Snacks From the Butler's Pantry

I was an idiot two nights in a row, so I have to post them here as punishment. Feel free to throw tomatoes at the man in the stocks.

Lucky To Be Alive
I had this brilliant idea to set up my friends Mike and Bella on a date. They would make a crazy hot couple. I remembered this great beach bar near the Kahala on Diamond Head. It would be a perfect romantic spot for these two kids. I made some phone calls and took off to meet them.

I was running late, and speeding dangerously. Driving along the coast, I came around a sharp turn and lost control of my car. I felt the tires lose traction, and I drifted towards the cliff. I was in a complete panic. I had a split second where I saw edge of the cliff drop away below me to the rocky surf. The first thought that went through my mind was, "I'm going to die. This is just like one of my dreams where I lose control of my car, but this time its REAL and I'm going to die! I wish this was a dream, because this is really going to hurt."

I tumbled down the rocky slope. The glass of my windows and windshield shattered against the sharp volcanic rocks. I rolled for what seemed like way too long. I don't have a lot of experiences with driving off cliffs, but I imagine it happens pretty quick. This was just maddening. It got to the point where I was a little bored as I slid and rolled along. By the time I hit the sand, I was just glad to be able to get out of the car. I felt like I had just been on a long boring road trip. I don't have time for these things. Glad to be out of the car, I stretched my legs on the beach, and went to meet Bella at the bar.

Falling Asleep Disturbs my Sleep
I was trying a new WILD technique. I woke up 5 hours into the night with an alarm. I ate a banana, and read some of The Tibetan Yogas of Dream and Sleep for 5 minutes.

I laid back down, trying to enhance the visualizations that my brain was naturally coming up with. I was feeding a scenario of myself in my front yard wrapping duct tape around a concrete bench sculpture. Things were going great. I felt my body get heavy and numb. My consciousness was starting to feel detached from my body. I was staying remarkably lucid while the visualization took shape. I remember thinking, "This should be a great lucid. I'm outside in bright daylight. No sticky body, annoying darkness, or house to be trapped in."

Next thing I know, my mind goes totally blank and I get startled awake by.....the feeling of falling asleep. The shift I normally feel that alerts me that I'm entering a dream was too disturbing. Falling asleep woke me up? No F.A, no entering the dream. Just me totally awake feeling like an idiot.

It felt a lot like when you nod off during a boring lecture or meeting. As soon as you feel yourself fall asleep, you jolt yourself back to reality, 100% awake.