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I don’t remember much from the last two nights. A fragment or two, and one near lucid:

Buying Food (fragment)

…I am in a cafeteria-type place buying food. I think it might be chicken. I put a piece of something on my plate…

Riker’s Lucid Dream

I am in a bathroom. I try to turn on a light, but it won’t turn on. I try another light or two, but they don’t turn on either. Then I remember that I sometimes dream that I’m trying to turn lights on, but they won’t turn on. I do a nose pinch RC, and find that I can breathe. However, I somehow get the impression that this is Riker’s lucid dream (Riker from Star Trek TNG). Not mine, apparently?

I don’t know if I was lucid but not thinking clearly, or if I wasn’t lucid. I don’t know exactly what it meant that it was Riker’s dream. That I was a DC in the dream? Or that I was actually Riker dreaming that I was someone else? Either scenario would be interesting.

I am walking outside somewhere, I think with Dad and one other around my age. The landscape is of a desert, but not really the Nevada desert (maybe more like Arizona). We come upon the start of a small creek, literally the spot where it is coming up through the ground. It then increases in size until within only a few yards it’s become turgid. In the places where the water is still, I notice how it is a bright, opaque turquoise. It is very striking on the brown and sparse green. We follow this river until it leads to an opening in a slight hillside. The opening then becomes a natural tunnel, maybe 20 feet across and 20 feet high. The river has carved its spot along the bottom and we walk a few feet higher than it, along a path set into the left hand side. As I walk, I push some of the soil down on the right side of the path, as it feels unsturdy. We now begin to think that this’ll lead to Mexico, which makes us think this is a drug smuggling tunnel, which causes us to turn around and leave with some vigor and fear, lest we get caught here.




I am in the bathroom of some public place (or maybe a private place, but where others would be using this bathroom). The room is plain and white. Lifting the toilet lid, I see someone hasn’t flushed. I do so and am revolted when the feces refuses to move, let alone flush. The single piece is impossibly large, probably almost a foot long and a few inches high. I am again revolted when I remember that it’s mine. I prod it with an object but it will not break apart.




I am outside with some unfamiliar boy about my age or younger. I think that he looks Asian, but he tells me he’s an exchange student from Ethiopia. The landscape is desert and we’re outside of an empty looking storefront that seems to be the only thing around. He makes a comment about the heat, either that it’s a lot more or less than Ethiopia.
*I think this might’ve been before the first dream/he was the other person in it.

I am inside somewhere. I am in some area that is either a hallway or a long bathroom. There is a stall with quite a large gap between the floor and the wall. My coworker and I are taking the toilet out and installing one that has some hidden mirror. This coworker (unfamiliar) sits on it while I stand outside of the stall to see how it looks. The toilet just seems like it’s highly reflective stainless steel. I can clearly see his pale thighs but not much else. I go in and reposition it to where I think it’ll offer a better view. I think our office must be right outside this stall. Now someone, he almost seems like a school’s principal, has caught us. We are made to put it all back (we moved a few other things), and all I can feel is shame. I then begin to think that he didn’t actually know our motive but just thought that we were messing around, which offers me a bit of relief. Now I’m in some room, by some filing cabinets?, with this coworker, noticing his short, red hair. He is friendly and talkative and starts talking about Scott. I contribute to the conversation and add that Scott was a great boss. Now I’m working and/or browsing in a plain white, dim room. There are some black milk crates of music on various media. I find a copy of the Tool album Salival on a VHS that is still in the shrink wrap. I then find that the bottom is open but that you can slide it back in if you’re careful. I think that this is rare and that I have to get it since it’s only a few dollars. I think I don’t have anywhere to play it but that it’s probably a collectible or a good return on investment if I were to sell it. I find a few cassettes? and then walk up to the counter to check out with Julia. The counter seems to stand alone outside in this pretty barren landscape. She looks at the items and says I can just take them because she overcharged me last time. Excited at this, I say thanks and walk off. I get the sense that I’ll be walking home.

I am outside of some house, I think with Makayla. This house seems somewhat large and removed from everything else. We’re on the bank of a small, slow flowing river that reflects the sky and surrounding foliage. We notice what looks like the top of the head of a crocodile slowly drifting from one side to the other. I think Makayla wants to call someone about it. Now, we see that it is just the head, like it’s a fossil or something. I look at the reflections and think about coming out here to swim during sunrise. I go inside now - I think I’m staying here for some period of time. I go into a bathroom that seems to be one of the first rooms in here. I sit on the toilet - the only thing in here - and notice that the room is bigger than most bedrooms. The floor seems to be a light blue linoleum, and it stretches horizontally in relation to the toilet. There are three doors, to my left and right and behind me; all are open. I notice Melissa through the left one. She is sitting and slowly drops her bra strap to show me her boob. She then crawls over, naked, and I think tells me sexual things. I am naked too.

I am outside and walking through a neighborhood with a few others. It seems like we’re doing something for a school assignment. We’re looking for a certain house and come up on one that I think is right because it looks familiar. The house is white with a light blue trim. It’s slightly downhill from the street and is placed horizontally on the lot. The garage is open, revealing all of the stuff inside that looks familiar. The number is something like 150105. I look on the map on my phone, and it shows us about halfway down this street. Looking to the left, I see that the street starts to incline somewhat significantly, telling them I don’t remember going uphill. I tell them I can also search Canvas to see if it’s the right one. I do so and don’t think I find anything. We end up deciding that it’s the right house. We go inside, and it’s kind of empty and dim. The others take an open riser staircase to the second floor. I stay back and then walk back to the front door. The owner has arrived - it’s David from Discology and his son. They’re walking up and I meet them at the glass sliding door. I don’t think much is said, and I guess he doesn’t find it weird that I’m in his house. I say something about the others, and I think he goes to look for them, using a flashlight. I think it is somewhat intense.




I’m at work and going on a break. I need to use the bathroom, and we have to use Sani Huts. they are scattered all around this parking lot, and I head for a line of them up against a fence. There is a handicapped one, which I take because it is larger, because it is not busy out here, and because there are more in case someone needs it. I am relieved when I step in and find it clean and without much of a scent. I use some toilet paper to put the seat down. I think I am just sitting on top of the seat now, and I notice a window in here. Through it, I see a bed, upon which sit several people. I notice two girls, a couple, what look very similar if not almost the same. They are reclined, tan, and naked from the waist up. Currently, each has her arms above her head, which gently lifts her breasts and perky nipples. They begin taking off each other’s underwear and kissing, so I take out my phone and start taking a video on Snapchat. I can’t believe I can see this from here and no one can see in. I briefly contemplate its potential. I end up in another Sani Hut now, and it has the same kind of window. This one seems to be at the end of a dirt road or parking lot. To the left is an old station wagon with an open back. There are one or two women and some kids (maybe on a sports team?) approaching it - it must be theirs. One of the women, Asian?, is wearing a Grateful Dead shirt I’ve never seen before. It’s black and is tasteful; it also looks like it could be homemade. I think it’s cool that she’s into them, I think because it’s a change from the typical white male. They all start getting into the back of the car, which has blankets and I think string lights. They start playing music and smoking weed out of a lightbulb. One guy, Asian, takes a quick but large hit. I know that I don’t smoke, but they seem to be having a great time, which is fine by me. Now, I’m walking out to the Sani Huts again. It is raining fairly hard, which I barely feel. I’m walking over the rocks in a median and notice it pooling up here as well as along the sides of the road.

I am at Melissa’s house (though this house looks nothing like it). I’m in a larger, open living room that I think is mostly barren except for a short, wooden shelf with a larger TV on it. I think it’s off right now. The place seems somewhat dirty and doesn’t have the feeling of a home. In here is her mom, someone unfamiliar, and a guy that looks like Ryan. He has those same drug-addled features, and I instantly dislike him. I think the other is the same, and, sadly, there is something a little off about her mom too. They all seem to be arguing about something dumb, and I sense that it’s going to lead to a fight. Her mom starts talking to me for a while, but I’m eventually able to sneak away. I end up in a small kitchen with two counters, one at a diagonal to the other. Each has a sink, and I recognize the one facing the TV as the one her mom likes to use. I’m washing my hands in the other, notice I’ve left a small pool on the tan tile, and leave it there. I figure I can go this way to sneak off to Melissa’s room, and head that way. Suddenly, an old lady in a thin, pink bathrobe bursts out of a bathroom and rushes past me without a word. It startles me. Now I’ve made it to Melissa’s room (different) and notice that it’s kind of messy. She’s sitting at a desk in the corner, wearing what is either pajamas or lingerie, a matching blue set. They look like satin and lace. We start talking and I think I’m sitting or something, as she comes over, puts a leg up and pulls the bottom to the side, and I start licking her. I’ve barely started when a noise just outside the door causes her to jump back and straighten herself up at the desk again. I sit up normally, but am laughing as Brooke comes in. I don’t worry about it, as I could’ve been laughing at a joke for all she knows. There is a mirror across from me, and looking in it I move a portion of my hair along the part.




Michelle is driving me and Melissa somewhere, and she is driving terribly. She starts driving the wrong way and only us telling her causes her to realize it. The cars that were coming slow and stop for her as she reverses. Having not reversed far enough, she hits the landscaped divider and then decides to drive right over it. She makes it to the other side, but we are still going the wrong way. We eventually end up going the right way, as I notice an old fashioned sheriff car turn right in front of us. I think ‘oh god’ or something similar and hope for the best.




I am sitting in my car that is backed into the driveway. I know it is 6 am; it is light out but the sun is not up yet. The mountains glow yellow, pink, and blue. I had woken up, started listening to an early Pink Floyd show, and then came out here. I notice a larger family on the street in front of me. There are about three or four kids of different ages. All are wearing shorts and tee shirts and look happy and ready to go. They also look like they’re deciding which way to go, pointing and looking back and forth. The next thing I know, they’re walking up the lawn towards our house. I am on edge for a second, but then think they’re probably just going into the communal area. I’m now back inside and see my things on the bed where I left them. I think it’s my laptop and a dream journal. This room seems square and somewhat empty. I think about finishing the show, but Melissa is awake. Surprised, I ask if she feels awake, and she enthusiastically says yes.




I’m in a parking lot with some others. It seems dim to dark out. We are secretly going to put a sticker or two on Felicia’s car (a white car or truck?). The sticker is three words, I think, including ‘fuck’ or ‘fucking’.

I am on a walk. I notice someone coming up behind me so I step side to let them pass. I then notice an old couple coming up quickly and wait for them too. I overhear the man tell the woman that it’s time to start their cardio. I think that’s great for them, given their age. I notice how thin his legs are and how thin she is. They pass me on a footbridge that’s probably 30 feet or so long, winding, with some snow left on it. Getting behind them, I say “mind if I try to keep up with you guys? It might be good for me” as they’re starting to jog. I don’t think they mind even though I’m not sure they say anything and I keep following even though I know it’s weird what I just did. We do end up talking about different hiking areas. The man mentions somewhere in Orange County, as if it’s close, and then a spot that actually is nearby. He points when he talks, but I focus more on the woman (maybe because she is closer?). He says ‘hello’ to get my attention and then looks irritated when I look up after it’s already too late. They are both nice and kind of blunt. We’re on a straightaway of an old dirt road among some pines. To my left there is a small field. In the field there is what looks like the trunk of a Baobab tree. It is topped with flags of different countries? that are currently swelling in the breeze. It seems abandoned or otherwise has some creepy element about it. I take a picture to send to Melissa, thinking of Midsommar. For a second I think I probably shouldn’t be this close to this couple with the virus going around. Looking at her, I think it would probably kill her if she got it. They don’t seem to be concerned though. We are now near the top of a hill and I’m not sure I’ve been this far. There is a good view of the city behind us (very similar to the actual view) and there is another hill to the left that I think I have walked down before.




I think I’m in a school or classroom. I have to go to the bathroom and I see that the ‘bathroom’ is two stalls right next to what looks like a teacher’s desk. The one further from the desk looks slightly larger than the other. The whole setup is awkward. I go different times, each time a different scenario of people at the desk and in the stalls or not. I think at one point HR Rosy is at the desk. I line the toilet seat with the thin toilet paper, conscious of everyone being able to hear what I’m doing in here.

I am in some fairly empty feeling building, heading for the restrooms. I almost accidentally go into the women’s - I think the font on the doors was confusing or something. I think someone was opening the door to come out right before I mistakenly entered. While the door was open, I could see that the bathroom was large and fairly empty. On the tall wall I notice an opening like a large mail slot. In it is Brian’s (the new Asian kid at work) face, staring with a blank expression. I find this slightly odd. I go into the men’s room now, which is also large and empty. I use the urinal and then notice that the other side to that opening in the wall is in here. I push the flap slightly and peek into the women’s restroom. Someone is in there, so I slowly move the flap back down, hoping they won’t see the movement of it. I think it would be very easy for someone in there to notice this opening. I now see Michele. She has a stroller and a young child. I think I am now in the bathroom right by her, but it is like she can’t see me.

Morning of December 9, 2019. Monday.

Dream #: 19,348-02. Reading time: 3 min 20 sec.



Sleep-wake mediation begins with the typical activation of the preconscious simulacrum (reticular activating system personification) as intrusive to make my dream state less inviting and sustainable. My identity is extant to a partial degree, as I recall Zsuzsanna and our family, but our home is fictitious. The preconscious simulacrum is an unfamiliar woman who is staying with us and is supposedly Zsuzsanna’s friend. She has a young daughter and son. At one point, it is late at night, and I cannot rest or focus because she and her children are making noise (with the attempt to pull me out of the dream state), so I tell them to get out. There is increased neuron energy in my annoyance, which vivifies my dream, but this does not wake me. Even so, a wall opens up, though it leads more inward into the dream state by my intent, and I see everyone else walking out into a forest. It is still night.

I walk into the forest, finding it a pleasurable setting. The woman and her two children have gone behind some dense shrubbery. The vague awareness my dream is becoming a bathroom wake-up call remains in the background. The preconscious becomes an animal semblance. A bear is in the woods, so I decide to turn around and find shelter. Ambiguity becomes a factor, and the house no longer exists, but there is still a bathroom left. I go in. The bear follows me, but I close the door. At times, I can see its claws slide in and out under the door. I hold the door closed, my strength keeping the bear from coming in. Wall mediation vivifies my dream and increases awareness of my identity. Imaginary physicality and momentum become more realistic.

I try to sustain my dream despite my need to wake. I fill my hands with water from the running faucet of the bathtub on my right. The tangibility of the water is amazingly realistic, and I can feel its heat (cortical arousal overriding virtual melatonin mediation). I think the bear might be annoyed by the hot water, so I continue to fling it under the door. The bear seems annoyed but does not leave. The dynamics of cortical arousal integrate more with the situation, and guns appear. I suddenly have a Beretta in my right hand, and there are now weapons and several rounds of ammunition on the other side of the door. I shoot the pistol under the door at a rocket launcher. My act implies ambiguous intent as I typically use fire to wake myself. The house exists again. The missile curves, but its trajectory remains adjacent to the outer walls of the house. With x-ray vision, I see its flames. I also hear a loud sizzling. I am amused. I anticipate it will explode near the front of the house. I sense my thoughts creating the dream content, but release the dynamics of cortical arousal so that I remain in the dream state. As a result, the rocket does not explode.

I make one more attempt to reset my dream. I open the door, and the bear becomes smaller, backs away, and falls into a pothole filled with water. Only its head is visible. The house is gone again, and it is if I am looking at a street. Even so, I turn to go into the forest, and the house appears again.

Sleep-wake mediation continues, and my dream’s potential exit point renders as a store’s checkout (which is common). Zsuzsanna is here. The preconscious personification is here with her two children, except they are now both boys. I make one more attempt to remain in the dream state. I walk back to the beginning of the checkout and pick up a magazine (cognitive arousal). Liminal awareness that reading is often not viable in the dream state causes the magazine to fly out of my hands and slap against the ceiling, briefly sticking to it (vestibular cortex liminality). Two can play at this game, so I use telekinesis to cause the magazine to fly rapidly all around the checkout area and slap into my hands three times. The preconscious, now a man, looks on with puzzlement, and I finally wake myself by going to the end up the checkout (exit point).

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Compare this with another recent bathroom wake-up call dream where I was in an underwater bathroom and holding the door against a giant catfish. Another dreaming experience rendered the RAS semblance as a vulture, blocking me from the bathroom in that instance because of vestibular system correlation and drop anticipation (with its association with flying or falling). There was one with the same dynamics with a snake, and one with a lioness as the RAS semblance. Some people might wonder why a different RAS semblance occurs with what is otherwise the same simple process each time. The reason is to prevent a pattern from emerging, which would confuse the dream self into thinking there is wakefulness consistency present.

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Morning of November 13, 2019. Wednesday.

Dream #: 19,322-02. Reading time (optimized): 2 min 30 sec.



The gradual emergence of my instinctual self from slow-wave sleep into REM sleep carries the subliminal goal to achieve consciousness to get up to use the bathroom. My real-life identity is absent. The urge is not that pressing, so my dream self remains distracted within an imaginary realm, requiring considerable preconscious effort to arouse me from sleep due to warm weather.

I had been swimming underwater in an unknown resort hotel to find a bathroom. During this time, an unfamiliar male is also in the underwater hall, swimming several feet behind me. Soon, a big catfish (though not much bigger than me) appears and eats the other male after bumping into him several times. I manage to get into the underwater bathroom and close the door behind me. I consider it might be better to use a different bathroom as I am uncertain if the toilet works.

My dream self passively integrates with the precursory form of wall mediation (that modulates dream sleep into the waking process). The catfish is still outside the bathroom. It tries to eat me and keeps bumping into the door when I have it halfway open as well as striking my body. After a few minutes of battling the catfish, I swim out into the hall, and the catfish simultaneously swims into the bathroom, signifying escaping illusion to achieve wakefulness. I trap it inside by closing the door.

My emerging proprioception (and vestibular system correlation) atypically decreases in the next scene (again, due to the warm weather), similar to the dynamics of a false awakening, where I typically tell someone about my previous dreaming experience, though it is part of the same dream in this case.

While upstairs, I see several members of the public present in the lobby that is not underwater. I tell a male tourist (who is sitting on a couch) about the incident, as I do not see a hotel employee, though one soon arrives. He is unfamiliar and about thirty. I tell him in detail about the big catfish eating the other man. However, there is some uncertainty if the body would still be whole or if he would be in pieces, as I recall the catfish was not much bigger than me.

I become aware of the existence of my youngest son as a thread of my real identity emerges as I grow closer to wakefulness. My dream’s fictitious backstory now includes my son being at the resort with me, and we both need to find a bathroom. However, I start to lose my sense of self by falling back into passive dream meandering, which results in the preconscious pulling me back into the waking process by creating a post-Naiad simulacrum to increase proprioception again.

I realize, as the room grows darker and with decreasing detail with my dulling senses, I had been holding onto something with my right hand and cannot go any farther (or return to slow-wave sleep). It turns out to be the yellow elastic belt of an unfamiliar girl standing at the bottom of a staircase. (Yellow is the color that correlates with emerging consciousness because of its brightness and association with sunrise.) I walk back several feet as my dream vivifies as I once again grow closer to wakefulness. I look at the coil (vestibular system autosymbolism, specifically the cochlea) that covers the palm of my hand, though this is illogical as it implies her belt had an unrealistic amount of slack near the buckle. I apologize to her, making an unlikely excuse that I thought it was the baluster of the staircase I had been holding yet while continuing to walk. She remains cheerful. The stairs are my instinctual cue to wake (though I often use stairs to vivify a dream).

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I seem to be at work when I answer a call about a girl in white what is following someone into the men’s restroom. I go to check it out, going downstairs, I think on an escalator. This place looks like a retail store, but sort of tall, thin, and cluttered. I now see the entrance to the restrooms, with large pieces of dark wood giving a dim but home-y cabin feel. I enter the men’s, which is on the right. The bathroom is huge and spacious. There are at least two separate spaces with lines of urinals along the stone? walls, each space with a different kind of urinal. The ones closer to me are stone, while I think the others might be steel. I walk up to a stone one and begin using it. It is long and low, sort of a stone rectangle with a basin. I start peeing on the stone above the basin, wondering how many have done the same before. I think there may be one other guy in here, as I seem to hear or sense motion. I look around, thinking about how this bathroom is at least the size of a large room (like in a public building or something; it’s probably the size of a small restaurant). I look around and leave a different way than I came in. I walk up an asphalt path on a slight hill. There are wooden picnic style tables on either side, some with remnants of meals. The whole area is covered by a shade structure, probably some kind of mesh or light tarp, as it is not very thick shade. Passing one table, I notice a tall glass with a handle that is still mostly full of something that is a chocolate milkshake color and consistency. I somehow see a review that they left of it, about how they didn’t like it? I think about trying it but don’t. I now pass an ice cream stand and think about getting some but don’t because it’s too expensive.

I am either at a concert or watching a video of a concert. I think I am at it, but it is like I started watching a video of it or saw a thumbnail of it on YouTube and then ended up at it. I had been looking through my Watch Later on YouTube, and it was full of Pink Floyd and Doors concerts. I noticed that I had also been watching videos of speeches or someone talking about different topics. This venue has the feel of a warehouse or hangar, airy and dim. The stage and seating riser are long. The Doors are performing, and it sounds like they, and especially Jim, are on top of their game. Jim is animated and fiery. I am now seeing a panorama of the crowd, from the stage, at about stage level. They seem to all be standing and very animated as well. I notice a diversity in skin color. The fashion seems wildly eclectic, possibly 60s, but almost hyperbolically so. There seems to be a good ratio of women to men, many women carelessly or ecstatically topless. The shot pans and lingers on a black man and white woman amid the crowd, the woman’s pants unbuttoned and the man casually rubbing her over her underwear. They’re standing straight and next to each other, so undetected by only the camera. I find some humor in the shot’s slight lingering on this candid exposure of the moment. I now have to use the restroom and end up finding a unisex? bathroom at the end of a hallway. The hallway is slightly ornate, as if in a theater or old house. I think a woman comes out right before I go in, possibly saying something to me. In the bathroom, there is a toilet against the wall and then a ramp up to what looks like a stall. I go into the stall, only to find that the door swings into a position that leaves about a foot long gap. I go back down to the toilet and stand to use it instead. I think it is too low and I aim too high, accidentally hitting the wall at first.

I am entering a public bathroom. It is made of what looks like tan stone and is very large. I believe it’s a men’s bathroom, as that’s why I entered it and I do see urinals. There is a row of toilets, pretty close together, with no stalls around them. There are two girls sitting, right next to each other, apparently sensing no lack of privacy. I can see down into the water in the bowl and it looks very dark and murky. Now, I am looking for a shooter? I think someone has sent me to do this. I am looking in a pretty large playground. I am now inside somewhere and I think I see him and/or he sees me. There may be some interaction even, but he doesn’t know my intent. We are now on some sort of small section of tiered seating, him directly in front of me. I grab his arms and twist them behind his back, holding tight so he cannot move. I notice that I’m wearing a tie dye Grateful Dead shirt and that a Slipknot song is playing. I wonder if it’s his music and about the dynamic between it and him being a shooter.

2019, 05-21

Regular Dream - Semi-lucid Dream - Lucid Dream - Notes

I am at the front gates to Disney Land with my ex boyfriend James. I look around to see what is going on. There are surprisingly few people here, but it doesn't seem odd to me. We are just early! We go through the main gates and down Main Street. We are trying to decide where to go from here. I pull out my phone and open a Disney Land map app. I highlight two paths, one that heads off to the right and the other off to the left. One will take us to Space Mountain and the other will take us to Star Tours. I tell James we can go to either of those first, but I want to start with one of them. James agrees and we head to the right towards Star Tours.

James and I head down the path towards Star Tours and we enter a Star Wars themed area of the park. There are various life sized props we could take photos of, and James climbs up on the nose of an X-Wing. I am about to take his picture with my phone when a person dressed as Buzz Lightyear says he'll take a photo of both of us together. I climb up on the opposite side from James and Buzz takes the photo. He says we will now get a trip to infinity and beyond. The previously shuttered cockpit of the X-Wing opens up and there is a strange alien in there. The alien smiles and takes off. We go up into the air. James is freaking out because he can't find anything to hold on to. I am a little concerned, but not much. It looks like James is about to fall off when the X-Wing finally lands. I am thinking it was actually a rather fun hidden ride, but James is mad.

We keep going a bit farther and I go into a restroom. Alicia is in there, I am surprised to see her. She is annoyed at the fact there are no stalls in this bathroom, just toilets in a line. Everyone is supposed to drop their pants in full view of anyone else in the bathroom. Alicia gives up complaining and drops her pants and sits on a toilet. I really have to go. I don't want to drop my pants in front of everyone, I'm too fat! But necessity wins out and I drop my pants as little as I can and sit down, trying to cover myself as best as I can. It seems everyone is staring, then I wake up because I really do have to go...

I am in some kind of bathroom or shower room. There are two larger stalls, I think with a toilet and shower head (just on the wall, a drain for the runoff) in each, that are laid out as inverses of each other. There is some girl in the other one. I think that we have been assigned to these at the same time based on us being opposite gender or something to do with our siblings? I am sitting on the toilet in here and can see her showering through the gaps in the stall walls. Her back is facing me, but the side of a breast could still be revealed in a slight turn of her body. I’m more worried about her seeing me though, as I think there’s a mirror in which she could do so. I move my body a bit to where I can no longer see her. Now, I think this girl is gone and Melissa is here in the stall with me. For a moment we were at a double sink counter, me at the left. It felt like we were on a trip and it felt weird to have the left side. I think we’re now holding each other in the shower water and talking. We touch each other.




I am with Dad and Makayla on a sprawling beach of bright ochre sand. I get the notion to run and jump into the water and tell them I’m going to do so. I run, but when I get to the water I am met with a powerful current that renders me incapable of getting any farther. I keep trying but cannot surmount the bombardment of the unceasing tail end of these ocean waves. They are quite long, and I notice how hard they churn the water.