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non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

Mom's windows of her front balcony are once again wrongly inserted and dangerously dangling. I try to fix it before any strong wind hits, but two of them drop from the 4th floor to the ground below. No one is hit but it falls on two cars, which strangely suffer no harm.

I am sort of an exchange student abroad. Visit some cute kindergarten where a friend works, then later I attend some classes. It's around Xmas time. There is a sale of arts and crafts and I break a few pieces by accident. I try to fix it, until I give up and apparently no one around cares that much.
People are discussing math and other subjects, I think there is exam season coming. There are some snacks at a table and I see a huge dried fig I pick to eat. But I open it and it is full of ticks inside. Gross!
I pick up some stones to squash the bugs when I look up and see what looks like two rainbows in the sky. I forget the ticks and reach for my phone to take a photo. Then they move and I see they are actually iridescent antennas. What?
People start running on the streets, I hear a big noise and I see an ants head through the clouds, which aren't clouds but dust from debris. The ant is crushing the buildings as it walks. I run away too and I see more ants in different directions. We run for our lives. I reach areas where people are not yet aware of what's going on. There is a concert of classical music at a park with lots of families with kids. We try to warn but they don't understand and I just use the chance to go ahead of all them before they also start running. There is a lake and a canal leading to a river. I think about getting on a boat, but the only one I can get into has no key to start the engine. Then I spot some playboy in his boat and I try to get on board with him, but he actually decides to get out of the boat and walk away, taking the key. Meanwhile the ants seem to be approaching and I decide to just keep running towards the coast, I cross a train track and a train is stopped and some people are coming out of the train and seem to have organized among themselves and have a plan. They head for some empty condos by the river to stay the night and plan the next step. Apparently one of them has the key to some of the apartments. I join them, think it is better to be with a group who has plans or at least is organized. But they all speak Swedish. The only other foreign people is Tony from the show "Who's the boss?" who says he is Italian and doesn't understand what everybody is saying. I say I am Portuguese and also don't understand so we all start talking in English.

Talking to some people about lucid dreams, my dad doesn't see the point and interest. I say it is a second life we all have and it is better when we live it with awareness. I say once I recalled 10 full pages of dream details on one single night. He gets a bit more interested and I say who wouldn't want to consciously fly and experience fantasies? Someone asks if I tried being with a dragon or turning into a dragon and I say yes.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

I have an android friend, Japanese looking, who I always treat as a human friend. Someday I have somewhere to go and leave her behind without an explanation and she resented me for that, felt treated like an appliance that would be just fine at home alone. She wanted to cut bonds with me. I gave her freedom to act as a human and live her life. Encountered her years later, on a boat, docked on an island, where there's a festival happening.
She is still angry at me, had been living with guys who used her (I guess as a sex partner) but she had left them one after the other, tired of being constantly treated as an object.
Very strong wildfires burst in the island leaving everyone in danger.
In the midst of all these, there is a revelation of documents that finally show how much money Trump got from certain people and lots of people are celebrating his downfall. One lady wants to share the news on a megaphone, when a siren sounds loudly and flames approach the coast. Lots of people come take refuge in ships by the coast and becomes a nightmare to fit so many people in the boats. Chaos ensues and one guys tries to rape me in a dark corner, but I get helped by another guy whom I detest, but on that moment I even feel attracted to him.

With a bunch of people, many familiar to me, still on a boat, but now things are calmer and on land there is some event with conferences and lectures. A friend of mine comes to tell me that such and such person can't make the lecture he or she was supposed to and they want me to do it instead. I ask about what and she says "Foucault" and I panic, because I know nothing about Foucault. She says they have a powerpoint on a computer and I just need to read it ahead and then follow it. I say no way, but I gotta try and help somehow. So I go running to the conference place, 15 mins ahead to try and read the material and get acquainted with the topic. People are already waiting in the lounge of the auditorium.

I see an organ (keyboard) and a few chairs by the trash, go get my van to collect it and on returning I see a family emptying their house, so I ask them permission to collect the things they are throwing away. They are extremely nice and invite me to their house to see what they have and help taking it out. I am amazed with the place. I explain my work with charities and that I'd like to take all that I can, they help me pack in bags and carry it outside. They have amazing stuff. They have a weird mutant pet, like Nessie, in a lake outside that reaches inside through a balcony with his long neck. He really likes me and starts licking me. One of the kids says to let it give me a smooch, but others say no, no, because he'll rip my head off. Apparently he gets really excited with some smells and can bite someone's head off.

Alright I have had enough of these dreams where I almost get molested by creepy dudes. Is it a subconscious fear I have now? I wonder where the hell it came from because I want it gone.

I was on a lake/ocean in a boat/vehicle. A family member was with me, but then they left for some reason. They said they'd be back soon, but as I was waiting I heard a very disturbing sound beneath me. It sounded like the growl of a large and ancient beast. It sounded similar to this one, with the reverberating breathing. It was loud and made me scared to my core. Anyway, just after I heard the sound the car bumped up a bit. And again it happened. Suddenly the vehicle capsizes. I had opened the window a bit earlier to try to see what had made that noise, but now that I was capsizing I tried to roll the window up but I didn't have enough time. I saw the water coming closer and I took a deep breath. I then fell into the water and dove as far as I could to try to avoid the beast from below. I was not fast enough, and it bit off my leg at the knee. It then circled back and swallowed the rest of me whole. I tried to grab hold of it's mouth just before it swallowed me just so I could know what it was that killed me. It had a long pointed snout and reminded me of a shark. I woke up likely in sleep paralysis. My whole body felt constricted and I thought I was actually dead for a second.

There was more to this one, but basically me and brother were in the middle of nowhere with a semitruck. There was just desert all around. While he wasn't looking I threw gas on everything and then lit the truck and ran for my life. The thing went off like a nuclear bomb. I expected the mushroom cloud and the heat and stuff, but didn't anticipate the flying debris. I just kept running to avoid being chunked down by the flying pieces. It was truly a sight to behold.

My brother driving me through a town I didn't recognize. It was a large city and reminded me of Vegas. It was at night and I saw several fireworks displays going off. As we drove down some winding highways at a decent speed I took in the sights of the various light shows and suddenly my brother tells me to hold on to something. I look forward at the road and it has a large gap with the street continuing after a few feet. We keep our speed and fall right through the hole and find ourselves doing some weird roller coaster of a track designed just for this. It takes the speed and weight of the vehicle and as long as you keep the pedal to the metal, then you will complete the track without injury. This thing was wild. It had loop-de-loops, jumps, falls, the works. I saw a smaller car that failed the loop and ended upside down and crashing to the ground. I felt very scared that our car may end up the same. I got mad at Kris for taking me here, and he said he brings many people here and that it is one of the best attractions in town.

I was playing a battle royal sort of game, with gameplay like fistful of frags (Played the game for hours yesterday). Each game was 100 players. There were several weapons you could use and they were all pretty good. It was so satisfying getting 6+ kills in a row. I was able to escape large groups of people by floating above. I remembered this technique from my past as I could hold my breath and it allows me to fly higher. The group of 5 said I was cheating because they only had melee weapons and couldn't reach me. I said they were cheating for being in such a large group, and that there was no way I could beat all of them when they're grouped like that. I played a few rounds of this. Out of maybe 4 rounds I came in first twice. I recall the last time I played it the remaining 2 enemies besides me were Conan O'Brian and Stephen Colbert. Conan was weaponless and wasn't actually playing. I managed to get Stephen Colbert, but it wasn't easy. I had to attack his head and he kept using a hood to conceal where I could attack. I eventually pinned him to the ground and sliced open his neck. Brutal.

I was at a hotel trying to mind my own business but the people behind and in front of me pressed so close against me they forced me to follow them. I wanted to just leave them alone, but it seemed they were doing this on purpose. I noted the guy behind me was wearing skin tight latex. Not the black kind, but it was red and white. They got me to a floor with nobody around and a guy tried to pull a gun on me while the latex guy advanced toward me and tried to sexually assault me. I fended them off and ran up the stairs as fast as I could. As I rounded a clearing the guy was rounding the clearing in the stairs just below. This continued for 2-3 floors until I stopped and waited for him to catch up. Just as he was about to come into view I swung around the corner and knocked him down the stairs and kept running until the dream ended.

The dream scene was possibly in another country. There was a massive dark green warehouse structure on one side of a narrow river and one on the other side. For some reason it seemed also like we were in a past time period like the 1800s. I think people were wearing dated clothing. There was at one point a woman I kept gazing my eyes at. I was attracted to her. She was wearing an older dress from another era, it was a number of different greens. There were a lot of other women with her. On the river was this small raft that would go back and forth between the two sides carrying people. I remember waiting for the raft to come, I had gotten distracted by something, and by the time I looked back it was full and had departed to the other side. There was some other stuff going on in this place but I can't remember.

I'm in a video game of some sort. There is a massive room with these two giant ogre dudes walking around. They seem to be enemies but aren't really aware of me. There's another big dude there as well. The video game was like runescape. I'm walking down this wooden staircase thing into the ground. A group of people are telling me I need to pick some sort of class. Kolby encourages me to be a "Barbarian" class. I agree but then realize it's only me and this other guy who are barbarians and everyone else has split into a group of hunters, warlocks, and warriors/rogues. Each of those groups has at least 6 people and were getting along pretty well. The other barbarian is trying to teach me the ways which included fist fighting and playing this game of ping pong but with throwing knives. He was throwing knives at me and I'm looking around freaking out considering if one of the knives actually went into me.

The dream goes up the stairs and into this island area with woods, old structures, and a coastline with abandoned buildings there. This place seemed strangely ancient and a tint of light blue. I'm remembering quests in certain areas. It seemed like it would take forever to level up in this old game. I ran into one person who I recognized, she was wearing different garb now but when we talked I brought up the last time I saw her. I said something like "last time I saw you, weren't you playing some sort of fairy creature who was worshiped by other players" and she agreed. My flash back took me to this clearing with collapsed buildings and structures. She was sitting on a rock dressed as a fairy with these other players just huddled around her. She was telling them things. My dream ended with me zooming out on the map and looking around. I was wondering how big the game really was. My view showed me this massive green island surrounded by water, scattered with trees and sandpits. I imagined groups of people gathering to slay monsters once they were high enough level. This game was really interesting because it felt like old WoW where the game is very mysterious and you can't just look everything up, you've got to play the game and learn from others about how everything works.

I am on a boat with Melissa. This boat has physical inclinations of being a speed boat, though there is a mental connotation of it being a much larger vessel, due to an array of items abundantly stored about. We are lying on a seat or some other space that is free of the mostly organized clutter. There is the open water to our right (I believe this boat is moving at a moderate speed) and the helm mostly visible a few yards from our heads. The semi-enclosedness and silmutaneous proximity to the open water creates an interesting feeling. Melissa is naked, her legs slightly splayed. I am comfortably between them, gently but aptly going down on her. I think someone is now up by the wheel of the boat, so we move to cover ourselves up a bit, though not completely.

Morning of May 27, 2018. Sunday.



Typical RAS modulation autosymbolism was going strong in this non-lucid dream but still did not activate the waking process, so I slept a couple hours longer than I usually do (even though Zsuzsanna and our children were up and in the lounge room with the television on at one point). If I cannot rely on RAS to wake me at a certain time with unique dream content (which is what a dream’s autosymbolism is inherently for) at the top of an ultradian rhythm, then I consider that very unusual.

In the first part of my dream, the setting is a unique new variation of the King Street mansion, the second-floor apartment in the middle of the east side of the house. My non-lucid dream self does not care that it is an impossible setting. I happily sit around on the floor for awhile listening to bizarre fictitious music (on a record player yet) where the lyrics make no sense at all. The “music” seems to have rock elements, but the male vocals are mostly randomly spoken phrases. I hear the audience cheering, so it must be a live recording. At one point, he chants slowly but loudly and clearly, “Yellow bathroom”. (This is a biological hint to my dream self, but I do not feel the need to use the bathroom in my dream.)

I notice my curtains are open, and I see an unfamiliar male lying on his left side on a ledge, in his underwear, enjoying the wind and smiling. It seems to be late morning. Apparently, he is enjoying the music I am playing. (Of course, this is a liminal projection of how my real physical body is as I sleep.) I am annoyed that neighbors can see in, so I attempt to close the curtain. (In reality, this scene could not be possible either, as the windows had only a view of the front of the house across the street, so there was no side of a house right near the King Street house, though what does my non-lucid dream self care, from a lack of any viable connection with either the unconscious mind or my conscious self.)

I hear an unfamiliar girl’s voice yelling about my music, and their music is turned on more loudly, even though the male was enjoying my music. (I did not think my music was loud at all.) A different male argues with her and there is yelling for a short time. I go into a different room and I am now in the lounge room of the Stadcor Street house (which only has the first floor) with Zsuzsanna. Now, the events are shifted to the first floor in the house next door as well (and as usual my dream self does not notice the impossible change). I mention something to Zsuzsanna about the music and an unfamiliar male, who can see into our house through our window from his window, loudly says, “You think you can beat me?” I reply by yelling, “Why don’t you leave us alone?” I then yell at no one in particular, “I’m tired of crazy people always living next door to us!”

I go out to the front yard and bash several unfamiliar males on the head with my Olympic barbel (no weights) and swing it around like a baseball bat until no one else is standing or moving. My dream shifts into reinduction rather than the waking process during the RAS modulation event and I now find myself riding in a skiff tied to the back of a small motor yacht. Curiously, I do not recognize this scene for what it is and no lucidity is triggered, only an elevated vividness. I am now a female (of about twenty-five), though not a female I have any conscious knowledge of. A man tells me to tie an additional length of rope from my boat to the back of his motor yacht (as the previous one had apparently came off and I am now drifting over the ocean). I somehow do this even though the distance would not logically allow it. I throw the rope and pull it lightly, but a large knot seems to make itself with no effort on my part (to my left; reinduction orientation and stabilizing). “That’s a good knot,” says the unfamiliar captain from the other boat. A few other unfamiliar people look on.

After a time, I am “myself” (though only about twenty-five) and another (unfamiliar) male is sitting to my right. We are still on a skiff on the ocean, but there is no other boat now. We go through an ambiguous area where it seems I am inside a house for a short distance even though we are also on the ocean. I notice many large sharks swimming below us. The water is unrealistically clear. I am wondering if there is any danger, though I do not feel concerned. The other male denies there is any danger and tells me how sharks only eat things that are at its own level in the water. I do not feel any fear, more like cheerfulness (almost comedic) even though there seem to be hundreds of sharks below us.

Soon, the scene shifts and I am walking with the same male and an unfamiliar female. We are in an unfamiliar town near mostly commercial buildings. After we walk a short distance, the male vanishes. We look back to see someone running in the distance. Suddenly, I am aware that we will be blamed for the kidnapping of the male that vanished. We are carrying small plastic bags. We stop to look inside them. The girl’s bag has the ID of the male that vanished. I know that the police will be here soon and that we are being framed by an unknown person. I take the ID and throw it behind a soda vending machine thinking it will not be found and that I am being careful and intelligent in my action.

The police arrive and I am still holding one of the small plastic bags. The scene somehow shifts to where I am in a police station (though of more of a restaurant appearance). The police officer is looking at the supposedly kidnapped man’s credit card (made of cardboard), a large sparse clump of hair, and some other items. The officers do not seem to think I had anything to do with anything, but I still tell them we were framed. (The girl is soon no longer present.) “Can you take fingerprints from plastic bags?” I ask. I say, “I know my fingerprints are on them, but they will probably also have the fingerprints of the kidnapper.”

“Can you take fingerprints from hair,” I ask. “Can you take prints from paper?” A police officer at a counter looks at me as if he is wondering why I am still here. Two other officers look at me annoyingly as well. They are not interested in me at all. I decide to finally leave my dream (in a liminal state, as I am not viably lucid until the last moments) and finally wake as I step through the door. (This last part is quite odd. I am liminally trying to force RAS modulation by way of my conscious self, but nothing happens, probably because the process is often transpersonal in origin in its natural form. On one level, something similar occurred recently, where I learned I was not in trouble for “killing” an unknown male, though my dream self had the opposite focus as to this one and I did not seem to be as fully modulating it myself.)

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I’m an observer watching a scene unfold on a boat—but really, it’s more that I’m looking at it and the people on deck while being aware of the situation playing out there in a more abstract way. There are some documents I need for traveling on this boat, and I’m not sure if I have them or if I need to go through some process to get them.

The scene shifts—I’m now exiting a bus. But instead of winding up outside as I had expected, I’ve simply stepped onto another bus. I quickly take a seat behind the two women who entered ahead of me and wonder where this one is going to take me.

The scene shifts again—this time, I’m waking up in the back of a car my parents are driving. It feels as if I’m younger in this one. We’ve just stopped by a building I recognize as the one where my father’s workshop is. That means we’re not far from home now. I fall back asleep.

The scene shifts yet again—this time, I’m in a grocery store. And this time, I know it’s a dream, although I still seem to think the last bit with the car was waking reality. I think it would be best if I sleep for the remainder of the trip, and so that means making sure this dream lasts.

I look around. There don’t seem to be anyone here but me. It's reminiscent of the specialty grocer’s down the street from my old flat on Svornosti. That means there should be a counter over in the corner where I can get some coffee.

I go over and find the counter is there, and that there’s somebody behind it. There’s nothing displaying prices, so I just put down three bills, possibly dollars, which seems like a more than fair price. But the woman tells me I have to make the coffee myself using the machine there. It’s an odd contraption, like no coffee maker I’ve ever used, but after messing around for it a bit, I get it to pour some coffee out - Turkish style, with the grounds at the bottom. I drink it. This isn’t a conscious attempt at stabilization, I don’t think—just something that struck me as a pretty good idea—but it may have had that effect, as it’s normally hard for me to stay asleep so late in the morning.

I consider where to go from here. Perhaps home, where the car was headed—only I have no idea where I am right now. But if I fly, perhaps I’ll see some familiar landmark from the air and be able to find my way from there. And to fly, I’ll need a high place to launch from—so it looks like I’m headed to the roof.

In the meantime, I’ve noticed six or seven wolves between two shelves on the upper story, which is a sort of balcony over one half of the store. They all trot off in a single direction as I watch. Are they coming after me? But I wasn’t planning on sticking around here in any case. I climb a shelf and phase through the ceiling.

I now find myself in a room lit by a warm light. A long mahogany table laid with bright red dishes is some distance off—set for an elaborate meal, it looks like. It's quite pretty. I continue on my way, climbing another shelf and jumping through the ceiling.

This time I’m in an attic-like room near a big calico cat that, in typical feline fashion, seems entirely unimpressed by my unusual method of transportation. But it’s about then that I wake up.

I also wake up remembering something else—not something I heard, but words that seemed to be impressed on my mind. It went something like: “Use the gifts you’ve been given, human.” I don’t know who said it—perhaps it was the cat?—but it seemed somehow independent from the rest of the dream, like it was taking place on a different level. Good advice, in any case.

12.4.18 - (Happy Lucid Dreaming Day, everyone!)

Night of March 27, 2018. Tuesday.



As I enter the usual water induction stage, seeing the glimmer of the surface of the virtual water, the essence of sleep, the absence of emotion, the physical release of muscle tension, I notice the setting seems to be near sunset, though there is enough light to see by. It is a beautiful scene of a river. I am not yet “in” my dream, as I have not decided whether to enter here or wait for the next scene to render.

Still, I mentally say “boat” and nothing more, and my voice sounds much younger in my head.

I suddenly find myself standing near the bow of a skiff, moving slowly along. I notice a number of cypress knees ahead (which represent dynamics of my muscles that are not fully relaxed), though they do not pose any sort of threat or challenge. (Who wants to be “challenged” in the dream state anyway? - RAS modulation would come soon enough.) It is a beautiful and peaceful scene. In fact, I decide to let my lucidity go at this time and allow myself to enter deeper into sleep.

Throughout my life, I have read a number of articles about lucid dreaming, none of which have made any sense to me, but then, most of what is written about dreams makes little or no sense at all, and I have focused on the nature of my dreams all my life (and it not only has never been problematic, but I married my literal dream girl, my dreams having given me hundreds of specific clues about her identity, which proved to be correct, and some dreams have healed me in ways which no one would believe).

Many such articles imply how a person “practices” or attempts to lucid dream. This makes no sense to me, as since earliest memory, it was a natural state of which I did not have to practice or try to do (though I sometimes “set up” dreams, but I have mostly gotten to where I do not even need to do that due to the nature of in-dream auto-scripting). The summoning factor also exists in liminal dream control (dream control without lucidity). This is when the conscious self is aware of the dream state without the dream self being viably lucid (a specific type of synaptic gating), though still commanding the dream’s content at some points, even the RAS mediation of the waking transition to a certain extent (though biological factors and subliminal environmental concerns such as an unknown noise always take priority).

Apparently, some people ask themselves on and off all day if they are dreaming, which supposedly helps them to recognize when they are dreaming, though in my view would likely corrupt the function of RAS mediation and modulation (reticular activating system), arguably one of the most important parts of the brain, so why tamper with its very purpose? This is something I have never done or needed to (though reading nonsense in so-called dream dictionaries or dream interpretation books causes me to wonder what is going on with people in the world, and I joked about this on Twitter recently). The practice does not even make any sense as this is neither how auto-scripting nor autosymbolism works (or even subliminal conscious identity for that matter) in the dream state itself.

Conducting “reality tests”, including continuously asking myself if I am dreaming, as the personified subconscious is not the conscious self, makes zero sense. Additionally, dreams are not usually symbolic of waking life as many people claim; they are autosymbolic renderings of concurrent unconsciousness thought processes, for example, if one has to go to the bathroom now, or check the source of a noise now, it is happening now, not eight hours earlier but now, yet for some reason many people cannot seem to grasp this simple idea at all. They take a biological waking alert factor (RAS modulation) like a snake and try to pretend it has waking life relevance (which would only be true in rare cases, such as literal prescience or a literal residual carryover). This is not what such REM thought processes were created for. They are not “recordings” or even viable (active) memories (which also is why regressive hypnosis was exposed as a total misconception years ago).

Fully understanding autosymbolism and the nature of the dream state is enough to sustain apex lucidity on thought alone. The one and only factor of the dream state is RAS mediation, not “subconscious this” or “subconscious that”.

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Morning of January 27, 2018. Saturday.



The usual water induction begins, but I lose my main threads of lucidity (which is often deliberate, as I often prefer what non-lucid dreams can render as a learning experience, and additionally, lucidity often randomly returns later in the sleep cycle anyway), though my dream remains very vivid. I find myself at our present address after the usual forest lakes and river scenes.

The surfaces of the streets are replaced by water (lifelong recurring feature) but there is no association with flooding or seeing it as an unusual or “wrong” feature. It seems to be about nine o’clock at night.

Apparently, we had ordered pizza, though there only seems to be one pizza when the boat arrives and the deliverer, a young unfamiliar male, bends down to hand it to me. For some reason, there is no payment made.

The unknown young male has slight difficulty in backing up from the curb in front of our house. I cheerfully advise him, “Don’t bang into the sign.” (This is in reference to the “GIVE WAY” sign that, due to recent street widening, is fairly close to the middle of the street now, near the intersection.) He shows no emotion and continues to back out. There is a loud but very pleasant jingling sound, which has something to do with the movement of the boat, though this event does not really make much sense unless there is a large set of wind chimes somewhere on the boat. (It is almost as if the sound is coming from elsewhere regardless of the association.)

Later, with the implication of time passing or changing, it now seems to be afternoon. I see young males riding ATVs down the street (east) and performing tricks, and I feel somewhat annoyed by their antics. The surface of the street, at least closer to the curb, is now mainly mud.

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We have not had pizza from a takeout restaurant since we got very ill from severe food poisoning (our oldest son being hospitalized for about a week). Even so, we did not have pizza delivered here, as the places were just down the street.

The presence of water or water rising (which symbolizes sleep) is autosymbolism for entering the dream state, while water lowering over time, or being replaced by mud or some other feature (or no longer being present at all) is autosymbolism for leaving the dream state. This has been the case on a day-to-day basis since early childhood, for over fifty years.

The jingling association is based on chimes (which I often bump into) being near the bathroom door. The area near the curb was actually muddy in real life recently. They had put in a corner section with a ramp, but no other part of a sidewalk has been added in weeks.

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I was on some kind of open top barge or house boat. It was choc full of junk, well some of it was antique stuff and old toys. Somebody there was trying to stop me from getting something so I flew up and out of the opening onto a building roof above. The roof overlooking the river and boat was choc full of junk as well.
The building morphed a bit and became the roof of a school. I did some more flying around and at this point said to myself this dream is really going on for a long while "Are dream" maybe I should take advantage of this fact and do some stuff.
So I did some mind control on the dcs who were there then everything went black and white and I woke up unable to maintain lucidity.

note: I remember saying to myself maybe I should have a go at getting lucid as it's holiday time now. This kind of pondering intention with no expectation attached has proved to be 100% effective in the past also, lol.

Morning of December 13, 2017. Wednesday.



My beautiful wife Zsuzsanna and I are sitting together on a wooden bench at the end of the Shorncliffe Pier (formerly known as Sandgate Pier), looking northeast towards the ocean’s horizon. The time of day is uncertain, but it seems to be late morning in the final stage of my dream.

We are under the shelter at a later point, undressed, and being intimate. My semi-lucidity (partial awareness of being in the dream state) results in a lack of concern about several unknown members of the public, both male and female, being present, but not paying that much attention to us.

Later, we are closer to the shoreline (now about ten feet out on the pier). I observe what I first assume to be six North Korean males (perhaps in their thirties), waist-deep in the water. As they are walking towards the beach, they are guiding, in pallbearer formation, a damaged half-submerged wooden boat; a shellback dinghy; with a visible jagged hole in the side facing us. I am somewhat wary of their presence, but only for a short time. They gaze at us as if very annoyed.

Looking back again, I come to realize (though this was an actual transformation, not a presumed error in my original discernment) that they are Australian SES (State Emergency Service) volunteers. They are not looking in our direction now and their emotions seem informally neutral.

The water is lower, revealing a number of large stones. Zsuzsanna goes to look for some plastic toys between them that are still muddy from the storm (emergent real-life association, unrelated to my dream’s backstory), and to wash them, and I slowly realize we are now in our house, though our porch is erroneously perceived as being a rock pool (ambiguously perceived as being indoors and outdoors at the same time). I then wake.

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• Dream self mode: Corporeal with enhanced physicality
• Conscious self identity: Viable (although we have not been to Shorncliffe in real life in years), although perceiving myself as perhaps 30 rather than 56
• Induction symbolism: Water as symbolizing sleep
• Induction buffer: Shorncliffe Pier over ocean
• Dream state indicators: Being undressed and fully intimate in public (first-level dream sign, based on the subliminal awareness of being in the dream state, though I am semi-lucid here)
• RAS mediation symbol: Presumed North Koreans, seemingly defeated but presumed unpredictable
• Vestibular system symbol: Outer edge of Shorncliffe Pier
• Preconscious symbol: (Personified) Presumed North Koreans (precursory; transmuted by way of semi-lucidity in acknowledgment of waking being a biological necessity; preconscious does not initiate conflict when dream self recognizes or triggers waking symbolism or circadian rhythms factors)
• Emergent consciousness symbol: Boat leaving water
• Interconsciousness symbol: Australian SES workers
• Exit symbolism: Half-submerged boat being carried from ocean (illusory physicality “leaving” dream state)
• Waking transition symbolism: (Liminal transmutation) North Koreans to Australian SES workers
• Waking symbolism type: Water Lowering Waking Symbolism (WLWS); getting closer to the shore over time also symbolizes waking and circadian rhythms factors
• Additional personal notes: Our (present) porch as symbolizing the waking space is ambiguously combined with WLWS.

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Most of the beginning escapes my memory, but the earliest I remember is being on a small boat with some old man, as he paddled it through the ocean. I was telling him a story about a particular whale that had destroyed something of mine, or had a significant impact on my life somehow. He began to tell me a story about how a giant red whale destroyed his ship and killed his entire crew.

Well, that's unsettling.

The air was very foggy, and it was raining slightly. It was cloudy and almost dark. Maybe a storm was approaching?

We were on the little boat for quite some time in the dream with not much happening.

When we finally made it to land, the sun began shining and he dropped me off onto white painted docks. The paint was worn and peeling. He then got back into the small boat and paddled away. There were multiple different elevations of the docks close to each other, with stairs and such. There were many tables with people eating at them, and the tables had umbrellas. I've only ever seen so many dream characters once or twice. There were a lot of people. They were dressed fancy, and there was even fancy music playing while the people ate. The main restaurant counter was on the docks too and almost formed a wall, preventing people from going onto the actual land behind it. I remember sitting at the counter, but not having enough money to get anything, despite the prices being very low. (85 Cents, 65 Cents, etc.) Looking back on it now, maybe the old man dropped me off temporarily, and I was waiting for him to return? I really have no idea. No idea why I would've stayed there either.

The rest is a blur... There was something about me getting a bottle of water, and...

That's all I remember.

Pretty weird.

Morning of April 3, 2017. Monday.



My dream begins with the usual water induction (which at least one lucid or semi-lucid dream of every night since early childhood begins with). A group of about seven unidentifiable female forms (though typically variations of Zsuzsanna) appears reflected in silhouette on the surface of the slowly rising water, but rather than any type of cheerful ritual (including healing affirmations or those of several other types), my dream shifts into where they are eventually on a boat. There is some sort of backstory regarding the journey but it is not clear. I “remember” that they are from the 1920s.

My dream shifts into a (false) waking stage (which includes minor physical anticipation of the falling sensation) though my lucidity becomes more instinctual (and shifts into non-lucid dream control after the next scene) even though my dream remains vivid. The liminal waking expectation fades and I shift back into my dream (without a false awakening - only the continuation of the original ocean theme).

I then see a few men from the 1920s on some sort of unlikely open train in the distance. I seem to be hovering above the ocean in an incorporeal state. The rickety train is carrying livestock and supplies. They are going up a very steep railway bridge but which is actually a rollercoaster rising up from the ocean. The top is incredibly steep, but the train somehow makes it over the peak safely and begins to slowly go down the other side. (I do not recognize that it is a rollercoaster and continue to associate it as a railway bridge.) This event is metaphorical for the false waking expectation - that is, going up a slope but then going over the other side with no mishap, fall, or collapse. As a result, I focus on the boat of girls again (of whom I now associate with relatives or ancestors), but soon realize that their boat is not present. I notice a number of other boats. I wonder if they have become lost (which of course is analogous of losing my lucidity).

I am then on a couch in a very distorted version of the Loomis Street house. For example, a bathroom replaces the small northeast bedroom and the couch is near the center of the living room facing south. The large television is against the south wall (though in reality it was always out from the east wall with the couch’s back against the south wall). Zsuzsanna is on my left as well as our two youngest children on her left. Very curiously, my brother Leonard (half-brother on my father’s side), of whom I have rarely dreamt of in my lifetime, is on my right. There is a very unusual loud squawking noise. It turns out to be a brownish pterodactyl crawling on a cliff made up of clusters of smooth boulders (though which looks more like boulders near the ocean shore). I am trying to work out if I am seeing this on the television or if we are somehow looking through a hole in the wall into the past. I contemplate whether or not the pterodactyl will fall off the cliff, as it is getting closer and closer to the edge. Something within my mind makes me realize that this is a waking prompt symbol (just as with the rollercoaster railway bridge in the previous scene) and my dream shifts without me being lucid for the second time (though this is likely because there is an ocean association, which can cause reinduction).

Soon, there is a scene of Egyptian “gladiators”. I think it odd that a sticker book Zsuzsanna and our children are looking at has images that exactly match the design of what the “gladiators” are wearing on the television. Leonard points out the advertising on the armor that a few of the Egyptians are wearing. I do not consider how ludicrous it is that ancient warriors would have modern commercial symbols and English writing on their armor. One of the symbols is the McDonald’s logo engraved on the armor just above the warrior’s waist. This is curious as it is made up of two upward and downward slopes so could be seen as a waking precursor symbol just as the earlier rollercoaster railway bridge of the similar shape. The phrase “phone home” is also engraved lower down on the armor. (This is hilarious as it symbolizes communication between dream self and subliminal threads of conscious self identity, yet once again, I do not catch the dream dynamic).

My dream then shifts into vivid liminal space. I find myself walking out onto the porch (most common liminal space setting and often the last setting in a dream due to its nature). A group of unfamiliar people wearing fancy clothes from the 1920s are seated in at least three locations. Still, one male closest to the open living room door (on the right of it) seems to be dressed more as if from the late 1700s. I decide to ask what year it is. The unfamiliar male near the doorway starts reciting curious (but unremembered) poetry, with something like “three years beyond 1921”, soon informing me clearly that it is 1924. Looking out at the street (through the porch windows), I notice a number of cars from the 1920s, yet I do not see the car that the girls are supposed to be arriving in.

The other male gets up and needs to use the bathroom. He seems very cheerful and friendly. Because the porch is a “different space” apart from the main dream setting, he seems very much in awe when going into the living room and to the bathroom door since that part of the house is “my time” (as in contrast to this dream’s personified emergent consciousness), though I remain on the porch, watching him through the doorway. However, the bathroom door is locked from the outside and he does not know how to use a knob lock. He returns to the porch, still in awe yet seeming very happy. I tell him that I am from 2016 (not remembering it is actually 2017). I tell him that I will unlock the bathroom door for him. Instead, he starts touching my face, hands, shoulders, wrists, and arms, pressing his fingers against me as if he thinks I am not quite human, me “being from the future”. I tell him (at least twice) that I am a “hologram”. (This is technically correct. The personified subconscious, always the dream self in first person when not lucid, as it certainly is not the conscious self identity, is technically a type of hologram, especially as the dream self certainly does not have a real physical body either.)

He continues to push his fingers against my face and begins to smell me, while remaining very cheerful. The sense of touch is extremely enhanced and “accelerated” here. Coalescence (dream self unity of all other dream characters - where all the dream characters quickly merge into the dreamer like blobs of pale light into a swimming pool) soon occurs and of course it is me who has to actually wake up to use the bathroom.

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Understanding dreams and dream dynamics:

• Water remains my most common form of induction (and real-time symbol for sleep) and this is apparently true for the whole of society, as the majority of commercial relaxation, meditation, and self-hypnosis tapes have included the sound of the ocean, a river, or a waterfall.
• The metaphorical waking precursors (especially the rollercoaster railway bridge where I actually felt a slight physical shift into liminal space even though I was nowhere near it) not completing and instead bringing me back into the dream state is not that common (especially when I have to wake to use the bathroom). Instead, it took my personified emergent consciousness to bring me out directly (though still oddly sustained). (I assume he was not my personified preconscious even considering the porch setting as he was not aggressive or confrontational in any way and there was no additional shift other than last-stage coalescence.)
• I presently associate my brother Leonard with fake news (which he is continuously posting on Facebook). This is likely to be a dream sign here, “fake news” being analogous to being in a (non-lucid or subliminally lucid) dream. Also, he is on my right, and the emergent consciousness precursor often has its event horizon on the right. (This is developed out of reading from left to right and a number line being oriented left to right, not on the disproved concept of left-brain and right-brain.)
• The seeming contradiction of the waking precursors not completing is likely biological and based on circadian rhythms. Even with a need to use the bathroom, the body still requires a certain amount of rest. (It is also possible that the anticipatory muscle states being mixed, that is - both whole body and bladder pressure - were responsible for the atypical dynamics and truncated symbolism.)
• This dream utilizes an altered setting based solely on dream state and waking dynamics, where the emergent consciousness goes towards the bathroom, which replaces the real bedroom. This is directly symbolic of me needing to leave my bed and go to the bathroom. The door is locked, so I still need to physically wake to use it (though often dreams render peculiar bathrooms or annoying situations as a trigger to deliberately bring the dreamer out of sleep).

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I was in a large high-rise with several others. Among them my former friends (Fenn & Barra). There was a large window overlooking the city, which was definitely Brussels. The atmosphere was tense. Something was happening, something "global". I said "they" would never go as far as nuking a certain military target (some 20 miles from the city). But then, a nuclear explosion occurred right in the center of the city. In that split second, I came to the horrible realization how wrong I was. The explosion was blinding and the fireball spread quickly, and I knew we were fucked. In that moment, I realized I was going to die. There was not enough time to think about it, not even enough time to get properly scared (only the onset of fear with a little bit of denial). I felt the intense heat from the blast almost scorching my face, and everything got really bright as the fireball arrived. But suddenly, it was gone. No fireball, no other people, nothing. I was still terrified, ran the other direction and jumped out of the window on the other side of the building (a smaller window). Not sure if it broke, or if I phased through it. I effortlessly flew away, and got out of there. After a while, I was flying over a wide road that no longer looked like Brussels. The weather was a lot sunnier than before, also. I made another stylish landing, and remembered what I'd seen. I had obviously been thrown back in time, somehow. I thought to myself that I should probably do something about it, and stop it from happening. After all, I had knowledge of the events, and I had this cool set of powers which kind of made me responsible. I think I suddenly 'knew' about all my other abilities, ones I had used in previous dreams but not in this one yet.

Nightmare time. I recall being in a building (just on floor, ground level) full of poorly-lit (and confusing) corridors with doors that all looked the same. Some kind of monster was loose. I could never get a proper look at it, but it was the stuff of nightmares. It didn't really have a shape of its own. It can best be compared with "The Thing", as it could also body-snatch victims. In one scene, it got very close as it attacked me and another person (or several). At this point, it was more or less an amorphous mass of grey "matter", but definitely biological (a bit like the Molded from Resident Evil 7). It made a leap for me, but I ducked away and it missed. It undoubtedly killed the other guy as I ran away through the corridors - terrified of course. I went through doors without knowing where they'd lead me. They all looked the same. I closed doors behind me, and locked them. It could bust through doors without a problem. I entered a bathroom, and for a moment I thought I'd run into a dead end. It would catch me for sure. But then I noticed a door I hadn't seen before... on the opposite side of the entrance. It lead to another wing of the building. I kept running, and came to the docks (!!). There was a person in the last room before I got outside (I think). I also found a box full of things I could use as weapon. Including a rusty Katana in a plain wooden sheath. I shrugged at the shitty quality of the blade, and took it anyway. I ran across the docks, an reached a ship. It looked like an old fishing boat. I managed to convince the crew and owner that we needed to leave right away. As they prepared to cast off, I kept an eye on the building. I *knew* the beast wasn't going to give up, and it was after me.

This nightmare took place on an island, I think. There was some kind of "infection" spreading. Not a simple disease, but something monstrous. I knew this dream was "the sequel" to the previous one. The whole atmosphere was terrifying. In the end, we'd made it to an airport, and had boarded a plane to escape. I looked out of the window as we were taxiing. The tarmac was covered in a kind of fleshy "red weed", which was taking over the whole island. But only we (me and the others from the group) could see it... no one else. It was playing mind tricks on us... In another scene, someone had died. One of my companions, an alien (humanoid, but not quite human), was angry at me because I hadn't paid my proper respects at his funeral. I was too shocked at the time, because his body was full of (and overgrown with) the horrific red weed. It was a repulsive sight. In the end, we had to do something to end the infection. It happened in a relatively small basement, and involved a bizarre puzzle on the wall involving foods (linking food to a certain category, also some math)...

I was driving car through city at night. But something just felt "wrong". Like, something evil was in the air. A general sense of dread that also filled the previous dream. Suddenly, my car didn't want to accelerate properly anymore, and it took effort on my part just to make it move. I pulled over. At some point I pull a cover off my car (like a sail people put over their cars to protect them from the winter cold). I drove off again, and noticed I'd forgotten to turn my lights on again. At a junction, I looked to my right and recognized a former classmate (Tim Botte) on the sidewalk. I think I was distracted and didn't realize the light had gone green. I made a right turn at the light (depite not being in the right section for that maneuver). What a boring ending!

Dream #NYMB53.

Morning of January 1, 2017. Sunday.

Reading time: 1 min 28 sec. Readability score: 68.



My dream starts out with a typical water induction state (the most common beginning since early childhood as water symbolizes sleep and its dynamics in real time) and eventually becomes an area near a boat dock. It is in an unknown area near the ocean and seems to be late morning. I walk around as if perhaps looking for a boat to buy. Most are small motorboats. I look more closely at one near the outer wall of a commercial building.

Someone says “seven thousand dollars” loudly and clearly, but I think he might be talking to someone else who is looking around at the boats (though this is not certain).

I am sitting in a tavern. A person is sitting near me, and he or she turns to look at me. They are wearing a baggy cloth cat mask that covers their head. It is a pale yellowish cream color and almost seems like finer burlap in texture. It does not look quite right as if their head may be too small or perhaps slightly misshapen. I do not perceive any threat or sense of danger. I consider making an amusingly rude remark, but I do not. There is a sudden clear sound seemingly about five feet away that may be a bottle falling off a shelf.

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It was part of a sequence of about twenty different scenes, but these are the clearer and stabler parts. It stems from the kind where I watch hundreds of settings rapidly change like a slideshow, eventually slowing down and stabilizing. Sometimes I deliberately step into a setting. Other times I let it expand around me, and I am within my illusory dream body.

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A cat, though not a real cat here, is a witness to the dream state and a factor of circadian rhythms (associated with night). Being only a cat mask implies my dream is losing cohesion, but it is also a coalescence factor of the emerging consciousness that the color yellow also represents. It is also reminiscent of a scarecrow, a dynamic of physicality being inactive as is one when sleeping. It is also like having a pillowcase over one’s head. The bottle falling was the waking prompt.

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