One Must Imagine Sisyphus Happy

I am waiting in line on a road to cross a bridge. It is night but the surrounding area is lit by street lamps. The bridge is a massive thing that arches up about 10 stories and off into the distance. The other side is obscured by fog. I'm a bit nervous. I'm even a little frightful of bridges in waking life.

My turn comes and I approach the foot of the bridge. Between me and the incline, there are a scattering of odd looking concrete ramps and obstacles. It looks like a skate park. I wait. Then a guard tells me to go. I wander between the obstacles and onto the bridge. It's a steep climb up the arch. I forget most of this part. Maybe it skipped by until I was on the other side.

I arrive on the other side. It's a bit lighter now, but still foggy, overcast, and gray. I turn back to look at the bridge and remember that there was someone with me. And I see her. It's Jennifer, who is an ex-girlfriend from waking like.

What are you doing here, Jen... You aren't supposed to be in my dreams anymore. I look at her wistfully. I study her face. She has a pale round face and long straight black hair. She looks a bit older, but it's definitely her. It would have been 10 years since I last saw her, so that makes sense. Without delving too deeply into it, I touch the part of my psyche where my feelings about Jennifer are kept. It's a mix of infatuation and pain and anger. Hate, even. All wrapped in regret. Mostly regret. It doesn't trouble me anymore. It's like a jigsaw puzzle that I solved years ago. When you solve a puzzle, you are left with an image. You can still see the jigsaw lines and know it was a puzzle, but that seems secondary now.

We don't say anything. She has an expression of nervous fear. Is she afraid of me? I wouldn't blame her if she was. Maybe she is apprehensive about what might happen next. Or maybe she's still in shock from the unsettling bridge crossing.

Show her kindness, I think to myself. I offer my stretched hand to guide her. Her expression doesn't change but her hand meets mine, accepting my offer. I can't change the past but I can do my best in this moment. I turn toward the horizon and lead on.