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comment dream lucid

Thinking a lot about dreaming before falling asleep.

Ramp
Driving a motorbike off a ramp, jumping into the air. It was supposed to test something, maybe how someone got killed. Beaches all around and low tide.

Walk with V
With V in the forest, talking about how often I go out. I told him I help my family walking their dog.

Hair
I was talking with someone about which hairstyle I would like.

False lucid
I was walking down a path, playing some game. I think I did it for a second time and in an opposite direction, but that was just a vague memory. The rules were that you had to be lucid and do various tasks.
There was a corner of a rock where the path led along a narrow ledge and I met a boy and a girl there. I offered the girl if she wanted to sit with me for a while and we crawled into this grassy alcove, letting the boy pass.
I asked her what her name was and she told me her name. I told her I was Indigo. I asked how it was going so far and she said good, but she actually wanted to go so she wouldn't waste her time. So we said goodbye.
It occurred to me that I've been lucid for a long time, that I've never had a LD this long, like 2 hours. But good for me - long LD = better chance of winning for me, while others have to do it in parts.
I checked the paper with the tasks and it said to rubb our hands, so I did it, even though I thought I didn't need to, but I saw the organizer in front of me, so I wanted to get points.
Then I saw more organizers around the corner and there was a fridge and I climbed on it and rearranged some food. I suddenly knew they were evil and decided to confront them - I told them I knew who they were and that they were serving the dark lord. They had a gun. I said they could kill me, but I had a plan to escape by waking up
I closed my eyes and opened them and nothing, I was still there. That surprised me. I tried again and failed again. I remembered the reddit poll "can you wake up from a LD" and my answer "yes, reliably". That's what I get for that.
I tried blinking really fast again, but it didn't work.
Then I was in this labyrinth of big metal cabinets. I felt like I'd been lucid for an awfully long time, hours. I asked the organizers what they had done to my body in reality, that I was still asleep. They grinned, which worried me. Maybe I'm in a coma or something. But maybe not, and I have to wake up sometime. I figured there was probably a purpose for me there, something I needed to do. Somehow save everything and defeat them.
I had this stick in my hand with some roots on the end. I've been poking around under the cupboards with it, seeing if there's some object that will allow me to save everything. I must have a reason to have that stick for...
I felt myself waking up, and I thought "finally".
I knew instantly that I was waking up from a false lucid.

I logged keywords for the dream because I really liked it and wanted to remember.
I felt confident that there could be a LD after this. I reiterated the intention to lucid dream. It took me some time to fall asleep again.

Train to Birmingham
I was at the station and it was about trains. Z said there was a train leaving for Birmingham and she was going to take it. I said that the train to Birmingham was useless to me, that we usually go via Manchester, and she was surprised.
I walked with her on the way to the trains and there was the time and the Birmingham sign by the steps to the platform and it was flashing as if the train was about to leave. I hesitated for a moment but let it go, it wouldn't do me any good.
I went back to the main concourse to look at the departures board to see what else was coming. The board was just changing. That's all I remember - the next was probably the transition into the false awakening.

Real lucid - Meeting my dream guide
I woke up in our bedroom and immediately suspected it was a FA. But as soon as I realized it, my vision got worse and I could only see two blurs. I was afraid I was going to wake up, but I knew I was still in a dream. It occurred to me to start picturing a deck chair and a beach or something, as what people do when they have sleep paralysis.
Suddenly something disturbed me and I opened my eyes and I was awake and it was still a FA. Yes!
I sat on the bed and R was awake next to me and there was also J. I knew I could ignore them, but I wanted to make them disappear with a snap of my fingers like in the daydream rehearsal, so I tried, but it didn't work, which I guess amused them a little.
I started looking at what was the same in the room and what was different. Almost everything looked the same to me. There were these shelves and these pictures. I noticed that the frames of the pictures were a different color than they were IRL (actually, almost everything was different and we had no pictures or shelves IRL).
There was also a wall cabinet with a brown fabric curtain and I had the feeling that something green was peeking out - an iguana. I went to look, but my cat came out.
Goals! Verbal commands and then meeting my dream guide. I try "Clarity now!" but the dream already has great clarity, so what can improve? On the contrary, it gets slightly worse. But only for a moment. I leave the room and try "Increase lucidity", but nothing noticeable happens. I see a green jacket on the rack and I try to make it disappear. Might be easier than with humans. But nothing. I try again and the whole hallway to the living room disappears in a blur.
I use the door to the second bedroom and walk into a large room that looks like a gym. There are mats, exercise equipment, and large windows facing the city street.
I try to do a somersault on the mat, but I stop halfway through and just roll. The movement feels realistic.
Goals! I walk across the room and shout "Dream, dream, give me my dream guide".
I turn around and there's a curtain to the left of the windows (probably a mini room with more equipment) and my guide comes out from behind the curtain. She's a black woman, in her fifties, maybe early sixties (probably not, her hair is still dark brown/black and not grey), curvy but not obese, with big boobs. I met her once before in a daydream and she was an old white woman but I know it’s her.
I said, "You've been here the whole time." She nods.
We go and sit down on the leather upholstered couch that's appeared there for us. I said I didn't know how much time we had, or maybe she asked, either way, I knew she wanted and needed to know.
I replied, "I'm not going to lie to you. I didn't come straight here. But I tried not to linger too long."She nods.
I asked: "Will you teach me something?" She smiled.
I started to wake up. Maybe she wanted to teach me DEILD? But more likely I was too excited

comment dream lucid

Falling asleep approx. 5
I vaguely remember having a FA in the first cycle.
Awakening, can’t sleep because I am not feeling well. Time approx. 7. Taking ibuprofen to be able to sleep.

Double FA
I was sleeping in a long room with a bed. Then I was examining the room because I didn’t like something about it.
I wake up in our bedroom. There is a wide blue ribbon hanging in our window, decorating the curtains. At first, I remember the long room - I am not there anymore - and I realize I woke up from a dream. Then I realize what the blue ribbon means. R wakes up too, also notices the ribbon and is confused. I tell him that it is a FA. Jokingly, because it is not real, I start to bite him like trying to eat him. But he screams like it’s real, so it isn’t funny. I want to “correct” the false awakening, focus as much as I can and wake up for real.

Time approx 9. I don’t like the stupidly wasted opportunity but I can tell that my baseline awareness tonight is high and I am confident there will be another lucid dream later.
Our cat starts doing noise, wanting to be let out of her room.
Then she gets quiet and every time I feel like falling asleep, she starts again.

The cat problem
R went to solve the cat problem (blocking the door so she can’t scratch them and/or letting her out).
R and I are again in the long room, there is another bed this time and two more people - a well known politician and his wife.
Then there is some police activity going on and someone related to IT, there is a capable young IT guy doing something.

I wake up from the dream because the cat makes noise again!!! How is that possible, when I remember R… ok, that was a dream. But I am confused for a while. Then I tell R, who also isn’t sleeping, to go and do it for real.
Time 10:55
I try to WILD but R next to me can’t sleep and I feel too distracted by him tossing and turning. Then I (almost) fall asleep but I wake up because I can hear his frustration - he says I was snoring. This happens once more. I don’t feel like sleeping but I know I can’t really tell…
I am getting seriously frustrated because heightened awareness means nothing when I can’t fall asleep deeply enough to be dreaming.

Seeing squares
I am with my mother, in a room that resembles the long room from previous dreams but there is no bed this time. There are two windows, I peek through the blinds to look outside. I don’t see much the weather is bad and the visibility low. I try the second window, there should be mountains visible but I don’t see anything and my vision is bad, like there are square gaps.
I sit behind a table with my mother and parts of my vision are still like pixellated, with some squares gray, which surely isn’t normal. I tell my mother that I think this could be a dream and she strokes my hand, looking pleased that I figured it out.
I am not 100% sure yet, more like 99% sure. I get up and run towards a distant door, focusing on how it feels and quickly getting 100% sure. As everything around me gets slightly blurry, I slow down.
As I reach the door, I decide to pass through it just because I know I can. It works like in the previous dream, the door open in the middle to let me pass through, like a double door. I do it once more with another door.
I am outside and there is a black basketball player, looking like Michael Jordan, practicing shooting. I take the ball from him to try it too. We are very far from the basket but this is a dream, so certainly I can throw further than I would in reality. I try it but the ball doesn’t go far enough and it veers off to the right. I don’t feel like I want to try again.
I stop for a moment. What am I doing? Don’t I have some goals?
I finally remember I wanted to try creating a teleport portal and going to Prague. I go back inside, to the area between the two doors, to be alone and without distractions. I create a portal with my hands, as I planned it and imagined it. No visuals of the portal but that doesn’t mean anything. I spin around to give it something more. Then I try to go through the portal, thinking “Prague”. It doesn’t work. Again, I don’t feel like trying again.
I go back to the main room, which now isn’t a small room but a big hall. There is a stall with some cakes. I just take some with my hand, ignoring the seller. I make a mess out of her cake display but whatever. As I go towards the main entrance to the hall, I try to eat the cake but it doesn’t have much taste and there is too much buttercream.
I wake up.

Time 12:34
I slept more after this but I don’t remember any additional dreams.

1st time being lucid 2 times per night!

comment non-lucid semi/questioning lucid

Waking up at 10:00 (falling asleep around 5). Journaling 3 dream fragments.
Some problems with sleeping. 10:50 postman.

Hill and a subway
I am hiking to some hill and I take the subway on my way back. I am worried that I fail to get off at the correct station.

FA1
I am in some room, in a guest house, after coming back from the hike. It's the morning and I am putting on a long canvas dress, even though it looks weird and it is cold.

FA2
I am again in some kind of accommodation (possibly the same as in the previous dream) but the room is different. I really want to sleep but I am worried that it's too late and I don't know when the checkout time is. Then there is R and he is not worried at all. He offers me some breakfast cereals. I remember I've already eaten them and threw away the box (IRL). I am thinking that he probably hid/put aside some of them. I want him to find out when the checkout is.

FA3
I am again in the same room but this time, I am sleeping on a mattress on the ground, close to the bed from the previous dream. R is next to me, taking too much space and waking me up and I am mad because I want to sleep. Then I remember that we actually sleep somewhere else, so I should get enough sleep, even though I am not sleeping here.
Then the dream shifts to some time later and we are getting up. R is sitting on the mattress. I say "this is a FA" and do a nose-plug RC. I can breathe. But I am still confused and I can't see well. I ignore R (he doesn't exist anyway) and have the idea to find my glasses, maybe they help me with my vision. I go to the bed from FA2, trying to find them. I find it fascinating that I can be dreaming and moving at once. It's like I think I am sort of sleepwalking and the bed from FA2 is my real bed and my body is my real body. I find the glasses but I don't use them - I am thinking that this all is creating in my head so it would be pointless to try to wear the glasses.
I go to the window, thinking about jumping out and flying. But what if this is reality?
I go to the door and suddenly, my vision is much better and not blurry at all. I think I woke up (in my sleepwalking body). I do the nose-plug RC again and I can breathe, so I relax. I notice R is watching me and feel bad for ignoring him. I tell him that this is a FA and because he saw me doing the nose-plug RC, I try to show him finger-in-palm RC but it doesn't go through. I try it again, really believing it can go through, but nothing. I think I am really bad at this.
I finally remember my goal to pass through a wall. But there is no point in trying to go through a wall if I can't make my finger go through my palm.
I wake up. DEILD attempt failed.

Time: 12:40
I can't sleep. Some unstable minidreams.

MiniWILD
I can't sleep and I am feeling earthquake-like vibrations. It's annoying because I want to sleep but I am familiar with them and prepare for a separation attempt.
I stay at our garden door. I slowly sit down, remembering that I need to take things slowly and slowly try to separate. Then I realize I am not in my bed anymore, which means I am already separated.
The dream collapses.
Then there is another wave of vibrations. But nothing afterwards.
I can't sleep...

I wake up at 13:25, I want to get up. I take another cushion, put my glasses on, trying to find the will for journaling my dreams. But I feel too tired. I put the glasses away and close my eyes... ten more minutes... or maybe a WILD? Falling asleep feels easy.

PseudoWILD
I watch HI and daydream a little bit, interacting with the HI and dreamlets.
At one moment, I notice there is instrumental music in the background. I realize it is in my head and not outside, so I could use it to get into the dream. I focus on the music, trying to raise the volume.
Through small gaps in my eyes, I start to see a room. It works. But it fades a little bit and I feel my body in the bed (dream body, dream bed). I focus again and I can almost see through my eyes but also not really. I have the idea that my dream eyes are closed and I try to open them. It works. I close my eyes and open them again and my vision is very good.
I get up, slowly, worried about the stability of the dream, but it's fine and I walk a bit. I am in an unknown room, my dream bed is there and another bed/sofa. And R is here, I bump into him on my way to the door. He blocks my way out, I almost pass through him but not fully. I tell him "you are just a DC, you don't exist" (really meaning "you shouldn't be blocking my way"). He says nothing.
I take his hand, leading him to the sofa, sitting next to him. He now looks like my brother, J. I say "and that's why you look like J". I feel sorry for him but skip to the only idea I have how to use this dream. "Do you want to have sex?" I ask. He is silent. "Do you want to do something else?" He shakes his head and gives me and an empty look.

I wake up. The time is 1:51. Interestingly, I feel well and not tired anymore.

Notes:
- I struggle with fake insomnia. It can manifest as dreams about not being able to sleep (as above) or I can be in a conscious NREM sleep while thinking I am awake. Basically, my ability to tell the difference between conscious NREM and being awake is almost non-existent.
- I can't tell if the pseudoWILD was WILD or not. I obviously dreamed most of the "transition". What I perceived as my bed and my body was a dream bed and a dream body (most probably). I can't tell if the music was a HH (then it would count as a confused WILD, I guess) or if it was a part of the dream (so technically not a WILD). But if I lost my self-awareness, I was out for a minute or two, probably not much more. The whole thing took between 20 and 25 minutes.

Finally, some time to catch up with the DJ here.
No lucidity this time but I am including this because the dream - daydream confusion is somewhat important to me.

dream comment

O and a lake
A dream about my friend O and a frozen lake. Trying to cross the like and worrying about the thickness of the ice.

A&P
My friends, A and P, have a bunch of rings, some are their wedding bands, some are other rings, we talk about them. There is a stone, blue and gold, with a labradorite-like effect, very heavy. I like that.
In this dream, I think it is a daydream and not a dream. Later, I realize this was a dream.

Grandmother
I am with my grandmother, in her garden. There are some weeds. I am thinking about possible spaces for planting roses.
I think this is a daydream and not a dream.
Then we go inside and I log my previous dreams (O and a lake, A&P) in my DJ.
For some reason, I don't wear any top. Some girl wants to see what I am writing but I tell her it was personal. But I show it to her anyway.

Gravel road
I am lying on a gravel road, trying to sleep. I decide there is no point in trying to sleep. I decide to log my dreams.
Then I go down the road.
And again, I think this is a daydream!
There is a blanket and my husband and I sit next to him and think about my dreams. I remember I forgot my DJ up on the road but forgot it after a moment.
Right next to us, there is a house and a door and I get inside with some female DC. It is a house of someone rich and important but they don't live there anymore and artificial intelligence is caring for the house. The girl DC let them to serve us and care for us. We are there for days or weeks (it doesn't feel like that but it the knowledge behind the dream).
Then we are outside again and they catch us and someone is surprised by our behavior.
I slowly wake up from this, struggling to believe it was a dream, but remembering that I already logged my dreams twice!



And another one on 3rd April

I am trying to VILD. I imagine drawing numbers and colouring them. Then I daydream about being an apprentice of a master of drawing. But it doesn't last long.
I slip into a mi of short daydreams turning into dreams. I feel awake and aware of my surroundings but I don't realize that some daydreams fully turned into dreams.

Sex
I am in a room with some people/friends. I am wearing my nightie only. T touches my breasts under the nightie. I tell him that I don't mind him doing that but that I don't like not having control over it (basically, that I want it and he should continue but I don't like him not asking).
I snap my fingers and all other people in the room disappear, it's just two of us.
I love that. I think how cool it would be to have this skill in a real dream, but this doesn't count because it is only a daydream.
Then we start kissing... and other things.



Notes
I don't know why I struggle with this. Maybe because I like to daydream and my morning daydreams with closed eyes can be vivid and look the same as dreams - at least to my half-asleep brain.
About the differences:
Visualization - completely conscious, needs to be maintained with a lot of energy, needs to be micromanaged.
Daydream - telling myself a story, it can be with our without a narrative over, usually with good visuals. It's part me, part subconscious. Me steering the whole thing but micromanaging isn't needed. It stops if I stop.
Dream - 100% subconscious, running on its own.

I used to think that when anything happens in my daydream which I didn't put there (a new object, a new scenery) that it means that it is a dream. But in fact, it is not stable at that point. It needs more to become a dream.
When daydreaming during hypnagogia, a lot can happen. My dreaming mind is usually trying to distract me by changing the scenery and changing things in my dream. It is OK to let it rather than trying to keep the focus... but it is then hard to stay lucid. This often leads to semi-lucid dreams. With a good chance of regaining the lucidity later.

One more note: My FAs are never in my bedroom. It can be a hotel room, random room, or just trying to sleep anywhere, like on the road. Fragmented low-quality sleep causes this type of FAs for me.

OK, so I am going to do this, although I am not sure I have enough time to log my dreams twice - once in my DJ notebook and once here (and to translate them into English and make them readable). So I am going to keep this to LDs and the most interesting NLDs.

As someone with some LDs in past and as someone interested in dreams in general, I am often quite aware in my dreams/of my dreams but at the beginning, it was frustrating. It felt like being stuck in 0 layer lucidity and almost lucid dreams but not getting there.
Some interesting snippets from these dreams:

comment dream

12 Feb
At the airport, I see a big clock. I have the idea to check if they work. The clock arms point to 2 and 10. I think "People on Reddit were wrong, clocks work in dreams" and continue trying to catch my plane.

15 Feb
I don't like how the dream is going (someone's trying to kill me). I pause the dream and think "Really? Does it have to end like this? Can I do something to stop it? No, it's too late." I expect to wake up (I guess) but the dream resumes and shifts to a continuation in near future.

16 Feb
In a train, going down a very steep hill, extremely fast, like a rollercoaster. I am thinking: "We are too fast" but also "It will be fine". I know it doesn't matter.

17 Feb
I try to use magic against Severus Snape, it fails and I think: "Magic never works in dreams."

I am with my father in a boat and he misses a waterfall and we go over the edge. I am mad and I think: "We will 'die' and this will end. Or maybe not. Let's see." We are fine after the impact.
It's like I am almost never afraid of consequences in my dreams.

23 Feb
I 'know' this is a recurring dream. Or game. I did this before. I played this. I tell other DCs/players how it normally goes but this time it's different. A bomb explodes later because my friend makes a mistake and we 'lose' and are all dead.

25 Feb
I am hunted by some DCs and I use magic to defeat them. This time, I am more confident and I think: "Magic works in my dreams" and I create a force field and it works.
In my past, I would consider this dream as lucid... but I didn't really reflect in any way on the dream. I consider these dreams semi-lucid.

27 Feb - Trying FILD
FILD FA - my 1st FA - I tried FILD but wasn't able to find a good position for my hand so I gave up
I am lying in a corner of some town square, like a homeless. I think: "This corner is certainly dirty" but it doesn't smell. I have my blanket over me and I am trying to find a position for FILD. I can't find one, so I think: "It is a stupid technique" and go to sleep.
Later - FILD reality check
I am awake with closed eyes and I want to try FILD again. I feel like I was doing it for hours at that point and lost a lot of sleep to it. I decide to sit and do nose-plug reality check. I am sitting and my nose is weird, wet and slimy. I am shocked. But I also hear my husband breathe and I think: "This is not possible, I can't be asleep" and immediately, I am back lying, this time really awake.
I am mad and I think I got no sleep at all. Then I start remembering dreams from the last cycle - the FA and three other dreams.

In the next entry - finally a LD!

4th February 2021

Fragment:

I'm with JC, we're walking together through an alternate version of my town. I remember asking him about his family's cafe or something, I ask if it was located near his house (I visualise it a bit) and I'm generally asking him questions about things I'm sure we've talked about in waking life, when we knew each other.

Initially we had been at some kind of school or public building, leaving. We walk through the areas of town, which are much more open than usual, but the buildings seem proportionately expanded as well. We're headed somewhere specific, towards where my home is, but I forget the exact destination. I feel we're walking from the physically lowest part of town. It's day time but I think I remember a sunset at some point.

Fragment:

(Complicated dream, vague recall.)

Something about being in some starships and some kind of ancient device on a planet. A wild grain field of sorts, that's where the device is located. I and four others come to it, and it requires five people in total to activate. It forms a sort of pentagon if it were viewed from above. It's comprised of five adjoining capsules of sorts. We get in them and they are like lifts, taking us down. We are then inside some starship of an ancient design, resembling ancient Mayan stylistically. It's a rectangular stepped pyramid with powerful thrusters, effectively. I remember it breaks through the crust and the thrusters smoke a lot, seemingly struggling a bit too.

Fragment (FA):

I'm in bed with H or something. It looks like my parents' old room but with a layout more like our bedroom. There's a unit with a seven-segment display across the room, it says 20:16? Eight PM, either way. I tell H that we'd stayed in bed far too long. H seems surprised but doesn't do much to get up? We're both naked, I think.

I then remember being in our office room and thinking it's amazing that it was still day time at 20:16, more specifically at this time of year, but I do not question reality.

(Recall mixed here.)

On the computer, playing BL. Trying to find my way through some portals, with H, so we can get to KH. I end up on a dead-end player-owned location. It looks like a nice location, but I feel annoyed for wasting my time.

---

Notes:
- The false awakening was unusual. For one thing, I rarely have false awakenings at all. The dream presented some very obvious dream signs that I did not pick up on at all and I still managed to find myself in amazement.
- Recall was overall poor because of having to get up to answer the door somewhat abruptly and then I returned to bed wanting to get up soon, but didn't, falling asleep again.

I had 4 lucid dreams and one false awakening where I tried my best to wake up.

15th September 2020

Fragment:

Think I have no body, I'm following or the view is following a man going around a natural park or lake. He has an AA20 shotgun and he keeps firing it randomly, but mostly at the ground. I feel concerned about stray shots hitting someone. It seems there's nobody else around though.

By the end there's a gravelled car parking area. At some point after that, it's revealed the man was supposedly firing blanks (but they weren't).

Dream:

Part of a long dream. Something about a mall, but it's also a school? It's really busy and I am trying to get somewhere specific. I remember talking to someone but I go up several staircases and walk around an upper level, trying to avoid busy routes, but still encountering a lot of other pupils or something.

I get to an internal bus station of some sort? A transit hub, at any rate.

(recall gap)

Then I'm following a person around, in an office-like place. We're in a stairwell, we go down several levels, spirally, but the tiers and bends are all perfectly square and large, the steps themselves aren't too deep. I remember seeing doors every so often. There are engraved plaques, made of blue granite, engraved with counter-relief lettering that's got a golden finish.

We reach floor "-2", I notice this written on a plaque. I look out a big latticed window and see another building across the way, not far (a few feet), lit by sunlight. I think about how -2 must be code, or only locally relevant, since I knew and could see we were several stories up. The place has tall ceilings, I realise this more because of the large window. The stairs had a running carpet all the way along and it continued on into the hallways. The walls were covered in a medium-dark stained wooden panelling.

We go into a room here at this level. Very vague recall of the room. There's a desk? A book? The book is ancient. There is a magical aura to it, but this is almost unclear in the dream, I realise this only on waking up. The ancient book has tattered and yellowed pages with coloured-coded and symbol-coded separators. The books' nature means they are constantly shifting in appearance (almost like a "quantic" book of some sort?). I remember opening it and reading some part of it but no recall of how it looked, other than the fact that things shifted around.

Fragment:

False awakening in our bed. I find snot on my shoulder? Apparently it's H's. My recall of the room is very vague, but the darkness was warmer in tone than it should have been and there seemed to be an absence of any light sources.

Fragment:

Related, or in sequence to, the office dream. Big mansion place, outdoors. Large open gardens area, I remember some hedges but not much else. The mansion had an oblong rectangular shape; ovoid at the lateral ends?

First I'm visiting the mansion but then later in the dream I take ownership of it or something. Everything goes wonky after I own it, and I have to go around on foot in some mountain crag areas to find power sources and set traps.

Then at some point I move the entire mansion so that it sits level. I feel myself do this with my hands physically and remember seeing it from above, but no other senses suggested that I was of gigantic scale.

It's daytime out here and it's half bright but not, it's cloudy and overcast but there are godrays in the distance. There's a sort of moody feel, like a literal storm is approaching. The light and atmospherics look grey but golden and warm, in part because of the distant godrays. I see them near some mountains in the distance, past a vast body of water. The mansion was atop a cliffy area overlooking this body of water. A massive lake or small sea.

I remember several small fragments of being in the house. Interactions with dream characters but during my initial notes I don't really care to recall most of them. Some early ones about being interviewed and recruited as a doctor. There was someone else attending the same things as me, in alternate pace, it was an older snobby woman, also applying.

Scraps:

(in waking life) Went back to bed after answering the door. I had many dream scraps but almost all of them faded. I tried getting back to sleep and tried to focus on my intent to go back to the earlier dream, especially the bit about being hired as a doctor, as I thought this may help with becoming lucid. But my intent faded and I transitioned in and out of lesser states of awareness.

---

Notes:

- There's a great deal of internal and deeper themes here for me, especially around school, malls and office-type spaces. Some of these dreams felt like they were focused on consolidating my knowledge of certain features within buildings. In recent months I have felt that in drawings, my attention to detail in architecture is not well internalised and after recall these dreams I felt my associations of different features in buildings were expanded.
- Despite the crowds in the mall/school hybrid area, there was no covid pretext to any of my concerns about avoiding people. It was a mostly back-to-basics thing about not wanting to be in crowds.

- The view of the mountains and vast water was very picturesque; although I'm not sure of it being related in this case, on waking it did remind me of a picture we have on a wall of the bedroom, depicting an Italian lake.

- The ancient book was one of the most interesting features of these dreams. It's something I feel compelled to recreate in some artistic form now.
- Again its appearance may have been related to the fact that I have not internalised the details of books very well, which shows whenever I try to draw one from memory.

28th August 2020 DFLN

Fragment 8:30

Woke up unusually early (not needing to, at least) and from some kind of FA. I was in bed with H and I turned and there was a mantis/grasshopper thing on his pillow. I woke him up and alerted him to it.

Then I got up from bed as H was asking me to find his cheapo soldering iron to kill the bug with. It was skittering about and seemed smarter than an average bug. It was about the size of a ping-pong ball.

The bug then eventually appeared on top of the bed again and H tried to make it go away (by blowing at it?) and when he did, the soldering iron then just appeared (the red and white one) and he grabbed it and started whacking at the bug with it like a weird whip.

Semi-Lucid Fragment 9:30

In a strange (and even more) cluttered version of our home. I went downstairs to the kitchen, the tap was dripping (as it had been for a while) and I knocked my fist against it and a bunch of water splurted out.

I was then doing something but H was here and had to go, his dad was here to pick him up. I walk with them down some blue carpeted stairs? Awful railing/banister, far too high. There's some sunlight at some point, that I appreciate.

They leave and I come further down to close the front door, which is off its hinges. It's a big thick blue painted door made of actual wood, not exactly like our door actually is. Outside the doorway was a busy city street, like the capital of my native home.

Then as I'm faffing around with door, trying to get it back on its hinges, M (from MB) shows up. She's on a bike and so is her new boyfriend, which looks to be a bit of a nasty one, superficially.

She asks me how I'm doing and remarks I'm not looking so good. I notice that she's much thinner and she even mentions it herself. I congratulate her on her weight loss and give her a thumbs up as she cycles away, I think with a smile. Her mouth had been slavering like hell the whole time and her nose looked icky inside.

Then I'm slightly outside, still struggling with the door. But I realise I'm naked and think of going back in so the people in the street don't start staring at me. But then I say to myself "Hang on a minute, I'm naked, in a public street, with loads of people... But I'm dreaming." I become semi-lucid at this point and became increasingly aware of my real body, not managing to stay in the dream properly, especially as I started to become aroused for no reason, my real body just became too evident and so I just woke up

---

Notes:
- In the second dream, M's better outer appearance felt like a genuine message of self-improvement on her part, but now that I'm thinking about it, her icky nose/mouth context sort of suggests a rotten inside in some sense. In addition to that, she was together with a (seemingly) bad person, again.
- Oddly enough, I didn't remember the bit where she'd mentioned I wasn't looking so good but I don't remember feeling unwell in the dream.
- In the first fragment, I think I was naked, but there was nothing unusual about it since I'd just gotten out of bed in the FA; the bug would have been a good cue for a RC in that fragment.

Kept having repeating false awakenings and look at the window to see the sky looked very dark and yet slated grey as if a solar eclipse was happening. I look around and woke my self up. This time I found myself in my bed again and walked near the garage. It was half open with the other half missing. I told my father that we needed to fix this in order for no one to walk inside.

My father then said this was bad and that he will see if he can get someone to fix it. Then all of a sudden it was night and I found myself waking up from my bed again. I didn't know if I had dream of all of it or was I still dreaming right now. I got up and realize I was in a completely different place. I was amazed at how luxurious looking it was. My brother showed up and said yea its amazing isn't.

He told me it was my place and I was dumb founded. I couldn't stop exploring around it. That's when I realize I had to be dreaming. I enjoyed looking around in till I ended up losing lucidity and in to another false awakening.

Not too long after a nightmare I woke up in rl and was somewhat in a daze. I look around and felt funny. All of a sudden the dream kind of took me from waking life straight back in to a dream. I was in a car and was already lucid. I was confused because my eyes were open when I was awake . There was a young woman next to me and I couldn't understand what she was saying to me. However I recognize her as an online friend. I then woke up

LEGEND:
Black = non-lucid
Grey = awake
Blue = lucid

---

Lucid fragment
I reality check and get lucid, but either don't remember what came after it or the dream faded.

Great false awakening lucid!
Discouraged from my failed lucid that I just woke up from, I decide to do an especially aware reality check and then go to sleep with the mantra "When I see my hands I will remember I am dreaming and I will remember my body isn't real." The last part of the mantra is to make me more lucid and aware, so that I'm not just a zombie.

I then heard a noise my father made (maybe be dropped something) and got startled by it, and was disappointed. But I did a reality check, and, to my surprise, I breathed right through my plugged nose and was in a lucid dream. I immediately stood up and decided to leave my home. I tried looking away and back, imagining there'd be a door. I wanted to go to a specific place, but I ended up going into a mall. For some reason I suddenly had a VR headset on my head and my lucidity slipped a bit and things started getting unclear, both since that's something that happens if you don't have your VR headset on correctly and because the dream was fading, but as I took it off it caught itself. For a few seconds, I was somewhere else, but returned to the mall without really noticing. The place might have been full of brownish sand and sort of boxed in somehow.

Now, back in the mall, I run around and explore, excited, although not as aware as in the beginning anymore, but still better than any other lucid dream I've had. I see a small (100ml volume?) box of sodium iodide and think about trying to blow something up (that's hard with sodium iodide, but, again, I had lost awareness in the VR headset segment), but I ended up not trying, both because I didn't know if they'd have any chemical that'd work out with it (forgot that you could summon things since my awareness was shit) and because I didn't want to anymore. As I thought about it, I had actually tried to grab the box of it, but I only had the lid in my hands since it slipped off, and somebody was mad at me since I grabbed it (I had a small fear that someone would notice, but I didn't really care since I was sure I could just flee). And thus, I fled.

I then decided to try some shapeshifting again. I looked at my hands and saw that I had way too many fingers than normal (about 14 on my right hand), so I tried to touch things with the hand to see how having more fingers feels like, and it felt like normal, just slightly different. It's hard to describe. But I didn't want to continue to do something else that is more personal.

I went to a sort of computer terminal and input commands and hoped for them to appear in the dream, but it didn't quite work out. At some point I did a stabilization attempt by inspecting my hands, but still nearly woke up, but ended up back at a sort of bodyless distant view that was even less aware of the terminal, which now looked like a piano/organ, and apparently dracula was playing on it. It sort of was like a comedic variation of some sort of area in a video game. I then sort of had to click on the piano to go to the terminal again to continue typing, and it still didn't work, and then I woke up.

---

That awareness drop after the vr segment was annoying, but being that aware at all was progress, at least. I think I will add something to get more aware of dream control in my dreams.

Also, the first lucid fragment resulted from an extra aware reality check yesterday before I went to bed, since I was a bit disappointed that I couldn't reality check all that much because of school eating my time and stressing me.

I tried to write this dream down in a false awakening, but suddenly my equipment turned into items to dispense and serve sweet cherry wine for the movie's premiere. As a result, I feel like a good chunk of the movie's plot was lost in me trying to record it.

The film started with a live action component, that I vaguely recall starring Will Smih. I think he was trying to break into the disney vaults in the manner of a heist movie, but suddenly, he gets stopped my Deadpool (specifically the Ryan Reynolds one), and probably killed. Deadpool goes to talk to the audience, which ends up in a theatrical segment that took place in the movie theater, where a guy in a deadpool suit ran around the movie theater. He works the classic Marvel/DC rivalry by commenting on the flaws of the various DC Universe cast. Anothe theatrical segment, and the movie theater's side doors open up to reveal two podiums/pillars, one green, and one red. Deadpool then goes on to talk about "the greatest simp in animation history" and talks a little about who it might be. But he leaves the audience to guess, saying "I'll be making donuts in the car park, which kind? You'll never know. Hopefully it's gonna be christopher robin,"

The movie then shows a title card of two ambiguous faces with, "The Simps" as the main title. We then transition to a reading of a Winnie the Pooh story book that appears to be a crossover with other Disney properties and the themes from them, occasionally one would get commentary from Deadpool regarding the characters, as well.
The overall plot of the segment was that the disney Winnie the Pooh characters had crossed their paths with mickey mouse's friends, and they were traveling the continent, trying to keep people from obtaining this crystal. By this point, Christopher Robin had fully grown up,and was still reluctantly leading most of the stuffed animals in the quest. Occasionally, the story would transition verbatim to a narrated storybook format, and my general impression of the tone of the movie was that it was like a more adult version of an older disney film targeted at kids. The characters also seemed to know what was going to happen at certain points, as if this segment was a reanimated version of a pre-existing film that the characters somehow knew about. The steampunk-y aesthetic was similar to some of Disney's later attempts at animated movies. Unfortunately, a lot of the film's dialogue cannot be remembered upon waking up, so I guess it's an odd form of lost media.

After a while, a subplot emerged about a rival to Christopher Robin who acted like a stereoptyical Disney villain I think he also wanted the item that the main team had, and had evil doppelgangers of the rest of the main Winnie the Pooh cast, one line of dialogue from rabbit I remember was, "Why, I can't tell us apart!". Also at one point in the narrative, Eeyore kinda just showed up and didn't say anything, which was probably meant to be comical within the context of the film.

After the whole "Simp" segment, there was a dark-ride-style tour through the disney vaults, as different clips for the Disney animated films played out in 3D, as if they were being filmed.

Day 829:

Fell asleep at: 3:00 AM

Woke up at: 9:00 AM


Dream 119: Tooth-Conscious

I'm in my house, possibly a FA, and I go over to the restroom to look at myself in the mirror. I find that my two front teeth are horrendously mangled, crooked and with a wide gap in between. I begin to freak out, wondering how my teeth got this bad. Then I woke up for real.


Day 830:

Fell asleep at: 3:00 AM

Woke up at: 1:00 PM


Dream 120: Monster Hunting

I'm in a house, a moderately expensive one it looks like, almost certainly not my own. I'm sitting on the couch playing a Monster Hunter game with my family, which is odd, as MH doesn't support split-screen nor is it the kind of game my family would play.

My dad, who usually wouldn't play anything more complex than Mario Kart, is complaining how we've only been killing easy monsters. So, in retaliation, I select a mission involving hunting a Tetsucabra and Glavenus at once. It absolutely wipes the floor with the rest of my family, but at this point I'm too involved with my performance to really care.

As I'm soloing the Glavenus, I find something...off about it. Every now and then it will let loose a stream of blue Pikmin from its gaping maw, sapping my health away. I'm juggling between slashing it with my Great Sword and guzzling Mega Potions and getting nowhere real fast.

Then the dream ended.

I had just finish dreaming and knew I needed to wake up soon. I wasn't lucid and I thought that I had woken up, I could see my phone app screen appear in to my line of vision. Showing the stock market going down and that I was losing money despite the fact that it was all filled with green lines everywhere. I began trying to focus realizing i was in a dream and then I had a false awakening. I was again going through the same scenario and I became lucid, struggling to fully wake myself up as I knew I needed to return to waking life. Eventually I did finally woke up.

I was driving in this parking lot where this guy blocks me from reversing. It was the only way out as there was a building in front of me. So I look in my car view mirror and saw two guy's in hoodies with their hands in their pockets approaching my car. I immediately got out of my car and tell them what's the problem. I kept backing up and realize I am in a dream and was trying to change the dream scene by falling flat down to the ground.

However the scene would keep going back to the two men pointing guns at me. I laugh and told them you still have guns with you. I decided to try to wake myself up which resulted in a false awakening.