Recent DJ Posts

Apologies for not updating recently, The wifi at home is worse than dial up. Can't even load a webpage to update my dj.

Jamie dream (Almost a month ago?) I was standing outside somewhere with some family and saw my aunt smoking and standing by her Dodge caravan. Now I know she doesn't smoke so i'm really perplexed. I go to confront her on this. Someone calls behind me I look and at the end of the driveway is a woman with long brown hair and eyes light grey like a wolf. She's waving me down but somehow I don't recognize her, but I'm still focused on why my aunt is smoking so, I ignore the woman's "Ooh ooh, over here." and continue talking to my aunt. It wasn't until I woke up I realized it was a visit from Jamie.

Second dream I am furiously writing Jamie a really long Facebook message... Dear God, I sincerely hope I never have to do that again. It's been 5 years?!?!?!? Since I did such a thing and no response indicates that she likely doesn't want one either.

Dreams this week.

1. In this one I go to this park forest area in the middle of a city and hang out with people in the middle of the night. very vague on the rest of the details

2. Some skanky looking younger woman indicates she wants me to sleep with her. I take her number somewhat reluctantly, because i seem to be horny enough. But later in the dream and just message her that I'm no longer interested since I already have a girl coming in. (I think in the dream I was expecting Jamie to come into my life suddenly.

3. I am on a roadtrip in the middle of the night. I'm tired so I find an abandoned hospital looking place to stay the night in. While there a couple pulls up to spend the night as well. It's Victoria and her boyfriend (The victoria I worked with that didn't die from covid )

4. I find myself on a Date with a girl from India. We just get along really nicely. Can't remember much. just that she was leaning against a railing, we got talking and went for a coffee or something.

Seems like most of the dreams were trying to distract me from finding Jami in a dream... hmmm.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

My teacher comes to PT. While meeting some of his students, during a more relaxed moment, he calls me to sit with him at a table for a private conversation. He asks me how I am and does some small talk. He grabs my hand and we show more affection than what I think others should see. He comes closer to me and puts his arms around my shoulders. Says he doesn't care what others think. But the fact is no one around seems to see or care. Nobody is looking at us. He says something like he wants to know everything and I tell him "Then, let's go out for the whole day and I'll tell you everything you need to know." He agrees. I say I just need to go home for 5 mins and will come right back. It is actually my mom's house and not mine. I take the elevator. She is at home and Riverstone is there watching TV and has a really weird haircut. He knows I was with my teacher, so he asks how it went. I give him a hug and ask "What if I move to India?" and he doesn't say a word. My mom is like "Hein?" and totally puzzled. I don't even know how to tell her. But first I must go back to my teacher.

I'm sitting on a toilet and having a video chat with an old person that reminds me of Tim in church. I'm trying to get a better camera angle and I'm embarrased that I'm sitting on the toilet while I video chat with him. Even though I try to point the camera only on my face there is a huge mirror behind me that makes it so that I can't hide myself. The video chat ends and I look myself in the smaller mirror over the sink. I notice that my hair is very short and pointing in all directions. Dream gap. I'm in the kitchen in church and I'm talking with the old man from before. He is holding in a plate with a lot of cakes that are half eaten. I grab some of a chocolate cake and it tastes good. I walk out and try to find a place where I can sleep. I look in barntillsynen but a person is sleeping in there. I look in primary but someone is there too. I walk to the chairs by the entrance and see my mom and someone else there too. A person is lying on the floor sleeping. Mom says that I can watch a movie. My view is drawn into a movie about some european people in India. They walk by a big road with a lot of sand present and suddenly a car stops. An indian man tries to scam them but he fails. They keep on walking on the road and another car stops. Another indian man tries to start a conversation with them but they are suspect since the last one tried to scam them. After some seconds the indian man says he has to do some errands and drives away again. He was not trying to scam them.

Yesterday I went from waking to a dream in just some seconds. Or I went from a dream to another dream. I don't know. I tested out the exact same thing this night and it worked again!

I wake up in the middle of the night and do my RC (pinch my nose and try to breath). I think it doesn't work at first but suddenly I am in a big yellow courtroom with a woman judge that is slamming her hammer against the table. The last time I did this transition it was very unstable and I feel that this dream is also unstable. I look at my hands and they look really real. No extra fingers and no distortions. I am in the front desk that is about to be interrogated. I walk up and fly out of the window. There is a big city outside that reminds me of Karlskrona a lot. I see my hands as I fly and it doesn't look this real in my normal dreams. I am happy because I feel the wind against my face and my hair swining backwards as I fly. I fly up and down some times just to feel the wind. I fly up and hesitate but end up doing a loop in the air with a 360 spin to it. I feel alive and happy. Without thinking about it I stretch out only my right hand in front of me and I am able to fly really really fast when I do it. I use both of my hands and it doesn't go as fast. I think to myself that I might be able to reach space with this speed. I start to fly up to the sky with one hand in front of me like Superman but as all references to which height I am flying at disappear I can't fly anymore. I try to find a star that I can focus on but it is too far away I think to myself. I fly against the city and see a lot of people. I think about dancing and suddenly I fly into a big empty room. I think that I will be able to see dancers here but I can't see anything. I look around and find a secret door in the wall. I open it up and see two pretty fat ladies dancing. I inspect them but walk out again. There is another secret door in the empty room. I enter it and see two really good looking ladies dancing, the dream becomes unstable and I wake up.

Notes: Wohooo! This flying was so trustworthy and it was so blissful, calm and refreshing. I really wonder if it was a dream from the beginning or if I actually went directly from being awake to a full scale dream. It almost feels too good to be true.

I'm in church and two guys walk in through a door. I think to myself that they might tickle me and they change appearance as I think so. They become taller and now have black hair. I quickly try to wake myself up but I can't. I am somehow able to escape and run to the cars. I take their car and escape. It's a pretty old car and it doesn't go that fast. I see a fast cool car and walk to it to drive it. I am semi lucid here because I thought it was okay to take the car because it's only a dream. Just as I am about to enter the car another man takes it and drives away.

Notes: The tickling is awful. I hate it so much.

Dad is driving us to a training center. There is a man that welcomes us and we see a picture of a big training center. We enter and it almost looks like the picture. We jump around and enjoy ourselves.

Notes: I read about the biggest training center in Sweden yesterday.

I'm with Pia and Monica. We start to fly and we each have a kite tied to our backs. It gives a different but non the less fun flying experience. Whe you fly upwards the kite drags you backwards and wants you to loop. The same is when you fly down. I experiment with the feeling and go up and down. We see a star and Monica says that India is there. We fly fast but Pia is slowing down and is tired. We leave her behind. As we fly it becomes day and night because we fly so fast (haha that would actually mean we went around the whole earth and already passed India). I ask Monica how many days and nights we have to pass before we come to India. The whole sky is filled with lightning clouds that are grey and agressive just 2 meter above us. Monica and I fly to the ground and crouch because we don't want to get hit by lightning. The lightning clouds are maybe 10 meters above us, really close to the ground.

Notes: What an interesting dream.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

In India, among orphans adopted by some guy that provided them food and shelter at some ruins. There are some western kids among them, I am one of them. We are treated differently, like we eat the cheapest food, no meat when there is some, like we belong to a lower caste. But things are changing, some day someone decides to share a can of tuna with us and some kids are angry about it.

Learning about satellites and going through an interactive apprenticeship on how to pair them in orbit so they send signals to each other around the globe. We're at some kind of lighthouse by the sea. We come outside to look at the stars and we see satellites lasers aligning - I think it's augmented reality through a glass screen placed in front of us. Almost looks like we're watching an aurora. Then there is some talk about how the earth reacts to our invasion and something falls out of the sky into the ocean. It's dark, but I think I spot a wave and I scream "tsunami alert" and indeed a tsunami approaches. Me and a guy and his dog are the closest to the ocean and have no time to run away so we go inside hoping to get upstairs, but it is too late, we are swiped by the incoming water and projected through the back window against some roofs on a lower building behind this one. We hang on that rooftop until the water subsides. In the morning some military guy comes by and asks if we're ok and then treats me with familiarity. I take time some time to recognize him, it's Fermi. I am covered in some gook and he jokes about it, while also making some sexy stares at me. He helps me get down, I slide to his arms and I also feel some chemistry there.

At a version of my high school with Zilla and others unknown. Kind of a reunion. We talk at times with different people, pose challenges, discuss topics. One girl who is now a famous actress sings something in a context and she sings beautifully. A person by her side makes comments, asks if any of us can sing too. I say not so well but I do. Someone suggests we make a song to perform later. Something experimental. I suggest something I was once suggested to explore, what would sound like the sound of silence. I make some suggestions, but people get lost. The singing girl goes compose something alone, had some inspiration, but comes back with a punk rock song completely nothing to do with the challenge. But she is very proud of her fist written song. Then I am going through my purse and cleaning it because it got dirty with something and I find a bunch of notes at the bottom, a few hundreds euros I had put aside and forgot I had. That cheers me up. Then I meet Vera and she bullies me a little as if we were still kids, drags me down to the common room where kids play snooker and such. I try to get rid of her. I see a baby girl walking apparently alone and she is after a ball rolling but also has a big apple on her hands and is crying cause she cant reach the ball. I pick it up and put it in her hands and get the apple and see if she's happier. She is but mostly suspicious of me and doesn't want to play with me. Meanwhile her mom comes by and I explain the situation and give her the apple. Then realize I am hungry, some of us go to lunch at the canteen. I sit in front of some guy. Only food is meat with fried egg and spinach and mashed potato. I don't know what to do but I end up eating. The guy starts criticizing the food as if we are at some restaurant and I just cant stand but stay quiet. Then he complains the meat whatever and I tell him "you know, I am actually a vegetarian, mostly vegan, but I am eating this because I was taught to respect whatever food is offered to you without judging. When I have the choice I don't eat this, but I am a guest. Also, there is nothing wrong with the food, it is tasty and billions of people would love to have such meal." The guy is embarrassed and eventually leaves after eating it all. Then some girls to my side who heard the conversation want to know why I am vegan. One asks something about health and I say its not for health. Another one asks how this damaged my social relations and family and I tell her not at all and others have changed too through my example. Someone says vegans are pushy, I say I am not. Then one has a theory about how my decision is actually misplaced, that something wrong in my life and romantic life was missing something, that I do this to fight some angst against patriarchy or some shit like that and I am about to explode like "WTF are u talking about? I did it out of awareness of the animal suffering, what does that have to do with that shit???" And she starts talking lots of BS and I lose her and I wake up.

4 Mini Wilds ✨
Just wrote all all out and it was deleted so this version will be shorter. Went to bed around 10 PM after being on DV. Took small amount of melatonin to help me drift off and 100 B. Said mantra's as I fell asleep.✨ Listened to Gateway to Inner self a bit today too - it's great!

Had a row for Wild's albite brief ones
I did wbtb from 3.30am to 4.15am and massage to my back and said mantra's - I set up the bed. I put on the fan and earplugs and I mask.

I lay back down for a long while because of the comfy bed and the massage I was able to stay still for long time with no problem - Dreamlets passed and spasms jogged my foot and other parts of my body - sleep to my body came Finally.

The first wild was happening- I was drifting off and a dream came ...in the darkness I walked up a dark road to the side of the road a figure came to greet me with palms together in a bow. I suddenly felt my body separate away from my body in the bed - i love that feeling ✨and I know i am Dreaming.

"I'm dreaming" I called out happily and knowing I had just come from a Wild dive I was a bit giddy then I called out "next level now" then I called out "higher self now" ( these are from William Buhlman's book but I should have given myself some more time to settle in to the LD

I believe this was all a bit too much too soon and I found myself back on my body

Laid still - letting things come and go ....some time later dreamlets were entering my awareness again✨
I started to make sense of the visions and felt I was standing next to a moving train ...I throw my heavy bag up onto the train and then managed to jump up myself just as the train was picking up speed and moving off into the open track. I was on the last carriage and looked back at the terrain I had just jumped away from - it was a beautiful place
" it's India - how Wonderfull " I cried out happily " I am so happy to see you again!"
Oh - the sky is a beautiful blue and I feel it's a wonderful place to be in my lucid dream world✨

I am back in my bed after feeling the shift come on...I lay still and waited once more

The next was a dreamlet recognition again - in the darkness I can make some shadows out - there is me and 2 others - I am very aware that I am transitioning into a dream so need to act carefully and with ease...I shoot the dangerous robot guy with some metal discs and he starts to disintegrate - I move towards the other person as an attempt to get the Lucid dream going ... I grapple about in the dark about and am back in my body...

The next was myself in a dark room with 2 others - Little David and Daniel...Daniel says under his breath that David is a child and I see David is hurt. I say to Daniel
" You should be respectful towards people as they are to you"
He laughs as I walk out.

I very badly wanted to carry on but had to get up - tomorrow I return !

4 successfull wild Dives - i spose they could have been deild's but i cannot be sure as it felt like some time between each re- entering ...not quickly.
I am happy with my awareness during the dives as being present and able to respond to the dreamlets is something I very much wish to work on more and more ...yay " It's happening !" - I feel good progress in being made after about one year of pretty steady work ... My LD number is now 110 - mostly Dild/Mild's

I am living in India, it appear to be night as I look around the wide field of the desert. I kept my body lying down on the ground for a form of cover as I am expecting snipers to take their shot when they see me. I do routine check ups to make sure I have not been followed. I look around and realize my eye sight is beginning to get blurry. I soon couldn't see a thing, this is bad I thought. I want to get down there so that the power there could be obtain. However I decided to retreat and assume this could be an enemies attack.

I go down from the hill and back to my base. There was an elderly woman seeing on a couch telling me she is tired of complaining about her life. I told her I am done for the day and went in to a room as she continues to want television. The dream scene has now change in to the room I am usually in. It is dark and from the shades from the curtains covering the window I can tell it is night. I had awoken from the usual leaf blowers who carry the loud machines. I decided to went for him to be done however he began banging at the window.

And demanded that I let him in. I had a feeling something like this could happen and notice that the window was beginning to crack. I got up and tried to go to the living room, I then continue to open the bathroom door and lock my self inside. I hear him bash through the door with a weapon and for some reason the restroom tiles kept making sounds with my feet against them. This allowed him to know where I have been hiding. My eyes stare at the door handle as he uses some ping pong racket to phase through the door handle.

That didn't make any sense to me but he's here and I begin to tense myself for a fight. To my surprise the door opens up to a boy who looks 13 years old wearing a purple hoodie and khaki shorts. I get out the restroom and demanded what is going on. He looks at me expecting me to stay still but I push him aside and can see my family inside a car while the front door is opened. The boy look at me as he prepares to attack but I ignore this and walk outside. I am still frustrated but is now more curious to why everyone is outside. It seems they were preparing to leave, the sky is now sunny which is odd considering it has been dark not too long ago.

I go back inside the house as I just remember the boy was still inside. I look for him and can see he is in the kitchen making himself something. I prepare to grab him but he quickly pulls out a knife. I told him to calm down and that I wasn't going to try anything. I then check my father room and notice he has stolen some of the pages in my dream journal.

More irritated than before, I turn around to go look for him no longer caring that the boy is wielding a knife. However no one is in the house, go outside the front door and see that everyone has left. The sky is now dark with a couple of bright red showing the sun set was just ending. I begin to think maybe I can still catch up to the car even though I didn't know where it was. I begin running anyway and soon notice that the pathway around this area is now different from how I remember it. This isn't right I said, I soon realize I am in a different location. This place look very expensive and the people around here were all well dressed. I see railings and a fence, so I ran to it but realize as I got directly in contact with it that it was much bigger close up. I look down one of railings and can see I am on the top floor. I tried finding a way down passing through a couple dancing and see a slide that looks like the mouth of a sea creature. I slid down it thinking it was odd.

I walk pass other people going through a small tunnel , one guy pointed at this board we were all near to and said all the numbers mix with words were quantum mechanic. Some were debating with his assumptions as me and others struggle to get through the line. I manage to get out and enter this weird grocery store, I decided to get a couple of things since I was on my own now. That is when I met up with the kid who stole some of my dream journal. He continue to follow me through out the store. He then grabs my head and makes funny gestures. I turn around ask what did he want. He tells me to be quiet and continues to put his hand on my head. I told him why did he rob me? He replied that it didn't matter and that he just did it to do it. I yelled out that wasn't good enough and demanded to know why again. He decides to say that he has robbed me plenty of times before and that it has become a habit for him.

I told him I had been aware of numerous items going missing lately. It made me angry that he didn't have a good reason for stealing. I snap and threw all the grocery items I had in the cart in the air. I told him I am ready to fight as he begins to tear up. I couldn't believe this, suddenly a woman working in the grocery store came to his aid asking what is wrong. He drops to the floor and continues to cry. I grab the child by the neck telling him he should know better. The woman grab my arm trying to throw me off the boy. I elbow her and could hear a lot of people beginning to hear the situation. I then ran off from the store. Passing a police officer while looking for a car.

The sky was now grey and partially raining. I find a car and enter inside and continue to drive off. Many of the cars were driving fast and some were trying to slow down as the rain made the road very slippery. I tried driving up to the next lane however due to how fast I am going I lost control and landed on a muddy swamp. My car wouldn't move anymore and I had now transition in to third person point of view. The car took a turn for the worst as it was getting suck in to the muddy swamp. I can feel myself getting out of the car and having trouble breathing through the piles of mud. I started thinking I should try to wake myself up now. But I manage to get all the rocks and mud off of me before drowning.

Another car had lost control and landed in to the swamp as well. He however was too far in the swam to even get out of it. I decided to leave and run up the road, however the road seem to have been slice off making me drop down. I landed on some grassy rocks and continue to walk from there.

That is when I saw this very odd building. There was this voice in my head telling me that I had to go up there. I decided to listen and went up there. There was this weird creature that told me if I am ready for the next challenge. I didn't give an answer and woke up.

9.12.15

Night shifts and this night off. Dream before midnight, before alarm at 9:45pm

I woke up from it and recited all the details so I dont forget. Very detailed, vivid and intense. Sense of doom, but not scared, because I knew I'll be ok.

DR:
Traveling in some city in India with maybe 4-5 other people. We stop at a restaurant and we order something. I get a plate of maybe potatoes and grilled slices of fish. They are delicious, so crispy and flavorful. Everybody is waiting for me to finish eating and I wonder why they are not eating as well. Waiter motions to me to take the last piece of fish so he can take the plate. I get a drink of water too and it has a consistency of jelly watter.

Now we are someplace and skies are all orange from nearby erupting volcano. I look in that direction and I see a tall moountain in classic volacano cone shape. There are streams of lava approaching and pools of lava all over the place. Burning and smoking debris is falling and hitting the ground with force all around us, catching things like cars on fire.

We get in a van to get away, but lava gets to the wheels. We turn around to go with the flow of other cars, but it's just not working. The distraction is too great already, we maybe too late.

We ran into a large building. The wide stairwell in this bright and large-roomed office building are full of people rushhing upstairs. Suddenly everybody stopps listening for some silent news. I understand that we should be safe on the top levels, and I yell for everybody to get upstairs. The huge room in this typical indian office building (wut?) is full of sofas of all kinds. We all claim one sofa that we feel will be a safe floating device. We pick a nice leather one. We know it's not the safest one, but metal ones would also melt and we figure it's safe enough to float on a sea of lava to safety. : P

Our sofa starts moving by itself and it parks itself in a location. I don't get it and it freaks me out a bit, but I understand it's part of an evacuation process. I figure we should pick a place near some load-bearing wall, so if the building crumbles, we have a chance that our floor will stay standing. I tell somebody we should go look for that, but we are already next to the wall.

I walk on tops of some other sofas to get to the window. Window is like on a tropical window. No glass, just a large portion of the wall is not there. I see a small river or rather creek just below us. It's full of floating cows that are burned by the fire or lava. Their skin is burned to crisp in some places, tongues are hure, sticking out and still moving and cows are mooing in distress.

I feel our building moving and turning and I think the sea of lava got to us and we are floating on it. I'm surprised in didn't occur to me that the building may just collapse, but I chase that thought away and we continue on floating. The sensation of movement is very real.

< Don't worry, you don't have to read the whole thing to comment >

Sat, 16 May 2015:
SSILD: maybe I was already asleep because when I thought I was still trying to get to sleep, I was noticing how the things I was imagining were folding into my HI's. I was having unusual control over them or influence of the HI's so maybe a short NREM stage. I lost track of my awareness though until a little later.
I am in a home setting that is unfamiliar when I look back from waking perspective recording this dream. I'm in a family room and my son and his girlfriend and others are there including members of my extended family. At some point I seem to be losing clothes and end up in my underwear. It seems like my son's girlfriend is trying to go look at my junk bouncing around in my underwear. I don't want my son to see that so I move behind the couch. At one point everyone starts looking at me like I did something wrong and my first thought is what did I do? But then I realized this is a dream scenario! I am dreaming! My son's girlfriend comes over to me as I'm sitting on a chair and leans over me and I can see down her blouse . her breasts seem smaller than in waking life, though I'm only guessing, because I've never seen her naked of course…except in dreams that is. The previous one with her started off non lucid and I felt so guilty! Some of those feelings came in here but I mentally reminded myself that this is just a dream. (Memory gap) we are driving in the van with openings between the two front seats and my wife is getting frisky

Spoiler for sexual content:

reaching down into my underwear

and this cute lady in a short skirt is in the backseat pretending that she is sleeping but I can see her eye slightly peeked open. I think of her joining in and regain my lucidity . (memory gap) I'm in a new house and there is a lady actually it's the same lady from the backseat and she has a baby in arms and a little girl who is maybe 5 to 7 years old. I talk to the baby and wonder if I disturbed his sleep. I have lost my awareness again. ( memory gap) she's going home and she is outside of her door holding the baby carrying something else and trying to deal with her little girl and I asked her if she needs help. she says sure and brightens up her smile and tells me to come on in!

this is when I realize I'm dreaming again and get my awareness back. she is sitting on a chair and her short skirt alluringly and the kids are now gone. start

Spoiler for sexual content:

taking off my clothes and running my hands up her skirt and removing her blouse. Some level of sex

before another memory gap. A guy brings me outside and wants to show me something. We take off flying. He says we are passing over England and Manchester City. I look over at him and it is my son.

We are flying together high up in the sky. I wonder if we are high enough that I can see the shape of the British Isles and after moments of looking for it I am suddenly in a blank space with a solitary standing elephant-dude figurine. Primarily colored in soft blue and white.

Several memory gaps, perhaps my awareness work needs to be stepped back up during the day and have come to rely on the G + C combination which I did not take this night. I really wanted to be lucid tonight because I wanted and natural lucid dream before my next G experiment the next night. On the other hand I am hopeful that this could be some sign of "breaking down the wall" that Thomas Yuschak speaks of. #323



Sun, 17 May 2015:
*Longish dream+DILD: we are in some foreign country, possibly India and I am waiting in our vehicle at a small airport drop off area and the doors are locked but after a little while people start trying to open the doors and before long many people are trying to open the doors. one guy gets in and then lets another in and soon the truck is packed. It is like a van sized SUV. One last guy crams in and I thought he was going to sit on top of me or something but he went crawling to the back. I was in the front passenger seat. one of the guys that got in started driving. He seems to be the patriarch of this family and he is driving too fast and I told him to be careful driving so close to the other cars. I asked him what is going on, why is everyone so frantic? he says that the Muslims want to vote (so I assume that they are protesting and rioting). I think to myself why were they not allowed to vote? This goes into a false awakening where all of the people in the van and some additional people are in a big room sleeping and people are starting to get up and wake up and I notice how dark it is. I asked couple of girls near me why is everyone getting up? What time do you go to bed? And one answered sometimes 12 or 1 and then I realized I asked the wrong question. what time do you usually wake up? and she answered around 8. I see a clock or somehow know that it's 6 a.m. and I ask why is everyone getting up at 6 a.m. then? No answer, but some one by the window says but there is an aurora borealis happening right now. I say "well I'll get up for that!" I go to the window where they are peeking through the blinds. aluminum style 1 inch or 1 and half inch blinds. I look up and all of the clouds in the sky seem to be glowing a little bit but I don't see what he's referring to at first and then I notice the lower set of clouds closer to the horizon are glowing more so and the colors are undulating. As I look more, it gets more impressive!

I say out loud this must be a dream! Somebody sees react like yeah yeah. I try to look at my hands but it is too dark in the room although it does look like there is something about my hands I moved to the nose pinch RC can do it several times to be surebefore I think about starting to mount various women in front of all these people. I'm able to breathe through my pinched nose and I lookout after night display some more. it is so beautiful! Let's start shooting back and forth across the sky along with a laser gun sound effect that is interesting but the lights are so beautiful! After a while of looking at it i turn my attention to looking for a suitable mate and walk through the room passing several girls that are too young including a little blonde girl . I see a beautiful girl, probably 20's, holding the hands of two younger girls and leading them into a room.

Spoiler for BEWARE-negative schema (but resolved). NOT sexual content:

I go in as well and the door closes and I turn around and they're gone and it is like a small closet with the walls painted yellow. I think about the podcast I listen to last night and it seems to plant a seed have negative things happening sometimes in LD's but I stay calm. I open the door I'm behind the door is just a yellow wall like the rest of the closet and I try to avoid thoughts of being trapped and

I decide I will just fly up through the roof and I do! This leads me to a series of different scenes all seemingly underground with no windows but some more interesting than others. one was wide open and what would look like maybe a big space station somewhere on a planet perhaps

and I spend a bit of time flying quickly through there enjoying flying indoors. At one point I came to somewhat of a dead end but there was an opening that led to a very dark hallway and I wasn't interested in exploring that way

so I turned around and flew some more and eventually I fly into another scene. This next one was full of DC's. They all look like military or worker guys in dark blue jumpsuits

and I think about how in the podcast Sensei talks about how in some place, some powers don't work and sure enough here I don't have all of my normal dream super powers. I take a few swings at two of the guys and they kind of laugh at me. one guy takes me by the arm almost as if I'm being arrested or at least taken out of there. he's a boisterous guy that seems like a bit of an asshole . we look across the room and theres is a guy dressed a little differently, dressed like a movie star in casual attire. the guy who grabbed my arm says that guy is an asshole. As we approach I feel like messing with them and I start to say hey this guy says you're an... But the guy fills in and says something like yeah he is a whole lot of something trying to playoff what he really said about him using words that sounded a bit like what he really said, "a whole." I chime in and said no he called you an asshole. I think I'm forgetting some parts but at some point I feel myself back in bed and with a strong urge to reposition myself off of my sore left shoulder. After trying to stay still for a few minutes I eventually have to turn over and maybe I waited too long because my shoulder is still sore. It was worth it though! #324

empowering non-lucid: Water park amusement park bathroom mini golf. Guy kicks my wife. I fight him though he is bigger. Guy says they will break up fight if I get off him. I do but guy starts fighting me again and I quickly break his neck with head twist.



Mon, 18 May 2015:
Later driving into fancy neighborhood #lostMyWay trying to find my car parked outside. Became a covered area suddenly from aerial view (map?).
Go into a big resort like place and try to pass through to get to where we are heading. #Wife #son security system starts to drop down as if I am not authorized to pass but moves back up as I back away, then down again as I approach. Finally a flying droid thing stays with me until #security arrives. He holds a fork like stick to my balls while questioning me. Must you? I ask. Later they let me go and with family back inside car and I think about how dream like that was...why didn't I RC? I should now! Hands hmmm...look away and look again
..yeah I just counted 6?...hard to see one of my fingers!Nose pinch yep! Tell family I'm going to take off and fly out of car a little and see youngish girl reminds me of one I saw that day. I walk up and I remember my plan to make it feel okay and remove any negative thoughts and ask the girl (brownish blonde, more blonde) to take off her clothes.

Spoiler for Strong Sexual Content & language:

She takes her time easing onto my c**k. We have sex for a while. Wife and son looking at one point. I brush it off, they are only DCs. I even tell my wife you like watching me f**k this young one, don't you? I think as I am doing it that I should make sure I don't carry this fantasy over to waking life and say something like that to my wife during sex or when feeling frisky. I lightly squeeze and rub the girl's nipples and she is kissing me a lot all over so I pull up my shirt which is only thing left on me with the idea that she can lick my nipples and she does almost instantly.

5-6min count as 5 for contest. #325

Late am btb: HI's to quasi dreams? Very good fantasy visualizations with GF and C and friend. Later even said time to RC...hand look 3 times but then quickly felt back in bed so didn't count as a separate LD.

As Louis, being seen as a vampire by someone who I didn't want to see that, fleeing the scene, and Lestat finding this much more funny than I think is appropriate.

Discussing a military operation, looking at a map of what is essentially much of India and Southeast Asia, although at this point in time - meant to be 6th or 7th century or so - the countries and their borders are significantly different than in the present; we're primarily discussing a trade route at the moment, but I've also been having a disagreement with the man in charge about our manpower. While discussing the trade route, we receive word of 500 archers spotted approaching from the north, in addition to the army we're already facing. I am significantly less confident about our ability to handle this than the boss is.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

As some manner of religious authority, I'm performing a ritual to help a group of people, a sort of blessing or summoning, making something sacred. At the start of the ritual I have to offer up whatever spiritual virtue I possess as a sacrifice; this will leave me vulnerable until the ritual's complete, so I'm relying on the two people who asked for my help to accompany me. With the offering made, we step through a portal.

This takes us to a dark and dusty room, a place I'm familiar with. I summon light into my hands, with an effect much like a dim flashlight. In the middle of the floor there's a large trunk full of false panels, something a stage magician might use; at the moment it's lying open so that all its tricks are clearly visible to anyone who might pass through. I didn't leave it like that. There are a few objects on the shelves of the room that weren't here the last time, indicating that someone other than me has indeed been using this place. This is something to worry about. I close the trunk properly, and we continue.

A brief memory gap - after the dark room, we came out into a field at night with a river off to our right, and what we did here I can't remember; but then we came to the cliff at the opposite side of the field, and the view here was so fantastic that I briefly went fully lucid to enjoy it. I'm looking down on an immense lake so still that I can see stars reflected here and there. In the far distance, there's an immense grey statue of a falcon submerged in the lake so that only its head is above the water - but that small part of the statue above the water is at least the height of a two or three story building.

Continuing the storyline, this is certainly the appropriate place to perform a sacred ritual, so I begin a prayer - something about the lake filling with stars. But before I get very far, that river off to our right rises in a flood. The two people with me are afraid, but I'm thinking this is convenient - we'll just ride that water down to the lake.

The river sweeps us over the cliff, which is great fun, and when I sink under the water of the lake I can see a group of hammerhead sharks swimming far below. They don't seem to care about us. Surfacing, although we've all separated, we're all making our separate ways toward that falcon statue.

Along the way, however, I bump into a seal; it considers me and then swims on. And then into a shark; the same happens again. And another shark, and this one seems more interested in my presence; and another that I have to physically shove away; and so on; I'm not concerned about my safety - though I am worried about the other two - but I become so busy fending off sharks that I can't continue to the statue.

11.11.14

Last night bed 12:30am - 9am

1. This could have been a DILD, but not sure, maybe not.

It's at night and I'm in old Rome. I'm telling myself it's just movie props, but I have a feeling it's a real deal. There are old churches, already very old and almost in ruins. Lots of tumbs, graves, sandstone buldings with walls half fallen down, burned out and never rebuilt.

It's a place of my nightmares, but somehow I'm not scared. But I know flying would be safer than walking, so I try to fly up. I can just a little bit. So I do what I sometimes do. I grab on a branch of a tree, pull myself higher, then hop on taller tree and keep pulling myself higher till I can jump off and glide or kinda fly to next object, like a roof.

At some point I'm trying to fly differently. I remember not to try to fly, but rather imagine myself "going" or being at a desired location, so dream does the flying for me.

I also remember to fly up at 45 degree angle to get to next dimention.

So I'm kinda tree-and-roof-hopping from place to place. I land outside of a very large and imposing church. The front courtyard and some walls near are collapsed, burned out. I don't really look at it coz it's scary as hell, if I was to go in there. So I keep flying-walking to tumbs and graves and stuff.

Sometimes I see people that are walking slowly, without emotions. They all look like ghosts from movie 13th. ghost I watched just before bed.


2.
I just arrived to India. I'm suppose to babysit there. So I'm talking to mom and I'm impressing here. There is more going on here, we are walking around, talking. I compliment her place, having such a good location in middle of the town. Then I talk to her and she sounds like a grownup. She offers me Bud and something else. I realize I'm thirsty and I ask for a Bud, after I figure that I'll be still able to talk inteligently with them, coz Bud has no grades.


3. We are watching the ocean. It's so beautiful and sparkly from the sun being at just the righ angle. Sudenly there is something happening. Some 4-5 large indents form on the water. They keep changing, It's a beautiful and misterious sight. I'm devastated that I don't ahve my camera with me. Then I say, "oh wow, I really hope it's not a commercial". And sure, suddenly there are cars on the water and it's a car commercial. I'm so mad and disappointed.

Wednesday,27 August 2014

Moon Cycle: 3% illuminated waxing Cresent in Virgo

Tarot of the day: 8 of swords

Mayan calender: Red Lunar Dragon

Dream:

I stand in the very front of the dance floor where the stage is lit up red and indigo at a big festival in Goa,India.
My good Indian friend,Shai, happened to be DJing. He played some deep fractal psychedelic trance.
Another friend, Samantha, encouraged me to try to hula hoop. I prefer Poi but think "what the heck" and give it a go.
I managed to do a couple of moves without looking completely retarded.

My cellphone starts vibrating and ringing in my pocket. It's Penelope from South Portugal.
I scurry into a quiet corner shop away from the chaos, examining the weird latex party masks and translucent glowing gum boots while answering the phone and speaking to her.
"I'm in Goa!I wanna meet up with you!",She exclaims.
"Sure I'm available right now,come to this party I'm at",I reply.
"Umm actually i forgot, I can't right now because the forum post didn't get enough hits, but your cousin is somewhere close by so maybe you can meet with her instead.",she hungs up.

Confused by the odd phone call ,I simply shrug it off.

Soon after I get a message from my Ex-girlfriend asking if I posted something on her Facebook wall.
"Not that I remember",I text in return.
I go check her profile directly after my reply and notice she has new photos with her bf plastered all over her wall from the "crocodile dundee" camping trip the just went on, next to the same river where I attended the Rainbow Gathering.
I could feel a slight spark,a tinge of jealousy ignite in my chest.

When I walked out of the party store the dream scene had changed slightly. A large yellow roller coaster stood at the forefront of my vision.
All my friends where jumping on and signaled for me to do the same as it would set off soon.
I sprinted to the very back seat and made it just in time.
As the roller coaster jolted into motion I began putting the seatbelt on, and to my dismay mine didn't clip into place. It was broken!
We began to lurch forward up the steep incline to where a sheer drop lay.I shouted for it to stop but the ride continued slowly upward to the summit.
I figured my best bet would be to hold on for dear life.

Luckily,the ride was fairly tame,and from what i can remember i managed to not fall out of the seat.

This dream opened into a very nice room, that resembled a very nice suite in a hotel room. The decorations and the scenery outside the window made it seem as if I was in India, and I was with a very attractive girl who was my girlfriend. We were fooling around in the room and something bad happened, resulting in the death of the girl. Apparently I accidentally did something to cause her death, and I pled guilty. However, instead of facing the law, I was taken in by an old man who ran a monastery/convent/church place. He showed me around quickly and we bonded rather well as he showed me where I would live, what my duties would be, etc. I met another girl in the monastery and we flirted a bit, the old man chastising me and saying "Isn't this what got you into trouble in the first place?" We stayed friends but didn't really do much else. The old man and I eventually ended up in his office and he began coughing. I was concerned for his health, but he told me that it wasn't important and that this would probably be the last time I saw him. Suddenly, there was a time skip and I heard my own voice narrating what had happened in that time. I said that "I only saw him one more time before his death 17 years later."

Suddenly, I was in what seemed to be a high school gym with a violin in my hands, apparently leading a rehearsal for some show featuring music from Homestuck played by our orchestra while actors on a stage danced while playing. I can't play violin in real life, but I know enough to know how the instrument works, so I was still consciously playing it even though I didn't really know what I was doing. At some point during this practice, I became at least partially lucid rather accidentally. I remember getting up and starting to walk away, but nothing particularly fun came to mind, so I just sat back down and picked up the violin, since it seemed cool anyway. I think it was only partial lucidity because surely if I had been fully lucid I would've come up with SOMETHING else to do, and I do remember a certain vagueness that still pervaded the dream. When I sat back down, I was worried at first that I wouldn't be able to play the violin, but then I remember it was a dream and I could basically just play random notes and it would sound however I wanted it to sound, so I did, and it was a pretty sweet arrangement. I eventually picked up a trumpet someone had left laying around and was about to try playing it when someone distracted me and asked for help cleaning the gym. I lost the brief lucidity at some point and helped to vacuum a small carpeted lounge area in one corner of the gym. When the janitors I was helping finished the room, I got a text from my friend David. I don't actually remember getting the text or what it said, but it was written in my notes.

Now when I left, I found myself in an urban area and met my mom. She told me I was going to be sent to jail for 6 months anyway. I was rather solemn and accepting of it, and I remember getting ready and preparing myself for the days to come. I knew it was a pretty nice jail with many luxuries, but I would still be confined to one room nearly the entire time. I recall thinking that it wasn't really going to be that bad since the cell was basically the same size as my college dorm room and I was just going to be chilling in there for 6 months. I found a refrigerator outside which apparently had some food leftover from an event my mom held. It had a couple popsicles and some cheese-filled sausages that looked pretty good. I grabbed them and went into my house, which had appeared in front of me somehow, even though the fridge should've been nowhere near there. I found hot dog buns next to the microwave and put a few of the sausages in there, then prepared a plate. However, my mom asked me to help her find her new job at some Subway store. She would be driving and I would be the navigator. It wasn't supposed to take that long, and I was really only using a MapQuest app. I was having some technical issues, which also seems to happen in my dreams relatively often. We somehow drove across the Atlantic Ocean and all of Africa and Asia, ending up in southeast China in a few minutes. I then realized that I told MapQuest to take us to the wrong Subway, and the one my mom was supposed to work at was in Brazil. I struggled to plot a new course that wouldn't take more than 19 hours to drive there (which seemed to be about the minimum time I could find in the suggested routes). I was also worried about missing my court date or whatever, which would have resulted in more jail time. We discussed the possibility of just staying on the run in other countries, when eventually, the dream started to fade and I woke up.

I was playing as Clementine from the Walking Dead 2. I was fighting off a zombie while some other girl tried to kill me. After I killed the girl, I was able to select which ending I wanted. I remember some being that Clementine would be infected, rescued by police, etc. This repeated a few times.
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I was in a dersert with Nathan and we were in an old house. We were leaving so I grabbed my AK and put it on my back. The jacket I had covered it when I put it on. I rode around in a bicycle and then saw Warner on my crotch rocket. I got on it and rode it to a subway. Some guy was giving a lesson about something. I asked him to repeat what he had said because I didn't hear him and some guy started talking shit so I set him straight. I was then working at McDonald's and Megan's BF, Megan, and some other girl were there. They had a shark with them and when they left they left the shark in the pool. It was a small shark and I was swimming with it. Suddenly, a ship appears and it docks. People start loading stuff on the ship saying something is gonna happen. We started fighting with some elemental slime things and I was yelling for the ship to take off. We left 2 people behind. The ship took off and then the water transformed into a roller coaster. When we finished the ride, we got off and started playing Skyrim. I was with Dorina and Cesar and a few other people playing Skyrim but instead of a computer, we were on a console. We were also playing multiplayer. In Skyrim, I was part of a group and we were walking in the snow. We found a chest and I grabbed everything and spirits started attacking us. We lost an important team member.
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I was driving with some chick and she was complaining about her headache. We were looking at a map of where to get headache pills and it said somewhere in India. We start driving over there, past a jungle and a few highway exits. We turn and suddenly she's on a motorcycle and I'm riding a couch. A cop is behind me and I have a toothbrush in my hand. I drop it and see it break. When the cop passes me I hear him say "That American just dropped his toothbrush" in Spanish. I was on high alert because I had my pistol and didn't know if it was legal to have it in the area I was in. I start speeding up on the couch and the speed makes me lose my grip. I start to slip but manage to catch myself. We make it to the mall and I park my bike inside. I check out the stores and then meet up with the girl in one of the stands where a lady makes wall statues out of granite. She's making the face of a wolf for some costumers. We talk and they ask us where we're from and I say Texas, assuming they don't know where New Mexico is. I walk away because the girl I'm with keeps talking to them and I get annoyed because we have better things to do. She sends me messages that say she's mad about something.

I never had a dream where I laughed when I woke up. It was hard for me to see what came before what in the dream (as is usual).

I was back in my hometown. I was stayed there for a few days. I was at home in the living room. Mom was telling me about clothes or something. I checked the clothes and decided I should bring a few more. I saw two yellow clothes and thought that I don't have yellow clothes in the city yet. Then there are also the blue jeans. It was night, I believe, or at least dark. Maybe I was going to take my plane that day.

I was talking to a woman. She was heading a cause or organization. She was supposed to have a talk, and/or she just came from one. Not sure how I met her. She's tall, wears glasses, and had her hair in a bun. Not sure what we were talking about, but she invited me to her talk. It was going to be in October 26. Then I realize that my flight out of the place is on the 25th. We both thought it was a shame. I think she was talking with Sarah as well. Sarah went out to meet old and new friends.

I was in a restaurant with my other org-mates. Not sure what organization. It was dark, but not so dark that I can't see. It's more like the place when it's still closed, but there's already a bit of daylight. The restaurant was inside a mall. The lights were still off. There were different organizations in the place. We were able to get our place in the restaurant; it was first-come-first-served, but I think the org that was there first didn't leave a person behind to man it, so we thought it was free. All this came to mind while I stayed behind to guard the place. There were some sleeping. Some were out and about.

Lico was outside. We were in India. He was eating some sampling of local food and enjoying it. I think there was an eat-all-you-can for the food he was eating. The Indian guy who was serving the food offered him more. We talked and he/they said that the seafood came from a place nearby that's teeming with sea creatures, so the food is fresh and cheap. I thought I remember reading about the place. It's near or on an island that disappears when the tide is high. They verified it. I took a sampling of food myself. It was good.

I was in a city an hour away from my hometown. I was passing by an area that I haven't visited for years. I thought this place surely has changed. The jeep routes are different. I asked the guy I was with (not sure if he was a driver or a passenger), and he doesn't know. The thought came to me that he looks cute, but also that also scoffed that he doesn't know the place when he travels here. I went down after the river and walked around. The place is different. There were a lot of trees and small houses all over the place. There was a jeep station but no passenger. Or very few passengers. They hailed to see if I was going to ride, but I said no. I walked away and about. I ended up in a highway. It was familiar, but couldn't quite place it. I've been there before, but not on foot. I was riding a car/jeep. (I think it was in another dream where I was in a van with other co-workers going on a trip/a ride with my dad in one of my recent dreams, where we went near the sea). I thought it was a shortcut to somewhere. There was almost no people. It's a "sine-wave" road/highway. To my right, I saw the spires of the city. To my left, I assumed, but did not see, that it's headed for the province. I thought of turning on the GPS to see where exactly I was so I can go back. I saw a cow looking at me. It was tied to a gate of a home. I was like, cool, a cow. With huge-ass horns. It shook its head, like it didn't like something. Huh. I passed by a pillar/stair, blocking our view. When I passed it completely, the cow was gone, and it was turning around the pillar/stair. I checked my shirt. It's red. I ran into a... tunnel? Not exactly a tunnel. But it's like a narrow, semi-underground passage from one area to another. It has a gate. There were two people already walking ahead of me. I closed the gate behind me. I looked back. Surely the cow/bull doesn't know how to open it? I saw it hoof at the gate and it swung open. I ran fast, heartbeat racing, but more due to excitement than fear. I told the couple to get out of the way. The left and right side were not exactly walls, but more like ruins of an old building. There were stairs, pillars and all. I went around, left, right, just to lose the cow/bull, but I still heard it. The couple ran after me to make sure I was alright. The cow/bull caught up. They tried to distract it but it was focused on me. I finally took off my red shirt and threw it at the cow/bull. It seems displeased. Maybe it has something against the person who used to wear it?

Back in India. I was talking about the island. I then realized, hey, I know people here in India. Why on earth didn't I contact them? I messaged them on my phone. One of them said that he saw me, but I didn't recognize him. I was like, yeah, but he could have said hi.

The Cow/Bull