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This nightmare happened 2 years ago, but it had such an impact on me that I decided to write about it. It also happened during a really stressful time of my life, which I've noticed is a pattern for my lucid dreams.

There's a few things in this nightmare that almost never happen in my other dreams/nightmares:

• I dream from multiple counsciousnesses/POVs
• I die multiple times
• I feel the pain that is induced
• I see what happens after death
• I possibly experienced Astral Travel and went to the Astral Plane
• I am aware of my past lives and how they died

The nightmare:
It is night. I think 9 - 11 pm. It starts with me being in the consciousness of a woman. I somehow know what I'm doing, what I am supposed to do, what my purpose is and who is my team. I know that I am in a secret group that is revolting against the government, which is supposed to be evil and corrupted. With a group of people, I am sent on a mission to enter a government building (which is highly secured by the authorities). As images of it flash through my mind, I know that we are highly equipped for this occasion. I'm also aware that we are dressed in a very late 90's/early 2000s dystopian sci-fi/tech style, and I think that's when i start becoming slightly lucid, because I remember thinking "Oh, we look like that movie from the real world, The Matrix", and feeling weird after thinking that. Like something isn't right. But I brush the feeling off since I have something very important to focus on.
Me amongst my teammates enter the building, each one of us going through a different entrance (it flashes through my mind again). We are looking for something, I think it was some documents or something to do with classified information. At one point, I see government agents entering the room I am in, running towards me. I run away, while alerting my teammates trough a mic I had. Now, we are all trying to escape the security, in order not to get killed. I enter an elevator and go to a different floor, thinking I'm safe. I get caught off guard when I exit the elevator, seeing a toddler-sized worm creature in front of me. It was staring at me (even though it had no eyes), drooling. It had a round mouth full of sharp teeth. I was frozen from fear. It jumps on me, and starts eating my abdomen, and biting and pulling out my intestines. It was very bloody and gory, and I completely felt all the pain that it caused me. It was pure agony, a type of pain I've never experienced before, and I just wanted it to end.
After the creature kept going for a short while, suddenly, everything stopped. My consciousness is now in the body of a different teammate (a man this time),and that's when I become lucid.

I realize that my consciousness transferred to another body because the woman I was before had died (due to the worm creature eating and ripping her intestines apart).
I am now highly stressed, knowing my teammate had died, and alert my teammates while finding a plan to run away. I am aware that the security is coming towards me, as I know where they are (having visions from my former body). This time, I don't take the elevator, going instead down some stairs. I enter a room where I meet my teammates. I tell them that our other teammate had died, and that we have to leave now. But I get caught off guard by the security entering the room. They run towards us. While a few of my teammates get to run away, they manage to catch the rest of us, including me. They stab me through my abdomen with a sawback machette. It is again very bloody and gory, very realistic, and I feel all the horrible pain as I watch, in pure shock, all the blood oozing out of my wound. This time, I can feel myself quickly dying, and as my vision fades, my only thought is "Damn it, I failed again. I can't fail the next time." (so I somehow knew that my consciousness would transfer to another body?).
Now, my consciousness is transferred to (again) another man, which is the supposed boss of the team. I am very panicked, being on the run. I am afraid that I won't be able to protect the rest of my teammates. And my fears came true. We had entered the elevator, going to the last floor, as we had planned to escape through the rooftop. When we exit the elevator, we get cornered by the security and their boss. I watch in horror as they kill all of my teammates, keeping me for their last kill (again, very gory, very realistic and bloody). I now realize that I am hopeless, and I have failed: all of my teammates are dead, our mission had failed, I was about to get killed, and there would be none of us left. The security boss and his agents are very calm, yet clear about their intentions. As I am cornered, I am forced to sit down on a bench behind me. The boss explains to me that he's going to kill me, and my consciousness would be transferred to an unknown person in the future. I am somehow slightly calm and accepting of my fate, only being worried about who I'll be in the future.
The boss gives me 2 options to die: I can cooperate and let him "peacefully" kill me, or fight back (but it would be way harder and more painful). I choose the "peaceful" option, as I do not wish to struggle anymore.
The boss puts a special glove on. It is very thick, made of copper and gold. At the fingertips are small little glowing dots. He slowly passes his hand through my knee (as if my knee was some sort of projection or transparent?), and while his hand passes trough my knee, I feel this indescribable pain, worse than any of the ones I've felt before. It's stabbing, and I can feel it in my skin, flesh and bones.
My vision slowly fades to this blue, bright galaxy.

I'm still lucid. In the dream, I somehow knew that I was in the Astral Plane. At this point, I know I died again, and I have no other body to go into, so I must travel to the future. I travel at the speed of light towards some place, so fast that my vision starts fading to white.

I then slowly open my eyes. AGain, I am still lucid. It is night again, and I am in some dystopian, riverside cyber city. I get a vision of me walking down the street. I am a young teenage girl, and next to me is my pet: a robot dog. I am thinking about all of my past lives and what happened to them, not forgetting my mission. I still have the same mission, but this time I'm completely alone: there's only me and my cyberdog. We are heading to some big corporate building, where I know some government member is having dinner. We enter the building, and head to the restaurant. I spot the person I'm looking for, indeed eating at a table, talking to some other elite. They seem to be having a serious conversation. I sit at a table close to theirs, and order some food.
As I wait for my food, I eavesdrop on their conversation: they're talking about a plan to stal all of the private information of citizens and implant spyware in their devices. Then they notice that I seem suspicious, since we were the only people in the whole restaurant, and I chose to sit so close to them. Hearing their remark, I go to the bathroom to prevent drawing more attention (but I later find out that I did quite the opposite). I look in the mirror, looking at my face, and the cold neon lighting. As I looked in my eyes, I was thinking to myself how weird and interesting this dream this is, and hoped that I'd dream of it again, so I could come back to this universe and continue my mission (so I was aware that the dream was gonna end, and I was aware that I had the power to end it).
I am suddenly aware that the elites called the cops, and I had to leave. I wasn't in a hurry, as I knew they weren't even there yet, but still didn't waste my time, as I didn't want to risk dying again.
I run out of the building, my cyberdog following me. We get out, and I suddenly have some weird type of electric roller skates (like in JSRF I think?). We climb on one of those utility poles, and skate away on the power line.

I remember feeling the wind on my skin, having this extreme sense of freedom I haven't experienced much times in my life, and enjoying the moment. I think I was in a pure trance, in ecstasy. And I decided that's how I wanted my nightmare/dream to end. And I ended it. I don't know how. I just ended it, and then I woke up.


Waking up and impact of the nightmare:
When I woke up, I could still feel the pain in my abdomen, intestines and knee (from being eaten alive, being stabbed, and then whatever that last death was). It was, again, this horrible pain I had never experienced before, just like in my nightmare. I was lucky that some ibuprofen got rid of the pain. I was also in deep shock, and the whole day, all I could think about was this nightmare.
This nightmare had left me in shock for a few days. Also, this happened during a time of my life where I was going through a lot of stress; I was severely depressed, in constant stress and anxiety, with undiagnosed and untreated ADHD, drank at least 2 monsters a day, and slept only max. 2 hrs a day (I would sometimes sleep only 40 mins, or none at all; I had to wake up at 5 am and take 8 hrs of classes every day).

During this time, I would almost never have dreams; but on the rare occasion I did have them, they were always gory, bloody, shocking nightmares. I think I was going insane: my mental and physical health was deteriorating, and my nightmares were a manifestation of my mental state.
This nightmare and another (which I'll write about later), were the ones to change me and make me get my life together. I think I was kinda traumatized by them lol, because I decided I NEVER wanted to experience something like them again. Ever since, I slowly fixed my sleeping schedule. I now get 8 - 10 hrs of sleep daily, and have been for a while.
Ever since, I haven't had a nightmare like that again, and I'm happy to say so.

But I still have questions: why did I feel the pain so well? Why did I still feel the pain after I woke up? Did I travel to the Astral Plane? Was it Astral Projection? Is it possible to return to that universe if I wanted to?
I don't know...

Non-lucid – Notes – lucid – Interpretation – wake/dream visuals/visions

2018-12-11 Biblical surgery and alien eviction leads through death to a search for stronger communication with my stomach, realised through talking to a white horse/camel.

This entry will be written in Danish as I intend to use it in therapy.

Drømmen starter med at jeg ser et opslag på Facebook. Dette er et som Casper Møller har delt og er et billede og en tekst af 1:1 revelations (kan ikke huske navnet) med en mand der ligger på en mellemting mellem en sarkofag og et operationsbord. Det har en meget stærkt tema om Lucifer, hans fald og periodiske genopstandelse før Jesus vender tilbage. Billedet er også en video og jeg klikker på den og en stemme går i gang med at læse teksten op.

Mens teksten læses op suges jeg ind I scenariet. Jeg bliver til en dæmonisk skikkelse, der ligner en klassisk grå alien fra diverse film. Det er mig der opererer på manden der ligger på bordet. Der er en forholdsvis ondskabsfuld stemning, som dog skifter I løbet af forløbet. På en eller anden måde stopper den her alien/jeg op og får ændret situationen og gennemfører ikke operationen. Faktisk kommer en anden alien ind I billedet og ser ud til at glæde sig til at deltage, men den første begynder at slå sig selv I stykker og på grund af et eller andet han har lavet på operationsbordet betyder det at den nye tilkommer også begynder at gå I stykker.

Dette får dem begge til at flygte. De flygter ud af lange og smukke gange, der er rødlige og har et royalt udseende, og mens de flygter ses der billeder af maget muskuløse mænd og kentauere der bliver vækket – på en eller anden måde med fornyet gejst på grund af rumvæsnernes flugt – og jager rumvæsnerne ud.

Scenariet skifter hurtigt til at se paladset udenfor. Det virker til at finde sted på en anden planet, men det er lyst og det ser meget æstetisk og majestætisk ud. Ud fra det sted hvor den lange gang ville være kommer nu et gylden sfærisk fartøj, som er rumvæsnernes. Det beskyder byen under det med nogle gyldne laser stråler, men besvares så rigeligt af byens blå laser stråler og forsvinder til sidst.

Der skippes.

Jeg ligger udenfor ved en svømmepøl, jeg ved blot at jeg ligger og der er en fornemmelse af at ting “stopper”. Dette finder sted et par gange. Vejret er grålig og det virker til at det trækker op til regn, selvom det har en sydlandsk feriestemning over sig. Der sidder fire mennesker foran mig, hvor en af dem er min mor. Muligvis min kusine, min far og en fjerde ubekendt. Min mor fortæller.

“Nåh, han er i gang med hans døds-process” og insinuerer at det bare skal have lov til at fortsætte.

Jeg er meget forvirret hver gang jeg vågner og det er svært helt at beskrive hvad der sker. Min bevidsthed fortætter ligesom og jeg føler mig stadig som mig selv, men det er som om der er noget der stopper og som om at det hele stivner til og jeg falder ind I mig selv.

Da det er ved at være overstået vender min mor sig imod mig og krammer mig, på en kvælende og klam måde, som gør at jeg bliver nødt til at skubbe hende væk. Hun spørger mig: “Du gennemgik din døds-process, det var meget spændende, hvor mange gange døde du?” hvortil jeg svarer “Det ved jeg ikke helt, måske 3-5”.

Da jeg svarer dette er vi nu indenfor I et hotel, med et meget ru gulv med små sten der har en gummiagtig karakter at gå på. Det hele er meget blåligt og jeg siger. “Jeg ved ikke helt hvor jeg er, det er enormt forvirrende det hele, det eneste jeg kan se er at jeg er I et blåt hotel, jeg aner ikke hvorfor eller hvor lang tid vi har været her.” Jeg kan ikke huske om min mor rent faktisk spørger mig om jeg kan huske mit værelsesnummer, men jeg siger I hvert fald “jeg bor på værelse 422”, hvortil min søster og mor griner en smule og en af dem siger: “Nej du bor på værelse 527”.

Jeg føler mig ikke stødt over deres latter, men finder en trappe jeg kan gå op af der kan tage mig til mit værelse. Den første trappe går ikke højt nok op, mens den anden faktisk går højt nok op og også indikerer at mit værelse ligger lige rundt om hjørnet. Problemet er blot at der er en glasplade der fungerer som et bord lige overfor trappen I hjørnet der blokkerer, eller I det mindste gør det enormt besværligt og måske endda lidt farligt, min vej. Endvidere når jeg kigger hen til venstre I retningen af mit værelse kan jeg se at vejen er spæret af en glasdør og bagved dem står der nogle lamper der indikerer at den vej er brugt som et hyggehjørne og vil gøre det hele endnu mere besværligt. Så jeg vælger i stedet at gå ned igen.

Jeg går udenfor og har min madras med som jeg normalt sover på. Den skal børstes af og det går op for mig at der er nogle eller en person(er) der ofte går over den og efterlader en masse sand på den, så den skal rystes. Jeg kan også mærke en smule irritation omkring det, men ved ikke helt hvem det er.

Herefter skifter scenen til at jeg nu ligger på min madras på mit værelse I hovedgård, som det ser ud. Kaiseren – eller I hvert fald en mørk skikkelse med hans energi – kommer ind og giver mig en dåse danskvand. Jeg åbner den og begynder ivrigt at drikke da jeg er super tørstig. Kaiseren siger “Pas på med at drikke for meget, det kan være giftigt”. Jeg drikker – lidt trodsigt – halvdelen af dåsen hurtigt, og sætter den fra mig og siger “Det gør ikke noget det gør ikke noget for mig det her” og kan mærke at jeg stadig er ekstremt tørstig og tør om munden.

Jeg hopper ud af sengen og går ud af en dør og befinder mig nu I en baggård. Der er en have-lignende stemning, det er lidt mørkt og der står en palme I midten af græsset. En ældre kvinde med kort krøllet gråt hår og store runde briller – mens jeg skriver dette kommer en tredje association ind – som minder om min Moster og Kirsten, min terapeut, men også en klient jeg har – Lotte.

Hun siger “Dennis du bliver nødt til at forbinde dig med din mave, den kan nok være lidt svær at komme I kontakt med fordi du putter så meget lort I den.” Jeg svarer: “Jamen det lyder mega fedt, jeg vil vildt gerne I mere kontakt med min mave” og tænker straks på de nylige spændinger, smerter og ukendte emotionelle påvirkninger jeg har oplevet.

Jeg begynder at blive lucid her da jeg begynder at kalde “Mave! Mave!” hvor den kvindelige figur stopper op og siger: “Du skal følge vinden, hvis du vil finde hvad du søger”. Hun får implicit fortalt at jeg blot skal finde den retning hvor der er direkte modvind hvis jeg vil etablere kontakt til min mave igen.

Jeg er vildt begejstret for dette trick og kan mærke at jeg kan bruge det I fremtidige drømme også. Jeg drejer mig rundt – imod uret – og finder ud af at der hvor vinden blæser mig lige I fjæset er der en lille sti imellem to bygninger der leder ud til vejen. Jeg begynder at gå derhen og ser en strandpromenade, som minder om den jeg har været på så mange gange I Thailand, og mens jeg går råber jeg “Mave!” gentagen.

Jeg ser en Raptor gå forbi udenfor og bliver en smule skeptisk. Jeg snupper en kort pause og fortsætter så. Nu kommer jeg ud og kan se ned på vejen – jer er pludselig I et hotelværelse – og der går en masse spændende mennesker, dyr og andre objekter jeg kunne interagere med dernede.

Jeg råber igen “Mave!” og ser til venstre, hvor der går en T-Rex, som jeg jo har historie med, og træder et skridt tilbage. Jeg står nu I et relativt lille og mørkt hotelværelse, foran vinduet der er firkantet og med klart sol lys skinnende igennem. Jeg beslutter mig for at hvis det er T-Rexen jeg skal snakke med for at komme I kontakt med min mave, så må det være sådan det er u-anset hvor bange jeg måtte være for det.

Så jeg træder ud på taget og ser pludselig at der er længere ned end jeg havde regnet med. Jeg bliver lidt bange for bare at hoppe ud I det, så sætter mig ned I lotus stilling indtil jeg begynder at svæve ned. Jeg kan mærke på vej derned at der er lidt meget fart på, det er nok til at hjertet lige slår et ekstra slag uden jeg er bange for at slå mig. Dog fornemmer jeg at jeg har mistet overblikket så meget at den vej jeg gerne ville ned på med de mange dyr og mennesker ikke vil være der, fordi jeg har mistet mit fokus. Jeg tænker dog også at det ikke vil gøre noget.

Da jeg endelig lander ser jeg at den vej jeg var på er væk. Den jeg står på er mindre befærdet og det er pludselig blevet nat, men det er faktisk stadig den samme strandpromenade. Jeg tænker at de nok skal gå og råber igen “Mave!” og spinner mellem 270 og 360 grader rundt om mig selv imod urets retning.

Her ser jeg en stor hvid hingst komme løbende og mens jeg råber “Mave!” begynder den at ride hen imod mig. Jeg spørger den om den er min mave og I det jeg gør det bliver den til en hvid kamel, med tre pukler, hvor den forreste af de 3 er delt I 2, selvom det ser sundt og raskt ud, som om den egentlig blot bærer en genetisk mutation der giver den denne tredje to-delte pukkel.

Den svarer at den er min mave og jeg knæler for den, hvilket den svarer med at lægge dens venstre hov på mit tredje øje. Derefter skifter den til at blive en venlig og varm 44-årig mand, med kort gråt hår. Jeg spørger “Hvad skal jeg gøre for at komme I bedre kontakt med dig” og han svarer “Din mormor kom til at trykke en lille knogle I stykker hernede (inde I højre hofteskål, hvor psoas løber) da du var 3 år gammel, det var ikke med vilje, men det kan man også se på billeder.” Der er en implicit besked der handler om at denne skade/traume ikke har været kendt og at noget kropsterapi kan have forværret det, men også at der ligger noget derfra der stadig rumsterer. Jeg svarer “Ah, jamen jeg har jo også fået scannet indersiden af mine hofter, så der vil man kunne se det?” han svarer “Jaaa, jooo.” med en tudelig intonering om at det ikke er helt rigtigt, men at det heller ikke er helt ved siden af.

Drømmen Ender og jeg vågner med en meget rolig, afslappet og rar fornemmelse I kroppen. Det var tidligt, men jeg stod op og fik mediteret med min mave som fokus, fik lavet yoga, danset og TRE og fik mig noget morgenmad og følte mig godt tilpas.

Non-lucid – Notes – lucid – Interpretation – wake/dream visuals/visions

I'm in my grandparents' house (my father's parents), yet somehow the house looks messed up and the rooms are bigger and contain strange tools...suddenly, I see my 2 cousins S&K in a trap by Jigsaw..they are hanged from their upper bodies and they have to get their hands in a device that will cut/crush them or in 30 second their legs will be cut....unfortunately, they lose and the device cut their legs...they fall on the floor n start spitting blood and then they die (sorry for being graphical, but it was even worse in the dream)
next scene...I'm in the bedroom (same house) and the furniture is the same as in real life this time..then my cousins are behind me, I say: how come you're alive???!! they say that this is a new episode so everyone lives again..
I was afraid Jigsaw would put me in a trap...but after what they said, I was a little relieved.

I had a dream about Andromeda (the series) where Dylan had a mission to escort someone on a planet. Seamus Zelazny Harper and someone else (another unknown engineer) were facing a special threat meanwhile, someone who had a lot of different people in his matrix. Actually Harper nearly died some years ago in an accident but this dude probably killed him himself while Harper was resting, uploaded him into his matrix and replicated a Harper to infiltrate the crew. Harper however managed to understand the Situation at some point and programmed a virus inside of his mind, and uploaded that virus into the dude during that mission. Thus he was able to take him over and sort of get himself resurrected. On the same Planet there was a spot of space (distorted physical laws) where Beka was fighting some sort of huge technical Pyramid with the Maru. Harper used his new (pretty advanced) space-proof body to save Beka out of space after the Maru got destroyed in a fight during the same mission.