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I’m about to leave from work for home. Mom calls me to say it’s going to take an extra hour. She doesn’t specify, but I become exasperated, knowing it’s traffic. I just want to be home. I head out now, on a bike, and it looks like I’m downtown. I think I see some patches of snow, but there really isn’t any traffic. On the ride, I discover that the bike’s seat is too high for me, causing some awkwardness. I arrive home now, which is a large, empty feeling house. Mom and Makayla are here. Mom has bought me a bunch of NA beer, a kind I’ve never seen before. I try one and it’s not great.



I’m in the kitchen of some house (it feels similar to Mom’s). Looking through the window above the sink, the view is of a partially sunlit hill. It is tall and steep, slightly rocky, yet lushly green. The illuminated portions (it seems like a sun that’s close to setting) are vibrant and awe-inspiring. Maggie and Stella are out in the yard (which just seems like open space) and I think about calling them in.

I am at work while the Vegas-Florida Stanley Cup game is on. It feels like midday to early afternoon. Zoe is here, but she leaves to go do something. I go into the office and write the current score on the board, 3-2 Vegas. I use orange for Vegas and can’t think of Florida’s colors. I think it’s subtle but that someone who knows what’s going on would understand it. I notice that there are a couple of folding chairs (the ones we have that my mom gave us) throughout the store, some open and some not. I think people might be watching the game here? Now, I’m ringing up some girl who awkwardly offers to buy the table out front and the chairs for $15. She says it with a lisp as she holds the money folded up in front of her. I don’t know how much the table is going for, so I call Zoe. she answers and starts speaking so quickly that it sounds like it went straight to voicemail. She asks if I’m Bruce, sounding paranoid, then asks if it’s me. She says the table can go for $100 and the chairs for $15 each. I tell the girl this. Stella is here, on the counter, and ever so gently steps down, towards the girl who holds her hand out to her.

I’m with Makayla? and Melissa, going to get a haircut. I think we’re scheduled one after the other. I think Melissa has just gone; I see her sitting in the chair in front of the mirror with shoulder length hair that looks lighter in color and volume. She is smiling a genuine smile. It is my turn now, but I’m not going to. I’m growing my hair out, so I don’t know why I’d erase all the progress I’ve made so far. I think they might trim my beard, but I know I can do that myself. There’s a sense of disappointment, like the haircut was mandatory, but I stick to my guns. I briefly see my hair in a mirror and feel it (it’s about the length it really is now).

Kevin is going to come over for the first time in a long while. I think I’m with Melissa, in our house (this house feels similar in ways but also like it’s in a different town, a small one a good ways out of Reno). I think he must’ve said he’s coming at 7 because I look at my phone and think that he’s late when I see 7:10. I know it’s not all that late, and then he shows up. Stella and Maggie bark when he comes in but then get over it very quickly and impressively for someone they’ve never met. We are outside (the yard feels large and open, I think without a fence, and we’re on some gravel right now). Kevin stands and talks at length about something. He’s wearing a hat and sunglasses - I think that the glasses are unnecessary in the twilight. I get a glimpse of red eyes and large pupils, confirming my suspicion of him being high on something. Now I’m walking through the neighborhood (it reminds me of Opa’s) to another house. This house stands out with its modern décor of white with black accents. There’s a wrap-around porch in the front and some openings where you can see into its kitchen. We do go inside and grab a rug and some ‘designer’ firewood that matches the theme - we’re allowed by someone to do this. The logs have artificial black edges. Back at our house, we switch out the rug. This new one is a brighter tan and I don’t like it nearly as much, though I think Melissa does. Kevin is gone at this point, but Dad is here, and he’s made me a Ziploc of seasoned steaks to send with him.

I’m rolling a cart of Fiction out into the store. The store seems fairly crowded. I put the cart in my usual spot and get ready to start shelving when a younger middle aged, paunchy man in a slightly grimy gray t-shirt starts grabbing off the cart. I notice two of the authors are Brad Thor and Jack Higgins. The Brad Thor mass market that he grabs is pretty beat up but still has a new $6.99 sticker on it. I mention that that’s definitely not new. I grab another copy of the same book and it falls apart at a crease in the spine. The man only speaks to me a few times, and they’re all gruff, things like “Yeah. I want that.”


(fragment) I’m somewhere with Melissa, and we have a very full recycling bin. There are a couple of low, folding beach chairs on top, I don’t know why. (*This one makes me remember that we didn’t put the bins out last night).

I am rock climbing with Danielle. I think we’ve just summited and now we have to get down. We stand on the edge, a little area of soil and some small plant growth among the stone, and Danielle seems afraid. I think that we didn’t take into account the descent (which, thinking of it, involved downclimbing that I don’t feel prepared for).



I am in some room with Melissa. I think it’s called an ‘exploration room’ or something similar. I think we pay to be in here for an hour or so. It seems similar to a massage room - dim lighting and an air of relaxation, except there are two full sized beds. There’s a man and two unfamiliar women our age here. We’re going to have sexual contact of some sort with them. Looking at the girls, I don’t feel any sexual attraction, but there is an air of relaxed acceptance. The man (who I now think is Teddy from work, though it doesn’t exactly look like him) reclines on the bed and Melissa and the other two girls crawl up to him. They pull down his jeans and begin going down on him. I’m off to the side a bit but reach my hand in and cup his warm scrotum. His penis is very stiff but skinny and only about four inches or so. After just a short amount of time, he comes. It gets all over, including on one of the girl’s face. Now, I’m under the impression that it’ll be my turn. I recline eagerly onto the other bed, but no one comes over to me. Maggie is here and there is something about her interacting with a cat at the sliding door that I guess disrupts the mood.

I am walking through a ‘neighborhood’. I think I begin to realize that it’s not really a neighborhood, as there are many styles of houses without any separation. It feels endless; with every corner turned there are just more streets, more corners, more houses. Some of these houses seem pretty large. I get a glimpse in one with all white walls that looks to have an open space two stories high. A lot of the architecture here is atypical - mostly the proportions just look funky.



I’m in some building, what feels like a second story bedroom in an antique house. There are a couple others here around my age (they seem familiar in the dream, but I don’t think it’s anyone I know). I’m showing them how to play a game that consists of throwing red dots? onto a bird tilted slightly back. I think the next person has to throw theirs on the same spot. They’re not paying attention that well.

I am in a house with Zoe. A man approaches the door, and Zoe takes it as a threat. More serious than I’ve ever seen her, she draws a handgun and approaches the door, pistol held down with straight arms. I think there is a brief interaction, and then I see that he has some kind of rifle. They don’t reach an amicable decision and instead begin firing at each other. Each shoots many rounds; the exchange seems it should be way more deadly given the separation of only a few feet and a screen door. I see Stella outside the door and go get involved. The gunshots are very quiet and I can just about see the bullets move through the air. Some even hit Stella, and she seems unaffected. The man is now on the ground, face up, and now I shoot him. I shoot him multiple times in the face. Each shot causes a small gore, yet he continues slowly talking, taunting. I become exasperated and finally after a few more bullets, he quiets.

I’m at an airport, trying to find a certain terminal. I think I’m trying to get to Melissa and/or she’s somewhere else here at the airport. It feels like the airport at home, but slightly different. It has the long and low layout. I’m in one building now and have to get to the other across the way and they look separated with tarmac and/or railroad track. I get to the end of this building and don’t understand how I’m supposed to get over there. There is a shuttle running, but it seems to be going in the wrong direction. Everyone else here seems calm and like they know what they’re doing.

I’m walking through a neighborhood that looks slightly similar to Dad’s (and maybe vaguely familiar to another dream). I’m walking behind the houses on what is either a pathway or just some open space. This row of houses is on a slope, what feels like 30-45°, with the slope diagonal with the line of houses, not front to back. At times I traverse over a fence or whatever else is in my way. I end up looking at the fences, some wood and some chain link, most in need of repair. In fact, the owner of the one I’m looking at, a younger woman, comes out to talk to me. It’s not confrontational at all; she starts showing me pegs in a line of manufactured holes ¾ of the way up the wooden fence. She shows me how arranging 1-2 of the pegs in a hole causes dirt from behind to come out. Now, a younger and darker skinned man appears on the trail. I feel like he is a fence salesman and I hope he doesn’t come over here. The lady and I are now outside the open garage of her house. There are some things on the ground, but it’s tidy overall. I think my house is two to the right. We continue talking and I glance down, noticing that she is wearing only panties and a shirt. I walk over a few houses now and Makayla is outside this one. Right away she shoves a piece of something she’s holding into my mouth - a strawberry and vanilla flavored cookie with corresponding ice cream.

1. Snowy Streets (LD)
I'm aware, and I can't tell if I'm waking. Images begin appearing in front of me and I recognize that it's a couple of bowls. I realize a dream is forming and I have a chance to enter the scene. I begin moving my dream body forward and find myself in a dimly lit, large room. The visuals aren't very pronounced, and I'm feeling a bit tired in the dream interestingly. I want to ramp up the clarity so I begin shouting "Clarity now!" intensely a couple of times. I feel the dream may destabilize, but I maintain my awareness and stay lucid. The verbals help somewhat. I take in the scene of the large room which resembles the main room in Serrano. I leave the main room, and a flash of darkness comes followed by me appearing on the balcony area in the main house in The Meadow. I think back to how this is just like many lucids before, and I get excited to glide off the balcony and through the 2nd story window. I glide through and take in the wintery scene of snow covering the entire street. I glid down into the area and decide that I should start working on some dream goals and don't' want to get distracted. The tired feeling persists. I move to the right and consider Djinn transformation. I imagine it, yet full transformation doesn't occur (1). I head a bit farther to the right and see a dim green light emanating from one of the corners of a building. I think this would be a cool place to explore and head in the area. The dream begins to become a bit foggy and I hold my awareness. I suddenly teleport to another area in which I'm standing in the middle of a road within a development with large three story houses. I think back to The Village, and wonder if I can find some familiar DCs in the house up ahead. I think about my dream guide briefly but don't pursue the goal. I make my way into the main entrance and suddenly think of invisibility. I will myself to become invisible and float past the DCs - a young boy, a middle-aged woman, and an elderly woman - undetected. I decide to search the cabinets high on the far wall for something to eat (2). I search the first, then move progressively to the right, finding various bags which are half full and seem to contain items like goldfish and cereal. In a high cabinet to the far right I find a bag of what appears to be Cocoa Pebbles and I take it. The DCs don't react and seem oblivious to the fact that I'm in the home. I continue to glide toward the back area of the house. I ascend a small set of stairs and catch a view through the back windows. I see a deep, yet somewhat narrow chasm behind the house and a massive structure made of dark brown brick with dark glass window beyond. I find this to be an interesting area to explore, and drift through the window in the direction of the structure. I float down toward the ground level, then I wake up.

2. Mirror Study (LD)
I find myself in a bathroom and my awareness gradually raises. I think back to my previous non-lucid and feel that I should have gotten lucid from the game icons not making sense. Oh, this must be a dream. This is probably a bad idea that I'm peeing! I stop peeing, and make my way to the mirror and I'm lucid. I decide to study what my reflection looks like in the mirror. I look intently, and am surprised at how accurate it is reflected in the dream. I look down for a moment and back up. The image remains somewhat similar, however the area above one of my eyes appears a bit swollen. I make a mental note of appearance of dream reflections. I leave the bathroom and enter into the main room which appears to be the main room in Serrano. The scene is very dark and hazy and I see a large cabinet against the far wall. I begin shouting "Clarity now!" to ramp up vividness. I want it to be more solid, yet it feels a bit unstable. I feel as though I'm starting to wake up, and come awake.

3. Monastery Stairs (LD)
I find myself outside of a Buddhist monastery I've done retreat at. I head forward and I start walking up the wooden stairs and realize I'm dreaming. I wonder if the dream characters from a previous scene on the hillside by the monastery will join me. I enter the main room which is situated in the location of the dining hall. The area is divided down the middle by a wall which extends partway down the room. I think about looking for some interesting items as I enter. There are several other DCs to the right, yet I don't go invisible. I wonder if the DCs from the previous scene are coming, and walk back outside for a moment. They aren't coming, so I make my way back inside. I walk a bit farther into the room and notice many cabinets. It appears to be a place where they store supplies for cooking the meals. I search a cabinet, then think that a chocolate bar would be great. I simply imagine it to be in the cabinet above, and find two thin bars, which appear to be Ghiradelli, right next to some Seran wrap. I take two and begin walking to my right. I take a bite of one and it tastes good! I wake up.

4. In A Room (Lucid Dreamlet)
*Prior to Monastery Stairs LD. I find myself aware that a room is appearing in front of me and that I have a chance to phase into it. I begin moving my dream body forward a bit. I slip into a non-lucid. In the non-lucid, I'm attempting to recall the period of lucidity.

Notes:
(1) My focus wasn't intense enough
(2) I was in the middle of a somewhat long fast in waking life and was getting hungry!

I got derailed from my normal routine (such as it was) recently, and hope to now get back to journalling. Some things from past weeks:

- Driving on that road to the south that I dream that I'm driving on now and then

- Pond, property behind my grandparents' old house (I think)

- Tea (Christmas?)

Hmm, hopefully I remember more soon.

Legend

Colors: Lucid, Semi-lucid, Non-lucid
[comment from waking] in angle brackets
(comment / clarification from dreaming) in parentheses
Abbreviations: DS = dream sign, CH = childhood home, S1/S2 = sons, S/O = someone, S/A = something about, [f] = fragment, b/r = bathroom trip, Wn = waking #n, BT = bedtime, OOB = final out of bed time in morning, DO = Disembodied Observer

Summary of the Night

• BT: ~00:00 , OOB: ~07:30, fitbit score: 82 (6:41 asleep, 1:01 awake, 1:18 deep, 1:22 REM, 90%); supps: GABA, Glycine, Tryptophan, Mag-T, L-Thea, Apegn
• Very active during the day. 3 long walks, 2nd one VERY long. Lots of time in the sunlight. Lots of movement.
• Wakings:
  
  1. 02:21 b/r, no recall
  2. 07:27, recall (weak) <<< --- FIVE HOURS CONTINUOUS SLEEP!!! YYYYEEEESSSS!!!!

---

W2: Obstacle course [f]
Climbing over a tall wall. Bananas? Big group of people. Plot-focused activities. Vague, forgotten

I get out of bed and walk to the bathroom area in Syrano.
Man… no lucid tonight…and I finally slept well. Let me ramp up self-awareness…I should nose-plug too since I just got up…
I’m dreaming! I feel a burst of excitement and make my way back into the room. Everything is very dark, and I get a faint glimpse of blinds. I head toward them in the haze, yet as I try to phase through them, it’s as if they simply move a bit further and I’m unable to move my dream body quickly. I want the dream to become clearer, so I demand it by shouting “Clarity Now!” a couple times. The dreams becomes a bit clearer and I phase through the glass area easily. I end up in what appears to be the first floor of a large house, in a room with an open concept with many plants all around There are many light cream colored couches throughout the central area, and the room extends to what appears to be a dining area to the right. I make my way farther into the room and enter the next section. The dream feels quite stable and is quite vivid at this point. I begin considering what to do and want to explore a bit more. I make my way into another area of the house farther ahead. The area is essentially an extension of the house, filled with many pieces of furniture and area to sit. At the edge of the room appears to be a small kitchen area with an area to cook, resembling a fire pit, in the middle. I see wooden cabinets up above the counter tops, and consider going for some chocolate bars. I decide this is a distraction, and turn around realizing I should pursue some dream goals. I head to the right and think of element manipulation. I try fire, wind, then ice, yet visuals don’t quite appear. I head a bit further into the dreamscape, which feels like a scaled down metropolis in the night. I approach the edge of a ledge, and see a bird take flight up and to my right, over the massive gap toward the concrete ledge on the far side. I consider shapeshifting into a bird expect myself to shapeshift. I feel myself shrink a bit and rise up into the air. I look to the ground to my far left and see a shadow which still appears to be humanoid, however. I think it looks silly, so I decide to transform into Djinn form. I instantly see my shadow transform into a massive form with enormous arms and shoulders, long thin beard traveling down to mid-chest. The lower portion of my body transitions into what appears to be wisps of smoke, as if a genie coming out of a lamp. I feel a surge of power run through me. I float a bit farther into the scene in this form and consider channeling lightning. The first time doesn’t yield visualize, and the second is simply very faint wisps. I move forward more and simply transition back to humanoid form by ignoring Djinn form. I make my way forward and to the left, thinking about telekinesis. I see a pile of sticks on the ground and I’m able to move it easily. I then do another pile even higher with ease. I'm happy with how awesome it feels. I then see several large bikes of different colors and try to move them with telekinesis. I’m unable to at first, but remind myself verbally, “E, everything in this dream is just your mind… everything here is your mind…you can do whatever you want”. I’m then able to move the bikes easily into the air. I walk a bit further into the community and see large houses, roughly four stories tall. I stick my hand out for telekinesis and move one of the four story structures easily into the air. I continue walking, rotating the massive structure quickly and with ease, pulling it slightly to the right through the dream sky. I simply let it go and transition to another area of the small metropolis. I enter an outdoor hangout spot which appears to be a conglomeration of house furniture and cabinets. Several young DCs are hanging out and I begin to search for some chocolate bars. I search a few cabinets, yet only find household items like aluminum foil. I find this strange as I expected that expectations alone would yield chocolate bars. I ask one of the girls for a chocolate bar, and she informs me that there are two bars next to a coffee machine. I look in the area and find two bars which resembles the brown packaged bars from the Hu company. I take a bar and begin walking. I turn to a couple nearby DCs and start talking about how my body is sleeping, and what it’s like to be in the waking world. I explain that there are many things that need to be taken care of in the waking world, and this place is more relaxed. I ask about how their experience in the dreamworld is. I look up toward the top windows of one of the houses in front of me and see a few DCs hanging out. I want to start a conversation, but think it would be cool to find H in the dream. I ask them if they know where she is, and they inform me that she’s a bit behind me in one of the nearby houses. I decide not to go in this area however as I feel it would take too long.I then think about how long the lucid is, and how simply it is just to stay in the dreamworld; it feels effortless. I think about teleporting somewhere else, but don't want to lose the scene. I find myself in a gym and see a few guys working out. I think it would be fun to TK one of them, and I begin lifting him up. I then try to TK myself over to a pullup bar, but it feels awkward. I fly to it instead, then turn around. There’s a guy at a bench press who sits up, explaining to me how he is trying to get into training. I ask him his name and he says something similar to ‘Jecimo’. He begins talking about his trainer, and I mention to him that nobody can read his mind, but I can help him with his training. I begin to talk to him about his training, and give him some advice with a lot of enthusiasm and speed. I get drawn into the dream with engagement in the topic and my lucidity begins dropping a bit. I wake up.

Nothing to say. Hot night, hard to sleep, lighting storm and thunder woke me up and scared the dogs, basically didn't get back to sleep. Just one tiny weak fragment. Feeling of a longer dream.

+ [f] something about people in a bunker?