Recent DJ Posts

As if in response to my last entry, there was a couple nights I had a tough time talking to the voice. Her voice admitted to being distant and apologized. Lately we've both seemed to be mentally entertaining similar vices we have. Not physically at least, and I won't say what. Her voice asked for privacy in the matter. But last night we both seemed to agree that said vices threatens to keep us apart, and we are both addicted to the security of coming back together after mentally dipping our toes in danger.It's kind of like the couple that breaks up all the time to have make up sex. But it's not specifically that. Maybe it's a borderline thing, I dunno. I just hope IRL we can find better ways to keep the relationship exciting and safe. Having a stable relationship can be boring sometimes, but it's better for people like us in the long run

Dreams:

Fire

There was a tiny demon in Jamie's room laughing and setting fire to her room.

Jamie


Quick flash of me being on a dock at night. Jamie was there with me staring at me.

So in the dream, my mom had previously had a heart attack; me and the rest of my close family went to the hospital with her, and she ended up surviving. Later on she held a speech about something in front of a large crowd of people, I don't know what the speech was about. While holding the speech, she was shot straight through the heart; for some reason this wasn't instantly lethal and she was again taken to the hospital. She was told that she she only had a few months to live. She could leave the hospital and wasn't confined to any machines, but it was like cancer where you just suddenly die towards the end.

*What I wrote above was past memories in the dream and my dream kind of starts here*: Me and my extended family were at my grandparents house, it was a family gathering that was rather common. The mood was pretty depressing as everyone knew my mom only had a few months to live, so we tried to enjoy her company before she died. We tried not to mention her limited lifespan.

I left to go on a walk alone, as I needed to gather my thoughts. The area I was walking in was a wild grass-plain area with an abandoned bunker near it. It was a very calm and peaceful area that was easy to walk in. Suddenly my mom showed up out of nowhere, and I was pleasantly surprised to see her. She smiled and gave off a certain warmth that I can't describe.
We then started walking together while talking, it was very casual and it felt nice, but something seemed off. I forgot what we were talking about but I eventually realised it wasn't my mom, but someone disguised as her. Not with like a clothing/mask disguise, but like a transformation disguise. Suddenly the thing pretending to be my mom morphed and revealed itself to be the devil. He started tormenting me with everything that's wrong with me and taunted me with how my mom was going to die and that I would never see her again.
Then I woke up.

This will be a shorter entry. Had trouble sleeping lately due to shitty sleeping arrangements where I live. Apperently I was right. I had to call on Raven again to help with Jamie. She fought of some guy who looked like freddy kreuger. That seems in line with what I remember about someone wearing a large hat.

I had a couple non lucids that I can't remember.

Demons

Fell asleep talking to the Jamie voice... instead of the usual Jamie in a black space where the conversation continues. There's a big fat Demon pertending to be Jamie. I wake up and fall asleep again, this time it's a skinny demon, saying the things that apparently Jamie is saying. Well, great. And yes I have prayed obsessively about these voices. and of course "Jesus," responds as a voice in my head. That's always trustworthy! But according to Him, We may be hearing one another's thoughts. Be careful to speak to it however, other things may be listening... and also might respond. In either case I'll try my best not to respond overly emotionally to it, or take it "too," seriously. I like how, when I pray for Jamie, I occasionally hear a, "Thank you." from her, as if she somehow hears me. That's always re assuring (No sarcasm).

School

Me and Jamie are both attending a high-school together. A class or school has ended and I'm in a hallway by a bunch of lockers and a bunch of students are in my view. I notice Jamie talking to a blond girl pretty sternly. Jamie leaves the girl and walks through the crowd. she then takes my hand and we walk away. Before I turn, I notice the blond girl is giving me and Jamie some really evil side-eye. I guess I'm back with my girlfriend... or dream girlfriend. (please send help.)

Last night: Had a really long non lucid. No jamie. Can't remember what the dream was about. A bunch of people in a large warehouse or something, and I was also doing drywall work. Bleh, not really worth remembering anyway.

Cold has finally started to go away, Yay!

The other night. Asked for Raven's help again to break Jamie out of the jail thingy I dreamed about.

Shove

I'm walking in a crowded city I'm crossing a street. At the corner there is a tall display, displaying some advertisements and media. Someone nudges or shoves shoulder and keeps on walking. I see it's the back of Jamie walking away she kind of looked back at me for a second and kept walking. Well that was rude! Reminds me of Highschool, when people didn't like you, They'd "accidentally" shoulder shove you from behind.

Demon


Me and 3 other people are chasing a demon at night. It's short, pale, and has gremlin ears. We corner it in a car wrecker place. It vanishes and I see it's latent image down various rows. "It's slowing time." I tell everyone, "It's playing out every possible scenario we can throw at it." My memory fades after.

Speechless

I'm walking outside a bar in a small town. Street reminds me of the Didsbury bar stretch with two bars on opposite sides. I'm on the JD's side Jamie is standing outside by the door, and walking past nervously. Some other girl standing outside starts talking trash to me. I can't remember what she says. Jamie grabs me and pulls me close and tells the girl. "Robert is the sweetest, most patient and caring man I've ever known." the shock of hearing this wakes me up. If Jamie ever gave me a compliment like that IRL... I would die!

Last night

big house

False awakening, I'm in a large house and have to pee. There are various rooms and people all over. I can't find a bathroom so I go downstairs. I wake up for real of course.

bed

I'm sleeping in the same bed as Jamie, she is sitting up and I am lying down. She says to me, "Slip it on." Okay. Isn't it more like ,"Roll it on."? I woke up there.

Jamie's question

I see Jamie in the familiar black space, she is staring seriously at me and asks, "Are you having a relationship with me in your head?"

I don't even begin to know how to answer that. but I will try as truthfully as I can. If she means by in my head as in dreams? Thats already been stated. If she means by talking to a voice in my head that sounds like Jamie. Short answer: For the past two months or so, Yes. That's what her voice in my head has stated. I'll ask her voice, "But this is crazy! If I see and talk to Jamie IRL, am I to talk about this?" To which she will answer, "We are to discuss everything.". This is why i'd really like Jamie to talk to me, to get clarification. If I should be seeing a psychiatrist, I'd really like to know. I'd like to get past this stuff, with or without her. Do I believe it's really Jamie? I don't know. I've been stuck with this voice for the past several years. I've tried to pray it away so many times among other things. After a certain amount of time, It's now just a thing that is a part of my current existence that I live with. If one is to do a google search on: Hearing my twin flame's voice in my head. It will lead you to loads of Quora articles where people do indeed experience this phenomena. some of them confirming with their partners that: Yes both of them will experience something like a telepathic conversation in one another's heads. Now, what I want to know is why is Jamie asking this? One possibility is that: She reads my dreams journal and reads dream her is talking and acting like we are in a relationship, she's also read that I hear a voice like her in her head, She puts two and two together and decides to use dreams to ask me this question. or, She's asking because She experiences it too. So I could equally ask her the same question. In any case I would like this to be resolved soon because this is becoming a complicated mess. I will still try to be patient tho.

Spotty recall these past couple days, due to unusual sleep schedule at home.

Had a couple NLDS but can't remember the details.

Jamie dreams

1. A flash of her laying in bed, wearing a white bed dress. She's showing me something. I won't say what.

2. Me and Jamie are working at a Wal-Mart. But it's the overnight shift. Everyone gets the same half hour break on late night s so on our break I start walking to my car to eat and smoke. Jamie joins me while walking to my car and she asks if she could sit with me in my car.

3. While slightly dosing I had an HH image of Jamie encased in a strange device. She was in a glass orb and a giant wooden thing was connected to it which operated a door. An angel with large wings stood outside of it and operated the door. A man approached the glass, but he was really a lustful demon. Jamie saw the demon and began to get undressed for it. But it couldn't get it because the angel kept the door shut. Ok... Not sure what to make of that.

deleted

Type: WILD.
Lucidity: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Vividness: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Notes:
This was a brief false awakening that resulted from a non-WBTB WILD.

I was lying on my side in bed, and the bedroom was very dark. I rolled onto my back with an uncannily small amount of effort that made me feel weightless, and then, I saw a shadowed figure sitting beside me, looking down at me. It was so cloaked in shadow that I couldn't see any details including its face; all I could see was a dark, person-shaped entity. It unsettled me and I didn't want the dream to go in a nightmare direction, so I reached out to put my hand on its shoulder and casually said, "hey, how's it going?". It smiled, revealing a mouth full of teeth that were very long and ratlike. Its teeth were the only thing I could see within the darkness of its face, and while the smile didn't seem malicious, the teeth made me even more unsettled than before. Despite my discomfort, the dream still felt like it couldn't decide whether it wanted to become a nightmare or stay neutral. The dream ended.

NOTICE: this is my first dream journal entry upon returning to Dreamviews after an 11-year hiatus. All the dream journal entries earlier than this were published in 2012 and earlier, and will have markedly different writing quality and narrative style.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

During some teaching, my teacher is hanging out with his students outside. I can't talk to him, because he is surrounded. He then says he is going to a photo shop and have lunch. People go after him as a group, but only his closest entourage goes inside the shop with him. Everyone else stays outside sitting on the floor.
Then my name is called through an intercom but no one seems to hear it, but me. I don't know what I am supposed to do. So I go to the shop. At the entrance someone tells me to go around and I'll find out why I was called. I see a guy at the intercom. He tells me to wait. A door opens and my teacher appears, very blushed, making a sign for me to follow him. I go inside and it is not just some shop storage or backroom but a hallway with many other doors. He goes down some stairs and I notice something really odd going on. The staircase is very large and goes down very deep. I notice some strange characters and Illuminati type shit symbolism on the carvings and paintings on the walls. Clearly this is no ordinary photo shop. I feel like my teacher isn't really him and I say it out loud. Everything stops and the atmosphere changes. Around me I see ghosts and female demonesses. I am told to play along or else... I am afraid because I am stuck here. The creature posing as my teacher lets go of his mask and shows to be some demon, although pretty handsome, with a young Ethan Hawke's face. He asks me something (don't remember) and I say no. As a consequence, some weird monsters with soup face (I cant explain either, their face was simply a big ball of floating soup) come along and start biting me. I try to avoid them, but I can't outrun them, so then I have to fight. Inside the soup face there is a mouth with shark like teeth. They hurt like hell. I brake one's jaw and throw the other on the ground and step on it. Then try to convince the demon that I give up and I chose to play along. I say that I am sorry and I speak softly, trying to be convincing. Actually, it isn't hard, because he is so fit and yummy that it is no effort to try to seduce him. But he sees through my bullshit and tells me so. I chose to just stay quiet and not cooperate. I get ready to be torn apart by demons. I prefer to die like that than to make any sort of deal with them. But nothing happens. He just asks me to follow him again somewhere. He then takes me to some elevator and we exit back on the hallway area upstairs. He just takes me to the door I came through and lets me out. I can't believe it.
Then he is back into my teacher's form and waves at Ariadni, who gets up all excited. I yell to her "don't go, it's a trap". But no one seems to hear me or care for my opinion. Also, behind the door I see Fernanda, looking all fancy, smiling at her and inviting her in, saying it is perfectly fine and good. I recall that she always admitted to be willing to sell her soul to the devil if necessary, so it's no surprise she became the devil's assistant. The door shuts and I worry for Ariadni.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

On a hot air baloon with my boyfriend and another friend (not the same as in RL, I don't really know them). It crashes in the sea and we're rescued by sailors. They treat me ok, until the captain lusts for me and says he wants to possess me. My boyfriend does nothing and says nothing and I start loathing him. His friend also stays quiet, they just want to get out alive. I end up at home somehow with no recollection of all that happened in between.
At my old bedroom in my mom's house, trying to sleep. But the room is haunted! The furniture is moving to the middle of room, the drawers open by themselves. I go wake up my mom, she doesn't see anything, but she helps me put things in their place. Then she leaves and one of my dolls is possessed and starts making sounds. I gather my courage and confront the spirit and ask what they want. They say they want me. I dare them to appear. They do, they look androginous, sexy, remind me of Desire of the Endless, appearing both male and female. We have a long talk, they want me to sign a paper, I refuse. They say I'll be their sexual slave, wanting or not and they taunt me by describing what they'll do to me. I confess I start to feel a bit horny and decide to twist it and I seduce the demon instead. I expose my breasts and dare them to lick them. They do. I put aside my disgust when I see their long triangular shaped tongue and I get closer and kiss them. I caress their breasts too and then their dick, until I cause an erection and make them cum. I feel like I avoided the worst but then they say I'll be coming to live with them in some place underwater and show me it on a map. I say no. They laugh and say I have no choice as I am carrying their baby. I am confused. Then the captain who had rescued/kidnapped me before appears out of nowhere and they reveal he is an extension or avatar of the demon. They laugh and say they didn't need to impregnate me now because I am impregnated already. I say no way and I run to the bathroom. I know it is possible, I am trying to feel if I can feel it inside me growing. I want to abort, I also know they'll never allow it. I panic.

2022 May 2nd

Note to self, at this point I started recording dreams with year first, month second and day third, because as I was archiving dream notes from my old phone, I realised just how much of a mess day first was causing me and it was something I had not given any thought when I first started recording them in that way. In the future, it will be easier to maintain an organised record by using year first, as I already do for some other things.

Some in-line notes.


Dream (Fragmented):

I'm at my old bedroom. Dad is here visiting or something. For some reason, there are some sex toys out in my room and dad grabs them and piles them on top of an old computer desk I used to have in waking life. (The plastic "veneered" one)

Dad doesn't comment much of anything about the sex toys, but I feel embarrassed. He talks to me about something completely unrelated.

(recall gap)

I'm swimming out of a body of water into a stairwell. I can't see the bottom of the water and as I climb out of the water, I'm soaked and dripping. I don't feel cold or hot. My hair is somewhat long and I see it in front of me and feel water dripping off it. The place looks like a school of some kind.

I get up to the first mid-landing of these stairs and then climb some more steps up to a second landing. There are no more stairs after this point, as if they're missing, and so this landing just leads over back into the water again, from a higher point.

(The preceding segment was recalled while dreaming the next segment)

I'm in a field, walking along with two people. One of them is a local, the other someone I know (from the dream?). This field is strange, as it is made up of "strips" about one yard wide of specific plants, which all just seem rather wild and not at all cultivated, despite the organised strip logic going on.

As a result, there's a varied array of colours, ranging from a nearly blue-green to a dry yellow-green or maybe brown. The local man is slim and on the older side. He tells me something about how they have no choice and how this is all they can afford to do. I understand "they" as their people, as if I'm visiting somewhere that I'm foreign to.

Then, as we walk off the slightly sloped field area and starting down on a slightly steeper slope, I notice a small lizard, about a foot long counting the tail. Its on the side of a plant or a piece of dry/dead wood. It has a black scaled body interrupted by fluorescent yellow chevron stripes. The tail is flat and spiney, almost beaver-like.

Then we're walking into a road and I worry about traffic but it doesn't look like there's any, it looks kind of desolate or calm. It's day time, the sun is low but it's not sunset yet and it's half cloudy but it appears bright. There's a road for each direction and they're about twenty to thirty feet away from the other, one of them being on a lower bit, as this whole area is a sort of downwards-sloping cliff seaside cliff area, to the end of which we're walking towards.

As we get closer, even though the lowest point of the cliff is only about one yard up from sea level, I feel afraid I might drop or be pushed into the sea (on accident or otherwise). (It's at this point I recall the previous segment, I think the water must trigger the memory, though I don't think I "live" the memory in the dream at this point)

Then, I'm at a house that looks like old home. Some part of recall is missing, weirdly I seem to have slept on the sofa and it's as if I was really asleep in the dream, for a time. I grab something I'd apparently left on the sofa. I see the old man from before and say "morning" to him. I feel a little disoriented and think to myself that I didn't mean to fall asleep and yet I did somehow.

Then, I'm at an ALDI with H. We drove in in a sporty car. We pretend we're only friends and H says to a checkout person he has to get a massage coupon thing for his partner. The person at the checkout asks "what would she like?" and meanwhile I'm looking for three two-litre bottles of some soft drink, though I can only find one bottle. This ALDI feels more like a tiny service station shop and I think to myself we should have gone to our usual place. (This segment had something to do with the previous one, but I could not retain recall of what or how)

(recall gap)

Something about playing a game with a demon, and needing to do this to release an angel or something. The game doesn't make much sense at all and I can't think of how to describe it; in any case I struggle with this game in the dream. This takes place at some big/vast house, or some kind of palace.


Notes:

- Although I'd normally make this dream only visible to myself and DV contacts and so on, I feel that part of me has done that far too often of late, out of some sense of lack of confidence, an aspect I've been struggling with (again) in waking life.

- This entire dream was very peculiar. I feel I could make this remark about so many dreams. In particular however, this dream felt especially switched on in terms of symbolic representation. When recalling the dream, it feels like some part of me was aware of this. Everything about it feels organised and metaphorical in a deeper way than usual, though I think some of it may be inexpressible through words. The dream itself in parts felt like one of those dreams that feels just like life in the sense of "this is how things are, this is my life". This dream would benefit greatly from a fuller exploration on paper that is not constrained to words alone and that can make directed (lines/arrows) associative links between elements.

- I suspect that dad was representative of false expectations in some sense, because in the dream my embarrassment and the sex toy context were in fact irrelevant to our conversation about whatever else dad talked about. I am not certain what the significance of that desk specifically might be, but I must have been around 8 or 9 years of age when we had that desk, and the computer used communally with my siblings was on top of it, under one of the bunk beds.
-- In a sense, the sex toys are also likely representative of the other side of false expectation; what my mind or feelings give importance to often has nothing to do with how others are perceiving me and if anything, I end up being bound or imprisoned by my own false notions of what others think.
-- The other aspect to this is that family (represented by dad) are something that I keep entirely separate from sexual contexts as far as mental constructs go, I feel more so than most other people do, though that may be a result of upbringing; here, the two contexts meet but are essentially ignored by one another, as dad makes no remark and pays no mind, other than some sort of strange "tidying out of the way", and the toys themselves are inert objects that cannot on their own express anything except via context. This makes me think about how Jung defined libido as "psychic energy" as opposed to "sexual energy" as Freud probably did and it seems like the sex toys can also be representative of a transformation of my point of view on said energies. Again, I cannot fully form thoughts on this via text alone, this requires diagrammatic and drawn exploration that can show links and associations in a way that text can't.

- The flooded school bit was odd because of how vivid it felt in terms of sensations, regarding swimming and water. I don't remember any specific emotions, but the school was an unknown place that I've never visited and which only vaguely conformed to some constructs of schools, none of which I've ever encountered myself.

- I can't help but feel that I associate the encounters with water in this dream as being some kind of metaphor relating to collectives, more so than an unconsciousness. In a sense, the stairs were exactly about this; I can leave a collective but on the way up and out, there's actually no way out, and all I can see again is the collective, despite whatever other aspiration I might have had. There was a (somehow neutral) sense of hopelessness to this in the dream.

- The strange field feels like it was about my whole Self. The locals, i.e. my non-conscious elements, do their best to cultivate other non-conscious elements and so on (the plants) but they are constrained by what they can afford to do. I am not sure what "afford to do" could mean in a sense of personality. The land felt inhospitable to cultivation and taming, and perhaps these non-conscious elements actively taking part in growing and tending to things, are actually unwelcome by the rest of the unconscious landscape. I am checking in on them, but I seem to be there in a capacity that cannot act or make changes to the situation at present, and that any changes would have to be future, such as based on a report or the like.
-- In a sense, the plants felt very much foreign to the land as I did, even if the locals themselves just seemed... Well, local.

- Despite the small size, the lizard felt instantly appealing to look at, to be interested in. The black scaled body felt immediately relatable to what I have wanted to portray in my alter-ego for some time. The chevron striped pattern seemed unique to me. And in some sense I always find myself relating to reptiles though I have seldom spent time near them, perhaps because they have a tendency to run away from humans and to be solitary, which may be part of the appeal in itself. The lizard's tail appeared dangerous but as the lizard was most likely not aggressive, it seemed like an aspect of self-defence only. Curiously, I am now recalling that the lizard seemed to be in shade rather than in sunlight, and it's the only wild animal I recall seeing in the dream.

- The part with H at the service station ALDI definitely feels related to how perceptions are so based on physical appearances and how it's very difficult to move on from this, in cultural terms.

- The game with the demon felt like some kind of mix between Tetris, cards and other games of chance. I really can't describe it, especially for how little visual recall I have left of it. I just remember a somewhat dark and red-hued room, and a cloth-draped table.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

With a friend or brother and my supposed dad, staying at some old house for a night. I am sleeping in the same bed as my friend/brother and my dad is sleeping in an armchair in the living room. Something falls and wakes me up. Then the door opens up by itself. I wake up my dad and we see a radio turning itself on, then a closet door opening and some bag falling down from it. The house is apparently haunted and I ask dad if he can sleep with us in our room. He agress. I go back to the bed, but everything goes dark and I feel myself falling slowly down a black void. I can feel the bed cover but I can't see or hear anything. I call out for my family, but no sound comes out of my mouth. It's like sleep paralysis inside a dream. It takes me a while to get back to them. I ask if they saw me struggling and they say yes, but could not understand what was happening. There is some kind of plastic ball in the bed touching me and I throw it into the ground and smash it, scared about it. Someone who knows the house comes by and points to some items he says are haunted. We throw them away, but I feel like the haunting is everywhere. Some friend helps us take away some items for the trash, but later I visit her studio with my mom and she still has them there and I have a bad feeling about it. Two heavy wooden shelves fall down on her and other people, but I was keeping an eye on it and manage to hold them for a bit, saving them. Then something flies across the room and the floor is looking weird, like vibrating. I tell them to get out fast. The ground starts shaking, the walls open cracks. We head for the door and outside everything is apparently normal, nothing is shaking. But there is a road going downhill and I notice that some wster that is flowing on it is coming upwards, not going downwards. We all realize something is really really wrong with the objects from that house, like they are possessed by a strong demonic presence.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

At a future scenario that feels a lot like a Myizaki's movie. We have colonies in distant planets but there are also vintage looking people and cities on Earth. One of those planets looks similar to one I know from a sci-fi book I read as a kid. It has big whale like animals that swim in the atmosphere. For some reason a rebel faction starts a war and someone shoots at these animals accidentally. This plays on the news and everyone is shocked.
This rebel group turned ludite and wants to destroy our civilization, but everyone else is pacifist and doesn't want this war at all.
I am on this planet and I receive a notification that we're in danger and we need to gather at a sports stadium nearby that also doubles down as an evacution site. People sit on floating cocoons that serve as private balconies to watch the games, when there are sports events, but which are also emergency pods that can close and leave the planet to one of our colonies on other planets. While we wait for developments, they keep us entertained by projecting holographically a game that happened on some previous occasion. It is undistinguishable from reality. One of the persons in our coccoon is a kid that lived with the ludites but is pacifist so he left them. He doesn't know our tech, so he keeps asking questions. He asks how do we distingiuish something real from an hologram. I explain it isn't easy and it is almost like telling th difference between a dream and waking life, some people just have that ability and others have to train to recognize it. I am one of those with the natural ability. I also have heightened senses and can hear what other people can't. And as I say this, I do hear something dangerous approaching. I warn others and we fly the coccoons above the stadium and see a fleet of rebels attacking one of our ships and coming towards the stadium. Luckily there are guardian drones that sit on the perifery and shoot anything getting too close. But any way, our pods close and take off immediately. The drones recognize our pods and don't shoot us, instead they make a formation to protect us from any incoming threat and clear a path so we can leave the planet safely.

With my dad's family side and my mom, all gathered at some house. It looks like my grandma's house but it is also different. The kitchen looks pretty much unaltered, but in the place of the pantry, there is a cabinet with a TV and a VCR and I am rewinding some tapes looking for some shows I supposedly recorded, but I can't find them. My uncle Fernando comes in and tells me to quit. My two aunts are sitting there, just observing me and say to him that this is important to me. But eventually I give up and we all gather in a living room. It looks like the dining and living room of my grandma's together, but on the wrong side of the hallway. People are all sitting around the room on chairs and sofas sitting against the walls. My cousin Cris is also there, but so are other people I never met. I feel like my current self, but I am myself as a kid and I am on the floor playing with dolls. I think my mom told the family that I am autistic, so they are all observing me and not asking me questions or mocking me as usual. But I also find strange that they don't ask any questions about the autism. I also brought my present cats along, so then I freak out when I notice someone leaving a window open. I go around checking all the windows and asking people to please keep the windows shut. I then spot a cat, that could be Ginga but looks different, jumping to a ledge of a window through which some family member is talking to someone outside. Fortunately the cat is wearing a vest and I manage to grab her by the vest on time and pull her back in. Then back in the living room by uncle Carlos also keeps a window just slightly open and I explain to him the cats can still escape through there and he gets pissed when I close it. Then I do another tour and check the bathroom. All is fine.
My mom then comes by and says they are announcing on the news that the Health Minister is dead with covid19 and I am shocked. But my mom is even more shocked and I wonder if this will get her to finally go vaccinate.
Then I follow an unknown lady going to a balcony on the back of the house, where I believe she is going to smoke and certainly open a window. Actually when we arrive there, the window is already open. I take a peak outside, we are strangely located on like a 10th floor and I see on a roof down below a black cat and a black and white cat which I can't tell if they are dead or alive. The black one looks like Cuscus, so I call for him and he gets up. Both cats are alive but stuck on that roof. He immediately tries to jump up, but it's too high, so I wonder what is he doing. Then I see there is a metal structure on the wall for putting little pots for plants and it forms some sort of ladder that is climbable. So he climbs it and when he is close enough he jumps into my arms. The other cat also managed to get out of the roof in the meantime. So I take the black cat inside, not even yet sure if it is Cuscus, but I go look if there is another black cat in the house just to be sure. Then confusion ensues when some other guest arrives bringing some 3 other cats. I lose count of the cats.

I tried to do a WILD. I focused on being aware as I fell sleep and almost immediately felt the rush of falling into sleep and the metallic noises of hypnagogia. When I open my dream eyes, I am in some scenario that looks like a hospital and I am meeting a friend who works there and another one who is being released or something. It feels like they are very familiar, like Riverstone and Nighthawk, but not looking like anyone I know and instead look like some american boys in their twenties. I also have a different look. And there is another girl in the group. I think the boys are a gay couple but I also love one of them. Anyway, once the one being discharged is with us, we all go walk down the street and I have kept my awareness all the way through, but just been watching everything unfold. The boy on the lead says something like "Where are we going?" or what is going on, and I use the chance to say that we are all dreaming and none of this is real. They react calmly and accepting. I suggest we just try to be mindful and rest in that awareness. So we all just sit on the floor and we meditate together. Whenever I feel the awareness fading, I focus on them and it really helps that they also look calm and focuse. I almost fall out of the dream a couple times, but I conjure some tokens with mantras and Buddha images and put them in front of us, saying we can look and touch them as a way to revive lucidity whenever it is starting to fail, and it works for some time, maybe more than I ever managed to stay lucid meditating. But eventually the dream fades and I feel my waking body. I don't move and I focus on getting back. I do go back but this time I land on a beach in what seems like ancient Mexico. There are some native ladies in their long skirts tending to some bonfires. I try to get back to my friends, but all that happens is that, like a mirage, a wall and a room within a room, appear to my right, where I can see the place we had just been sitting together, but I don't see them. I try to teleport there by just snapping my fingers and for a few seconds it works, but then I fall back to the beach. Tried again, wemt there a few more seconds and then fell bavk to the beach and the image of the wall and rooms disappear entirely and I can't seem able to summom it anymore. Then some kind of demon appears on the beach from behind the bonfires. It looks like an old womam with crazy hair walking on all fours and all the native ladies run away in fear. But the demon is after me. First I hide behind some shelter made with twigs sticking out from a pit in the sand. But she will eventually find me, so I decide to fight back instead. I fly a bit above the ground and wait for her to come. She has a kind of ax made of bones and I hope to snatch it from her and use it against her, but when we clash, in the middle of the struggle I just grab something else and hit her with it. Not sure what happened to the demon, because she dissapears and in her place come dozens of cave men figures running from all directions. Again I the mirage of wall with a door and I manage to cross it, landing on some backroom shit kind of place. that I feel I've seen before. It actually looks like a really nice office, but I sense a dark presence and know this is not a safe place. I try to cross it quickly, but all it's doors and windows just lead to more rooms. Until I spot a window to outside and focus strongly on it staying that way as I open it. And it does and I manage to reach the outside. Then I enter some normal dream in the time of Portuguese King Carlos I and the story is that he went on a balloon trip and had an accident due to bad weather and is lost in the countryside for 8 days until he gets back .

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP


A friend brings me a newspaper article where my name is mentioned in the title. I try to understand what it is about and who wrote it. Can't recognize the name, but I think it is of a friend of a friend to whom I told a story. I feel pissed that this person used my name and described me without my permission. But the story is good and actually supposed to praise me for my decision about something.

Somehow I come to a room where my teacher is laying on a bed unconscious, or maybe asleep. I kneel by his side and put a hand on his chest. He wakes up slowly and sees me by his side. I caress him a bit and he slowly caresses me back. He smiles and he is happy to see me. He gets up really hungry. Some monk and some other girl from the Sangha are also around and they guide him to the kitchen table. As we wait for food, he grabs the newspaper and sees my name in it. He tries to read the article but its in Portuguese. I tell him the story. It's about a lady in the Sangha who is married to a guy she doesn't love and she discovers he has a secret room. One day he is out and she grabs the key and enters the room and then the story goes on but I don't recall.

Meet Gabriel who is some kind of angel. Something important happened and he appeared. Then some person I am with sees the ghost of some lady on a window who tries to talk to her. Something about Deuteronomy. I tell Gabriel I also saw her and then things get stranger. The lady gets possessed, but only I can see and hear the demonic sounds and horrible faces coming from that person. I show it to my mom who gets terrified, so she can see it to. The I show it to my grandma who holds my hand as asks something banal as if she didn't notice anything.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Someone trying to kill me. Can't recall details.

At what appears to be some back offices of some warehouse. Some lady and her daughter went in there as customers wanting to complain of something. I am alone in an office with them. They turn into some kind of mutant aligator-mouth canibals and want to eat me and someone else who just came in. The younger lady catches the other guy and kills him and I am trying to escape the older lady, but the exit is blocked by the corpse of the other man being eaten and I am stuck, climbing shelves and throwing things at her. She manages to bite my hand and it is really painful. But I hit her with something and escape. Manage to hold on to some ropes or cables from the ceiling and try to escape through the false ceiling, but get entangled in the cables. she keeps tying to reach me and sometimes manages to take a painful bite in an arm or leg. I hold on for dear life and then 3 unlucky guys from some next door offices come by and they attack them instead, giving me time to escape. I lock the door behind me, but then feel sorry for the poor guys and unlock it again, to offer them a chance to escape, even knowing that also gives the monsters a chance to kill more. As I escape down a hallway that has a wide window view to that room, I see them laying the 3 dead man in line and ripping flesh from their limbs, all happy like kids with new toys.

I am at my mom's house, at my old bedroom, looking at my closet for some clothes to wear and suddenly I have to run away as some crazy serial killer is in the house and tries to kill me. I take the elevator and decide to hide in the tiny compartment that exists under the stairs at the ground floor. If he doesn't know the building, he won't even look at it. Unfortunately this killer has some kind of sixth sense of super hearing. He comes across someone at the entrance lobby and they say good morning or whatever and in that meantime I breathe a bit deeper and he looks back and sees the door and instinctively knows I am in there. When that other person leaves, he grabs me and then I blank. When I wake up somewhere else, turns out he is the devil, but a sexy devil. And with him are two ladies looking like prostitutes with goat legs and hoofs. He has sex with both of them and somehow I get involved and feel him penetrate me. I confess it was actually hot and pleasurable, but I don't want to turn into one of his whores, so I try to escape again. We are in some kind of house in the middle of nowhere and I can't get out. He then tries to poison me and also the other ladies, because they actually saw me trying to escape and did nothing to stop me. He orders us to drink some pasty thing that tastes like hell. I hope it won't kill me for just putting it in my mouth, so I do but do not swallow. Then spit it out as soon as I can. He takes us to a giant bed but then it is no longer a closed bedroom but in the middle of a very populated place like a stadium and the bed is like a stage and everyone is in some concert/event. I mingle with the people and meet lots of familiar faces from my school years. Then there is a football game for old times sake and as it used to happen, nobody wants me on their team. But this time I kick balls (literally) and right away score a goal and then more. All the guys are kinda upset with me, even those in my own team, because they aren't playing shit and they feel embarassed. So they stop playing and leave. I then realize I was left alone with just some child and some guy and this place is now like a deserted building we are trapped in. Outside is a completely different planet and the atmosphere isn't breathable. Here we will die, so we decide to make a run to a spaceship parked a few dozen meters away from the building. The gravity and air pressure is the same as on Earth and the air isn't toxic but has very little oxygen and so we can only hold our breath or breathe it for a little while before passing out. We hold our breath and run for it but we collapse half way, just in time to see a ship approaching and a bunch of my friends coming out to rescue us.

3rd April 2021

Some in-line thoughts and notes.

Dream:

I am in a car with H. We are driving down a hilly area. I'm sitting facing the back of the car, but I'm in the copilot seat next to H who is at the driver's seat. The steering is not on the side it should be. It's sunny and I can see sharp shadows from the sunlight. H doesn't seem to b ewearing sunglasses or straining despite direct sunlight in his eyes.

Behind us, or in front of me, I see a teal van coming down the same road. As they get close I see through our windows it's an old man and his young daughter. They are somewhat playfully fighting over the wheel but it concerns me. It's not somethign to fool around with, I feel. And I fear they may collide with us as they are going past us.

There's a transition but I don't become aware of it in the dream. I am now walking towards a table which seems to be part of an esplanade on a plaza. It's in a tight spot between two buildings with white painted render.

H is sitting down at the table and I take the seat directly in front of him. Adjoining our table is another table. Sat to my right, is the girl from before. I try to tell her something about some dangers? And then, before I talk about the whole steering thing, H tells me not to bother and I realise at this point that I have no memory of the last few minutes.

I think I ask about what happened but don't get a clear answer and now the father is also coming back and sitting in front of his daughter at the table. We each have a meal, but oddly enough I don't pay any attention to mine.

Before all this. Me and H are in a town. It's dark and night time. Can't see too well except for some faint light at the edge of street light fall-off, away from where we are. We are going back to the car but H can't remember where it is exactly, but I did know exactly where it was. The car was like dad's car?

Before that, not sure what the place is anymore. Looking through a cabinet of some sort. There are drawing pads and other things. Me and H talk, they apparently belong to a childhood friend of his, called Tania. I ask what kind of things she drew? He tells me that when they played in the garden she would pretend to have superpowers she'd imagined/come up with and she drew some furry characters, in answer to my question. I vaguely recall seeing one or two drawings, focusing on faces and muzzles.

Fragment:

Before the other dream, before the first morning awakening. Something in a town, medieval-like but also old home like? There's a WoW feel. My old best friend, D is present in the dream somehow and we talk or something. There's something about T3 gear and tanking. I can't remember anything else but even writing about this made me feel nostalgic for some reason, not just for the game but for this friend too.

4th April 2021

Scraps and fragment:

Dream recall mostly faded and no notes taken. I remember at the end of one dream, I realised faintly that I was dreaming and so it was time to wake up or something. There was a hazard situation? But I'm not sure in what context now.

I had a very long dream sequence. In the dream I am in a dark land. I think it was brighter before, but it was night time and I am in some countryside area. In the distance I see burning towns and things like that. The path I am walking along is patrolled by demons accompanied by a dog-like creature on a chain lead. I am able to use some sort of invisibility ability, every twelve seconds or so. It lasts just long enough that I can hide in a corner and when they go past me, I use the ability to make sure they can't see me. I feel like there's some kind of spotlight on the three of us.

The dog senses me on some level but they leave and my invisibility fades and I move along. There are other patrols and so instead of continuing down this road going downhill I instead take an uphill fork in the road, which is narrower and seemingly goes unpatrolled. I don't feel any negative emotions, but I suppose I just feel neutral about everything.

Transition? I am at a town of some sort. It's seemingly the last surviving settlement in this area. At some point I see the settlement from an RTS-like point of view. There are many sub-cultures in this town, who are seemingly self-segregating in cultural terms. But I also remember going into shops and talking to people. Life seems normal and there is a modern feel to most things. There were many little plots involving interaction with others in this dream but I don't recall any in enough to detail to remember any of them fully.