Recent DJ Posts

Dream Fragment:

I was at my old home or some version of it. I was at the entrance hall and it was a bit dark but still daytime, suggesting it was the time just before sunset. H was there, but H looked like this actress from a TV show instead. She was crouched up in the middle of the room, in front of the dark stained wardrobe and I crouched next to H and started to cuddle, giving her a kiss and feeling how different her body was compared to what I should remember.

There is a transition and I'm outside, it's daytime but probably more around noon now. I remember walking by a few places that were altered from how they should be, namely D's building and its entrance. There were quite a few people there and I remember making small talk for some reason, but no idea what about.

I kept wandering the streets of my home town and eventually after going through a few streets that don't exist and a wall turning into an open street, I started to become sort of pre-lucid and gained some dream-control, not consciously thinking about it. There was a square or plaza of some kind, surrounded by short two or three story buildings, as expected, and people were just going about their business. But I wanted to feel alone and solemn in this place for some reason, so I snapped my fingers and most of them disappeared. A woman and her young boy didn't.

I snapped again, wanting rid of her from the scene. She wouldn't go. She walked up to me and started becoming antagonistic and asking why I wanted her to go. I didn't explain myself (perhaps I didn't know why either) and I eventually conceded and said "fine, if you won't leave, then I will", so I walked away across the plaza and into a small tunnel lit with fluorescent lights and as I did, she paced up quickly behind me, pushing me against a corner, hurting me, and twisting my right arm and gripping my bottom.

She said something that I can't remember word for word, which basically summed up to be about how I often am careless with caressing and cuddling H (making me cause pain by complete accident), and despite the pain she was inflicting on purpose, I laughed at its irony. In that moment, I felt a dire need to go to the bathroom, and I falsely woke up, then getting up from bed and going to the bathroom, and just as I sat on the toilet, I was in bed again, as if that was only imagined, but the urge to use the bathroom was suddenly gone.

Then I woke up truly and double checked how I felt, realising it was all just very realistic dream sensation.

---

Some notes:

• This dream wasn't particularly vivid in terms of visual clarity but the physical sensations were quite strong overall.
• The woman who wouldn't go was some sort of anima manifestation. Often it isn't so antagonistic but her look was distinct from previous appearances, mostly marked by her shoulder-long hair being black this time. Her face was more chiselled, too. It was simply a more raw and aggressive look in general; ironically enough, what I would expect from my home region.
• Though I had some dream control, it was completely non-lucid. I could feel myself having some sort of pre-lucid thoughts but they didn't rise up enough for me to start gaining lucidity.
• The woman's young boy reminded me of myself when I was younger, but his role in the dream seemed to be minimal. He seemed to be there pretty much just to characterise the woman as a mother, as he pretty much just went off playing in the street without a care for what was happening.

12-13

Dream: In a forest with F and D. I'm laying treats along the right-side path for D to follow and go through. For some reason, it's a competition where I have to lead D through his path and then do my own path as well. Once I finish D's path with him (he isn't great at it) I go to a small dock/pavillion/gazebo where I guess I have to cross to get to my path. There are all of these fuzzy caterpillars arranged like spiders crawling over the area I have to duck under/back through to get to my path. I'm really grossed out but eventually forced to touch them and find out they're not the stinging kind (maybe F shows me?). I back through and wake up.

Dream: I'm in 9 with F's grandma (G) and little cousin (L), we're planning a party for L and I bought her a paintbrush. G is asking me to host a party or something in this room and I said fine and she said everyone else will have to pay $50 which is a great honor but I don't have to pay it. There's a big crooked cardboard pink box with a weird shape protruding from the top, which I assume is G's present for L sitting out in the open, unwrapped. L keeps asking what the logo for Walmart is, and I don't want to tell her because in the top-right corner of the box it's there, and I guess I don't want her to know her present came from walmart? Doesn't make a lot of sense because the other side says "Shipped from Walmart" in clear black Impact font letters, just upside down (maybe she can't read upside down).
Dream transition to the kitchen area and I notice a roach or two on the mantle. Then I realize they're everywhere. It was dark before but now it's morning. I try to find some shoes to kill them with and when I look down I realize there are roaches and beetles everywhere, on the floor, couch, etc. I ask my dad for his shoes as I back towards the garage door. He says I'll be fine, they can't hurt you. The smaller beetles are approaching me now, one of them the size of an adolescent turtle has a white spot where his shell by his face peeled off. There are now beetles the size of those old exercise platforms that you step on and step off from. They have two pincers and a protruding element. Each time I look away and look back, it looks more metal/mechanical. My dad is putting his foot and ankle in between the pincers and the protruding part and showing me that "they don't hurt you" but really he's just moving his ankle out of the way at the last second.

Dream: In 9 LR again at night, room is mostly empty and I'm working onn the floor with F on some christmas dioramas on construction paper platforms. I can't remember now what the first few were of, but after doing a few she's mad at me. I get up and get some wooden train tracks (the traditional kind that fit together) and a wooden train (which looks pretty beat up). Two of the four tracks are painted, one red, one blue. I offer to paint the other ones and she gets angrier. I close the drapes on the sliding glass door but she wants them open, and she opens them back up, although they part from the middle when she does it whereas in real life they all pull from one side. D is looking out the window. She's still very mad at me when I bring her some red corrugated construction paper for the last diorama.

Fragment: Hospital w/ F?
Fragment: 9 backyard? Serious w/ family?

Had a few near-WILD experiences during this period despite doing no daywork and no MILD, only did SSILD after the WBTB briefly. I did take a vitamin B12 before bed (around 10 but didn't fall asleep till 11). WBTB (where I actually got up and walked around) 5:30 till 6:30, woke for good at 7:35.

Lucid #73: I'm in a huge mall or college bookstore area, yellow light. The dream part went on for a while but at a certain point I round a corner and see F. She's wearing something low-cut and holding a book. I notice some freckles that aren't accurate and become lucid! The first thing I said, for some reason, was "this is our dream!" I don't remember why I did this, but it seemed to empower her as a DC to be happier/less distressed; maybe it was just my own perception of her informing this. In any case, we talk for a while, but because I kept diving in this lucid chain instead of writing these down in between, I don't remember now about what. Eventually I led her outside to a campus student union/cafeteria area. I picked her up in my arms and I told her I was taking her to my incubated dream world (I called it something weird which I wish I remembered now). I spun for maybe 10-20 seconds but it didn't help much except to stabilize a bit. I ended up just looking at her for a while, and she was just smiling so big. Probably the single most wholesomely gratifying LD experience so far.

Lucid #74: I'm in a small cramped room, blue light. I'm with F again, leading her by the hand. We pass through another room with clutter and junk all around and I see a medusa-like woman who's covered in snakes, all green-black. She starts to chase us but I become lucid and send her away from us, not via force push or anything, but just by will. She is moved (not pushed) back against the wall, and I will her to phase through/into the wall (I figured if I can do it, so can DCs). She does, and it looks super wobbly and cool. But now all of the sudden I can hear a heartbeat sound coming from the walls. I don't worry about it and remind myself that I'm in control. I take F upstairs and we sit on a strange chair in an 8-like living room. We talk again for a bit, more serious this time than joyous. I ask her what I should get her for christmas. She says the earrings I got her were good but I should "double down"? We talk about a few other things which I've forgotten now, and for some reason when we're talking she keeps switching sides and talking at my back; it's sort of like we're in back-to-back seats in a round booth, and I keep turning one way and she'll turn the other. The heartbeat is mostly faded but I woke anyway.

Lucid #75: This one was a DEILD. I "came to" standing over a bed in a dark attic room. There was another snakelike monster in the bed, this time smaller like a large-dog-sized roly poly I guess. Since I was instantly lucid I had no fear and came at the thing face first to watch it shrink away. It shrunk in size and kept backing up and I put my hand on it and transformed it into D, but a smaller version. Then I told D to follow me (he was grey in this version since he originated as a snake monster). I was trying to find F but couldn't. Something happened for a while in this one but I lost it.

Lucid #76: This one started as a DEILD but I guess I lost lucidity during the transition and it became a dream where I was being informed by detectives that my teenage daughter was murdered. They took me to the spot where she was murdered (the outside of my apartment where I walk my dog) and I became lucid. I forgot all about the plot and was just energized by the actions of my previous dreams where I talked to F, especially when I asked about the Christmas present -- it was just really exciting that I spontaneously did something like that. This is important for two reasons I can think of: I woke with an enormous sense of elation/gratitude, and also I remembered not only WL memories within this dream, but also dream memories from a previous dream! Anyway because of all of this I started running victoriously towards these humongous trees (they were more like tree-bark vines reaching up maybe 20 stories, like a skyscraper). I was so happy that when I felt the moisture on some of the leaves I thought of rain, and it started raining! It felt so real, it was amazing. At first I was lifting myself with my arms only, but then I thought about it and started using my legs too. I looked down and up at the huge expanse of the trees and the rain and it was just an exhilarating experience.

Lucid #77: Semi-DEILD. It wasn't instant but I did definitely "slip back" in a way. I tried to materialize something and eventually I got up very sloppily (my control was off due to awareness of WL body in a weird position). I walked to the bathroom and it reminded me of the opening scene of the 6th or 7th HP book with Harry's vision of Nagini biting the man in the room. There were two guys with country accents talking here. Woke up.

Lucid fragments: heard music at one point; felt grief? maybe there was at one point an older man giving me advice; possibly during #75 I turned a small square section of either a being (snake being) or a piece of wood (bedpost?) into a flashlight.

3x1 + 2x.5 +
10 (first LD) + 5 (DILD) + 2 (WBTB) + 4x5 (other LDs) +
15 (personal goal*)
= +56 => 99.5

Running total: 99.5

* Change the weather to make it rain while already lucid

This is just a small fragment, because I didn't get much sleep.

There is a 2 meters tall Vampire Lord in his big and dark castle. I know he is the antagonist of the dream. I am his 'apprentice', but I don't know why, but I want to rival him and oppose his dark soul.

I'm so sad not having been able to remember the whole dream, because it must have been really cool.