All DJ Entries

10.02.2010

End of The World (MILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I was thinking about the task of the year before I went to sleep, particularly the "End of the World" part. I wondered how I could logistically get to the future and have the world end. This caused my first (uninentional) MILD. I couldn't think of anything lying in bed, but luckily my subconscious did the work for me.
The earliest part of the dream I remember is watching the planets revolving around the sun. They were nowhere near to scale- all the planets were far too big and far too close to the sun, but what the hell. I looked at the Earth, and out of the corner of my eye (if I had eyes, I can't recall any sort of body), saw a huge chunk of rock drifting closer and closer. It wasn't a conventional comet- what it reminded me of was a shot of a Star Destroyer from the start of one of the older Star Wars movies. It was that kind of flat-ish shape and very long. Far larger than the Earth. I became very alarmed.
"Didn't the people on Earth know about this? How could they miss it? Ohhhhh..." I became lucid when I realised what was about to happen and remembered the task. From my vantage point, I watched with a kind of morbid interest crossed with dread. To my surprise, instead of obliterating my beloved planet, the Star Destroyer-shaped comet glanced off the Earth's atmosphere. It hit the atmosphere at an angle of about 10 degrees, and just "bounced off", now floating in the direction of the sun. A strange side-effect of the near miss was to knock the Earth out of its normal orbit. The "bounce" effect had some sort of recoil. It didn't make an enormous difference to the Earth's orbit, it was now just circling a bit closer to the sun.

I vaugely wondered,
"If this is the end of the world, what's going on?" I glanced over at the sun just in time to see it envelop the comet. I felt that something awful was about to happen, and right then, a solar flare started to form. Its arc covered the entire face of the sun on the side the comet had just entered, and built in intensity until it formed a circular shape larger than the sun itself. Then it was released. The wave of orange light flew directly at the Earth in its new orbit. As it hit, my POV zoomed in on Australia, of all places. I could see Sydney's distincive opera house, and the sea beyond. The wall of orange light blasted into the sea in sections. One blast would hit the sea, instantly vaporize all the water, leaving a gaping chasm surrounded by water. These chasms were only visible for a split second before the surrounding water filled them in. On land, it was a similar story. Buildings, roads and uninhabited areas were obliterated, entirely burning off the outer layer of the Earth's crust, bit by bit.



For the rest of the dream, I lost lucidity and became one of the few people left alive on a deserted island East of Australia.

09.02.2010

Disturbed (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Had a bizzare dream this morning. I think I must have been in a terrible mood (in the dream) when I became lucid each time, and just wanted to wake up.

I was on a country lane at night, halfway up a cliff. As soon as I became lucid I dove straight off the cliff for no real reason I can remember. I landed on a road exactly the same (it seemed like the exact same road). So I got up and threw myself in front of a car.

There were a couple of other attempts at self-destruction which were a massive waste of time, looking back. Most just lost me lucidity.

Stuff to Do

There's a few things I want to do in future lucids to increase quality and vividness. I thought I'd post them in here to remind myself. The main one is to find more natural methods of dream control than forcing my visualizations into existence in the dream world. In the sweet WILD I had earlier, there were a few times where I tried to change scene, or get someone to appear, purely by trying to see them. It kind of half-worked, but I lost a lot of focus on the entire dream world, and the results were pretty poor. (One example was a ghost-like, ugly girl who appeared instead of a hot girl I was after- her face also distorted a few times)

I guess the results were so bad because my imaginative facilities were already in full use with rendering an entire world. That could be why it's hard to visualise things in your head in dreams- everything is already in your head, we can't have a "dream imagination" without the subject of our imagination coming into existence... can we? Anyway, if I maybe used some more logic-friendly control methods, I could get clearer results.

08.02.2010

Gladiatores Pugnant! (WILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

This one was actually made up of the initial WILD, then countless DEILDs, but for the sake of neatness I'll keep them all in the same entry.

I was sleepy this morning, so I tried to WILD. I lay on my back for, I'd say, 25 minutes before switching to my right side. It was only about 5 more minutes after that before I got into a dream.

I had a FA in my old house. It was a sunny day, and the curtains were open in my bedroom. I went straight to the window, opened it, and climbed out. Standing on the roof, I looked up and down the street, just taking everything in. It really amazes me sometimes. I was still wearing my dressing gown, so I took it off, then floated down to my front garden. I got distracted by taking a detour round the side of the house, finding it strange that the side gate was open. I floated back onto the roof, and sat down with my back against the chimney. I could feel the rough bricks against my back very clearly. After some pondering, I remembered the task of the year. I had been thinking about it before I got to SP. With a gladiator fight in mind, I thought about a way to change scene to Ancient Rome. I jumped off the roof and landed in the back garden. A big red plastic bucket (about 3 feet in diameter) I used to own was sitting in the long grass near the back fence. I approached it, trying to convince myself it was one of the pipes from Super Mario which would drop me out in the sky above the Colloseum. There was water in the bucket. Without hesitation I dunked my head in, and the rest of my body followed. It was (as always) a bit surprising to find I could breathe underwater. On the bottom of the bucket were some stones. I focused on one which was vaugely Colosseum-shaped lol and tried to imagine that it was the Colosseum- I was just far above it. I tried to think of all the other stones as buildings and the spaces between them as roads. I wasn't getting anywhere, so I shut my eyes and did a somersault, hoping that when I opened my eyes, I would be falling towards the Colosseum. As I did this, I shouted,
"Rome!" Unfortunately, I woke myself up.

I wasn't quite awake, but was back in my body seeing nothing but blackness and feeling SP. This has come up a few times before- I like to think of it as the "loading program" for DEILD's, like from The Matrix.

I had a view of a scene for a second, like I was looking through a peephole. I concentrated on the sand on the floor of the Colosseum (think Gladiator), rubbed my hands in it, and soon felt integrated enough to stand up. I was in the Colosseum all right, but it was night time, and the floor area was slightly smaller than I expected. There were people standing all around me, looking up at the crowd. They were all carrying weapons of some kind, but not much armour. The most anyone had was a helmet.



Suddenly, a klaxon sounded. It was a really horrific noise, lasting two seconds, coming from some unearthly instrument. At its sound, the gladiators in the arena drew their weapons and charged at each other. The crowd roared. I reached down by my sides and pulled out two scimitars.
"Haah!" I laughed. I was still in my dressing gown. I ran forward into the nearest bunch of fighters, slashing wildly. I don't even know if I got anybody, but after a minute the survivors ran off.

I paused to indulge in some victorious sword-twirling, but dropped one. I sheepishly threw the other one down beside it, hoping the crowd would think it was deliberate.

I had a FA then, in my bedroom. My TV was switched on, which is unusual becuase it has no aerial input, and the DVD player doesn't work. I sat up in bed, too aware of this oddity to be fooled into non-lucidity. I wanted to examine what was on carefully, to determine whether or not I was hearing the TV from downstairs or something. The first thing was an ad for PKR. The ad's audio claimed that it was PokerStars, but I recognised the sims-like graphics of PKR. It was one of those ads which makes online-poker look really cool. One female player put in a big raise, and the grey-haired dude to her left raised his eyebrow suspiciously before confidently calling her bluff to win the hand. Then Glee came on, a show I've never really been interested in. One of the main characters was sleeping on a pile of bedclothes on the floor. Her friend came in and woke her up. What convinced me that I was not in fact hearing the TV from downstairs, was that she called the main main character "Glee". I knew this to be bullshit, since the name "Glee" comes from "Glee Club"- which I understand to be a nerdy persuit in High Shool. (Thanks to Weird Al)



I half-woke up again, and visualised being back in front of the TV, drumming on the stand. I ended up a few feet back from the TV, with an awesome redhead sitting on my lap. She showed me a good time.

After another DEILD, I found myself lounging on my bed talking to some friends. Well, I tried to talk but couldn't make any noise without (I reckoned) waking myself up. The curtains were closed, giving the room an orangey glow. I skipped forward and wound up in the back seat of a car with three of my friends. I tried to get a certain hot girl I know to appear beside me, but I only managed to spawn an ugly 15 yr old girl. :S I don't think I was 100% lucid here, because I got a "false memory" implanted somehow. Apparently I had just been camping with this group of friends.

I woke up yet again, and my whole body felt seriously heavy, like it was made of stone. I think I'm getting better at holding on to dreams. To get back in again, I "felt" myself typing random words, which just formed up in my subconsious. Some of them were complete jibberish, and they certainly didn't make any sense as a sentence. However I distinctly remember typing the word "Personality".

In another DEILD, I heard a very distinctive, high-pitched whine. It seemed to be coming from my brain itself, and felt like a vibration. Hard to describe. I focused on it until it became almost deafening, and made me extremely dizzy. I found myself in the living room, and decided to go visit my friend Lucy from down the street. I ran and headbutt-dived through the front window as I did once before, and headed out of the driveway. I accidentally knocked my shin against the wall on the way out which actually hurt a bit!

I was eventually woken up by someone knocking the door downstairs. I heard it from within the dream, which made me focus too much on the waking world. When I awoke, I found a massive pool of drool under my face.

06.02.2010

Driving Practice (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I've only ever driven a car once before, a couple of years ago, and I'm due to start lessons soon, so it was on my mind.

I was driving down a not-very-busy road, but kept stalling. I remembered how to start the car and get it going. Although I can't remember now what order I did any of it in. I put the gearstick in neutral, held down the clutch, turned the key, then eased on the accelerator and let out the clutch... or something like that. The car started anyway.

06.02.2010

Ice Hockey (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I was playing in an ice hockey match, except the rules were more like baseball. There was a batting team and a fielding team. Everyone still used hockey sticks and a puck though. I was very poorly equipped, and had to keep switching pads with people getting subbed in and out.

One time while I was waiting on the bench, Wayne Rooney sat down beside me. I talked to him for a bit, then took a photo with him. A whole bunch of my friends jumped in as well. The photo was really crap quality, and I had to retake it.

Later, I was back on the ice, and managed to stop a home run by blocking the puck with an un-padded area of my shin. It didn't hurt at all, which I should have questioned more. A few other times, I stretched out and missed the puck by inches. I didn't really expect myself to be able to do it, and funnily enough, I couldn't.

I'm going to have to add "Celebrities" to my list of dreamsigns along with "Wet Phone". It was very useful to write in my DJ about the wet phone dreamsign, as it seemed to really solidify it in my head, and I got lucid off it a couple of times since then.

03.02.2010

Skydiving!! (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Awesome dream.

I was on holiday with about 30 other people. We were sitting around a swimming pool under parasols. I can't remember much about this part. The next thing I remember is one of the holidaymakers, who was a professional animator, knitted a hot air balloon in about 20 seconds. It was a strange design, made of wool, and it could carry all of us. We were all attached to harnesses which were then attached by ropes to the balloon section itself. (Diagram below!) In the beginning, the balloon was no more than a big flat pile of wool we were all attached to, but it lifed up from the middle, and rose up in the air very quickly.


M=Me, D=Donovan


Soon we were miles high, and I could see for hundreds of miles around. The ground was largely green, with a few small towns, and two mountains in the distance. The guy piloting the balloon was called Donovan. He was roped on at the very bottom middle, where the basket would normally be. He shouted,
"Everyone ready?" and everyone replied,
"Yes!" He pulled a cord, and the balloon split. We were in freefall. 30 of us, roped together. It was the most exhilerating experience ever. (makes me want to do real skydiving) The ground was spinning far below us. For a few seconds, I went into a head-first dive. It became scary, so I closed my eyes. Then I thought closing my eyes was a waste of the view, so I opened them again.

It was then that I realised I didn't have a parachute. In fact, no one did, except Donovan. Apparently the plan was for him to open his own parachute, which was big enough to take all of us. We fell closer and closer to the earth. I could see individual houses quite clearly.
"Donovan, NOW!" somebody shouted. Still he waited. I thought,
"This could very well be it, I might die here." The thought was strangely liberating. It looked like we were going to land in a large field near a village. Right at the last second, Donovan pulled the ripcord and the parachute opened. Since he was a few metres below me, and there was a few metres of rope between him and me, I had to fall another 7 or so metres before I felt the almighty tug of the parachute and I was saved from death only a metre above the ground. I slammed into the grass with quite some force nonetheless, but my ass took the impact. A few others weren't so lucky, as all around me people thudded straight into the ground. They got up unhurt, and I was ecstatic from the experience.

03.02.2010

Guidance (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I was sitting in the assembly hall of my primary school, for some reason. Something or other turned me lucid as everyone got up to leave. I saw the hottest girl ever across the crowd. She was a bit smaller than me, with long blonde hair. I tried to keep an eye on her, as I thought she might disappear if I looked away, like how writing always changes in dreams. (I was more lucid here than in the previous two dreams) I made a beeline for her, but I was stopped by my friend Hugh. Strangely, he knew this was a dream. He said,
"Don't bother going after her, wait here." I sensed that he had something important to say. "These two will help you out," he continued, indicating a couple who stepped into my field of vision. I turned round to look at them, wondering if Hugh meant I should have sex with them, or just ask them for advice. The man was skinny, pale, had a goatee and wore glasses. The woman was pretty unremarkable. I frowned with puzzlement. They didn't say anything, so I flew out into the sky via a skylight, and fell back down through another.

Then I was woken up again.

03.02.2010

Casino! (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I was walking round a petrol station, looking at golf clubs. I thought,
"Why the hell am I looking at golf clubs?" and became lucid. I stepped outside through the automatic door, and found myself in Las Vegas. It was night time, and I was on the strip. I looked around in wonder at all the flashing lights. Out of nowhere, my brother Matthew appeared by my side. I just looked round and he was there.
"Come on," I said. "We're going to the casino!" I pointed across the road at a casino which was lit up with pink and red neon lights. It looked like it was pulsating, the way the lights were configured.



We had to cross the strip. I started singing a stupid song about "Going to the Casino," and after a minute, it sounded like a whole brass band was backing me! I continued singing, and the band made eveything sound brilliant. It really was an excellent song, but I can't remember any of it!

03.02.2010

Cool Shades (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I was woken up numerous times this morning, but I was so tired I went straight back to sleep and had some sweet dreams. Three of these, I became lucid in, and the fourth was just exhilerating (although non-lucid). Since I'm writing this over 24hrs after having the dreams, all I can remember are the lucid parts.

I was crossing a busy street beside a roundabout in quite a picturesque town. There was a park on the other side I wanted to go to. As I stepped off the kerb (which was quite high) I noticed that the impact of my foot hitting the road wasn't as hard as I expected. In fact, it was like I floated a bit. I checked my left hand, and it had so many fingers it looked like an old-fashioned hand fan. Maybe the most ridiculous my hand has ever looked! I chuckled to myself and floated across the road a few feet off the ground. I stopped before reaching the other side, and had to do a swimming motion with my arms to get to the kerb.

I floated into the park. It had three or four levels. As I went farther in, the levels got lower. There were people subathing on deck chairs on every level. Apparently the park had been designed to take advantage of the sun's position in the sky throughout the day, to get maximum sunlight. I floated 10-15 metres above the sunbathers. Looking down, I could see that each level of the park had a huge trampoline. This reassured me- I was getting to a height above which I always get nervous. I spotted one female sunbather, reclining on a lounger. She was wearing an awesome pair of sunglasses. I wanted them. I held out my arm and plucked them off her face with telekenisis from far above. They had black lenses and big orange/black plastic frames. I put them on and swooped off.



I think I was woken up again here.

02.02.2010

It's a Strange World (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I tried a WILD in the early afternoon because I was knackered from getting up way too early. I ended up just falling asleep normally though, but I got some rolling sensations later on.

I got up from my bed and started having a conversation with my friend Jamie, who was pacing up and down in my room for some reason. I turned towards the window, and got the strange impression that he was going to attack me. I also got very dizzy out of the blue. Something didn't seem quite right, so I thought for a second, then realised this must be a dream! Right away everything started to fade out. I don't know what happened. I wasn't excited enough to wake myself up, but I did anyway.

Later on, I dreamt that I was lying in bed with my eyes closed, trying to DEILD. Little did I know I was actually still properly asleep. I could see a computer screen through my eyelids, but I convinced myself I had just looked at it in real life and now I was just recalling it. At one point I opened my eyes a crack, and saw the screen much clearer. (Although I thought it was real life) If I had just gone with that I would have had a sweet lucid, but no such luck.

EDIT: I've been on a bit of a dry spell lately and my DJ is gathering virtual dust, so I might type up a couple of weird lucid/OBE's I had about a year ago- the ones which caused me to find this site.

29.01.2010

Vampire Invasion (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

This was a really long dream where I gained and lost lucidity five or six times. Unfortunately I can only remember fragments.

A meeting was called between all the people in a town to discuss what to do about vampires, who were growing in number in the area. Most of the group was made up of militant rednecks, shouting "Yee-haw" and firing off shotguns. Eventually the decision was made that we should go to war with them. On the way out of the building, everyone was having their picture taken and retinas scanned, to make ID cards. I was next in the queue, but people kept taking my place. When I finally got to the machine, I entered my name. Then another guy came along and had his picture taken. The machine had recorded that I was an overweight hillbilly wearing nothing but dungarees. When I was the last one in the room, I tried again, but the operator thought everyone was done, so he put the camera away. I yelled at him and thought,
"This is ridiculous." I became lucid. I can't remember much of what I did next, but I have memories of running outside and getting laid into some vampires. I tore off jaws, decapitated, and punched clean through a whole crowd of them. One sick sight I came across was a naked guy strapped to a cart. Somebody had bitten his dick off, and a vampire woman was pushing him around the streets as a free meal for any vampires. Needless to say, I opened up a can of whoopass on her.

Later on, I found out about a group of women who had pimped out a bus and were going around killing vampires. They called themselves something like "Women Against Vampires", I can't remember it exactly. I stood in the middle of the road as their bus approached me. I had to jump out of the way to avoid being hit, and became lucid again. I ran behind the bus and jumped straight up on top of it. From there, I beat the shit out of several vampires who leapt on board as the bus was still going.

There was much, much more to this, but I can't remember it!

29.01.2010

Flying Cars and Warm Sun (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I was woken up early this morning by an alarm I don't remember setting, felt hungover to the max, so went back to sleep. Say what you like about hangovers, but they're prime time for lucidity!

Me and about three friends were visiting a city in America. In appearance, it looked a lot like Paris, with old-ish but fashionable buildings and a tram line running along the street. We all sat down for a drink at a white table and chairs at the side of the road. Looking to my right, I could see all the way down to the sea. We were quite high up. I noticed what appeared to be a space research centre a few miles away. Attatched to the outside was a spaceship simulator. It was grey, futuristic and lifesize. Suddenly, the simulation began. It started rocking about and going from side to side. I turned to the table and said,
"That's the most awesome thing I've ever seen." Next, a blue car flew up into the air from near the space centre. It was not unlike the car from the second Harry Potter movie, but I couldn't see it very well from the distance I was at.
"Scratch that," I said. "That's the most awesome thing I've ever seen!" It flew off into the distance as I tried to rationalise it. I started talking about the Moller Skycar, and assumed that must be one of them.

A train soon came along the track beside us. I was expecting a tram, but I was even more surprised to see that every so often, the entire train would lift off the ground and float for a few metres, before landing back on the track. I got curious, and then lucid. I stood up and floated myself up onto the railing beside the table.
"So what was that all about?" I asked the table, half laughing. Nobody answered, and I quickly forgot about them, becoming absorbed in floating between walls and fences as I made my way downhill. I noticed that, hungover as I was, I felt fine in the dream. I looked out towards the sea, and decided I wanted to get down there. I thought about just launching myself, but I didn't feel up to the extreme falling sensation that always comes with it. So I glided my way down the hill, which soon became sand dunes. I hit the ground running (literally), and ran the rest of the way down the dunes like I used to do when I was a kid at the beach. I looked up at the sun, and could really feel its warmth. I turned around, and for the first time in a dream, noticed my shadow. The scene was beautiful. On the beach were tall brown rocks, on which some people had laid out towels to sunbathe on. I headed for the shore, and a woman on my left caught my attention.
"Do you want to have sex with me?" she asked.
"Mmmmm, naaah," I replied after some thought. It seemed like a waste of a lucid. I wandered into an arrangement of rocks which was shaped almost like a house, and started talking to some people inside. I think I lost lucidity around here, because I spent ages trying to help a DC with his phone instead of doing something interesting.



Then I was woken up by some jackass ringing me about "payment insurance protection" or some bullshit like that.

28.01.2010

Forgotten DEILD (DEILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

this morning, I remember doing a DEILD. However, I can't remember the dream itself! I was lying on my left side, visualising a dreamscape I had just left- a grassy gnoll near my dad's house.

I was comfortably in the stage where I was actually "seeing" the scene rather than just imagining it, and I thought to myself,
"Yeah, that's what I'm talkin' about," before my memory goes blank.


Warning: tangent...

This got me thinking about how the brain creates our reality. Now I'm no neuroscientist, but that doesn't stop me hypothesizing! When we see things, sensory information is sent from the eye to the brain, where the brain processes it all, allowing us to "see". But when we are recieving little/no sensory input (ie during sleep), surely the brain can still do its processing? In fact, I think the senses are not completely essential for the creation of a reality by the brain. When I was trying to DEILD, it felt like I was "seeing". Of course, my real eyes weren't involved at all, the scene was created from my imagination. The brain will still be firing the same neurons, doing the same processing as it would if it was getting the input from my eyes rather than my imagination. I highly doubt this is making any sense at all, hopefully someone knows what I'm getting at, even if I can't word it...

I guess my concluding thought would be: how different are dreams from reality? A quotation from Morpheus springs to mind,
"If real is what you can feel, smell, taste and see, then 'real' is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain."

27.01.2010

Riding the SP Train... and sex (WBTB)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

My bedroom was freezing cold this morning, so I wore pyjamas and a dressing gown and wrapped myself up like a sausage roll in extra blankets.

It couldn't have taken me more than 15 minutes to get to a SP stage. Nearly right away, it felt like my torso was rising out of my body to the right. It felt bizzare. I then had the sensation of rolling to the right. I expected to hit my desk, but no such impact came, and I laughed (more of a squeak) because it was so fun. Thinking about it, I don't know if the laugh was real, or I laughed when already in a dream, it's hard to make distinctions in that state.

I sat up to find myself in an old four-poster bed. The frame and posts were very dark wood, and contrasted greatly with the bright white bedsheets. Down at the other end of the bed was a girl. I think I knew her, but I straight up can't remember who she was. We had sex anyway. Halfway through, she changed into a girl I know called Emma.

One of the times when I closed my eyes without thinking, opened them to find myself in a swirling blackness. A song started to play. It was "Battlefield" by Jordin Sparks, quite a catchy song. The next place I ended up was a restaurant/bar/supermarket. There were small circular tables in booths at one side of the room, and a grocery section at the other. My memory of this part is hazy, I think I started talking to a bouncer. Soon the swirling black descended again, and the music returned. It was blasting the chorus now, absolutely roaring - like when you have headphones turned all the way to the max. My thoughts turned to where I was going next. I remembered the task of the month, which was to have a glass of champagne, so I concentrated on going back to that bar/supermarket. I was there almost right away, and I wasted no time in dashing into the drink section, uncorking a bottle of champagne with my teeth and pouring a glass. I reached into the back of a shelf and pulled out a plastic champagne glass. I drank it in two gulps, noting that it had no real taste, then tried to drain the bottle. Unfortunately, as I closed my eyes I had a (possibly false) awakening.



I honestly don't know for sure if I woke up, but I'm pretty sure it was the real deal, as I felt real tiredness. I closed my eyes again and SP came on in no more than 30 seconds. It felt like I was rocking from side to side, so I opened my eyes a crack and saw the celing. After I closed them again, I began to spin rapidly to my right. It was like being on the end of a giant drill.

I was standing in the street where I used to live with my friend Hugh. It was a bright sunny day and I was wearing a yellow t-shirt. Hugh said something I didn't understand, so I replied with,
"This is a dream, weird eh?" He looked at me suspiciously, so to prove to him the nature of this reality, I took a running jump off a kerb. I sailed down the street a bit, and when I landed, I intentionally slid along the ground as if I was wearing roller blades. In real life I used to roller blade there all the time, but I was never very good. I snaked back up the street toward him, doing jumps and spins whenever possible.

As I got closer, I saw a girl in the distance on a bicycle. I recognised her as a friend-of-a-friend from university. I slipped and fell on my front, and by the time I stood up again, I had ripped off all my clothes. She led me into a field and we got in on in the open air.

EDIT: I remember having a few more FAs, where I looked at my hand. One time I had no fingers at all!