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non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

With Riverstone at some tropical paradise in Southeast Asia. We feel an eartquake, I look at the ocean behind us and say maybe we better assume the possibility of a tsunami. We run to the hotel, which is a 50 storey high building. But it is by the sea, so I don't know if it will hold up, but there is no time to go anywhere else this high. It has an elevator, with entrances outside the building, from a balcony facing the ocean and it is a scenic elevator with glass walls. A giant wave is already coming in the distance. Riverstone is freaking out, so I tell him to stay calm and I push him inside the elevator when the door opens. I press the button for the last floor and I hope the elevator is fast enough. It is very big. It has 3 doors frim the side we came in (instead of 3 elevators side by side, there is one giant elevator with 3 doors that take in people all at once) and it has 3 other doors on the opposite side (from inside the building).
The wave was faster than we expected and it hits the building when we're half way, enveloping us in water like a reverse aquarium. The elevator keeps going up, but on the 18th floor we start seeing water coming in through the door gaps and it continues for the next floors. We are afraid that the water will shut down everything and we get stuck in a flooding elevator, but it keeps going and then we enter an area with cement walls and the water stops flowing in. The elevator stops and I can't tell if we reached the top floor or we just got stuck. I think that at least it is a very spacious elevator, not very claustrophobic and we don't seem at risk of drowning.
But then one door opens and there is a large hallway with stairs going down to what looks like a waiting room. A couple people welcome us and asks for our names and says we have to wait to be called and then they'll test us for intelectual and physical abilities, as they only want to keep people who can contribute. We have no clue what is going on, but apparently this is some kind of rescue operation for a few lucky people who know about it. Other people sitting down tell us that the space is limited, so only the useful ones are taken in, everyone else is kicked out again. I ask what happens to those who don't pass one of the tests but they don't know or dont say. Then my name is called and I have to cut through a bunch of people in a corridor to reach a lady repeating my name. But she only called my first name and I wonder if it's really me she wants. Then she says the last name and it isn't me. But she couldn't care less. She takes me to a warehouse where I see boxes and packages and she asks if I could carry those. First she hands me what appears liquid detergent bottles, but quite large and heavy. I manage. Then she shows me a cardboard box full of something and I also lift it without big issues. I explain that I am strong but I have fibromyalgia and therefore won't be able to do continuous efforts for too long and maybe I'd be more useful in an intelecrual role. She scoffs it off and says they need me here now and I have to accept, or else they might cut me off. So I accept.
I then go around the warehouse trying to get familiar with the place and I spot a weird dangerous looking animal which looks like a cross between a spider and a scorpio. She is big, like 20 cms and has a squid like head, the torso o,f a spider and a long abdomen with two long appendices extending in the back. The spider thing locks in on me raises up one of those appendices, which looks like a tube with an opening on the tip. Then she shoots a dart from it, poisonous I am sure. I manage to escape it and to protect others around from also being hit. The spider then hides and when it comes back from another place, she has both appendices raised and shooting darts left and right. I use some plastic to protecf myself and someone else. Then wonder how this bug is allowed to plague these facilities and I think I will work on a plan to kill it or else I won't be able to focus on my job.

Morning of January 22, 2015. Thursday.



Of all the “experiments” I have done in my life to influence, enhance, or alter dream states, I have ultimately decided that simple thinking is the key. I have tried a particular focused form of thought enough to know it is the most powerful technique, especially when preceded by “thank you for…” (without even needing belief in a deity). Just listening to something does not seem to do much unless it is with my own special technique and even that has certain limitations in certain states. Needing to hear something seems to limit certain states (plus, I have experienced a vivid lucid state where external sound and its influence is non-existent), likely because a part of the mind is still “grounded” in a particular way. (Once again, I should mention the lucid dreaming fiasco of years ago where I entered the most vivid dream state possible with a shorter audio loop, though once in my dream, solely tried to find the source of the sound to turn it off - the very meaning of “irony”). So what do I do that works? Three-minute very subtle mental affirmation meditations (not spoken aloud, just actively thought) throughout the day and night (sometimes in closer clusters), watching the clock and using an addend of four but only ever counting them as three minutes in my personal journal. In this case, it added up to sixty minutes overall.

In my dream (and the ones which followed) I find myself in a full-body awareness that is no different from being awake other than the senses being enhanced and the depth perception intensified. This used to puzzle me - but I attribute it to being “closer” to one’s internal awareness in sleep. I have never had the slightest concern (as some people claim as possibility) about differentiating from the real world and a dream when awake - and in a vivid lucid dream, that concern is pointless anyway, so yet again, typical mainstream dream literature fails to impress me or even make any sense.

I find myself in a dream environment in a larger room that I cannot identify, though it is similar in familiarity to (but much larger than) the larger southernmost room in the Loomis Street house. I am sitting comfortably on an armchair facing east. As with another recent dream, the increased sensuality, almost to a point where I would otherwise think it impossible, seems the most “automatic” and natural of all dream states, almost as if all nuances of my dream are “instantly surrendering” to a core subliminal whim. In fact, all I do is lift my arms up a bit and my beautiful wife materializes in front of me (only her head at first) and she bends down to indulge in passionate kissing with me for quite some time. The sense of touch is probably double that of reality and I am also amazed by the solid nature of her form.

This is followed by making love on the floor, from the side and from behind, but holding ourselves up with our left arms, in some sort of otherwise physically impossible situation (well, at least for me). During the climax, I notice (as I have in several other dreams) that my wife has sparse reptilian scales around her hips and bordering the small of her back, which does not bother me. However, I soon take this into a forced scenario out of habit, relating to what I feel happens often in non-lucid dreams; that is, the dreamer forcing certain possible conflicts possibly regarding a need for increased “pulsing” energy as such for whatever reason (again, for example, maintaining the knowledge but vague memory that I was solely the one that instigated my own chase dreams even with dinosaurs following me, just to experience the event, although most people do not seem to remember the event horizon of when they planned this themselves, so thus you have people that believe in demons or similar entities - the case seemingly being that a particular section of memory was lost).

My dream is not “fooled” though and I am too vividly integrated with my dream’s environment to be absentmindedly a “victim”. When I try to force a negative association for a dramatic movie-like scene, I illogically in the past tense speak to my wife, saying, “You had scales!” but she just cheerfully lightly laughs and shakes her head and levitates a bit from the floor, “rolling about” in midair and lowering herself again. I ask her “Why did you have scales?” and then I feel idiotic since it was me that gave her the scales in the first place. I try to get her to appear more aggressive, but that fails and she becomes about ten years younger and we make love again, “rolling around” in midair, at times like mists with various tendrils but I also become aware of where I am in reality.

An odd false awakening occurs. I am in the computer room in Wavell Heights though the setup and room layout is different. My dream is almost as vivid as my previous but I am no longer lucid. There is a closed window near where the printer is. The printer seems more like an oversized typewriter. There are also what seem to be kitchen features in the room, including a faucet over the top of the printer (seemingly on the window sill as was strangely the case in our Clayfield apartment’s kitchen). I absentmindedly turn the faucet on (it is more to the right), realize that the printer is then filling up with water (almost in the manner of a sink) and then turn it off. The physical sensations of doing this are greatly enhanced and I briefly contemplate that real life is not this “close” in the sense of touch but do not become lucid again. Once again I catch myself having turned the faucet on in the semi-dark room. I again turn it off just as the water starts spilling over the top of the printer a bit. It then sits there still full, like a full sink, and I am contemplating when it could be used again. I then finally notice that the printer is plugged in, so I remove the cord from the printer itself, which is higher up on the front instead of the back area (this is likely because the back of my desk in reality is open to the path into the room as if it was the “front”). I then go to tell my wife about the event, planning on asking her to help with getting the water out of the printer by using cups, though this does not seem feasible. I do not think turning it upside-down would be a good idea, though.

There is another false awakening, this one more intense, but ending up as some sort of parody of people who preach about the end of the world. Having heard about the supposed approaching “end of the world” in virtually endless scenarios since I was very young, any emotional impact or credibility has dissolved. I am watching a set of four smaller televisions in a column in an extended part of a doorway. Each television has the same show but with slightly different timing (this is based on a real-life event of years ago, where I was changing channels and noticed the same religious show on two different channels but one about a minute ahead of the other and I played around, sometimes getting unintentionally funny phrases with each switch over).

There is a chubby preacher ranting before a live audience, loudly asking “What if the world ends tomorrow?” and he keeps repeating this for a short time with a terrified look on his face. I notice red flashing lights and other people crying out including a few from the choir on the stage. It almost seems possible that the world could end tomorrow but I do not feel afraid. However, he then shouts “What if the world ends the day after tomorrow?” with an even more terrified visage. This does not seem to make much sense as that would be one day later and less to worry about for a short time. However, he keeps going on like this, with his emotional anticipation illogically inverted, going into more and more preposterous and loud unrestrained queries such as “What if the world ends the day after the day after the day after three weeks from tomorrow?” seeming more and more alarmed each time, the longer the potential “doomsday” is from then - completely senseless. The audience keeps gasping and crying out to everything he says. I stand there in disbelief until my dream fades with a strong and clear attitude that it does not even matter if and when the world ends - why keep theorizing as such? This last false awakening seems vaguely influenced by the last scenes from “The Blob” (1988 version) - seen the evening before - where the traumatized preacher is shown as having the power to “end the world” from a piece of the life-form he has in a container.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

I am on top of a mountain when I witness an amazing out-of-this-world happening. First some kind of ball of light appears in the sky, surrounded by a kind of dark vortex around it. It starts growing and causing some disturbances on the ground. Then some other type of energy in the shape of stormy clouds seem to appear to counteract its effect. Then a giant alien being appears in the sky and the energy ball grows even stronger and starts sucking some things towards it and disintegrates them. I can clearly feel reality fading away as it enters that light. I'm right at the edge of its pull and I feel it touching me deep inside and showing me the “reality” after everything I know disappears. It is the end, nothing will remain. I feel an emptiness and a sadness beyond words. I am a river of tears in the shape of a soul. But the counteracting force seems to be gaining hold and preventing it from moving as fast as it would. I don't know what this means. I still feel it's the end of everything today, but now I feel the urge to warn people. So I descend from the top of the mountain and I spread the news high and low that the world is coming to an end. The people closer to me do not believe me, even seeing the giant luminous ball in the sky growing by the minute. How can they deny it? I don't get it! But many others believe the same thing I do and the news is spreading fast. I then encounter people abandoning shopping, all of a sudden realizing that they don't need any of that since they will stop existing soon and then realizing that it was true anyway at any other moment of their existence. We were always going to die, we just didn't know when. I feel what they feel, they too are a river of tears.
I feel the urge to find my friend Zilla. I don't know where she is and instead I go to her parents. Her father opens the door. He invites me in. He already knows what's coming. He says I won't have time to see Zilla, as she is far away, but that he has a gift she wanted to give me. I see it right away: she had bought two awesome white samurai swords, identical, one for each of us. They are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I don't even dare to touch them. I tell him to let them stay together as they are now on a shelf. I will never touch them, there's no point. I am happy just to have seen them.

I was sent away to live in this weird city under a dome ruled over by a strange bald man. He only appeared to the people on Saturdays. The other days, other people were in charge of administering justice. They were referred to as "Pharisees".

I had three friends, all girls. We had been brought forcibly to the city together. One girl was young, one was just slightly younger than me and the other was just my age.

The laws in the city were terribly hard to keep, and if you broke any of them, horrible punishments were enacted on you. I got into trouble, but I sought an audience with the bald ruler.

I told him that it had been revealed to me that soon everything outside the domed city would be destroyed, but everything within would be saved. Therefore, I asked permission of him to go out into the surrounding desert and gather cactus plants, which we could replant after everything was destroyed. He allowed me to.

During our entire meeting, my nose ran incessantly. I couldn't stop it.

Don't even remember how I got lucid, but it's night time outside, and I'm flying looking for Kaomea. The area seems endless, so i decided to land and teleport. I started sinking into the ground, and these dogs came up and tried to bite me.

Either I'm playing a game, or just in some super weird world. Everyone is dying...people are getting killed left and right, and it's actually supposed to happen. I remember growing in size to fight some humanoid type monster, but lucidity didn't last long at all. I think the objective was to find all things...like rings or something, and the world would get restored. It happened before, but we never knew it.

Now I'm playing some game...it's pretty crazy. It's an over head beat-em-up, and it has like at least 100 characters to choose from. I'm playing it with my niece, brother, nephew, and some other people were watching. There was a weird sex scene in it....so I told the kids they'd have to get out. Then my sister tells me I have to go fill up the van for her (she doesn't own one) and pick someone up. On top of that, the van takes 110 octane. I'm really mad at her, and I'm trying to reason with her.

Alright, today I'd a dream! Also yesterday evening I was ordering L-theanin, so I'll get it probably tomorrow or thursday.

Bedtime: 2am
First wakeup: around 9am?
-dream occur-
Final wakeup: 11:30am
Supplaments: 2 of B75

The dream:

I was in a hotel with my dad and probably more people. My dad had a air rifle that I tried out.
Then when I'd got bored of it, I walked around in the hotel, I walked upstairs and met kids that spoke spanish.
Then suddenly I heard somebody say that lava is coming. So I watched out the window and saw lava coming.
I started to run higher up on the hotel as I also started to write my last tweet on Twitter.

That's it

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was in my neighborhood on a cool, sunny day. I saw a blossoming tree, probably a young cherry tree, on the block caddy-corner from me. I saw it as if I were up the street frfom my corner (kind of to the north), while the tree was off from its corner as well (to the east).

Somehow I knew the world was going to end. I started either seeing or sensing check-mark boxes, like check-fields on a computer screen. As certain "symptoms" of doomsday were being listed, the check-mark boxes would turn green, as if to say this had already happened. Everything stated was being checked.

Dream #2

There was a man, possibly wearing a white suit, standing in a dark room. He was lit by a shaft of light which had little, stick-like patterns of black scattered throughout it. On either side of the man another light scheme played. This one was mostly black, with little, stick-like patterns of white scattered through it. The white lines may have been straighter and more ordered than the black lines. They may also have been totally vertical. These lights may also have flickered or strobed on and off, possibly to music, and possibly as the man danced.

Dream #3

I was in some really big hotel "in Brooklyn." The hotel almost seemed to be in ruins, just a shell of an old, magnificent hotel. But there were a lot of people in there, and it seemed like they were guests. But the windows and doors all seemed to be hollowed out, the floor was just concrete, and the walls were just some kind of golden brick.

I heard or felt an earthquake (or just heard that there was an earthquake?). I went outside to see if I could feel it.

I stood out on some huge bridge, which may have been the Brooklyn Bridge. The bridge was made of tan-gold bricks. A deep, blue sky arched over it. The bridge began to heave up and down in sine-wave movements.

I now stood out on what may have been a deck for the big hotel. It was just a big, concrete area looking out over a big river (the East River?) and shaded by the height of the building. There were a bunch of people outside with me. We were all relaxed. It was like we were having a party.

Suddenly there was a feeling of dizziness and swaying. People started saying, "Whoa... whoa..." as if they were trying to get their balance. I looked down. The concrete now looked like the walkway for the Manhattan Bridge. But it was swaying and bulging. I knew this was an earthquake, but I didn't want to believe it was. It seemed like an earthquake would be really inconvenient at this moment.

It was now like I stood on a floor high up in the building. I was with a few other people. The building began swaying. It swayed so much I thought it was going to fall right over. It seemed really flexible, really elastic. It swayed down at one point so I saw some scene of concrete and rusty metal as if from a bird's eye view.

The room I was in then seemed to be "shaken loose" from the building. The room, possibly a whole floor, was drifting down to some area that also looked like ruined tangles of iron and conrete. But I kept thinking there was a chance that the room would manage to float all the way over the the Manhattan Bridge. I really wanted to be on a bridge while the earthquake was happening.

Dream #4

I was in a living room with two women. The feeling of the living room was very strange. It was almost like it was inside a house in the suburbs, but that the house was somehow on stilts or up a very high staircase.

The living room seemed pretty big. It was kind of dim, as if only one pale light was on in the room. The walls may have had some kind of pale sea-green color. The two women sat at a table. The table was covered with plush toys like stuffed animals. The two women sat next to each other on a long side of the table, which was just wide enough for them both. I knelt before the table, kind of low, so that I was barely poking my head above the table top.

I had gotten a gift for the woman on my right. This woman had a very boyish look and short hair. But she was still very pretty. I don't know what the gift was. Maybe it had been another plush toy.

The other girl laughed that I had gotten a gift for the first girl. Without her saying anything, I could tell why the second girl was laughing. Both the girls were lesbians, though they weren't lovers with each other.

The second girl, who was maybe in her late teens or early twenties, prettyish, with pale skin and long, brown hair, didn't think I knew the two girls were lesbians. She loved seeing boys express their love either for her or the first girl, and then somehow making it known that they were both gay, and making the boy feel stupid.

I was kind of annoyed by the second girl's intentions, even though I knew them ahead of time. I hadn't gotten the first girl a gift because I loved her. We had apparently worked together, and she had been a really good co-worker. So I wanted to give her a gift to show her my appreciation.

The first girl stood up and walked away. Some other things may have happened. We may all have been milling around the house for a bit. There were now a few other people in the house.

I had walked to the other end of the living room. I now turned around and walked back. There were two or three folding tables arranged in an "L" shape and cluttered over with stuff like quilts. A black or Latina woman, maybe in her late thirties, sat behind the table making the base of the "L."

I approached the woman to ask her if there was anything I could do for her. The woman was talking as if she were just finishing up talking to a group of students, for whom she was trying to coordinate some activity. But there didn't seem to be any students around.

The woman may then have spent some time explaining to me how serious she was about her work. The woman had a slightly brash, no-nonsense voice. But I could tell she really cared about people, including me -- for some reason!

The woman told me, "Yeah, go up in there and clean up the mess on the floor. But if you don't want to, you don't have to."

So I went "up there," which was a room at the other end of the living room, through a set of swinging doors. A little, black boy followed me into the room. It was a long, kind of narrow room. It may have looked a little like a dining room, with a few long dining tables in it. But it also had a lot of bookshelves along the walls (as well as really nice, big, tall windows shaded by sheer, white curtains). And there seemed to be toys on the floor.

At first I thought the job of cleaning up the floors was going to be easy -- too easy. I'd wanted a job that would make me feel like I'd really "helped the kids" (???), but this job would be over in just a few moments. The little, black boy had skip-run to the end of the rfoom and was now skip-dancing around.

I looked at the floor more closely. There was actually a lot of stuff like dough on the floor. Some of it may actually have been smashed into the maroon-colored carpet. I was relieved. This looked like a decent job. But I was uncertain whether I could actually get such sticky stuff as dough all the way out of this carpet.

The organizer woman then told me (as if I stood in front of her again) that I didn't need to clean the floor if it was going to be too big a job. She actually told me that I simply should not clean up the floor if the job looked like it was going to require a lot of effort, as this would simply be overkill.

I may have half-heartedly told the woman, "But I want to clean the floor." I wanted to do something useful.

Dream #5

I was in a living room. I stood before a couch. My friend EI, who tends bar at places where I do karaoke, sat on the left (my left) side of the couch. A man who I didn't quite see sat on the right side. The couch, as well as the living room, seemed to be cluttered with stuff like blankets and plush toys.

It felt like there was a party going on here, although I couldn't see anybody else in the room. The room also seemed quiet. The light in the room was pale, as if lit by a strong, cold incandescdent (or LED?) bulb.

The man may have been of medium height, pale white, with a slight beard and messy, short, brown hair. He may have been wearing a really baggy, dark sweater and dark pants. He may possibly have given the impression that he didn't want to talk to me.

EI and I started talking. We were soon quite aroused by each other. I told EI that I really shouldn't do anything. My friend H was in the next room, studying. H and I were pretty much together. So if H saw EI and I making out, she'd be really upset.

But even as I was saying this, I was starting to embrace EI. EI was wearing something like a dancer's outfit. It was hot pink, spandex-like material, in two pieces. The top was like a very short cut shirt, almost like a bra with short sleeves. The skirt was also very short, like an ice skater's skirt and bottom.

I embraced EI and began kissing her belly, then kissing up her chest and neck. All this time I was telling her that we really shouldn't do this. EI looked really happy with what I was doing to her.

EI was so tiny (she's pretty tiny IWL, but she was even tinier!). I wrapped my arms around her waist. Her short skirt was turning me on so much. I moved my head down so I could put my face on her crotch.

But for some reason, EI was now straddling me on the couch. Suddenly, H opened a door to the right (my right) of the couch. She poked her head out and called my name, a little matter-of-factly. I tried to say that I was telling EI we shouldn't do this.

I walked into the bedroom from which H had popped out her head. I was now laying on the bed with H. H was reading from some sort of textbook. She wore a pale brown t-shirt. The bed was just a mattress on the floor. The mattress and everything else in the room seemed really cluttered.

I had explained to H that I hadn't meant to get that involved with EI. H seemed to be okay with everything I was saying. I started kissing H softly. But she kind of pushed me off, saying she needed to study.

I walked out of H's room through a door on the wall to the left of the wall with the door through which I had entered.

I was now in a long, dim, narrow room. The room was lit with warm, dim, red and yellow light -- almost like a dim, incandescent light offset by red holiday lights. I sat in some strange, narrow space with two women. The space was like a wooden bench, a barrier made of thin, twisty, black-iron bars, and some long, thin, wooden chest of drawers. But I'm not sure how it was all arranged.

The space seemed to be set at the edge of a living room, to face a ledge down to a little, red-stone-tiled entrance area for the house. Behind us, the living room may have had one dim area with a dining table, behind which was a more normally-lit area, which was larger and possibly more like a living room.

One of the women was very boyish-looking. She was blonde, with shaggy hair. She wore a baggy, green, flannel shirt and blue jeans. She looked a little like the blonde son on the TV show Home Improvement. But her face had a sharper, more delicate look, and her faced, though tan, had an almost Spenserian combination of ivory skin and rosy cheeks. That alone made her strikingly attractive to me.

The other woman was a pretty, young woman, possibly with pale skin and black hair. The first woman and I had found the second woman on the road somewhere. We brought her here to this place.

The second woman started telling us the story of her life, and how she'd ended up on the street. The story was really sad. But the woman was so adorable that, even as she recounted her tribulations, she was really turning me on. She was also arousing the first woman.

The first woman and I walked away from the second woman. We were now in another room, which was a double room. The first part of the room was lit with soft, incandescent light and had a big chest of drawers at its center. The second part of the room had no light of its own. It had a round dining table.

The first woman and I first stood by the big chest of drawers. I thought the woman was going to tell me how she was so attracted to the second woman. I figured I'd have to leave this place while the first woman seduced the second woman.

But the woman instead told me that she'd been really impressed by the concern that I'd shown the second woman. She'd also thought it was cute that I'd been turned on by the second woman.

The first woman and I were now sitting at the table. The woman said, "So I've decided. I'm just going to do it. Right now. Three, two, one."

The woman suddenly kissed me. She kissed me quickly, backed her head away, then kissed me again. She backed away and seemed about to kiss me again. But I stopped her. I said I couldn't do this.

H popped her head out from another door and called for me. I didn't go to H this time. But her entrance into the scene did get me to stop kissing the woman.

Later I was in the first part of the room. There were a few other people there, like for a party. The chest of drawers had been set up as a buffet, with a lot of different dishes of food.

I walked over to the back side of the buffet to get some food. As I did, the first and second woman were walking away. Their backs were turned to me, and they hadn't seen me.

I noticed that both the women had extremely huge rear ends. I knew time had passed since I had last seen them. I figured they must both have gotten really overweight in the time that had passed. I thought I had been pretty lucky not to have gotten involved with them.

But I wondered if they hadn't been so terribly overweight when I'd first met them. I thought maybe they had been deceptively thin on their upper bodies, so that I'd just assumed they were thin overall. I also thought that maybe they'd disguised their being overweight with baggy clothes.

(I try not to think so shallowly in waking life. I also try not to judge anybody based on their appearance.)

Morning of February 9, 1979. Friday.



This is a recurring dream event of getting off a bus (likely a metaphor for a shift in consciousness). Here, I am with my “mystery girl” (wife Zsuzsanna prior to knowing she was a real person) who is vaguely associated with being a Mouseketeer, though I am not sure of our destination (possibly a television studio?). Though I am living in Wisconsin in reality, my dream’s location may be near Disney World in Florida. As we get off the bus, my mystery girl (I am not certain if it was absentmindedly or on purpose for some reason) drops a snow globe so that it hits the sidewalk near the curb and cracks open.

At the same time, the entire universe is destroyed with a brief soft cracking sound; the fabric of space “cracks” and the stars seemingly float in a liquid (in a similar way as fake “snowflakes” float in the liquid in a snow globe). Oddly, it does not seem that threatening even though it is “the end”.

On another level of course, this dream merely represents the waking mechanism - the “destruction” of my dream.

The snowflake (which also represents the Star of David and as such, also a two-dimensional view of the Merkaba) relates directly to my wife Zsuzsanna (and was also precognitive of the “I am fragile, I am avalanche” B.C. strip becoming one of my favorites), but seems to be shown here as a chaotic “flurry of stars”, linking the concept of a blizzard with stars randomly “falling” and moving, something I had not (prior to this) made any connection to before regardless of the obvious imagery. (However, when I was five years of age, I did made a cutout picture of a winter scene which actually confused snowflakes with stars.)

Additionally, I get the impression that a crack, which otherwise expresses fragility, also looks like a lightning bolt, implying the opposite (as well as representing the potential to grow severed nerves and tendons back again as I did from July 1962 on). This in turn is likely an association with my accident as a toddler, which caused my brain to be “rewired” through the retraining of my “dead” hand, allowing the usage of parts of the mind that people otherwise would never know about.

Update Monday, 28 December 2015. I should probably include a couple more details relating to how I know this dream was precognitive. Not only did it include my lifelong “mystery girl” (of consistent appearance and of Zsuzsanna’s unlikely mixed heritage), there is the connection to the snow globe and the song “Suzi Snowflake” (“Suzi” is the anglicized shortened form of my wife’s first name). Additionally, my brother Earl recorded “Hey Hey Hey Snowflake” directly after his marriage.

Morning of February 7, 1976. Saturday.



This was in the second month of the upcoming bicentennial in July, but I am not sure if that had anything to do with any potential associations.

There is some sort of unsettling back story in my dream’s origin. It has to do with the end of the world. The “end of the world” is apparently to start when three jets flying over, I assume of the US Air Force, in the form of a “V” (one flying ahead of two others that are somewhat side by side), will indicate that the world only has a few hours or so left (though this may be relative to people only living in the United States). In fact, there is an idea that, even though other jets may be flying over the region, these specifically will make a sound like “doom doom doom”.

Over time, there is not much concern. But eventually, I hear the “woom, woom woom” sound that is supposedly the sign of the three jets approaching and flying over. However, this turns out to be, in reality, as the sound wakes me, a large truck going north down Highway Seventeen - it actually did seem a bit like three loud “wooms” or “dooms” but not really with an additional jet-like sound. This is somewhat odd and seems like in-dream precognition of some sort relating to similar experiences where the dream builds seemingly intentionally to a sound not yet heard or expected. This was in fact the only time I perceived a passing semi in this way. I am also not usually awakened by traffic sounds, even the occasional louder vehicle. (I even missed hearing the train at times during the night other than when it had the blaring horn.)

Night of November 5, 1965 to morning of November 6, 1965. Friday night to Saturday morning.



Summary: I dreamt a television-influenced scenario in real time, with the same soundtrack but mostly different imagery.

After extensive research, I have been able to pinpoint more data on one of the most vivid (but previously less documented) dreams of the later half of 1965. I have written about it several times in the past, but will detail as much as possible here. Curiously, it turns out to be yet another “unexplained” November 6th event (of which there is at least one for every year of my life) with heightened awareness and personal links as well as a deep nostalgia relating to certain dream states.

This was mostly a lucid dream (in that I knew I was dreaming and it was almost as vivid as real life) but I did not take control at any point. Also interesting was that my dream (the on-the-couch version) seemed to last more than a day. This is even in relation to the hour-long soundtrack of the show seeming extended over that long.

My dream occurred over about an hour, with several false awakenings as well as actual partial awakenings, but then it went into a “reset” (when I actually went to my own bed across the hall) and some of it repeated the next morning with other mixed dreams. It was basically caused by falling asleep at the beginning of the “Don’t Open Till Doomsday” episode of “The Outer Limits” television series. Although I was already seriously into dream work at this time (age four, almost five), this dream alone enhanced my interest greatly. I begin to watch the show in my sister’s Rose Street apartment, sitting on the couch on my own, but I was already quite tired, starting to have heavy eyes at the line “There is nothing wrong with your television set”, firstly falling asleep during this time.

Much of my dream occurred as I was lying on my right side on the couch but otherwise facing the television. The show was in black-and-white, but my dream was in vivid color. As with many other dreams, they remained far more detailed, memorable, and clear than the actual shows they were “scripted” by in real life (and with “better special effects” and more “realistic” in general). During the days without YouTube, Internet, and so on, it sometimes took a few years to confirm how details distorted relative to the original “script”.

One of the things that struck me in-dream was the eye that seemed to float in blackness but which was actually someone looking into the box at the miniature alien-monster from his side. This was probably one of the most internally influential images of the time. In reality, the actual creature looked (to me at the time) like a pile of dog poo with one eye stuck on. I noted this especially as I was, in liminal floating, trying to work out what was a dream and what was really on the television screen.

Also in my dream there was far more drama and action than the show that was actually on at the time, though the sound track was primarily the same (but again, seemingly over a much longer time period). In my dream, the monster was actually gigantic (instead of a miniature in a box) and was also green and orange and somewhat octopus-like (but with a mostly hairless gorilla-like head). At one point, I watch the giant creature (while seemingly disembodied) move through a large city, “walking” from left to right, its tentacles moving about, sometimes destroying buildings. In this case, there is also a scene where the eye appears in the sky as if in reference to the moon or another planet.

Near the end of my dream, there is a scene where a man is trying to hide from this giant creature that is hunting him (not at all anything like the show’s actual plot) and the creature “unknowingly” destroys a skyscraper the man is in. As the building collapses, the man free-falls outside the collapsing outer wall and even though it is a fall from around the twentieth floor, he survives with no injuries. After a typical in-dream “reset” I become the character in a similar replay.

Curiously, my relevant most coherent awakening occurred at the exact moment the hand-printed note was shown at the end of the episode (which read “Don’t Open Till Doomsday”) though I was still a bit groggy. From there I went to my own bed even though I had a few false awakenings where it seemed I had already. The line “If I cannot annihilate the world, I must uncreate myself…”, even though heard in my sleep at age four, was still clearly in my mind in my later teenage years, proof of strong influence in liminal states.

Morning of April 26, 1972. Wednesday.



I am walking in a large field, apparently in an area in or near Arcadia, traveling north with Steve J, Tina L, Kenneth H, and a few others. The sun is to the east at about fifty degrees altitude and it seems to be about noon or earlier. There is one area we pass that seems to be a cornfield. I do not see any buildings at this point. Much of the landscape is featureless.

After a short time, part of the sun “explodes” into sparks of about three different small sizes that almost immediately seem to be in Earth’s atmosphere as if the sun was just a large burning feature hovering in the sky not that far away. I hear a sizzling and notice a few small grass fires farther to the east.

We all start to run, but I go in a different direction more to the northwest (while the others mostly run north). I eventually hide in an unfamiliar old barn which is fairly dark. I decide to squat near a wooden half-wall of a stall. I eventually start to hear what sounds like older ladies talking. There soon seems to be a series of rude critical comments and gossip about other ladies who are likely not present, such as a particular hat being out of fashion, though there are nice comments about necklaces made of daisies and the merits of wearing the “right” cowbell and so on. This seems very strange and the supposed catastrophe eventually seems almost like a false memory within my dream - or at least something not to worry about.

The “ladies” that are talking (none of them notice me at any point and I do not directly see any of them) turn out to be cows and horses idly chatting in the barn. Oddly, this does not trigger lucidity and I mostly sit and listen to their gossip as my dream fades.

In a very similar dream or “reset” during the same morning, this time, right after I start running northwest, I seemingly become disembodied while taking to the air and then hover closely over an image of a small seemingly prehistoric lizard (it actually seemed to be a sort of olive-colored Florida chameleon) “frozen” in rock almost like some sort of powerful mystical fossil. It is me. It is apparently who and what I had always been - though maybe I am now in transition. I “realize” this as I wake. It almost seems hypnopompic.

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The lizard scene is a waking precursor as a sunrise metaphor. I am coming out of my being “embedded” in the fossil, analogous to waking, and the lizard represents the circadian rhythms symbol as such because lizards come out to sun themselves on rocks. The chameleon association relates to the dream self “changing” into the whole conscious self.