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I had a REALLY strange dream last night where I was riding between my mom and sister in granddad's old Reliant. This was the first time I have had any dream about this in over 5 months. What made this dream so strange was that is was set in the present time, but there were parts of the dream that incorporated memories of when I was 15.

When the dream started, I was driving my Jaguar F Pace which is what I drive now. My girlfriend was in the front passenger seat and my mom and sister where riding in the back seat. We were definitely in the present day, because my face covering was handing from the rearview mirror and my girlfriend had hers on top of the glove box. I was driving all of us back to mom's house.

When we were getting close to home, mom asked me to run her by the Gulf Station because she needed to pick-up the Reliant. I changed course and a few minutes later, I was pulling into the parking lot of the old Gulf Service Station where my parents used to have their cars serviced. As I turned in, I saw the Tan Reliant was backed into a parking space in the gravel lot in back facing out towards to gas pumps. Both the Reliant and the Gulf Station both looked exactly like I remembered them looking when I was a teen. When I looked in front of the station, I saw a line of people wearing face covering standing on X's 6 feet apart waiting to go in and pay. The station still had to old pumps I remember that did not give you the option of paying at the pump.

As I pulled in, my girlfriend reminded me that she needed to run by the mall to pick-up some thing she had ordered and suggested I let her drive my SUV there and I ride home with my mom and sister. Since I really didn't want to deal with the mall, I agreed and got out and handed her my key fob. As she drove away, I walked towards the Reliant where my mom and sister were and discovered that I had left my face covering in my SUV.

As I walked towards the Reliant, mom was pulling keys from her purse an unlocking the front passenger side door. She suggested my sister and I go ahead and get in the car while she went in to pay since the station was trying to encourage social distancing. She then opened the front passenger side door and then passed me walking toward the gas station to wait in line to pay while my sister stood beside the open door. I told her she could sit up from that I would be fine riding in the back seat.

When I got to my sister, she rolled her eyes and pointed to the back seat telling me it was full of junk and we would all 3 have to squeeze in the front seat. I hesitated near the door waiting for my sister to get in and move over to the middle. While I was standing there waiting, my sister pointed to the tan vinyl bench seat and said "you're riding in the middle". I really did not want to have to ride in the middle, but didn't really feel like arguing with my sister and know we were only going a few miles and I would be riding between them for less than 10 minutes.

I reluctantly leaned into the car and threw a box of tissues and umbrella that were in the middle of the front seat to the back seat and than sat down on the seat, scooted over to the middle, and buckled the tan lap belt around my waist. My sister then sat down beside me in the passenger seat, closed her door, and buckled her seatbelt.

Not long after my sister closed her door, the car started to reek really bad. I looked through the windshield and saw that mom was still standing on and X out in the parking lot and knew there were still several people in front of her waiting to pay and that we would be waiting a while for mom.

While we were in the car waiting, my sister kept talking non-stop. First she was talking about our dad who had passed way about a year ago and was trying to get me to share my feelings which made me really uncomfortable. As she kept on talking, I noticed her breath really reeked like it did in the earlier dreams and it was all I could to to avoid it. As my sister kept pressing me to share my feelings about dad's passing, I was finally able to change the subject by getting my sister to talk about some concerns I had about mom's wellbeing and staying safe during COVID. Because the line to pay was so long, my sister and I talked through several things while we waited for mom to get in the car. Since the conversation we were having was an important one, I was having an easier time dealing with her breath than I did when she was trying to get me to share my feelings about my dad.

When I was talking to my sister about some of my concerns with mom, she poked my ribs with her elbow and told me mom was coming. I looked through the passenger side window and saw mom walking through the parking lot towards the Reliant. She got sidetracked for a little while when she saw a friend pulling up to a gas pump, but soon she was fumbling through her purse for the keys and then unlocking the driver side door, opening it up, and the sitting down in the empty driver seat on my left.

Once she was seated, she put the black key in the ignition and the car made a buzzing sound until she closed her door. She then spent what seemed like forever getting all of the mirrors adjusted. As she was doing this right in front of me, I noticed that she was really starting to show some age. As she griped to me and my sister about how long the line was and how slow it moved, I got a whiff of her breath and noticed it smelled worse than my sisters did. I tried to speed things along telling my mom and sister we needed to get back to the house before my girlfriend got back from the mall since she didn't have a house key, but mom didn't get the hint and kept taking about the slow line.

When mom was finally done adjusting the mirrors and talking about the wait to pay, she turned the black key in the ignition to start the car. The engine turned over several times but then was replaced by the annoying buzzing sound and a dash full of red lights. Mom turned the key a few more times, but each time the reliant didn't start up and I heard the buzzing sound and saw the red lights. I tried to suggest that we get someone at the Gulf Station to take a look at the car, but mom snapped at me that she could get it stated and didn't want to waste their time. She then started trying to pump on the accelerator before each crank, but the car still failed to start-up and I would hear the buzzing sound and see the red lights on the dash before mom again would try to pump on the accelerator and then turn the key. I started worrying that my girlfriend would get back to mom's house before mom could get the car started and snapped out of the dream while I was focusing more on what would happen if my girlfriend got to the house before us and less on mom trying to start the dream.

This dream was really unusual because it was a combination of the present and the past. The dream took place in the current time with us living in the COVID world. However, the Reliant was just like it was when I was 15 and the Gulf Station looked just like I remember it looking as a teen. In real life, my parents got rid of the Reliant after I graduated high school and go a new car and the Gulf Station was torn down several years ago and replaced with a BP convenient store. I though it was really odd how this dream blended the present and the past together.

21st June 2020

Fragment:

My phone needed charging and I was at home with H. I went to get a charger for my phone and plugged it in; there was arcing/sparking and a flash.

I opened the back of the phone and took the cable off it and saw that the battery had bulged slightly in one place. And the cable specs said it provided 2.9v rather than what it supposedly needed, 5v.

Fragment:

Some bit around my home town. I'm in the car, with mom and dad. Mom complains about being nearly 11:30 even though the dash says 10:30. Mom was complaining because we had to be there (at the destination?) and my siblings weren't ready or in the car with us yet.

Dad took us to some cafe, or restaurant? Near where the pools in my old home town are.

Fragment:

In the kitchen at our current home. I was going to take codeine, but it had been prescribed for something other than pain, like allergies?

---

Notes:
- The part in the car with mom and dad is a typical scenario that might happen when we all still lived together, when I was a kid/teen.
- At the time I'm making these notes (10th of August), I am on medication that means that I can't take codeine too; this would probably be a good cue for RCing since I know it would be dangerous to actually take the codeine currently.

I’m in my car with Melissa, driving us somewhere. I think I need gas, so she tells me where to go. She tells me to go left through this roundabout and then to take a right, and I do so. I notice a car coming to the roundabout and think it’s not going to yield to me because everyone assumes no one will take the second exit. Indeed it doesn’t, speeding in front of me. I’m driving down a hill now. The area is very green, with many leafy trees and a large grass area. There’s a large pond in the grassy area. We are now swimming in it, and the surrounding area doesn’t seem as green anymore. A few people in kayaks pass us, too closely I think, and say not to fish/swim in here, humorously. I jokingly say we won’t. I think he meant not to submerge ourselves, which, looking at the murky water, I’m not going to do anyway. We’re out now and on the sandy shore. I’m laying face down on either a towel or my shirt so I can dry off.




I’m on my bed with Melissa and I think we’re each doing something separately. On my record player I am listening to a Brokedown Palace from 1972. Bobby is telling the crowd to shut up and says “oh, I don’t wanna sing” to the melody of the song. I chuckle at the historical interest of it, and Melissa makes a comment too. Now I go out to see if the air is on. I think it’s been running all night, same as the water. We also watch an animated movie with a twist ending or something that suggests a sequel.
*Last night I meant to turn the water off but kept forgetting.

11th May

Dream:Earliest dream. I was in some place in the countryside, the dream was very vivid. I had my boots on, some pants, some t-shirt and my leather jacket. H was walking with me, I remember feeling the gravel beneath my feet.

In the dream I was recognising the place. I'd been here before in some other dream. This prompted me to tell H about it and he sort of dismissed it and even though I tried doing some reality checks with my hands, I didn't become aware of the dream state.

In my dream mind, this place wasn't exactly like how I remembered it from the other dream anyway. There was a gravel road and some buildings and some gravel plots along it, but the original place I was remembering had a normal road and it carried on, it didn't end abruptly like this gravel road. It reminded me of the southern areas of my country. There were pine trees and short grass that looked a bit dry. The dirt was fine and dusty and caramel coloured. The sky was a little bit cloudy but mostly clear and it seemed like the sun was setting. I remember looking all around me to try and identify anything from the original dream, but I felt there was nothing. The surroundings looked vast and vague at the same time.

After walking along the road with H for a while, we eventually came to a very large gravel lot, like a parking lot, clearly meant for that use. I remember H telling me to wait here. He had to get some book, or something, from town? I said I'd wait. I didn't know what I'd do in the meantime and I had the feeling that it would be a long time. Then my awareness transitioned to some other place.

A dream city. H wasn't here and though I have forgotten the dream plot exactly, there was something about a family that had to get to where I just was (the gravel/pine tree area). I was here to speed things along somehow? Something about a gang going after this family.

Then details are missing; I remember getting into a car, a silver convertible and also trying to fix down a panel on the boot or something. Then the mom of this family, who was driving, started the car before I'd even sat down and put a seatbelt on. She raced through the streets and I had little balance, tipping backwards and holding the open and swaying door with my right hand. I was partially sat on her son's legs, eventually he managed to help me in, but it took a while.

Some other part of the same dream. The chronology of the sequences is muddled. I went into a tall building and I remember carrying my black backpack and climbing lots of stairs. I didn't feel tired at all and my legs didn't hurt. Along the way, some young adult (early 20s) tugged on my backpack to have an easier time climbing. I resent that he'd done that but I said nothing and only gave him a look that made it clear to him not to do it again.

The staircase was very much like the one from my university. Very narrow, but no lift at each landing. Eventually I got to a pretty high floor, and it looked like my virtual gallery in some sense. There was a high open space that my fear of heights creep in a little, because there were no railings at all. I remember wondering what H would think of that.

Just behind the stairwell I'd come from, was a platform/floor and I climbed over its ledge without too much effort. It led down a dark unlit and narrow corridor. At the end of it was another stairwell, to my left. It went both up and down. There was a door directly in front of me. A white service door to my right after a short and narrow yard-long hall. Light came through the edges of this white service door and the stairs going up also allowed some natural light in from above, but not much, as it was still very dark in here.

On the stairs, a bunch of young adults (early 20s again) were sat on the steps. They looked at me, but more like through me. I looked back for a moment, but then ignored them. I tried opening the door in front of me but it was well shut and locked. I went back through the narrow corridor I'd come from and then skipped over the gap with the stairs and took a left turn. My mind blocked out the open space with no railings.

There were corridors and rooms this way. Many contrasts of dark and narrow halls with natural light from some windows. The floor was carpeted, not sure what colour, but I remember a cleaning lady. It just looked like a hotel in many regards but the rooms belonged to specific people who worked here or something, like an office area in a university. I can't recall the rest of the dream.

---

Notes:
- In many ways, the last part of the dream was just some mish-mash of my first university's building and my general concepts of offices and temporary living spaces. The presence of the people in their early 20s ties in with the "university" feel.
- It can feel a bit annoying to ask H about the reality and have him only make me dismiss what I'm thinking about, though since then I have tried to imagine the situation occurring differently.
- My leather jacket seems to have been a recurring feature for some recent dreams but I haven't found any particular reason why just yet, since I have not worn it in a long time. The only thing that comes to mind is that feels like a bit of a shame that I just let it sit unused for quite a long time, but on the other hand it is usually too hot for me to wear it.
- Dreams where physical activity occurs are always refreshing for me in some mental sense. Being able to do intense physical activity such as climbing many flights of stairs can feel rewarding and the amount of inordinate pain I would get from doing it in real-life makes it feel like a waste of my energy and time. In dreams my low thresholds of pain don't really materialise and it is often the only time I get a break from feeling pain and discomfort throughout a day.

8th May

Dream:

I was in the car with H. H was driving very fast and race-like, even though we weren't in a rush to get anywhere. Pretty close one between a double length bus and a car. I remember the tyres screeching a lot all the way and I asked H why. He said it was because they brand new Michelin tyres.

It was like my native country and town. Eventually we arrived at a place, ground floor of a building, in front of it was like a petrol station. The place we walked into was like a school, for kids between the ages of eight and ten. H and I had been here earlier in the dream to drop off a keyboard temporarily. Now, we were here to pick it up again. I think the kids were actually teens in the earlier part of the dream. One of the kids now, was asking why we had to take the keyboard away again and H explained it had only been meant as a temporary thing anyway. H asked if anyone had played the keyboard. Some kids said they hadn't, somehow clearly afraid of being reprimanded, even though it was unlikely, but they also said they had practised at home like H had taught and demonstrated.

I didn't speak much at all, H talked to the kids a lot. Somehow reminded me of my geometry teacher, trying to actively get the kids to think and take interest in things. Eventually, a lady walked in, the teacher who runs the place. She was happy to see the kids entertained and it was as if we'd known her and vice versa for years. I remember noticing I had my black leather jacket and my regular boots on. I think in the dream we both became distracted from our objective of getting the keyboard. There was also a set of keys we'd left in the earlier visit, but we weren't being able to find them. The layout was different from the earlier visit.

Scraps:

Grandma from mom's side, dad and I, talking. I remember she was holding a golden cross that she wore around her neck. I made mental note of the size of the cross, almost too big to be held by one hand alone.

---

Notes:
- I don't believe H has actually ever bought Michelin-branded tyres.

I am outside and walking through a neighborhood with a few others. It seems like we’re doing something for a school assignment. We’re looking for a certain house and come up on one that I think is right because it looks familiar. The house is white with a light blue trim. It’s slightly downhill from the street and is placed horizontally on the lot. The garage is open, revealing all of the stuff inside that looks familiar. The number is something like 150105. I look on the map on my phone, and it shows us about halfway down this street. Looking to the left, I see that the street starts to incline somewhat significantly, telling them I don’t remember going uphill. I tell them I can also search Canvas to see if it’s the right one. I do so and don’t think I find anything. We end up deciding that it’s the right house. We go inside, and it’s kind of empty and dim. The others take an open riser staircase to the second floor. I stay back and then walk back to the front door. The owner has arrived - it’s David from Discology and his son. They’re walking up and I meet them at the glass sliding door. I don’t think much is said, and I guess he doesn’t find it weird that I’m in his house. I say something about the others, and I think he goes to look for them, using a flashlight. I think it is somewhat intense.




I’m at work and going on a break. I need to use the bathroom, and we have to use Sani Huts. they are scattered all around this parking lot, and I head for a line of them up against a fence. There is a handicapped one, which I take because it is larger, because it is not busy out here, and because there are more in case someone needs it. I am relieved when I step in and find it clean and without much of a scent. I use some toilet paper to put the seat down. I think I am just sitting on top of the seat now, and I notice a window in here. Through it, I see a bed, upon which sit several people. I notice two girls, a couple, what look very similar if not almost the same. They are reclined, tan, and naked from the waist up. Currently, each has her arms above her head, which gently lifts her breasts and perky nipples. They begin taking off each other’s underwear and kissing, so I take out my phone and start taking a video on Snapchat. I can’t believe I can see this from here and no one can see in. I briefly contemplate its potential. I end up in another Sani Hut now, and it has the same kind of window. This one seems to be at the end of a dirt road or parking lot. To the left is an old station wagon with an open back. There are one or two women and some kids (maybe on a sports team?) approaching it - it must be theirs. One of the women, Asian?, is wearing a Grateful Dead shirt I’ve never seen before. It’s black and is tasteful; it also looks like it could be homemade. I think it’s cool that she’s into them, I think because it’s a change from the typical white male. They all start getting into the back of the car, which has blankets and I think string lights. They start playing music and smoking weed out of a lightbulb. One guy, Asian, takes a quick but large hit. I know that I don’t smoke, but they seem to be having a great time, which is fine by me. Now, I’m walking out to the Sani Huts again. It is raining fairly hard, which I barely feel. I’m walking over the rocks in a median and notice it pooling up here as well as along the sides of the road.

I am at Melissa’s house (though this house looks nothing like it). I’m in a larger, open living room that I think is mostly barren except for a short, wooden shelf with a larger TV on it. I think it’s off right now. The place seems somewhat dirty and doesn’t have the feeling of a home. In here is her mom, someone unfamiliar, and a guy that looks like Ryan. He has those same drug-addled features, and I instantly dislike him. I think the other is the same, and, sadly, there is something a little off about her mom too. They all seem to be arguing about something dumb, and I sense that it’s going to lead to a fight. Her mom starts talking to me for a while, but I’m eventually able to sneak away. I end up in a small kitchen with two counters, one at a diagonal to the other. Each has a sink, and I recognize the one facing the TV as the one her mom likes to use. I’m washing my hands in the other, notice I’ve left a small pool on the tan tile, and leave it there. I figure I can go this way to sneak off to Melissa’s room, and head that way. Suddenly, an old lady in a thin, pink bathrobe bursts out of a bathroom and rushes past me without a word. It startles me. Now I’ve made it to Melissa’s room (different) and notice that it’s kind of messy. She’s sitting at a desk in the corner, wearing what is either pajamas or lingerie, a matching blue set. They look like satin and lace. We start talking and I think I’m sitting or something, as she comes over, puts a leg up and pulls the bottom to the side, and I start licking her. I’ve barely started when a noise just outside the door causes her to jump back and straighten herself up at the desk again. I sit up normally, but am laughing as Brooke comes in. I don’t worry about it, as I could’ve been laughing at a joke for all she knows. There is a mirror across from me, and looking in it I move a portion of my hair along the part.




Michelle is driving me and Melissa somewhere, and she is driving terribly. She starts driving the wrong way and only us telling her causes her to realize it. The cars that were coming slow and stop for her as she reverses. Having not reversed far enough, she hits the landscaped divider and then decides to drive right over it. She makes it to the other side, but we are still going the wrong way. We eventually end up going the right way, as I notice an old fashioned sheriff car turn right in front of us. I think ‘oh god’ or something similar and hope for the best.




I am sitting in my car that is backed into the driveway. I know it is 6 am; it is light out but the sun is not up yet. The mountains glow yellow, pink, and blue. I had woken up, started listening to an early Pink Floyd show, and then came out here. I notice a larger family on the street in front of me. There are about three or four kids of different ages. All are wearing shorts and tee shirts and look happy and ready to go. They also look like they’re deciding which way to go, pointing and looking back and forth. The next thing I know, they’re walking up the lawn towards our house. I am on edge for a second, but then think they’re probably just going into the communal area. I’m now back inside and see my things on the bed where I left them. I think it’s my laptop and a dream journal. This room seems square and somewhat empty. I think about finishing the show, but Melissa is awake. Surprised, I ask if she feels awake, and she enthusiastically says yes.




I’m in a parking lot with some others. It seems dim to dark out. We are secretly going to put a sticker or two on Felicia’s car (a white car or truck?). The sticker is three words, I think, including ‘fuck’ or ‘fucking’.

Mostly just one long dream and a small disjointed fragment from an early awakening.

---

Dream Fragment:

Something about a physical vault for porn; it was a gazebo-like building in the middle of a tiny island surrounded by a lot of water, but there were some nearby cliffs. I remember seeing it from there. H was in the dream and I remember feeling aroused from some of the images. I was sorting them, like they were in a computer file system. I wanted to finish what I was doing and spend some time together with H after I was done.

Dream:

Me and H were in the car. We were somewhere in Northern Ireland, we'd gotten there by boat but I don't have a dream memory of the boat trip. We drove through a few small villages. I remember someone telling me or talking about the weather, about how this little village here was always damp, wet, and cold. There were some very curvy roads, surrounded by nice and scenic woodland. Along the way two old men were just waddling about the literal middle of the road and I told H to slow down and be careful, since I was afraid we might hit someone like them. H didn't seem too bothered but slowed a bit.

We went up some hills, eventually we arrived somewhere. We came here for an appointment apparently. Initially in the dream I was confused, because I didn't remember having any appointments coming up soon, but it was for H actually. I remember being at the lobby/desk and "checking in", I was asked for a name and gave mine, and I remember looking away at a clock on a wall and saying it was a 12:30 appointment. The man said something but I don't remember what, but everything was OK anyway.

Then I went into a bathroom. It didn't have lights? But it had some natural light, but it was still dim. I don't remember what I was wearing up to this point, but now I was changing clothes, getting dressed as if going to bed. I had no pants on or anything but my top was the same one I actually slept with. The dark green one, which is long enough that it covered my private areas, so I just walked out of the bathroom not caring too much about it, walking more or less straight ahead, as I could see H sitting on a chair in a room, through a door. Understandably I did get some strange looks and glances from the nurses/staff as I walked towards that room.

I walked into the room and expected the therapist would close the door. She didn't, but then it closed itself, or I did it. The room was small and plain with a typical office-like look, but it only had two walls, the one with the door, and the one behind where me and H were sitting. There was no ceiling and beyond the two missing wall sections was a green area, and some kind of stadium? I remember waiting for the therapist to say something. At this point, I was still in some dream-confusion about whether this appointment was for myself or H. But then H spoke and I encouraged it too, so they'd talk about some anxiety stuff. This part of the dream recall is a bit vague for some reason but some people across the way interrupted the therapist somehow; they shouted, calling for attention or notifying her of something?

She seemed embarrassed and also unsure of herself. I remember she looked a bit like H's sister, but was naturally blonde and had at least twenty or more years on us. A bit out of nowhere, her superior showed up, a tall man in a suit, juxtaposing with her naturally small stature. He put his hand on her shoulder in a comforting way and told her something, but they were too far for me to hear.

At some point through all of that I remember noticing my bare left knee. Before sleeping, the past night, my knee had been having burning sensations and hypersensitivity. When I looked at my knee now in the dream, I could see a circle of strange bumps, with somewhat concentric lines of more bumps on the inside of that circle.

There's a transition of some kind. All of a sudden we're elsewhere, home maybe? I tell H I can't remember how we got here. I tell H that I have no recall of a trip back here and I feel confused, but do not remember to question reality.

The next thing I remember is we're in a mine of some kind. Dark, poorly lit, but the lights are a warm colour. Details are missing. At some point, I see a grenade on the floor, over a grate of some kind. Oddly enough, I'm unafraid of the grate despite realising there's a bottomless pit under it, and I see the grenade still has its safety pin. I grab it and inspect it. I remember H talking to me and me to H as I was doing this. On the grenade, with the bad lighting, I try to read for instructions; although I have a general idea of how it should work, this grenade seemed very small, I could make a fully closed fist around it. The only writing I could see on it was a lot number of some kind. It was difficult to read because of the light and the fact that it was just sort of embossed into the surface, there was no contrasting pigment. It read "l624" or something.

Disappointed by the lack of instructions, I threw it gently over onto a nearby tunnel that was lit by a lamp. I didn't want to hold on to it if I couldn't be sure how it worked. But then I detonated it or something, but while there was a big blast, there wasn't much light or noise. Virtually no damage occurred either.

Then I remember walking up a slope in the mine with H, and as we were about to exit the mine (which in the context of the dream was like our hideout) for some reason, a woman about our age showed up. She just walked in but was not hostile to us. A small-ish bear and a wolf of the same size followed her. She had semi-blonde and very curly hair. We both spoke to her and the animals went into the mine to sleep; H stayed speaking to her and I followed the animals, finding them asleep. I gently woke the wolf up and he growled at me, I was unafraid and let him feel that I was happy he was interacting with me. I let him sniff my hand and then he seemed to like me. Then I got some notifications on some interface overlay that the girl favourited some things I'd posted? It didn't make much sense. But now she like me and H more.

The last bit of the dream is kind of gone from memory now, but it involved some refugees she was helping and that we were then helping too.

---

Might edit in some notes later but a bit tired of typing.

I am with Brooke in what looks like Mom’s backyard. I see a woman in a police uniform or something similar walking along the top of the fence, left to right. She does this easily. There is also a uniformed man off to the left that is just hanging back. I take out my phone and start taking a video of the woman. This causes her to become angry and ask what I’m doing. I tell her I’m just taking a video, knowing there’s nothing she can do about it. I go around to the front and see a cop? car in the driveway (the driveway seems longer and more level). I take a picture of the license plate and the VIN. She watches me, still irritated, but does nothing.

I haven't been keeping on top of my DJing but recall has remained fairly consistent throughout. Still go through my recalled dreams every morning even if I don't make note of them.

Today several dreams, some fragments of them here. I think the order is more or less the same as the order of their happening.

---

Dream Fragment:

H was driving. Remember being in a town like where I'm originally from. Night time or just past sunset. There was a previous dream in which I was in the car with dad, so perhaps this was kind of a repeat? But in the dream with dad, I took over driving for a bit and somehow sort of spun it out of control and bounced it on its sides, only for it to land fine and carry on anyway.

Dream Fragment:

Was at a supermarket. Don't remember exactly everything I got or did, but do remember that by the end of the sequence I was looking through some kind of storage cupboards for tins of canned meat or cheap baked beans. Probably brought on from having a craving for meat an hour before bed.

I also remember that the supermarket was poorly lit or dark, but had a warm (in a nice sense) atmosphere to it.

Dream Fragment:

This one was obviously because of playing Stellaris recently. Was managing some kind of space empire and the interface looked weird. I remember sending fleets to certain star systems on the empire's borders or beyond.

In the dream I can remember talking to someone, we were discussing the choices I could potentially make with a unique society altering technology, which would let me restructure some native traits of the species. For whatever reason I remember picking some choice that would let me sacrificie "Noo"s (Pops, essentially?) for some kind of benefit, but I don't remember what. Something about this melded with archetype memories of Master of Orion II.

Dream Fragment:

Something about being on a slide. I don't think I myself was in the dream, more like it was a scene from a show. It was the "past" (there was some time travel transition in a previous dream) and this kid and his dad were in this covered slide. It was a very long slide but they were going slowly, and there were two other men, friends of that dad. They were all discussing holidays or something. Outside, visible through some tiny porthole windows on the slide, was a guy on a red motorcycle or something?

The dad and the kid were saying something about making fun of the motorcycle guy because they were somehow faster going from one end to the other than he'd been.

I remember a dark BMW or dark Mercedes somewhere. The weather was grey and overcast but fairly bright.

---

Notes:
- I have already noticed this a few times in the past, but usually around an hour or so before bed, whatever I do or happens seems to be more likely to appear in some form, even vaguely, in my morning dreams. Namely the looking through cupboards with a craving thing, in the case of this DJ entry.
- In the space empire dream, I remember being dissatisfied with the whole sacrificing thing, mostly because it seemed to just be massively inconvenient; I had the feeling I was locked into the choice or something.

Some dream fragments. Initially had better recall but didn't manage to type as much as I wanted in my initial notes and so recall just faded for the most part. Some pre-sleep journaling too because I haven't really done that a lot.

Although I have had recall of dreams from all the previous nights since my last DJ entry, I haven't been making notes in the morning for the most part. H's alarm can be distracting and causes me to lose details sometimes, which puts me off from trying to write, besides all the other usual issues.

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Pre-sleep:

Some stray thoughts about something lead me to loosely focusing thoughts on memories from my childhood, primarily from the ages between three and five. Somewhat vivid memory of the balcony, but details missing and wrong. I hoped my focus on these memories would perhaps carry on into dreaming and allow me to explore the memories a bit better. Some recall of trying to place myself in the height I would have been, meaning a different point of view from the lower glass panes rather than the higher ones. I remember having other conscious thoughts about the memories but I have forgotten the specifics now.

Dream Fragment:

Was having a discussion with a girl about my age, we were talking about buck/boost transformers and how they saved power or something. I was doing a poor job of explaining and getting to the point I wanted to make and so she started to think I was trying to make some sort of sales point without evidence. I was at some kind of hotel? Initially I was speaking to her from a hallway that had these sliding doors to the outside; she was out on a courtyard of some kind, under a summer/pool tent of sorts.

I'd met her at a fairly high floor in the building, 30 something? I had been going up through the floors using stairwells with my family up to this point, but I think they just continued on without me. I think near the end the girl's form shifted between herself and some male dream character.

Before I got to the hotel, I remember travelling with my family through some highway, dad was driving. At some point we weren't in the car anymore but sort of still on the road. I remember my parents asking T if he should put an extra layer/top on. L made some comment? We were on the start of a mountain path or something. We were apparently going some place cold, I remember a dull grey day, misty. Reminds me now of some real beach or coastal area I've visited in waking reality many years ago with my family.

Dream Fragment:

Called an aunt. Brief conversation, remember noting it took no more than five or six minutes. Vague visual recall of orange phone screen?

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Notes:

- The orange phone screen was most likely a detail of a home phone; either the one we have now or the one from my parents' house.
- The highways in the dream remind me of the ones from Fallout, possibly because of playing it recently.
- Not entirely sure what brought on the context of discussing electronics but possibly just a more obvious intrusion of information consolidation processes; my apparent ignorance on the subject in the dream perhaps being caused by the fact I rarely discuss the specific topic in question.

A particularly long dream. I had other dreams from earlier awakenings, but again I did not make any notes because of how tired I felt, it felt like too much effort. The other dreams weren't as vivid as the long one anyway.

Edit: Self-memo: The original dream notes for this dream are not as extensive because I stopped writing them when I started writing this DJ entry to try and get as much detail from the lingering dream memories.

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Dream:

Starting from the end back; when I was woken up by H placing their hand on my head and speaking to me in waking life, I was walking with some determination towards a parked yellow car in the distance, at an earlier location that was prominent in several parts of the dream earlier; beside the car were shows, yellow too and this was important to me in the dream for some reason. On waking up I had a slight annoyance that I couldn't get to them now that I was awake, but this lingering feeling passed quickly.

This place was a distorted version of the area immediately outside my old home. It was day time, early morning with beautiful sunlight and the cul-de-sac was three or four times longer than it should be, somewhat wider too but not half as much as that. The whole area also sloped up gently on the more distorted side (the side that I never had much reason to be in). There was a zig-zag of pavement with cars parked along it, many of which were red or yellow, many being a mix of the two, like a VW type van which was mostly red but had a yellow boot door.

I had just been at a door to a shop of some kind? I was with Ni and a kid from my childhood, but I don't remember exactly who it was, possibly P, short dark hair, spiky? At this door, Ni asked if my shoes could be painted yellow there and some voice or something decided "no". At this point in the dream or earlier I remember looking down and seeing I had some sort of fabric shoes, like those that we often used for indoor gym classes in my childhood. The shoes were white, as they would be, but for some reason, I had yellow sweat pants, the same tone of yellow as every other yellow that had shown up so far in other dream elements. I remember thinking the white and yellow matched fine, but for some reason this wasn't enough to stop me from wanting the shoes to be yellow too.

Before we got to the shop and we were walking "up" the cul-de-sac, there was a more normal layout. There was a truck double-parking behind some cars, all too common, but it supposedly had dye or paint of the colour I wanted but it had been at this point that Ni and the other one appeared and "guided" me toward the door. I was a bit disappointed because I was sure the truck's paint would be fine, though after they appeared I got the impression maybe I was going to be stealing from the truck or something.

Up to this point I had been running around and faffing about on the more prominent dream location immediately in front of my old building. It was like a room but not. There were sofas and other things typical of a living room I think, but there was this big group of kids, mostly teen girls and some teen boys. I was annoyed with them because of what they'd done before, and because they were being passive-aggressive to me now too. I was looking incessantly for a laptop that I knew I had left on a table in the middle of these sofas, but these teens had moved everything since I had last been here in the dream, everything was covered in their stuff; bags, coats, etc. I remember looking through many laptop-bag like bags but it wasn't in any of them. I even looked in a bag that had a multi-bag tag* to it. After looking in that bag I remember something about a text command which may have been why I couldn't find it, but at that point I got distracted by someone and then the whole yellow shoes thing began.

Before that, I remember going through a wide hall, the exit for which was on the wall of the building and lead to that sofa area. The hall was dark, with an impression of night time to it despite being indoors. There were two of these teen girls doing some kind of work out on some bars on the ceiling, practically twisting themselves around the bars in some kind of pull-up exercise. They looked at me with mocking faces, I was very annoyed with them at this point already.

Before that part, I remember being in a forest on the other side of this hallway-tunnel. I think I was heading toward it when I had tripped and the group of teens, who I was walking together with, started to kick me. The girls were especially mean, kicking me very hard and then when it was over I remember feeling like it was all going to bruise. I felt angry that they abused me as a group and I could see some sort of interface thing that showed me their avatars, their nicknames and how many times each of them kicked me. I told myself I was going to keep this to report them and to show at a hospital when I got there for treatment. At this point I was convinced I was going to go to a hospital, as soon as I could, because I was afraid of massive bruising over my body, especially my face and head. Maybe I was concerned about internal bleeding too or something. Although in the dream I don't remember pain as I would from waking life, I still had a dream perception of having been extensively hurt.

Before this, I remember a fairly peaceful forest, day time, possibly afternoon judging by the yellowed colour of the light. It was a specific type of pine forest typical of my native country, the ground was dry I seem to remember, despite a number of ferns here and there or grass. There had been something about socks and the laptop at this early point of the dream but unfortunately I'm having difficulty recalling anything else; I have the feeling there was a transition of scene before this that put me in that forest, but I can't remember details before it.

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Notes:
- When I was 8-10 is when I knew Ni and potentially some of these teens.
- I remember at that age there was someone I knew from school who had some gold nike shoes or something. I remember liking the shoes, especially because of the gold colour, as I've always been partial to gold.
- The main reason I can think of for the antagonism in the dream is because at school I had a very difficult time getting any of the girls from my classes to like me, even when I was being nice it'd often be the case that I was ridiculed, something that I think was partly driven by boys that these girls did like.
- In the dream I think the yellow shoes thing was something about making a point.
- Although the dream heavily featured things from my teen life (11-17 mostly), I didn't have the perception of being any younger than I am now; I think a lot of these types of situations in dreams for me are always with me being my current age because I don't particularly feel any different now than I did from 5, 10, 20 years ago, aside from my pain problems.
- More of a passing thought: At school I was almost always the youngest in a class, or amongst the youngest. In my family I am the youngest too, and interestingly Ni (who basically tried helping me in the dream) is one of the younger ones in his family, too.
- The contents of the bag that had the "multi-bag" tag were "quantic" and could be accessed from other bags too, a feature I've often used in modded Minecraft, incidentally a game I started playing in my late teens before it was even popular or had such extensive modding.

I am at work with Laynie, though this place looks completely different. It is two stories and mostly an atrium space. It seems that the mezzanine floor branches off into the shopping spaces. There are sets of double doors to the outside right below the mezzanine floor. We are interrupted by me noticing a known shoplifter coming in the doors. He is carrying a bag and dragging another rolling one, and I recognize him as one of the two guys that gets a few pairs of Levi’s every few days. I think we just wait to see what he does and then lose him for a bit (it’s fairly busy in here). When he reappears, he is on the ground floor, bag a little fuller, heading for the doors. I start sliding down some wide, green pole type thing. He starts to double back so I hesitate and then finish sliding down when he starts back for the doors. I guess I don’t feel like stopping him but just getting a plate. He glances around before going out right behind a small group, going off at the doors. I think he notices me going out right behind him, but probably thinks I’m just a customer. I take out my phone and call Laynie but it is Dad who answers. I only pay a little bit of attention to the conversation as I’m watching the guy meet up with the other outside of a white van. I think it has Arizona plates, and I can’t memorize it without drawing too much attention to myself. I keep walking past it to blend in and notice two vans to my right. They both have Grateful Dead stickers and are parked close together; I think they must be together. The cars have thinned out by this point and I stop walking. I stand for a little and then head back. The white van starts pulling out and I think I’ll get a great look at the plate, until it turns and starts coming this way, the wrong way (with no front plate). The man driving it has tan skin and scruff and is either bald or has very short hair. He glances at me as he passes and I wonder if he’s seen me before and recognizes me. I now see the other guy walking away from a maroon car. He has a backpack on and is going back into the mall. I just about step in front of a taxi in the road, but he sees me, stops, and waves me forward. I wave back, slightly self conscious of being on the phone and not paying attention. I hang up and meet up with Laynie inside. We, and quite a few other people, are on the second floor, sitting. We are sitting in what almost feels like bus seats arranged in a circle or half circle around the mezzanine/atrium. Two younger, Hispanic guys in grey/darker hoodies and beanies arrive, and one starts shooting off a handgun. There are windows next to our seats, which he shoots out. I think he is shooting above heads to scare, but I don’t rule out the possibility of him shooting to injure or kill. I listen to the shots ring out, more than there should be in a pistol’s magazine. He makes his way back this way and I brace for the possibility of getting shot. He announces that this is because the two men thought they noticed someone following them. I genuinely think that must’ve been someone other than me. He says something about a Hyundai and then trails off, probably realizing it wasn’t smart to give away the make of car. He seems like he is being made to do this. I think the world, and now even this town, is becoming a scary place.

A few fragments but I remembered some more detail as I read and rewrote my notes from the morning.

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Dream:

In the old version of the square in my home town. It’s altered compared to my actual memory of it however. It was a bigger area somehow; this may relate to the fact that my memories of this version only exist from my childhood as it changed pretty early on in my life. But the dream takes place in a present time.

I have abilities from Diablo 2, more specifically Sorceress and Amazon abilities. I remember an interface overlay like in the game where I could pick the spells from.

Noteably I remember the explosive arrow and glacial spike abilities, but on closer inspection the glacial spike was actually called frostga.

I was shooting a bow with explosive arrows at these two guys that were just running around a bit aimlessly I think. They just wouldn’t die though and I kept running out of mana, for some reason glacial spike used a lot but explosive arrows didn’t (some uniques in the game granted it as a passive modifier, derived from that?).

Dream Fragment:

I remember there were transitions but the main place in the dream was this Egypt themed zone like a level from Unreal Tournament. It was night time and the zone in itself was more like a floating platform high up I. The sky. It had the shape of a circle but extended out of itself into “knots” on four corners?

Despite being night time it was fairly bright, moonlit mostly. But there were glitches with the lighting, like the level wasn’t finished properly, so some objects and areas were just far too bright like the gamma was wrong just for those bits but I accepted this as something that does happen.

Dream:

Was with mom and dad in the car, we were downtown but everything looked so different, more like a post modern and brand new style than what I think I would have expected, which would be old buildings.

Dad was commenting on how empty the entire area was. I don’t remember commenting myself. Nothing felt surprising or unusual in the dream. We went past some museums, one had written in big block capitals at its entrance: PAPU or something of the sort. As we went past it, I saw an ascending escalator inside the museum through some large and curved glass panes. I had a deja vu in the dream when I saw this.

We went a bit further along and I remember having thoughts about how this area was supposed to be for modern cars only or that it had been pedestrianised. We arrived near the square next to the river but it all seemed pedestrianised and like we weren’t supposed to be in the car here but dad didn’t realise.

A blonde or fake blonde and sort of nearly pale white lady walked up to us and then we weren’t in the car anymore but I thought nothing of it. She told dad that he couldn’t drive here, only “on the basement level” (to park?). There was a platform with road on it that was a lift that went underground just a bit ahead; I think I saw this before the lady was there, but I remember interacting with some console which had a blue GUI with options displayed. The last and only option I remember said something like “1950s (1980)”.

Morning of March 8, 2020. Sunday.

Dream #: 19,438-01. Reading time: 54 sec.



In my transition from complete lucidity to liminality near the beginning of my dreaming experience, I think about the nature of imaginary physicality, though it does not correlate with the usual falling sensation anticipation.

As the rapid morphing of various random settings slows and stabilizes, I see a variation of the “Gunsmoke” Dodge City set, though its implication is ambiguous, as both people on horses and modern cars are present and in motion. I know that horses are more of an instinctual rendering when imaginary proprioception is an anticipated factor, whereas cars, although still signifying the physical body as sublimated while dreaming, indicate a partial level of cognizance. As a result, my liminal state integrates the ambiguity of both in an atypical form of sleep-wake mediation.

What results, as I am moving into my sleep cycle instead of out of it, is that all the cars unrealistically rotate, reminiscent of a tornado, ballerina’s pirouette, or helicopter rotor system (all of which are variations of mediating this process) as I allow my lucidity to lessen. There is no emotion as only one horse bucks at the impossible scene (only because I briefly anticipate it). The cars do not lift off the ground but rapidly rotate in place until their spinning makes them a seemingly transparent circular anomaly. After a few minutes, I allow the scene to fade.

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