non-lucid

I just woke up from having a nap, and I vividly remember some parts of the dream I had. The most confusing for me was that I dreamed a man wanted to rape me... but I ended up being willing and enjoying it and lying to my fiance about it by telling him I was raped. The man was very good looking, not violent or sadistic and was quite well endowed. I'm not sure what all of this means in the least, I just wanted to get it down before the memory dissipated.

For now, my only idea is that maybe it is representing the things I am missing in my life?

Shopping seems to be a recurring theme in my dreams. This time, I was in a large grocery store with my mother. I remember getting lots of sweet bakery things, like cakes and jelly rolls. I also recall getting powdered-sugar coated pita chips and cinnamon-sugar pita chips. (That would be awesome.)
By the time we got finished, my mother decided that she didn't have enough money to cover everything, even though she said she had a lot. She ended up putting most of the items back, only buying a couple things for herself. (She is dishonest and selfish in real life.)
After this whole debacle, there is a blank space where I do not recall anything. At some point, my mother turned into my fiance. He was driving, I was in the passenger seat. I was angry with him for using all of our grocery money, I didn't understand where it went or what he did with it. He ended up confessing to me that he used it to take another woman out to dinner the night before. (An old friend of his that he used to be obsessed with.) Eventually we arrived somewhere, there was a lot of snow and it was cold. There were several people there, but I only specifically recall one in particular. He went over to my fiance's window to start talking to him and then he noticed how upset I was. He asked me what was wrong and I told him to come over to my side of the car. He did, and I got out of the car and threw myself onto him, crying my eyes out. He hugged me back tightly, and just stood there. I also remember him smelling really good, strangely. (The guy is someone that I know in real life. I have a bit of a crush on him, he's a stone-cold hottie!)

That's really all the more I remember from this dream.

I'm sitting in the passenger seat of a car. My fiance is driving, his sister is in the back seat. We're driving down a country road. Suddenly, giant flaming meteors begin smashing into the ground all around us. The sun is huge and pale yellow, its sickly rays casting a dying light over the destruction taking place before my eyes. I'm upset, crying about something. I vaguely recall saying something like, 'No! I don't want it to end like this!'.

The dream went on to have many more parts to it, but the memory is much too fragmented for me to piece together. I do recall some of the key things; the sun, dirt road, fields, nighttime, a swimming pool, an inn, betrayal, a leather jacket and a shopping mall.

Some of these are recurring themes in my dreams, like the sun, betrayal and the shopping mall. I took to DreamMoods dream dictionary to interpret these things.

1. The Dying Sun: Significant disruption or serious problem in waking life. Some sort of pain or chaos.

2. Nighttime: Major setbacks and obstacles. Alternatively, death, rebirth, reflection and new beginnings.

3. Leather: Toughness or ruggedness; animalistic and instinctual nature; sexuality.

4. Jacket: Represents the image presented by self in waking life. May also symbolize a defensive and protective persona.

That's all the more relevant information I was able to glean from self-interpretation alone. Slightly disconcerting.