Recent DJ Posts

I had a new dream last night involving my mom, sister, and granddads old reliant which is by far the most disturbing one I have ever had. This dream was set in the time when granddad was living at the nursing home in the final months of his life.

When this dream started, me and mom were in granddads old reliant. Mom was driving and I was in the front passenger seat. We were on our way to pick my sister up from practice for a play she was going to be in.

Soon we were pulling up to the community theater where my sister's play was going to be and where she was having the practice. Mom pulled into a spot in the parking lot and then told me to sit tight as she turned off the reliant and then got out to go and get my sister.

After I had been waiting in the car by myself for a few minutes, my sister was walking up to the passenger side of the reliant and then opening the front passenger side door and then telling me to scoot over to the middle seat. I looked behind me and saw that the back seat was full of granddads stuff and there was nowhere to sit back there and then pulled my feet up on the passenger seat to give my sister room to get past me and sit in the middle but she reminded me it was her day to choose where to sit and she wanted the window and I needed to scoot. I reluctantly unfastened the tan shoulder belt and then scooted across the tan vinyl bench seat to the middle and then fastened the tan lap belt around my waist as my sister plopped onto the passenger seat and then closed her door and fastened her shoulder belt. We had to spend a little while waiting in the reliant together because mom was talking to some other parents out in the parking lot.

Eventually mom was walking towards the reliant and then sitting down in the driver seat to my right. She started up the car and we pulled out of the parking lot and were heading towards home.

Mom was then pulling into the parking lot of the nursing home where granddad was staying. She told us she needed to stop by and check on granddad as she pulled into a parking space and turned off the reliant and told us to sit tight and stay buckled. I told her I wanted to see granddad and she told me she needed to see how he was doing and that if he was feeling up to it she would come back and get us. She then closed us into the car and disappeared into the nursing home.

Not long after she went into the nursing home, she was walking out of it and back towards the reliant. I was hoping that grandad was doing well and then we could go and see him, but as she was fumbling through her purse for the keys and then unlocking the driver side door I noticed she was shaking and looked really upset. She sat down int the driver seat, closed her door, and then told us granddad had been taken to the emergency room and she needed to go to the hospital and check on him. She told us she needed us to be quiet and then started up the reliant and drove it to the hospital.

When we go to the hospital, she pulled into a parking space in the parking lot and told us to stay buckled-up and then cut off the reliant and got out and walked towards the emergency room entrance.

Me and my sister then had to wait in the reliant for what felt like an eternity pressed up against each other in the front seat which was really uncomfortable. I was really worried about granddad and what was going to happen to him. I really didn't want to talk about it, but my sister did and kept asking me things like if granddad was going to die which made me really upset. She kept wanting for us to talk about granddad and I kept trying to change the subject because I did not want to share my feelings with my sister. The longer we had to wait in the car. the more worried I was getting that something was seriously wrong with granddad and that maybe he would not make it out of the hospital.

Eventually I heard my sister say "mommy is coming" and then I saw mom slowly walking through the parking lot towards the reliant where we were waiting.

I woke up from the dream before mom got in the car and had no idea how granddad was doing or if he was dead or alive. It took me a while to fall back asleep after waking up from this dream.

D1: Non-lucid nightmare: I was being held down & raped by some man I didn't know. It was so intense I woke up.

I tried to go back in to get a lucid out of it to do the TOTM but no dice.

D2: Non-Lucid: I was with a big group of ppl & we were pillaging a house for random stuff. We were lost & just came across it. The family was the Duggar Family from the show 19 kids & counting, (Was weird cuz I quit watching that show some time ago) The father got really angry & was trying to make us leave.

D3: Non-Lucid: I was in a flying hospital. Yup, I flying hospital indeed, lol. I needed to get medical attention for something but never new why. I had 2 female friends w/ me. I was trying to find my husband (not any husband I've had in this lifetime) I didn't look like me. Both mine & his appearance kept changing. It was really weird. And our genders kept changing too! Finally I found him & we closed the curtain on an open ER Room w/ the curtain but it wouldn't close all the way around. A couple of my friends, both women whom I seemed to be really good friends w/ were saying "GO for it!" And watched us have sex, lol.

About an hour before I went to bed my husband & I had an intense conversation about how we met & a revelation I had during the day. We both feel that some other force kept pulling us together no matter what we did. He pursued me for 3 yrs before I gave in. It was an intense 3 yrs. We also both married other ppl briefly but it just wasn't right. He would always turn up behind me at work & freak me out, lol. But I would anticipate him & he would make my heart about jump out of my chest each time w/ attraction. I was always afraid he was a coke/meth addict because he is tall & slim & has a lot of energy. I was afraid because I used to be an IV drug user in my twenties & I don't want anything or anyone like that around me. But then it turned out I should've just asked him earlier & believed him. Everyone we know was like "It's about time!" in the end. We still till this day call him my stalker, lol. But ironically we both believe we were supposed to marry to the ppl in between all of this, because they both died during the year following our marriage (also 3 yrs later, I made him wait again, lol). But before they died they both changed in some ways. My ex was always very bitter & angry. He was dying from liver & kidney failure & turned to God in his final months & Mike's ex was never bitter towards me & actually liked seeing us happy together, she died in a fire... Ironically my marriage to this man ended because of his health. I told him he was going to die & had to change his eating habits & I refused to sit back & drag my kids down this road of slowly watching him kill himself in such a way. I new w/o a doubt he would die. He then went back to live w/ his mother & sister whom he had lived w/ many yrs before he was w/ me so he was never alone... Anyway I think that's where my dreams from tonight came from. Except the first one. I think that was because Meesha Cat was mauling my head to get up & feed her & it triggered that rape dream cuz he kept grabbing my hair. Of course I'm sure some of what we talked about that I didn't mention here was helpful w/ that dream. We had a pretty in-depth conversation./COLOR]

Sleep Time: 2:20 a.m - 10:00 a.m

I am in the emergency room because something is wrong with my foot. The doctors want to do some bloodwork but I refuse because I remember I had been there earlier and they had already done some bloodwork.

I am working half of Holly's shift at the hospital. I plan doing it again but am afraid there will be patients and I wouldn't know what to do.

I am walking down the street in front of Kidwell Elementary. All the teachers are lined up along the street and none of them will acknowledge me.

I was at the ER and I just walked through the front doors. There was a crowd of soldiers looking at a big white board, and I believe they had some trivia game going on. The first thing I said was "the ER will take on all of the other clinics". JL came up and greeted me, and made some comments about the weight I put on. I was looking around seeing all the other people, and making conversation at the same time. Next thing you know, someone said we had a bird coming in. I was so hyped up because I knew it was going to be a true medical emergency coming through those doors any second.

I started running the whole scenario thought my head, bp pulse ox, and then IV, blood draw then start it. On the outside I remained nearly expressionless and calm like I used to do in those situations. The sliding double doors were already locked open, and we just needed to wait for him. I started checking for my BP cuff and woke up =\

I also had and another one where I was traveling the road with this beautiful mountainous scenery.