Recent DJ Posts

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I'm walking in a forest with my family. Grandma E is also there. My mom holds a baby that I have never seen before. Mom walks in front of me and she starts to walk on a rusty iron floor that is elevated with some rusty iron rods, about 2 meters above the ground is a river we walk over. As I follow her on the iron floor she puts the baby on the elevated floor. We walk past the baby and leave it there. As we keep on walking the floor and rods start to wobble as we walk. I think about how we may crash down with this construction. I think about the baby and how it could be hurt. Mom is walking in a very clumpsy way so that the construction starts to wobble even more. I try to counter he wobbling with my own weight and balance. She says that I am doing a good job balancing the construction. The construction falls and I think about the baby. I'm by the river and lift the baby up from the water. It isn't sad even though it just dropped from a big fall. Recall gap. I'm holding the baby and washing it. I was able to wash it better than mom. Recall gap or new dream. I'm in a car with Gustav in the back seats. I have a hair spray and use it on my hair.

Notes: Haven't thought about grandma in a long time. The theme of saving children/babies once more shows up. Mom is sick now and is wobbling forward on her life. Maybe I can help mom balance her life so she doesn't fall? What would the baby symbolize then? Something that mom drops that I can save and wash clean? Yesterday my brother saw I movie. I watched some of it and there was a scene where a boy used hair spray

I'm at a greek scen and looking at people who are acting. There is a naked man on stage.

I'm in a fancy house with many people at a party. I go into a big room and into the toilet. There is a person that kills me and cuts me up into very small parts and my view becomes like a movie. They put my body into a sack and cut down more people and put them into the sack. Annika puts the sack under her shirt and applies a fake stomach over it. She looks pregnant and I am somehow feeling her stomach. They walk out and there are two indian people who are with the heist. They walk into a hotel and to the elevator. The woman starts to cough up fake blood and the man starts to scream for medical care to take their attention. They get a room and walk up to it.

Notes: I watched a video where Gatis Kandis showed how to hide toilet paper and put it under his shirt so it looked like he had a big belly.

Tuva is my girlfriend but we don't see each other because we don't have anything to do together. I take a moped and drive to her because I want to break up with her and not just let it pass away because that would be bad. The moped I use has a broken pedal and sometimes I have to push really hard with my foot for the engine to start. There are some cars in front of me and back and I drive past Pastabaren. Eni is there and greets me, he thinks it's cool that I drive the moped. I reach Tuvas home and walk in. Her family is there and I meet her parents. When I walk in Tuva says that I absolutely can't express my love for her. I tell her that I need to tell her something in private and that I am not going to express my love for her. She follows me to the porch and I tell her that I don't want what we have to just slip into the water slowly but that it is better that we put an end to it here and just be friends. It comes out very good and I am able to express myself. She says that I am right and we walk in again. There is a 2.5 litre juice package that I have never seen before. I take a glass and pour some into it. It's so big that some of the juice is spilled out. I walk out and meet Eni again. He seems happy.

Notes: I've had a similar moped situation where I have to manually start it over all the times.

I dig some gold by scratching the surface with a big stone. Some other people are there and I show them how to do it too.

I'm in church and Elina has a baby there. I play with it for some time. I walk to my cousins and see that Therese also has a new baby. I play with it but it is really slippery and I can't hold it for long. I almost drop it but Peter saves the baby. I tell him that she is really slippery. The Children are very annoying and Jonathan and Oskar is fighting over a mobile game.

Notes: I love babies.

I watched a girl ride a very fast and large rollercoaster. Sometimes I was her. A lot of people were watching. The ride went forwards and backwards but she wasn't scared. Alicia texted me pictures of belly dance costumes that she was thinking about getting. I was annoyed.

I am pregnant and going into labor. I am at a hospital and they start preparing me. They do a small procedure and give me a little wand thing. If I need to call for the nurse I’m supposed to put that on my privates and press a button. I try and it shocks me so I scream. I’m still slightly sedated. A dream friend takes me to the hospital on a small watercraft. It’s night time but I see a whale jump in the distance. I tell her and she says “Isn’t this such a cool place?” We get to the shore where T.A. and some of his friends lead the way to the hospital. One friend is racist and keeps trying to instigate fights. He asks me if I ever dislike or make fun of his people just because. I tell him no. T.A. tells him to stop. We arrive at the west side hospital where a lot of people are there to meet me. I see Beyonce and she does not look perfect like the media presents her, she looks very disappointing with a belly, uneven complexion, and hooked nose. There’s a little girl eating ice cream. Her pupils are dilated and she looks dazed. I tell her that if she eats too much ice cream she has to go home because labor hurts really bad and I can’t have her around me if she has a sugar high. Lani NS and Kristy S. are there. The hospital looks different than I remember. I check in at the nurses station. It's one of the L&D nurses from D's work who remembers me. From the lobby I hear that racist guy getting into a fight with Lani who wrote a book that he found offensive. I’m not sure where my room is because my name is on the board for all floors. I check each floor just in case. I end up wandering into the waiting room and asking if the hospital has been renovated because it looks different than I remember. They say it has. I’m relieved, I like it better this way. I squeeze past some nurses giving report and end up getting lost near a file room and engine room. People with badges help me out. There are so many men in the hallway. I’m not in any pain right now. The clock says 6. I know that my labor is going to be one of the very long ones; perhaps 12, 24, or even 48 hours. It makes me nervous. I get back to my room and start panicking. How did this happen? How is this real life? This wasn’t planned. Why did I ever think this was a good idea to go through with? I have a vague memory of telling my husband that I felt like I needed to keep the baby and he told me that I was responsible for it completely. It’s too late to do anything about it now. I’m so scared of motherhood and of the pain of labor. I’m not allowed to have an epidural. I don’t know if I’ll be able to do it. I have a dream within a dream of myself walking into my hospital room and seeing me there laying with my new baby and another woman on a large bed straight ahead. It felt ominous and dark. The dream ended and I called my husband. I could hear him approaching the room so I hung up. He was irritated that I tried to call him, he’s clearly nervous as well. His eyebrows looks different, smaller, shaped, and lighter. He brings me a coin bra that I admire. I ask if it’s for me, he says yes, and I light up. Kristy comes in and they start talking in another language that they learned in the military. Kirsty has improved her skills at it. It goes on for a long time and they are acting quite flirty with each other.

Morning of March 19, 2017. Sunday.

Dream #: 18,353-03. Reading Time: 1 min 38 sec.



Ben Walton (as from the fifth or sixth season of “The Waltons”) finds a litter of bulldog puppies in a large basket near the end of an alley. There is a male that has unusual markings. I am not sure if someone else is still looking after them (though Ben may have bought the puppy).

Before getting the puppy, Ben performed calculations and concluded that once an adult, it would produce offspring, possibly with the same markings, with a pedigree, even though it would technically be a mongrel. It will supposedly make him rich.

Later, there is a scene where Erin and Ben Walton are playing a game at a small table. They appear to be gambling with boxes of drinking straws. Ben has about six straws (which seems to mean he is losing), and Erin has two.

Erin finds some notebook paper with Ben’s writing and somehow understands that he was using a calculation to gain an unfair advantage (even though he was losing in this case) regarding the supposedly special puppy. She starts complaining about his selfishness and supposed cheating.

He reminds her of the supposed proverb “Visit yourself before you visit someone else.“ It supposedly means that you should look at your faults or limitations before finding fault with others. It turns out that his calculations were incorrect and the puppy will not make him rich after all.

---

My dream changes into an unrelated scene. Nancy (with Ronald) Reagan (July 6, 1921-March 6, 2016) is on an airplane flight to California, traveling from somewhere west, going over the Pacific Ocean. She is going to have and raise two of our babies (possibly male and female). I do not consider how outrageous that is. I believe that Zsuzsanna and I will be able to meet them one day (when they will only then learn that we are their real parents).

I watch a monitor near the top of a wall in an unfamiliar building. It has four digits in an LED display that require reading from right to left. The original value is “0 0 3 1” at one point (to be read as “1 3 0 0”). I wait in anticipation because it is supposed to read as “1 1 0 0”, which it soon does. It means that she had one baby, and then two hours later, the other one. (There is skewed logic whereby “two hours” is subtracted from the three to read as one baby.)

---

Dream - Lucid

I was at the house I grew up in. My family was there with me, my mom, dad, and brother. It was, once again, the zombie apocalypse. I remember being in my old bedroom with a family member, and them opening the door to check if the coast was clear. They freaked out as they saw a bunch of zombies coming towards the door. If I am not mistaken, through the doorway, I saw that same ponytailed zombie from my last apocalypse dream first before the horde. I went to the door in a panic to shut the zombies out.

Then, we were all packing up to leave, to go somewhere safer. Similar to Fear the Walking Dead, we had a huge boat in the garage we were going to escape on. I was packing my things quickly, trying to only take what I needed, but I was throwing lots of extra things in there; I felt bad leaving anything behind, though I knew I couldn't take everything. I remember putting a lot of clothing in the suitcase.

I then overheard some guys that were doing some landscaping work on our house discussing our boat. I was afraid they were planning to steal it, so I started to frantically hurry my family along in packing up. They didn't seem to get my sense of urgency, but I kept urging anyway. My brother had no clean clothes to pack, so we got his dirty clothes hamper and we started to pack dirty clothes in his room. It didn't matter that they were dirty; we needed to get out of there ASAP.

I wanted to take at least one of our cats. The cats that were there were Pounce (deceased IWL), Ziggy (also deceased IWL), and my current IWL cat, Belle. I wanted it to be Pounce that we took. I saw her sitting under the kitchen table. I pictured myself putting her in my current cat's cage to take her along. For some reason though, we weren't going to take the cats with us.

We then were putting the packed suitcases into the back of the boat, which was now a huge van-like vehicle. In the garage, the landscapers drove by on this huge white cherry-picker-type machine. They said something to us, hi maybe, not sure. But it made me feel more urgent in packing. I stuck my suitcase in the back. All the suitcases fit nicely. I remember someone putting some 12-packs of Coke in the back as well.

I then was getting in the van to sit down. Inside, I saw Jarrod and another person getting things ready to go.

~

I was at the house I grew up in. I was in my room, which was dark save for the closet light. I was lying on the opposite side of the bed from what I normally used to sleep on, and I was giving birth. I was alone. The baby was born, and I cut the cord myself. It was a girl. I then gave birth to many more babies, two who were still-born. The still-born babies didn't seem to bother me, I just knew I had to keep birthing babies. I labored and cut all the cords myself, setting the newborns wrapped up in white blankets on a bedside table. They were all so quiet and sleepy. I had I believe 6 in total, but I kept thinking there were only 5 there. Most were girls and only 2 were boys. The two girls born first I named Alana and Alyssa. I named one of the boys Michael, but I don't think I named the rest.

I then started breastfeeding each baby. I would take them in either the cradle hold or football hold and bring them to my right breast first (the one my daughter IWL preferred). I would them pull my lips over my teeth to simulate some sort of latch? I don't know why I did this, but it made sense in the dream that I had to do it so the baby would latch. The babies succeeded and didn't succeed. There were some attempts that were great, and the baby got some colostrum, and others the babies had trouble latching, but there was never any crying or screaming from them. I remember for one baby, I had to brush my nipple to their cheek so they would root that way to get to the milk. They were all so mild-mannered and sleepy. When I finished the feeds, I would put the babies back onto the bedside table.

I was then explaining to someone in the house that 2 babies were still-born. Again, it didn't seem to bother me, as if it was just a natural thing that happened (which it is, I guess).

I then remember something about a huge dental needle. My mom I think was going to give it to me in my cervix so I'd have more babies. I was done for the day though. I had so many babies to care for already.

I never felt tired or overwhelmed from all the babies either, just a sense of duty and a neutrality that kept me going.

~

This dream was sort of a pick up from the last dream. All the babies were there. I was with my family and some others I believe. Alana was still just a newborn, but she looked like a toddler. She said she wanted to eat some apples and apple juice. She didn't want anything else. I wasn't sure she was old enough for that, but she insisted. I figured I'd get her a bag of pre-sliced apples. Alana looked like she was related to this girl I know IWL, Alicia; she looked like one of her IWL daughters. I believe Alicia was also there.

I then was at the store with my husband, one of my best friends IWL Cherie', and a girl named Meghan that I don't hardly talk to IWL. The store resembled a "super" Kroger that I don't frequent IWL because I don't know where everything is there, as it is so big. I was not shopping with them I don't think, but waiting for them to finish. When they came back to me, I was standing in this lobby-type area on the second floor of the building. Apparently, the grocery store was not the only thing this building had. It was kind of like a huge shopping center with different stores and activities on different levels. They came to me and they hadn't gotten apples or apple juice. They had gotten cheese though, which I thought Alana wanted. I forgot if she wanted cheese, apples, or apple sauce, but I KNEW she wanted apple juice. I got pissed that my husband had picked out all the wrong things. I headed down to go shopping. I had to go down this weird, metal, roller slide thing. If you ever went to Discovery Zone as a child, picture the rolly slide they had there, only silver metal instead of multicolored plastic. There were areas on it that were bigger, darker rollers and you had to do something to put more of your weight down on those, and they would lower you to where you needed to go. I remember sitting on it backwards and not being sure how to trigger the big rollers to let you down. I did it though.

We were then shopping again, and this time, we STILL didn't get apple juice. We walked down the aisles looking and my husband picked out these canned mandarin oranges in a sugary juice. We checked out and I was, once again, so pissed that we still didn't get apple juice. We were on the second floor lobby again, and I asked my husband if he was stupid and went back down to the store with Meghan and Cherie to actually finally get apple juice. We wandered around the store, and I went to the aisles that I thought for sure the apple juice would be on, but nothing. We finally asked an employee, and she pointed down an aisle and told us it was there, and at the end of the aisle. Well, we went down the aisle and it was just these big containers of I think cereal, no juice of any kind. I was getting frustrated and worried about Alana, as she was back home and needed to eat. I came to the end of the aisle, and we were at the back of the store where they keep a lot of cold items in coolers and freezers. I didn't want frozen apple juice, but I didn't know that we had another choice. I opened a cooler and there was unfrozen, refrigerated apple juice in a HUGE container. The container had written on it on the left-hand side: "0% orange juice, 100% apple juice, 0% (some other fruit) juice". I thought about how much juice Alana really needed, and pictured her actual size. She was as tiny as a fairy and was floating around, but still looking and acting like a toddler. She definitely didn't need a lot of juice, but this was the only container I could find, so I put it in the cart and we started heading back to the check out. We ran into a girl I knew when I was going to school named Kris. She and Meghan exchanged a greeting, as they had been best friends apparently at some point. They called each other their apparent old high school nicknames, one had something to do with the name Jasmine. We passed them and went on to this weird, almost blacklight looking area in the store.

We then were at checkout. We were going to this line where you had to get this weird machine with a long cord so people would check you out. There was a big, younger black man there with the machine wrapped around him, which he had apparently broken. The cashiers or someone was getting onto him a little for it.

~

Now THIS is the recall I'm talking about! Hell yeah. I woke from my first dream and immeditely took notes in my phone. The second two I didn't take notes for. Getting that recall back up to par! Yay! Also, the hormones during pregnancy really drive up the vividness factor in my dreams so that is a HUGE plus to being pregnant, you know, besides the obvious growing a new life thing.

11/23/14 Earlier dreams including playing some great music on a nice sound system and navigating a train platform with actual local trains being announced. After a late WBTB I have an FA in my actual sleeping location and soon find myself coming off of a train platform again and I realize I am dreaming. I think it may have been the odd transition from sleeping location FA to train platform after a brief moment of confusion. I am looking down a long street toward a largish group of people sitting on some benches along the road at the cross street of a T-intersection. I initially have some more adult ideas and I am flying that way not too high and not too fast and drop back down and walk up the people for the last 10-20 yards. I see it is mostly families and I drop the adult ideas. (What is up with this more tame me?) I walk up to one of the ladies and convince her to let me hold her 1 year old girl after some dialogue back and forth and had to use some Jedi mind trick type dialogue to close the deal. The baby is cute but is squirming around too much and give her back and I move to the lady with the 3 year old and have to do some convincing again to be able to hold her. I am surprised how much heavier she feels in the dream. The dream seemed to replicate the difference between the two girls quite well. I make baby faces at the girl playing with her for a bit and then hand her back over and start to look around and think about what I want to do next and lose the dream. Kind of short. I should have had some goals in mind but have kind of let goals slip into the back seat lately. Like yesterday I am able to float back to sleep with some interesting HH's including one of a gorgeous woman turning to look at me and her hair flowing. 237

Night 4 of "meditating" on my dreams and continuation of day practices adding silliness to up attention to my RC and RRC's. During WBTB I keep a little more sleepy/dreamy and don't stay up long but stay awake a while in bed keeping the focus simply on my previous dreams with the occasional MILD-like affirmation...usually one or two thoughts only which seems to allow me to float into HH's with some light awareness. Once again immediate waking life showing up in my dreams though I guess FA's more commonly do that.

…Still in my hospital gown, I stand barefoot on the cold tiles of the nursery and stare down into the plastic box holding a new born baby—my new born baby girl. The longish hairs growing out of her legs don’t go unnoticed by myself or the nursemaid standing next to me.

“Oh…” Says the nursemaid, “I guess she’ll have really straight eyelashes…”

My only response is to pull out a set of tweezers and start plucking the hairs from the child’s body. The nursemaid is appalled.

“Stop! Stop it! What are you doing! You’re gonna hurt her!” She tries to grab the slender metal from my hand but I brush her aside.

“It’s fine,” I gesture to the child who hasn’t even fidgeted as a result of the grooming, “besides, what I think doesn’t matter. All that matters is what he thinks.”

The nursemaid looks stunned; there’s fear in her eyes. I pinch the tweezers a little harder and dutifully pluck another hair from my baby’s ankle…

Dream - Lucid

I was holding a guitar. Dallas was teaching me how to play it. I had my fingers on the strings, which were going both vertical and horitzontal, like a tic-tac-toe board. He was teaching me how to put my hands on the strings and only strum one at a time, not hitting any others at the same time. I wasn't sure how that was possible, but I did it. I moved my other hand on the neck to produce different notes. It actually sounded good! I played a couple of scales, making the end of the last legato on the last few notes.

I then was approached by a little boy. He was this girl I knew in high school's son, John. He gave me a hug, then, very articulately and adult-like, started to tell me about this video game he played called "Kingdom Health"; I assumed it was more of a Christian version of Kingdom Hearts. He then was telling me how much he loved my recording of Moonlight Sonata Movement III. He said he really liked the one that I had that played backwards. I was thinking about the recordings, and how they weren't that good since I'm not really that good at playing that song all together, only certain sections of it. I was thinking about how the backwards recording sounded, however, and it was quite smooth.

~

I was pushing around these three infants in a shopping cart. I was in a building, though I'm not sure what it was. They were wrapped in blankets. One was a boy and two were girls. I kept thinking about how I needed to change their diapers, particularly the boy's, but I hadn't yet. I reached down to touch the boy's face to make sure he was even still alive. His eyes opened so I knew he was. The weird thing about the babies was they were like "training" babies; it was like a sim game of taking care of babies. I knew they weren't "real", but at the same time, they were.

I kept thinking about this the whole dream, but never doing it. Someone else, a girl, was with me at some point. Also at some point, I was in an arcade.

There was then a point where I didn't know where the babies were anymore. They were gone. I figured they had gotten taken away from me.

~

I was at Dallas and I's wedding, though it was taking place in a beautiful church rather than the place we really did get married. There were many people there. I remember the atmosphere being fun.

At one point, I heard my old friend Josh on speaker phone with my friend Caitlin. He sounded like the Josh I remember (haven't spoken to or seen him in ages IWL). The phone looked more like a small radio than a phone. I then announced to him
"You know you're on speaker phone, right?"
His voice was then replaced with another guy's voice. I don't remember what he said, but he was talking directly to me. I do know it was because Josh didn't want anything to do with me anymore.

A bit later, I thought I spotted Josh at the wedding, but upon further examination, it was an older man. Of course Josh hadn't come for the wedding.

I then was having a good time in the sanctuary of the church with my family and friends, and I became lucid. I started to walk to the side of a table, like the gravity was switched and I was standing up sideways, but I quickly woke up right after. -_-;

~

I was with my friends Rachel and Chad, a married couple. They were playing piano duets, Chad playing the left hand part and Rachel playing the right. I didn't even know they knew how to play piano! I saw the music going by as they were playing. The right hand looked complicated. The song was in a minor key. I think I wanted Dallas and I to be able to do it too.

Then it was like I was controlling a Sims game. I made my character have this glitched black doberman looking dog. He kept getting bigger and bigger. I then put my character in fish net tights, a shirt, and I think a skirt? And my character was a middle-aged balding guy. I made his thighs get bigger too. He looked ridiculous.

I was making my character walk around at night outside. The viewpoint was not a traditional Sims overhead view, but a closer view similar to that of many FPS games. There was an NPC at the backdoor of a building trying to deliver a package. I made my character go up to him to tell him he had to go around front. He did just that.

I then wanted to take my character downtown to go party all night. I looked at his needs bars, and saw that all but one were completely full and green, with the one not being completely full just a tad bit drained. I just had wanted to make sure his energy was up, but since I had just created him he was full. I then made him start to run through some grass towards downtown. The character was taking huge steps because he had long legs. I then was the character, and I felt myself running and taking these giant steps.

~

I was at work at the bakery. A girl I used to work with at the coffee shop, Virginia, was working on the decorator's side. She was helping a customer with something. I was feeling very lightheaded and tired. I walked around to the back. I think I was eating something and trying not to get seen. I then was trying to exit the dish washing area, and I started to feel so tired and lightheaded I fell to the floor. Wow, why was I feeling so off?

I then realized that I was dreaming. The tiles on the floor instantly became more vivid, being a light olive green color and a light pink color. Almost as quickly as it came, however, I felt it fading. I rubbed my hand across the tiles to stabalize the dream. They felt quite real. I then started to run my hand over the wall, and it felt like only pressure on my hand. I got up off of the floor and started touching everything I came across. There was some black metal grating over this small electronic thing that looked like a digital thermostat or something. I ran my hands over it and felt how realistic it was. I then reached into the grating and pushed a button on the thing. It was locked with a code, and the small screen said something like "Cal9". I thought about how dream text constantly changes.

Spoiler for Explicit content:

I then walked out of the bakery and into a new area. I was in some restaurant-type place now where many people were sitting in booths. I decided that I wanted to have some dream sex, so I approached a tall bald black man with a mustache who was sitting at the booth. He had a child of about 4 with him, a little boy. I straddled the guy, and he said
"Do you think gay people ever come here?"
I understood that to mean that he was gay and uninterested, so I moved on to the person sitting behind him in a booth, a girl probably around my age or a little younger with long black hair. She looked up at me and I went and straddled her. I lifted my shirt up and exposed myself. I then couldn't hold it in anymore and had an orgasm, which, of course, woke me up.

~

My sleep was fragmented last night, so I don't feel like I remember as much as I could have. I know there was more to all of these dreams except the last one, but I can't recall too many details, only generalities. I have been quite stressed lately, so I'm guessing that has something to do with it.

Dream - Lucid

I was at work, but my mom was working there too. She had been there longer than me. In fact, she was one of my bosses. We were getting a corporate visit that day, and everything had to be perfect.

When I got there, I was quickly told what to do by another boss, a woman. Then, I was left on my own without a clue as to what needed to get done. She had spoken so fast, I couldn't keep up, and I was still fairly new, so I didn't understand the priorities like they did.

I looked at all the projects around me, and started on one of them. I was making these animal models out of some kind of dough, like a sugar cookie dough, and putting them on a pan. There were bright, neon colored icings there as well. I did some normal cookies as well, because I was pretty sure that's what I needed to do. I "remembered" seeing animal cookies and regular ones before, at least I thought I did.

I did a few of those, but went on to do something else. There was some pink, Lego-like model of a castle that needed to be put together for display purposes, but I didn't think that was a priority since it wasn't edible.

I then had to go to lunch. I was with my friend Charles for lunch. We were in the break room, which was dark. When my hour was up, I realized I had forgotten to punch out for lunch. Shit. I couldn't think of what to do.

I was then back in the bakery, and my mom was there, freaking out, saying I should have done the Lego thing first, and that I wasn't supposed to make the dough into animals. I was supposed to make the dough into tight spirals with the frosting in it. I started to do that. I "remembered " that an old work friend, Shelley, had done the animals when she worked there. She had posted pics of her with them on Facebook. The animals were actually just a seasonal thing.

The corporate visitor then came, and was walking around with my mom, giving disapproving looks and saying things weren't right. Ugh. I knew I would be in trouble for it all, too.

When the visitor left, my mom came up to me, and I started to cry because I was so frustrated and upset. I was afraid I'd get fired. My mom was sitting down at a table and mocking me as I cried. She would copy me in a childish voice. That made me even more upset.

~

Again, I was at work, but it was a mixture between my current job at the bakery and my last job at Kohl's. I was in the bakery, but I felt like it was still Kohl's. I wondered why they had rehired me. I heard people talking about it, and they said it was because they really needed the help.

I was working on something with one of my current managers, Will. I worked with him the whole time. He was very positive and uplifting, unlike the last dream where my mom was freaking out and mocking me.

It was then close to the end of my shift. I needed to go get some new white note cards; I had just bought some, and they were all browning on the edges, as if they were old and dirty. I think I was going to do this with Mary Katherine. We had discussed that at the end of my shift, at 5:30, we would go.

I then was in a freezer at work, though it did not look at all like the freezer we have IWL. It was smaller, boxier. I went in and shut the door. It was cold, but so quiet; it was surprisingly peaceful in there, probably because when the door shuts, it locks and seals to keep any outside air out. I really liked it; it shut out all the noise. I had to go back out though.

I went back into the freezer soon after, and thought it would be a good idea to meditate in there. I shut the door and started to begin my thought process on meditation, but someone opened the door. I figured I probably didn't need to be in there meditating anyway since I was at work.

Then, I was done with my shift. Dallas had texted me to ask me if I wanted to meet up with him at 5:30. I couldn't, because I was meeting up with Mary Katherine. I can't remember whether or not I told him this, but I know I thought about doing so.

I was walking around a lobby area that looked more like Kohl's than the bakery. There were a few babies crawling around on the floor. I said hello to one, a red-headed baby boy. He said hello back to me. He didn't sound like a baby, but more like an older child. I knew this was a special child. I "remembered" him being there all the time. I said hello to a couple of other babies too.

I was then talking to my friend, Ashley. I was trying to explain something to her, a way I believed I think, and she countered me by saying I needed to adjust my views. She then referred to two other girls that were there. They were sisters. She said it was ok for them to think that way, because they had it hard when they were children, but it isn't ok for me to think that way because I didn't. One of the girls, a bigger girl with long, wavy dark hair who was working behind a counter, nodded in agreement. I saw the girls' mother there as well. It upset me a bit that Ashley had said that to me. I thought that maybe, in a way, she was right, though.

Then, I was outside sitting on a bench. It was nighttime. I feel like there may have been snow. Amy Z., the mother of one of my childhood friends, approached me with a baby, and said I needed to meet him. She held him up to me, and I said hello to the baby. He said hello back. She tried to give him to me, but I said
"I actually have to be somewhere." She took the baby away.

I was then with Ashley again, somewhere by the freezer. She was saying something to me about the freezer, something about making snowballs or snowmen out of the snow that would collect on the floor. I still had some feelings of anger towards her for what she had said to me. I thought about not replying to her when she spoke to me. I don't remember if I actually did or not.

Then, I saw some weird images that were supposed to be the freezer, but it looked like a 2D game of Tetris. There were different settings that could be turned on and off, and some went on a timer, like a deep freeze kind of thing that would cause it to snow inside the freezer by blowing frigid air. A drill came through the floor at one point, ending the game. Maybe it was on a time limit? There was a voice speaking about it, but I can't remember what it said.

Awake Non-Lucid Lucid

3:00

I woke up to my alarm playing "Helter Skelter". I went to the bathroom and stayed up for another minute or two for a total of around 5 or 6 minutes. I then stayed in my bed for an hour and thirty minutes until I fell asleep.

~4:28

I woke up in my bed,hearing the usual sounds when I'm lucid (rushin, et cetera). This time I wasn't scared. I attempted to someone to walk into my bedroom, but nothing happened. I tried to get up, and all I did was lay there. I was paralyzed. I close my dream eyes, thinking that I'm in sleep paralysis or something, and that I just need to wait a few more minutes. I ended up awake at 4:29.

I then layed in bed for another whole bunch of time, waiting to go to sleep, accepting that I failed to have an LD this night.

~5:00

I remember babies, and my hometown. There were good and evil babies, and devil babies. I especially remember a certain demon baby. I also remember the playground in my hometown.

Date: 12/18/13
Method: MILD & WBTB (Failed)
Total sleep time: Around 7 hours.

I was working with my husband in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) and we were about to receive twin babies born premature at twenty three weeks gestation (I use to work in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit as a Therapist) and we were needed immediately to put the babies on breathing machines (ventilator). Both babies weighed less than a pound so their survival was going depend on a lot of drugs and machines. We were working very hard and blood was everywhere, but after hours of intense labor…the babies survived .

Note: Why am I dreaming so much about babies??? Am I pregnant ???

Dream 1 :[COLOR="#800080"]I run from someone that chases me. I get into a train station and when I try to cross it I see a train(A grey one) that comes. I keep jumping around there and wait for the train to go away.The train comes and it is HUUUUGE. Then an earthquake happens and that's all I remember. [/COLOR]
Dream 2 : [COLOR="#800080"]Something about a girl saying that I don't know what couple took I don't know what pills and that they're working hard to make a baby now.[/COLOR]
Dream 3 : [COLOR="#800080"]Just me getting ready for school. I see new socks in the drawer so I wonder how they got there and then I was like : Probably I bought them yesterday and I forgot.[/COLOR]

(color function for denoting lucid parts not working so use bold instead, sorry) 11/17** 1045 4am fragment about placeholders 1 long the other consisting of couple of smaller brackets but placeholders all the same(meaning unclear). Wbtb dream sign mantra then ssild. I have realized lately that the cycles allow me to not focus on the HI's but when I get a flurry of them I can't help but try to interact and jump into the dream. I'm in a home and there were two sets of keys that belong somewhere else laying on a bed and I grab them to put them back or hide them. I start to think where were they from trying to remember and I cannot so I think I must just hide them so I get ready to take them out to my car and a woman comes out of one of the rooms she looks nothing like my mom but in the dream she is my mom and it's like I'm visiting her she goes to the bathroom to pee or something and I tell her that I have to go and go out to my car and I see that her husband is pulling in but her husband does not seem like my father . She comes out to a balcony above where I'm
parked and she has a little boy she introduces the boy and her husband to me. The boy is wearing loose shorts and it looks like he is not wearing anything underneath the shorts so I look away, akward. Next dream I'm in a bedroom sitting on a bed next to a couple, a married couple and there's a woman laying on the floor who looks attractive at first. The couple starts talking about having a threesome with the woman on the floor but her face starts changing it looks a little odd it looks like she's wearing too much makeup especially red rouge. I start to become lucid slowly during this scene but the big aha moment was later. Since the couple was not making a move the woman on the floor made her move and straddled the wife started kissing her and at first it look like the wife was a little uncomfortable but then they all three got into it while I watched. It felt like the couple was my friends so it didn't occur to me to join especially since my idea of
multiple partners does not involve a man. As I'm watching, a woman caresses me from behind and knowing that there was no one else in the room it really locked in the idea that I was dreaming but as she aggressively grabbed me from behind it woke me up into vibrations where I try to reenter the dream or any dream but it fades into a false awakening or a non lucid dream. At some point I'm out in front of the house on M Boulevard and I'm acting silly with a portable folding table on my head running around and a car pulls up a small blue sporty car maybe like Fiat. I continue acting silly towards people in the car and I guess I pissed them off because they get out of the car and a couple of them have guns with very small narrow barrels not really like many guns you would see. I apologize and tell them I'm just acting crazy and they say okay well we're going to take inside the house as if they are going to report it to the owners of the house inside which is
my in laws house. I have enough waking life memory to realize as we're going into the house there is a party that my father in law will not be in there since he has passed away but I do see family friend of ours S close friend of M. One of my dream sign mantras was to lookout for my father in law because that usually makes me lucid funny how I thought of him but did not become lucid, of course I did not see him though. Afterwards they are nice to me and I go with him to a food truck where they are getting some kind of fish sandwich made out of a fish patty I believe. I woke up again around 6 and this was either a second WBTB or an early morning nap. I do my dreams son mattress again and then SSILD cycles and I start to get a lot of interesting HI's. I'm noticing early on that by doing the cycles it helps me tonight focus on the HI's as recommended. Two different times this night I had them featuring a newborn baby and also lots of them with various
women most of them sexy but clothed. They start to come more and more close together and I start to get the idea that I can enter a dream from one of these. So I was attempting to wild but I lost consciousness at some point but I eventually was in a dream that was related to one of the images but I did not realize that until later. I was standing in a hallway and was admiring a couple of different beautiful women 1 and then later another one that made eye contact with and I tried to make eye contact with her again but as I was following her with my head and eyes my father was standing there...my initial thought was he saw me checking out a woman but then I realized wait a minute he is hundreds of miles away right now so I am dreaming. I walked away from my father (though I wish I talked to him first now as recalling the dream I could have asked him some interesting things just to see what his dream character would say.) I walk down the hall
rubbing my hands to stabilize but I lose patience and start flying down the hall to the women's restroom. I imagine the kind of woman I want to be in there and I go in and start making out with her. We go into a stall though not my normal chosen venue and we're going at it feverishly and she starts to give me a BJ it feels really good and then another woman comes in and they are both going at me. I finish off and I think about how it feels so realistic and exhilarating and I start to wonder if it also happened in waking life and at first I think that it did but later realize it was a false awakening where I "woke up" excited and in this false awakening I thought to myself that I did something that Laberge says doesn't happen in a lucid dream, that I had a wet dream and even get up to clean up the evidence thinking that this has to be something quite unusual to do before later waking up for real and realizing that was a false awakening. I'm quite happy
with what just happened but a little disappointed but a little relieved that the false awakening was false. I start making some notes then lay back down close my eyes and then turn over and start making some more notes in waking life. One of them involves the different images I was seeing before the dream started and also a reminder for me to look up some other great motionless reality checks. I also think about how I've woken up quite a few times with my lips feeling very wet to the point that I have to wipe them and I wonder if this is happening during false awakenings because my lips are normally quite dry. Possibly another way to catch false awakenings. I also make a note that I should have a decent size drink of water when I get up from my normal first awakening that is usually 4 hours after going to sleep so that I can wake up in what seems to be my sweet spot close to 5:30-6a.m. And be able to do it on weekdays possibly but have to be ready for
false awakenings involving my wife getting up to get ready for her day. I also made a note that I seem to be able to relax real well while laying on my back if I bend my knees up with my feet flat on the bed and then slowly lower my knees back to the bed.

Previous night below...

111613*
1130 300 5:05 **Almost lost recall of this lucid dream because it lead into a false awakening and I have two non lucid dreams after the lucid dream before getting up and recording anything...may have lost it if I didn't take the time to record the dream I woke up from and start tracking back the previous scenarios and dreams. The furthest back I can go I remember looking up at the sky and seeing the moon and being reminded of my goal to fly to the moon. I actually thought about this and several other potential dreams signs as I was going to sleep. Without thinking first I took off to start flying but then I quickly land back down realizing that I should stabilize first and I begin rubbing my hands and telling myself I'm dreaming. After I feel stable in the dream I look up to the sky for the moon pick it out and start flying again towards the moon. It gets blurry as I approach the moon and it has a grayish brown color to it and I land. I start doing the bounding around because I thought it would be fun and it was fun but the dream lost vividness during the flight and also on the moon and I was not
happy with the way the moon looked...the color of the Moon I was hoping would look more realistic. (I plan to go back and re-do it) The next thing I know I find myself back in bed with vibrations and I plan to reenter the dream or any dream lucid . But I ended up in a false awakening but I did not catch it unfortunately and I was in a room looking down at a blanket with a moon pattern on it which should have reminded me right there I don't understand how that did not remind me! Someone was asking me if I can send the blanket to them, to ship it to them. Perhaps I laid in the bed for a while trying to get back to sleep and eventually just dozed off which led to that false awakening . The next dream, before getting up and writing this in my paper journal, I was in a warehouse & it almost seems like I was there for work but it becomes more like a party setting. A guy walks up with a billy club and hits some guy and I say to him really with a billy club? Then the guy starts coming towards
me and can't remember if he hit me but I remember walking up to I guess my boss and saying that I will need to leave early. I get confused trying to find the way out to my car there are lots of big bay doors and it seems like my old friend B from childhood was there with me. Someone was leaving with me. At some point the dream transitions to a party or get together in a house and I see roxana and she gives me a big hug and oddly kind of rubs her face against mine like she misses me so much. I also see G who I know from the same place and she is looking at my phone had a picture of the other G that I know admiring the guy that is in the picture with G. Perhaps she has Facebook up on my phone and I told her well you should see her husband, he's a model. A baby walks up to me maybe about 1 year old and I pick it up I think it is a girl she starts to fuss so I put her back down and it looks like she has a twin because the mother is breastfeeding and put
down the other twin who walks up to me and I pick her up and she does not fuss; perhaps the other one was hungry. The baby has strange high brows and I look at the mom and she does also and she looks more like an alien lizzard woman or something as the features become more and more noticeable. Audio information is playing in the background explaining that children with this condition have flower shaped hands as in fingers around in a circle like petals on a flower and they have trouble gripping things.

Non-Lucid: Rat Circus
Prior to my lucid, I had a regular dream. In it, a bunch of hamster, mice, and rats took care of a bunch of human babies that lived inside of an aquarium. Somehow, something happened and the aquarium was contaminated with radiation. The rats were distraught, since a hazmat team had sealed off the aquarium. They managed to save all but one of the babies.
The aquarium was in an apartment that one of the rats owned. For some reason, some other rats (and a mole? I can't remember) dug up his garden. They would do this by digging holes under it at night and grabbing vegetables by the roots. The mole could also turn into a sort of sentient gas if he needed to.
Anyway, after the whole aquarium baby fiasco, another group of rats decided to build a tiny circus in a corner of the parking lot. There is sort of a time lapse sequence as the circus is built and illuminated, until there is a bustling rat city built around it. I woke up bewildered. I have weird dreams, but that one is pretty up there.

Lucid: The Cottage:
I settled back into bed and did my relaxation exercises on my back. Once I had begun working on my trance, I very slowly rolled onto my side and began visualization exercises. As with the prior night, I began the exercise where I explore my cottage (a location I have been "building" as a placeholder to get kicked back to, rather than something like the void or my bedroom or a stupid laundromat in Nebraska).

As I continued the visualization slowly gathered intensity. Lucidity actually snuck up on me on this one, since I was so engrossed in what I was doing that I didn't notice my body falling asleep, and the change was so gradual that I didn't realize the dream had fully formed until I looked around and realized that I was actually standing in a hallway rather than imagining that I was standing in a hallway.

I decided to explore in earnest. The floors were polished wood, sort of a dark honey color. I decided that I needed to find a mirror so I could reinforce my lucidity. I turned to my left and went through a door.

I found myself in a small alcove right before you enter the great-room, and there was a small wooden table against the wall, of the sort you would put in an alcove. It was dark wood, with turned table legs, and on top of it was a porcelain bowl with potpourri in it. Above it was an oblong oval mirror with a baroque-looking gold frame. This wasn't exactly what I'd envisioned (the furniture was a little more elaborate and fussy than I'd normally pick out). They both looked like antiques, though, so maybe it was the antique-lover in me.

Anyway, when I looked in the mirror, I saw that I was wearing a green-gold bodice with a cream colored chemise and green skirts. My hair was chin-length, and it was red, but it looked like I had a bad dye job. I laughed at how bad my hair looked and made some faces in the mirror before reminding myself that I didn't want to get too fascinated by mirrors again.

I went into the great room. The walls were white plaster. The floor in front of the fireplace was stone. The fireplace itself was made of irregular stones, fitted together. The fireplace had moved from where I initially imagined it. I decided to find the DC I'd been looking for (because I have some questions for them) but I didn't see them. I went through a door to my right, where there was a small den, but he wasn't there. Since the den also connected to the kitchen area, which led back into the great room, I decided that I would simply wander around the cottage in circles until he did appear. Lo and behold, on my second lap, there he was.

He looked different from the DC I recalled, far different, so I was a little irritated. I couldn't decide whether or not he actually was that DC. For one thing, he had very short hair, and it was a chestnut color rather than ash blond, and in sort of a faux-hawk. I told him that he didn't look the way I expected, and asked him to at least change his hair.

He responded, "I'm a warrior and I don't want long hair. It gives my enemies something to grab in combat." I actually couldn't argue with the logic of that, to tell you the truth. I took my glasses off and put them on again (made things blurry and then clear again, basically) and every time I did this, his face would shift a little bit. His eyes were kind of a dark blue-green. I still couldn't decide if this was the DC I wanted, and how much I could rely on his answers to any questions I asked him, so I decided to wander around the cottage a little more.

I crossed through the great room and opened the door. Rather than the snowy forest from before, or the temperate rainforest I was expecting, instead the rolling landscape was more like the Shire. It was bright and sunny out, and the sky was a pretty shade of blue, with white puffy clouds. There were some hanging planters full of flowers hanging over the door and windows. They were red and blue, and I don't know what kinds of flowers they were, but they spilled over the sides of the planters. I smelled them, but they didn't smell like much of anything.

I decided to go find Grimalkin (he is a cat in a wizard hat). I figured he might be in the kitchen, because he likes hanging out there. I went into the kitchen, and he wasn't there. I could feel that the dream was drawing to a close, so I wanted to find him quickly.

"Grimalkin?" I called. Immediately, as if in reaction to my attempt to summon him, the dream lost intensity. It became a ghost of what it had been. I tried to restore the intensity of the dream, but didn't have much luck. I could already feel that I was on the verge of waking up, so I let it go.

I woke up and looked at the clock. I'd slept a solid 8 hours, although my alarm wouldn't go off for another 30 minutes. I tried to doze, but my brain seemed to have decided that it had had enough sleep for the night, so I got up and made coffee.