Recent DJ Posts

Nice character died
There was an adventure beforehand. While I and a group of other people were fleeing from monsters that shoot some form of projectile, he was hit and immediately killed. I sort of got sad as if he was a character from a movie that died, thinking that it's sad that they didn't continue on with his story. The character might not have been human.

Disastrous tree portal
There was something about entering a portal through a tree. It's sort of like a certain tree, where you do a certain thing with the bark and it opens, letting you go in and freefall into a different world of some sort.

It appears it is like a trap, as I end up in a weird abandoned building, with strange lighting. It's like it's always dusk outside, the yellow light leading up the ghostly and dark hallways. It feels like the home of somebody who has died. All lights are off, and it seems like somebody just abruptly left. Everything seems like a still-life painting, with things laying around as if they were just about to be used. It's totally silent. I walk through the corridor, which is located on the second floor and on the east side of the building and is pretty narrow. On the right side are the aforementioned windows, and to the left are several doors. Suddenly, some sort of woman appears.

Cut to some sort of video clip, showing several catastrophes, such as a rollercoaster accident. In the end, it always zooms into the face of the first person who dies, just a second before it happens, showing their scared, screaming faces.

At some point, I am in a sort of white void, with a single patch of forest as a representation of the tree portal and the area around it. There is some sort of large person about it, about 4 meters in height. He is male, and I seem to trust and know him. He gives me advice on how to get back into the normal world.

Cut back to the corridor. There is a woman there, I know she is a demon, presumably from the advice I got. I hide in a cupboard of sorts, or maybe behind a door that was set down in the corridor, but she finds me. Quickly, I think about the weak points of the human body, but I don't remember. Then, shortly after, I see a knife right of me on a window sill. I quickly grab it and ram it into the heart of the woman, but she just laughs, so I ram it into her stomach and then, finally, I slit her throat and then I ram it in her throat. Then, she is dead.

25th January 2021

Fragment:

Something Daikatana-like? I visit several dream locations but a few of those are marshes like in the first act of the game.

I remember going into a disused entrance. Dark, wet. Some blue light or reflection from the water. Vines and so on? I'm here to find a body and destroy it, a friend or ally's body. Someone else is either with me, or guided me here.

26th January 2021

Dream:

I'm browsing the usual art site. I'm looking at someone's profile and see that I'm on some list of skilled artists this person likes, I think I am surprised by this, but appreciative.

Later, I return to the same profile? I see I am no longer on that list and spot an entry talking about the reasoning behind including each artist under a specific category. I'm listed apparently because of some KH (from BL) piece I made. They also mention how and why they chose to exclude me from their favoured artists' list, but I forget the details.

There's an animation on this entry... It's their main character, a dark-blue, almost black furred wolf/canine. The animation loops and the character grins as he cuts off the ring finger from his right hand.

I feel disappointed, or hurt.

Dream:

I'm outside, a typical city of some kind. I'm not wearing a mask and feel that I should be. I'm at a sports area and there are dozens of people of all ages, including young kids, though I think mainly kids. I become concerned because none of these people doing sports or playing outdoor games are wearing any masks. It makes me apprehensive and I almost feel as though I can see the particulates of their normal breathing in the air.

I leave this area. I remember some roads. It's day time but I forget what the sky is like exactly. I'm walking through some street under an overpass. Someone is walking along with me but I forget who. We are having a conversation and we pass several people, some don't make any effort to move out of our way even though we are practically up against a wall on the side anyway. I feel apprehensive again about transmission.

I can't recall where we go or end up.

---

Notes:
- Maybe it's only natural that I've been getting these dreams about the art browsing again. Lately I have been a bit more active and have felt the same anxieties and maybe frustrations that I was feeling around the last times I was having this sort of dream.
-- I think I felt so hurt because I feel people are so changeable and I have been finding it very difficult to connect with anyone in that world. Too often I end up feeling just too different despite having virtually similar interests.

- The outdoor dream had a grey or desaturated feel to it.

Ritual: wtb 3am, around 9am set vibrating alarm for 36 minutes. The first time it went off, I felt like I was already awake, that I had been lying awake for several minutes before I felt the vibration. In retrospect I was quickly suspicious that this was a false memory, but the consequence was that I woke up for real. I reset the alarm to go off in 28 minutes, and went back to sleep.

EILD: I felt the vibration again, and at first I thought it was another failed attempt, that I was wide awake again. But this time I convince myself not to give up so easily, to lay still and explore it. I wiggle my fingers. Actually... that feels right, like dream movement. I wiggle the fingers of the other hand and gradually start to engage my whole body, but soon, no, I can still sense the dream body but I'm convinced that I'm accidentally moving my real body too. (In retrospect, it seems likely that my impressions of moving the physical body were false, as this surely would have broken aphasia.) It feels like the two kinds of sensory awareness are layered together. My dream sense is not broken but I need to find some way to desynch from the physical, to move unnaturally in a way the real body can't follow. I try to bend my arm the wrong way at the elbow, down into the mattress. I find this a bit difficult for some reason, but something else happens: I start to understand that I am creating all this difficulty in my own mind, that it really doesn't have to be this complicated. Upon this realization I simply find myself standing next to the bed, fully in dream. That certainly makes things easier!

My WL awareness was somewhat confused throughout this whole process, since during the whole time I was lying in bed I had the impression that I could overhear a colleague from work talking to her daughter (who I have never met). They were discussing a humanitarian volunteer program that the colleague was doing in another country, maybe Africa. I listened with interest since I had not been aware that she was involved with anything like this (there is no RL basis), but it made sense since she is a very kind and generous person. She was talking about some kind of environmental crisis and said that the local people trusted the "agents," that is, the field workers of this organization, like her, but not the administration or the experts that were sent in to instruct them. The challenge was teaching the locals new ways of environmental management so they were no longer unsustainably exploiting their natural resources. I think it was targeting water usage.

After I was fully transitioned into the dream, I remembered that I had reset my vibrating alarm to an interval of only seven minutes, so I would have to work quickly before it went off again, waking me up. Curiously, now I'm not sure if I really did reset it, and suspect I dreamed that part too. The nice thing about a device like this is that it actually provides hard evidence against which to check my unreliable memories. Nope! It's still set to 28 minutes. So there was one point this morning where I definitely did reset it from 36 to 28, but the later memory of resetting it to 7 minutes—for some reason convinced that I would be able to fall asleep within that time frame—turns out to have been an FFA (false falling asleep), evidence that I was already asleep.

With (so I mistakenly thought) only seven minutes to work in, minus whatever time I had already spent transitioning, I walk quickly through the house and toward the front door, ready to plunge into deeper dreamspace. As I pass through the living room, something bumps into my leg from the pile of wood stacked near the fireplace. At first I plan to ignore it but then I wonder if the dream is trying to get my attention, so I glance down and see a pair of scissors. I'm not sure what to make of this but I grab them and take them with me. I go outside, where the sky is cloudy and half-lit as though it were dawn or dusk. I realize that this is wrong, and recall that it must already be after 9am in WL.

What was my task? I have difficulty remembering, so while I'm thinking about it, I decide to do something spontaneous. I'm still holding the scissors... I know! I'll cut off my hair. As I walk I reach awkwardly behind my head and randomly lift locks of hair with my left hand, cutting them near the scalp with the scissors held in my right. This all feels surprisingly lifelike, which makes me think momentarily: I had better be right that I am dreaming! But then I figure, what's the worst thing that could happen if I accidentally cut off my real hair? I'd have to shave my head? Not a big deal, I even did that once in college.

All this time I'm still trying to think of the tasks I had planned—why is it sometimes so hard to remember? Finally it comes to me. Right! I was going to try to roleplay a familiar character. I decide on Shriven, my WoW character, since I've played her the longest and also the most recently. My tabletop characters are much more psychologically complex, but I think I should probably start with something simpler. Okay, how do to this? I remember that I was going to try the narration technique. I start with something really basic: "Shriven is running," I murmur. My stride changes as I think I remember what her run looks like, becoming more mechanical. That part makes sense, given that she's digitally rendered. I don't have the impression that I look or feel any different, though. I keep trying, and although I don't recall my narrations in detail, I have the impression that they were extremely bland.

I'm running through city streets now. At one point I notice that the buildings all seem older, eighteenth-century maybe, though this still just looks like one of my typical dream cities rather than a more appropriate setting for what I'm trying to accomplish. I'm still cutting my hair as I go—having started, I feel like I should finish the job. When I finally slice through the last tress, I stop and gaze at my reflection in a store window. Not bad! Although short hair never really suits my features, the haircut itself turned out alright, kind of punk/pixieish. In fact, it even reminds me of Shriven's hair, which is short and spiky and irregular. However, there is no real resemblance, and in all other respects my reflection looks unusually like my WL appearance: same eyes, same face, same hair color. Usually in dreams I see a lot more distortion.

I use the scissors to make a few finishing touches to the haircut before realizing that it is pointless to be so finicky in a dream. In fact, I'm done with the scissors now... I'm just going to drop them on the ground! This always feels so liberating, since I would never do that in WL. I continue running effortlessly down the street and when I come to the end there is a ten foot gap to cross to reach a platform or walkway. Jump—you can do this! I clear the gap, just barely, and feel proud of myself as I land.

Still, I don't feel like I'm making much progress on my task so I try to figure out how to improve my approach. What does Shriven do? Well, she often summons her mount, an undead warhorse. I narrate this to myself, but nothing happens. Every time I do this in game the horse makes a distinctive shrill whinny, so I try to use the sound as a focal point. I find it becomes ambiguous whether I can hear the sound in the dream or if I'm just remembering it.

As I pass through a T-intersection, a blinding light directly ahead causes me to swerve. It is so bright that I assume it must be bleedthrough from RL. I remember the conversation between my colleague and her daughter that I overheard during my transition; with true dream logic I never questioned the impossibility of that taking place in my bedroom, and so now I assume that one of them must still be there, taking flash pictures. Instead of going straight into the light, my initial direction, I turn and take the street on the left, even turning my face away so to diminish the brightness. I can hear a voice from the direction of the light saying, "Don't shoot! Don't shoot!" So I was right about the camera, I conclude. At no point do I recognize the absurdity and error in my thought processes, but I do reflect that it is interesting that the environment made me change the direction I was going—is the dream trying to control my movement?

After this interruption, I go back to trying to summon the undead warhorse. It's still not working, but then I notice that the shop just ahead of me seems to have horse skulls hanging on the back wall. That's an improvement! I go into the shop, which is now a tiny space almost completely filled by a large bunkbed. A bearded man is lounging on the lower bunk, eating a meal and watching TV, while the upper bunk is shacked with sheepskins. I ask the man about the horse skulls.

"That's not a horse skull," he responds.

I realize he must be referring to the giant animal skull on the floor at my feet. It must be about three feet long. "What is it?"

"That's an academic-size magic detector," he answers, hardly taking his eyes off his TV program. Not sure what to make of his words, I look at the skull again. I realize it must have come from some kind of giant lizard, like a crocodile, but it has a small horn at the snout like a rhinocerous. As I study it, I see that it is now green and sparkling, the color offset with pale stripes. I am tempted to compare it to an Elvis suit, but fear that the proprietor might be offended.

FA: I wake up and start taking notes right away, starting from the last scene and moving backward. Fortunately I don't get very far before I realize I am writing on dream paper. I wake up for real and record my notes on my laptop.

[My second entry of the series of dreams of "Lin"]

I was in the phantasmic portal and I somehow spun myself into a scene of a house. I searched for Lin and found her sitting on a chair in a room in blankets. She seemed irritated and tired for some reason. I asked her on a date and she said yes. She sort of just fell asleep after that. I was amazed by the clarity of the dream again, looking around, noticing the color of her eyes and immersing myself in the dream. I was surprised to have time left over to actually sit and think about the experience while sitting next to her. I forgot to ask where we should go unfortunately.
Note: I thought the meditation wasn't working at all until the next thing I knew, I was just there. Like just waking up in the phantasmic portal.

Type: Procedural
Perspective: Character, adolescent boy

NLD: I'm a young boy with no parents who has been raised by relatives, perhaps an aunt and uncle. They've been very stingy, working me hard and giving me the minimum that I need to survive. Now I'm about twelve and they've decided that I'm old enough to strike out on my own, so I am preparing for the journey. It is winter, so I know that I'll need to pack carefully: I'll need a bundle light enough to carry but with the necessities to survive. I've already prepared most of it, and now I'm consolidating. I have a little backpack with my journal and a suede pocket with a zipper that holds my writing implements [RL: I have one like this], and a few more things I deem essential. I had a Hello Kitty riding glove in the backpack, a single one for the right hand, sized for a child's hand, and I realize it isn't essential—it isn't even mine—but sentimental; it belonged to a girl who was my best friend. The thumb is split at the seam and she lost the left-hand glove so she let me have it as a memento. But as I pack things from my room I come across a similar glove for the left hand, slightly different in color but with a matching Hello Kitty pattern. I wonder at first if it's the lost partner of the first glove, but the different hue suggests that the match is coincidental. Still, I decide that I can put them together and give them back to the girl. I won't have a memento of her anymore, but at least then there will be one less thing in my pack, and maybe she'll be able to use them again. They still look usable, even worn as they are.

I have a big heavy box, a long rectangle, with heavy glass partitions. I know I'll never be able to carry this, but the first part of my journey will be by wagon, so I'll load it on board and try to use up or trade away the contents before I have to go on foot. I forget what the original contents of the box are, but there are some empty spots and I also have a few bottles of beer, a light brew in clear glass bottles, so I'll consolidate by putting them in the empty spots. So now I have the heavy long box, my little backpack, and a bundle containing my clothes and bedding. Once I get rid of the heavy box, I'll be able to carry the rest. But I still need to worry about food.

There was another whole side plot earlier with my uncle, and me lying on my back in the water of a pool or pond, and him having compassion and perhaps even offering to let me have breakfast in the big house before I go, but I can't remember this well.

From the building where I was packing, which is on a hill next to another building (the big house where aunt and uncle live further off to the right) I go down the hill to the stable where I've been working. I've been working as a farmhand ever since I got big enough, but still being a young boy and small for my size, I've been able to squeeze into a tiny spot between the other hands on the seat of our crowded wagon. I figure the fact that I don't take up much room will come in handy when taking the wagon out.

I go through the stable saying goodbye to the animals. I also come across another girl I know (not the one I was thinking of earlier), a dark-haired, slightly older teenager leading a dark bay horse. I tell her I am leaving and we say goodbye. I wish I had something to give her, but figure she knows that I have very little and won't hold it against me that I didn't give her a parting gift.

In the back of the stable I say goodbye to a big gray rabbit who is in an empty open stall, then a few minutes later come across a little white rabbit at the bottom of a bucket with a few inches of water in it, so the rabbit is half-submerged. I worry that it can't get out [RL: this comes from the fact that I've found deck lizards in a bucket in my garden in this predicament a few times], so I reach in and lift it out. I want to take it over to the big rabbit where it might find a friend, but as I'm carrying it, it bites me. Being a wild rabbit who is undoubtedly frightened at being handled this is understandable, and I don't mind, though I worry that it might be carrying rabies or some other disease. The wound is on my thumb [RL: I have an old scar from a real rabbit bite there] but doesn't look deep. I set it down quickly and watch as it hops straight over to a bowl of cream that the cats have left uneaten in a bowl and consumes it all ravenously. I am somewhat reassured that it doesn't look rabid; its actions now seem very deliberate. I reflect how well-fed the cats are, that they would not even bother to finish this bowl of cream, compared to the little rabbit who doesn't even naturally like cream, but is probably devouring it because of such great hunger and thirst. I go back to the big rabbit and wonder if I can get him any food or some stalks to chew; he doesn't seem interested in the hay in this stall, but there were some larger, sweeter stalks, like corn or sugarcane, over where I found the little rabbit, so I bring some over.

Next I plan to feed the chickens. I have a shallow rectangular tray that I take back up to the building on the hill to prepare some foods, like cut up tomatoes, a hard-boiled egg for some reason, other vegetables and fruits. As I exit again carrying the tray, I'm standing for a moment just outside the building distracted by my thoughts when I feel someone press something into my left hand. It's not money, it's segments of something that has the texture of nuts. [Not any substance recognizable from RL.] I look up and find a tall young man with a dark beard [odd how often this archetype appears, I've never known someone with these features in RL]. He says his name is Keith, and this is for the food—he abruptly grabs a handful from the tray. I have the impression that he is starving but too honorable to just steal from me, so he has offered this token payment, but won't risk rejection by asking for the food. I feel sorry for him—and realize that I might soon be in the same boat, as he looks like a traveler—and offer, "Would you like any more? Take the hard-boiled egg." I figure that will offer him better nutrition than the handful of grapefruit or somesuch that he has grabbed in his haste. He thanks me and takes the egg and a few other things, and leaves.

As I continue down the hill back toward the stable, I reflect with satisfaction on the fact that I was not frightened or startled by his abrupt appearance, but kept my cool and even managed to be generous. I also remember two other occasions earlier when guys stopped by hoping for food in a similar manner. (I think this was a false memory, that is, I don't think these events actually occurred at any point earlier in the dream, they are just something I was "remembering" at this point.) I realize that all these hungry travelers probably means food is scarce on the road, and I'm going to have to deal with this very situation soon. It occurs to me that hard-boiled eggs might actually be a good thing for me to pack; they won't last long, but in this cold weather they might last two or three days, and they'll be great nutrition. However, that had been the only egg on my tray. How could I get some more? Would aunt and uncle let me have them? They're just eggs, but they've been so stingy in the past. Still, they did offer me breakfast. I hope they meant it; I should eat a big breakfast before I leave. I ate little yesterday and nothing so far today. What if leaving on a full belly meant the difference between life and death, adding another day before the possibility of starvation? But maybe they'd be more likely to let me have the eggs if I brought them myself to the house and only asked if I could boil them. I can probably get some from the hens in the stable: it's morning, some of them might have lain already. Could I even boil them myself, and avoid asking aunt and uncle altogether? But I'm not sure how I would start the fire, or find the pot to boil water in.

I set down the tray, and the chickens start eating. While they are occupied, I check their nests. Sure enough, I find an egg... and another... and another. Three eggs in this nest? This worries me actually—why hadn't the eggs been collected for the past few days? They should still be good to eat, but—had aunt and uncle been intending to let them hatch? If so, they might be angry with me for taking them; once they cooled down (they are still warm from the heat of their mother) they would no longer be viable. I'd better wait and ask, maybe the girl I ran into earlier will know. Also, are these even hen eggs? They are a bit larger and bluer than I would have expected. Could they be duck eggs? Without the fowls in their nest it's hard to know. But duck eggs might be better to bring, oilier and more nutritious, even if they taste a little odd. I go a little farther and find another bank of nests that I think are those of the chickens; so I conclude that I was right about the ducks; the chicken eggs are also about three to a nest.

I table the egg question, but there's something else I need, something that is in the building next to the one I live on on top of the hill. I call up and say I am from a radio station, HKWAN—the stable does double as this radio station so I am not lying about that, but fibbing a bit by suggesting I am an employee of it calling on official business—and ask for the password to get into the building. I wince a bit as I ask, knowing that the girl will never give it away to someone calling up on the phone, and sure enough, she says she can't. But then I realize, of course I still know the password to my own building, and maybe I can get what I need from there? I no longer remember what it was I thought I needed though, and around this point the dream ends.

In dream one, I was in a city in the evening, possibly dusk. I think I was part of an envoy visiting a city; Dream Knowledge tells me that my group represents the historical lost Loulan Kingdom. Since I have little to no knowledge of actual Loulan culture, my brain just used a combination of Nepalese and Indian culture instead. I'm also not an official citizen of Loulan in this dream, but rather I tagged along with them as a sanctioned visitor.

The setting of the city we are in resembles Elizabethan architecture, but with a little more of a fantasy twist. It was a little vague at first, but slowly, the city resembled the city tile set from the game Neverwinter Nights (NWN; a game which I played the shit out of). I think the more I made that connection, the more the city took on that look. And that's when I became aware of our hired guard/guide.

So, background context: I played NWN alot on a RP-based player-made module, and one of the characters I played was an Autistic/Schizophrenic, or at least versions of the disorders based on my poor understanding of them at the time. I played this character long enough that he evolved to be the premiere fighter in this world, which made communicating with this character that much more frustrating because on one hand, he's a lovably difficult guy to talk to; yet on the other hand, you know he can murder you into bits on a whim.

ANYWAYS, D&D-masturexposition aside, yes, that character appeared in my dream. He was just another random guy at first, but my theory is that once my brain decided that the setting resembled NWN, it started filling in the gaps until suddenly, I realized who I'm looking at.

Two takeaways for me: 1) I think there was a point where I had the realization along the lines of "hey, I created you." Hopefully, this is a breakthrough to being able to question dream realities, because 2) I'm not sure how, but my POV shifts and I possess/become this character.

So, background/nerd masturbatory exposition two: The guards in the NWN module I played were designed to be ridonk OP as a way to keep a gaggle of maxed out characters from creating pure chaos during events. So of course, during OOC periods I'd go fight these guards just to see how fast I die; but I eventually figured out the right combination of gear, and proceed to massacre cities after cities with my guy -- because, y'know, GTA made me do it.

So ANYWAYS, I think brain memory kicked in; so for whatever reason, next thing I know, I'm fighting the whole city in my dream now, and somehow, I think I was the victim. The rest of the envoy was nowhere to be found. I wake up as the city burns around me.

The dream started as a different dream that I can't exactly remember but somehow it led into me laying in a bed watching a movie. Next thing I know, the dream was taking place in the movie. I was a character in the movie instead of myself. I don't even think I looked like myself. I have never had a dream where I was not myself, this was the first one where I played another character. (If anyone else has had a similar situation, I would love to hear about it). In this horror "movie" I was a greaser type guy protecting my gf/date while we waited to see a movie (I know, lol) from a masked man who stood and pointed at her, blaming her for something she must of did. I do not recognize anyone in the dream. I finally see the masked man and decide to run towards him. As I do this I start to become lucid, but not fully. I try to yell for my friends to grab him but I can't (Common in my dreams for me to have trouble talking). I can fee,l what I think is, my real life mouth trying to open and talk but it won't budge. I am scared and try and wake up but what happens is the "Other dream me" "watching" THIS movie stands up to look away from the movie. As if the "me" watching the movie had woken up. I was not completely aware or in control for ether dream bodies. I barely controlled my actions and did not have a huge "I'm dreaming" moment. I realize I need to learn to control my talking in dreams and also control my dream body without trying to move my real body.

Dream recall from today's naps.

There was some character selection screen, i was fiddling with settings. There was some reptiloid character face selected and i was able to use points to make custom mask/helmet from tiny pieces in very detail. After some time figuring out stuff, suddenly i start having weird physical sensations, i want to touch something and dream fades from game screen to my room, with dad right in front of me. He's not moving, like a statue and has no eyeballs. I go to balcony and try to run through door. The door becomes elastic and bounces me back, dream destabilizes quickly. I shout some stabilization commands and destabilization instantly stops. Suddenly something grabs me from the back and starts flying back and forth, at first i am confused but then like 'why not' and i start passively controlling movement of it. Shortly we fly a bit too high and go straight through the ceiling... and we are back through the floor in the same room. Shortly dream destabilizes again and i wake up.

Old LD from 8-8-07



We can do anything.... (Lucid Dream):

This one started as a typical school nightmare. I was in high school or college. I couldn't remember my schedule or my locker combination.I remember thinking... "Well, I'll just go to the office to pick up my schedule and locker combination." But I couldn't remember how to get to the office.

I had this tiny computer in my hand. I decided that I could find out my schedule by looking online for it. I tried to type . But I couldn't push the right keys. I tried over and over and was getting very frustrated.

I finally ended up ina classroom. The teacher was Cordelia (from Buffy the Vampire Slayer).

I sat down next to Xander. We had this huge assignment that we were having to work on together. I was very stressed about getting it done. I also realized at this point that I was supposed to be taking this test.

At the moment I started to panic, I realized that I was dreaming. I had this wonderful sense of relief. I didn't have to finish the assignment or take the test. I could walk away from it all.

I looked over at Xander. "Do you know what this means?" I asked him. "We can leave." I then took his hand and we floated out of the room.

We ended up in my front yard. I man I know was there (MM). MM asked Xander if he was an Eagle Scout. I told him that he had gotten very close.

Then some weird guys dressed up in Halloween costumes came into the yard. I could tell that they were going to cause trouble. Xander wanted to stay and confront them. But I pulled his arm and turned him to face me.

"Let's not fight them. This is just a dream. We can do anything"

At that, he looked at me and smiled and gave me the "ohyahbaby" look:

But in this dream I had other ideas. I told him, "Look at me..." And I took off flying in the sky, laughing.

He saw me flying "swimming style" and told me to make rockets come out of my feet--that we could go a lot faster if we did.

I looked at his feet and could see little flames shoot out of them as he suddenly took off fast. I then pressed my legs together very tense and straight and concentrated on flames coming out of my feet too. I knew it had worked when I started flying after Xander very quickly. I remember thinking that I really needed to remember this style of flying becasue it was really better than what I did most of the time.

Xander and I fly for a while until he wanted to stop and eat at a restaurant.

Old LD from 8-8-07





Kissing Jonathan (Lucid Dream):



I don't remember when this started. I just know that I suddenly saw Jonathon (a short somewhat geeky character in Buffy the Vampire Slayer).

Seeing him cause me to become lucid. I remembered kissing Xander and how much I enjoyed it. I decided that I to try the "detail" experiment again with Jonathan this time.....

I went up to him and looked into his face. I remember seeing his eyelashes. I reached up and touched the skin of his cheek with my thumb. I then pulled his face to me and started kissing his lips.

This dream was so inspired by my "Kissing Xander" dream that I even had the same problem with a little piece of food showing up in Jonathans mouth too. But I don't remember the same feelings of closeness with Jonathan as I had with Xander.

Old LD from 8-6-07



Kissing Xander (Lucid Dream):

I remember this starting out in a park. I was watching kids going around on a merry-go-round. Suddenly I saw Xander from Buffy the Vampire Slayer standing next to me....and I'm lucid (I'm not sure if seeing him was the trigger or not).

I remembered that I had been thinking recently that I don't remember "people details" in my LDs as much as I would like to. So I decided to use Xander as the person that I would notice detail on.

I walked close to him and stared into his face. I noticed that he looked exactly like he did on the show. I reached up and touched his cheek. I could feel the texture of his skin and a little stubble. I looked up into his big brown eyes.

I then decided to kiss him. As my lips touched his, I realized that not only did this feel like a real kiss, it also felt really good too.

Then I suddenly lose the dream and it fades away. Fortunately, I quickly realize that I'm still in the dream--that I had just had a False Awakening.

Xanderwas still there. I wanted to kiss him again. But I was embarrassed to go up to him and just kiss him. Then I had a clever idea. I decided to pretend that I thought I'm dreaming, and that would be why I was acting so boldly. So I said something to Xander about this being a dream. [This whole thing is strange because I was still lucid to some degree, but obviously part of me was mixed up.]

We were standing by or in a bathroom. I pulled him to me pulled him down so we were both kneeling by a bathtub.

I kissed his lips for about 30 seconds enjoying the sensation of our lips touching. Then the kiss deepened, and I could now feel the texture of his tongue. I couldn't get over how real the dream kiss felt.

Then of course things had to get funny. Suddenly there was a piece of food in my mouth. I pulled away and looked at him closer and saw that he had been eating cheese and he passed me some through the kiss. This didn't bother me though. I commented on it and we both laughed and kissed again. I felt completely at ease.

Me and Someone Else being held by someone (trapped). The man was trying to scare us. Rooms closed in on us a lot. Then he brought us to a room where we were supposed to watch a movie about a guy who had altimers. The other person I was with turned into Angel. We cuddled on the very big black couch while I played with an antique toy train. Then I don't remember how we got outside but I was skateboarding with Angel. After we were done skateboarding, Angel kicked her skateboard. I rolled in a curved right pattern hitting a couple cars. I ran for it but Connor got it (don't know who Connor is - dream character). He picked it up and handed it to me, and held out his had with change in it. it had two blue dimes. I then said that I only have seen a blude dime in my dreams, so I said we're dreaming. Se we all realized we were in my dream. Then Connor saw himself running with two girls inthe street making hour. He then said "I'm out." I said, "What's your name!?" "Connor!" Angel and Connor started laughing because one of the girls was a guy. "I'm out" meant he's gay. Then that's when I started spinning in the Lucid...

Lucid
Lucid for a couple minutes. I was dreaming that I was in a Lucid Dream by getting 2 dimes that were anodized blue, given to me by a guy named Connor that caught my skateboard. I then realized in the dream that I was dreaming, so I started spinning, along with Connor and Angel. Then we started running along side a building and I tried to fly, but my laws of physics still applied so I jumped, then floated down to my chest, then tried to have fun with Angel, but she was too sun burnt.

Date: 10/09/11
Time: ~6am
Memory Clarity: 8/10
So I'm strolling around my neighbourhood, with a friend I think, and then all of a sudden lucidity! I very much want to drive a car, so I stand near the middle of the road and attempt to grab the door handles and carjack them as they drive by. Understandably, this proves troublesome, especially because a lot of the cars veer away from me, either from trying not to hit me or not wanting to get carjacked, or a combination of both.

I give up on this, and head a bit further up the road, where I see some parked cars, so I try to open them but they're locked. I try too hard and one of their alarms go off. I run off, not too scared though cause I knew it was just a dream. Well, I was fairly certain... I had become worried that it might be real life and the cops were after me, so I checked my right hand and sure enough, a finger was missing and another had a large hole in it, so that the top of my finger was floating off my hand, Rayman-style.

Satisfied with that, I keep heading on down the road and as I come to a corner I think 'Dean is there!' and start shouting 'Hey Dean! Dean!' (Dean's my friend IRL) As I come around the corner there is a child of about age 10, riding a scooter. I shout at him, 'Hey Dean! You're Dean!' and so forth. His face and hair morph to become a fairly good approximation of Dean, however his height was still that of a 10 year old, and that bugged me immensly so I went off. I turned around towards him and in a final 'screw you', I threw a skateboard at him and then kept on going. Around the corner again, was a person the right height, so I morphed him into Dean and said 'Hey Dean! Hey Dean! Dean! Dean! Hey!' to which he responded 'WHAAAAATT!!!!' I took a minute to think of something to say, and decided to ask the meaning of life. So I say 'Hey Dean, what's the meaning of l--' He interrupts me sharply, shouting 'A!!!' (like a multiple choice answer), and I hear the sound of the typical 'wrong answer' buzzer from game shows. As well as this, I see some other friends from school heading down the road towards me, and they had their names floating above them, in the style of World of Warcraft, except their names were red, denoting that they were hostile. The combination of all these things shocked me so much that I woke up.

I'm fairly happy about this, as it is my first proper lucid dream for more than a year! What was strange though was how indistinct my transition to lucidity was. In other lucid dreams, suddenly I'd realise 'I'm dreaming!' and then I'd feel very excited and weightless and light-headed. In this dream however, I was walking around and simply acknowledged, 'yes I'm lucid now' and continued on as ever. Its probably a good thing, as I maintained an extremely good level of control of the dream. It was also very vivid and realistic, hence my worry that it was real life.

1. My dad had made a scavenger hunt for my mom, and I was helping her with it along with my little brother and sister. Mom was getting more and more emotional as we went, and by the time we found the last clue I could tell that the ending was going to be really special. I decided to wait behind, and told my siblings to wait too, so mom could experience the ending by herself. However, she got to a certain spot about 100 feet away from us and picked up a shovel and started digging, so I decided to go help her. About 45 degrees to the right of her from where I was standing, I saw a shovel under a little roof-with-no-walls, whatever you call those things. I picked it up (it was red) and turned to look at my mom, but she pointed to something that I couldn't see, because something was in the way, but I knew that it was a shovel. So I dropped the shovel I had and went and picked up the other one, which was blue. Then, I went and helped her dig. Buried maybe a foot under the ground was a red and gold chest, which was medium-size. We opened it, and dad had poured an incredible amount of love into this treasure chest. The love poured over us and completely overwhelmed us, and we both started sobbing. It felt amazing. After a minute or so, mom shut the chest. We all got in the car, which was parked a little ways away, and started driving. I was still crying uncontrollably. I was in the passenger seat. We pulled up to a stoplight in the left lane (but still on the right side of the road) and another car pulled up in the right lane. I was already looking out the window, so the car just pulled into my view. In the driver seat was a girl who was maybe in her 20's, but she was sitting on the front of the seat, and a young child was sitting behind her. They looked alike: they both had brown hair and kind of round faces. They both started looking at me, and so I covered my face because I didn't want to see anyone and I didn't want anyone to see me, but just as I was covering my face, I noticed the way the younger girl (she looked like she was maybe 7 or 8) was looking at me. It was a very interesting look, like she wasn't even human, it contained something like coolness or aloofness, but also compassion. Her eyes were very unnatural, or maybe the eyes themselves weren't unnatural, but they jumped out at me, so that I felt like she was actually floating in the space between the two cars, and they were kind of swirling. They kept changing color, from brown to green to blue, to slightly orangeish, to purple, cycling through a bunch of colors, but on certain colors they would sort of flare up, not in an angry sense, but they just seemed more luminous, brighter, and they peaked when they turned to blue, and I felt total understanding in her eyes. Her mouth seemed to say everything at once, but somehow it wasn't disapproving. It's hard to explain, but she seemed to be giving a commentary on everything in the world just by her mouth, and there was positive and negative, but the negative wasn't negative, and the positive was no different from the negative, and both sides sort of combined into an intellectual or at least informed expression of love that dizzied me with how intelligent and fashionable (not good-looking, but sort of... stylish) and somehow she was very beautiful in a strange, nonhuman sort of way, in the same way that you might call a cat beautiful. I think she was a cherub. I noticed all of this in the split second that I was covering my face, or rather I had already seen it but it took me a second to process it, so that by the time I was thinking about her I already had covered my face. And I was still crying, but I sort of slid my hands down my face until I wasn't covering my eyes, but I was still covering my nose and mouth, and we looked at each other, and... were in a sort of communion. During this second look, even her hair was changing colors, gold and dark brown and orange, it flared up just like her eyes when it turned orange, and she opened her mouth and I felt like I was going to die, and then my car started going, leaving the other car behind, but I was only partially aware that she wasn't even there anymore, because she was sort of burnt into my mind. The last thing I remember is my vision going dark, with her hair turning fiery red (she wasn't even there anymore, this was from the after-image) and turning into a blanket, which was flat like a floating square, but tilted a little bit, so that the right bottom corner was lower than the left one, and then it was coming towards me, enveloping my vision, and still rotating clockwise, until it totally covered me.


Definitely one of the best dreams I have ever had.




2. My second dream, after I woke up and went back to sleep, was much more prosaic. I was in a building, and I was standing there, and I was supposed to go somewhere, but I wasn't, don't know why, but anyway there was this girl, who looked kind of like a fish and a lollipop put together, sounds weird but that's the only way to describe her (she was kind of weird looking). She was doing the same thing as me, just standing there, and I had a feeling we had a lot in common. I said hi and we had a pretty long conversation which I don't remember, but I was thinking, we could definitely be pretty good friends, so I asked her what her name was, and she said "Legack". I thought, that's a strange name but whatever, and typed it into my phone, and said, let's swap phone numbers. She said sure, and told me her phone number (I don't remember it) and I typed it into my phone, and she typed mine into her phone, although I don't remember actually telling her my number. Then (I have an iphone, and when you're entering a new contact on iphone, there are like a million slots where you can type little facts about the person) I started scrolling through the facts, and they looked really complicated. They were all computer-programming-y, and had to do with how texting worked. For example, a lot of them were slots where you could type some code saying 'if this person says a, display it on my phone as b'. I was scrolling through them, saying, "okay, I don't think we need to do any of this" but she said "no it's important". So we stood there for a while, both looking at my phone trying to figure how to type the right codes in, but we couldn't really figure it out.

I am riding in the car with my mom, brother, sister, and aunt. We're going to the park to pick apples. Suddenly, I have a vision which lasts maybe 2 seconds before fading away. It is of some sort of goddess-type being. She is not really a goddess, maybe a minor deity. She is young, has long blue hair, and was wearing a blue and white dress. She is floating in front of the car and sort of going at the same pace as us. She is very large (not overweight), kind of like is you scaled up a regular person to two-and-a-half or three times the height, keeping the rest proportional. She is also two dimensional, and kind of tilted backwards, so that the top of her recedes a little because it's farther away. She is holding up one arm, in a pose that is vaguely similar to the statue of liberty holding her torch, except my spirit is more expressive and joyful in her pose. Her facial expression is kind of complex. Her mouth is open a little, indicating that she is full of joyful wonder, but also that she is shocked and upset, and she exudes something like fear or caution. Anyway, she's holding up her hand as if she is holding a torch or something, only nothing is in her hand. I know that she is supposed to be holding an apple, so I realize that she is warning me that the park we're going to won't have apples. I express concern aloud (not referring to my vision, just saying that I'm worried that there won't be any apples) and suggest that we go to a different park, but my aunt overrules me.

Then, my brother says a phrase of three nonsense words. We're trying to figure out what he is talking about, and my aunt says, "it's like a test of star wars knowledge (the flavor of it was that it was a question that had started out as a riddle one star wars fan had posed to another, but sort of became a stock phrase star wars fans would pull out to indicate their hardcoreness, and to see if anyone else knew what they were talking about, so it sort of became a greeting between star wars fans.) The question is, 'do you know what kind of apple they ate on (such-and-such a planet, don't remember the name)?'" Then she turned to me and said, "You know, right?" I was horrified that someone would suspect me of having such knowledge. I said nothing and sort of retreated into myself, thinking about the goddess.