lucid

Date 19/5. Dream start: don't know..may be early morning. Dream end: Sweet wake up at 8:30 morning .

This is my first DJ, but it was so vivid I have to tell someone but I don't have a person close enough to tell them about my dreams .
I'll list out what might have led to the dream.

I'm a 22 years guy with lonely life. Never even talked to a girl at personal level.

I'm not a K-pop fan but I like the singers' looks as I like Asian girls. I think they are cute and fun.

I watch way too many videos.
Yesterday night watched MxR Skyrim mod review Showcasing an Asian skyrim follower mod (only writing about relevant video) I watched a (semi) horror movie called Anna (2013). I thought the actress was very cute.

I masturbated before going to sleep (If that's relevant and accepted here).

So, the dream starts off nowhere(duh). There is this cute girl, who looks like an Asian girl but had a smile and eyes differing from any Asian stereotypes. She was not at all related to any girl I saw ever in any video or real life. My brain had sculpted her and it sculpted it extremely attractive.
So, when dream starts, I am in a big, wide, open, empty, white and shine kind of room. Looks like a drama practice room. The girl, whose name was unknown, walks into a sleek whitish creamy dress. And I am, in first person, is a guy supposed to get a kissing lesson from her (). In the dream mind, there was a back story that I want to take a kissing lesson from the girl for some random girl I don't know about even in dream. I did not visualize her in the dream.
(I know nothing about kissing, I haven't seen any kissing tutorials online, and my brain is teaching me how to kiss. Nice one brain!)
So she enters with a majestic walk, and starts to talk (in english, not my mother-tounge). Starts telling me something about lips should not be wet and sloppy to deliver a great kiss.
So, she asks me to try kissing on her. It was a extremely wet kiss . Even I felt filthy. She showed a face with strong disapproval. I apologized saying I got nervous.
She said, OK. Try again. I dry up my lips and try again. Best kiss ever. She appreciates and says that drying up made a huge difference.

I think that is where lucidity kicked in.

I asked her I needed the kiss for a special occasion. I wanted to propose a girl (that didn't matter). She said Ok. She asked me to widen up foot gap a bit, stand confident and propose to me and then kiss. I stand straight, and say "I want to ask you a question, Will you (my eyes rolling away from her pretty face) Marry me? (suddenly staring at her eyes giving the best love look I ever would've)" Her blue eyes staring at my, started to get tears. She starts crying, saying "I don't know". I wipe away tears from her soft cheeks, assuring her "Honey, why are you crying? When I'm with you there will be nothing to cry about" and I kiss her. Best Kiss ever (better that the previous one). I lift her up and rotate like in a fairy tale. We were gazing each other smiling and just being in deep sea of love . (Now that's cheesy, but it didn't felt that way in dream).
Here the end begins. My lucid self realize I am not capable of lifting her up like that (I'm a thin guy). I drop on her back hitting her head to the floor. Fortunately not blood and gore in this dream. She just laughed in pain and I cracked a joke line saying, "I hope i did not cracked that watermelon!"

Here the dream ends. I wake up remembering the complete dream (I'm writing it down after 18 hrs), I wanted to go back to sleep to spend time with her but there were things to do in the morning so I couldn't.

I think I have found reason's behind every event.

Liking an Asian looking girl is obvious. Dreaming of falling in love of a beautiful girl is the only thing I can do, so that is also explained.
Hitting her accidentally relates to my past. I have hurt someone I love, friends and family, physically which I didn't mean to but could completely avoided if I would've kept my hands in my pockets. I apologize to them right after and crack a joke to try to make them feel better, but I don't feel good at all. I always feel guilty of my deeds however hard I try to apologize to them. Those incidents are like scars that never seem to heal.

Hope you liked it!