Searching For The Center of Everything

[Tuesday, October 2nd, 2012]
I'm in a new forest/desert land. I'm climbing on a castle by an ocean and I'm sticking to the wall like Spiderman, I
climb around to a window where 3 girls are talking and I yell, "HAHA. Look, I'm Spiderman!" And I laugh
hysterically.

I'm being put into a co-artist position to make LION KING 5. Since we just completed the 4th. This time it has to do
with how us living creatures must go help the earth. I see a preview already done by my co-artist and it looks legit,
along with words flashing across the middle of the screen to a zoom-out of Africa. (Or somewhere that looks like it has
a lot of nature... like the Lion King desert but with GREEN) then the scene changes to in the middle of a Na'vi like
forest and there's a crater that countless animals are walking to. Then after we get bored of talking about Lion King...
the co-artist who's in a different room is being recorded and put on a giant touch screen for us to play with. His outline
is in black and white, but we can fill in certain sides of him and the computer will remember which side is which color.

Its like painting a 3D model and its really fun. We end up making him either completely red or completely blue with a
hint of the opposite color. He blends in perfectly with the background save for some subtle rounded outlines. I think
about what I could do if I were on the otherside... I'd have a birdhouse for a helmet and stick my head up into the
screen. You could paint the birdhouse AND my head. xD <I thought it was an interesting idea.>

My Mom walks into the room and its about bedtime and time to sleep. I lie down next to a friend of mine- I'm not sure
who- and I look up as my Mum tells me "I'm not sure if we're actually gonna go tomorrow..." I understand, since
everyone pretty much left us here and forgot that we were planning something like a trip. I motion to her to say, "I
don't care." she doesn't understand the first time, but as I try to mouth it again, I think my waking life self also mouths
it and I wake up.

[Monday, October 1st, 2012]
(The night before this, I had smoked a good deal of weed and was still recovering. I had remained conscious
throughout most of my high and it was amazing how different it had felt. Anyways... I wake up and remember very
little.)

I remember being in a version of my Mom's old house... I was thinking of "Incubus" and was holding a bucket of dust
or dirt or something. I was cleaning it out with running water over a "well" or "sink" or "pool". I'd run water into it and
clean off the sides and then dump it. Casey was there and talking to me about Incubus. I don't remember what was
said, but it related to what I was doing.

<Casey calls me and wakes me up- but I don't answer. I'm not ready to get out of bed yet. I close my eyes and drift off
again- but this time I don't remember anything. More people start calling and texting and I just get up completely when
I decide to answer Nathan's call. >

<<Continues to Waking Journal>>

[Sunday, September 30th, 2012]
I'm with my Dad and my little brother Casey- and possibly Nathan too. We're standing outside, at the bottom of our
old house's driveway... there's furnature everywhere as if we're inside. He explains that the band Primus is the best
thing ever- so I start hearing Primus songs in my head and they apparently start playing to everyone else too. I start
drumming with metal clothes hangers on anything I can find. I drum pretty close to the beat of the songs like My
Name Is Mud, Jerry Was A Racecar Driver, and Kalamazoo but I get extremely tired fast. I switch to plastic hangers
and continue and its a lot easier. I drum the intro to Kalamazoo and then start singing the part that comes in and it
sounds pretty good. I can stay on beat very easily. (I would never be able to do this in real life.)

At another time, I'm also at Nathan's house. It's late and I shouldn't be there or something- but I just use the excuse
that I need to grab something. I don't remember what it was that I "had to grab" but it got me inside for a second. It
probably had to do with WoW.

Before all of this- I was driving east on Wickenburg Way and looking for a certain white/blue building on the left. (It
was very unvivid and unspecific of a dream.)

(Recall escapes me. I'm gonna go read up on recall techniques soon.)

[Friday, September 28th, 2012]
(Failed at dream recall. Today is the second day Alex had training. I've been napping off and on since I dropped her
off and now I'm in the hotel by myself. I faintly remember dreaming about a lot of kittens and there was a bright
orange one that Alex had grabbed and tried to claim as hers. She tried to mark her territory as a male cat would spray.
My Mom was there.)

(I'm unhappy with where I've been as far as dream recall goes. For now, I'm making dream recall TOP PRIORITY.
Time to research on the best methods and put it into action! I won't stop until I remember full dreams in great detail.)

[Tuesday, September 25th, 2012]
Nathan and Kyle were with me in a large room with a pool of water in the middle. I wandered out into the hallway
alone and started gathering up lint off the floor- suddenly it began to fall from the ceiling a long with water drops and
pieces of bugs. I returned to the room with a feeling of urgency. The room was beginning to fill with water!

I said, "Come on, guys! Time to go RIGHT now!" We all swam to the exit and up a hallway. We were waiting for a
rollar coaster elevator to arrive when Kyle pressed a button that stopped the elevator thing- I went over to it and
re-pressed it to bring it to US, and everyone but Kyle thanked me. Tyler was now with us somehow.

My memory skips, and we're outside now. After a man showed out group that we could do anything- he stretched and
flipped and phased in and out of reality. I got an idea and knowing that I could do anything- I told Nathan to watch me
and I did a very slow and awkward back-flip in the air as if I was suspended by strings. Or like an Astronaut in space.

<I wake up to Nathan and Kyle outside tapping on my window- they had skipped school and needed somewhere to
hang for a second. I let them in and told them how they had ruined my dream! But that they were in it and how
amazing that was that they had just showed up.>

[Monday, September 24th, 2012]
Next we're in a giant Gym. We're in a faction war- our leader is a "Good" evil scientist villain. He leaves his female assistant in charge. There are
about 50-100 of us total outside, and some of us are inside helping to set up for the battle. It's all innocent though- no one is to die. We have little
slingshots attached to our left wrists and nothing to shoot. So we take stacks of wooden tongue flatteners- I don't know their name- and we snap
them in half and either set them in our pocket or store them inside the hollow part of our... magnificent and bulky metal shields? Wow. Where did
those come from? Anyways- the WAR is starting! I grab my stack of broken pieces and run out the door. Already their swarming in to the Gym,
so I had just missed them. Everyone here is getting owned. Bad. The opposite "Horde" side is in single-file with little dagger-like weapons. I tell
everyone around me, "FOLLOW ME EVERYONE! WE'RE GOING TO AMBUSH THEM!" People follow me to the side and start shooting their
pieces at the single file. They're dropping like flies, haha! We're gonna win! The area around here suddenly has the feel of "Grandpa's old house"
we had to run around a stone-thing to start shooting. A few "Horde" run up to me with their daggers and I put up my shield and bash. I bash them
away and knock them on their ass and run past. Once in the back yard, I see a big screen on the back wall. The GAME ENDS. The war is over!

Me and a few other people from my faction gather around the screen... we're playing World of Warcraft in real life... The screen says, "Everyone wins!
Everyone worked together!" I scratch my head and think to myself, "That sounds stupid as hell..." The screen shifts to a Reward page however
and I perk up! There are four to choose from. I get excited... and I start to use my intuition to figure out the prizes before they're revealed...
"That bottom one... That one has to be the new level 100 DRAGON FORM!" Suddenly it appears on the screen and I'm right. People look at me
with surprise, but then they look back. "The left one..." it appears before I can say it. I hurry up to the right one, the druid... "AND THEN LEVEL
100 BEAR FORM! YEAH!" It appears I'm right again. This bear form looks incredibly bad-ass. The top one is revealed then, and it's a Shaman
thing. I poke at it, curious, but then drop my attention once I realize that I'm Alliance and probably won't get to try it anyways on this character.

[Monday, September 24th, 2012]
I'm wandering around a lightless void... I remember what day it was! "February 10th!" It was almost Valentine's Day... and I wouldn't be paid from
this new job for awhile. Maybe I should ask someone for money? I start going through a list of people. "I can't ask Grandma or Mum... Hmm..."
Suddenly, I'm in a restaurant trying to find a spot to eat in the booth... I only find one spot that looks clean. I sit in it and people return from the
bathroom to sit at the table next to me. They shove their chairs back right up against me. I scoot over quietly to another dirty table. I get up to go
back outside, when another table starts in about something to that other table. They call them assholes and laugh. I return quickly and thank them,
and tell them my name is Austin *****. They smile politely and both shake my hand. I leave quickly again before they really take a look at my
dirty hair.

Outside, the world is a desert wash area, with soft sand from box, but it's a V shaped like canyon. This restaurant is built into the side of the V
close to the top. I see Brent walking around, and then I see his ATV. I decide to get in and try to drive it. I starts automatically and I have no
trouble steering, but I turn around and coast it back to Brent. Brent sees me and I ask him if he can drive me home. He obliges.
We make it back home, it's the same kind of scenery of Soft Sand V-shape Canyon with odd trees growing out the side. We go inside and I see
Casey too. Everything is the usual. Casey fights. Brent bickers. I stay quiet (or try to.) Mom even comes over eventually... which is odd, since this
is DAD's house.

Right on cue, Dad arrives and comes in to see Mum, me, Casey, and Brent- all standing around the kitchen's center counter-top. It's instantly and
easily the most awkward thing that ever happened. Dad's starts asking, "How could you just invade my home like this? Especially after how
you've been to ME?" Mom looks totally taken back, she's not nearly as confident as usual, as she knows she's in the wrong. She has the look of a
child being scolded- but says nothing. The dream fades away to me outside.

I have to go somewhere, so I ask Brent for a ride in his truck. Dad tells Brent to go help me, and we both get in and leave.

<my recollection escapes me here>

[Saturday, September 22nd, 2012] [AI is Viral]
(I feel like my soul has just returned from the most extensive adventure... I just got done living another life...)

I remember a futuristic city- Me and Alex witnessed the discovery of a new type of energy that unlocked the secrets of AI. Professors and
Cid-like people gathered around a small machine. They clapped and applauded the arrival of the plasma-like substance that gathered electric
currents out of nothing. The little cylinder music-box-sized machine danced with sparks and lightning. It spread to every thing in the room that had
certain false AI that humans had invented. AI's intelligences advanced so fast and replicated beyond our imagination... within minutes the city was
under attack by our own technology. People were being killed instantly. Alex ran as fast as she could. I was knocked down... I saw people being
impaled... melted... sliced... I crawled into a pod-machine with a red force field that cloaked my presense and protected me- and I waited and
watched. A giant red tenticle of energy whipped around the plaza and killed countless humans. I watched it kill every thing it could detect with
lightning precision. I was watching a masacre- and was the only one in this area to survive. I sat there and watched something evil looking whip
it's bladed arms across the forcefield and slash and slash- but I stared and watched. This was a bad idea- I was stuck in here and Alex was lost
somewhere. I closed my eyes and went back in time- to before the AI made the change. A few minutes before.

I didn't go far back enough. Alex had already run... and Nathan was with me now. But instead of crawling into the safety pod, I grabbed Nathan
and ran. We took turns through the city's hidden corridors and tried to imagine which way Alex would have gone. I felt that she took a left, a right,
another right... then we were at the edge of the city. We were on a giant island ship of metal. Water spread out as far as the eye could see. There
were teleporters on the edge of the ship- and we chose one and it sent us to Manhattan... I could feel that city was already destroyed... so I
reversed time and chose a smaller city. One that Alex was in. We were catapulted through space-time and arrived within moments

This city was dark and depressing, rainy and poor. It reminded me of a late 19th century England city with no modern technology existing, or
perhaps just out of sight and not so advanced. Shingles were falling off roofs from dilapidation, and wood was rotting away. Nathan was here
somewhere in the city, but now he wasn't with me. Dammit. Now I had two people to find. I turned down one alleyway and it led down to a
hidden replica neighborhood of our apartment complex. The parking lot was filled with potholes of rainwater and a few doors were off their
hinges. I went up to number 8 and knocked, SHE ANSWERED. <memory skips>

It's been a few days of us living in safety. But there were memories of her being uninterested in me anymore. I was to be replaced by figures such
as Pompous, Brandon, and more. I felt like she gave the attention she used to give to me to everyone else. A nightmare in itself. I was devastated
but she thought it was only fair. We got in a fight that was very unclear to me and just as we went inside, some kind of shit went down. During a
party, AI had arrived in THIS town. It must be trying to exterminate humans or something. I grabbed Alex by the hand and everything we might
need- and we ran with our backpacks. People were being slayed that came out of hiding- but our neighborhood had been compromised. I saw
Nathan too and I shouted at him to follow- and we headed to the teleports. We all got in one and tried to leave to the place with the least amount
of population. That must be the safest place!

The machine malfunctioned and sent us up into the atmosphere. We all flew up where we could land on an airplane. But we all did grab on until it
landed. Where we did land, it was a tropical island- big, but not as populated. The technology here hadn't been quite affected by the change yet,
so we were sort of safe. The first building we entered shut us in when we walked inside, and a trial began. A box wheeled itself into the room with
supplies for a battle. There was a battery recharge, a weapon capsule, and another thing I don't remember. I grabbed the weapon capsule- it was
kind of old and damaged, I tried to heal it with my mind and it worked. Just then, a robot/cyborg arrived in the room with the intent to destroy me.
I chucked the weapon capsule with all my strength at it and busted the attack machine. That was easy, I thought.

<I faded from the dream and woke up.>

[Saturday, September 21st, 2012]
(I dream, and I recall it... but I try to avoid spending too much time recalling and recording dreams when Alex is here. She spent the night with me
last night and while I love her, I'd just rather avoid it all. Recall is gone by the time I'm typing this. Oh well.)

[Thursday, September 20th, 2012]
I remember being at Safeway towards the far right corner of the store with Brent and Casey... I wasn't sure what we were up to- but we left and
headed off somewhere.

We were back at my Mum's old house and I was being picked on by Brent. I got fed up with it and finally screamed at Brent that he's a fucking
jerk and then I turned to Casey and told him that he's fucking dumb for following Brent- and being buddy buddy with him. Whatever else I added
on top of that was enough for him to be seriously hurt. I tried apologizing to them both- mostly to Casey- and we both got in the Brent's car and
were headed to a baseball gate at Sunset Park. We arrive and park and I we all split up at that point. I find Mom in the bleachers and hang out
with her for a bit before wandering off towards the Little League game. I realize I'm in the way of the game- I WANDERED INTO THE FIELD.
And I try dodging a baseball that was hit by a little leaguer. Embarrassed, I run off the field and can't remember anything after that.

I end up in a house just up the hill that overlooks the whole park. The park is shaped much differently than usual. Inside me and Brent start
playing a Mario game- It's a Weather/Element themed Mario Adventure game with a hint of similarity to Super Mario 64 at least in the way the
game mechanics worked. We were on an island, working our way up to a Volcano Mountain to beat the game, but suddenly a HUGE dark-grey
Bowser stormcloud loomed over our heads. We was going to kill us! We saw a multicolored "light" mushroom on the ground that was so
important, if we didn't grab it, we would lose the game and have to start over completely. It must have been a weapon against Storm Bowser. It
was on the ground just a few feet away, but at that moment, Storm Bowser blew as hard as he could and me and Brent both went flying along with
the mushroom. It was pretty fun getting blown through the air like a feather, but I scrambled for the mushroom along with Brent and we almost
grabbed it mid-air multiple times, but it kept getting away. We were all flying towards the ocean, unable to grab it. Then we all plunged into the
ocean and felt the currents pushing and pulling, back and forth. Bowser would be on us at any time now, with his lightning, and it would probably
be the end. I could almost feel the mushroom in my grasp multiple times and I watched Brent come just as close. DAMN- We lost.

Suddenly, I realize we're still in the Sunset Park's building. I get up and walk outside, and see that it's now dark and everyone is leaving soon. My
Mum is outside with a few of her work friends... I go back inside and see that there is a delicious looking chocolate cake with pink or turqouis
frosting. I'm not even sure whose house this is, but I see a kid who reminds me of "Penguin" aka "Nick" take a slice. He tells me to dig in so I grab
a slice myself... so I do and head outside, it crumbling all over in my hand. It tastes delicious, but I can't remember the specific taste. I head over
to the truck that I somehow now have and try to pull out of the dirt parking spot and try to avoid the countless holes and ditches surrounding me. I
make it back to the Sunset Park's house and try to find everyone.

Apparently there's supposed to be a celebration! Most likely for a wedding of some sort. Everyone that I remember is gathering around a bonfire
and circling around it and dancing. I see countless ladies, but not very many men among the Bonfire Circle. We continue counter clockwise for
sometime, and I notice a few girls waving to me, they seem very familiar. Alot of people wave to me at once- I remember them all and snap my
fingers and point, making a "click-click" sound with my mouth to each person. I feel very content-

<I wake up.>

[Wednesday, 19th, 2012][12:30 PM]
I'm in a giant open house filled with clutter. The lights are very dim and there are two main rooms. On one side of the house there's just a
windowed wall that overlooks the sunset scenery of trees. The house is slowly getting darker and there are no lights. Alex had just left me- I'm
alone.

Nothing is wrong, I'm just alone. I sit down and start to just relax on the couch. I slowly drift off to sleep... I wake up a minute later, a noise
springs to my attention. On the dark side of the house, where the shadow's hugged the corner, I heard a noise. I figure it must have been my
imagination. I shrug it off, but feel a strange alien thought in my head. I feel so alone... so... so alone... I just want something to hold on to- or talk
to-

I slowly trudge over to the shadow side of the house... I hear dull clicking noises, reminiscent of Amnesia. In the far right corner of the dark side, I
bend down to pick up a stuffed animal... there was a lot of them, but I choose one that I'm most familiar with. It was a cute patchwork animal-
yellow with purple and green... Alex had gotten it from the claw machine. I pick it up and hug it- and look at it. I could have sworn I saw it move.
I let it drop to my side and I pick up another... I set them back down and watched them come to life. I was amazed- but didn't think anything of it.
I must be seeing things, but nothing too out of the ordinary. It's just little movements, like an arm twitching, or an eye blinking.

I bring the patchwork with me into the other rooms and set it on a table. Walking into the other room, I see shadows flicker and move, and things
shift around the room. I'm convinced I'm going crazy. But I'm okay, I accept it. "It won't be forever. And this isn't so bad. It's kind of interesting.
It's like I can control what I see." It reminds me of a lucid dream. My hallucinations started to become more real and vivid. Now I'm hearing
whispers. The patchwork shakes violently in my hand and drops to the floor. It begins crawl around... Oh my... then it stops in its tracks... and...
and it turned its neck to me. It whispered, "Don't be lonely. I'm here for you." I blink a blank stare back at it. (My subconscious didn't know how
to react.) I dismiss it- and forget about it.

With an empty mind, I drag myself across the house, like a ghost haunting eternity. I had no aim or goal, just to exist. Minutes passed and I knew
that I was fully insane, and descending extremely fast. Everything was talking to me now. More stuffed animals were alive, but only ONE at a
time. Next thing I know, I see a human in the room. It's- a waking life friend of mine that I know fairly well, but I don't remember who in specific.
I know it's just in my head, and I'm making him up though, so I'm not exactly freaked out. I'm just so interested in the fact that I have this much
"control" over my reality- I start to talk to the hallucination, "What's up, man?"
"Not much." He replies.

I take my attention off of him and he vanishes, and I begin to search around the house... playing with my hallucination power.
I could stare at something and focus on it, and it would begin to move. I have "control" over this at least. I scan the back wall again, seeing
stuffed animals that I recognized from real life and some that I did not. The house had gotten pretty chilly in the last few minutes. I can feel the
cold wrap around my skin. It's very very quiet. Dead silent. Not a noise in the place, save for my breathing. Out of the corner of my eye I see the
hallucination take a human form again. It's another person who I know. (but don't remember. I wasn't paying extremely-close, conscious attention
yet at this point. He follows me around the house as I start to pick things up and clean the cluttered house. He watches me closely like a hawk. That's when the
dream becomes extremely real. In fact... It ISN'T a dream anymore. There's no way something this real is a dream. It's a full-blown reality. I can't
tell the difference one bit anymore. I'm semi-lucid too... I have control of my body- but without realizing it was a dream.
I look back up at my hallucinated visitor and he smiles at me.

That smile... it's the most horrible evil fucking smile I've ever seen. One that stretches across the face and make me choke back tears of impossible
fear. I'm descending faster into the deepest and darkest corner of my mind. I'm very uncomfortable
"I can't believe how insane I am." I reach into my pocket and pull out my phone to call Alex- the only person that I want to talk to right now...
even if I was bat crazy, she would talk to me. I call, with my eyes on the hallucination that was smiling so wide, his black eyes were chinked
behind his grin. Straight to voicemail- "We're sorry... the number you-" I hang up.

The hallucination now has a long boning knife in his hand now. He's at my neck before I even have a chance to react-
"Do... you know who... I am?"
"No-" I sob.
"As long as Alex is... gone... I get to... come out and... play."
He casually drags the knife loosely against my neck. He vanishes when he finishes the knife's trail. I'm shaking uncontrollably. But at the same
time stilled by my muscles. Everything is frozen in fear. My open eyes scan the room and notice new stuffed animals that I don't recognize-
countless of them. The sun is almost gone, the light choked by the horizon. I turn around slowly 'til I'm facing a third room behind me. I watch the
opening for a whole minute... waiting... swaying back in forth in silence... then-

I sprint to the third back room... I jump into the room and stop... panting for second. This room closely resembles my old room of my Mum's old
house. The TV is on and static lights up the room with white noise. I slowly make my way to the far end of the room, where I put my phone on the
charger and try to call again- that's when I saw Alex had left her phone on the charger. I won't reach her at all now. My heart sinks so deep into
my chest. "Oh my god... I just want to talk to Alex... I just want to talk to her... please oh god..." I cry hysterically

My head feels very hazy, and I'm having trouble remembering the situation. What had just happened? I remember a stuffed animal... I'm crazy... a
man in my house... I took in a shallow breath- and walked back out of the room.

A body flickers into existence and blocks my path. Nathan appears very suddenly in the doorway, like a scream piercing silence. He has a
wicked grin on his face. He cocks his head to the side, and smiles more, almost saying, "Where were you?" Then he vanishes again. I push my
eyes closed to blink a few times- they were getting dry from holding them open so wide for so long. The house is caked in twilight- but this time
I'm back in my Mom's old home. I emerge from my room into the computer room. To my left is the futon. I walk into the kitchen and hear,
"Unwell" playing by Matchbox Twenty.

"I'm not CRAZY, I'm just a little unwell- I know, right now you can't tell- but soon enough of you're gonna think of me, and how I used to be." I
listen to the words and begin to sob. "This is so real. I can't do this...

The music stops playing and Nathan is there again. He's right behind me, smiling his cold smile. It shocks me again how suddenly he appeared. I
keep my eyes on him and slowly backtracked... then I stop. I'm suddenly filled with HATE for this DEMON. HOW DARE HE USE THE IMAGE
OF MY BEST FRIEND!? Tears slowly well up in my eyes..

...until I scream and lunge for his throat. I use every bit of my strength and force him onto the futon and begin to choke him. I shake and shake
and squeeze as hard as I can. He just smiles. I choke him for a full minute, letting my hate seep out onto his neck, before I realize there is no
effect. I stand back up and take a step back.

Suddenly, the futon vanishes and so does he. It repositions right where the computer used to be- to my immediate left... where we had moved it
the second time, when we lived there. Now, Tyler sits there on the futon with a smile on his face. The lights flicker in the house and then the
power fails. It's pitch black, but I can still see his black eyes. He can change form, but he can't change those beady black eyes.

Alex had gone away and wouldn't be back for three days. Three days of hell... My soul was going to rot here
<I woke up.>

(I cried for 10 minutes upon waking. I called Alex right away.)

[Wednesday, 19th, 2012] [After Midnight- before I had fallen asleep]
I turned off the lights, turned on the LSD dose from iDoser (a binaural beat that induces a drugs effects), and lied down with headphones. I folded a shirt over my eyes and I zoned out and began counting down from 847. After awhile I became more and more relaxed, letting my mind become numb... I would recount numbers and forget where I was and restart at random numbers- this is when I knew I was in a trance. I felt detatched slightly... and tried imagining something.

I imagined myself in a blank white room. Suddenly a potted plant appeared in the center. It grew and grew and grew until it became a Venus Fly Trap plant of giant proportions. It ate "me". But it was just the body, the vessel, for my consciousness- I understood this and made a new one, and walked up to the plant. "You are simply a creation of mine and you cannot hurt me. I love you because I created you." The plant did not try to hurt me again. I walked through the wall to the left with such force, it shattered reality. The scenery outside the white room was a beautiful beach scene; the sun just setting a dark red velvet and vibrant orange against a dark navy sky and ocean. I was high in the air, far above the smooth sand or the water, but I was walking on air, on invisible pulsating steps. I walked a distance and then decided to travel along the pulsating steps like monkey bars. I dropped down so that my hands could hold on to the level where my feet just were and I pulled myself along as if they WERE monkey bars. Still pulsating a clear crystal light.

At that moment I reinvented the scenery. I was in a blank room again, but this time I was seated behind a table. I invited my subconscious and/or dream guide to appear and they did. Four figures walked in through the door instantly and each took a seat on the opposite side of the table. I made note of their appearance first... on the far left was a fiery feline female with fiery-colored hair, a mix of orange, red, and yellow. Second, was a huge muscular, black-iron-armorered figure with a fiery green skull with flames licking high into the air. Third from the left was a human walking-stick. Almost simply put, a bamboo man. Just a stick of bamboo going straight up into the air. Last, on the very right- I couldn't make them out very well. It was as if they were invisible, and I could only sense their Galka like presense.

I announced the reason for this gathering first, speaking in a pronoun that was mixture of I and We: "I/We are in a state of great confusion and despair. I/We are broken and must do something. We must become one, and work together to solve the problems we face." I stopped after the sentence and asked if anyone would be willing to finish my sentence due to how cloudy my conscious mind was. The 1st aspect chimed in and tried to finish, as my conscious mind jumped into her body- I saw from her eyes and began to talk... but trailed off, most likely because I, without meaning to, took control of her. Someone else chimed in right after, it was the 4th invisible Galkan aspect... I don't remember what he said, but it was full of force and meaning... and it made perfect sense. After he finished I stressed the importance of lucid dreaming: "It would be beneficial to US to lucid dream. We could solve a great deal from it and the daily link between all of us. We need to lucid dream." I was conditioning all of us- we all knew that I was hypnotizing the whole room. I was strengthening the importance of my conscious mind being present in dreams. After this I asked: "Okay, so who are you?" I was referring to each individual aspect of me. The first, the female aspect spoke up immediately: "I'm your female side, and I'm the one who emits light! I keep you on track and keep you afloat with joy!". I believed every word she spoke. I turned my attention to the stick. It radiated the answer: "I am your intellect. Your intelligence. The one who collects wisdom and shares it with everyone here." I couldn't sense a strong color from him. The next to speak was the ghostly presense of the armored man. He spoke something like this: "I am the one who keeps you alive. I know what you need- I make the hard decisions that benefit you, that you don't want to make." I understood. He was the line that knew when he was crossed. I looked at the invisible aspects seat- but never got an answer.

"Are you my dream guide?" There was no reply.

I was thrust back out of my imagination and into reality. I could feel a slight tingling sensation all over and I felt slightly detatched from my body. Thinking about this re-inforced my attatchment and I was back in my room again, listening to the vibrations in my headphones. I lied there for awhile and until the crackling in the headphones that's ALWAYS there kind of made my neck-hairs stand and I had to sit up. I sat up slowly and looked around. I could DEFINITELY feel something. The room was dark, but I could see exceptionally well. The clock on the wall was stretching and breathing. The whole room was stretching and breathing! I put my hands up in front of my face and I can't explain how alien my movements were... I felt like I was viewing from far, far away. I looked down at my blanket and it resembled a tangled mess of brain. The light coming under the door pulsated gently a light green mixed with turqoise. The patterns on the pillow moved like vines- just like in Fear and Loathing's Casino Carpets. The wall to my right was Tiger striped; shadows dashed ever-so-carefully across the white. The entire room was a calming, breathing dark mess of storage- it was new to me, as if I had never been there before. I brought my hands up to my face again, not exactly sure what I was doing, and I drew a cross on my left palm with my right index, then drew a circle on my right palm- then I clasped my hands together gently.

The dose still going on- I got impatient and took my headphones off. I heard a noise that did NOT exist in real life. My computer was making it... it sounded as if it was some sort of alien technology... making vibrating laser beam sounds. Like a woobawoobawoobawooba, but much faster and much higher pitched. I knew it was just my brain being confused from the binaural beats, but it was still fun to listen to. I crawled across my bed and crawled into the computer's chair and turned the screen on... after a few seconds of another strange feeling, I sobered up and typed this.

[Tuesday, September 18th, 2012][6PM]
I remember another that day! It was the end of a dream and I was at a bay port at the end of the world. My crew had all packed up and started sailing off. I ran to the dock as fast as I could... but they were too far off. I jumped into the bay and swam as fast as I could to try and catch up. I screamed, "WAIT!" but no one heard me. I swam back in cold acceptance of the fact that I had missed the boat. Arriving back, I met a witch who was extremely attractive. She stared at me with piercing, cold eyes, but I shoved her onto the ground and kissed her. I slid my hand up her shirt and felt her breast and heartbeat. I didn't feel guilt because, in this dream, I was someone else... I wasn't me, I wasn't Austin, I was a lonely captain who had lost everything.

[Tuesday, September 18th, 2012] [Morning]
<dream recall starts here, despite the dreams before it>
I'm in an open magical world mixed in with elements of reality. I start my journey traveling along a straight desert mountain path with Me, Alex, and Nathan. There's a wild west theme to all of this. We arrive at a old stone ruin marketplace... the smell of food brings us to one seller's counter with 4 cowboys behind it. That's to the left of this path I'm on, and on the right is a walled off area for people to sit down and eat... there's an arch to get through to the inside. I think I have 5 dollars in my pocket and I look at all the menu's. The food costs about $1-1.50 each item and the drinks also $1... I should have enough for all three of us to eat and share a drink. As I'm staring at the menus still, I hear the 4 Cowboys joking about me- taunting me about being a girly boy and laughing and hooping and hollering. I ignore it at first and recount my money... I have a $5... a $2... a $1... another $1... My money amount changed on me. I look up to hear the cowboys teasing me again. I start to get pretty pissed off, which is surprising... I don't usually let this emotion get the best of me in a dream. I look at Alex and she motions for me to calm down. I don't. I think about getting up in their face... one of them makes a remark that I REALLY don't like and I raise my fist to slam it down in their face. I hear a "HEY! FREEZE!" and I let my fist go with the warm breeze just before it hits. My clenched fist's energy disperses and my hand glides slowly past his face. Smooth. Very smooth. Behind the trash-talker is someone on a horse, dressed in uniform. It's probably the Sheriff. The whole marketplace is suddenly ablaze with officers of the law, taking in anyone who is selling things illegally. The 4 we were just talking to were breaking the law too. I understood that anyone that had already bought something were okay, but the items had to be confiscated. I peaked over the wall to an area full of food and thought about sneaking some food off- but it might be a bad idea. People were scrambling every which way to get out of here, in quite the panic. Alex got seperated from us and me and Nathan went further down the path towards where we had seen the Sheriff. I glance to my right and see a Police Car collecting all of the food- good thing I hadn't tried to take anything. I also see what looks like a Gun Execution in progress. 4 cowboys standing in a row, and 4 officers in a row with guns pointed at the cowboys. Me and Nathan walk up just in time, and I pull him instantly back the other way to try and avoid us this dark sight. None of us actually "see" it, but its now in our mind. We hear the gunshots go off 3 seconds later. I turn to Nathan and joked, "Fuck, we're gonna be scarred for life now." In a way, I must have known this was a dream. We met up with Alex and then I woke back up.
<more dreams after this... I don't write any down and they evaporate...>

[Monday, September 17th, 2012]
(Alex stayed with me last night. We both had some lengthy discussions and came close to a fight, but we settled it rather civilly and got
somewhere. We talked about chakras, spiritualism, Budhism, techniques, and philosophy. Alex got too loopy to stay awake towards the end and
but we had a rather heated... physical debate before sleeping. Then we passed out talking about silly things like turtles and fireflies and my
computer's lights. xD The last thing I remember is focusing on my root chakra to try and feel it. I had some interesting dreams when we finally
slept, two of them. But only the last bit is coming to me right now...
The first dream involved chakras- but isn't complete enough to worry about for now.)

OH- WAIT NO- I was in a barren grassy landscape, and in a walled off area. There were me, and quite a few orphaned kids. In the center of the walled off plaza was grass and trees, but it was dry. Around the wall on the inside were buildings and rooms for us to live in. In one the bathroom area, there were showers and toilets and urinals and lockers. In the locker room, I remember a bully picking on all the weak kids, as if he were the only government here. He always picked on kids, but this time he was picking on real-life old friend, John, awkward, with red hair and heavy freckles. John was tired of being picked on, so he kicked the bully as hard as he possibly could in the go-nads. It looked like the most painful thing. I was like "HELL YEAH, serves you RIGHT!" though. That's as far as I remember from that dream.

The second dream-
Me and Alex are in a Super Arcade Warehouse. In the very center is a fantastic, extremely-sophisticated Mario-themed adventure roller-coaster
tower ride. The building's lights are dimmed for a mysterious effect, but are offset by red and blue and green neon lights for excitement. The ride
itself is a red steel spiral, all the way to the top. There are different levels where we have to complete a puzzle or a challenge to continue on to the
next. Me and Alex sit in the center and it starts to rise to the top, going around the spiral on a track. Once we rise to a certain point, a piston
pushes a red steel disc-floor to our level and machines re-arrange the challenge. The first one is a game of balance. The disc-floor will tip and turn
depending on where you stand, but it takes awhile to go 'really' off-balance. On the otherside of the floor is a (!) button. We both get out and
instantly, the floor is tilting towards us. We run to the otherside and slam the button down, only to have it tilt quickly to the far side. We jump
quickly back to the car and it automatically starts back up again. We high-five and wait to the next level. The next one is different, we have to
climb some stone spiral stairs to get to a "hall-way" like section. In the straight-section are floating blocks, hung from rope and at the end is a pole
with a round platform at the bottom. We both punch the shit out of a block, she grabs a coin and I find a mushroom. I'm curious to see how they
actually taste and pop it in my mouth. It tastes like cardboard, and I feel no different. Alex slides the coin into her pocket and we both grab the
pole and stand on the round platform. It takes off upwards and we arrive at the next level along with the auto-piloted car. But for some reason, my
completion-ism isn't as strong as usual and we decide to leave. It's getting kind of late anyways, we leap off the spiral back down to the
tilt-platform and it tilts far enough and drops us down onto a bounce-pad at the bottom. We head out and I eye the games and other attractions. I
notice that no one but a single man occupies the arcade. He's wearing a bartender/Gambler outfit. We reach the door and I wake up