Recent DJ Posts

PART 1 - DAY9

Starcraft 2 Day9 commentary, something about Mutalisks... real life story behind it...

ANALYSIS

Triggered by a comment on the DV forums about Day9 that I made shortly before bed.

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PART 2 - ZEN FOR BROTHER

My brother sees a commercial on TV for a Zen meditation program. It advertises increased productivity, he seems interested.

ANALYSIS

A manifestation of my feeling that my brother doesn't spend his time productively. I don't think it would catch his attention IRL.

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PART 3 - HARNESSES IN THE SKY

With mom and brother... high in the sky, like "top of a mountain" height... in harnesses suspended by cables. Sin (internet personality) teaches how use them properly. Scary and unpleasant.

ANALYSIS

A metaphor for a sense of risk... possibly some sort of preparation leading into "taking the fearful way" below.

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PART 4 - THE IMPENETRABLE PYRAMID

Playing Starcraft, losing to Zerg... there is a pyramid on the map, it's out of place, doesn't belong in the game... it's glowing a neon light purple, possibly pink. It's supposedly "impenetrable."

I hit it (suddenly I'm physically "inside" the game), and a wall caves in. I enter, it's dark, like a tomb to explore.

A giant skeleton statue lifts me off the ground ("telekinetically"), and pulls me flying up toward it.

Next there is a small bedroom... there are old clothes. The previous occupants are long gone, years and years ago.

To get to a narrow closet in the corner, I have to go around behind the bed - and giant sheets which take up half the room - which would be a difficult position to escape from if I had to... but I take the fearful way at each point.

The closet has 2 doors, one leads to next room. There are more clothes left behind, hanging on the closet hook. I look through them, check each one out, the colors.

Suspenders? Old country clothes, possibly farmer clothes...

ANALYSIS

Impenetrable pyramid - represents lucid dreaming, seems almost impossible, a glass wall, trapped in routine. The neon purple/pink represents excitement, emotional stimulation of going outside the norm.

Telekinetic statue - key factor is the sense of flight, reminds me of old childhood dreams.

Old bedroom, old country clothes - a return to my roots, re-experiencing familiar dream sensations from childhood. I remember dreams involving clothes coming to life from back then... this is the reason for the clothes, their oldness is an expression of how long ago I experienced these things.

Fearful way at each point - beginnings of lucidity, semi-conscious decision making!

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PART 5 - JEE AND KEE

Driving with Jee and Kee afterward, I tell them about the whole experience of breaking in and exploring super enthusiastically. I end with "yeah, it was quite a dream"... they don't respond, silent, then they start talking about something else.

Later, walking with them through a jungle area, I see this big (4-5 feet tall) colorful (mainly red, with others mixed) bird with shaggy feathers trying to jump upside down and catch a branch with its feet from the ground.

I say that I like the colors, Kee says the name of bird.

ANALYSIS

Ignored - probably just literal.

Jungle and bird - an expression of my focus on color earlier.

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PART 6 - TEACHER EMAILS

Class, teacher (50s, grey hair and beard, glasses, like "Durant") asks the class for their emails. He hands out sheets of paper for each student to write them on. I'm conscious that the girl sitting beside me might see mine.

One more seat over, "bioking" (email) guy who is obsessed w/chemistry. Mine has "king" in it as well, possibly also something to do w/bio...

ANALYSIS

Was "bioking" another dreamer? Everyone in the class? Have I been enrolled in some sort of "dream school"?

Taking my email - perhaps this part of my mind wanting to "keep in contact"...

Debating, in the analysis portion of these entries, whether to leave ambiguity ("this is possibly an expression of that") or to be more firm ("this means that, period.") Tried more firmness this time, will continue to experiment.

Also, with so much more remembered, it's necessary to write more in point form.

I used the voice recorder for the first time last night, and WOW. HUGE impact. This thing is KEY. Very interested to see how its use will develop over time...

PART 1 - CROCODILE DODGING WITH G

I'm walking through a water filled area with my friend G. I have to swim from one platform to another to stay above. When I get there, G informs me there are crocodiles in the water.

A bit further, walking along, a crocodile lunges out of a small puddle at me, about three times... but it's kind of moving in slow motion, and isn't coming at me full force, almost as if it's "pulling its punch."

I tell G that, "I need to get my old narcissism back, become A (old nickname from HS), I've become too understanding."

ANALYSIS

The crocodiles "pulling their punch" makes me think of a sheltered environment, being coddled, not exposed to "the real."

The narcissism bit seems literal. I actually do think that sometimes.

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PART 2 - CAPTURED

I'm walking home, turning a corner just down the street, it's dark... a shady character starts coming right my direction from the other side of the street.

When he gets close, I say, "you lookin'?" referring to drugs, to make him think I might be useful somehow, so he won't attack.

He says, "what you got?" I hesitate, wanting to leave options open, making sure he thinks I have something he wants so he won't attack. "Uh, could be anything..."

He realizes I'm lying and decides to mug me. I take out some money and say I'll leave it on the ground for him to pick up once he backs up a certain distance, to ensure I can escape.

He goes along with it at first and gets close anyway and holds me down. I'm held captive, and taken to his group's apartment. I look around for anyone who might sympathize with my plight, but no one shows any sign.

In the light I see the original attacker guy is buff, bulky, with a buzz cut. I remember one other guy, skinny, wife beater, tattoos. There were others, sort of a party atmosphere.

I'm able to get a look out a window, but I see that the next building is too far away to jump to, we're too high up.

I either escape or am rescued, I don't remember. I'm now at the apartment of the "good guys." Similar party atmosphere, everyone is just chilling. They're into magic.

I see someone who looks like someone I work with, K. She is a "good person" and would fit into this culture. It turns out to be her twin sister, my hope for some type of familiarity is dashed.

Someone suggests I call the cops. I wonder why I hadn't thought of that.

I'm on the street (downtown somewhere). I see a cop, 50s, gray hair, mustache, cop hat... I tell him what happened. I don't remember his response. I don't remember at what point in the timeline this took place, it may have been later.

I'm back at the "good guys" place, and the "bad guys" break in - turns out they know magic too, except they're way more powerful than the good guys with it.

The original guy who attacked me is riding a flaming horse. I'm helpless, and think this is probably it for me.

ANALYSIS

This is the second time in a row there's been a shady character who I've tried to fool by leading them on with drugs associated with this same corner near my home! The previous time was on July 30th, before I started recording my dreams online.

"I'm walking down the street to work, it's dark, a shady Muslim dude (in full gear) heads in my direction presumably to mug me. I distract him by asking if he knows where I can find $1000 of weed to play on his self interest. He goes along with it, says we would have to leave the country. We drive the rest of the way and park outside my work. I ask how I would contact him in the future to make him think I was interested in the long term, so that he'll let me go for now. He knew I was lying all along, however, and became angry."

I feel like trying to "trick" the "attackers" is what got me sucked into the web (captured in last night's case)... like I was being punished for being deceptive. They both went along with it at first... like a test to see how deep I would dig my own hole.

This may link up with the message promoting sincerity from the "free beer" dream two days back. I feel this is applicable to me in that I tend to be hyper-aware of managing the impression others have of me, fundamentally out of fear that they won't like me.

The message that stands out, in essence: being deceptive out of fear is a trap that creates your own personal hell from which no one else can ever save you. This must be my "conscience."

I should focus on cultivating honesty; asking myself more in making decisions, "Do I feel good about doing this?"

PART 1 - RICH FAMILY PIANO VISIT

I'm visiting some rich, "upper class" family. I don't know how I know them.

There is a mother - 50s, slim, narrow face, short brown cropped hair, well mannered but stern, a cold personality... and a daughter, who looks like someone I very vaguely know IRL.

The house seems to be based on two locations from my past, one from my childhood and one my father's current home. Kind of both at once, as dreams often seem to weirdly do.

I practice on their piano (in the kitchen area from my childhood house)... meanwhile in the next room, the mother is teaching the daughter piano (living room, right across - where there used to actually be a piano IRL).

At one point I crawl into the room toward the corner opposite from them (there is no other furniture other than the piano), where there is a picture of the daughter leaning against the wall on the floor. I "fix" the tilt of the picture. As I do, I'm more or less staring at the daughter. She pretends not to notice.

As I'm crawling back out, I realize that I was staring and that it must have seemed creepy, and think to myself that I should completely ignore the daughter for a while to compensate.

After a while the mother comes in and asks how I'm doing. I pick up on the subtext that it's time for me to go, and say that I was actually just about to head out.

As I'm leaving I notice I'm wearing a bulky green-ish jacket I've borrowed from them. I hesitate, wondering if they'll ask for it back, but suppose they let me keep it for now as it's raining outside.

I think the original reason I borrowed it had something to do with what took place before I arrived, some sense of danger, but can't remember. I remember something about playing in an orchestra...

On my way out (now based on my father's current home), where there is usually a closet by the front door, I notice it's a door into an entire room that is in fact a giant checkers board, with giant checkers pieces to play with and everything.

ANALYSIS

Piano is one of several arts I've been considering to spend my time on while not working on my meditation project, so I'm sure that association is primed in my mind.

Crawling into the room... this could certainly symbolize submitting to their "higher status."

Fixing the tilt of the picture... this could mean trying to improve her self image, perhaps repair damage done by the harsh mother figure.

The checkers room... this could refer to decadence, extravagance, this rich family having a whole room just for checkers.

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PART 2 - RAP ALBUM G

I'm talking to my IRL friend G about releasing a rap album. I say that I'm not super motivated to release one at this point, otherwise I would be "working my contacts," that it's "just a hobby right now."

ANALYSIS

Perhaps trying to qualify myself, essentially trying to prove, "I could if I wanted to."

PART 1 - PLAYING SC2 WITH G

Playing my friend G in Starcraft 2. They don't actually play IRL. This part won't make any sense to anyone who doesn't play...

I was Zerg at some points and Protoss at others... it's one of those weird dream effects where both are sort of true at the same time.

I expand twice with no army, they attack before I can make one and win.

We have a rematch, this time I'm careful not to over-extend myself, I make a bunch of Photon Cannons. We don't get to finish the game for some reason, it ends before any real battles happen.

ANALYSIS

The thing that stands out most to me is the symbolism of proactive/reactive, or offensive/defensive.

I would say I tend to act in a reactive way around this friend. Perhaps the game was a metaphor for this.

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PART 2 - WEBCAM WITH G

Next, G turns on a webcam. It's starting to get late. They are in some sort of party environment... loud music in the background.

At one point this music production guy that G is working with (in the dream) comes on cam. Short hair, black t-shirt, mid 30s, quite buff. Don't remember anything he says.

ANALYSIS

This seems to relate to the fact that IRL G "has things going on" in their life, while I'm still at a point of preparing for the future, without much of note happening in mine.

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PART 3 - WRONG TURN DOWN A LONG, WINDING ROAD

Now, it's dark. I leave the house, presumably where the above scenarios took place. I'm riding a bike, presumably headed "home" (wherever that is in this particular dream world.)

I take a long turn down a long, winding, isolated, spooky road. It goes on as far as I can see. There are bushes on either side. Once, maybe twice, an old guy (60+) passes me going the opposite direction in a car. I'm singing to myself out loud about how I don't want to get attacked.

At some point I realize I'm going the wrong way and turn around, right at a sharp U turn in the road.

As I do, a lanky older guy (40+) with glasses, narrow face and messy brown hair, possibly wearing a trench coat (or I may just be adding that retrospectively) starts following me. I stop and tell him to wait in place for a bit until I'm farther ahead, he does so. I have a rectangular knife for protection but don't have to use it.

ANALYSIS

I'm constantly thinking about what paths to take in life, planning my future, repetitively reevaluating the conclusions I come to. When I come to a conclusion I often jump "all in"; but often, I change my mind and jump back "all out." All or nothing.

On a symbolic level the first thing that comes to mind is that I almost decided to spend the next year hardcore studying online poker, but decided against it after hearing even the best can often go upwards of a full year with little winnings on a downswing.

Could have been a lot of time and effort spent in a less than optimal way, may also explain the sense of risk.