Schmaven's Dream Journal of Randomness

I am looking for movies to put on the DVD player, but can only find dozens of versions of Winnie the Pooh. Some are in packs of 3 discs, some are just 1 disc. Really hard to decide, I go with a 3 pack because I like the feel the cover imagery gives me, and hope it is related to the actual movie. I put the disc in, and start it up.

Before I can even start to watch the movie, I feel a burning in my crotch. I look down and see a gas stove, literally coming out of me. The burner itself is the dial, and there is a small flame about 1cm sort of like a torch, right in my crotch. I turn the gas off, and the flame stops. Basically behind that major groin tendon on the right side. Close to the nether-region.

A little surprised by this, I turn the dial again and hear gas flowing out of the metal bit. I turn it to ignite, hear the clicking of an electric ignition, and the flames start up again. I grab a piece of raw chicken and begin to cook it in the open flame. It is taking a while, and I am trying to be careful not to burn my hairs, or my ding dong, but the chicken is actually cooking none the less. The chicken begins to take on a white, cooked color, so I flip it over to cook the other side.

I start to question whether or not the inside will be fully cooked, and if the gas burner might need to be removed in a few days before I get an infection.