All DJ Entries

comment non-lucid lucid

The last dream of the night.

I am in beautiful mountains with some other people (at least initially). We are on a freshly mown meadow, it’s sloping and we are going uphill, there is a forest. It is morning and it is still slightly dark and it is also very cold, I can feel the cold. We consider making a fire but we want to find a more sheltered place, closer to the forest.
I go uphill, I think I am on my own now and there is a road and a crossroad, on the edge of the forest. I can see light through the gap in the forest created by one of the roads. There is a city. But it gets very foggy (as in real foggy weather) and I can’t see much, the trees around disappear in the fog. Then I see a car and I am worried how they can safely drive in this fog. The fog clears a bit and I can see a modern city with skyscrapers and there are houses where the forest was before.
That annoys me a lot. I was in a beautiful forest, I want my forest back.
I am not having this. I feel like fuck this, let’s go lucid and I say “nope, this is a dream”.
I hear whoosh and it’s like going under water. Everything gets dark and shaking. I want to stabilize but how? I can’t see anything. Suddenly I find myself squatting or sitting instead of standing and I can feel something solid in my hands, which is good, but I am confused. Is this my real body in this position? If it is, I mustn’t move. But I move my legs anyway and I can see them and they are trembling.
It starts feeling almost like vibrations and I start to feel my real body, noticing it is relaxed and in a normal position. I try to calm myself and DEILD but I am not successful, I am too awake.

1st time being lucid 2 times per night!

comment non-lucid semi/questioning lucid

Waking up at 10:00 (falling asleep around 5). Journaling 3 dream fragments.
Some problems with sleeping. 10:50 postman.

Hill and a subway
I am hiking to some hill and I take the subway on my way back. I am worried that I fail to get off at the correct station.

FA1
I am in some room, in a guest house, after coming back from the hike. It's the morning and I am putting on a long canvas dress, even though it looks weird and it is cold.

FA2
I am again in some kind of accommodation (possibly the same as in the previous dream) but the room is different. I really want to sleep but I am worried that it's too late and I don't know when the checkout time is. Then there is R and he is not worried at all. He offers me some breakfast cereals. I remember I've already eaten them and threw away the box (IRL). I am thinking that he probably hid/put aside some of them. I want him to find out when the checkout is.

FA3
I am again in the same room but this time, I am sleeping on a mattress on the ground, close to the bed from the previous dream. R is next to me, taking too much space and waking me up and I am mad because I want to sleep. Then I remember that we actually sleep somewhere else, so I should get enough sleep, even though I am not sleeping here.
Then the dream shifts to some time later and we are getting up. R is sitting on the mattress. I say "this is a FA" and do a nose-plug RC. I can breathe. But I am still confused and I can't see well. I ignore R (he doesn't exist anyway) and have the idea to find my glasses, maybe they help me with my vision. I go to the bed from FA2, trying to find them. I find it fascinating that I can be dreaming and moving at once. It's like I think I am sort of sleepwalking and the bed from FA2 is my real bed and my body is my real body. I find the glasses but I don't use them - I am thinking that this all is creating in my head so it would be pointless to try to wear the glasses.
I go to the window, thinking about jumping out and flying. But what if this is reality?
I go to the door and suddenly, my vision is much better and not blurry at all. I think I woke up (in my sleepwalking body). I do the nose-plug RC again and I can breathe, so I relax. I notice R is watching me and feel bad for ignoring him. I tell him that this is a FA and because he saw me doing the nose-plug RC, I try to show him finger-in-palm RC but it doesn't go through. I try it again, really believing it can go through, but nothing. I think I am really bad at this.
I finally remember my goal to pass through a wall. But there is no point in trying to go through a wall if I can't make my finger go through my palm.
I wake up. DEILD attempt failed.

Time: 12:40
I can't sleep. Some unstable minidreams.

MiniWILD
I can't sleep and I am feeling earthquake-like vibrations. It's annoying because I want to sleep but I am familiar with them and prepare for a separation attempt.
I stay at our garden door. I slowly sit down, remembering that I need to take things slowly and slowly try to separate. Then I realize I am not in my bed anymore, which means I am already separated.
The dream collapses.
Then there is another wave of vibrations. But nothing afterwards.
I can't sleep...

I wake up at 13:25, I want to get up. I take another cushion, put my glasses on, trying to find the will for journaling my dreams. But I feel too tired. I put the glasses away and close my eyes... ten more minutes... or maybe a WILD? Falling asleep feels easy.

PseudoWILD
I watch HI and daydream a little bit, interacting with the HI and dreamlets.
At one moment, I notice there is instrumental music in the background. I realize it is in my head and not outside, so I could use it to get into the dream. I focus on the music, trying to raise the volume.
Through small gaps in my eyes, I start to see a room. It works. But it fades a little bit and I feel my body in the bed (dream body, dream bed). I focus again and I can almost see through my eyes but also not really. I have the idea that my dream eyes are closed and I try to open them. It works. I close my eyes and open them again and my vision is very good.
I get up, slowly, worried about the stability of the dream, but it's fine and I walk a bit. I am in an unknown room, my dream bed is there and another bed/sofa. And R is here, I bump into him on my way to the door. He blocks my way out, I almost pass through him but not fully. I tell him "you are just a DC, you don't exist" (really meaning "you shouldn't be blocking my way"). He says nothing.
I take his hand, leading him to the sofa, sitting next to him. He now looks like my brother, J. I say "and that's why you look like J". I feel sorry for him but skip to the only idea I have how to use this dream. "Do you want to have sex?" I ask. He is silent. "Do you want to do something else?" He shakes his head and gives me and an empty look.

I wake up. The time is 1:51. Interestingly, I feel well and not tired anymore.

Notes:
- I struggle with fake insomnia. It can manifest as dreams about not being able to sleep (as above) or I can be in a conscious NREM sleep while thinking I am awake. Basically, my ability to tell the difference between conscious NREM and being awake is almost non-existent.
- I can't tell if the pseudoWILD was WILD or not. I obviously dreamed most of the "transition". What I perceived as my bed and my body was a dream bed and a dream body (most probably). I can't tell if the music was a HH (then it would count as a confused WILD, I guess) or if it was a part of the dream (so technically not a WILD). But if I lost my self-awareness, I was out for a minute or two, probably not much more. The whole thing took between 20 and 25 minutes.

comment lucid non-lucid

VILD during a late WBTW. Visualizing something about an old woman who would teach me visualization. I think she is my dream guide because it was my subconscious filling in her look. I want to meet her in a dream one day.
I am losing it, my minds wander through short daydreams, dreamy thoughts and minidreams.

Rose Garden
In my childhood garden, I am thinking about where to plant roses.

A shitty dream sign
I am in my grandmother's house, with my husband, in her bed. I notice he has something brown on his green fleece jacket and it is poop, stuck to his jacket in several places on his back!
I call my mum but I can't scream, so I tell him to call her. She comes and takes the jacket and tries to clean it.
I talk with her about how she got a water tap to this room (it isn't there IRL). She tells me to think. I realize there always was a water pipe on the other side of the wall. But I don't understand why the water pipe leads through a wardrobe.
I think about how my husband was able to get the poop all over his jacket. How was he able to do it? And how was he positioned in the litter tray?
I realize it is my cat usually having these problems, not my husband!
I am waking up from the dream but I feel relaxed. There will be another dream soon.

Exploring a mysterious research facility
I am lying on a floor, it's made of beige tiles, cold and sloping down from me. I realize this is my dream body lying there, feeling this, and I am lucid! I am worried about the dream not being stable yet but I try to slide down the slope, head first. But I have some clothing under me, preventing this. I return to my original position, worrying about moving my real body if I do something too radical.
Then I decide this is stable enough and movement helps to stabilize anyway, so I adjust my clothing, sit, and slide down the slope, gaining speed on my way down.
Under the slope, I stand in a corridor. There are two doors, partially open. I choose the way directly forward but can't stop thinking about the other door. What was there?
Behind the door, there is another corridor and some cabinets with drawers. It feels like some (old/socialist/east European) research facility or a similar institution (imagine tiled floor, wood veneer on furniture, and that ugly yellow waterproof paint on the walls). I open some of the drawers, they are very detailed but empty.
There are more doors and I have to choose again. I feel a presence behind one of those doors and get worried about someone finding me here. I quickly progress away from this presence and suppress the thought.
Another door and I can hear some people and smell food. Great, I think, an opportunity to taste some food in a LD.
It looks like a cafe. They have some deep-fried stuff and some big fried balls, maybe eggs. I ask if I can get something and they tell me to wait in line.
I start remembering that I was just sleeping and only have my sleeping clothes and no money with me. That sounds like a problem. I have an idea to check my pockets but no money they - only an old, used, paper tissue. I try again and try to really believe that I have money but again, nothing there.
It's my turn and I say that I want something to eat but have no money. They obviously think I am crazy. I ask them if they can give me something again but people around laugh, thinking I am some poor student.
I leave the room, feeling embarrassed. Isn't it stupid, that I have to pay in my own dream?
I try spinning around to leave the scene and change the scenery but I only crash into an automatic door and hurt my arms. Which is even more embarrassing.
Then there is a huge hall, like a railway station or something like that. There are people - many of them - hurrying somewhere, everyone going somewhere and there's too many of them and I am still disoriented after crashing into that door and I don't know what to do.
Suddenly, there is my ex, S. He says: "You are someone I used to have sex with a lot" and I say "You are someone I used to have sex with a lot" too and we hug and start to make out.
I tell him "this is my dream" and he says "no, this is my dream". I say "I don't believe in shared dreaming" and I think that means that one of us has to be lying. And it has to be him because I know I am dreaming. Or is it possible to be in someone else's dream? What if this is really his dream and this is the reason why I lack control?
I notice that his face has changed. His hairs are now short and his face is different. And he feels like someone else. Is this some shared dreaming trick? I ask him why is he looking different.
I wake up.

Tornado
I am outside with my father, on the way back to our home. We're already very close, just about 100 meters away from it. We see my mother for some reason doing something in an empty store, placing science equipment onto the counter in front of the window. My father says something which makes me suspicious that they might be gifting me the store as a workspace. While advancing closer to our home, I start debating in my mind if this could actually happen, which is quickly interrupted by my father telling me to look somewhere.

I look where he looks and we see a very, very dark cloud with lots of lightning. At first, we were both happy about this, but then, we suddenly see a very quick tornado zoom by, seemingly in random, chaotic patterns. We try to go back to my mother, but we apparently overshoot the target and end up in a shopping district about 600 meters from our home. I notice this and tell my father, so we turn around and again try to get to her. We go back a bit, then turn around again, before then again turning around. I asked my father which store she was in again, as I had forgotten because of my bad memory. My father said he doesn't know and we walk towards the house again. We then overshoot the target once again and end up in what was apparently a room in our flat. We're then suddenly at ground level in the house again, standing in front of the staircase to the higher floors and my father states something along the lines that we can't go outside again. I also knew it was too late to try to warn my mother.

A while later, my mother comes through the door, seemingly not having noticed the storm, nor the tornado. I come to my mother, suddenly standing a bit further outside, and tell her that there was a tornado here, before seeing it zoom by again, making me correct myself and making me point to it. She sarcastically states that that's absolutely amazing and we go inside.

Sudden (semi-)lucidity
I am standing in the bathroom, my mother ominously standing in the back of the room, behind the toilet. She seems to look up outside the skylight. She appears to say something which I don't remember but was just as creepy as the way that she was standing there. Suddenly, I become (semi-?)lucid and run over to my room right next to the bathroom. I pushed my chair to my computer table, before trying to change random things on my face to see if I could do it. It didn't work, and I tried remembering lucid dreaming articles about dream control. I then recalled you could, for example, drink something and imagine it was a potion that would change something. I felt a bit afraid of that because I wasn't entirely sure if this really was a dream. On my computer, a DreamViews page was opened, but before I could check it out, I woke up.

Short false awakening
I "woke up", looking outside the window to the clouds. Something felt unusual, but I don't know what.

Staircase
I am on the staircase to my home. There're some changes, and it resembles an older dream from the design. I walk up the narrow staircase, having to go through strange doors leading to homes, as well as things like hospitals. The first room I had gone through was empty and had no people in it, the second had a doctor talking through a procedure with the son of a woman who seemed to be a neighbor in the previous version of the dream. I listened to the conversation a bit, before trying to exit the room to continue up the stairs. I woke up before I could continue walking.

---

I'm not sure if the presumably lucid dream was actually that or just something else that I could mix up in retrospect. I seemed to be consciously in the dream, but I somehow didn't even think too much about anything else than what I had programmed into myself as what I first want to try to get a feel for lucid dreams, I didn't really think. Is that what a semi-lucid dream is?

A had power to teleport myself and others or things with me. There were plans to use my abilities to make expedition to Mars. But we run into problem- I wasn't able to teleport there, it was as if there was some kind of barrier. I was doing some strange research to find way to circumvent the problem. At some point I got idea that I'm dreaming.
Therefore I went away from there to do some scouting... There was dark forest outside of research building... and a clean new road was leading into distance. I started to run... as often in my LDs I either fly in prone position, or glide in vertical position. Here I was running effortlessly with longer and longer steps(tens to hundreds of meters long). After a few minutes I saw friend standing in front of me, she looked lost... Afraid of very dark forest.
I stopped by her, took her hand and told her: "don't worry, this is only a dream, I will be your guide here. Lets run, its a fun!"
She was reluctant to move from the place... but then started to walk with me, then we ran. I again elongated my steps to tens of meters length... and she did that too. She started to smile... It was so romantic to run this way, hand in hand... effortlessly and fast. Her brown hairs were waving in wind... The dream had lost stability and I had woken up... with the feel of her hand on my hand... strange.

I set my alarm for 4:30 for my wbtb. I def was dreaming before that time, but I put all my energy into the time after 4:30. And hey, it payed off!! After waking up at 4:30 I becaming lucid with wild. Again, focusing on my breathing and trying to fall asleep kinda does it for me. This time I started hearing sounds from the apartment next door. Screams and stuff, but the I got the buzzing feeling in my body I tend to get when wilding. So I knew I was on track. The sounds got louder and the visual hallucinations get a bit wilder. Have a hard time transitioning into the dream, so the way I do it is just sit up INSTANTLAY in my bed. This kinda forces a false awakening for me. Well I woke up a minute into the lucid dream. I got startled by something yet again...

This next lucid dream was a dild. Again the content is irrelevant. I got lucid at the very end of the dream I assume, since the dream had been going on for a REALLY long time before I realised I was dreaming. I used the standard nose pinch RC and quickly moved on to a dream goal. While trying to carry out this goal, I woke up.... And this time, yet again, I woke up because my wife was poking me in the face with her elbows while turning in bed lol..... Well.... I'll get longer lucids next time!!!!!

Well I got lucid again. The dream was very vivid, and the feeling of it was very "real", just like I want it. Since I started up my lucid dreamning training agin (abut a month ish ago) I have had about 10 lucid dreams. Which I think is pretty decent, since 4 years ago when I was practicing lucid dreaming, I barely got lucid, and had a hard time stabilizing and controlling the dream. I guess I have come pretty far (compared to then). I feel like I get lucid a decent amount, so it's been easier for me to work with the stuff I wanted to. For an example one of my "lifetime goals" was just to do some physical training in a dream, and experiment with this. I already have been able to fulfill that goal lolz so that's nice. I will def come back to the physical training in dream, when my dream control, stability and lucid frequency (haha the amount I get lucid) gets better. Only a matter of time I guess?
Well this lucid was the random dild I dislike. Normally I don't like these since the induction technique I feel is just like rolling dice. Either you are lucky or you aren't... well tonight I got lucky lol. And it felt good. It actually felt like this technique can have some consistency to it.
Dream: I ant totally remember the dream, since I feel like I used up all my memory on remembering all the details of the lucid part, and trying to deild back into the lucid dream after I woke up... well I def remember I got lucid.
Me and 2 friends from my climbing gym just got of a train, and onto the train station. I don't remember the city we were in. But I remember it definitely was not Scandinavia or Asia lol. We walked over a 2 laned road, and as we were walking a car came speeding by. We started running instead of walking, and barely made it across the road. While taking the last step across the road, I got very aware of everything. It was like everything kinda slowed down, and I had time to think and feel my body and surroundings. (I often do this in waking life to RC. I mean the focus and feeling part). While feeling my body I noticed how I jumped over the curb and gently landed on the soles of my feet on the sidewalk. I could feel the impact on my soles, and it felt "real". I Odis the nose plug RC and damn... i was dreaming! I looked in front of me, and my friend was standing there, all happy since we made it across the road without being run over lol. (I have always had problems with summoning stuff. People, items and surroundings, I have always had trouble controlling). It's always been a goal to summon/say hi to a friends in my dreams. But I have never been able to summon them, or go to a place where they were... so this time, I was aware of my past failings, and wanted to try something new, which I had tried once before in a dream. I asked my friend in the dream, if he knew where my other friend were. He looked around and pointed to a house nearby, and told me my friend was in there. He lead the way. We walked into this old house, and went up a flight of stairs and into a room upstairs. And sure enough my friend was there lol! We talked about training, as we always do lol. And my friends answers were pretty fking profound lol. I got exited about or conversation lol, and woke up!
I didn't move as I woke up, since I wanted to deild back into the dream and continue the dream where it left off. I tried for some time, but I was too exited to fall back asleep.... dang. I def need to hear what these dream characters have to say haha.

Well the way I got lucid wasn't as rng as it used to. Normally something strange happens, or dream characters talk about dreams, before I question my awareness. But this time I questioned my awareness just by myself. This is a step in the right direction I think. And a step towards making dilds more consistent and on MY terms.

Nice! If you can't so the dream control (summoning friends or whatever) just let the dream characters so the work for you lol.

Awake, Non-lucid dream, Lucid dream, [Commentary made while awake]

[For the second lucid in a row, I'm actually aware of the dream beginning, and it begins the same way as the last one - a visual scene emerges out of a blank nothingness, and I focus on it until it expands from a few little circles to fill my entire field of vision. This time,] I'm out in front of a big, old, two-story wooden house where some Toastmasters meetings are going to take place. I go inside to attend them, and some of my real-life Toastmasters friends are there, too. There are also visitors there, whom they are trying to recruit to Toastmasters. While I'm standing around and talking with the group, I demonstrate my ability to fly from the ground floor of the house up to the upstairs balcony. I compare it to "lifting myself by the seat of my pants" [shoutout to Dr. Seuss!] because, I notice on this particular occasion, that's roughly what it feels like when I bring my concentration to bear on the task of actuating that ability. It feels like I'm using my mental concentration to lift myself up from the small of my back and propel myself through the air. I say to the assembled DCs: "I used to be very secretive about my flying, but now I'm very open about it. I think everyone should be able to enjoy it." [And I do.]

After the meetings are over, I walk out of the house onto the street, except where one would expect there to be a street, there is instead a big, shallow swimming pool. It is surrounded by tropical plants, and its edges go in a series of curves so that the overall shape of the pool is a big, amoeba-like blob with lots of curving pockets sticking out every which way. I walk around to one side of the pool, sit down on the edge, put my feet in the water, and think: "I wonder if I can change my clothes just by thinking about it?" I close my eyes and concentrate on what I want to happen - namely, I want to be wearing a swimsuit. I can actually feel the swimsuit form around me. When I open my eyes, I'm wearing a tankini with tribal-looking geometric patterns on it in raspberry, burgundy, and many other colors. I exclaim out loud, "Holy $#!*, I did it!" [It was a super cute swimsuit, but certainly not one I would ever choose for myself in real life. Upon reflecting afterwards, I realized that my dream body doesn't have stretch marks - or if it does, they're much less noticeable than they are in real life, since I don't remember noticing them - and it's also less fat than my real one, though not dramatically so.]

I notice that the regular clothes I had just been wearing - jeans, button-down shirt and white sneakers - are now floating on the surface of the pool, around me. I get the rest of the way into the pool. There are two other people enjoying the pool, two guys and another woman. I realize that while my swimsuit top has shoulder straps, it also has a part that's supposed to tie together across my back, just at the bottom of my shoulder blades, and it's untied. I approach the woman (the pool is shallow enough to walk in easily) and say, "Trade you ties?" We tie the ties on each other's swimsuits, as I had just requested. She is some type of POC [most likely South Asian? I couldn't say for sure] and very pretty, and her name is Kim.

After swimming and lounging around for a bit, the two guys, Kim, and I all get out of the pool, down at the far end of the 'street,' away from the house I had just been in. Another dream character is standing there, a petite, definitely East Asian woman [she reminds me of a younger Agent May from the "Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D." TV series]. She asks me and the two guys to come with her; she is recruiting us for some kind of spy-adventure-type mission. [I have no idea why she ignored Kim completely, but she did.] We follow her, but I turn to say goodbye to Kim, who is now standing on the edge of the pool, as I go.

The two guys and I follow Young Agent May into an area that looks like an ancient temple courtyard, all dusty dirt floors and high, light-yellow-tan-colored walls of rough-hewn stone that stand open to the sky. There are lots of wall segments forming corners, but there is a space off to the left that's more than big enough for a dark-brown, equally-roughly-hewn wooden table with two people sitting behind it. This is the check-in desk for the adventure/mission. Young Agent May goes over to check us in, and I look around the courtyard while the two guys start to explore. As I'm looking around, a brochure printed on unbleached brown paper appears in my hand. The title, printed in a curved swoop across the center in big, yellow letters, reads "Dole Presents: Adventures in Dole Whip." [Or something like that. Interestingly enough, I could read the whole thing perfectly fine. I can't remember all of it, but I'll reproduce the text I do remember.] The brochure goes on to say: "This dreamer is about to earn her title! Next Task: Create a tiny, consensually-dressed, applesauce humanoid." There's even an illustration of this little humanoid figure I'm apparently supposed to create out of applesauce. [Don't ask me what "consensually-dressed" is supposed to mean. Presumably "dressed in an outfit of its own choosing," with an undertone of "modestly dressed."]

I wake up to the sensation of my left arm being asleep. I've fallen asleep on my left side, something I rarely do.

[Cool! New ability! This is the first time I've ever changed my clothing at will. I guess that counts as changing my appearance, although I really meant changing an aspect of my physical body.]

Awake, Non-lucid dream, Lucid dream, [Commentary made while awake]

I see a beautiful, blue sky with lots of puffy, white clouds in it. I realize that this is a dream [I'm not quite certain, but I believe I became lucid by first realizing that I didn't recall how I had gotten outdoors where I could look up at the sky], and ground my awareness in the dream by focusing on the clouds in the sky. The sky expands to fill my field of vision, covering up and washing out the gray nothing behind it.

I realize I'm in the backyard of the house I lived in as a child, and I'm with two girls I knew in elementary school. I walk around the neighborhood with them for a bit, exploring the yards of the houses. They are fenced in, and many of them are on very steep hills [which was not the case in real life]. At one point, a man who lives in one of the houses sees us. Eventually, I stop following them and start following two DCs who are young women closer to my own age now, a blonde one and an Asian one. [I typically prefer to spend my lucid-dreaming time exploring my dream world on my own, but this time, I thought I could maintain a longer, more stable lucid dream if I focused my attention on following two dream characters around, instead. It seems to have worked.]

We end up wandering from the suburban neighborhood we're in to a well-lit, wood-paneled mall. We end up in front of a hair salon, where the salon owner stops us and presents the Asian DC with an award for her hairdressing skills. I notice that she is suddenly wearing a pretty, fancy dress appropriate for accepting an award at an awards ceremony. After she accepts it, we continue wandering around and exploring. The next time I notice the Asian DC, I see that she's wearing casual, comfortable clothes again. I exclaim in disappointment, "Aw, man! I wanted to do the finger-snap thing!" [Meaning, I wanted to consciously and actively change her from one outfit to another by snapping my fingers, Q-style. I was disappointed that she had performed the transformation on her own. ]

Our wanderings continue to take us through indoor environments, and we eventually end up in a spacious church where the service is just about to start. A greeter hands me a service bulletin, which is a single large sheet of paper that you have to fold up yourself. I wander through the sanctuary, from front to back, just as the procession is starting.

As I wander outside again, I remember that the next time I found myself lucid dreaming, I had wanted to do the 'pinch your nose shut and try to breathe through it' reality check, so I do so. It still works the same as ever - I can still feel myself breathing even while pinching my nose, which I still think is the coolest sensation. However, this time, my dream-sense of touch tells me that I'm missing part of the tip of my nose. [I thought, "Maybe I've been reading too many A Song of Ice and Fire books?"]

I see the aforementioned blonde dream character again, and for the first time, we actually stop to talk. When I ask, she tells me that her name is Julia, and it turns out that she knows that I'm the dreamer. She refers to me as the "universe goddess." [There's a gap in my memory here; I don't recall how we got from just talking to this next part, but:]

Julia is now mostly submerged in a tank of water, and I lay one hand on the crown of her head, which is sticking up above the water, and say: "I, [my full, legal IRL name], do hereby name you Julia." As she climbs out of the tank, I add, " [Nickname] is short for [my full first name]." [I often explain that to people when meeting them for the first time IRL.] After Julia is out of the tank, I ask her if I can do that again, because I didn't use both hands. I ask her what her middle and last names are, and she says "Tilly El-Haz[something, I don't remember exactly]." We stand facing each other, and I lay both hands on the top of her head and name her with her full name. [She looked like she could have been Supergirl, or otherwise related to those Els.]

[Hmm. Fascinating. I've only met one or two other dream characters who exhibited any awareness that we were in a dream, and this is the first time one has referred to me in terms like "the universe goddess." This dream put me in a great mood, as my lucid dreams always do.]

06.17.2018
08:00 AM

Potion Lesson (DILD)

I am surprised I forgot how I realized I was dreaming in this one from not journaling it for a week! I know I was outside in a city. I stop and realize I'm dreaming. I remember my goal of summoning my dream guide again so I reach back and feel her hand. I pull her forward and it's her! Man, I always forget how tall she is. She is at least 6'2". this time she has natural looking red hair and normal clothes, no witch hat. We greet each other and she asks If it's time for another dream magic lesson. I say yes and get excited to see what I'm going to learn today. She grabs my hand and guides me into one of the near high-rises and up the stairs. Maybe on the 4th floor we come to a room which she unlocks and opens. It is moodily lit inside and there are shelves full of colorful bottles. In the middle of the room there is a cauldron and, behind that, a table with stuff for making potions. "Time to learn how to make potions." She says and starts getting things ready. I ask what kind of potions are we going to be making? Lucidity potions? Super Strength Potions? LSD?" I get pretty excited and the dream starts to blur. She starts to explain but I wake up.

I'm waking up a lot last few nights. So I thought maybe I'll get a lucid out of it.

I'm in something looking like a doctors office. But less formal. Maybe like some people getting together and one of them would do procedures. Like a tupperware party or something.

Some people are half naked. Person who does the procedures is kinda looking at me, if I want it done as well. But I'm just waiting for someone.

I look in the large mirror. I'm wearing a black t-shirt. I look at my face closely and I'm surprised that I don't see eyes. Then I look closer and I see that they are shut tight. I wonder how I see with eyes closed. I open them and I can see the same clear. That's when I become lucid. I look at the person and I'm thinking if I should go with the dream plot or do something else. I kinda want to see where will the dream take it next. As I'm thinking that, I feel my lucidity slipping and I wish it didn't.

I've been trying to became lucid after last Wednesday, but these last days I've only recalled one or two normal dreams/night. Until today, when I finally became lucid. I got two normal dreams and three LDs. One dream was both. I also succeeded in a TOTM, the basic one about complimenting a DC. Here are my dreams:

Normal dream 1: I am cycling in my neighbourhood. I'm using my phone to watch YouTube videos at the same time. I don't remember what I was watching. There is a forest by the road. I see boys my age/older. I cycle the same route over and over again. The dream is foggy?? and I can't remember it fully.

Normal dream 2: I can't remember the start of the dream fully, but I was in some kind of ship and was in danger of bombs or something. We have to go to the deck or atleast somewhere up to escape the danger. I find my three cousins and my aunt from their room. The walls are red. I tell them that we need to go. My aunt and the oldest cousin come and my aunt is already rushing up. I tell my other younger cousins to hurry up. I'm scared of a bomb. They come and we go to the deck (different scene). I think that we're safe. We are in space/ a dark and purple void?? You can fall of easily, there's no fence or anything. It's hard to describe. I see another ship in the dark. I think we are going towards it. I realise that it's not safe after all, because that ship is our rival and whoever is commanding our ship wants to start fighting with it. The other ship has canyons. I almost go back inside to find a safer place. I don't want to fall into the void. I'm scared but calm myself by remindig that I can just wake up if something bad happens. I know it's a dream and became lucid.
Lucid dream 1 (DILD): I don't do a RC. I try to teleport to a safer place by closing my eyes and thinking of another place. First I think of my neighbourhood but decide that I don't want to go there and switch to my school. I wake up accidentally.

I stay still and imagine my school. Soon I'm inside a dream.
Lucid dream 2 (DEILD): I'm in the school yard. There are lots of people with dogs. I'm a little above them for some reason. In the dream I think that they are there because of a dream I just had, but it's not actually true. I remember wanting to compliment a DC because I have thought a lot about it when awake. I say (in Finnish) "Your dogs are nice and cute. Be proud of them." I said it to the crowd and not one DC. At first they didn't react at all and I became worried, but then they said "Thank you", as if they were just one DC. Then want to stabilize the dream. I forgot to do it in the beginning. I touch the ground (I'm not above the DCs anymore). It's sand. I take some of it and brush my hands against each other. The quality of the dream is kinda good, but not as great as last Wednesday. I wish it was better. I remember reading about how you are more likely to recall the dream in the morning if you try to remember things from the waking life. Or something like that. I remember my whole name. I try to remember things about last week, because a YouTuber had said it would be impossible in a dream. I remember that last week was the first free week after school ending and that I ate certain food. I don't think I could have remembered the food thing while awake... Then I look at the sky. Another Youtuber had said that it should look like a painting and I wanted to prove (to myself??) that my sky was normal. Well the sky isn't a painting but there's a message. It looks like it's written by hand. I'm afraid that it's something creepy. It's in English even though I speak Finnish. It said "Hey I'm the one reading your diary. -You" or something. It's clearly a direct message from my subconsciusness...It isn't as creepy as I thought it would be. Instead I find it super cool. The U in "You" was unfinished. I wake up.

I imagine the school again.
Lucid dream 3 (DEILD): I'm closer to the actual school than last dream. I'm flying. There's a stand and an old man. The stand is about a moth. It has a forest backround and pictures. I'm scared that it's something dangerous or creepy. The man shows me the moth. It's a green moth until you flip it and it's a blue btterfly. In the pictures it's only a blue moth. It's big. I don't fly away because I'm losing lucidity. The man convinces me that the moth is harmless and I let it fly to my chest. I don't control the dream enough and the dream unstabilizes. I wake up.

So those were my dreams last night. Now that I am awake I realised that the man in the last dream was in one of my nightmares... He had a stand (I hope it's the right word) in that dream too... That nightmare is in my DJ here if you're intrested. I need to talk to him next time I see him.

05.31.2018
02:40 AM

Eating Chocolate Cake (Lucid)

I am at a motel with my girlfriend and we heard banging of footsteps outside and go out to see whats going on. There is a huge swat team raiding on of the hotel rooms and a gun fight starting. I somehow have a gun now which I leave in a holster. I leave carefully with my girlfriend but we are stopped by some police officers and are taken to a table with a guy in a suit and tie for questions about how it went down. The strangeness of the situation makes me consider if it's a dream. This is enough to make me lucid even without RCing.

I start out by telling the suit guy that I have a gun and putting it on the table. I then tell him to stop and think because this is a dream. He asks how that is possible so I prove it to him by pinching his nose for him. He believes me. I then remember my goal which is to complete the basic task of the month: eat chocolate cake. I reach behind me a whip out a slice on a small plate. It is a basic chocolate cake, not the chocolate mousse kind I hoped for but I give it a try. It is really good anyways! I think about moving on to my next goal but then realize I should have a lot more cake than just one slice since its a dream. I look away and look back and there is a full chocolate cake on the table. I eat it half of it one handful at a time and leave the rest on the table.

Now, lets summon Juliana. I look and see the Millennium Falcon is around the corner though and run to that instead. Well that is interesting I think I want to explore that first. Maybe Juliana is in the cockpit anyways. I run in but loose some stability since the corridor leading to the cockipit is confusing. I loose most of lucidity and the next thing I know I am piloting the ship in 3d person like it's a video game. I am flying around a space station and docking with it. I wake up and know I have to write this dream down. I remember it pretty well but I feel close to the most tired I have ever been. It is 2:40 which means I am less than 3 hours into sleep. It takes me 20 minutes to wake up enough to fully type out notes on my phone and I fall asleep a couple times and I dream some more.

I am on a cruise ship with my girlfriend. There is a show with a mentalist who also is a motivational speaker. I am sitting up front and when I say one thing to a guy near me the mentalist stops and gives me a look to try and say that I am being rude. I think this makes me a little semi lucid because it just felt weird he would be so dramatic about it. I barely made any noise. My girlfriend and I are chosen to be in the show. We get strapped into a amusement ride with us on rotating seats at the end of a pendulum. We have to answer questions and based on those questions while the ride is spinning and the mentalist will be able to read our minds. The ride gets going and its really a lot of Gs. I like the ride but man it just keeps spinning us non stop while he asks us questions. I actually start to get dizzy which rides usually don't do to me. I can't even focus on his questions. I tell my girlfriend I am going to phase through the seats and fly away. She says something, alarmed. I start to fly out of the seat and wake up again.

I'm walking about in my studio, which is just a fancy name for my computer room with big TV home theater setup and consoles. I'm lost in thought thinking what to do. I have so much to do, but I feel stagnant. I have enrolled in so many courses online as well. I just couldn't decide what to do and am feeling a bit overwhelmed by all the stuff I set out to do. I stop for a moment and look around.

I notice that the room is completely empty. No home theater stuff, no couch, no computer table or chair. It's all completely empty. It occurs to me immediately I'm in a dream. However, I didn't feel like doing anything. I was feeling indifferent about the realization. I wanted to continue thinking about what I wanted to do. I tried jumping and immediately I started to float about as if there was no gravity. I continued being lost in thought just floating from one end of the room to the other and back again. It was calming to just float and think. I think to myself it would be cool if I can do this in waking.

I decide to get grounded again and place my feet on the floor and suddenly the room changes somewhat. It now becomes a bedroom, but not exactly like my bedroom. It's as if my bed and stuff had been moved into my studio. I look around. That was sort of cool. It was bit dim though without enough light coming in through the windows. It was nighttime. I turn on the lights and sit down on edge of my bed. I didn't feel motivated to do anything. I decide I'll go take a relaxing bath. There is a knock at the door, I reply with "you can come in." It was Kana. She comes in looking surprised to see our studio turned into a bedroom. There was that unmistakable radiance about her, this was not just a Kana dream character. I ask her how she was feeling. She looks at me and tilts her head "Hey, you are lucid..." I look away. I say "Maybe... anyway, I was thinking of taking a bath." She looks puzzled. "In a dream?" she asks. I get up and ask her playfully if she wants to join me. She gets all flustered replying "look who's all grown up now." Of course, I was teasing. Something Kana used to do all the time. The bathtub wasn't nearly big enough for two anyway and I didn't feel like manipulating the dream. Kana says she's gonna nap if I'm not going to do anything. I get up and get undressed and wrap myself in towel. Then I put on light music and place my phone in the basket in the bathroom. I fill up the bathtub and put in some bath salts. I get into the warm bath. It was relaxing. I listen to the music. I never heard the music before. I lean my head back looking at the ceiling wondering what I'm doing. I'm in a lucid dreaming, I can be doing anything else but I had no motivation. I could be hanging out with Kana, but she would realize I'm feeling troubled and I didn't want to worry her. I think about my online courses and which I should prioritize. I still haven't put our life back together since Kana passed away. I get lost in thought. I start to feel drowsy and the dream fades.

Hi,

They were short dreams, but I had 5 of them by chaining dreams. Following is a summary. I had been awake till 6AM and decided to sleep as I was starting to feel a bit drowsy. I get ready and lay down to meditate. I had apparently unintentionally preformed a WILD while meditating without having slept beforehand.

I felt fatigued and heavy as I try to get up from the bed. I knew spontaneously it was a dream. I have trouble opening my eyes fully to look around. I just feel my surroundings with my hands and feet. The heaviness subsides and I'm able to open my eyes to look around. I do reality check by looking at my hands and nose-pinch anyway just to make sure since it was a replica of my bedroom. The dream was still not clear as my REM dreams. Since it was Lucid Dream Day I decided to just explore my surroundings and interact with dream characters. I focus on stabilizing a bit more. I head out of my room and hear noises in the living room. I hear my nephews. They were watching TV. My mom was talking with my brother. On the TV the kids were watching Dragon Ball Super. I didn't recognize the scenes, but I look away as I didn't want to be distracted. I approach my mom to ask where Kana was. I have this tendency to go in search for my deceased SO whenever she's not there. I pause, this time I decided I'll just take in the dream as is and just explore. I ask mom if she's going out and she replies that she is going out a bit later with my brother and sis. She asks me if I want something. I say no and walk towards the balcony. I was resisting my temptation to ask for Kana. I look around wondering what to do in this dream. It's just a typical day. The dream starts to collapse and I let it go.

I stay still as the dream dissolves and chain a lucid dream.

I am outside on a street. It was night.This dream seemed a lot more vivid. A cool black car catches my eye. I decide to follow it thinking it'll get me somewhere interesting. No, I'm not a stalker. I try to follow close by, but I was starting to attract attention as I began to run on the sidewalk. I become invisible and disembodied thinking I'll materialize when the car has reached it's destination. The dream immediately collapses.

I chain yet another lucid dream.

I'm in a house. It was similar to my grandmother's house. I was by the living room and there were several books scattered about. I walk out the front door. Now it was different from my grandmother's place, there was no lawn or even a gate to the house. Instead there was a house with steps just outside. I think of asking Kana to come for a chat. I notice cat on the steps sleeping, it had white-gray fur. I decide to go pet it. The dream fades just as I approach it.

I was getting a bit frustrated at these unstable short dreams. At least it could have lasted till I pet the cat. I decide to try just one more time and chain another lucid dream.

This one was not very visual. I am in a lush park. I don't have enough coordination to walk, so I jump ahead to move. I keep holding on to stuff to stabilize. There is a bit of bounce to my jumps as if the gravity isn't that strong. I let go and decide to just go to sleep when I'm no longer able to feel the dream environment.

That's about it. Not very fulfilling. However, I had a very vivid lucid dream with my usual depth after sleeping and some non- lucid dreams.

Kana wakes me up. I get up on my bed thinking I actually woken up. I do reality checks even though Kana being there was enough. The tests fail. Its as if i am awake. I get tingly all over. I touch Kana's smiling face tearing up. I notice there was a radiance about her. I ask her if I was awake and still able to see her. She pokes my forehead playfully and says "Don't get ahead of yourself. You are not that intuitive yet. This is still a dream, but I'm keeping it stable for us." I look around confused resenting we are not "together" again. I got my hopes up. Kana takes hold my hand and presses gently. "You know, just because its still a dream doesn't mean you are settling for anything less. You humans still have a lot to learn about the dream state. Cheer up and lets do something fun! What do you wanna do?". I cling on to her with a hug and end up having a breakdown.

I get too emotional and wake up. I felt guilty. It must have took this enity who may or may not be my Kana lot of effort to keep the dream that stable and i messed it up. I was not sure if i wanted to share this dream because it was too personal, but here it is.