spirit

A VIOLENT ATTACK
(Re-occurring Dream)

It starts with me walking down the path from my house. I am going to the shop. When suddenly this boy appears. Sometimes its a guy i know, (ex-boyfriend) and sometimes a complete stranger.
He confronts me and stands right in my way, blocking my path and not allowing me to pass him. He tries to convince me that I should go with him. When he finds that I refuse and will not, he turns violent.

He grabs hold of me and pulls me behind a bus stop and throws me onto the bench. He forcefully rips and pulls at my clothes, like a raging animal until I am completely naked. He then pushes me into the corner of the bench, which is completely hidden by the bus stop, so no one could see us. He pushes his body against me and pushes me so hard into the bench, that I can feel the nails.

Then he starts to lick me down below, roughly and aggressively. I try to hit and him and push him away, but I am not strong enough. He holds onto my wrists and arms and pushes himself against me.
Then he begins to undo his jeans and rapes me. It really hurts. I am screaming at the top of my voice, but no one comes to my rescue.
I could feel my nails sinking into his skin, clawing and biting at him to let go. But the harder I struggled, the harder he would push down on me. I felt pain everywhere in my body and could feel myself bleeding from the grip he had on my wrists.

I don't remember him leaving, but I remember being left alone at the bus stop, naked and in pain. My body was cut and scraped from the wood on the bench. Someone came and found me, I don't know who, but they called an ambulance.

I remember seeing my attacker sitting at a table, just behind the bench, like he was still watching me - he looked like he was playing chess.
When the ambulance arrived, it looked like a kiddies miniture ice cream van. They tried to put me on the stretcher, but it was to thin, and I kept rolling off.

I woke up shaking!