I seem to be at work when I answer a call about a girl in white what is following someone into the men’s restroom. I go to check it out, going downstairs, I think on an escalator. This place looks like a retail store, but sort of tall, thin, and cluttered. I now see the entrance to the restrooms, with large pieces of dark wood giving a dim but home-y cabin feel. I enter the men’s, which is on the right. The bathroom is huge and spacious. There are at least two separate spaces with lines of urinals along the stone? walls, each space with a different kind of urinal. The ones closer to me are stone, while I think the others might be steel. I walk up to a stone one and begin using it. It is long and low, sort of a stone rectangle with a basin. I start peeing on the stone above the basin, wondering how many have done the same before. I think there may be one other guy in here, as I seem to hear or sense motion. I look around, thinking about how this bathroom is at least the size of a large room (like in a public building or something; it’s probably the size of a small restaurant). I look around and leave a different way than I came in. I walk up an asphalt path on a slight hill. There are wooden picnic style tables on either side, some with remnants of meals. The whole area is covered by a shade structure, probably some kind of mesh or light tarp, as it is not very thick shade. Passing one table, I notice a tall glass with a handle that is still mostly full of something that is a chocolate milkshake color and consistency. I somehow see a review that they left of it, about how they didn’t like it? I think about trying it but don’t. I now pass an ice cream stand and think about getting some but don’t because it’s too expensive.
non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening At a foreign country attending some teachings. I feel a bit lost, but I meet some lady who seems nice to hang with. At lunch time I go to a place identical to one of the restaurants of a Mexican resort I have been, expecting to find lunch there. But I don't see any tables or people. This lady shows me there is a terrace on a lower level, where people actually are having lunch. She takes me to the buffet, but then we can't find a place to sit. She says she knows another nice place by the river. But it implies crossing a road with traffic and jumping over a tall fence, which forces us to climb first over a broken wall. But we manage. On the other side she takes us to a bar instead. Not what I expected and we continue not having a place to sit. But there are snacks and I eat standing. Meanwhile she grabs a cigar and starts smoking. I am starting to think she isn't exactly giving what I expected from her and maybe following her around was not a good idea. But in the process we tagged along two other cool guys, a middle eastern and a black dude. Then there is a rap competition on the bar and someone points out that we should listen to a certain asian lady with a guitar. She thinks she can rap but they assure us it will be a disaster. We listen and she really sucks. Not only she raps to a melody on the guitar but she kinda sings instead of just rapping and also very badly, so it doesn't make any sense. Meanwhile I notice my dad is there and so is her mother. I comment to my dad that even I can sing better than that and he agrees. Then the judges totally destroy her and also attack her mother for not having been truthful and telling her daughter she sucked. She says she thought she should always encourage her. The girl is confused, she really believes she is talented. In the end, the mother makes a sweet statement showing her unconditional support to her daughter and everybody cries, even my dad, but he leaves to hide the tears. Then my immortal beloved comes out of nowhere and is also there commenting the music. He takes me to another room, where we are alone. But he looks very cool and distant, just talking about musical technicalities. I don't understand what's up and I am completely fixated in his eyes, trying to read his real thoughts. He starts blushing and stuttering. I realize I broke the barrier. I take two steps towards him. Don't do anything besides being damn close to him and still fixated in his eyes. He tries to go back to a discursive thought but he can't. He just breaks down and leans to kiss me. It is magical how completely vulnerable and lost he appears to be. The kiss is the most realistic one I've experienced in my dreams with him so far.
I am inside what feels like a gas station, kind of like a Maverick. There is a rolling grill containing the typical gas station hot dogs. I look at the two or three different types and their prices. There is a good price for three of them, so I think I’ll do that. I sort of self consciously think about what I’d look like carrying around three hot dogs with toppings. I now put two each on their own stale looking bun. There’s a fluid that runs off onto the bun; they look terribly under done, but still I keep them. Now, Caitie comes out of nowhere and, apparently working here, asks to see my ID. I’m not sure if she’s joking or not but, as we walk up to the counter, find out that she isn’t. I pull out my ID and give it to her, noticing how long this blue counter is. We talk for a bit and I think she’s really scrutinizing the ID.
Morning of August 10, 2019. Saturday. Dream #: 19,227-02. Reading time (optimized): 3 min. This online dream journal entry describes and explains chronological segments from instinctual dreaming, that is, dream exploration and control without so-called lucidity. Such dreams share the same processes, often in the same order towards the waking process. Their content mainly stems from modulatory factors of both (precursory) liminal space and enigmatic space with the usual dream state indicators, vestibular system adaptation, and wall mediation. My dream is atypical as it provides two porch settings, one for co-occurrence with liminal space, one for enigmatic space. (Usually, one porch serves as both in an amalgam. Because of that, I mostly only use the typification “porch as liminal space” as enigmatic space is tricky to confirm without reasonable evidence.) My ongoing dream vivifies with the process of exploring instinctual realization that I am asleep as has occurred every sleep cycle since I was a toddler. I find myself in the Cubitis house (irrelevant since 1978) without my conscious identity. Earl (half-brother on my mother’s side; deceased) is sleeping on the floor in my old bedroom with his head oriented toward the door. It is just light enough to see some detail. I have no recall he had died or any recall of ever having lived in Wisconsin at this point (only this Florida setting). There are stacks of books on the floor. Earl’s head is close to one small pile of about four books as he is on his left side (as I am in reality as sleep simulacra in dreams typically match my sleeping position). I tell him to be careful about one possibly falling on his head. (This is my subliminal directive to remain asleep, as books require wakefulness to read.) I see the moonlight through the south window and consider the beauty of my room. Dream processes progress toward liminal space emergence. There is a vague backstory of having human remains in a small sack (a play on being in bed). They represent the essence of my dream self being ephemeral illusory “remains” of my waking life identity. It is still nighttime. Regardless of just having been in the house in Cubitis, Florida, I am now on the front porch of the Barolin Street house in Australia. I recall I had placed the remains in the basement but in the open. I also consider I should check to see if there is enough food in the house. I wonder if Earl will need something to eat or drink soon. I soon see bright light shining up through the floorboards. I consider the basement light is on. Eventually, that area of the porch floor (south side) is missing, and I can look down to see one section of the basement. (Note that there was no basement in any house I have lived in, in Australia.) I realize I need to turn the light off, so the public does not see into our basement or start intruding upon that area. I go outside and walk around to the back of the Barolin Street house. Nevertheless, I soon reach the front of the Loomis Street house without a second thought. The porch door is erroneously at the south side instead of the front (east). At this point, enigmatic space emerges to a lesser degree. With ambiguity, I consider there may be people active on the street at the front of the house (even though it was the back of the house seconds ago). After I am on the porch, my perception of physicality intensifies. I vividly feel the hook as I fit it perfectly into the eye latch, oriented on the right. (This act is the most vivid part of my dream.) I wander around in the basement. I see various packages of food and consider how much effort was needed to place it in different areas. I see many boxes of cereal and packets of potato chips that are almost empty. My focus changes. I start thinking that there are two access points at the front of the house, my illusory thoughts again erroneously contemplating the front of the Barolin Street house. However, to the left would be the outside area of the Stadcor Street house. Instead of a basement wall directly in front of me, it is a garage door that opens into the front yard. I falsely recall this is how someone carried the groceries in. From here, I step into the lounge room of our present home (W Street). Zsuzsanna says something to me about needing a flashlight (consciousness).
I am going on a road trip with Brittney and I think Melissa also. I think that wherever we are going is around eight hours away. I think Brittney is going to drive the whole way, though I think about offering to help since we drive the same car. There is a sense of this being last minute, but not negatively so. Somewhere along the way we stop at a Jack in the Box? I order a number seven - some kind of cheeseburger. I think I initially said small, but the employee asks what size. I start to say large, but he remembers I said small, and it somehow gets brought to medium. Now we are waiting quite a while for our food to come out. I’m in what feels like the backseat of a car, sitting next to Melissa. I think Brooke and someone else are in the front seats (Brooke in the passenger seat), which seem way too close. Melissa has taken my penis out and is playing with it, I think going down on it once. A flight attendant? squeezes past in front of us, and I put my leg up, trying to hide the hardness against it.
I am sitting alone on some flight of large stone steps that lead down to a body of water. I’ve brought some food so I can sit down and eat it. I’m not sure if I’ve come down here to be alone or to possibly talk to some others. I think there are some others down here.
I am what I think is LeadDog with Dad (I’ve never been there, but in the dream this fairly nondescript and small outdoor seating is LeadDog). We’re sitting at a small, wire, circular table close to the wall. I think we might be with one other also. A waitress comes over for drink orders. Dad goes ahead, and I feel like I haven’t really had enough time, but I just ask for the IPA. I think we’ve gotten food also, and it comes out before the drinks. When the drinks finally do come, I receive a pint glass only about ¼ full. Dad’s is not much fuller. The beer is sort of a nice looking hazy orange, but I can’t believe how empty the glass is. I am turned off by the poor service and think about leaving a bad review. Now, Dad has left me and wandered off inside. After a while, I look for him. Through the window I see him with some tan guy about his age in a tank top cut off at the shoulders. Their arms are over a stool like they are going to arm wrestle, but they’re both holding a stein of beer. I guess the objective is to see who can hold it longer. They seem to struggle, though they’re only 0.5 liter steins. I go inside and the atmosphere seems a little better.
non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening Some animal rescue organization tells me there are some cats at a derelict building, which they feed, but fear for them because the building was vandalized during the night. They ask me to go check. When I arrive there I find Rinpoche in casual clothing feeding some kittens and surprised to see me. There is no time to talk as some other people immediately also join us. We look after the kitties. Later I walk through a park and find a baby duck walking by himself in a strange place. I kneel and he jumps on my lap. I cuddle him in delight. Then spot a lake with other ducks and take him there. But he jumps out of the water and again to my lap. I feel like adopting him but not the best idea. Go to some expo, don't know what about, but spot some food area and go there. They have Mexican and South American inspired food, all vegan. I wait in line to order something. Try to read the menu but don't know what anything means.
I am with Brittney and by some pool. I’m not sure if it’s in ground or a small, natural pool. The water looks clear and inviting. I’m pretty sure it’s a natural pool, as I think the water is lapping up against sand. I am outside somewhere that food is being served from a long table up against a wall. There is one in front of me, and he is getting the first large cut of a large slab of some kind of meat (it looks like the size of a small animal). I get the second slice, equally large. I put another large portion of something on my paper plate, making it just about full. I think I’ll have to come back later since I won’t have room for everything they have out on my plate. I think I am going on a road trip or driving somewhere fairly far away.
I am with Melissa and some unfamiliar others in what seems like someone’s home. There is some event going on where we are being fed. There is a long table with toppings and ingredients for hot dogs. There are a couple of ladies seated behind the table, serving. This table seems to be in a slight alcove. I am up now and getting jalapenos on my bun. I then get a hot dog. There is a small thing of mayo that I’m going to spread on with a knife. I think the mustard is in a squeeze bottle (*I seem to wake up right at this point).
non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening A police raid in a pub. I am with them, but I guarantee they'll find nothing besides a couple old people having some drinks. Once the cops are gone, I stay behind and the owners of the place take me to their underground bar / grocery store that provides food for illegal immigrants and is also a meeting point for marginals. Me, dad, cousin Cris, my aunt and late uncle, we are offered a weekend at my late grandparents house, which now has new owner, for a final goodbye. I enjoy every detail of it, look in detail to the old furniture still there, I go to the end of the hallway covered in spider webs, the back door plus the table and sofa and other small trinkets that my grandma kept there. Dad asks me for a favor, that I go outside and check something. Instead I go to the bathroom and have a psycho episode, grab a scissor and start cutting my hair. But I stop almost immediately and realizing a huge chunk of hair laying on the ground, I start crying with regret. I do not understand what led me to do it. I ask my cousin to see if it is too bad and she thinks not. Then at the kitchen my aunt tells me to eat something before I go. I start preparing breakfast but she tempts me with candies and a pudding. I go to the fridge to get whipped cream to put on top of it, but instead I put mayo and mustard on it. Then realize what I did and I can't explain it either. I start freaking out with my out of control mind. Followed by a reporter as I go with some Dharma brothers and sisters on some tour. One early morning we arrive at some location, get out of the car, everyone is exhausted and laying down on the ground. For some reason they start criticizing a girl who's wearing the same dress and shoes from another occasion. I don't understand what's their problem and tell them it's their minds getting tired and bored, because there is nothing wrong with the girls outfit, plus she looks gorgeous. The reporter is taking notes frantically with a smile.
non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening I am at an underground labyrinth looking for Dragon Balls. I spot a couple of them moving in different ways through corridors. I follow one direction, with a long corridor ending in huge stairs. It is very dark, so I imagine some lights illuminating the stairs, but not much light comes on. When I reach the top of the stars, I see a torch burning but it still is dark. Then a lady android, 2 meters tall, blocks my path and drags me down. I get rid of her, but she keeps going after me. I go around this place, which now looks like a vintage hotel. I find a kid and a guy, who are husband and daughter of the android lady (also androids). They also want to catch me, but I escape flying. I find a room with two human kids, surprised to see me. They ask me to hide, they are afraid the androids will come and see me. They suggest I go out the window and hang on the ledge outside. It's an old building with heavy wooden frames and it is possible to pass from window to window holding on to the wooden ledges. So I go watch other windows. I see other kids on other rooms. They are desperate to share messages. One girl delivers me a message, says some names and that I have to tell whomever that such and such must do whatever. At daylight I go back inside the building disguised as cleaning lady. It doesn't work so well. There is an android receptionist who is not fooled, but she is very slow reacting, so I run inside and hide under a table. Then I find a big hall where all the kids are sitting at round tables, cheerful. I deliver them the message from the girl before and they thank me. Then I have to hide again as androids join in. Later, when they leave, I sit with the kids and eat what seems fried fish. In front of me I see Trevor Noah and we have to share the same glass of water, because there is no other glass available. I joke about it and he seems to feel more awkward than gross.
I’m on a trip with my parents and an unfamiliar young man. We were all supposed to go to a casino—and they did actually go. But I didn’t care much for that plan, and so I’ve been off doing something else and only arrived back at the hotel room in time for their last trip there, late on the final evening. I have the impression that this is a place they’re familiar with, but this will be my first time there. I’ve been told not to bring my purse with me for whatever reason, but I don’t like going around without writing materials on hand, and so I say that I’ll just take my wallet out before I go. But it seems my parents are so eager to get back that, rather than waiting the couple of minutes this will take, they go on without me, leaving the young man to drive us there. Outside, it’s raining hard, and has been for a while, judging by all the standing water in the streets. As we go on, it only gets deeper, until the car, which is a fairly low one, starts having trouble moving forward. Some light on the dashboard has come on. He curses at the car—and quite probably my parents, who would have had no trouble handling this in theirs. I suggest that we just pull off the road onto higher ground, as some other cars seem to be doing, and walk the rest of the way there. It isn’t very far. He agrees to it. The next part I remember clearly is being inside the casino, in a large room with a grand staircase, crowded with fancily dressed people. On the upper floor, near a restaurant area, I meet up with my parents again. It’s sort of like a buffet, with tables in a horseshoe shape, each one with an attendant behind them, offering samples of various kinds of foods to the guests. Mother is going to get a chocolate milkshake—apparently, a favorite of hers there—but my father isn’t interested. The idea doesn’t appeal much to me either, and anyways, this is all new to me: I want to try things out before I order anything. He heads off somewhere else. I get some kind of a soup, and then head over to where they’re serving white wine. I try the sample they have there, which is pretty good—but they have all kinds of interesting drinks here, and this would be a good chance to try things I wouldn’t necessarily want a full glass of. And my mother is trying to get my attention from across the room, so I leave the table without ordering anything and head over in her direction. Then, suddenly, I feel a spray of cold water—and the people around me do as well, judging by how they’re crying out. It seems someone is spraying people with a hose. I move out of the way, wondering what that was about. Maybe the casino staff themselves are responsible. The whole reason this place exists is to take money from people, after all—I think it’s best not to lose sight of that—and it wouldn’t surprise me at all for one to start charging people to keep things going nicely, once they’ve got them used to it. Once out of range, I pause and kneel down to make sure the cat is still with me. He is indeed still there and comes to get pet. He’s an orange cat, an adult, though on the small side, and has been here with me this whole time. So far, nobody has noticed him—or else they just don’t care. But it’s still a little dangerous for him to be here with me, and so I’ve been making sure he stays close, waiting until I feel him against the back of my ankles before moving on. 11.5.19
non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening At some place, playing with someone's toys and I see a gorgeous realistic doll. The owner says it is for sale and not very expensive, still it's 39€. For this type of collectible it is cheap, but still is 39€ for a doll, so I get really divided and can't decide to buy it. Meanwhile, Riverstone comes along and he asks me for some money and I go to my wallet and have packs of money. I start taking all the bills out for counting and ask Riverstone to help. He starts counting and I need to go do something else but I more or less evaluate how much money that was from my week sales and it is quite a lot. I feel glad. Dad invited for some event with VIPs. He takes me along. He joins a bunch of old white people who are down in the garden playing a kind of mini golf and Trump is among them. When it's Trump's turn, he does some weird trick and my dad is under the impression he cheated. But from my viewpoint I don't think so, so I tell him that. My dad gets upset that Trump might actually be a good player. Anyway, as I watch closely this group of old pathetic weirdos, all sucking up to trump, I just feel compassion for the poor fucks, including the Donald himself who simply looks like a clown unaware of his own ridiculousness. Meanwhile they are being watched from afar by a group of younger people and I notice some dude staring at me and quite a few others also looking like wondering who am I and why I am among the old geezers. Then I get a big smack in the face. It's a girlfriend that just saw me there and is totally surprised to see me there. I wonder the same. She confesses she is around for something else and spotted me with that group and had to come and check. Back home (childhood home), I am with my dad and my three cats. My mom has a friend and some family coming over for a dinner and she got drunk on some liquor. I ask the name of it, because I also try it and it is really tasty. When the family members leave, my mom goes out with her friend. My dad is at the bathroom and when he comes out he gets really scared at something. I heard a noise, but I see nothing strange. Then I see the front door completely open and ask if that's why he got scared. He says no, but also doesn't explain, just goes to get some tools to fix something. I close the door and immediately go check on my cats. One by one I find them deeply asleep in different rooms. I feel relieved. Parking one of my cars at home (the farm), I notice something weird: my van is not a van, but a second small car. I go check and it is a flying car. I take it for a ride through the country. People walking below get scared but I am high enough not to be a danger. Then I slow down at the next village and an old neighbor who is walking his dogs makes several complaints. We discuss back and forth, but I tell him not to worry. If we conclude the car or my driving are dangerous, I will stop it. So the grumpy old man and I depart in good terms. Then his son comes along, arrogant, no respect for anyone and he wants to sue me. He carries on bragging about his properties and his rich inheritance as if it had anything to do with this situation. Doing a Buddhist retreat, staying at some big hostel, several floors high. I find my room, I am tired and just wanna go to my bunk bed. I start dressing my pajama pants, but my neighbor from the bed below invites me to go to the cafeteria for a while. I have very little money that I can spend but I am definitely hungry., so I accept. She actually needed someone to talk to. She says she gave an interview to some media and she is afraid she might have said too much about our retreat. I tell her I always share just the basic and other things I refer to my teachers and if they need, they can ask them. She orders something to drink, I order some kind of yellow thin pancake, the cheapest thing in the menu and then some generous folks come buy with plates full of food, leftovers they want to share, toasts, pasta, sponge cake... I am so happy and don't want to look greedy but I immediately dive on these plates and eat from all of it. Some guy who's into booze comes to find his drinking bottle grew and stretched into the sky like the bean stalk from the fairytale. Some graphic news on tv about a lady haidresser and her boyfriend who became dogs serial killers, because supposedly she was going through difficulties and started eating dog meat and cooking it to sell to others. They show graphic footage of her cooking live puppies in a barbecue and cutting the neck of a grand danois.
I am at the Alibi brewery with Melissa. It looks mostly different though - the bar area is smaller and seems shorter, with seating at the counter. It faces the chalkboard tap list and wraps around the end at a 90 degree angle, which is where we sit. It is not very crowded, but there is a fair amount of people, probably right before it gets busy. It is dim and laid back. Right away, a blond girl in her early 20s comes over to get our drink orders. Naturally, Melissa wants a water. She then looks to me, but I haven’t had enough time to choose a beer. I know there is one that I want, but I can’t think of the name. I say “uh…” while looking at the list, hoping she’ll help me out a little. Instead, she just says something like “wow, you do hate me/why do you hate me?” It could’ve been a playful joke, but with the way she said it, it came off as serious. She leaves and them comes back later for a food order. Melissa gets chicken strips. I’m still pretty turned off by the girl’s comment, so I don’t think I get anything, and she doesn’t seem to care anyway. Melissa now has her chicken strips, and they have brought me a beer. It’s only about ¼ full. I sip it, and it is the one I was thinking of (it tastes like some German style, maybe a doppelbock?) and tastes good. I just can’t really believe they served it that empty, so I snapchat it to Brittney. The bill is $40, $20 a person I figure. I want to tip her absolutely nothing, and I don’t think it would be unjustified. I consider writing her a note on the receipt as well.
Recent Comments
