Recent DJ Posts

Failed dream stabilization in DILD
I am on my way home, carrying groceries on the sidewalk of the quiet street passing by the house I live in on a cloudy day with a darker lighting of the environment suggesting that the time of day is soon to be or already is dusk. I'm not sure if my mother is with me, but she could be. Suddenly, I become lucid. It might have been a random thought about lucidity which triggered this. But I immediately start slipping out of the dream but try to rub my hands and to look at them to stabilize the dream, but I am already on the threshold of waking up, strangely controlling both my dream and real body at once, but apparently my stabilization attempt soon failed and I find myself having waken up.

---

I got too stressed to journal again. I'll probably continue for real once summer holidays come around in nearly exactly a month.

I actually chanted a mantra and used a special thought technique I can't really explain to kind of bypass the way you'd usually have this only incubate a fake lucid dream instead of actually causing awareness, and I guess it worked. It's like I went "behind" the normal thought? Only I really know what I'm talking about with that, I guess, at least I hope at least I will if I rediscover this some time. Nobody ever understood the way I explained how my brain worked. People tend to think these are metaphors, but I feel like I physically navigate my thoughts. While that's not what happens, of course, that's the input I'm getting and doing the same "movement" produces consistent results. It's weird like that. Also, I'm tired so I'm rambling about this, probably mostly as a big note to self so that I can reproduce this, since this is the first time a technique just straight up worked first try to that extent.

I do wonder why the stabilization didn't work, though. And I tend to always find myself kind of "blind" in dreams, I've noticed that here as well. It's like my whole vision is covered by a blind spot, like how your thumb disappears if you move it into the right location, it makes it hard to stay in a dream. I feel like I only know some of the visual information because I just kind of know without seeing it, and that's annoying me. But I can't say reality is a whole lot different, honestly. My perception is always weirdly "blind" like that, like a very insidious form of tunnel vision. Enough rambling now. I still think this was probably the closest I've ever gotten to stabilize a lucid dream, so overall, this was a success. Good.

Nice character died
There was an adventure beforehand. While I and a group of other people were fleeing from monsters that shoot some form of projectile, he was hit and immediately killed. I sort of got sad as if he was a character from a movie that died, thinking that it's sad that they didn't continue on with his story. The character might not have been human.

Disastrous tree portal
There was something about entering a portal through a tree. It's sort of like a certain tree, where you do a certain thing with the bark and it opens, letting you go in and freefall into a different world of some sort.

It appears it is like a trap, as I end up in a weird abandoned building, with strange lighting. It's like it's always dusk outside, the yellow light leading up the ghostly and dark hallways. It feels like the home of somebody who has died. All lights are off, and it seems like somebody just abruptly left. Everything seems like a still-life painting, with things laying around as if they were just about to be used. It's totally silent. I walk through the corridor, which is located on the second floor and on the east side of the building and is pretty narrow. On the right side are the aforementioned windows, and to the left are several doors. Suddenly, some sort of woman appears.

Cut to some sort of video clip, showing several catastrophes, such as a rollercoaster accident. In the end, it always zooms into the face of the first person who dies, just a second before it happens, showing their scared, screaming faces.

At some point, I am in a sort of white void, with a single patch of forest as a representation of the tree portal and the area around it. There is some sort of large person about it, about 4 meters in height. He is male, and I seem to trust and know him. He gives me advice on how to get back into the normal world.

Cut back to the corridor. There is a woman there, I know she is a demon, presumably from the advice I got. I hide in a cupboard of sorts, or maybe behind a door that was set down in the corridor, but she finds me. Quickly, I think about the weak points of the human body, but I don't remember. Then, shortly after, I see a knife right of me on a window sill. I quickly grab it and ram it into the heart of the woman, but she just laughs, so I ram it into her stomach and then, finally, I slit her throat and then I ram it in her throat. Then, she is dead.

I was across the street from my apartment at a bike shop, was going in and out of the store.

Woke up extremely tired, laid flat on my back and could feel myself going back into a dream state. My body got very stiff and it felt like I was high all over my body, the lower left part of my back started to cramp up a little bit. My body was floating upwards, it was very difficult to breath but I was breathing out of my mouth. I kept thinking I was going to be dreaming and I flew into a dream. The dream scene was over a lake with trees lining both sides and a city in the distance, the main colors were purple and orange, it felt like it was dusk. Everything was very vivid as I was flying over the lake but my vision started spinning, it would spin quickly to one side and then shift directions to the next. I tried to get a hold of the dream by clasping my hands together and rubbing them but the dream collapsed. It reopened into a zany cartoon view, the colors were mainly bright yellow and red, there was a cartoon character walking exaggerated across my view.

I'm in my cousins house I suppose it is, it's unfamiliar in real life but their mom is in downstairs doing something and I'm upstairs waiting in their combined room fro them to come from school. I begin realize things, I combine one thing with one things and create some sort of herbal thing that effects the mind. The more things I make the more I seem to become ancient primitive like. And for some reason I can't stop, I feel compelled. Then my cousin come home and I try to convince them to make some things, one of my cousin doesn't care and sits down and gets on the pc, but the other cousin takes mine instead of makes his own, i didn't mind because I can feel that he can\t comprehend how to make it but he wants the effect. Well he takes it but he doesn't eat it, so meanwhile I\m still changing and now I'm like crawl walking like Tarzan and I decide I need to go and live in the wild and to have more access to the ingredients I need to make more of these things. Suddenly it's dusk and I'm in this square room cave and the ceiling is low and is entirely icicle like stone downwards. At first I have no fear, it's like a maze of stone walls and there's things painted on the floors ans the outer inside walls from the ancients who created this presumably 10 of thousands of years ago. On the floor paintings that warn of snakes in here. On the walls painting that warn of some sort of snake/bore animal and a human is running from it and one has a spear, and then some regular painting of people in Egyptian style art. I'm just walking around thinking about where I'll get my next ingredient and where in here I will sleep when the sun goes all the way down and then suddenly the sun goes down and it's dark and moonlight is shining in and I become scared shitless, and the paintings on the floor of snakes begin to look like real snake bodies all shiny in the moonlight and then I realize there's probably spiders and snakes in between these low hanging stone points that are just above my head so I begin to panic and run out of the cave, and now I'm naked, I'm naked crawling like and jumping and running like an ape and in complete fear and I don't feel like I can survive and I begin to think that it was stupid to go in solitude and that it would be simple if I had a tribe, there would be someone who jobs was to kill the spiders and snakes, surely someone wasn't afraid of spiders and snakes, and I would be the one to get out ingredients and someone could collect food. But I also new that I had no idea of how to get a tribe to live ion this cave with me.

Dream
False Awakening

I was in Florida during the day time on a Saturday. I was supposed to requalify with my rifle and pistol but I got teleported to Venezuela with my grandma. She made me some weird soup and I ate it while driving. As I drove, I ran over a pretty Asian woman and backed up to tell her sorry but she ran into her house. I eventually arrived at a school/apartment complex as the sky turned to dusk. Christa met up with me and we started having sex. People from Christa's work showed up and it started to rain so we both ran to deliver a money bag to the school library. I suddenly remembered that I had left my car door open so I ran back to my car in the slippery pavement.
I got to my car while some guy was breaking into it so I grabbed the guy and started punching him in the nose, eventually slamming him to the ground. A fat security guard said "Just let them kill each other" and some guy started making a joke and I told him about how Valery put hot sauce on my pizza a long time ago. I eventually got off the guy I was beating and cops showed up and started throwing CS. I ran back to my car where I took off my shirt and hid it as the cops arrested people that were known trouble makers. I woke up into a counter strike game and stated typing my dream.

Dream - Lucid

The only thing I remember about this one is that I was in a dark bedroom at night, and I wanted to leave to go to a different apartment. Something about Cherie' and Jeremiah being there as well, or they were on their way. I thought about Cherie', Dallas, Jeremiah and I all sharing the same bed. Something about me trying to get Dallas to leave with me. He was in the living room.

~

I was going to a dealership to purchase a car. I thought about how my husband had just done the same. I got out of my car and went inside. The showroom had a few cars on display in it. I saw the one that I was going to purchase. It was the exact car that Dallas got, but instead of a dark metallic grey/silver, it was slightly darker in hue. There were many salesmen in there. Mine finally found me. He was an older man with greying hair and a grey beard. He greeted me and we went into his office. I sat down at his desk across from him. He had the results of my credit check. He said they were bad. He handed me the paper, and on the right side there were some numbers, the last one being the amount I had to pay each month. I only had to make payments of $37 and some odd cents every month. Wow! My credit must not be that bad. I told the dealer that my husband had to make payments over $300 every month. My credit must not be that bad for such a seemingly low APR. I thought that maybe it was because Dallas had an accident that was his fault, and it upped his APR.

I then realized I needed to transfer all my things into the new car and someone would have to drive the old one home. I got out my cellphone to call Dallas, but I then realized that I didn't have anyone's number anymore. I guess I got a new phone with the car. I went to my new car in the parking lot. It was dusk. I sat down in the driver's seat. I saw how the dash looked exactly the same as Dallas's car. I knew it would drive the same as well. I thought about this, thinking maybe I should have gotten something different to mix it up a bit.

I was then at the house I grew up in, sitting on the couch in the living room. Courtney S. was sitting next to me. She had what looked like this HUGE spider. I freaked out; I hate spiders, but she told me it was some kind of cat spider? I then looked at it again, and it looked like a Siamese cat/tarantula hybrid. I started to pet it somewhat cautiously, but she seemed to like it. I asked Courtney S. if it was poisonous, and she said yes. I was careful to pet it the right way so it would be happy and not bite my hand. It went to the other side of the couch, hidden from view, and then came back and just looked like a white piece of paper with fold lines on it. It then moved, and was the spider cat again.

There was also another spider cat, though I can't remember the breed. I was petting it also, now on the floor of the living room. At some point after that, Courtney S.'s cat spider bit me on two of my fingers. I told Courtney S., and asked if there was anything I needed to do. She said no, my fingers would just get kind of swollen. I imagined this happening.

I was with this unimportant person at this nice looking old house. It was surrounded by a bunch of dark green trees and an aging path led from the house to the road. It was night and normally I am pretty nervous to be outside during this time. However, there was a sort of comfort about the cool night air and the darkness seemed welcoming, rather than encompassing and frightening.
The unimportant person, I suppose we'll call her Wendy, needed to go somewhere. I had nothing better to do, so I followed her. I honestly don't think the girl noticed I was there. She and I walked over to her really old car and she got in. It was one of those snug black cars from the fifties. I thought about getting in, but I decided to just hitch a ride on the car's roof.
My reasoning?
"She won't be going fast down this road."
As I'm looking at the moon and all the pretty trees, I smile and think,"This is wonderful. It's like a dream..."
Then, I realize that it is a dream. I'm quite pleased and don't let myself get excited, for fear that I'll wake up. I remember reading dream stabilization tips on this website and others, and try to use them. However...
"Clarity now!"
Same blurriness.
I pause for a moment, then say it again. Same thing happens.
"I said CLARITY NOW."
My sharp and commanding voice did little if nothing to help.
However...
"...HD Vision now!"
Poof! Everything was nice and clear. I suppose I could have gotten off the car, but I was enjoying myself. So, I issued a few commands.
"I'd like her to turn down this road, left, up a ways."
The car went the way I wanted.
"This scenery is really nice, but I want it to be dusk instead."
Then, it was dusk. I stopped after that because I didn't care.
The End

My boyfriend Sean and I were on the shore of some beach, searching for seashells. We had already collected many, but were sent back to look for more because the previous ones were either not enough or not the right ones. My most prominent memory of this dream is a close-up of Sean, bent down serenely on the shore to pick up a shell as the waves lapped onto his legs. He was still wearing his sneakers and his pant-legs weren't even rolled up. But he looked so calm, like an angel, as his dark skin gleamed in the low sunlight. My dream self was somewhere behind him, minding her own business and searching for shells...

March 16, 2011
Lucid Dream 199: World in Ruins
Series: Mind of a Gamer, Episode 2
around 12:30pm
DILD

Category - Action/Exploration


Me and a two others (a male pilot and a female) were in a small plane, flying over a deserted/destroyed city. The plane was almost the exact same one from Resident Evil: Code Veronica. We were looking through the windows down to the streets and could see massive amounts of zombies littering the streets. Suddenly, an alarm went off within the plane. The pilot yelled at me and the girl to go check out the back of the plane. I already knew what was waiting for us back there, so I told the girl to stay with the pilot. I open the door and walked into the large storage area. The back of the plane was open and I saw a shadowy figure in the corner. It stepped out and as I suspected, it was the Tyrant.

It sprinted toward me and I dove out of the way. Tyrant was slashing the corner of the plane to pieces with the giant claw on his arm. I began looking for the switch that ejects equipment from the room, but noticed that the Tyrant had been hacking it to pieces the whole time. I thought, "That isn't supposed to happen. How am I going to knock this big bastard out of the plane now?" I continued to dodge his attacks, but he got closer and closer until he sliced a huge tear in my arm. I looked at it and could see the bone in my arm. There was a gash in the bone as well. I started to look around the room in a semi-panic, trying to find something I could use. I heard the pilot calling "mayday" from the front of the plane. He then said, he was going to try and crash land on top of a building. I decided there was only one way to deal with the Tyrant.

I position myself right in front of the opening to the back of the plane. The tyrant lunged at me with his giant claw. I jump-turned, so the claw missed, but his shoulder connected with me and we both fell out of the plane. When I jumped, I had brought my knees to my chest and placed my feet against the tyrants shoulder. I grabbed hold around his head with my hands and held on tight as we fell from the plane. I saw the edge of the building that the pilot was crash landing on, so I released my grip and kicked off the Tyrant as hard as I could. I stretched out and managed to grab the edge of the building. I watched the Tyrant fall hundreds of feet to a splattering death as I hung on the side of the building. My plan had worked perfectly.

I pulled myself to the top of the building and saw the plane bounce off the roof and then back into the air. It circled around and I noticed that the bastards were leaving me. I turned around to observe my surroundings and saw a skylight. I looked down through the skylight and saw hundreds of zombies rushing up the stairs that lead to the roof. I returned to my "hanging on the side of the building" position and pulled myself up to watch what happened. The zombies busted through the door and began searching the rooftop. I noticed a couple of them were taller and were holding huge machetes. I turned and looked behind me. It was a long way down and the city was destroyed. There were fires scattered throughout and smoke pouring out of several locations. It was dusk and the sun was starting to descend below the horizon. I noticed a harbor nearby and thought, "I could just fly over to the harbor wait it out on the water." I was borderline lucid for a while, but this is when I fully became aware.

I kicked off the wall and began flying around the city. I noticed there was a large ship in the harbor and I knew it was Arcadia (the ship from the newest RE movie). I pondered exploring it, but decided to swoop through the city again before exploring the ship. I turned around and headed back for the city. This time, I flew much lower through the city. I felt up and down my legs for my gun holder and pulled out a pistol. I decided I would perform some fly-by shootings on the zombies below. I pulled the trigger of the gun and found out it was a fully automatic pistol. I thought to myself, "It must be a 'metal storm' pistol." After thinking this, the pistol started firing at an unbelievable rate. I began obliterating the zombies below. Their bodies were being torn to shreds by the "god-like" fire rate of the pistol. As I flew threw the city killing hundreds of zombies, I was amazed at how stable the dream was while all of this was going on.

I flew back to the harbor which was now much smaller than before (looked like a large pond), Arcadia had now turned into a small jungle boat with a straw roof. I figured I would fly down and check it out. As I landed the dream became unstable and I managed to save it with a few stabilization RCs. I walked through the doorway and saw the boat was unoccupied. There was a mini-store inside complete with a beer cooler and everything. The dream became unstable again and I felt it slipping away. I immediately prepared to DEILD...

Series Details
With the dream series, "Mind of a Gamer," the gaming world and the dreaming world collide to produce a lucid paradise. Read as I take video game scenarios to the next level. Stay tuned for more entries to the series!