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non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

At an office to apply to a course and a scholarship. I pass all tests but they say they'll give me the scholarship because they did an MRI while I was being interviewed and they say I have tumors in my left boob and need support. I am speechless and tell them I actually have cysts and tumors everywhere but not on my boobs and that makes no sense. Classes are all day on fridays and at first I am happy with the schedule, but then remember I am already going to another school and have a packed schedule on friday.

Some excursion to the north of Portugal. On arrival to some town there is a feast prepared for us. I am starving and jump right in, but others are quicker than me and all I get is some bread dipped in olive oil. There are some activities later, kids playing and adults picking fruits. I am flirting with some hunk who is into me, but at the same time is keeping his distances because he seems to not want others to know. I get bored and go for a walk and all of a sudden I am walking in Lisbon with my mom and aunt Lisa. I don't recognize the streets though, they look so good. Lots of glamorous cafés and restaurants. I see Tatiana dressed like a pinup, blond hair, looking gorgeous, entertaining some customers sitting on tables outside a café with her name. I can see she is doing really well. I think she sees me, but I pretend I don't and just keep going. I feel ashamed that I am a bit jealous of her. Meanwhile, we come across my dad who looks pissed, because he was kicked out of a store for not being well dressed enough. I think he looks ok, not posh but also not ragged. He speaks to my mom privately as they walk ahead and then he leaves. I ask her if he was trying to open a bank account at some posh bank and she says it was just a famous kitchenware brand store. And I was like wtf. Also commented that if it was Elon Musk in rags they would welcome him with open arms. She says he asked her help for shopping new clothes. Then mom and Lisa transform into Margarida and an old Japanese frail lady but I haven't adjusted to that change, so I treat the old lady as if she is Lisa and I make some joke and slap her hard in the arm. As a result, the old lady almost falls down and when I realize it, I apologize a lot. But the lady smiles gently and speaks very softly and tells me it's ok.

I had this dream about a month ago, but never wrote it down. I just remembered it today. It's 90% genuine, but some parts I had to fill in.
WARNING : IT IS VERY DISGUSTING.

I appear on a large boat (ship). I am a new worker on this boat. We are in a different time period. It seems a decade or two in the future. Society has collapsed and people are trying to survive. There is a lack of food in the world. The boat I'm on is going on a long journey. We are likely traveling across the ocean. It will be several months before we make contact with any land.

The ship is industrial. This is far from some luxury cruise; it's a working ship. One of the managers leads me down to the barracks underneath the deck. Upon walking down there, I notice a profound smell of sewage. It's not a normal sewage smell, it's more of a sweet swampy sewage smell. There's also a chemical smell on top of it that somewhat covers it up and makes it smell plasticy. To be more blunt, it's a really rotten smell. As I continue down the stairs, this wafting humidity keeps blasting me in the face. It's more humid than a sauna down there.

I get to the bottom of the stairs and enter the room. The room has bunk beds in one section (but a few additional beds added as an afterthought). In between some of the bunk beds are these large vent tubes. You know the kind of industrial PVC tube that comes out of the ground in industrial areas. The tubes are about 1 foot in diameter and bend down at the top to form a partial U shape. Jetting out of these tubes is fog that smells like I described - bad. The crazy thing is that these other workers have to sleep down there, right next to the sewage vents.

I meet some of the other workers. They are shirtless and dirty. They don't bother wearing any shirts because they get wet and dirty immediately. When I talk to them, they seem friendly and somewhat accustomed to the environment (although not completely). The metal floor is slimy and slippery. In some places there is sludge and sewage on the floor. They tell me to take off my shoes cause I won't be needing those. We all glide across the floor as we walk. They've gotten used to sliding to move apparently. I think to myself how much of a health hazard this place is, but it seems like we were all desperate and just had to make do with the situation.

The men teach me the purpose of this place and what my job was. This boat is a fully sustainable boat. Our waste goes into the container below this floor and it gets processed chemically. The sludge is then atomized and sprayed out the tubes. Underneath some of the tubes, you can see some small gardens growing out of the sludge. There is no sunlight or windows down there, but it just grows on it's own. It's mostly mushrooms and root vegetables that are growing, but there's also eggs growing on the ground.

They told me to go fetch a basket from the rack. There is a rack of baskets hanging that look like metal kitchen colanders. I was meant to go hunting for eggs and mushrooms in the sludge. I was then meant to clean them off and put them in the colander. I began doing my duties. Whenever I got close to the vent, I had to hold my breath and then run away to catch a breath.

Nobody really wanted to be there, but this is how we survived. We grew stuff, pooped and grew again. We could survive forever this way. I sensed we were going to be out at sea for a very long time.

20th July 2021

Fragment:

I'm with H I think and someone else, a woman, maybe a lead character from something. At first we're "silently" killing Combine soldiers with desert eagles as we descend through a compound via some long and wide stairs, not unlike those in HFC instances although the setting looked sort of Half-Life-ish I suppose. (I say "silently" because the guns are actually stupidly loud but if we kill the soldiers with one shot or two very quickly, nobody else is alerted even if they are standing next to them)

I'm constantly low on ammo as I can see on a Half-Life 1-like GUI. I feel the other two are picking up all the ammo and leaving none for me, probably not on purpose. Near the end of this segment, we screw up a silent kill because of the distance and gun inaccuracy, all of the enemies have now become alert and we have a kind of stand-off at a landing on the stairs, we have the higher position. We use smoke grenades to force them to come a bit closer to reduce ammo waste, especially since I'm so low on ammo. I recall I have an UZI that I swap to but see that it only has two bullets left and become annoyed, since my DE is about to run out too.

Then for some reason, lots of food stuff is out next to us in the middle of all of this, tinned food mostly.

Fragment:

Near the end of this fragment. Something about a facility with a reactor in it, which has been running on edge. Earlier in this dream I was at this location but many years in the past, and this present is a time of post-destruction. Someone wants me to have a look at the reactor.

(The area of this fragment reminds me of a deathmatch map from HL1 that I must have spent a considerable amount of time playing in with my siblings.)

12th June 2021

Fragment:

At a supermarket, buying some things I think in the frozen food aisles.

Unfortunately can't recall more than that anymore.

I am at Melissa’s house and logged onto Dante’s Zoom class fairly late. Alex, and I think Cody, are here and at times they can be seen in my background (I have moved around a few different times). I hear Alex ask Cody if he likes the Tedeschi Trucks band. He pronounces it ‘ta-deshy’, whether seriously or not I’m not sure. I know I started out in front of a blue curtain, but now I’m in a little hallway between the garage and house. I’m wearing a hat and/or hoodie and Melissa says something about them not recognizing me. Melissa steps over me once and once again on her way back - it is almost sexual. I’m not sure I’m worried about anyone seeing. Now I think we’re on a break and I’m in what looks like Dad’s backyard. We’re back now and playing a Jeopardy type game. I don’t think I’ve even had my volume up for most of this class. I think the class is scheduled to go later but he cuts it a little early. I am eating some chicken nuggets or strips. The sky looks like a nice later afternoon with a few stray clouds.

28th April 2021

Fragment:

Spoiler for short explicit fragment:

Something about my genitals? I try to clean up but fluids (semen, blood, urine) are leaking.

Fragment:

Repairing a circuit board but the solder is a vivid cobalt blue and the soldering iron is magnetic which annoys me because it frequently moves away against my will. I don't do too well anyway. I have to go across some traces but I'm not sure which ones and find myself wanting an original board for a side-by-side comparison so I can know what I'm doing.

Fragment:

AH is alive. We're in a library? It's dark and there are some computers too, I think. The shelves and furniture are all dark wood stain.

AH looks much younger, younger than me, even.

Fragment:

Blueberry tart thing which some guy makes over at a cafe in L. This guy is a young chef, pretty stereotypical look for a white male of his age of that area. H is with me at some point, I think I become excited about the food?

---

Notes:

- I have recently seen AH's profile be online, this has confused me and I haven't attempted to communicate with whoever is using it. I have some sort of apprehension about it because I'm afraid of it actually being AH, which I know would lead to me ultimately feeling betrayed and deceived, again.

- In the first fragment, my first thought after recalling was that the three fluids in question are inseparable parts of what it means to be a living being of our complexity.
-- The requirement of satisfying basic needs is something that has always both bothered me and intrigued me in some sense. I have often wished that these mortal aspects did not have to be a part of our existence as conscious beings, but part of me also knows that a lot of meaning is/can be derived from the needs of survival.

- Come to think of it, it's curious the blueberry tart involves blue and the solder was a essentially a vivid blue, too. I am not sure right now of what significance it has at the moment.

I'm in the guest room downstairs with mom. I realize it is a dream and walk out. I look up at the sky and scream out "sky, take me with you!". Gravity is turned upside down for me and I accelerate towards the sky. There is a thick layer of clouds and gravity is centered by the layer. That makes it so that I first go upwards over the sky but slowly turn down to it again. When I hit the clouds on the way down I notice that the clouds have changed location and are right above the ground by my home. That makes it so that it is very foggy. I climb the gate and it is bigger than in reality. When I'm on top I fly away to town. I walk on the street and try to remember what I wanted to do in the dream. It's frustrating because I can't remember. I think about how I can ask my dream characters a joke. But since they are my unconsciousness they would know the answer if I told them a joke I knew the answer to. That's why I ask them a joke I don't know the answer to. "How did the cow and the wheat meat?", I ask a man. He seems confused and I tell him that I tell him the joke because he is a part of my mind. There are now three DC:s and they seem to accept that truth. I keep on walking and see a girl in my age. She is very prominent and start to talk with me. She is self independent and do as she likes. She is a bit shorter than me and we start to walk home to me. We talk a lot. When we come home we meet my cat Isa. The girl talks about a dog. After some time I leave home and fly away. As I fly over the gate gravity is changed again and I reach the clouds. I fall to the ground fast after I have touched the clouds. I remember that it was a long time since I opened a window to enter a new dream scene. I fly to a window that is transparent. I smash the window with my fist and succeed. I try to open the window but I'm not able to. A boy is inside and I ask him if he can take the key and open. He doesn't want to at first but as I struggle to come inside he says that he can fix it. He opens the window and I climb in. There is a big table and four old ladies enter. They ask me if I want to join them in dinner. I say okay and sit down by the table. They lay the table with tacos but they only have cucumber, tomatoes and corn which I find kind of dull. I start to eat and the flavor is mostly of cucumber. The lady next to me asks me if I can visit them again in a hostile tone. She reminds me a lot of my physics teacher now. I tell her that I can't because I'm only visiting this dream and won't be able to return. She pushes me harder and asks me if I don't want to visit them again. I stand up for myself and tell her that I don' want too. During the conversation she stood up from the chair and I had to back up as she came closer to me. I run for the window and try to fly out. She grabs me by the legs and holds me so that I hang from the window. She starts to swing me and tries to swing me back to their flat. As she is just to throw me in the dream becomes black.

Notes: I really have to train how to retain my memories from reality in the dream. A recurrent theme through my dreams are evil old ladies, I wonder why.

I'm laying on an air mattress on the floor and waiting for the other people to walk out of the room. I just want to be left alone. A leader, about 25 years old, comes to me and ask me how I'm doing. I tell him I'm okay but I hear that my voice is trembling and I feel that my face is getting red because of tears. I look down on the ground. He says that he don't think that I am okay. When he says that I feel how my head is getting warmer. It is getting very warm. He takes me outside and I only feel worse. I puke on the porch and he seems upset. It comes in two waves, first a small one, and then a big one. The puke is slimey and won't leave my mouth easily. I have to spit the last out.

Notes: I had a bad presentation yesterday.

I'm with dad and my brother on a restaurant/store. We buy some things and sit down by a table. Dad and my brother eat some kinds of pastries with chocolate. I want to be nice to the cashier and want to buy him something he can eat. I ask dad if it is okay and he says it's okay. I buy him a chocolate pastry but regret my decision, the strawberry pastry with whipped cream looked better.

Notes: It was the same strawberry pastry dad and I ate by risk 2:an.

24th April 2021

Fragment:

In a train station hub or maybe it's a subway. It's a vast place, made mostly out of concrete as far as I can remember. Either way, it's busy. I remember daylight shining through in places and I am walking in a tunnel of sorts with someone, maybe JoCo.

Fragment:

I'm in the kitchen, looking in the cupboard with the tinned and packaged food, I think? I notice some tortellini packs are missing most of the tortellini and they look vacuum packed. Some have like three or four bits of pasta at most and that's it. I feel annoyed that I somehow missed this detail at the shop and feel it'll be annoying to have to return these. I think to myself something like "they clearly aren't fit for having a full meal like this".

Note:

- Later the same day I think, I was talking to H about the second fragment and it was pointed out to me that the tortellini is always vacuum packed. I had not consciously realised this until that point.

I'm hiding in the pantry downstairs. I see the intruder through the door. The intruder open the door and I am pushed to the side. The intruder walks in to the kitchen again and I see that it is Hugh from class. They are pouring out honey in a big circular glass container. I to that later in the dream too.

I'm in the park next to Hemmakväll and look at some video tape from the same place. A person in the video from my class takes some yellow baseball bat looking sticks and puts them under the feet as the person tries to climb a stair. It is very hard but I don't see they do it, only as they start to climb and disappear. It is my turn on the tape and I fail too. Wencai has two golf clubs and walks on them instead. He succeeds. I feel defeated.

I'm listening to Stefan Löfven and Jimmy Åkesson. Löfven sympathizes with Åkesson and dad talks about politics and has the tone when he thinks I am wrong about something. Åkesson walks up and talks but all the people in the crowd dislike him.

I'm at Lidle and I pick an orange juice box from a shelf.

I'm walking to the chair in the TV-room and suddenly wake up. I am very confused because I think that I was just to sit down but now I lie in my bed.

Notes: It may have been a FA but I don't think so.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

I am coughing a lot. Feeling lots of mucus down my throat. I go to the bathroom and spit a lot of mucus out and then feel something coming out up my throat into my mouth and I grab it. Turns out it is some kind of worm and I have to pull it hard and I think I rip it apart and only get the head out. Disgusted and worried, I go to the doctor and while there I have another cough attack. I explain what's going on and the doctor mobilizes a couple nurses to help me with puke it all out to some container. I puke a lot of mucus again, but no more worms. The doctor analyses the worm that I brought in in a jar and says it is really just the end of a long tapeworm still inside me. He prescribes me a pill to kill the worm - although probably already dead without the head - and for my body to expel the rest of ot, but even the doctor isn't sure if that's gonna work.

I am with Riverstone at some foreign country to help a couple scientists who we know and are in trouble. The world thinks they are dead, but turns out they were just hiding. They are an old gay couple and look cartoonish, with big curly mustaches and strange shaped heads, also one is tall and thin as hell and the other is basically a dwarf. Thy also wear early 1900s clothing style. I have so many questions, but what matters is that they are ok. They have been staying in the house of a lady scientist, who gave them shelter. We meet them at some mall but then they take us to her house and when we arrive there, her kitchen floor is flooded with water. But apparently it is on purpose, she is fostering some odd looking ducklings and leaves the water running. She tells us on the phone that she has a drain under the cabinets that keeps draining the water so it doesn't go after a certain limit.
They then take us along with them to the university, where she is presenting the discovery they made that is the reason they went into hiding. Nobody in the audience knows what she is going to show. It's just some lecture about cell biology.
She basically shows microscopic videos inside cells and everyone is amazed at the quality of it, totally mind blowing. People want to know the technique. Then she points to some very small structures I have never seen in a cell and ask us all if we cab guess what that is. Riverstone jokes that it is the Instagram logo and in fact it looks like it. Nobody else seems to have a clue to what it is, but I do. I say "it is an eye!", to which she confirms it is in fact a synthetic microscopic eye that can be planted at the cellular level, is totally organic, functions like an organelle and can watch anything inside the human body at the cellular level, but also somehow sends out an input to a computer interface so that we can actually see what they see. Everybody is mind blown.

I go out to eat something with someone, but everything around is so expensive, we decide to go to a small fast food deli with good vegan burgers. One of the cooks is Beta, a lady that was one of my educators when I was a kid. She and a colleague are baking some delicious orange cakes and they get a bit annoyed when we order burgers and fries, like that was not on their plans. But they manage actually pretty fast. They ask if we want dessert to complete a menu and I say I want one of those orange cakes. They say no because it is some important order for someone to pick up and are not available to other costumers. I insist on just a small piece but Beta is adamant and very protective of her cakes so I settle for something else. I also notice somehow the cost of the menu is now 3x higher than what they said it would cost at first, but I don't say anything.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Some avant-garde show or ritual where some guy goes around defying the audience to dance inspired by what they are watching. Many on the audience seem to be professional dancers by the way they move. Then someone starts passing a lamb head as a prop. But the lamb head is alive and I feel horrified, but not like scared, but worried for the "animal". So I kidnap the lamb's head and run away with it. Take it to the vet and they say it needs surgery to survive. After we get some more info about the origin of the animal, the vets tell me I need to go to Africa and get something that will heal the animal. Once in Africa, in some remote village, I need to pass a door with two guards. I try seducing them, but they don't flinch. Then ask me for a million dollars to go in. I explain the situation and say it is to save an animal's life and they reduce to half a million, which is still ridiculous but I agree to and they let me in. I then steal whatever was inside the guarded house and return to the vet. The lamb is now able to get its surgery and regrow a body. Later I get a call from the vet saying the animal is doing great.

I married to some rich family, but I have this feeling I did it against my will and feel unhappy. I am walking with my family through some hipster area of old docks now turned into restaurants and bars. By the other side of the river I see Manhattan. I am walking ahead of them, making a little dance waving a white shawl in the air, feeling empty inside. Then I encounter Zilla by chance and she walks with me. She spots some vegan fast food and invites me to come along. I do and let go of whomever I was with before. Riverstone is there too and although it's mid morning, they both wanna eat lunch. At first I say they are crazy but then I give in to the idea and ask for an Impossible Burger. While we sit at a table, I get notified that I have an exam to renew my driving license renewal in a day or two and I panic because I wasn't aware and haven't studied shit.

I am dating Seth Rogen. I am half lucid, so at first I feel like "Why didn't I chose some hunkier guy to fool around with?". But he is extremely sweet and I actually start feeling the hots for him. We're sitting on a bed or couch, making out, and when I kiss him he gets really excited, in a very adorable innocent way that makes me want him more. He starts reaching out to his pants and I am totally into it. But then I notice that there is another bed to our side and two girls are sitting on it, watching us and that disturbs me. Worse, I spot a red demon under their bed and see that he is about to snatch one of the girls, so I jump to grab her and rescue her. The demon gets pissed and starts projecting long arms, claws and tentacles and weird heads coming from under the sheets, without ever leaving the bed area. I beat him as hard as I can until he kinda retreats and I sunk into the wall.

My mom is with her friend Paula. We are at an ice cream shop and I look for a vegan flavor. There is one for the stupid price of almost 25€. I complain a lot to the seller and he seems not to understand my complaint. Then I realize that's the price for a whole bucket of like 5 to 10 lt and I apologize and ask how much for a cone with a ball. I then follow my mom and Paula to a car. They didn't get ice cream so Paula is offering something else like crackers to my mom and ask if I want some to. Then we go get my dog Hachi and Paula goes get some other dog like animal on a leash to accompany us on a walk, but it is some dog-like alien with green body parts. I insist that she keeps a good distance from me and Hachi, because Hachi already reacts bad to other dogs, let alone alien dogs, but she keeps forgetting and getting to close for comfort. One time they almost get into a fight, so I give up on this walk and we take the dogs away. Later on I accompany them again to some kind of old garage where mom is talking to the owner and some guy offers us crackers and cheese. I am giving it a try when my Sensei enters the place. First he pretends not to see me while he talks to the rest of the people, clearly nervous about approaching me. I also pretend not to have seen him in the first seconds, but then gather courage and I say hi and give him a hug. He feels relieved and actually a bit overjoyed, so then he gropes my breast and pretends it is by accident, but I know it wasn't. I ask about the classes, he says it all stopped because of the pandemic, but that he misses it a lot. I say I do to. I wonder why he doesn't ask me why I left the classes way before the pandemic started.
Music starts playing, some Latino rhythms like salsa and he and everyone else start dancing. I don't want him to invite me to dance, so I leave through a back door into a backyard and I see my mom is already there with some new age "kumbaya" group. They seem harmless, so I let her be. Then they invite us to go on a boat trip and I start drifting from the dream. Probably had a very brief episode of FA and felt my bed shake like there was an earthquake, but that brought me back to the dream on the boat. I laugh and tell my mom that when the boat started the engines, it coincided with me feeling my bed in RL shaking and she laughs.

I am again semi-lucid, back on land at some ground floor mall at some private condominium, but the atmosphere is dark and heavy and I see no one around. I also feel watched by agents or demons whom I know to be present in the dream, ready to attack me. I walk through the corridors and sense a presence following me. I do evasive maneuvers until I find an exit and run around the building to try and see me stalker. It is some shady guy who disappears again. I see a lady walking away with the alien dog from Paula. I fly upwards to assess my surroundings and then land in some university campus, which I find lovely. Each faculty seems to have a theme, for instance, literature classes take place in a mini medieval village, where each house is a classroom and people gather around communal tables to debate topics, instead of facing a teacher. I walk a bit through the narrow streets, the houses are all ground level timber-framed and feel very cozy. At the end of one of the streets there is a bigger building, like and open hangar, but it is a tavern or bar, and the decoration changes completely. It is 60s and cinema inspired. It has the colors and the furniture typical from the 60s and posters of old spy movies on the walls. There is a door leading to the parking lot with a toll booth. A vintage car from the 50s just stopped at the booth and when I approach, a bunch of gangsters come out of it and point guns at me. Turns out I also have a gun and also drop it on them. For some reason they stand down and leave. My cat Yéti comes out of nowhere and I pick him up. Once on the normal city streets, I see my mom's apartment building or a very similar one, but with a few more balconies. I see the details like the tiles on the walls and feel extremely nostalgic about it, to see how detailed it is engraved in my memory. Then I fly upwards and take notice of the rest of the buildings around, think about getting beyond this and do something interesting. I fly higher and higher, until what I see below me is an African plain at sunset, as far as the eye can see. I feel free and relaxed, but my cat Yéti who I am still holding, is getting pretty nervous and wanting to jump, so I look for some place to drop him safely. There is a house floating in the air, no front wall for some reason, so I just go inside. I am planning on resting there for a while, see if Yéti can be left there safely, but the house starts tilting and everything in it slides through the open wall and falls into the void below us. Some old Asian lady comes in from another room, looking surprised to see me and in panic. I only have time to grab Yéti again and I jump into the void to fly away on my terms instead of falling.

I am in a room talking with BTS and I find them all very nice and smart people. I decide to become their fan and wonder if any of the guys in the band is single, so that I could hang out with. I sit between two of them and one, I think the youngest, immediately leans on my shoulder and gets really close. I was fantasizing about dating one of them, but all of a sudden I feel like he is pushing it a bit too much too soon, so I tell him nicely to back off amd take it easy. The others laugh.

I’m going through an In’N’Out drive through with Mom in the passenger’s seat and I think Makayla in the back. This one doesn’t look like any I’ve been to - it seems too small and dingy. The menu is also incredibly tiny and therefore hard to see, so it’s good that I know what we’ll want without having to look at it. I order Mom a #1 with a chocolate shake and myself a #4. *I’m still in the middle of ordering when I’m cut off and awakened by my alarm going off.




I’m either at a Grateful Dead show or watching a video of one. I’m mainly, or only, seeing a fairly young (mid 1970s?) Jerry and Phil. At one point I am so close that I can see their teeth in great detail, Phil’s being thick and wide and Jerry’s being tall and skinny. They are each singing and playing with vigor. The song seems fairly long and jammed out. Now, I am seeing a setlist, I think online. It has track times, so I see that indeed some songs got pretty long - around 16 minutes. At least one title I didn’t recognize, which is very uncommon, if it ever happens, for me.
*Listening to Furthur last night, I was thinking about Phil’s singing.

11th March 2021

Content in spoilers mostly due to length.

Spoiler for Fragment::

In a town that's an altered version of where we live now, but a mix of old home too.

The street where we live joins with a wider and busier street. H has left the car on the road of this street. It's daytime, before noon or so, shadows are slightly cast but it actually feels like early afternoon perhaps.

I get concerned about the car getting hit; it looks like dad's car, but I don't realise this at all in the dream. I don't think H is actually nearby but we're talking, as if he was next to me; not by phone or anything. And I ask him if he wants me to move the car for him, but he doesn't want me to because he's afraid of me hitting something, specifically when reversing, which I think I imagine doing. Imagination blends with regular dream reality?

Nearby, there's a store. I go in it for a reason I don't recall anymore. It's a mix of several types of shop, or also a cafe? I feel awkward because I'm not really making use of the services/shop and so eventually I want to get something. I want a milkshake. I am asked what I want in it and I say I want pineapple, mango and carrot.

(tiny recall gap)

Then, I am somehow shoulder deep, sort of lying down, in some ice inside a chest freezer. But I'm relaxed and don't feel cold at all. A white woman with ginger-ish hair, looking native to where we live, comes by and politely asks me if I want the carrot peeled or not. I say, I do, and she smiles compliantly as she goes outside my field of vision.

I then turn a bit and see she's peeling it with a knife. I perceive she's doing it in a way dangerous to herself (motion away from her) and so I tell her that she doesn't have to put herself at risk like that and that it'll be fine with the peel on, actually.

But she insists in peeling this carrot. I remember the knife was like an orange-coloured one we have in our kitchen, but this blade was a different shape, a bit curved and scimitar-like?

She had to stop as there was a big change now going on, of the staff shifts at this place. Lots of people came downstairs, many went out, many came in.

(recall gap)

Later I'm at a place that is like a converted industrial building. Like many other local buildings in the dream, it's mostly sandstone on the outside, but looks more regular/contemporary inside.

(at this point I turned my recall into scraps because I became distracted as I wrote notes)

I live at this place with H and my siblings. There's also a lady, maybe in her 40s or 50s, who's here with us too. She doesn't resemble anyone I know personally but in retrospect she's a bit like a mix of Cruella and Effie Trinket. This white and skinny lady wants a bathroom put in, because apparently there isn't one. I have no problem with this and think there's a spare room at the other side of the house, but actually there isn't, when I go check.

I go back with her and inspect the hall cupboards she'd mentioned initially as a potential location. I open the door to this cupboard/pantry room and it's huge. It'll be more than fine for a bathroom, I think.

In a corner, there's a bin bag. There's a strange pile of stuff that looks like decomposing organic matter and not unlike animal detritus... There are eggs on it, they are a pale and slightly off yellow-green colour.

The lady fiddles with the bin bag. From this organic pile and under the bag, bugs start to hatch and rats appear. First a few, then many. We end up leaving the house.

Some rats have green fur. Many are the size of a large dog, or bigger. All of these creatures swarm (seemingly) randomly through the town throughout the rest of the dream, but this aspect loses focus in the dream and becomes part of the background in some sense.

I end up meeting up with L and there's some aerial scripted camera view-event. He's playing a game and I remember a screen. There's a weird filmic transition.

Rest of recall is gone.

---

Spoiler for Notes::

- I ended up feeling this dream was quite personal in some ways but I don't think I'll restrict its viewing in this case.

- Maybe the most notable thing is that later this day I had an experience that seemed to relate to something which I ended up reading up on about defecation and rats, in one of my books about symbology. Although normally I don't ascribe a lot of direct value to pre-defined symbolisms like what I read, but it does seem to relate strongly to some aspect of my life. This is something that's part of a very old set of questions for me and its processing has been very slow, to the point where it's been very rare to have threshold moments like this one.

- It's possibly one of the very few times I've dreamt about rodents, if at all. I feel there was a big symbolic implication of (assumed) filth in that pile, as denoted by the eggs too. From another point of view, from such filth there is still life that thrives and is born of itself. On a more basic level I find this relates to a more basic interest in literally dirty things that I have no eagerness to become involved in while fully conscious.

- This dream has come after a few significant things, namely, artwork I've been making for someone, which involved a rodent, as well as discussing things about dirty stuff (again, in the most basic and literal sense) with H and basically forcing myself to challenge my own conscious attitudes of avoiding mess and filth and so on.
-- More importantly, recently I have found myself re-evaluating how I'm presenting myself and my artwork. I had created a separation not unlike what I have with DV and the rest of myself and instinct and intuition are telling me, or driving me, to tear this separation down in my artwork and to stop sharding myself in that respect; to become whole in some sense, with whatever consequences that may have. Oddly, this has also come after some unexpected discussion with L.

- I haven't had any dreams featuring bugs, and pests like this in general, for quite some time and in this dream I did not feel fear or disgust at any of these situations; some mild curiosity, if anything.