All DJ Entries

15 Jan

WBTB, reviewed goals, recall prior to that quite poor. Late dinner is not a good idea.

I'm at a non-existent apartment with bf. We are getting ready to go to bed on time when his friends come and stay for a while, making it impossible to do so. I am upset, smash a potato on the floor and then decide to leave - go to my old place to sleep.

As I go out on the streets my awareness increases and I realize that I'm dreaming. My thinking is still clouded. I recall I forgot the keys in the previous place, but conclude there is no need to worry about that because I can just summon them. I try to take off flying with some initial difficulty launching. I briefly contemplate that I have been using this sort of flying in my dreams lately - slightly pushing towards the ground, something like a jump launch and then superman style.

I am quickly gaining altitude, trying to orient myself above what I consider to be my home town. The scenery changes with lots of unknown streets and gets extremely cold. I feel the cold is hampering me from flying properly, the snow and people on the ground become a distraction. I decide to land in a snow-covered yard.

My awareness diminishes as I go to inspect what's ahead. In the building ahead is an administrative refugee help center. Looks like it was founded a long time ago, there are 4 traditional Chinese characters on the wall. The place has gotten a lot of attention from the locals with journalists and a few unknown celebrities waiting to go inside. I excuse myself, remembering that I was originally headed home and leave.

As I walk down the streets I see the stadium and know I should be near. I choose a shortcut by climbing a few buildings. As I climb this weirdly looking structure, with lots of metal shaped in strange forms, my awareness increases again. Finally I reach the top of the structure, which faces a well supervised office. I don't think passing through should be a big issue as I can technically go as I please. I sneak in and look for the door out. There are several doors, one of them has a female security guard talking to another DC. No matter which door I chose, she is going to notice me. Oh, well that doesn't really matter, does it? I decide to ignore all that and just exit the building. I know the DC has seen me. I know she finds this weird and would probably want to go after me. But I intend that she does not. She just looks at me and ignores me. At the same time, a feeling of regret overtakes me. I feel I have ruined this scenario by meddling with the natural course of events and now the story feels incomplete.

Memory gap. I find myself at my old place. There's a minor leftover of awareness upon looking at the weird balcony and room being merged. The dream takes over my consciousness. I hear squeaks and other noises coming from the neighbours and see the neighbour kid playing on the balcony. He hasn't grown up at all, I think. Couple of minutes later, as if it's a game, he jumps off the balcony and hits the ground. I am terrified as I see his imminent death but even though he seems injured, he gets up and hurries into the building. I call his grandma (DS) to make sure he gets an examination as soon as possible.

Well.

In waking life, I generally have neat handwriting. However, when writing in my dream journal in the middle of the night, I write messily. This time, it was largely illegible. I really need to fix that.

Slept about 7.5 hours last night.

Dream 1:

During my hypnagogic imagery (so WILD I believe), I very quickly became lucid! I was standing in a green field. The dream was a bit hazy, and I forgot to demand clarity. I remembered my first goal for the three-step thingy, to use technology. I figured I'd use an iPad, and made one appear in my hands. For some reason, my hazy brain decided to use Numbers, and a spreadsheet appeared. Then I figured that that was pretty boring, and tried to boot up a racing game. I was able to play it for a few seconds, and then the dream faded and I woke up.

I wrote down some non-lucid dream fragments, but they were so messy that I can't read them. :/ Due to a lack of recall, I will only count the 2 that I can actually read:

Dream (Fragment) 2:
I saw the Dark Mark, or something similar, on a piece of paper. I don't remember anything else.

Dream (Fragment) 3:
My family had gotten cast out of...civilization? Our hometown? Can't remember, but I think it was out of some sort of fictional civilization that we had been living in. We were placed out into the bitter cold. And someone got bitten by something.

In a dark and foul tavern, many people dressed wretchedly are eating foul smelling dishes of food. They look animalistic in my eyes,
and all seem to have lots of facial hair. There is a thin mist in the tavern of either cold or cooking smoke from the fire, it is unpleasant and damp. We are being offered to sit and join these people for food but are repelled, one even begins to be sick from copious amounts of ale. Evidently not a five star establishment, we leave.

I guess there is a lot that disgusts me about myself and I try to hide from, and be higher than, but it is still there, part of me.

Lots of syncs corresponding to something in my dream, so I don't know whether it also symbolises something else, probably

D1 - I am at my parents house all is dark, its a wintry morning. I'm wearing a quilted jacket and am in their kitchen then locking up before I go out. I am scared of something unseen a presence/feeling. I double back and check they are a sleep. They're door is closed signifiying they are still a sleep.
I take a small steel key to lock the back door, I feel the cold of the key against my fingers and fiddle with the lock, checking and re-checking. This action is slowly waking me up in the dream. As I feel vague stirrings of my consciousness, as if a mist is lifting or becoming less foggy headed.
Outside the ground is frozen with a light snow. In the distance I can see children surrounding two cats that appear to be fighting.
I preceive that the childtren are in some way encouraging or in some way to blame for the fighting.
The cats are jumping into the air as they fly at each other.
Two of the children walk in my direction, I am scared and angry at the same time.
I finally realise it is a dream, and say to myself are i'm dreaming. I wonder what to do and can think of nothing except to release my pent up emotion by kicking one of the children up the butt.
The other child has a funny blue and white, thick woolen jumper and matching woolley hat. He has long fair hair and looks on bemusedly.
I remember that I need to stabalise and rub my hands frantically together but then I wake up.

[Comment]
The action of touching the key in the dream clearly triggered my surfacing from the normal dream state.

D2 - Long dream where I am working with another teacher in a large lecture threatre, preparing stuff for later. I am interrupted by a manager who askes where a painting has gone missing. I pretend to look for it, in the hope she'll go away.
Similarly, I try and escape from an office later on some pretext or other in the hope of not being found out.

I was in my current home, mostly correctly rebuild in my dream as well. One of the most notable differences was the fact my apartment was on the wrong side of the house. In the beginning my wife and my best friend were there, we were in the staircase I think. We talked about something I guess but I don't remember well.
The point from which I remember the dream well was when I was lying on my bed, looking at the screen of my PC across the room. It suddenly had a blue screen and then a really weird boot screen, like it would be possible and even reasonable for a boot screen to look like that, but I know none that actually does.
I kind of had a sync of the blue screen on my smartphone too, there I saw something that didn't fit in there. Oddly enough I can't seem to chronologically order these events correctly either.
Also I suddenly had a perfect copy of my smartphone, on in each hand. I swiped in my complicated unlock pattern, but I didn't copy it correctly, rather I mirrored it. Both phones unlocked.

At this point I had a smile as the fact I was dreaming had undeniably dawned on me. A nose-pinch RC confirmed that.
I didn't pay any attention to the fact I was apparently only wearing underwear and went outside (that whole getting lucid in a dream and going outside thing seems to become a thing in my dreams nowadays), it snowed and it was pretty cold. I, walking around with hardly any clothes, felt that cold in a somewhat realistic, however not unpleasant manner. After some time I got used to it and didn't really feel any cold anymore either.
I spent most of the time walking around my neighborhood, which also was mostly correctly, all the while looking at my hands and turning them into lizard type hands, scales and stuff. It worked out pretty well too. The last thing I remember that sometime in between I shouted something out into the dream which seemed to help stabilize it.

Eventually I woke up, or rather I had a false awakening. It seemed like I was in the same home that this dream had build, or mostly similar anyway, and my wife was beside me too.
I shouted the same thing and startled her, and stupidly didn't realize I was still dreaming. Had I realized it I probably could've gone on a bit, but alas I woke up shortly after.

So I'm sick (yeah, again...) so my recall is tanking.

There was snow, horse-pulled carriages, fur coat and a busy old city.

D1 - There was a creature that did not need human comforts, it moved out of the house where it had been as a human. It now lived in a hollowed out tree, surviving on things left on the tree floor. It was very cold and dark but it did not care. It just existed. Children came to the tree and it did not mind or pay them attention.
It went to work and carried out its duties with minimal interaction with others their and was able to dupe them into thinking it was a human.
The creature reminded me of the groak from the moomins.


D2 - At college sitting outside with a group of others, a girl is tuning up her guitar. A string is broken. It is a steel length with barbs on it. I offer to fix it and use my powers to melt and then stretch it back to normal.

D3 - Taking my daughter (when little) to a cinema to see a film. The cinema is on two floors and is very stark, qrey concrete walls. I buy tickets only to find the picture is not on, as the projector is not working. People are occupying themselves by eating in an upstairs resteraunt or drawing on the large screen with is not in use.
Eventually the film is back on but it is not the right film, no one cares as it is a children's film and pretty much the same. But I know my daughter will care and try to get a refund. I cannot however find my receipt or remember if I did infact purchase a ticket.

D4 - Some of the college students from the earlier dream are having a car race, the car is multicoloured with slogans all over it, mostly green thougth. We are in last place with the other cars infront bunched up. I use my powers to fix the car in time to speed ahead and win at the last moment.
In the student bar after their is a guy who was on the other team. I am concerned he will pick a fight with our team leader, so I invite him to sit with me at a table, away from the others. I then will be able to use my powers on him if he tries anything.
I ask fi who is there if she will hold my hand, I use my powers and when we hold hands it does a glowy red thing.

[comments]
I feel I have been living a life with no joy. Fairly bleak like the groak.

So much music references

I'm in a university with a friend. We have to take shelter in the gym, as there is a risk of flood or hurricane, I'm not sure which one. The light is muted and grey, there is big windows all around the building* and we're sitting on long plastic benches. I'm cold, probably because I'm only wearing a tank top and jeans, without shoes or socks. The crowd's conversation is a white noise, my friend is checking her phone but the service is spotty, probably because of the storm. I can hear wind, which make me feel even colder. I get glimpse of a dark haired man, on a screen**. Another man, with long, white-blond hair, come and sit next to me, wrapping his arm around me to warm me up. He feels familiar***, and I'm more that happy to snuggle against him. He doesn't seem to mind my cold hands and keep me close, with a knowing smile.

*I sort of feel like this isn't a good idea to take shelter next to big windows in case of hurricane but why not...
** Eli told me that he "peeked" in my dream, but he thought that I didn't look like I needed him.
***It's the same man that in my Barely not Safe for Work dream. He is more friendly here. Or less, depending on your point of view

I'm observing a time period when humanity's living on only one planet. Everywhere else has grown too cold to support them. I'm watching one man chase another into space, and he's thinking something about fuel. I'm thinking about my own choice of focus, a little amused - in a time period like this, I'd expect my focus to be on someone's epic struggle to save humanity or something to that effect. But that doesn't interest me here; this last world is going to fail regardless. I'm interested in this man's more personal struggle.

This was a rather short but nevertheless nice lucid dream. The thing started with me being some kind or raptor in a forest and people were hunting me. I had the ability to turn invisible and used it to confuse them, creating several different tracks before fully turning invisible and flying away. The landscape was very detailed, it seemed to be a very odd mix of winter with snow and yet it also resembled spring with some greenery.
I became lucid, and tried to stabilize, with mediocre success. I tried to feel the temperature, and indeed it felt really ice cold, like it would feel with my real body, with the exception that it wasn't unpleasant in any way whatsoever. A feeling I commonly thought about in real life, as I actually love the feeling of cold, and only my body making a fuss about not freezing is what makes cold unpleasant, not the feeling itself. The absolutely awesome panorama that hit me after I passed a mountain caused such a strong feeling of positive excitement that I woke up.

I should've put more effort into feeling my surroundings and stabilizing, but the panorama was worth it I guess.

I was in my hometown, lying face down on the sofa in the living room of the house. The same place where I had an OBE of sorts before. It's cold and it's raining outside. Grey clouds. I was nude.

Outside the gate, I saw someone sitting with her back to the gate. There are some baskets with her. Fruits? Clothing? I called out, wondering if it's Sunshine or Blossom. She faced the gate and I saw it's Sunshine. I gave her instructions to go "up." I hurried to look for clothes and went out the door.

When I went out, I was in the hallway of a building. A hotel? Condo unit? I went to the elevators but worried I might miss her on her way up. I passed by some people who seem to be heading or waiting for a meeting. I saw Rex and said hi.

I'm entering a large garage, looking for the owner. Off to the right I see a white truck I recognize from the first time I met him, when he'd kidnapped the queen. There are three vases full of red roses sitting in the truck bed now. The man I'm looking for is further into the garage, off to the left, along with another man who I also met during that kidnapping incident. I exchange the usual greetings with this second man, then walk up to the one I came to see. He's an incredibly big guy, tall and muscular, and he doesn't turn from what he's doing to look at me. Neither of us say anything for a moment - I have a hard time deciding how to talk to him - and then when we do speak, both of us start talking at once.

He asks about the queen at the same moment I say, "(the queen's name)'s sick." Dying, most likely.

He's shocked and horrified, as expected, and asks me a bunch of questions about her. As we talk, we raise the question of whether her sickness is a reflection of the state of the land, or whether the land's sickness is a reflection of the state of the queen - that they're linked is obvious, but which one started it, which is the cause, that's the question.

The other man joins in the conversation at this point. They'd been tracking the changes in the land on their own, not realizing what was happening to the queen; and comparing our information, the two of them become convinced it started with the land. That second man shows me one of their maps on a computer screen, showing when a giant creature associated with cold moved into the far northwest and burrowed deep into the earth - that was the first one, the one that started it. They'd already been planning to remove or kill it. It goes without saying that I'll be coming too.

As I'm looking at his data, I'm thinking, amused, how convenient, making this into a problem that can be solved with our skillset.

27.11.2014

Walking backwards and stumbling against a wall of bushes. (WBTB)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

This was an odd way to get lucid, well, not really but the situation is. Having here a bit of a hard time adjusting to the winter in my new place, it is humid and very cool, and the heat at the house is not strong enough for me (I am used to San Diego year round summer) So I woke up around 5am after waking up a million times earlier and feeling the cold hitting my bones... got frustrated and got into the computer. After 30 minutes or so, I went back to bed, hoping i would fall asleep fast as I was sleepy. As I was falling asleep, I was thinking like "some WBTB... maybe I turn lucid."

And pretty much I found myself in a dream, however, it was not a WILD but I had a false awakening and I felt that I was in a dream, even though, I was still feeling cold. I grabbed a little lamp that I had and I figured it would no longer work. As I turned it on, it started to do a very weird play of random colored lights, knowing I was indeed dreaming.

I got out from bed and glided outside from home. I was happy I finally fell asleep and I was feeling refreshed from the lucid. I was in the middle of the road and it was night. This was similar to the road in front of my house, and there were no cars. I saw a wall of bushes, similar to this:







I recalled "Walk backwards until you bump into something/someone. Turn around to see what it is. (Jenkees)" so I turned around and start walking backwards, assuming I would stumble against the bushes. It took (what it felt) a while to even hit something. As I did several steps back, way more than the distance from where I was at first place and the bushes. I was tempted to look back to see what was going on, but I figured I could fail the task, so I just kept walking backwards for a while until I hit a ton of leaves. The bushes were different now, as it was like branches with autumm brownish leaves. I felt satisfied as accomplishing this task.

I focused it was time to go kick Dark Vather's butt (a new dare I just got) and maybe fly to the sun in the process (an anyone dare and old goal of mine) but as soon as I started levitating to fly to space, I lost the dream like instantly and woke up.

From here, I had a chain of mini-lucids and double consciousness state, with a very blurr memory of what happened.

I was outside at a large lake with a small building in the middle. It was some sort of swimming park but since it was so cold, people were just hanging out instead of swimming . Megan was there but she was hanging out with some guy and a black kid. They left and were going to the guy's house, which made me pretty jealous. When they got back, I saw the guy she was with and saw that he wasn't as attractive as me so I said that Megan didn't deserve me and took of my workout shirt and dove into the water, which was actually pretty warm compared to the outside temperature. I swam around and checked out the girls in the area but none of them were attractive. I was arguing with some girl that wanted to live off grid, trying to explain to her that doing that sort of stuff is difficult.
I kept swimming and saw Megan looking for something and talking to one of her friends in a building filled with water. I swam into the building and swam upwards towards the roof, grabbing onto some pipes. I said "This is so awesome!" I noticed that the dream had vibrant colors and I said "This can't be a dream, the colors are too vibrant." I decided to do a reality check and since I didn't have my watch, I just counted my fingers. I counted 6 and Megan saw me looking at her. We smiled at each other and I snapped that I didn't have the right amount of fingers. Shortly after I woke up.

Not much this time. my house was a freezer. I honestly couldn't sleep, and it was unnatrually bright for night. (this in the dream and not in the dream). Of course, my sweater is missing.
That's all this time. It was very cold irl too, so I couldn't go back to sleep