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I'm sitting in mrs.hadaways class and she's teaching about dyslexia. Let me remind you she's originally a business teacher.
I remember her saying something along the lines of: dyslexia is a dangerous disease. it consumes everything you eat.
I raise my hand and she calls me: Isn't it weird that a micro-organism can affect our body with great precentage? I recall myself saying. And she just looks at me dumbfoundedly and I look around the class and it's silent. Then she says, "Uhm. Yes."
I begin to walk out of the class. Then all goes black and at first i think i'm blind/ someone turns them back on and my vision becomes blurry. I fall to the floor in mid-panic until someone comes and gives me their glasses. I look up and see a girl in my view. Her name is Sarah. She takes my hand and lifts me and we start to walk out of the school.
We're in a room, on a bed. She's lying on top of my with her head on my chest and her arms resting under my back, as though hugging me.
She starts to kiss on me from my head to my legs. She then pulls off my pants and starts to give me a blow-job.
After sucking for some time she stops for an unexpected reason-- the tip of my penis comes off. I blink and swallow the spit lodge in my throat. Then I croak: did the tip of my penis just come off? She says Yes. "Well put it back on", I say
And she does.
She climbs over me and says: I'm going to bed
I reach over to give her a kiss goodnight, BUT she only pushes out her foot and tells me to go away.
Sarah leaves from my dream.

Soon comes another girl. She's naked, trying to take a picture of herself in this irregular pose. She is on her knees with one hand holding her up with her ass high up in the air with her loose hand trying to capture an image. I remember thinking to myself that her ass looked like the ears of a stuffed teddy bear, then I snicker and ask: what are you doing?
I don't recall her answering. Then I say something else, like: "I bet you get all the guys."
She has really long hair and caramel skin. She's lying on her back now with her legs half-way apart. She's gorgeous.
"why dont you have a boyfriend?"
She says curtly: "I do. In New York."
I remember one time she and I made-out but she wouldn't fuck me. It all makes sense. Long-distance relationships get lonesome time to time. I don't blame her.
" Oh" Is all I can think to say.
And that's all I can think to remember.

I was hiking in the woods when I came across a monster. It wasn't a scary monster. It was a butt monster and it's goal was to have the best butt in the world.

I'm home and my sister is expertly growing plants. She's growing them from seed, propogating them, and doing things with plants that I've never done, and I'm a plant guy. When she's telling me this, I'm laying on the floor and I'm so tired that I want to go to sleep. I tell her I had just been watching tv and that is why I'm tired. It's mid afternoon but I felt like I had just woken up. I had been watching a talk show and I feel like Frank Ocean was on it.

There is a scene somewhere in here with some young overweight black girls. One of the girls ordered underwear on the internet and was just about to open the package. Suddenly, the other girl had the underwear in her hands and she was walking away with them, proud of herself for having such a great pair of underwear. It is revealed that there will be a nice butt competition and these underwear will help her. Suddenly, they are stolen yet again by a strange, un-talking, black guy. He's creepy looking and has on black and white stripes like a prisoner of old. The girl is frustrated but she doesn't try to get them back because she thinks it would be impossible.

Later I am back by the same woods. I'm in a clearing in a house on a porch and the forest line is in the short distance. Some girls want to go into the woods where apparently, the best butt competition is to occur. They are stopped somehow by a women who is using some kind of force. I see my mother's cousin walk out of the woods. This is a women who is in her 60s but who is obsessed with her looks. She looks more scary than beautiful though with overdone make-up, push up bras, tight pants, and butt padding. She's at the edge of the woods and she's bending over doing some gardening work I think. She stays bent for a while. I suddenly realize that she is the butt monster . I tell my sister. Her motivation is to scare other people away from the woods so that she will win the prize of best butt.

The house i'm in turns out to be the home of my grandparents. My mom asks me if I'm going to some event that they are all going to. I say no, because I don't want to have to kiss everybody who she is going with, including, that cousin of hers who I know is the butt monster. Not that she's scary, even though she is a monster. It's because she's so strange looking. I see everyone arrive. It's my grandmother, her sister, her husband's brothers' sister, my two aunts, the butt monster and bringing up the rear, my grandfather. All women except for one guy. I'm surprised to see my grandfather because in real life he's in the hospital and is in bad shape. He looks healthy in the dream which excites me.

At this point I have, what I believe was a false awakening. I feel I'm awake and I want to write in my dream journal. I start writing it, more or less as I have above, though different. I get hung up on some details like the acreage of the woods or what sound volume to have your laptop on. Soon, the laptop closes and there is darkness and I feel like I'm losing recollection. Then I really wake up.

Dream 1
I was in a city full of zombies, It was dark. I became lucid and decided to fly, I couldn't so I fought along some guy against these zombies. We went on to a elevated train track like the Chicago Loop. I fought against the zombies and the person I was with got biten or something.

Dream 2
I was in my house/school (you'll get it in a minute) we were talking about where we should go to see a film. I was talking to my friend on if the would make a new Batman and Robin.

Then I opened a newspaper to a page where it said "Beyonce, Butt In" with brackets resembling a butt and it only had pictures of her butt. I then turned around and Beyonce was there angry saying "Just because I go to a film being produced, doesn't mean I'm in the film" and "I don't need this I'm 84 and very stressed why does it always come down to my butt?".

84 WHAT A FLIPPING DREAM SIGN. She looked normal though.

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was in a small, tight bedroom with three old, white men and one young, black man. I was sitting in a metal-framed dining chair. One old man sat to my right. Another old man sat to my left. The third old man and the young man stood off to my left, near the foot of the bed. My vision was largerly focused inward and downward, really close to my body.

The three old men were very rich. The young man and I were talking about working on a number of different projects for a company. There were at least three projects. The young man said that we should focus on the project that was something like an award ceremony, possibly for one key performer.

I kind of felt like this wasn't the right thing for us to be focusing on. The other two projects were more administrative. They actually dealt with problems, and they actually needed work.

My vision kind of drifted off, down really close to the floor and then toward an empty closet with open doors. I also had visions of photographs, like snapshots being laid one on top of the other, like in some TV show or commercial about traveling. Most of the snapshots had white borders, but some had pink borders. The photos may have been related to the projects the young man and I were discussing.

My vision came back to my body. I dropped photos on the floor. I stood up and then bent over at the waist, with straight legs, to grab the photos. I basically shoved my rear end in the face of the old man to my right. I could see my back side. I was kind of old and flabby somehow, and I was wearing slacks that were really nice but kind of baggy. Somehow I could also see my butt through the pants.

I sat down. The guy to my right was now acting really excited and nervous. We were all trying to talk about something, but the old man to my right was really too distracted to do so.

The young man somehow let me know that when I had shoved my rear end in the old man's face, I'd really turned him on. Now the old man couldn't think about anything other than having sex with me.

The young man let me know that I'd probably end up having to have sex with the old man now, if we wanted to get anything done with our business. The young man said, "Don't worry. I've had to do it before, too."

I just woke from a movie-like dream where I was sort-of-seeing and sort-of-being the main character. He was a less goofy-looking version of Ben Stiller, with dark hair down to his shoulders, but in a dramatic role. We were captive on a modern pirate ship, though all the pirates were basically grizzled white dudes. It was a giant, beat-up tanker of a ship, with its own machine shop and some pretty big smaller craft on board. One of the cooler visuals were these big fiberglass skiffs being hauled around on cranes and lifts while machinists worked on them. I/we made ourself useful so as not to get murdered and because being a pirate didn't sound so bad

There were no pirate battles or anything--mostly just cleaning up and doing maintenance around the ship. I/we was coming off a shift with the engineer/machinist captives, and one of them did this calculation counting rocks to figure out how much fuel we had, and we were running out.

At this point I became a separate, really vague character out on deck with the main character. We watched the exhaust ports sputter out, and he was spraying some weird vapor around from a big tank on his back. I discovered the pirates' sunglass graveyard--a weird corner near a rusted-shut door where broken sunglasses were tossed all over the place. The main character was talking about possibly venting our sewage as propulsion to reach a port, which sounded gross.

Another scene-shift, and the two of us are swimming into shore clinging to a piece of driftwood. Are we escaping? Looking for fuel? Who knows. Handsome Ben Stiller has shaved his head. We get ashore and pull some con at a resort hotel, where he's supposed to be a drunk rich guy who injured himself swimming in the ocean, and I found and rescued him. Somehow this plan gets us into the hotel, and end up meeting and hanging out with other vacationers. The next really cool visual, we are lounging around outside with other guests looking up at the stars in the sky, and for some reason the lights of all the continents are visible there in the sky, almost like a concave version of those shots of earth's nightside from space. I don't know if I was a pirate captive in a hollow earth or what.

Pretty much the last thing that happened was more bizarre and comical. A group of swimmers came out the hotel doors crab-walking on all fours, but turned over with their backs arched up. Apparently this was the way serious swimmers made their way to the water. My fellow ex-captive for some reason decides he's a gay rapist and assaults one of the swimmers. He manages to pants the guy, who then crab-walks away on just his hands with his butt sticking up in the air, which was equal parts funny and just weird, kind of like Borat.

That's about when I woke up.