All DJ Entries

I'm standing on an empty stage, going over some papers for the show currently in rehearsals. My soprano calls down to me from one of the boxes - she calls me Mr. Bevelle or Deville or something similar-sounding. She's got black hair done up like a Gibson girl, and an unusually high speaking voice, but in a way that I find pleasant. However, we're both aware her singing voice isn't going to last - she's only going to be able to perform in a few more shows. Because of that, she keeps coming to me like this with demands on how to run her last shows.

Scene changes to show her at rehearsal. I'm disembodied this time, without Deville's sense of background information, and I only catch three notes of her singing - lovely clear tones - but I recognize Lohengrin.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

I'm disembodied and observing a setting based on China some centuries ago. Literally just observing the setting - I'm outside of the timeline. Nothing is moving, not even the waves, and the colors of everything are incredibly saturated. I'm on a path with the sea to my right after a long drop, a long single-story house directly in front of me on this path, and several two-story buildings off to my left, among green fields. Far off in the distance I can see the shine of a building decorated in gold. Following the path, it curves to the left of that long house, and off to my left there's a man and a woman standing in a field, embracing, yellow flower petals frozen in the air around them. I know of them, though I don't know them personally. There's something secret about their relationship.

I retrace my steps back to the entrance to that long house, where those two live. I look in briefly, noting the room where she stayed off to my right, with a window looking out to the sea. I leave the house again and circle around to the right, hovering over the sea, sticking closely to the side of the building. There's a door hidden here - she escaped through here, sometime after that embrace in the field among the flowers. It becomes difficult to cling to the side of the building. I float above the water, following the path she took, until I come to another building and look inside - there's a pallet on the floor where she stayed for a while. A doctor looked after her here.

I'm walking in the garden, mentally composing a letter. When I'm ready to start putting it down, I go to where I've left my portable writing desk. There are a few bees hovering around it, interested in the vine I left it under. I'm thinking about moving it somewhere I won't disturb the bees, but then I see an envelope that's been left on top of it.

The letter inside is written in classical Chinese. I have no difficulty understanding it, but rather than actually reading the letter, I'm thinking about the woman who sent it - even without seeing her name, there's only one person who writes to me in this language. I'm seeing a mental image of the two of us walking through a rough stone tunnel next to water, with light reflecting off the water, rippling patterns reflected on our faces.

That was a memory, but the next image I see is the present, through her eyes, something that can sometimes happen when I'm thinking about her. She's looking at a painting of a woman I think of as a saint, with an image of a dragon behind her; then her vision moves up to the ceiling, as if she's falling back. I see an image of a pile of roses turning to ash, and my connection to her is gone - not just this vision, but the connection of our blood is gone. She's dead.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

There's a man who's been sent back in time, and now several other people who've gone back to rescue him. He'd been involved with the woman leading the rescue team. They've just met up now, and very nearly attacked each other - both of them sneaking around a fortress, trying to avoid being seen. Having sorted it out, it seems he's working together on a mission with a woman from this era, and fallen in love, and has no interest in going back to his original time period. He's just broken her out of a cell in this fortress. The woman who came back to rescue him is thinking it was foolish to chase his spirit into the past when she had his (something) in the present.

The scene transitions to a modern-day park; that man was brought back to the present against his wishes, but so was that woman from the past. They're spending time in the park with their infant son, distracted and unhappy.

My attention shifts to other people in the park, a group discussing magic, specifically one man mentioning a "listen and learn" spell with leaves, as a second step for those just starting to work with trees. He describes trees in general as "a bit froggy, though."

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

A private performance of a show based on Frankenstein. The 'bride' character speaks beautifully; the 'creation' character is silent, and his hands are bent backwards at the wrist as if they've been broken. When he'd been alive, he'd been the doctor's student or lover or something close.

I can recall I am with a large group of people, including family, vacationing in China. We are in a large, developed city that is testing this new elevated rail system. The elevated rail, at some points goes very far above ground level and connects near the top of some of the skyscrapers.
I can recall getting on it. There is a violent storm rolling in and my run is the last run before they are closing down the rail for the storm. It is already starting to rain, and there are violent lightning strikes and howling winds blowing.
The train comes to one of the places where the track goes very high off of the ground. It stops, and then a portion of the track begins moving up, like an elevator, carrying the train with it. We are lifted high above the city, and we see that the high up rail runs across the rooftops of some of the buildings in the area.
There was some aspect to the dream, like somebody had taken the wrong train and we were trying to find them in this vast city. I found myself to be annoyed by this, because I just wanted to ride the train, and not have to worry about tracking down others.
Being on the train is strangely very relaxing. There was a heater that made it warm and comfortable.


There was some other part of the dream, where I was in the same city. I was driving and my dad and some Chinese man were sitting in the back. I was supposed to be taking them out to dinner or something but I didn't know how to navigate, all of the road signs were in Chinese.
There was also some aspect to it, like I had to find a restaurant that had a good view of the ocean. I saw that some skyscrapers had missing windows due to the storm that had rolled in.
I think I ended up getting into a bad car accident and waking myself up.

Setting loosely based on China some centuries ago. There's two men standing on either side of a gateway; they used to know each other a long time ago, but not anymore. The one inside's a soldier; the one outside used to be. Currently he's drunk and being held up by two soldiers who work under the one inside. The one inside is deciding whether or not to have the other one executed. In the end he decides against it and says something along the lines of "Get this drunkard out of my sight."

As a disembodied observer, I'm thinking that he's going to regret that decision. In a few years they'll be rivals who both want something or someone, and the other man will win. I see an image of that future, where the man currently standing inside that gate is now watching the other man from a distance. He's thinking back to this moment and wondering what would have happened if he'd executed him then.

I was in China and was making fun of some girl. I got on a bus and left somewhere. I was with my cousin and while we passed through a bridge, we saw a Ferrari parked on the road. We thought it was gonna get hit by a bus. When we got off the bus, my body had a workout meter that would glow throughout my body showing heart rate and other workout stats. It glowed a neon green when activated. When it was active, people would know where I was and they'd come to get me. I walked through a field and saw water so I asked "Why am I in China?", counted my fingers, and looked at my watch. Everything seemed normal so I ran to a bus stop and got in and was part of some zombie apocalypse.
Most of the people were dead or zombies but a few people and I camouflaged with them while they looked for survivors. A girl kept talking to me which attracted zombies but I told her to shush. We then left to look for the other survivors and I ran like a zombie up some stairs. Before I made it into a room where survivors were, I got bitten by a dog. The bite felt painful I shot the dog and went into the room. Knowing that I was soon going to die because of the bite, I taught some kids how to use my guns and after a while, a few zombies burst in saying that they wanted us alive. I killed them with a desert eagle and there was only one girl that wasn't bitten but she didn't want to leave alone. She reminded me of Sarah from the Walking Dead game.

My IRL sisters are visiting me and we've been bickering as we walk to the door of my IRL house. There's a dead girl standing in the driveway, staring at the door, and - sarcastically, it's related to what we were bickering about - I say to her something along the lines of "Well? Are you coming in, too?" This is said more for my sisters' benefit than for the dead girl; she doesn't seem to react.

Inside, I get online and read a news article. The powerful old guard of some country have been giving themselves promotions. One man is referred to by the titles Ulmo (name taken from Tolkien, but at the time I believed it was a reference to some eastern European mythology) and Eleusis, and a rank which translates to Old Knight. The Ulmo of myth is (in this dream) associated with beginnings and the dawn, and that was symbolic for this man's political duties, but as these people have given themselves promotions those myth-derived titles have become more literal - he can now literally control dawn, and other forms of time related to the beginnings of things.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

There's a caterpillar in my IRL house. I pick it up, and although it keeps wriggling away, I eventually manage to take it outside. When I put it down in the grass, it immediately tries to get back inside, and I realize there's a beetle out there it's trying to get away from. The beetle tells me that this is the spirit of a dead girl. It tells me a story about this girl and a hockey player who's also now dead, and about two guys who took a deal not to talk about something that happened between two hockey players and two girls. I see the hockey player and the dead girl on a train, and she's staring blankly into space with these wide, round eyes.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

I'm watching an extended version of Near Dark with various extras. The one I'm watching seems to be an interview, but with the characters themselves, not the cast/crew. The family's standing around a Cadillac convertible, and Caleb's talking to someone about how he first joined the family, a long time ago. He'd been driving with a woman, she'd been drunk, when the family found them she hadn't realized the danger they were in. He talks about Mae, and then he holds up her hand and says "and lucky me - no ring." He laughs. Jesse looks a little disgusted by the way Caleb talks about Mae, but he laughs too. Caleb's wearing a belt buckle shaped like the head of a snake with fangs bared.

I decide to go back to the main menu. This isn't just for Near Dark, but for a wide variety of movies, and one displays a picture of John Constantine with a title that references immortality and love and/or betrayal. The menu images are constantly shifting, and he slips off the screen. There are at least two layers of the image, and I think of those layers as somehow acting as mirrors, both of the viewer and of each other. By changing the angle I'm standing at, I get Constantine back in view.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

Someone's telling a story. The listener asks, "Was it the wrath of heaven?" The storyteller shakes her head. "It was the wrath of the humans." Following someone's advice led to some captured human surviving and leaving the fortress where the storyteller lived, an isolated building in the center of a vast field stretching to the horizon, the only landmark I can see. He returned with many soldiers. As a disembodied observer standing on the top of that fortress, I can hear the soldiers shouting to each other. They're speaking Korean, I don't understand them.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

A setting based on a fantasy version of ancient China. An elegantly dressed woman is telling a terrified human man to "call me elder sister." He frantically agrees, although he nearly calls her something more along the lines of 'mistress' as he does so; he's thinking about her connection to his master. She releases him and walks off, through a fence, passing through the solid object like it's not there. Looking at this, the man says or thinks "What a way for owls to fly around at night."

A similar fantasy China setting. There's a man leading a human woman around a palace, talking about truth and the inability to lie. "Like this," the woman says, holding up the candle she was given by the woman who rules this place. It has words carved into it, which she believes promises her safe passage in some fashion. He laughs, and says that's a careful bit of phrasing, which causes her to look concerned. He reads it out, and it says something along the lines of "The human will want/feel no hunger." He points out that this statement will be true even if she stays here forever - she won't want food, she won't feel hunger. But actually eating solid food that will sustain her life, or returning to her own world to do so - that's a different subject entirely, and it's not covered by the carefully-phrased promise on the candle.

In a modern setting, I'm staying somewhere for the night with a small group of other people. Other groups are here as well, and there's concerns about space, so when I finally see the room we've been given I'm surprised by how big it is. There aren't many beds, but there's a lot of floor space, there should be no problem. We all sort out spaces for our bedrolls, and some of us go over the movies we have between us. I wonder if I can convince the others to put on Near Dark. The floor's becoming crowded, and I just manage to find a space for my backpack; on top of the backpack I place a stuffed animal shaped like a dog, which I'm aware contains a guardian dog spirit who protected me from the ghost of a dead girl earlier tonight.

I'm someone who's investigating a woman, and my partner and I are searching her apartment. I'm going through old chat logs on her computer. As we leave, walking down the stairwell, we talk about something I found in those logs. I'm saying to her something about "the desire to feel someone else can understand your experience, your point of view. The internet can be great for that." I'm thinking that I'm starting to understand this woman we're investigating, to know how she thinks; I can relate to her. I'm also thinking that the internet's never worked out that way for me - but then I think, feeling alone in something is a universal human experience in itself.

Connecting directly to that feeling-alone-in-something thought - we get to the bottom of the stairwell and walk out the door, and outside, we're in the ruins of an apartment building where I used to live. Everything I can see is covered in debris. We're standing in front of what used to be the indoor pool on the first floor - there's no water, there's a layer of debris at the bottom, and there's no wall or ceiling, the pool is the only recognizable part of the building left. This is a memory of where I was when my wife and daughter died. I climb down to the pool ladder, trying to recreate the moment. But I'm shorter now than I was then, the perspective's wrong. Getting the right eye level means putting my feet on a different rung of the ladder than before. It's not quite right.

Looking around, I find something in the debris. It looks like a cartridge for an old video game console; from the pictures and words on it, I get the impression it's not a game itself, but a soundtrack. My partner takes it from me and looks it over and says, yeah, if you don't know what you're doing it'll just be a soundtrack - but this contains a hidden emulator.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

Fantasy setting loosely based on ancient China. As a disembodied observer, I'm watching a man teleport into a large tunnel or cave, only to immediately crumble into dust. I'm thinking, whoops. Let's retry that.

Earlier, a woman showed that man a dark green and glittering substance kept in a small, rectangular, light green bottle, and explained that to use it you simply rub it over the palms of your hands and clap them together. Having seen him crumble into dust, I can tell she was tricking him, deliberately leading him to his death, but I'm also aware that this substance really is something of value - this man only asked her about it because he's seen her use it before. There's an old man listening to their conversation, and when she's left that old man catches the younger man's eye and takes the bottle himself, tucking it into his sleeve. The scene skips ahead to a moment when those two men are surrounded and need to escape in a hurry; the old man produces that bottle, rubs the contents over his hands - which causes them to look claw-like - and claps his hands together. Both men are teleported to that tunnel - this time around, the original teleporter lives, and the old man crumbles into dust.

A sort of ancient China-based fantasy setting. Someone's left an offering of a fish for me at my shrine, and I'm suspicious of it, so I only take a taste. It turns out to be fine. Now I feel regret; if I'd known it was good, I would have eaten the whole thing. From my perspective, after I tasted it, the rest turned to stone; I'm aware the humans offering it would have seen it differently.

Nearby, there's a man talking with his wife in their home late at night. He's going through a sort of existential despair, and he's sort of thinking through it out loud, talking more to himself than to his wife. Someone else appears and tells him that this existential despair is good, it's an indication that it's time for him to move on to the next stage of life, to become immortal. The man totally buys it. I'm a disembodied observer, but I still have the mindset of the character from the shrine in the previous scene, and I'm extremely irritated with that new person/creature. I think of this man and his wife as mine, and I don't appreciate others attempting to mislead and take advantage of them.

Outside - I remain in 3rd person POV and lose that shrine character's mindset. That couple's house is part of a small complex of several buildings enclosed by a wall, and elsewhere within that wall there's a woman who hunts demons, dressed like a man, chasing after a three-eyed crow, with another woman (a local, not a demon hunter) trying to keep up with her. They don't manage to catch it; it flew over the wall, and it didn't seem at all concerned about its pursuers. She's seen that crow before, the one controlling it has caused trouble for her in the past.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

I'm traveling through a forest, and changing into a suit of chainmail. It's gleaming white, head to toe.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

A fantasy China setting again. There's an elf woman dressed all in white, head to toe, and there are two men taking her over to an island in a rowboat. One of the men is young, the other is middle-aged and has been recently disgraced in some way, he's cut off his hair to reflect that. Reaching the island she wants to go to involves passing through several veil-like things in the air covering the opening between two cliffs.

When they reach the town on the other side of that passage, the older man immediately jumps out of the boat and heads off through the streets, moving quickly. As a disembodied observer, I follow him, and I'm thinking that I've seen this scene before, from the younger man's POV. (Which is probably a false memory, but there's a chance it's true - it's true that I was in the young man's POV in a scene just before the rowboat, and I can only remember very vague fragments of that scene.) I'm thinking now that last time, that man had met up with us after we'd taken care of some business, just before we left the island. I had wondered what he was doing while he was gone, but he'd refused to say, he's always very secretive - I'm pleased I'm going to be able to find out now. (Of course, as soon as I thought that, I woke up.)

20.10.2013

Graffiti on the Great Chinese Wall (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I woke up in the morning and lost a long dream, so I told myself I needed to come up with something and started to focus on another task of the year.

I was in some sort of school and I believe I was younger that I was. Suddenly, a guy and a gal who wore old clothes came and tried to abduct me. They claimed they were going to ask for $1,500 in order to release me. I found that it was a pretty much retarded amount for all the trouble they were going through and I tried to play it smart. I told them I would tour them around the school and show them the areas were rich boys were and were they could ask for more money. I had a plan to save my butt and get to call the cops.

The school was very long and it had two restaurants, which one of them was very fancy. I showed them it was a good place. The school now looked like very old school and it had like different stories. We went to the arts class and the music class. We went through different places until one rich looking kid appeared out of nowhere. The guy grabbed him and started to run, leaving me alone with her female partner, who was not over 5 feet tall, very slim (and hot,) blonde with very clear eyes and very clean skin.

We entered in some sort of Auditorium with Opera and told her that the school had gifted children with a lot of money. We existed the school and went for a walk. As we were outside, I started to question the realize and realized I was in a lucid dream. I did not do any reality checks, but I knew I was dreaming. I asked her if she wanted to have sex. She agreed and we started to make out. I focused in trying to not wake up, but she was so hot and good looking I did not care really if I woke up. I did not, but I lost reality. We could have sex because another car pulled next to us, and an exact replica of her, just a bit older stepped down to the car. There was a guy in the car that looked that the abductor from before and they had the children he grabbed. I knew there was some sort of jump in it time and she told me that we needed to get going.

We just went down the road and we stopped in a street that only had houses around, so we wondered were to have sex. i tried in the car without success. I realized it was snowig and the grounds were snow covered. I told her it was amazing that it was snowing in San Diego, California.

We went inside to where I believe it was their house and I could hear the cries from the abducted child. I needed to wait outside and i start to feel worried if they did not try to abduct me, since I was inside their house and they had low lights. A door opened and I saw her dressed in a very sexy pajama, and that is all she wore, She smiled at me and called me, pushing me inside the restroom and looking the door behind her. We had some amazing sex.

As we were done, I exited the restroom and the house. I was in a different place now and some guy asked me, "How was she?" I told him, "She is a amazing, easy to handle as a doll." I started to realize that I was again dreaming and while I was thinking about it, this guy was telling me that the tree above him had amazingly beautiful animals... I looked up and all I saw where huge bees. I indeed knew I was dreaming and looked at my hands and even though I had five fingers, one of them started to grow and stretch and then, it started to become wider, but only on the tip.

I decided to take off and fly away, while the guy kept talking about the bees. I was on the top of the roof of a store and told myself I needed to get down another Task of the Year. I took off and flew high, the dream could you a bit more clarity, so did the same technique about pulling my glasses out of nowhere. It worked again. I kept flying until I saw the whole Earth, so that way I could travel easier to the target country. I flew down and I entered in Italy. I told my self, "No, no, no... I do have nothing to do here." I recalled the Great Chinese Wall thing. So I started to look for a Chinese restaurant and use it for a portal. It was easy to find, as I entered it a Chinese guy greeted me and told me if I wanted to dine with an accent. I told him, "Yeah, sure, sure." I kept looking for a door without any success. I saw that the restaurant at the end had a garden. so I pretended that the garden would be China, but all I found was a small garden and a tiny replica of the Wall. I doubt that would work so I started to fly and glide above this garden. I could hear a voice telling that I had to ay to be there, but I ignored her. I saw another door and flew through it. As I did, I was stepping on the real Great Chinese Wall.







I was happy but i knew I was not done. I tried to start to tear down the wall, but as I tried to pull out a rock, it wouldn't move. I tried to brake it with energy balls but neither worked, so I decided to pull a Red Spray and do some graffiti. That is vandalizing after all. I wrote, "I rock" and as soon as I ended, I heard voices. I saw Chinese guys coming towards me with assault rifles and riding horses. I got in fighting stance and as they came I started to knock them out of the wall, until I finished a ton of them. I told my self I was done with the task so I was going to do something else, but i lost focus and so lucidity.

Now there was water around the wall and some female Chinese people like making photos. I started to grab them and fling them to the water, but there were a few steps of concrete before the water. I grabbed a light one and flung her. He fell on the ground hitting her head and I started to feel bad, I did not want to injure anyone.

My wife came out of the blue and made a photo. She told me that it was the girl that Fabian like and told me she was going to post on Facebook what I did. I woke up.

IRL I'm going to China this semester so in the dream I finally went to China. I've been told as a black guy with dreads that I'll stick out like a sore thumb so I was walking around and was mystified that no one was staring or anything. It was like I was a part of the environment and nothing was strange at all. I entered this one building which I felt was some sort of student center that I was supposed to go to. Entering it, I walked into this sort of main room that was reminiscent of a small lecture hall that looked like it was made in the 80s by the looks of the furniture. The cool thing about it was that, the levels of seating sank into the floor instead of the floor rising to create the amphitheater look. But instead of lectures, this room was more just a gathering spot and place to chill. Everyone was just talking to the people around them.

I was sorta shocked to see a girl from my high school and one of the chefs from my college just hanging out and talking to each other. The girl was talking about how she didn't ave much money left til we went to the next city where somehow we were going to get jobs or something. The chef just said that h was going to hang in the background like he usually did and lack of money didn't bother him because he always was able to find a way to support himself in China(apparently he was some sort of Admin on these trips).

A setting that looks like it's based on ancient China. I'm about to transport a prisoner, a high-ranking woman, but the focus of the dream is on the people I ran into guarding her cell, two men I'd known during what I think of as 'the bloodstained war.'

The dream moves into a flashback to the war: I was some kind of government official, something to do with money. It kept me out of the fighting at a time when most men my age were soldiers, and I was conflicted about that, especially since my job required me to work closely with the military. Those two men guarding the cell had been soldiers who briefly acted as my guards while I was traveling through a dangerous area. During this flashback, we met a priest who I'd kept in contact with since, and I'm thinking about the major contrast between how earnest and naive he was then and how cynical he grew to be.

(I woke up. I went back to sleep for one more hour.)

Modern western setting, I'm playing the role of some teenage guy. I'd gone back to my hometown by the sea, thought I was just passing through but got into some kind of trouble and wound up stuck working as a camp counselor as some kind of community service. I'd resented it, wanted nothing more than to get out of town, but as I stuck around I've wound up being a lot fonder of the place than I expected, like some kind of cheesy family movie plot. Also my ex-girlfriend is working at the camp and maybe isn't an ex- anymore. And this is the last day of camp. So I'm in a good mood as I'm riding my bike back to camp after running an errand in town, getting stuff for the ice cream party at the cabin tonight, looking around at the streets and remembering dumb kid pranks and rivalries and shortcuts around here, when I happen across an octopus in the middle of the road.

It's still alive, though it doesn't look too good, it's not moving much. We're just above the beach here, so I scoop it up and return it to the water, and it perks right up - and immediately crawls right back out of the water to cling to a rock. But at least it's not in the road anymore, and it can get back to the water if it wants. It left burns on my arm, like a jellyfish, which I think of as the normal result of picking up an octopus. When I get back to camp my maybe-not-an-ex sees the burns and goes "oh, you didn't," and yes, letting myself get burned was dumb, but what else was I supposed to do?

Date: 13 June

Not very funny FA and LD chain

Total sleep time: 4 hrs

Comments: Tonight definitely was a bad time to go for a lucid. We had a sleep over guest and I was nervous I had to wake up the same time as our guest and no idea when that would be. I repeated the same combo as yesterday (but had different results?), did SSILD to help with sleep and induce ld. I got into a rather nasty FA chain. The resulting lucidity was not to be envied either.

Pre bed: Gingko

WBTB: I was woken up, had 1/2 RB about half an hour later. Trouble falling asleep.

Fragment: A DC that looks like my father shows aggressive attitude

FA1: I am in bed and guest is knocking on the door, saying he is leaving now. I hear him and partially see him, but I also see some other layer with my reflection on it. I decide that I am dreaming the second layer, while he is trying awake me irl. I tell him to leave me alone and come back later because I am just either lucid or missing a FA.

FA2: I am in bed, and there is trash, food leftovers and other stuff on the bedsheets. I find it a bit strange but swipe it aside and continue sleeping.

FA3: I wake up and go to the toilet. I look myself in the mirror. I look terrible, my face is swollen. I think "What have I done, this is probably because of the supps/RB". As if that isn't enough, I feel a very strong pressure in my head. Ahhhh

FA4 and DILD: I wake up and go to pee. Some nonexistent pipe breaks down and starts rhythmically pumping out water. I think this is too bad to be real life, and question the nature of reality. The pipe keeps pumping water, flooding the place, so I run into the room where our guest is sleeping to ask for help. He comes in the bathroom but it is not him at all, but a strange looking DC that has something not very human in his posture? I finally conclude that this can only be a dream. I go to the corridor, the strange DC next to me and an older lady. The dream gets distorted, images from other places appear in my mind, while I am thinking of an efficient way to leave our place. The dream disintegrates.

DILD2: I renter some place but the DCs there keep getting in my way so I cannot go as I would like to. the dream fades

DILD3: I am in another apartment, a geeky looking DC is trying to get my attention. I don't want to be here. I notice a large cupboard and am tempted to try passing through it. I am mostly wondering if I will be able to overcome the solidity and also see what will happen once I get in there. The cupboard is initially solid, but I push myself forward and it suddenly swallows me into the darkness with a strange gulp like sound. There is something very watery to that ex cupboard space, and I feel as if I am underwater. Very interesting, I think to myself. I swim forward ending in the void, the underwater sensations fading away. Back to my physical body, I may have even moved my real hands a bit while in the void.

DILD4: Another dream starts and I am in an apartment again. A number of daring DCs are here as well. I try to go on my way, but this DC woman gets in front of me holding a bread knife. I notice that we are in the kitchen, and try to make her engage in slicing the bread that is there, instead of behaving menacingly. I meet resistance and am unable to control her much. I am adjusting my mood as not to expect her to do anything to me, trying to be as non-reactionary as possible. She has the knife in one hand and gets a cleaver in the other. I struggle with her hand, also attempting to grab the knife from time to time, while being careful not to cut myself. I know this is dream and I don't care so much, but I am annoyed that things aren't going my way. There is someone else pushing me, causing me discomfort and mild pain. I move away a bit, feeling exhausted and desperate.

Since the dream is going nowhere, I allow the DC woman to get me, but now she has other intentions. I organize a pleasurable indecent scene and wake up shortly after.

I wake up and go to the restroom and check out my reflection in the mirror. I look terrible. I RC. Tired, nervous and annoyed I consider if I want to go back to sleep. Shortly journal, then try to fall asleep but it is too late.

This nightmare approximates to official count of 2 Lds? and 2 micro lds.

---------------------------------
Date: 14 June

Total sleep time: 8 hrs

Sleep quality and recall: Deep restorative sleep, below average recall

Pre bed: Gingko

Bedtime dreamlet: There is a discussion about the advantages of living in China vs living in France. It seems that living in China is much better. I am entering China, zooming in trying to determine my location. Very hard to describe I see the land and plants as if I am on the ground yet it is in the shape of the map of China. There are blackberries that represent each city in China, and are very close together which means very crowded.

I realize that I am falling asleep and pull back from the dream, trying to commit it to memory.

WBTB: very tired after yesterday's lack of sleep, so I just couldn't do it

Dream1: I am on the street and there is a house to my left. Xanous comes from there. We talk about something. A friend of mine comes, I can't remember now if Xanous knows him.

Xanous is now gone somewhere. Me and my friend are trying to have a shared dream via DV but actually don't know that we are having a shared dream with each other. What are the odds? I tell this realization to my friend and we are happy. He invites me to his place where I have been in dreams. I check out the furniture. He leads me through the corridor, but I insist on having a look at the bedroom. There is a sliding door, double bed with white bed sheets, and a wardrobe with a mirror to the left.

Fragment2: My class meets again, this time boys only. I don't know why I am here and they behave like idiots. I look at them and have a strange feeling that something is not quite right here (as in this is a dream!) but continue being involved in the scene.

Progress with goals as the 14th morning:

- Do 100 RCs (15/100) *
- notice real life DS 100 times and RC (17/100)
- 10 proper WBTB attempts -> days (6/10)
- 10 morning RCs (3/10)
- 2 proper WILD attempts (0/2)
- task flexibility
- journal flexibility

*I am also practicing some ADA, so it is not as bad as it seems, although I need to increase the RCs

LDs: 12 (official count)
micro-lds: 4 (not counted)
suspicious events: 2 (not counted)

Experiment night 3/7
Experiment: falling asleep while imagining a white letter “a” on area below navel (from dream yoga book). Usual effects for me – increased dream vividness and a greater chance of LD

This evening: somewhat hard to concentrate on the white “a”, some trouble falling asleep after a rather heavy meal. Nevertheless, the first dream was quite strong and detailed, perhaps about 5 hrs after sleep onset.

Dream 1: I was in what looked similar to my grandmother’s building, and it turns out this very important for me irl person, a main DC now lives. I am going up and down the stairs, in the hope that I will finally meet him along the way, but he is not there. I leave the building, standing on the stairs that lead outside, looking at a person that is walking down the street. At first I don’t recognize him, he is wearing a white hat or strange blouse, but then I finally see that it is the DCs I was waiting for. As if this were a real life situation, I try to hide my excitement of seeing him (haven’t seen him for 12 years irl) my eyes shyly looking to my left, then allowing myself to smile and going to greet him. He is being polite, greets me, and says that he hasn’t seen me for a year. “Well, it’s because I don’t live here anymore”, I reply. He makes some remarks about different countries which make no sense at all, I correct him with my knowledge, which by the way is also wrong. Then, the conversation seems to be over for him and he likes to continue on his way. “Wait, why don’t you tell me what you have been up to these days”? I really don’t wanna let him go. I pat him on the cheek the way I do with my bf. That is really strange and embarrasses me, I begin to apologise myself, and then, I do it again! I tell him that I pat my bf the same way, he reacts in some strange way, and his face starts to distort and now he has some facial features similar to my bf. I am quite worried about what he thinks about me in this dream and apologize for my weirdness again and try to change the subject. [end]

8:30 Our neighbours wake me up. I write down this dream and I decide I will try to WILD at 8:50. First WILD attempt ever. Initially, I was too alert, a lot of thoughts in my head, then I finally manage to relax with some nice thoughts. I wake up at 10:35 - WILD fail. I remember a dream but decide against writing it down because that will wake me up too much. I try DEILD. DEILD fail. I continue sleeping. BF is already up, walking around.

12:30 – I finally wake up, disappointed, and I have no recall of any dreams whatsoever. I isolate myself with my notes and want to remember. Nothing. Did I dream about a school? Yes! Finally, some fragments begin to emerge:

Dream2: This was the one immediately after the WILD attempt. It was the first day of school for the year and I am in my high school (DS). My mom is with me and I don’t like that. I try to send her away, telling her that I am going to class. She leaves the building. I have other plans too and leave the building, looking for someone familiar outside. There are fewer people than I expect. Some guys are playing, throwing a tennis ball that lands in my hands, I awkwardly toss it back, having trouble controlling my movement, it goes in the wrong direction, but they manage to catch it. I wake and know that I have failed the WILD.

Dream3: [Fragment]After watching some factories, I hear my friend DC from school (DS) tell me some arguments about China. He says that they had a country only for 80 years or something like that. He was discussing the development. I told him that he is wrong, and there had been China, for some 5000 years, though not in its present form. Tribes and clans that have come together and apart over time. I tell him that some 3000 years BC the Chinese were already highly advanced, and I refer to a pottery that exists irl (I saw on wiki December 2011), that he can check online if he doesn’t believe me. I feel guilty for arguing with such a fervor with him…

Dream4: There is some kind of international festival, where young girls wear national traditional dresses. I am looking around, and become part of an “active audience”, which is part of the set. There is a cupboard with some objects that faces the stage, rather than the audience. This is where I stand. I start messing with the objects that are placed on the cupboard. There is a miniature watch, which literally falls apart in my hands. I try to fix it, but small parts keep falling to places that I can’t even reach. I try making the watch or whatever it is stay in one place, then I hide it somewhere at the back. I look at the objects on the cupboard, I made such a mess there, I feel embarrassed, hoping that no one will notice and that this does not influence the play in any negative way. A DC woman with authority comes and looks at the mess. She doesn’t notice anything out of order and I feel relieved. She is more concerned with finding some suspicious individuals, a renaissance picture and a news article is presented to me. It tells briefly the story of three pirates, a man and two women, one of them, I identify as myself. The DC woman tells me that these are dangerous and it is possible that they are around. I become worried that she might discover my true identity, but luckily she doesn’t. The performance is about to begin. Now it is more like a theatre act than a dancing performance. I make remarks that it isn’t the plot? that people are here to follow, but rather the performance and play of actors. That’s what it is all about.

Dream5: I was talking to a DC real estate agent. He looked at the nearby river and found it really disgusting. He said that he would never live near a place like that. I agreed with him and told him that I felt sick from the river. I would rather live somewhere high up the mountains. I looked and there was a green-yellow hill with some houses on it. Some misty clouds were over the hill. I would rather live there, I thought. Then I fly/zoom over the hill, looking for a place where we could move to. I reach some kind of city suburbs, with strange buildings, not industrial, but rather they look like some past communist memorials. I remember in the dream that this was exactly the path of the processions from the day before that I saw on dream TV. (fake memory?) In front of the memorial are some Czech enthusiastic young people, they are members of a youth communist organization and seem to be celebrating. I try communicating with them in an eastern European language that I make up at the moment, something like eastern European Esperanto. [end] The movie that my bf is watching in the other room is getting too loud and I finally wake up.

Mood after Dr1 Wake: Sad
Mood after final wake: A bit irritated with myself as no LD, and initially no memory of dreams

I lay down to WILD at about 9am, Sunday 17th Feb.

It took a lot more effort for me to get into he WILD and to maintain the dream than usual. This makes me want to stick to my before bed method even more.

When I 'opened my eyes' I was walking down the streets of China, through a giant market with so many people in it. Some of the colours were quite dull and dreary but the top of the stalls were a bright red and some had golden banners trailing down the sides. People were crowding round trying to buy items and food which smelt really peculiar.

There was a tiny gap in the middle of the street as everyone was crowding the stalls and through it I could see this man getting stabbed, I sprinted down the gap, knocking people flying as I ran and skidded to a halt when I reached the stabbing. There were about 4 or 5 people committing the crime and the guy was still alive so I ran forwards a few more steps, spun around and kicked the knife out of one guy's hand before drawing my leg back in and kicking him in the face. The other people then dropped their knives and glared at me so I ran.

I realized I was running alongside a massive wall and that I'd been stood in an archway before. I thought this had to be the great wall of China. I came to some stairs going the other way to the direction I was running and zipped up them, taking them two at a time and turning really sharply when I needed to.

I eventually reached the top of the wall and began running back in my original direction. I kept running as fast as I can until I reached an 'invisible' barrier that just cut the wall in half. You couldn't see the barrier but you couldn't see past it either. I cursed and then panicked as I could hear the gang people coming up behind me. I walked to the edge and dropped down, clinging to a stone that was jutting out of the wall. I hid here until the gang had approached, looking for me and shouting as they couldn't find me.

When I was sure they'd disappeared I climbed up and breathed a sigh of relief. I then remembered the task and reached into my pocket for a can of spray paint. One appeared, I pulled it out and started scrawling 'I survived' onto the pavement(?) of the wall and looked up when I saw some fierce looking Chinese people coming my way, about 9 or 10 of them in total.

I stood up and waiting for them to approach, when they were about 3 steps away from me I spun and lashed out with my left foot, kicking people repeatedly as I spun closer and began whacking people with my hands, hoping I was doing the right thing as I kicked someone in the face. Eventually everyone was on the floor and I began to run off, tripping and apparating into my hotel room, sprawling onto the floor and laying there trying to catch my breath.

The dream ended and lasted around 10-12 minutes.

Camping with sister and her friend. I leave to go see my girlfriend and we go on a trip to China. We go to see the tallest building in China, which is the tallest building in America. It turns out its the apartment complex of her father and I go visit him. He's pretty remote, we don't speak each others language. We don't make it to the top, instead I meet her friend and she wants me to go with her to the store. I want to go so I get in my car but she wants to ride the bike like everyone does in China. I say okay but figure I should ask my gf first. She's at the campsite though which is far away so I run to get her. When I get there, she's with my friend. They had smoked weed. I ask my sister if she wants to stay at the campsite or at her friends house which is up the road. She wants to go to her friends but her friend wants to go to the site. It's beautiful, right on a big lake.

In another dream, I am a different person. I live in an apartment complex. It's late and there is some partying. Someone dies. They die because I neglected them. The girl complained of a cold. I told her to go to the hospital. I then left. After I left, she died.