All DJ Entries

16th April 2021

Dream:

I am in someone else's lucid dream. It's someone I used to know, maybe L's friend, J? Not quite, but there's another friend too. It looks a bit like a small church, lots of dark stain wood. I think there's a greater proportion of wood than there is stone, I seem to recall.

Anyway, since I'm not actually lucid myself, I think about testing a theory. I think of asking my friend to give me moderator privileges as if this was a Minecraft server. But I am unable to catch up to ask him, as he moves around. So I end up trying commands by myself, like the teleport-jump to where I'm looking. The commands sort of work. Although I am unsure of how to even do this, somehow, I intuitively bind the commands to my mind or something, so no typing is required.

But I'm not lucid and yet I am reminded by all of this about a technique I read here on DV a couple of days ago. Before I try a teleport-jump or a through command, I spend a couple of seconds visualising the result a bit, but really it's too faint. It does help my non-lucid self use these commands though.

I remember this part of the dream was highly detailed but I can't recall any further about it now. Transition?

I'm in a restaurant with my family. We're leaving soon? The place seems to be mixed with old home or something. But I need to go to the bathroom. It doesn't seem especially clean in here. I try the stall, as I have privacy concerns and as I'm about to pull my pants down, I realise that there's no toilet at all in the stall, just a tiny plastic bin. Outside the stall, in the bathroom, there are only wall urinals. I exit the stall and entering the bathroom is a black woman, she has curly hair, a somewhat round but well defined face, she's about my height and probably a similar age.

I tell her I wouldn't bother with the bathroom at all, and just wait until home. She seems disappointed by this. I walk out of the bathroom.

(recall gap)

Then I'm at my old home, but think to myself that I'm not actually there or something. (pre-lucid thought about real location?) There's just some feeling, anyway.

Me and the rest of the family are getting ready for something? It's early morning I think. Mom says dad needs some apples and I tell her I can go get them (since I feel ready anyway) and I shout for dad, asking what kind he wants. I don't remember hearing a reply back. Eventually I think about just teleporting to outside the store below. But something stops me and it just doesn't work. I remember being in my old room and seeing outside, standing from the doorway to the room. Light seems consistent with early-ish morning.

Some other sequence. I'm in some place in South America. Swamps or marshes. A flatbed ship carrying containers is on the water but there are some buildings around, sort of in an Arabic style more than a local one. I try to get on board the ship and then look for some circuit board chips? Some interactions with someone else, possibly an old friend.

Another bit, possibly the earliest sequence in the dream. A visual and physical representation of the old art website? Very vague recall of this bit. Looks sort of like a disco club, with certain elements like the web banner physically represented as a room backdrop. Someone talks to me about the computing efficiency of the VFXs being used. Vague recall of thoughts about how much I charge for commissions, feeling like it's not enough.

---

Notes:
- I was not actually "lucid" at any point throughout this dream. My dream self was somehow partly aware of this by the implied context of the dream and with the commands thing tried to devise a way of having abilities more akin to what's possible when actually lucid.

- There are a few things here that challenge recent conscious thoughts, namely; my commission prices, my initial thoughts about the technique linked in the entry and some recent thoughts on shared dreaming. Basically the dream presented opposites for all of these things, I don't think necessarily for me to accept them but to generally think about them further.

- Using the commands to have lucid-like abilities in the dream felt like a pretty clever idea at the time, especially since it partially worked.

- Curiously, the church location may have been brought on by the fact that I have spent a fair bit of time with H both in real churches and in church-like buildings he's built in Minecraft.

15th April 2021

I left recall too long and didn't make any initial notes.

Scraps:

In WoW, with a friend, I'm a rogue or a warrior, possibly a mix. We're chasing after another player, we're somewhere sort of flat? I remember swapping my enchantments on the fly after killing something, because the kill yielded required loot for doing this swap. I remember putting crusader enchantments and seeing them proc on fighting the player we'd been chasing after.

Something about being somewhere with or talking to both L and T, maybe at the same time.

Notes:
- Last night I did try setting an intention again for the lucid dreaming party but unfortunately I lost focus before too long for some reason I can't recall.

- There were several other dreams I had initial recall of in the morning, but the lack of initial notes just made even the faintest details be lost by the time I made this entry.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

I join a gathering of Blacksmith's party at election night. Everybody is sitting at long tables and Blacksmith is sitting in front of me, across the table. He is very busy writing down stuff and exchanging remarks with others, so I don't bother him. But then he intertwines his legs with mine and squeezes them gently, without ever saying a word. I enjoy the snuggling. People announce the results of the elections and he is ahead of other candidates, but he still looks sad. I squeeze his legs back and congratulate him. He gets up so I I also grab a notebook and start scribbling in it. But then he comes back from behind me, leans over me and with a gentle embrace he whispers to my ear that he would like to be alone with me.

I am at what seems Hogwarts, but not quite. I am helping a friend and the groundskeeper to find the Nagini. They found some kind of ancient plumbing system that leads to outside the castle and we are on the outside looking for one opening they think she uses. And indeed we see the snake coming out, but she quickly goes back inside when she sees us. She leaves a couple objects she stole, right in the opening. We want to pick it up but we are afraid she is ambushing us. I finally get my hand very quickly in the hole to retrieve the things and nothing happens.
As we go back, I notice that the school / castle is not isolated in a forest, but instead it's in the middle of a city or campus with several faculties. I see one of our teachers suspiciously coming out of a building which I believe is an auditorium and also part of the arts faculty. I go check the back door from where she came, but I have to pass through some arcade tunnel covered in spiderwebs which is weird because it looks like nobody used it for a long time. I reach the door and it leads to a ramp directly to the backstage of the auditorium which is full of asian kids rehearsing some dance and acrobatics with giant bell balls. When they leave, I hide not to be seen. Then I keep going through dark corridors and find some kind of secret entrance to an underground. Then I hear someone's coming after me and I open the first door I see and hide inside. It is some kind of smokehouse with bloody sausages hanged everywhere or so it seems. The smell is horrible. And the person also enters this room so I duck behind a counter and sneak out when she is not watching. There are more rooms like this, which is beyond weird.
Back outside and meet my friends again. They take me to a cliff by the sea shore and I see dozens of boys and girls on the water, doing some sort of synchronized swimming and making symbols or letters that can be seen from above. It's some show to celebrate something. Then they all just enjoy the water. My friends show me some iron stairs down the cliff that we can use to get closer to the water, but then we have to jump from like 100 mt high. One of them seems to hit a rock when hitting the water and then a giant white shark comes out of the water and seems to eat him. The iron stairs then detach partially from the wall and I can't go up but certainly don't wanna go down. My other friend is also on the water a bit more to the right and I scream to warn him but he also disappears in the water and a second shark comes up. I am really scared and try to find a way to escape. I see some kind of ledge to my left that has some structure I can hold on to if I make the right jump. And then there is another iron stair going up to its left. I manage to do the jumps and get to the other stair which I climb. But instead of going to the top of the cliff it leads to a cave tunnel in the rocks. I see doors, so I assume it's man made. I reach some kind of chamber where I see a bunch of alien like creatures of different species talking about preparing to depart. They see my surprise look and smile and ignore me. I keep going and find an exit leading back to the campus. I marvel at the different castle-like buildings around a square, intricate towers and windows and sculptures in the façades. Then my friends find me and explain me that they were the sharks, because they are animagus or shapeshifters.

24th October 2020

Fragment:

A bit in a super market about buying toilet roll. I wanted the same one as we had last time but I couldn't find it. I found some Cushelle branded roll which was apparently cotton but it looked too thin anyway.

I think HD was a cashier, I seem to remember her ponytail.

(Recall gap.)

A monster creature of sorts. I remember he spoke and said something. He was a very vivid red colour and sort of made up of tendrils. He had to be defeated by some specific means by I've forgotten the details.

26th October 2020

Dream:

In the earliest part I was in some kind of tower block. I was there with someone else at some point? I tried breaking into a flat from a maintenance area, looked like ventilation ducting but on a large scale. I took my boots off here, for some reason; but some goblin or gremlin came and stole my boots and I couldn't react in time but just carried on. I remember noticing I did have my regular clothes on and for the rest of the dream I was in bare feet. It had bothered me at first as it would in waking life, but I ended up getting used to it as I simply had no other choice.

I remember going up to the top level of the building. Reminds me of the stairwell at the old home. I met two admin-like people who worked here, there was an office. I wanted my boots found and tried to demand that they do something about the creatures like the one that took my boots.

In some later part of the dream I'm on a ground floor and there are quite a lot more people around. It's some kind of large lobby area. Reminds me of big hotels and airports in some way. I met a priest and he was corrupt somehow but I don't recall the details about it.

28th October 2020

Fragment:

I'm apparently stranded on some high tier corrosive planet. There's a purple tinge to the atmosphere and I'm in a semi-cavernous area. I try to contribute to someone's build with some rock blocks but Xenomorph-like creatures come out from a lower area and I deal with them one at a time, but I'm not sure what I used. They each looked like a mix of between a Praetorian and a Drone.

---

Notes:

- When I woke up from the tower block dream, I was a bit surprised by how consistent the dream had been with the detail of my boots being absent. Lately I have noticed that dreams are having more consistency in terms of "continuity" (like on TV shows, etc.) I remember in some other recent dream I made a non-lucid comment to a dream character about how what they were doing wasn't abiding by dream consistency or something like that; I can't remember if I did already make note of that dream or not. That dream I had recently in a desert area with the troops was particularly consistent with itself too, for the most part, I think I may have made a note about it there too.

- I've recently had thoughts about an old Alien game which may have been part of why they featured in one of these dreams. I have been wanting to get that game working again but haven't really given it the time of day to manage it. But there are other reasons they may have featured in that dream; I often think I should go and look at more of Giger's work but rarely actually do, as other things end up taking prominence in my mind. I suppose there's a theme here of things getting pushed back in terms of priority...

23rd August 2020: DFLN

24th August 2020 DFLN

Dream:

About classic WoW. On my gnome rogue, using a 100% riding horse. I'm in Winterspring? I fight some lions (but they don't look wintery/snowy like the local tigers should). In-line note: The night before this dream I had watched for the first time the trailer for the remake of Lion King, which I had heard of but not seen much about.

I'm Combat-specced, I think. There were other player characters nearby but I don't remember any interactions, mix of Horde and Alliance, I think. Then Hnk messages me as I'm going to the town, which is more realistic and I walk toward a little shop in one of the buildings.

Hnk was upset about guild recruiting. Some girl lied about something specific in the application to join? But apparently this was normal. I remember we messaged each other for a while, whilst I was still outside but in the middle of the town.

Then I'm in the shop. I remember eventually I stop making notice of the chat UI for a bit. The shop is like one of those little convenience stores where you buy newspapers, magazines and play lottos, etc. There's a lady who runs the shop, behind a counter. I just look around at first.

Something changes as I'm talking to Hnk via messages. Now, all of a sudden, the shop is full of "dirty" magazines. They are pretty much the only thing for sale here now, mostly featuring naked women with artificially bigger breasts. Most of them seem to be around my age. I find it all to be more distasteful than I normally would somehow. Then the lady at the counter complains to herself about how people keep going into the private areas at the back.

I sort of join in and comment that it's ridiculous, people should surely know not to go past the counter. The lady appreciates my understanding of her situation and then I approach and ask her about something. (What?) And then I remember that I was supposed to sort something out while I was here, but I forget what, so we both take guesses at what it could be, for a while. I remember closing my eyes and resting against the counter while I try to remember.

Eventually I "recall" that I needed to sort out some kind of prepayment card. For Hnk? But mom asked me to do it? The lady shows me a plastic plate/card with some information and I try to take a photo of it with my phone, which feels unusually big and unwieldy.

The dream ended shortly after, and there were other dreams but I couldn't recall them.

---

Notes:

- This dream features mixed parts of recent life (classic WoW) and parts of my late teens.
- In the dream, I vaguely recall having thoughts that although I found the magazines distasteful, they were this lady's business, so I made sure to not comment anything out loud about it to myself. This may be a partially direct message aimed at some part of me, using some role reversal as metaphor in the dream.
- The chat with Hnk was particularly long via whisper messages. I only wish I could have recalled more specific wordings or details.

- This dream felt nostalgic in a sense; WoW dreams are generally nostalgic anyway for me but they also tend to be novel, featuring adventures unique to myself and often in alternate versions of game locations or completely new areas. But the shop was reminiscent of when I would go to such shops to play the lottery in my late teens and I often did notice there were these types of lewd magazines at those shops; as I got older I felt like it became more common but maybe this was just a shift of my own perspective. Because of this, in a way, the dream felt nostalgic of how things were before everything started to feel sexualised in some sense.

Walking around the city for magic
I am walking around the city with my mother for some reason. We go through houses, and in the dream that confuses me, and I also had problems recalling how we even got into the house every time we entered one (I should've gotten lucid right there, ugh). At some point, it might have had something to do with the series Charmed. In some house I saw a girl play animal crossing, and her parents watched. They also seemed to like the game. My mother told me that they're filming the trailer. In an adjacent room or maybe adjacent house they're preparing to film some trailer about animal crossing that seems to be horror-themed for some reason. I remember already seeing the trailer. A girl sits on a couch and she just bends her head backwards as if she fell unconscious or something, and they'd zoom into her face and behind her is a TV playing a video on loop. It would be framed so that it would look like her unconscious face is floating in front of the images zapping by as creepy and intense music played, like House of Leaves from Kevin MacLeod. At the end I met my friend Steven on a sidewalk
and he looked pretty different. We were happy to see each other. My mother told us something. At some point I also got home with my father, half-naked for some reason. There were also some personal parts at some point.

---

Got a bit closer to doing a mantra, but still forgot. I guess I am just too stressed, and will be for a long time, so I'll just try to do something.

9th July 2020

Fragment:

Something about talking to A in some imagined version of her home. I remember it was day time and there was a coffee table? An old style computer with a CRT.

We talked about a few things, mostly random ones, but also about my art and I asked if she knew anyone who might be interested.

---

10th July 2020

Fragment:

Dream about being on the computer and looking through one of the art sites I frequent. I remember looking at my own art and other peoples' art, but the rest of the recall is gone.

---

11th July 2020

Fragment:

On the computer, looking at one of the art sites again, and at my account page. I think I'd received some comments and I was typing up replies to the comments. I vaguely remember new dream-generated artwork, both of my own authorship and of other artists.

Something about wanting to make a second account for only certain types of posts (?) but in the end I decided it would be too confusing if I had duplicate uploads between two different accounts.

---

Notes:
- There is quite a mix within these three days, the dreams being pretty much about the same thing in one way or another; my art and how both I and others perceive it.
- At present this hasn't been manifesting in dreams quite as much but at the time of these dreams I was perhaps finding myself obsessively thinking about these things a bit through the days, more so than currently.
- The recalled part of the first dream relates directly to how I no longer have direct contacts/friendships with people who are interested in the same things, thus trying to see if a friend did know anyone and if we could basically be introduced; I've had this thought consciously a few times during certain days but since then have decided that I can't meaningfully seek this out in a natural/organic way and since then I've also had a conversation about this topic with a friend.

29th May

Dream Fragment:

I remember little of most of the dream. Just one part stands out.

I was being shown someone's pet or something. It was a cat at first but then it was a hyena. It was on a stand or pedestal of sorts and the animal itself looked elongated compared to what I'd expect.

Then the person showing me the hyena, was telling me something about its urinary system and they put their hand sort of inside the hyena from underneath and pulled out a very large fleshy and desaturated pink sac.

Some explanation was given to me. I didn't feel any disgust and was curious about the anatomy and around this point I realised the hyena looked to be sort of split into three parts but still joined together by some spinning tube thing between each sectioned part. I remember the hyena's head was turned toward us most of the time and was panting. Something about this segment reminds me of having the dog at the vet.

Dream Fragment:

Maybe this was the first dream. Something about H and our friend C. I remember we were at our house, or some version of it. H was concerned about someone breaking into the shed and I reassured H by pointing at a very Sims-like alarm system installed just to the side of the shed door.

I remember it was a dark night but there was a full moon in sight. The ambience looked darker than it should have done considering the full moon and how big/close it appeared to be.

---

Notes:

- The alarm system from the Sims should have been a somewhat obvious dream sign.
- The dream with the hyena, while similar in feel to the experience of having the dog at the vet, was probably just a manifestation of the interest I have in analysing anatomy from a hands-on approach. My lack of disgust or similar feeling is somewhat unusual within the context of automatic reactions, but perhaps is some indication that I could overcome such reactions more easily with training or simply by being exposed to this type of demonstration on a regular basis. I often feel sad that things have to die for us to have a better look at them and this aspect and the fleshy sac both relate directly to how I feel about meat in cooking, at times.
- I believe the rotating tube sections were simply the dream mind's way of justifying the body being split in three sections while the creature was still alive with no pain. In a way it felt a bit like something I might be able to do with a 3D model and perhaps that's part of where this originated too.

2 ОС Друг-тень (Сентябрь 2011)

Я находился во сне у себя на дворе. Понял, что это сон. Рядом со мной был мой друг. Я стал думать, чтобы поделать. Подошёл к другу и попросил, чтобы он привёл меня к себе домой. Для этого я взял его за руку. Он повёл меня. Только почему-то заходить на его двор мы не стали, а пошли вокруг дома. Картинка сна стала блекнуть. Я подумал, что это не мой друг, и он хочет, чтобы у меня сон закончился. Друг стал постепенно походить на тень. Я схватил эту тень и сжёг на солнце. Картинка сна вернула свои свойства. Пошёл дальше вокруг дома. Картинка сна снова стала блекнуть. Я вспомнил, что читал: «для того чтобы продлить ОС надо посмотреть на свои руки». Я взглянул на них. От реальных рук они отличались тем, что на них было много линий. Мне стало больно руку, и я опустил их. Картинка сна улучшилась. Решил всё-таки дойти до дома друга. Мне надо было перейти дорогу, чтобы дойти до его подъезда. По дороге я прошёл нормально, но потом земля начала подниматься у меня из-под ног. Я попытался взлететь над ней, но ничего не вышло. Тогда я стал перепрыгивать с места на место и допрыгал до подъезда. Зайдя в подъезд, я сразу оказался на 2 этаже, где он живёт. Дверь в соседскую квартиру была открыта. Я позвонил в квартиру друга, и стал ждать, пока он откроет. В соседней квартире была девушка. Она увидела меня, и поманила к себе, чтобы я зашёл. Я не стал этого делать. Тогда она попыталась подойти ко мне и схватить. Я оттолкнул её. Тут друг открыл дверь, и я забежал в его квартиру, предварительно захлопнув дверь перед носом той соседки. На этом сон закончился, и я проснулся и почувствовал, что у меня болит рука. Было такое чувство, будто она вышла из своего тела и никак не может встать на своём месте. Точнее не рука, а сама ладонь минуты две-три, где то продолжалось такое ощущение, потом прошло.

Выводы:
1. Друг превратился в объёмную тень.
2. Сам друг со мной не разговаривал. Персонаж "соседка друга" тоже не разговаривала.
3. Картинка сна теряла свои качества, становилось нечёткой. Сумел возвратить чёткость с помощью
а) сжигания персонажа тени
б) Смотрения на руки.
4. На руках во сне было много линий. Почувствовал боль в руке. Продолжил ощущать боль и в реале, после просыпания. Скорее всего просто отлежал руку под подушкой.
5. Земля поднималась из-под ног и мешала идти.
6. Взлететь не получилось.
7. Зашёл в подъезд и сразу оказался на втором этаже
8. Агрессивное поведение соседки друга. В реале девушка мне не знакома.
9. Место действия: мой двор, соседний двор слева.
10. Примерное время нахождения в ОСе 5 минут.


2 LD Friend-shadow (September 2011)

I was in a dream in my yard. I realized that this is a dream. My friend was next to me. I began to think to do it. I went up to a friend and asked him to bring me to his home. To do this, I took his hand. He led me. Only for some reason we did not go into his yard, but went around the house. The picture of dream began to fade. I thought that this was not my friend, and he wants my dream to end. A friend began to gradually look like a shadow. I grabbed this shadow and burned in the sun. The picture of dream regained its properties. I went further around the house. The dream picture began to fade again. I remembered that I read: "in order to extend the LD you need to look at your own hands." I looked at them. They differed from real hands in that there were many lines on them. My arm hurt and I lowered them. The picture of dream has improved. I decided to get to a friend’s house. I had to cross the road to get to his porch. I walked normally along the road, but then the ground began to rise from under my feet. I tried to fly over her, but nothing came of it. Then I began to jump from place to place and jumped to the entrance. Entering the porch, I immediately found myself on the 2nd floor where he lives. The door to the neighboring apartment was open. I called my friend’s apartment and waited for him to open. There was a girl in the next apartment. She saw me, and beckoned to me to come. I did not do that. Then she tried to come up to me and grab. I pushed her away. Then a friend opened the door, and I ran into his apartment, previously slamming the door in front of the nose of that neighbor. This ended the dream, and I woke up and felt that my arm hurts. It felt like she had come out of her body and could not stand in her place. More precisely, not a hand, but the palm itself for two or three minutes, where such a feeling continued, then it passed.

Findings:
1. A friend has turned into a volumetric shadow.
2. The friend himself did not talk to me. The character "friend of the neighbor" also did not speak.
3. The picture of dream was losing its quality, becoming fuzzy. Managed to restore clarity with
a) character burning shadow
b) Hand looks.
4. On hands in a dream there were many lines. I felt pain in my hand. I continued to feel pain in real life, after waking up. Most likely I just laid his hand under the pillow.
5. The earth rose from under the feet and prevented walking.
6. Take off did not work.
7. I went into the staircase and immediately appeared on the second floor
8. Aggressive behavior of a neighbor of a friend. In real life, the girl is not familiar to me.
9. Location: my yard, the neighboring yard on the left.
10. The approximate time spent in the LD 5 minutes.

Small parts of several dreams from today.

---

Dream Fragment:

My friend L tried to contact me. Somehow we were communicating by typing on our computers on notepad, on a shared .txt file, which we would save in turns to effectively "send" messages. Despite being a plain text file, I remember L used emojis, something she'd probably find pretty silly for the specific situation.

I have forgotten most of this dream's content but I remember L had an overall feeling of concern, and equally I realised I felt somewhat neglectful.

Dream Fragment:

I was outside, in a mix of my old home area and of some other place more like where I live now. It was daytime, there were bits of settled snow here and there and the pavement looked completely dull to me at the time. There was a row of terraced houses on one side, with an inordinate amount of front yard space. The pavement was unusually wide too.

I was out here with someone, either my aunt or my mother, or some kind of blend. There was this tiny ancient and ruined chapel and we were sort of investigating it for whatever reason and there was supposed to be a secret passage that we had to activate from the outside. We walked around it several times and eventually I pointed at this crude square shape covered by dirt and grass on the floor, which I'd noticed several times when going around the chapel's exterior, finally insisting that maybe it was what we wanted to check, as at this point I felt that any observations I made were being dismissed entirely.

There is some sort of dream transition and there's a different feel to things, and I find myself sort of manipulating wall segments as if it were a strategy game; the placement ghost for wall sections changed dynamically based on whether I was placing it close to existing walls or apart from any walls.

Dream Fragment:

Something about a blonde or fake-blonde woman, lying in bed. She was reading a book about things she'd done right? Or about things she had to pay for. This was in some sort of birthday party setting. It felt cheesy and crowded, inside a bedroom that somehow reminded me of a hospital room.

Dream Fragment:

I was in bed with H, who was reading something on the phone. It was around morning time by the looks of it and I was lying in bed in a funny way, because I was also reading a magazine of sorts. But the magazine was about as thick as my thumb is wide. It had all sorts of articles, about everything and anything, though I've forgotten most of it now, I remember the last one I was reading before closing it and looking at the cover. That article was about how an older Spain had convinced everyone during the exploration of the Americas to "drink this swill" that we call cocoa and how it's rival neighbouring country of Portugal had done little during that time to stop it too. It was like a sponsored article about an anti-cocoa cult of sorts and I found it to be pretty ridiculous even in the dream. It mentioned they already had hundreds of followers and hoped to expand them greatly in the coming times.

After I shut the book/magazine, I gave H a cuddle and that's the last thing I remember. Somehow I didn't realise the irony of the very dream-like situation at all.

---

Some notes:

• The text in the fourth fragment was very consistent. I remember reading and going back to re-read something I'd already read to make sure I was getting it right. In that dream I should have realised that no magazine would ever be so thick.
• The magazine cover was a cream or khaki colour, with a picture of a large manor or something on a sunny day in the front, with some smaller squares of other scenic views.
• I remember seeing bits and pieces of the book in the third dream by myself. It didn't make any sense, it was like a children's book but with tasks and questions. The pictures were all sort of life-like, but drawn.
• The very first dream fragment was one of several that I could still vaguely recall from the early morning before I fell asleep again, the other three fragments being ones from after falling asleep again.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Picking up toys, like bikes and cars, from the side of the road, that some people threw away. But a lady tells me one of the cars I picked up is actually not tossed away, belongs to a kid who just happens to leave it outside after playing with it. I apologize and promise her to take it back as soon as possible. As we are standing at the front door of someone, a guy approaches and points to a bag on the floor with two postal packages inside, apparently just forgotten there. He asks if he can take it and we find suspicious, so we check the names of the recipient. My neighbor says she knows the person and will make sure the bag is delivered to her. The guy is insisting on taking it himself and we say no. He eventually leaves.

Meet Zilla and some other friends, they go to a snack-bar to eat something. They are regulars there. The managers are two alternative-looking girls, but the place looks very conventional. I study a poster on the wall, showing homemade biscuits with either caramel or strawberry jam and I feel like trying it. But I stay at the door, cause I am in a hurry and don't wanna sit down. Then my friends order some soups and they demand to the managers to have a free soup everyday for this group, since they are regulars and very good clients. I am interested in a free soup, so I then join them, pretending I have been part of this group of customers since ever. They know I am not, but they are really nice and offer me a soup anyway. It is very comforting.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

In London visiting a friend. On arrival I see 2 triple rainbows and I do my best to photograph it, but only catch the first one already fading. Many people are watching the phenomenon, halting their cars on the road, also taking pics. As I wonder looking for a better spot to take the best shot, I get lost to a very rich and high tech zone, where basically people live and work inside a huge compound. Cars even go inside and roads cross through these humongous building. Some people never even have to go out for anything. It is completely segregated from the outside world. I don't even know how I managed to got inside but I don't ever leave a secondary area, which is basically a technical service area and access to parking. Soon I find an exit and I am on my way to meet my friends. Zilla is already with our London friend and we go to the subway. My friend was summoned by her boss and she believes she is going to be fired. But she hates his guts, he has treated her very very abusively and she wants to defend herself and maybe tell him some truths she's been keeping to herself. And for that she asks for our backup.
We are outside the door of his office, but we can hear their meeting as it goes and the dude is disgusting. She tries to defend herself but clearly he is determined to get rid of her and comes up with a lot of insults and shitty lying arguments. Then he becomes aggressive, calls her names and we can't take it anymore, so we barge in and I push him and slap him. He fights back so I beat the crap out of him. He says he is going to call the cops and present charges and say we assaulted him. But I am carrying a gun in my back pocket, not sure where I got it and I point it at him. I say we came with the intention to use it, but we were being nice and all, so I suggest he just calls it a day. He is panicking and promises not to tell a word if we just go. We go and my friend is like "are you crazy?" But very thankful. Later on, randomly, we see the same guy sitting at some diner and we notice that the server seems a bit crazy or is also taking revenge on him, so we observe the scene. He asks for pizza and a cake and she brings him frozen pizza and a frozen cake. He doesn't seem to understand that and he actually takes a bite of each. He yells mad and the girl doesn't flinch, she continues being a total disaster serving him, touching everything with her hands, spilling juice on him and making a mess. We guess she is actually doing it on purpose.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening



Meet my father at a train station. He is using crutches and we need to take elevator down. Problem is, dozens of people are taking the elevators and at some point they break. The other people could use the stairs but most just wait for the technician to fix it. Meanwhile we all stand at a balcony that is dangerously giving in to the weight of all the people waiting. My dad assures it is safe, but I try to really stay out of it.

Meeting a group of friends. V. Palmeirim and some other famous dude join in the group. They don't seem to know me. I notice we all are wearing shirts with white and blue patterns, stripes, waves and checkers. I suggest a group photo and we make some nice poses.
We then stay at someone's place. A couple of my friends, Zilla and some other, want to go on an urgent mission to Porto, but it is late in the evening and I warn that we will be out all night if we go now. We take a cab, but the driver stops somewhere to pick up something and delays us even further, so the girls change their mind and agree it is too late to go out on such journey. Back home they are still making contacts and checking other ways to go, but meanwhile we start watching "Across the Universe" on tv and time passes. I say "no way we are going now. It's 10 pm." Then I notice Jaime is among the friends and he also just spotted me watching the film and singing along and he looks like his heart melted. In the morning I go out to the nearby chinese supermarket to buy some stuff. The staircase and lobby of this building is from the 50s and majestic. Everything is grand and high ceiling and huge open space. I am joined by my dog Hachi who is hanging around for no reason. We hug really tight and then he joins me for a walk in the garden of some museum close by.

It's night, and I'm in a bed, but besides that I'm not certain where I am.

I'm in bed with Isata, an ex-coworker and maybe still-friend; in the past she's
told me that she feels comfortable being open with me and putting her trust in
me, and perhaps that's why in the dream we're sharing a bed (and a lack of
clothes), having a - very slightly - flirtatious conversation and are playfully
touching before cuddling to go to sleep - I don't receive from the dream the
impression that we're anything more than just friends.

She needs to do something - I was- and am- not certain what - and whilst I'm
still in the bed she kneel/walks on top of it, deliberately pausing when her
legs are apart above me and her crotch is close to my mouth; in spite of that,
she's surprised and angry when I try to begin to perform oral sex on her.

Things abruptly change - it's still night, but now I'm standing in the dining
room at my grandmother's house; I'm still naked - and now in a state of arousal
- but I don't seem to be perturbed by either of those things.

Whilst it's still night, my grandmother's house is partly on a
heavily-trafficked road, so there's sufficient second-hand artificial light to
see almost every detail in the room, and my mother - who also doesn't seem to be
perturbed by my nakedness or state of arousal - points out that there's a wasp
clinging to the net curtain; I try to kill it by crushing it with a scrunched-up
tissue and a jam jar or the lid of a jam jar, but it flies away, and I'm not
able to see where.

I awake with a start, my heart pounding, not because of a fear of the wasp, but
because of Isata's earlier reaction to me.

---

A few thoughts:

* Whilst the dream was far from a "wish fulfilment" dream - indeed, I don't
remember ever having a "wish fulfilment" dream - the relationship in the dream
is, I think, very close to my ideal sexual relationship: not a relationship
where sex is always a gesture of unplumbable romantic love; and - in spite of my
being an incel - definitely not a relationship where my partner is
more-or-less a living sex toy; but a relationship where sex is relaxed and
playful, two open and trusting friends trying to have fun.

* My wanting to perform oral sex on a girl I'm friends with, and so care about,
is not out of character for me - I likely learnt about cunnilingus before I
learnt about (male or female) masturbation, and, as a "safe" and "clean" way of
giving pleasure to a friend, it's something I've always wanted to try.

* However, my trying to kill a wasp is at least a little out of character for
me, as I'm pretty non-violent and, indeed, I prefer not to kill wasps if I'm
able to avoid it.

The Mix of Dreams
I am voice chatting with a friend from Slovenia at night. I don't remember what we were saying, but one thing I do remember is that I hear thunder on his end and ask if there's a thunderstorm going on in Slovenia. He happily replied with a yes while my view suddenly looks at the window behind him and a pitch black sky as it panned more to the right.

After this, I am suddenly sitting on the toilet, before after a bit standing up. Everything was normal until I saw a giant turtle hanging from the ceiling, seemingly frozen in time and unable to move, though in the dream I didn't actually think that. I called my mom over from the living room to show her the strange turtle. Then, more stuff seemed to happen in a sort of city, somewhat inspired by a desert-like environment, set in Seattle; at least Seattle according to InFamous: Second Son, though the ocean was replaced by a vast ocean of sand. I was on a car. Then I think I woke up.