I didn't meant to be gone for so long, but life hit me really hard toward the end of last summer and I was therefore already behind when school had started back up. I think things are finally at a point now where I can focus on dreaming again. 06.02.2015The End Cave (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID I'm in an incredibly large cave, though it does not look like one, camping with my mom, brother, and Cheyenne. There is a wide, rushing river cutting through the middle, with a forest on the side opposite from us. Near the forest is another family of campers. There is something terribly, terribly wrong with this cave. Cheyenne wakes up frantic in the middle of the night from a bad dream. In the dream, she saw Jesus standing on the other side of the river. He had no eyeballs and he was drowning little children in the river, one by one, like some perverse baptism. I decide that we need to leave this cave immediately. There is a terrible, heavy feeling in the air, practically suffocating in its intensity. We should not be here. We all run back outside through the small entrance. It feels so good to breathe outside air again! Outside, everything feels normal and calm once more. Unfortunately we've left all our belongings inside and my mom insists that we go back to get them. The sickening feeling returns at once upon our entrance. I feel physically ill, with an almost unbearable dread of some great unknown. I'm having to support Cheyenne to keep her from falling; she's barely conscious and not responsive. Just as we gather our things, a great howling comes to us from the other side of the river. A pack of coyotes emerge from the forest, though they appear as large as wolves. Half the pack surrounds the family on the other side of the river, the other half crosses over to us. We run, and despite my assurance that coyotes don't harm people, they begin to attack. I am bitten numerous times as I fight them back from the entrance while the others do everything they can to block it off. The entire time we can hear the other family's screams of agony as they are eaten alive by the pack.
Non-dream Dream Dream 1: I am house-sitting for my parents in their old house on Pam Ln. My wife is with me and we are sleeping in the master bedroom downstairs. The bedroom looks very similar to what I remember as a child except in addition to the sliding door out to the spa there is another very large window behind the bed. My wife wakes me up. It must be morning because we can see clearly out of the windows. She is very concerned because we see a coyote walking across the window by the spa and our cats our outside somewhere. I try banging on the window to scare it away but this doesn’t work. After this attempt I resort to tormenting the coyote. I am laughing at it, scratching on the walls, yelling at it, and talking shit on it because it can’t get inside. Suddenly it gets dark outside as if it were nighttime again and the coyote grows bigger. More coyotes are outside now and they are trying to get in. I regret my previous actions and I am now frightened. The coyotes are very intelligent and one of them is talking to me – it called me stupid. My wife and I move upstairs to my old bedroom, closing two doors behind us. We are almost certain that the coyotes will get inside of the house but we feel safe in this room. We realize that we will eventually have to face them when we leave the room and we are scared. Wake up. Dream 2: I am in a huge crossfit gym getting coached by coach D. There is some kind of tournament going on. I haven’t been to the gym in a very long time so coach D is designing a special workout for me. I begin with box jumps and he brings out a 12” box. I pride myself in being a great jumper so I tell him that for this exercise I want to use the same box everyone else is using. He brings out a 30” box and I am having a lot of trouble with it. It seems to be as tall as me and I have to use my hands to pull myself up onto the box. Embarrassed that I can’t do it, I call coach D over and ask for the shorter box. Then I move on to a 225lb deadlift and a few other exercises. Coach D and some other people are recruiting me for their football team but I decline. They want me to play the occasional cornerback by I say that in order for me to play I have to be one of their main options for quarterback and wide receiver because that’s what I’m used to. Soon after my workout I discover that there are hundreds of pigs lying around the gym. They are all dead, hairless and they appear to have been infected with something. I am completely grossed out. We all get white trash bags and go around throwing all of the pigs in the bags. I am now standing in a disgusting pool picking up the pigs. Coach D apologizes and explains that his pigs are breeding out of control and he can’t handle taking care of all of them – that’s why they died. The horrible pool of water that I am standing in contains a bunch of broken needles. Me and some other guy step on the needles and one goes very deep into my foot. I announce that I have been stabbed in the lymph node and it is very deep. The guy next to me says it will be fine and I reply “you don’t know as much about science as I do.” I have a strong feeling that it will give me cancer. I am not in the gym anymore and it looks like I am at someone’s apartment. I go through some weird scenes explaining what lymph nodes do. Basically if you leave stuff open then bad things like pollen and other irritants will get into the lymph nodes (?!?). Bill Murray is acting it all out. Bad things are attracted to me now and are trying to get me sick. Dream 3: I am in the parking lot at a golf course. Some guy comes up to me and begs me to play. He tells me that nobody is playing this course because there is some crazy guy roaming the course. He offers to pay for everything: green fees, golf balls, etc. I accept. We go into the pro shop and he purchases a couple of golf balls. I tell him that I’m not very good so I will probably need more than that. We head out to the course and the guy changes into my dad. The course is very difficult and the balls are cheap. They look and feel like balls of mud. I manage to birdie the first hole. On the second hole I out-drive my dad off the tee but he ends up winning. I got stuck in a sand trap that was impossible to get out of. One time I managed to hit the ball from the sand trap and hit the flag stick, but the ball just rolled back into the sand. I eventually realized that there were other holes IN the sand trap that were eligible. I go back to his house and he administers some strange medicine that makes me very sick but I get better later on.
[Saturday, September 15th, 2012] No dream recall- due to drinking, stoning, and overexhaustion after a night with Alex. :\ + (Taking a nap around 2:00PM) (At this time, I'm extremely relaxed from listening to binaural beats, meditating, stretching... almost to the point of being in a trance. I decide I'm too tired to read anything else, so I close out of my book at page 106. I face the speakers playing the binaural beats towards the bed and lie down. Then realizing that binaural beats won't work unless coming from different ears, I turn them off and just lie there. I lie there for what seems like awhile and my consciousness starts slipping. I can feel that I'm falling asleep in waves- and my mind will run off on a thought tangent and I'll stop myself before I totally FADE. But these tangents started becoming more real... and more in-depth. Slowly, the thought tangents were becoming mini-dreams. In the middle of each mini-dream, just like each tangent before, I would catch myself from falling asleep completely... by now stopping and thinking, "THIS IS A DREAM!". The first dream I remember was the Baby Coyote dream... there were more before that that I had become lucid in too, but I don't recall them.) Alex, Nathan, and I are driving down Saguaro Dr. in his Jeep. It's pretty dark outside, but the moonlight leaves a dim outline of the world for us to see. Approaching the turn in to my old home, we see something in the middle of the road. It's a baby coyote. I'm filled with love for this little creature, and I just want to get out and hold it and love on it. Even knowing the parents would probably still be around. After waiting too long, Nathan finally drives off, apparently less impressed than I was. The parent coyotes join the baby and start to walk up my driveway. We drive off a little ways and I say, "Go back! We can still go see them!" Nathan turns around and Alex points out that they are still around, just kind of waiting there. We turn around and head back to his house, Nathan uninterested, but wanting to drive by again for us. Suddenly I realize it's a dream and wake up. (I wake up with my eyes closed and fade back into another pretty fast.) <dream recall starts> I'm with Nathan, and it's around 3-4PM, the sun is shining and we're both in his Jeep driving down Saguaro Dr. We turn into his driveway, and I begin telling him about a dream I just had with us driving the Jeep right by a coyote on the road. Just as I speak my first sentence about it, a coyote sprints across the dirt driveway in front of us and runs into the desert. I... stammer, "Whoa whoa... whoa holy shit..." I look over at Nathan with wide bug-eyes to express my surprise and confusion. Coincidence happens. But I recognize when probability isn't at the right level. I explain, as he continues driving, that my dream had to have been telling me something or telling the future at the most. (Ironically, my subconscious was trying to make me lucid.) We pull up to his house, by his garage, and we start talking. Harley springs up out of nowhere and starts wagging his little tail like he always does. I think he came out of the garage door that isn't closed all the way. Nathan begins to close it just as I'm crawling under it. It's shaped in an almost alien fashion... and it closes as if it's an alien door with metal blinds... but it still comes dangerously close to crushing me. I'm gripped with slight panic as it pushes on my back... but then it stops. I crawl back out from underneath and seem to forget what just happened. Suddenly, the neighbors are calling out to us. I look up and see a small crowd by the next door house, a couple of girls waving at us. Nathan doesn't notice until I get him to look. I wave back with enthusiasm and continue talking to Nathan. I see Harley wag his tail, and notice he's tied with a thin red string to an unfamiliar vehicle where Nathan's Jeep was JUST parked. It's a maroon old-fashioned-esque car. It must be those neighbors or something. Suddenly they walk up from the driveway. It's a soccer-mom and her girls. She talks to Nathan as if he knows her. <memory> Before she leaves, she mentions something to ME about there being a scheduled "thing" and to not forget. The lady then gets into the maroon car and pulls out with her family. I watch them drive off, me being in the yard closer to the tree. I realize I'm dreaming and wake up. (This time I wake up and decide to try something. The last few dreams were confusing me immensely, but I've gained the ability to "feel" if it's a dream or not. Being semi-awake again, and grounded in my bed, I begin to visualize until I feel I'm ready to induce sleep paralysis. My eyes still closed, I think, "Induce sleeping state, NOW!" or "Induce that state [that I'm thinking about]... NOW!" something to that effect... My whole body begins to vibrate and I can feel that I'm on the edge of sleep paralysis, but not quite there. I set to work immediately. I began to visualize me being in the middle of a bunch of different scenes, and adding movement for added immersion. The first was a mall... I could hear the people talking... dragging their feet on the ground... but no visuals. I tried other scene's, none really getting me into a lucid dream. Just triggering new thought tangents. I tried again, this time, it was more specific: I was in the mall, but on a fountain's steps lying down. I could feel the sandstone... hear the water trickling and splashing... feel the cool air... I tried adding movement by rocking back and forth... I rolled off the steps and began to fall into nothing. I open my eyes, and I'm back in my room again. But on the floor... I rise up and see an exact replica of myself sprawled out on the bed... on my back, hugging a pillow to my chest, a blanket's corner covering my eyes. I get so excited that my heart races and I look around the room one last time before my... experience... ends. I my Grandma's the old pendulum wall-clock with the time of 12:30 on the dot. (The clock is a few hours off of real time.) My experience ends and I open my eyes and take the blanket off my face. The clock says 12:31. (It's around 5:30PM when all of this ends.)