side notes

Dream Non-dream

There is a good chance none of this will interest you. If you wish for an adventure or some sort of tale of grandeur, then this won't tickle your fancy.

First part I was in a school. I wasn't sure what happened but I was in my high school and I saw a couple of kids get into trouble, I had a feeling of dread, they were getting lots of people in trouble. I walked to the front and saw the school cop talking to my friend. He looked me directly in the eye. Shit. I had cigarettes on me, and bud? Maybe. I just had to leave (my house is within walking distance of my HS, so I ended up leaving during passing period without discipline many many times). I walked towards my normal ditching spot, when I saw Alex come up to me. He was in my Health class 3 years ago, I haven't talked to him since (and even then not much). He asked if I knew what was going on. I said no. He said "Well would you wanna ditch with me?" Funny, I told him, he could ditch with me if he pleased, I just had to leave before I got in legal trouble.

Suddenly a picture arose in my minds eye. They blocked my ditching spot. I don't know why, I don't know how I knew, but it was indubitable. "Shit!" I exclaimed. "Come with me, were going through the courtyard." There was a courtyard in the middle that cut through the school, it was the quickest way to get from front to back. I checked my back really quick, the school cop was tailing me. Why were they interested in me? What did I do to stick out. I walked briskly through the courtyard. A teacher grabbed Alex. It would be pointless to grab him, he would get in trouble for trying to ditch, but he didn't carry anything illegal on him. Besides, he must have had some heat on him for the teacher to grab him instead of me... Although he was smaller. I opened the door farthest from the front. This door opens to the freshman hallway. There are never deans there, and despite it being the "freshman" hallway, enough upperclassmen were there to cover me from eyesight. Not to mention the hallways were short with quick turns. I lost the school cop and went out of the door running to my house.

I memory lapsed. I was on my way back to school. None of the preceding part was remembered, I only thought that my teachers would be disappointed that I had finished no work. I went the long way around school and I got onto the campus when I realized that I had a doral cigarette in my ear. Good thing I didn't go into school XD. I checked my phone to see if I had time to smoke it, or if I had to ditch it. It was 6:58. School didn't start till 7:20, I had time without a doubt. I smoked it and walked around the school (staying off campus grounds, that would be illegal).

I memory lapsed again. I was talking to my mom. I asked if I could go to Misha's house (my neighbor). She said it was fine, I walked over and he wasn't home. I asked his little brother where he was, and he said he was with my brother in X's house (I don't think X was a real neighbor of mine). I walked over to X's house to see if Misha and X wanted to go somewhere. When I got inside I saw X on his computer, and he said that Misha was upstairs. On my way up I saw four little black brothers talking. I heard Natasha ask what I was doing (by my name, she didn't know I was around the corner). The brothers all said I was drinking over around the corner. I said I wasn't drinking, but I felt stupid because I'd figured they'd assume my actions were out of drunken stupor, instead of just regular stupor. I walked over and around the corner, I saw Natasha and then she disappeared. Behind her, a blender appeared. Assuming she'd turned into a blender, I asked the blender for a hug. I looked around to see Natasha, somehow just to my left. I gave her a hug, I haven't seen her in over a week. Not a single thought of her adultery went through my mind. I was genuinely happy to see her. I turned around.

My mom had just walked in and "cracked down on the party." She heard the kids saying I was drunk, asked why I wasn't at Misha's. I explained that I had just gotten there a moment ago and she laughed and said nice try, I was going to be grounded.

I woke up with 2 thoughts. The first that my mom is giving herself unnecessary stress with her recent worries about me. She believes I am a ne'er do well because of a recent misunderstanding. This upset me. But not as much as the second thought, which was that despite Natasha's actions, I hadn't a single aversion to her in the dream. I wonder how much I care of her adultery. I wonder how much more or less others would care. To me it felt like an unfortunate show of character, a reason provided to never stay with her, although a reason never once hoped for.