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I began a new method in hopes of having more vivid and memorable dreams. So far, I can remember one of the dreams I had pretty well since starting this a couple days ago. I usually have been able to get up around 9 or 10 during the week, seeing as how I don't really have any early morning classes this quarter. But I realized I would probably be able to better remember my dreams if I woke myself up around 6 or 7 in the morning, when I would still be in a fairly deep sleep. So the first night i tried this, I remembered a dream I had in which I was thrown in jail for robbing a convenience store. I can't remember much else from this, apart from the fact that I nearly went mad in just the first few minutes of being behind bars (I wonder if this could be any indication of how I would be able to handle, or not handle, prison in real life). I hope to have somewhat more powerful and exciting dreams while putting this new method into use. Last night, in addition to setting my alarm for 7am, I also consumed a substantial amount of apple juice before drifting off to sleep. I used to do this on occasion in high school, and it would make for some pretty vivid dreams. However, it did not really seem to work this time. Well, I suppose it might have, and I may have just not remembered; also, I may have not woken myself up early enough. I think the particular brand of apple juice I used may not have been as effective as the ones I used in high school. Anyway, today I'll try to get my hands on some of the good stuff (Ha! Can you imagine someone referring to apple juice like this?), and I'll also set my alarm a little earlier (maybe 5:30am or so). In addition, I bought the new Radiohead album last night, and boy, I imagine listening to it before bed could make for some pretty interesting dreams. I'll add that to my method this evening too.

+I find out I died when I was an infant and came back to life a few hours later. I told my sister and asked my mom about it. D and I were skiing and snowboarding on very icy snow. I couldn’t wait to be done because it wasn’t good conditions. Erica met me at the bottom. She accidentally dropped and broke a wooden box of mine. I didn’t care, one less thing to have to pack back home. She ended up dying and I was upset. I kept trying to sneak into some compound and so was another girl. There are nerds keeping lookout and they spot me so I lock myself in the bathroom. There are towel rods along the walls and a window at the very top of the room so I climb up. I bide my time up there because there are housekeepers outside of the window. I wait for them to leave but the towel rod I’m holding myself up on is starting to come out of the wall. Eventually I just jump through the window and they spot me. I find out Brooks is dying and I sob about it and hug her. I’m told I have ovarian or uterine cancer and that also makes me emotional. So much death.

+D is in the military and I’m with him. We’re in a tank and I try to convince to break the rules with me and do something fun. He refuses. His comrade is staring at me and eavesdropping. I pretend not to notice. There’s a little girl I really like and we give her fireworks, which she loves. She also has a parade of large cats. I’m watching a video about a woman having to wait in line to vote and she starts belly dancing to the rhythm of the politician’s lies. She's very good. The politicians try to convince us they don’t make that much money. I riot breaks out against Hilary Clinton becoming president. It’s really large. But the police come in and break it up, driving through with giant tanks that are so tall I can’t see past the wheels. Everybody is really upset. I’m in my gma’s living room trying to tell my family about it. I get really emotional and can’t open my eyes because I’m crying. I tell everyone who will listen that we are not a free country at all. We’re being controlled and sedated through the mass media and militant power of the state. It really upsets me because I’m able to see clearly in my mind how our country could be better: a place where everyone is working together on the same level. How can we say that we live in a free country if we can’t even stand in the street to advocate for change that the collective society desires? Someone posts how angry they are about it on Facebook. Trish gives me a sequined purse pinata. It has essential oils and it’s made to be hit to let out anger. In the middle of the night I escape under a bridge to do gardening. All the soil in my succulent pot disappeared and the leaves on my peace lily are very brown. I’m confused because they weren’t this way yesterday. D catches me having snuck out and tells me to be careful outside at night. I go to get food and have to walk behind this big guy who is attracted to me. He lets me go ahead of him and gives me a shirt to change into, which I do. I order tacos and they ask if I want cayenne pepper on it. I say yes and he recommends a certain kind of sauce, so I tell them to do half sauce and half cayenne. The worker takes a bite of the saucy taco and loves it.

First dream

It was a late morning. I was in a cottage deep within a forest. I was wearing my forestry uniform and felt a few years older. There was a man in late thirties, wearing a gray suit. He had dark hair. We were talking, I had different voice.

Man: You were working in these forests?
I: Yes, I was a forester over there.

*I wandered the room for a while, the man continued.*

Man: A forester?
I: Yeah, though of a lower rank.

False awakening

I woke up in my bed. I heard strange ringing and was really annoyed at the TV. I thought that I really should turn it down, but it wasn't even turned on! As I closed my eyes, I saw some horrifying ghostly faces and a voice telling that ghosts are real and want to get us all.

Second dream

Late, cold evening. With group of random people we entered a mansion of some general who left it free for his son this night. One of the rooms was under renovation, with furniture put in group in the midlle of it. Rest of the house was arranged as a wealthy, modern mansion with really expensive furniture. Other people - they were all teenagers, were taking drugs and demolishing everything around them. What's more, they closed the doors to second floor and lost the key, so I had to find some other way out. They were really ruining the building, setting fire in one of the rooms, breaking furniture and taking more and more drugs. Luckily they weren't aggressive. I tried to use furniture to break a window and make myself a rope to get out.

Suddenly I found myself outside, it was a warm early evening. It was at a shore of some lake, close to some warehouse with docks. I entered it and saw two girls - one taller with dark, long hair and one smaller with red, shorter hair. Both had pale complexion and were wearing some kind of robes. I heard a crying baby, then parents of those girls appeared. The tall girl told them that she and another boy was kidnapped by the smaller girl. But then a sudden thunder striked, and nobody believed her. Suddenly an assassin jumped down on a bungee and caught her, jumping with her back to a rooftop.

Dreamed of a deep cavern and there was a monster there. Later found that people on an expedition found it too. Many people died as a result and deep in the cave the leader who was in his 60s and had a beard then walled up the place where the monster was, yet later as I was hearing his thoughts was thinking to put even more walls up because the monster could get out in other ways.

Dreamed of a collection of video games and DVDs that wasn't organized, some of them included Gamecube games I once had. Briefly thought of Mike Matei. Saw a DVD which was "30 Ways Indiana Jones Could Improve" or something similar, then saw video of him and kids on a wooden raft in a lava river - which sunk of course and they all died.

Dreamed that Grandfather's 1941 Dodge truck was outside and I was putting it back together to some degree and I saw results from when it was attacked by some monster that waved at a group of people then attacked. At least one man survived by hiding inside either the back of the cab (which is funny because the cab doesn't have a back seat IRL) or by hiding inside a cabin that was installed on the back bed, but which wasn't there in-dream.

Dreamed a man I'm acquainted with, Bob who has a junkyard, was cleaning up the place albeit by burning the tires. Then, it was a place where people could buy stuff and it looked like a department store with things from 20-30 years ago and someone said to "Snails", a character from MLP:FIM, "...find a cereal box from 20 years ago your Mom wrote your name on." and I saw a thought of him hugging that box (he didn't find it outside the thought.) I picked up a bottle that was supposed to be some sort of bear repellent (why did I say "bear" in here, I don't recall that?) it was a blue bottle and it was good against things which they had three images of including something on the lawn and porn too, though they had no graphic image for porn on the label. Instructions were to "just put the logo on your lawn" and it would be 10x better than... Something.

I am with my dream guide, my actual dream guide in his actual form. The room is dark and he is giving a talk to about 30 people. I am about 4 steps away from him sitting on the floor. He is looking for feedback when I immediately express my gratitude to him for what he has shown me. There is such a close intimate connection where I feel he is right beside me listening within me. I express that although I have picked up a bit that he has so patience to deal with how far removed I am from the truth. I feel his love and him saying that it is what he wants to do. I am requesting to be freed of some more of my troubles.

I have this small pack of smarties. They are very sweet ones and small and are in a hard plastic container a bit like Tic Tacs but bigger. These smarties were present in my previous dream and have some significance. My dream guide had changed his form into another kind of dream guide who focuses more on clearing negative actions. I offered some of the smarties to him and he accepts them but I know he does not really like them but he says he will eat them for me and tell me what they communicate to him.

I am on a walk in the countryside. It is very open with not much scenery. I am walking quickly with a big stick that almost looks like a crutch. I look like I am on a mission and yes actually I want to sit down to eat my food and email my friend. I see two guys ahead. One guy looks Asian if not Tibetan. They are laughing at how restless I am and how quickly I am walking. I joke to them saying I am rushing so I can sit down and see a picture of my love. Then the Tibetan young man (tall, slim, sallow skin, short black hair) says in this incredibly clear communication that: "Sex does not have a purpose. It is not real. There is nothing to be gained from it. It is like a dream. It is not really there" Then he hands me a note explaining more. There were four lines but I only read the first one before I woke up but I did see the other 3 but am not 100% sure of their content:
1. The only reason we are in this world is to have sex (the urge to procreate)
2. Sex is not real it has no purpose.
3. ....
4. ....

From writing a story where I dragged in a loose connection to lucid dreaming (about which I then knew zilch) to spending, considering my age, a lot of energy learning about (and self- conditioning for) lucid dreams, I finally achieved my first one in September 2013.

Looking through the childlike scrawl of my journals it's clear that my dreams in the first 2 years were longer, more substantial, and far more vivid (and I was often close to more potential LD's than the dozen or so I've actually achieved.) I can see from my entries that I monitored my eating habits, the moon cycles, approximate times, and any other data I thought might be useful.

Nowadays, dream recall is thin, the dreams are weird and lacking punch and Ld's are even rarer than in the early times. So, have I got too old to dream? (if you'll pardon the musical pun) Personally, I don't think so.

My brain is generally good. I have problems recalling names on quizzes (but I've always been like that to a certain degree) But I'm still red hot on general knowledge (except sport, don't ask me about sport) I definitely eat the right things, plenty of fruit, chick peas, shellfish, loads of the right veg, etc etc. Supplements like melatonin, choline, B6 have never worked for me. I've taken choline before retiring, then topped-up with a melatonin tab before WBTB and slept for 8 hours plus and still not even got close to an LD.

I think I could get back to the old days if I worked as hard at it as I did before but I don't want that. I've done it, bought the t shirt, dreamed the dream, wakened in the dream, fell out of the dream, failed to get back into the dream and now I have other priorities. I've branched out into so many side issues and interests, McKenna, Adyashanti, Sam Harris, DMT, psilocybes, meditation, awareness, the brain (and I know that's going to be the tip of the iceberg in years to come.)

I will never abandon all attempts at LD. I'm always looking for shortcuts. I instinctively know that they exist. There's probably a magic combination of set, setting, and helpers. Maybe it's VR. Maybe it's VR plus helpers (I've always felt that intensive game-playing has somehow altered my perception)

Further confirmation last night that you can dream about LD issues without necessarily LDing. I had a dream where I was packing away a bedroll on a campsite and the bedroll disappeared. I explained to my wife that things disappearing was one of my strongest dream signs.

So, on the LD front things can only get better. If they do I'll likely tell you about it here. There may be quite a gap...there may not. If there's a very long gap it may well be that I've died, although you'll never know if I have...unless I find a way...

Bedtime: nice and early, approximately 11pm for finally settling down to sleep
tons and tons of wakings throughout the night. 6-10 it felt like, each time with very

VPAL: vivid, present, alternate-life dreams.

First waking: just impressions, no recall. No recording during the night, maintaining a mental list as I go on each waking, reviewing the list.

early wakings:
+(f) twilight, observing (seeing through walls, or glass walls) into 3 side-by-side 2nd floor apartments, I'm going to rob them?
+(f) fighting (tank?) force, outside
+ (impression, not sure) in CH, flying, animals?

later:
+ (super VPAL) in the home of friends [FALSE]
Setting the table, where are the knives? Get them from the pantry, their style does not match the style of those already on the table

Lighting the fire in the living room: "devil matches", leading the initial flames towards the fuel by stringing along paper, etc. towards the wood.

"Play" wrestling with the huge/strong man of the house in the kitchen, he's tossing me around easily, I say "watch out, I have hernia! [referring to back]", then I start
fighting back and manage to get a hold on him, I think using Jiu Jitsu [FALSE].

Walking in the living room, observe the fire box (sealed metal large lockbox on a pedestal in a bowl, perforated sides can see through to see the fire inside). I see my dad chilling in the corner in a recliner talking with someone

In a room away from living room, some ugly lesbians come and I'm looking between groups of girls showing some boobs, but it's not attractive they're misfigured

Back in the living room sitting on the couch someone whom I think at first is a small girl but turns out later to be a midget college girl

+ walking through enchanted forest, glowing colors visible the (wolf guy?) will answer all

+ live tribes game: no weapons work, each one does not fire: chaingun, etc. I'm struggling with opponent to occupy the inventory station location, he manages to get a hold there and put a turret. I hurry in to the station I know he's close behind me, hurry hurry hurry! I'm frantically trying to switch to heavy armor so that I can withstand his attacks, I get an impression that the boomstick in light armor is a weapon that will work.

+ riding the glass-walled elevators: it used to be much more convenient when you could call out the name of the person you want to see and the elevator would go there. We ride to a (picnic?) place with food, people

late:
+ eggs raining down on me from TZ, one lands right in front of my left eye, I'm in a car, I fly up to them

+ fight: me and son [FALSE] as a team against another team, we must touch a key to two pads on a platform against opponents, I toss my son up to the platform with the key he touches the pads, we return and throw the key to the referee. Then fight opponents: applying bone-breaking force to legs, ankles, I'm teaching son to do this, I find the correct angle of force against his leg and the opponent yields. Then my son tries with the toe of an opponent, he bends the little toe a full 90 degrees it looks gross, he stops because he does not want to continue.

Looking for something (keys?) in a shelf full of equipment, keys, and tools, these are my sons's things.

I remember speaking to Hannah's friend on text about lucid dreaming, she wanted to know how to do, I told her to practice over and over again. She said she already knew that, she sent me a bunch of messages with the prices of lucid dreaming masks.

I was on the road with 2 other people, it seemed like a weird course, at first there was a man that was invisibile that would run away when I tired to catch, eventually I got him because when he went invisible I could see his outline. He wasn't human though, more like a gnome. Carrying on with the course, I was trying to find someone called Caroline from the vampire diaries, I came up to a shop, a seen her walk past it as if she though I didn't notice her.

I was invited to a party by Hannah , I didn't really want to go but she made me come anyway, lots of people where there and I didn't feel interested one bit.

I was also at the bank, I knew I had money in my bank but when I looked at mt statement it said I didn't have any money in it.

Slept in a different place than usual as I was saying. This is a very good place for dreaming and lucidity. My mind did not shift into dreams at all. When I was asleep it just held the same place as I was when I awake. I was very still. I was nervous about relaxing and going of into dream cause it was a new place and I also had a killer headache all night which helped me focus my attention on the present. There were a couple of times when I knew I was asleep but was still I in the same place that I fell asleep in FA and so could have gone off into dream and explored whatever. However I was very happy just to be there and on retrospect this was very helpful. I am always saying how dreaming is not dreaming it is lucidity and here I really experienced that and I am working towards a dream goal of meditating when becoming lucid because I know all the adventures to be pointless, from a dream yoga point of view, and just reinforce bad worldly habits. The next time I am going to trust the lucidity more and do some meditation methods. Looking forward to snuggling up in my new spot again soon. And the stary sky that you and patience were talking about. TOTALLY know what you mean it is like the roof comes of my head and there is so much space and the place where I am sleeping becomes totally safe. Happy Days

8/5/16
Fragment: Sitting around with a bunch of people.

Fragment: Wizard101 stuff, kicking my brother off.

Didn't get much sleep because I was making a picture collage for my mother because of Mothers Day & for my daughters & sister & such. I couldn't hold on to my dream this morning but it wasn't lucid. Tonight should be better though. Also my daughter did lose her baby so that was even more distracting through the night.

I dreamed my fiancé and I moved to the country to start quail farming. Then a friend of his (T) showed up and started accidentally stepping on all of the eggs. The eggs were in kind of a ditch area with a lot of hay-like underbrush, and he destroyed almost all of them and kept going "Oops, sorry".

Then it started to storm, and I wanted to run back to the farmhouse, but there was a lot of lightning and my friends warned me not to do it because I'd get struck by lightning. Instead, they decided we should take cover in a forest that was near the quail ditch. The forest was extremely dense, and almost no rain reached us at all... then it formed into like, a 2-story kind of house-like structure, but was still a forest, and there was a loft area full of kumquats and some other small oblong orangish fruit, which the friend invited me to eat. There were also little lights that I thought were maybe fungi, but they also seemed like glowing eggs.

Then I dreamed I worked retail at a Winco and decided to go hide in the bathroom, telling a coworker I'd be "at the clock". Except I didn't come out for a long time, so they came looking for me, and I got in some trouble. There was also another person in the bathroom, kind of a fat guy, who refused to enter his own stall until I had entered mine. I think I was a guy in that dream.

I have made a few calls since dreaming so it's a bit fuzzy but let me go over this all. There was a group of girls that my friends and I bumped into. One was insanely beautiful, one was medium, and one was uggs. The one girl was my perfect type; dark hair, big eyes, innocent and kind face, cute personaity. But my friend (possibly luka) snagged her and I was left to court the medium chick. She liked me, but all I could think of was the girl with the dark hair. She consimed my thoughts. eventually we all did LSD, and I confessed my love. We then had to build the Steam machine from scratch and people kept coming to steal the parts so we moved the operation to a balcony. Then I awoke.

Dream Signs:
Girls
Love
Theft
Steam Machine
Jealousy
Social Awkwardness

+ old friends #1
In a group talking, I notice one of the guys there is CL [college friend WFP], and I say, "C!". He doesn't answer or acknowledge me. He looks quite old, but his face is somewhat recognizable. He is mostly bald with a sparse ring of hair running around his head. I try to get his attention but he is not responding to me, I realize this is because of the rift I had with his (now) wife before they were married. I start telling this story. I have some trouble with remembering events. After I left city-S, I returned to B in order to....go to graduate school [FALSE, finished it in S]. This goes on for a while

+ old friends #2
(in CH living room), I turn around and see MR [boy scout PL], he also looks old and not quite how I remember him but I know it is him. I also see his young son with him. I call out "M!" and go to him and give him a single strong pound on the back (makes a thumping sound) with a big hug. I'm talking about some things, and towards the end I hear my sister say "I heard you say that there are no prostitutes or whores in Amsterdam"

+ Job interview #1
I'm at SGI interviewing for a job. The people (young guys and girls) are quite pleasant, this would be a good place to work.

+ Job interview #2
I've been brought to a competitor's company for an interview. I feel a bit funny about being here. I see the guy who I used to work with, he's the one who invited me here, he's sitting at a computer working. If I came to work here I could earn a lot of money, they're going to be very successful (lots of talk about their product), but I realize I'd have to work really hard here. While I'm looking around I see one guy's large computer screen and I'm fascinated with what I see there. I can't quite figure out what is going on on this guy's screen and I keep watching. Images and text move across the screen quickly in different directions. I eventually decide that it is some sort of animated map application. Later on there is a 3-D construction made of computer PCBs with little tickets of some sort that fall off and I'm trying to pick up the tickets, I can take them with me but I won't be taking the construction.

+ Job interview #3
I'm interviewing for a job at Google. I have a female interviewer contact. There are other interview candidates and it is sort of a contest. We have to figure out a lot of things about Google products, all of which seem to be food items on refrigerator shelves. One guy is upset (he's Muslim?) at having to find out about non-Halal food items. I'm getting quite chummy with my interview contact girl. I'm sitting at a table with a row of computers and she is sitting on my left. I think she wants me to come on to her. I get bold and start rubbing her back. She blushes furiously and slouches down in her chair so I can't reach her back any more. I decide that this means that she does not like the contact. I notice her dress (red and white? Floral?) and her bare legs in this slouched position. OK, since she doesn't want my advances, I turn my attention to the job interview. I get a bit nervous that I've blown the interview by making a pass at her, and that this will ruin all my chances forever for a Google job since she'll tell everybody about what I did. I get up and say, "OK, tell me what I need to know and learn about these products." But there is now a guy next to the girl [RW the g v player sister friend] and he is looking at me severely, they've traded places so he is sitting next to me and the girl is standing at the end of the table so I can't reach her now. He (she?) says "you had your chance to go around earlier and talk to people, but instead you were focusing on Gina's (the girl) wardrobe."

Dreamed I had long hair going to my shoulders.