall the dreams. I must have still been in the phase because another dream began. In this one, I was watching someone like Beerus sleeping on his special planet. He woke up and saw a giant cloud up above, shaped like a dog's head and body. 'Oh no! I must position my body like the dog's body in the cloud!' he thought, and hurried to copy the posture.

It must have been some kind of ritual. There was a crow like character, coming from the left side of the "screen" with a firey torch. They had a sash around their waist like Beerus shoulder armor, with the stripes. There were lots of torches lit behind them, too.

I woke up from that special bonus episode of the dream marathon and stayed still, thinking of the dreams. My body felt really heavy, and I had no urge to fidget for a while. I couldn't tell if I had wet the bed. When I finally got the urge to stretch a little, I tried to feel around to see if I had wet the bed.

I didn't! What a relief. It was a close call.

Well, I am glad to be done typing those! I have been watching some cartoons lately and I feel inspired to try to make a comic from my dreams. When I recalled my dreams I kind of imagined them as a comic book.

Like usual, I did my outline first, then typed them in full. I am finishing it now right at 10 A M. I am trying to get all the dreams written in full before going off and doing other stuff, just so that my biggest task of the day is completed. After my dreams are written up in full I can kinda relax a little easier.

Hide and seek

---

I was running around some old, abandoned farmstead. It was really foggy all around. I was chased by a strange horse that tried to eat me. I was running away from it, avoiding obstacles and climbing up buildings. In several places I saw some glowing shards, picking them up made the surroundings brighter. I jumped down from one of rooftops and the horse immediately attacked. I pointed at it with my thumb and it illuminated the horse like a flashlight. The beast was afraid of light and escaped, but whenever it came back to darkness, it tried to attack me. I ran into a barn and climbed up a wall. The horse turned into an evil clown. I tried to climb higher so it won't get me, but mistakenly collapsed a wall on it and escaped.

---

---

DILD

I was about to leave my house, when I met some girl entering it. . I told and gestured her to leave, but it only made her clothes disappear. She stared at me confusedly. With another gesture, I made her breasts grow bigger, then another one appeared and shouted that she'll make me end the same. I just left my house and got to a road outside, thinking if this is a dream. I made a reality check and moved on. I tried to fly, but couldn't. I couldn't jump too high as well. I recalled one of advanced tasks of the month and looked at the sky. Instead of moon or sun, there was a strange mix of them. I tried to turn the moon blue, but it didn't work. Then I thought about visiting one of my pals. I tried to get there with high jumps or flying, but they weren't working too well. Instead I found a way to traverse far distances with just a few steps. Looking around on my way, I noticed that everything looked like more than ten years ago. I got to my pal's house and met her brother. I asked him where she went - apparently she was with parents on backside of the house. I noticed that she's only like 4 or 5 years old when I got there. I thought that I'm younger like all the DC's I saw, but I wasn't changed at all. I sat on a bench, and the dream ended.

#5 LD this morning.
I realize that I am not doing the nose plug breath RC enough during the day because that's not how I realized lucidity in the dream. I jumped and was expecting to fly, but didn't so I kept jumping and then just went higher and higher until I grabbed a ceiling beam or outside power line. It could be that this was the message that my unconscious wanted to send me was that I had to put some physical effort into reaching my "higher power."

Or it could be that I was just not practicing my RC enough during the day. I did have the thought that I really should stop and make that tea, but again there was so many people, so much action, so much chaos and busyness in the midst of the LD that I forgot the tasks I wanted to do. I was lucid, but allowing the dream to just carry me away.

More details are in the written journal. Other characters: toddlers, toddler Tasia, neighbors, children of old friends, repairman

Last night, bed 10:30pm. Took a long 2-3 hr nap in the afternoon, till 5-6pm or so.

3;05am - 2x300 Alpha GPC
4:37 - up for WBTB
5:08 - 2x4 mgs Galantamine and sofa time

Had a long lucid, estimate 45+ min. Woke up after 8am.

I got a head rush quite fast, wasn't sure I will be able to fall asleep to coincide with that. But I guess I did. Had a strong headrush and falling backwards sensation, at least 3 times throughout the 45+ min experience.

Had an awesome beginning of a lucid, but all I remember is how incredibly happy I was, grinning from ear to ear. Have no clue what I did, but remember thinking "this is good, or finally", or something to that effect. Anyway, i love that exhilarating feeling.

I started with trying to rotate my dream body as I normally do, and added some hand and leg movements.

I spent most of the dream outside, walking through large cities.

1. Modern city, skyscrapers, tons of DCs on sidewalks. There was a plot. Some huge monster was coming and people were running. I decided to spin to change the dreamscape. I actually pulled it off and got to another city.

2. Second, even more modern city. I think here I tried the April TOTM - point at a DC, yelling Abracadabra and see what happens.

I did this to at least 8 different DCs. I remember the last one. Businessman walking fast with a clipboard under his arm. As I yelled and pointed at him, he stopped, gave me a quizzical look and kept walking. Couple times I remember thinking "what is gonna happen to them?", but nothing happened. They all stayed the same and went on with their business. I wondered if I am suppose to do some magic, but I figured it's the spell that's suppose to do it.

3. Trying to fly up to the space, but not having any luck. Looking for a spaceship to take me there. No luck.

4. Getting up to the skies, but not too high. Trying to see the stars, it took them a while to show up in full beauty.

5. Came up to a group of young people on the floor. They said in their culture, there is only s*cking. I told them we also do f*cking. They seemed intrigued.

6. Jumping, gradually higher and bigger distances. Didn't jump over a building yet.

7. There was this girl and for some reason I kissed her. She kept her mouth shut and I was ok with that. Then I though wait a minute, no, and let my tongue loose. It felt incredibly real.

I have to remember to stop and retell myself previous parts of a dream, so I remember it at the end.

“Jumping from the roofs”

I am in a large apartment complex with Sadist Simon. We are in an attic room that protrudes from the otherwise diagonal walls, the windows here are large and fully open and just under the windows there is a small area of the roof that isn’t as diagonal as the rest, in fact it is almost plane. We need to get to the ground and there is a fair amount of distance to the grass below. The weather seems cloudy, but dry and bright and we are going to town once we get down.

We exit the room and get to the plane spot. At first I look down and think I can simply jump it, but then I get anxious and nervous and think I will most certainly break my legs if I do so. We are on the third (second in Danish terms) floor and the building extends on both the right and left side, sort of forming a horseshoe of the grass below.

Simon then walks out on a very narrow black ledge on the part of the building complex extending on the right. He does a small jump and land on a wider black ledge a level down before he jumps to the grass.

I am impressed and slightly jealous of his courage. I walk out on the plane roof – very tentatively – and weigh my options. On the left hand side there is a series of roof tops that progressively make their way towards the grass out towards the road at the end. I make a short run and jump onto this roof section and find it smooth sailing from there.

The dream repeats once or maybe twice, with increasing levels of anxiety towards stepping out onto the plane section of the red tiled roof and Simon constantly in a confident manner making the small jump that I don’t dare doing. At one point he mentions “I just trust that I will land safe”.

“A weed field and cops”

I am coming out of a forest in the middle of the night. Someone is with me, it feels like an apprentice, student or disciple of some sort. It is dark, and it feels cloudy – no stars. In front of me I see a long rectangular field, that seems recently ploughed though also with sprouts of plants coming through.

In front of the field is a road, which runs next to the field and white farmhouse at the end of the field. The road continues down through the forest from where we are stepping out. I look up and see a couple of cars driving down the road taking parking next to the field, close to the farm house. What stands out is the bright blue sirens blaring from atop the vehicles.

“Ah the police is finally here” I proclaim to my assistant.
“What are you going to do?” he responds in a nervous and concerned tone of voice.
“Well I am going to go and talk to them, put the cards on the table” I say, mustering as much relaxation as I can. I am feeling slightly nervous myself, but also recognise that there is really nothing I can do aside from being honest about the situation.

So I walk up and find a couple of officers. One of them is a woman, I think the other is a man. I feel they are tense and uneasy, so I hold up my hands in a gesture of surrender putting as much as I can into displaying a body language of truce and no-harm as possible. The officers relax a little as they approach in a cooperative manner and start their spiel.

“You are under suspicion for growing skunk, and it seems obvious you are guilty.” He introduce. And it seems fair in all honesty. As he is talking the fields we are now waling in have changed to accommodate several metre tall cannabis plants.
“Ah yes officer, let me assure you that I will provide full cooperation” I start out. And then I think of a loop-hole. The officers think they have struck gold, but they are only interested in skunk. What they don’t realise is that all the plants in the field are simply cannabis/hemp plants and not illegal.
“I do have a couple of skunk plants in the greenhouse. Follow me” I say.
They follow and we get to the very end of the indoor section of the grow chamber. Right next to a white door with 8-10 square windows in it is a small square pot of cannabis. The plants are very small and I lift up the pot and hand it to the officer nearest. “Here is the skunk. Now as for the rest of the plants they are industrial hemp plants and as such not illegal, as you surely know.” I say and while the officer look at me confused and disappointed, but also defeatedly accepting my argument. I think to myself that they have no idea that I can get more than high using the industrial stuff seeing as my tolerance have been lowered considerably since my Ayahuasca exposures.

Dream ends.

“Get out of my room”

I am standing in my room. It is a rectangular space, very bright white walls from the sun shining through the panoramic window that spans the entirety of the end wall. My door is open and all of a sudden my uncle Kurt comes rushing in. I get embarrassed. The room is very untidy, there is loads of stuff on the floor and both the doors to the floor-to-ceiling closet lining the wall opposite the window are open and it is a mess in there. I step away from looking at my closet and turn to face him and as I do my father comes in close pursuit of my Uncle. I step up and start walking towards them. “Get out, OUT!” I tell them firmly as I raise my arms, stretch them out with palms raised towards my Uncle as I gently start pushing them back out of the room.

“Your room is very untidy!!” My dad starts, but I ignore it. I feel nervous and anxious, my heart is raising and my thinking seems flustered. I see this as an opportunity to stand up for myself and claim my own space, and do with it what I want.

As soon as they – in particular my uncle – are out of the room the doors slam shut violently. I am shocked and experience a surge of adrenaline travelling up my body and I open my eyes widely. I look about as the thought arise this must be because of the draught, and as I turn my head even further over left shoulder I see that the window is indeed wide open and I get the picture that this is the case for the entire house.

The dream ends.

“You are the tank”

I am with a small party of people in a typical WoW style set-up, though I think we may only be four. I think I am both of the people having the discussion that plays out in the scenario, though it is observed from an external disembodied POV.

We are standing in a somewhat dark living space. It may be a combined kitchen, lounge and living room and there is loads of different objects placed on the tables and other surfaces around us. We have just returned from a raid or a mission of some sort and we have had success, though there is a feeling of excitement running around, a result of our recent experiences having been hairy and risky.

I am discussing with a tall, lean (but muscular) and black haired guy. In writing this I think I take on the agency of the other person, though still from a disembodied perspective. I am explaining to the tall guy that he actually took on the role of protecting us. He seems a bit disappointed, or maybe surprised at this and we rummage around in the space and find a shield. I hook it on a 2D figure of the guy, who is now also the person and across his chest is written something along the lines of “Focus your attention on me, I shall protect my allies” or similar. I walk about a little more until I find a helmet and put it on the figure, finalising his initiation as the tank.

Then I walk about trying to find DPS gear, which starts out with a black leather tunic.

The dream ends.

“My men have it handled”

This dream primarily took place from a bodiless observer perspective.

In this snippet I am involved, might even be leading a band of outlaws. We are on horses and approach a transport protected by a fair amount of warriors on horses. There is of course a medieval feel to the scenario, which takes place in a fairly barren – with sporadic blotches of grass –, rocky and jagged mountain pass. It feels like early forenoon under a sunny cloudless sky.

As we approach the carriage the dream shifts immediately into the wagon. In it is a fat, balding, hedonistic and cynical noble, lying down amongst pillows blankets and mattresses in soft warm lighting. He is dressed in a soft grey robe of sorts and he seems to be gorging himself on some sort of food. He oozes content for peasants and lesser subjects. He is approached by an advisor of sorts, who explains that the carriage has come under attack, with some concern in his voice. With some arrogance, and mild irritation at the disturbance the nobleman responds “Bah! This rabble is no match for my trained men.”

There is a shift in narrative. I am now embodied in one of the guardsmen protecting the carriage. I am standing on the road in the jagged scenery observing the carriage and horses driving away up a fairly steep mountain road. I am with my comrades and the noble and we have all been stripped down to our underwear – which is white boxers all around. In the air a heavy vibe of embarrassment and defeat is palpable. For some reason we have to climb a vertical strip of cliff, it is almost as a wall, as on the top it is completely flat and plane. From where I am climbing up I experience slight difficulty in getting up to the flat plane. A thin layer of snow covers the edges of the precipice and aside from this the planes are covered in a thin layer of water where the light grey surface of the rock doesn’t take up visual space. The wall-like cliff side I have just climbed curves backwards to my left and I get a vision of a castle-like town over my left hand shoulder. The embarrassment arise as a result of knowing that we now have to go back and report the encounter to our leaders here.

End of dream.

Ritual: I've had a bit of a dry spell lately, and even worse than the lack of lucid dreams has been the sensation of diminished overall awareness: my sleep lately has been distressingly ordinary. I'm still waking up frequently during the night, but now I can't even tell what time it is—usually I can guess accurately within ten minutes or so. When sleeping properly I always wake up a few minutes before my alarm, no matter what time I set it for, but lately the alarm has been waking me. I've been having an ordinary number of dreams, but they too are lacking even in rudimentary awareness. In the past, stressful periods at work have boosted my LDing, but I feel like maybe I'm getting a bit burnt out, so I've started using sleep as a form of escapism, instead of an opportunity for more interesting kinds of work. I've become a lazy sleeper!

Probably because of this lack of awareness, this time even when I started wondering if I was really dreaming, I continued to find the environment and events extremely persuasive and followed the plotline to its end. Only then did I take the time to deliberately RC. The only aspect of this that isn't disappointing is the fact that, once having noted I might be dreaming, I did manage to hold that thought and then come back to it, instead of just forgetting. I also felt as though my rational mind was functioning well in the way it recognized the dream sign, something that hasn't always been reliable.

The dream plot was based on waking life residue. Last night (in WL) around 1:30am we heard the sound of someone going through our trash bins outside the house, even though the bins are through a gate which, although it has no lock, clearly demonstrates a property boundary. Unfortunately there is no window through which to observe that area, and by the time I went out with a flashlight the person was gone.

The same thing happened in the dream, except that the person had left behind bags of newspapers, and I was worried they might contain criminal evidence. I wasn't sure if I should call the police, as I had already moved some of the bags, so my prints were now on them too. There were many more minor details and events that would only be tedious to record here, so I'll skip them.

Later the garbage-pickers come back, and I realize I can see them if I get the right angle through a window (not true in RL). I want to take pictures for evidence, but I have trouble pulling up the camera on my phone, normally a very simple operation. Even when I do get the camera working, it is too zoomed in and I can't frame the shot properly. I recognize these technical difficulties as dream signs, but at the moment I'm too caught up in events to RC.

The garbage-pickers leave before I can get a good shot, so I go around the front of the house for another try. The camera is still giving me trouble, and once again I notice how much it resembles a dream sign, even though this doesn't feel like a dream. After a few more minor incidents that plotline wraps up, and I now realize that I can give my full attention to checking whether or not I am dreaming. Everything has felt very real and convincing, but I know well how little that sensation can be trusted.

I jump... inconclusive. I came down quickly enough, but the jumping itself felt easier than I think it should, as though I am not lifting my full body weight. I jump a couple more times, trying to draw out the moment at the apex. It might actually be lengthening as I focus on it. My suspicion grows, I jump a bit more, and then sure enough, I find that I can pause at the top, hovering in the air. That clinches it. It was a dream all along.

What now? It's been so long since I've been lucid that I just want to explore and enjoy the environment. I look out the glass wall of the living room and see an expanse of snowy fields and pine forest stretching to a distant low mountain, utterly unlike the RL scenery. I feel satisfied with this prospect, so I fly through the glass without hesitation and start soaring over the landscape, looking down and enjoying the clarity of visual detail. I'm reminded of a recent conversation with a WL friend who also turned out to be an LDer, who mentioned that he prefers not to do tasks but would rather just fly around and enjoy the environment. Today that feels just fine.

I fly to the top of the mountain and land, hoping to explore on foot. There is a problem with scale, however: I am huge in relation to the mountain. My feet cover its entire upper surface. I take off into the air again, hoping I didn't crush too many trees and little creatures. The distorted scale now makes everything feel artificial, and the dream destabilizes. I exert will to remain in the dream state as it deconstructs, and for a moment I find myself flying through a black boundless space marked with thin white lines running horizontally and vertically in three dimensions. It strongly resembles the conception of virtual space in the movie Tron. I recognize that this is unconstructed dream space, and try not to let it disconcert me that the dream has faded, and I feel very close to being awake... I remind myself that if I should be able to enter a new scene if I can just be patient and maybe suggest something.

I'm trying to stay relaxed, so I imagine lying in a bath of warm water. This makes me realize that my flying feels like swimming so I use the idea. I am swimming underwater in a pool of water that is no different from my body temperature—that's why I don't feel it. And of course I can breathe underwater, because why not? These thoughts in mind, I now think I can see the glimmering underside of the water's surface just above my head, so I fly up and break it, preparing to find myself in a new scene. I notice how seamlessly my breathing remains the same as I transition from breathing water to air, and again this feels too artificial for my liking, but I try not to let it disrupt the dream.

I am in an empty tiled space containing a pool. The lining of the pool is made of identical square beige tiles as the walkway around it and the low walls bounding the space. It appears to be outdoor because the walls don't go up all the way, but there is no impression of any surrounding environment, much less sky or weather. It is still very vague and plain and artificial; perhaps it could be described as "semi-constructed dream space." I look around for something notable, perhaps a DC, and I begin to hear music. It is a simple melody on a plucked string instrument, like a medieval lute. I don't see anyone else, but vision isn't perfect now, so I keep listening and looking. The song ends, and a woman's voice says, "Thanks, I really enjoyed this one song." There is a kind of parenthetical remark appended to the sentence in the same voice that I perceive simultaneously, though I don't seem to "hear" it as literally as the words just spoken. The parenthetical remark is: "...after a moment's reflection." In ordinary text one could write it as:

"Thanks, I really enjoyed this one song (after a moment's reflection)."

But that wouldn't quite convey the effect that the parenthetical part was not spoken aloud, and that it had a kind of simultaneity with the statement itself.

Feeling confident that I will momentary see the singer, I keep looking around... and feel paws on my face, my real face. The cat has chosen just this moment to come back to bed, waking me. Damn!

Here is the dream from 2 days ago (the first of the three in a row).

Lucid Dream:

It was night and I was with Jeff walking on this path up a hill. We were looking for something (a museum, maybe). At one point I remember lifting up my legs (like when you're a kid holding your parents' hands and letting them swing you along). I think this made me go lucid because I was trying to figure out how I could be doing this while only holding one of Jeff's hands.

We got to the top of the hill. We were on a kind of covered patio. Behind us was a door. In front of us was a rail where we could look down at a large pool of water far below. I could also see a building and a dock by the water.

Jeff then says to me, "Did you notice how when we move our hair doesn't move in the wind?" I said, "Yeah, I did notice. I think that's because we're lucid." I then said, "I know a good way to find out for sure if we're dreaming. Let's jump off this and down to the water below. If our hair doesn't move, that means were dreaming."

Jeff agrees to jump with me. We then run to the edge and hop the railing. I didn't even think to try to fly. I feel super heavy and we fall fast. I notice feeling that very real feeling of my stomach lurching as I fall. The fall is long enough that I had the chance to look over at Jeff and see that his hair is perfectly still. I call out to him and point that out.

Finally we hit the water and sink quickly to the bottom like a heavy rock. I'm a hundred percent positive that this is a dream now, so I don't worry about breathing. In fact, I start to talk to Jeff under the water.


And that's all I remember.

I'm in a suburban area near my place, it's dusk and the summer. I'm lost and don't know where I am. I make it to the edge of a sports field. I'm balancing on large wooden planks, like bleachers or a workout stand. I jump to a table across from me, it's a massive pounce that surprises me. I make it to the wooden table. Jumping off of the wooden table I feel my left hip is stuck, I try to work it with my hands, did I hurt myself? I try to move it and it feels more and more uncomfortable. When I start to feel panic I wake up and see my hip was in a weird position.

I enter a place that looks like a small daycare center by a play park. It's a mental institution and there are some people with clear problems there. I walk around and bump into a young student adviser from school. She says that I'm going to be institutionalized for a week. She says she'll pay for it with her insurance and this makes me feel grateful but this surprises me anyway and I'm a little upset. Why? She says I should know that this is for my own good and I know in my heart why I should be observed for a week. I shrug and agree with her. It does make sense. (Did I have a tearful breakdown before?) As I get hunched in a corner of a room and get comfortable my mom comes in. Is she being institutionalized as well? I talk to her and it seems that she is visiting me. The young student adviser teases me, is my mommy visiting me in the mental hospital? I feel a bit embarrassed but the sting goes away fast, she was just teasing in a friendly way. I get out after only a day (?) and leave. I'm in the center of a small town, walking around a large building in early afternoon sunlight.

In my dream, I try to remember my dreams during the night (!) and draw a little man holding something. The thing is important.

I'm learning how to use a new computerized milling machine that works with DOS. There is a lot of different icons to look at. I try to think of something nice to make and a teacher says that I should make a blade for a turning machine. This confuses me but I like the challenge. I work and mill a long piece of square metal with another guy. In the hallway outside, it is a grey day outside. The walls are white and square. I talk to an older guy. We are going to infiltrate a cult. I say I'd be good at it, I've seen a lot of spiritual circles and know how they work. I talk quite a bit and worry I'm annoying the guy. I go to a desk that has two bowls of fruit. I take an apple and start eating it as I wait for the guy. He appears and sounds angry. Was I allowed to take an apple? He then says people are allowed to take fruit, just take the ones on the bottom first since they are older. I feel relief.

I was stressed about work. How am I going to complete all the obligations piling up this month, which is already getting shorter? I figured it would be best to prioritize. I should be able to finish the map in an afternoon if I get the right materials together. I thought about what I would need to finish it, and came up with vellum and archival paper. Fortunately I knew I already had these somewhere and was pretty sure where I had last put them, in a box in the storage area. I could see it in my mind's eye. I had woken up early and wanted to go retrieve them, but the rest of my family was still asleep.

My mother, brother, and father were all staying with me in the house and I didn't want to disturb them by walking through the building and rummaging around in boxes. I decided to go outside for a walk instead. I walked down the stairs, which were littered with all the discarded santa masks. This struck me as odd at first, but I reasoned we must have had a holiday party yesterday.

Outside it felt like early morning, and there was a narrow stream of clear water nearby. Next to the stream was a small building of naturally weathered wood, a sort of shed. Just after I entered it, it occurred to me that even though I know I'm awake, I should practice some RCs to instill good habits. No one else was around and there was no reason not to do a blatant one, so I jumped. Yes, just as I thought, it's obvious I'm awake, because that felt perfectly normal. But just for good measure I should do it a few more times in order to internalize the feeling of what a proper jump feels like in waking life.

So I jumped in the air several times in succession, concentrating on that critical moment at the apex, when the upward motion reverses and gravity takes over. I knew that I would be able to tell if I were dreaming because the timing would be off, that moment would feel drawn out slightly, extended. Hmmm.... it isn't, is it? Was that a touch of hesitation at the top? No, I'm pretty sure this is natural. I've just never concentrated on it sufficiently before, my attention is making it seem more pronounced.

And yet... it does seem a trifle too long. Could it be...? What if...? I had just begun to seriously consider the possibility that I might be dreaming after all, when I woke up in bed. Only very slowly did I come back to myself and realize that all the things I had taken as evidence that I was awake were wrong or askew, signs of false memory. The building and surroundings that seemed so familiar at the time were pure dream space, unlike any place I know in waking life. It made sense at the time that my whole family was there, but the only accurate part is that I'm currently sharing a hotel room with my mother. The anxiety about work is real enough, but it was only well after I had written down my initial notes that I realized that in the dream I had felt responsible for an additional project that didn't exist in WL, in addition to the real ones. Finally, as I initially lay in bed reviewing the dream, I didn't even notice how I slipped back briefly from genuine waking into an FA, and briefly found myself another place entirely, which only transitioned again to lying back in bed once I reached the point where I felt I had enough grasp of the memory to get up and write.

I walk down a grassy hill and find a bunch of super heroes stretching and warming up for some kind of saving the world mission. They practice flying, and other super hero powers. Wishing to join them and help with this, I demonstrate my own abilities by jumping hundreds of feet into the air, and almost flying. My powers are not as well developed as theirs, and they don't let me join them for my own safety. At least not until I make more progress. They all fly away, quickly disappearing into the sky.