All DJ Entries

thank god this one turned out ok, that would suck to have a rape dream. anyway, im in this apartment, or hotel room, and im investigating a possible future rape. its all detective like, and im the detective. theres some sort of paper on a counter in front of me, and i see a knife on it, positioned just right to make some letters appear. i move the knife and i see the word "RAPE" among other letters. i then hear a walkie talkie say "hes in there, hurry!". i run into the next room and theres a blonde woman being held by a muscular bald guy, my subconscious is so stereotypical lol. this is where it gets strange. for some reason, to stop the bad guy from raping her, i have to throw around a plastic bottle of some sort of spice as hard as i could, and pretend it was the rapist. apparently it worked! the blonde woman thanked me, and we sat down on the floor. i then was looking at the bathroom, and we went over to examine the bathtub, which was weird. there was this space at the corner, to catch escaping water from the tub. before i saw the corner, she was like "where does the water go.....?" i looked, saw the corner, and said "it goes over the side...." wondering how she couldn't see it. then, her date came back from wherever he was, and i said something like "well, i'll leave and let you two get back to whatever you were doing...", implying sex. i think they were prom dates or something, and the dude had a hotel room. i went over to the other side of the room and grabbed my shoes, which were apparently off the entire time lol.

this one was a random lucid, i didn't even RC . i was outside, it was night time, and i suddenly became lucid. there was a lot of debris and paper and cardboard, from some sort of storm i think. there was a big boulder behind my house, don't know how a storm moved that lol. it was about the size of a car, a small sports car, really big. i thought to myself "that'll work..." and tried to levitate it. i'm getting better at the levitating thing, i did it on the first try. i levitated it all the way to the end of my backyard, where strangely it turned into a mannequin lol. then some old man came out and asked me what i was doing. somewhere in my head i was still thinking it was a rock, wasn't as lucid as i thought i guess. i tried to make the mannequin roll toward me, i was gonna try and stop it, like it was an actual boulder lol. i think i then realized that it was a mannequin and started for the front yard. as i went to the front yard, everything started fading, very slowly turning black. i focused and made it go away, it was cool. anyway, when i got to the front yard, there was a lot of leaves on the ground, it was daytime, and it was fall. i wanted to try airbending, and the leaves were the perfect thing to use for it. i tried to airbend, but i could only make a small breeze, something you could make with a broom lol. i gave up and wanted to try earthbending again. there was this patch of dirt next to my driveway that i wanted to try it on. i walked over to it, but thats where my memory stops unfortunately.

Key:
Non-Lucid, Lucid, Commentary/Notes, Hypnagogic Hallucinations
i Inner Awareness, a Action, f Form, c Context

I was at my deceased grandmother's house with J and S ( c ). We were going to watch all six Star Wars movies twice over, and we did ( c ). My deceased aunt was there too, just milling around and giving us food ( c ).

When we were finished I couldn't find my shoes. I was angry that someone had stolen them ( c ).

My parents were there and told me to get in the car and forget about my shoes. I carried a giant cardboard tie-figher outside ( a,f ). Instead of a car my parents had a strange thing that was like a tie-fighter wing ( c ). We had to get inside it, but it didn't make sense because it was pretty flat. The frame could be moved around to let people get inside, which I did followed by my dad then my mum ( f,a ). Then my dad closed it and it shrunk back into a flat shape with us somehow still inside... ( f,c )

Like the title says. I don't even like Star Wars, so it's really weird that I would dream about it.

25.07.2010

Flying Around (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

This is my first decent lucid dream, so it was pretty awesome for me.
I don't think i was completely lucid, because i didn't really realize that I was dreaming, and I didn't do a RC. I did have some thoughts about dreaming, but I don't remember what I thought.
So I wasn't completely lucid, but it was very vividand I had some control, so it must be awesome to be completely lucid.

I don't remember how the dream started. I was in my house with a guy who knew everything about controlling myself in the fantasy world. I concidered myself more in a fantasy world than in a dream.
I was in my house with a person who could go to the fantasy world whenever he wants. He knew everything about fantasy, and living and controlling yourself in it. I think I was locking someone in a room in my house. I didn't like the person, and the room doesn't really exist IRL. The room was a little bigger than the toulet and it looked old inside with a wooden desk. I went outside to my garden with him. I felt free like I had control. He went to sit down in front of our garden house, while I tried to fly. It worked, I was flying around above my garden and the trees behind it.
I landed and I tried again. This time, I was more making big jumps than I was flying, and it wasn't as high as when I was flying. I wanted to jump higher but I couldn't. I yelled "higher!" It worked for 1 jump, then I jumped pretty low again. (The jumps still were 3-4 meters high) I asked the fantasy guy what I should do, but I think he didn't answer. I was still jumping, and while I was in mid air, I decided to use pyrokinesis. The fantasy guy had changed in a sheep. I tried to make a circle of fire around him, but instead he ran in circles while there was fire behind him that completed the circle. Good enough. Then I wanted to show my mom the pyrokinesis. She was standing at the door. I had a memory of her saying never to use pyrokinesis as a rookie, because I might not be able to control it and turn the dream into a nightmare. I still did it because I knew I was only in the fantasy world. I made some fire in front of her. She put out the fire. (I was still hanging in the air by the way) There were some other plants also burning, on the other side of the window. I said it because she couldn't see them from where she was standing. She said I had to wait because she can't do it all at the same time. Then I came closer to put them out myself. Here it was already less vivid. The big window was open, it's a window that you can walk through. I saw some fire in our living and started to panic. I said we had to put that fire out first.
I woke up.

I didn't mark this dream as lucid because it was only semi lucid. I used the words "fantasy world" because I knew what I did there was not real, but I didn't realize that I was dreaming.

Warning: Considering I have not been laid in a good eight months, my id happens to be a very horny bastard. This is reflected in the choices I make when I'm lucid.

I suppose I should start using the color text thing to make it all easier for you guys.

Black = Comment
Blue = Dreaming
Red = Lucid

It's actually really weird. I think I start out lucid. Anyways, I'm driving along a street in a rural area, and I notice two people talking on the side of it, one in a car, one standing outside. I look, and son of a bitch, the one standing out side is Adolf Hitler. Without the mustache, but, sure enough, it is Adolf Hitler. The reason automatically comes to my mind. Of course Adolf Hitler never died. He was captured by the allies, and given regenerative treatment so that he could live forever in America. Anyways, I'm curious, so I park my car and sneak onto Adolf Hitler's property. It's a pretty large property, with a mansion sort of house, a pool, with a yard and lawn that stretches for a good quarter of a mile.

The creme de la resistance, though? His parking lot.

It's not exactly a parking lot. Just the area where he stores his cars.

All of Adolf Hitler's fine, sexy cars.

After checking out his swimming pool and hot tub (Which I commented on with "Adolf Hitler! My main man!"), I turned around and noticed the cars.

I thought I was going to have a wet dream, right then and there. (Of course, that comes later.)

Despite all of the other sexy cars, my eyes are drawn towards one in specific: A classic, dark blue, muscle car. I'm not sure what it was, I just knew it was SEXY. So I walk over to it. Realizing it's locked, but realizing I'm lucid, I simply will the lock unlocked.

I get in the car. Full leather interior. Holy shit this car is so fucking sexy. I start it up (With imaginary lucid keys, of course.) and drive off of Adolf Hitler's parking lot, and back onto the road. I notice that Adolf Hitler was driving the crimson copy of this car just a bit down the road, so I stop to let him go further so that he doesn't spot someone stealing his car.

After a while of joyriding in the car, the guy Adolf Hitler was talking to (Who just so happens to be Hank from Breaking Bad) drives up to me, smiles at me, and nods. I know he knows I stole this car. I try to make his head pop with my lucid powers, but all that serves to do is sever my lucidity.

Fortunately, the dream doesn't end there. I ditch the car, and run to this rural barn-like thing. I figure it's actually a government testing site, a la Area 51, and trip the alarm intentionally. With Hank called off to check on that, I run into the field and attempt to hide behind the tall grass. While doing so, I notice a few kids and their parents walking around. That's when I realize I'm near my old elementary school. I get out of the grass, and get onto the playground.

I go lucid again, for some reason. Instead of doing anything right away, I just stand there and appreciate how REAL everything seems at the time. I go up to a metal pole and just feel it with my hands, feel the metal, and feel the sensory experience I'm normally only used to in real life.

Then my Id kicks in.

I try to use passive control in order to conjure up a... Erhm... Female. I try to think of a legitimate reason for any of the many girls I think are cute to be at the school at that moment. Nothing comes up.

What does come up, however is... Uhh...

Oh god, this part is so god damned embarrassing.

A good reason for my 50-something Sophomore history teacher to be there...

Unfortunately, my Id has full and complete control over me right now. I grab her, push her on the ground, pull down her panties from her skirt, and... Erhm... Get to work. Right there. In public. I figure, you know, since it's just a dream, oh well. My teacher just resigns herself to it.

I finish quickly, and lose lucidity and recall as I'm walking away.

I regain recall and lucidity as I'm walking through the darkened hallway of my old high school. I reach an intersection, and look left. My id, apparently not satisfied yet, notices one of my old female friends, M. Despite the fact that I know that, in real life, she has a boyfriend, I veraciously attack her.

Using my lucid powers, I tell her to kiss me. Unfortunately, my DCs aren't that weak willed. She starts biting my face, albeit playfully. After trying to make out with her a few more times and getting bit each time, I finally manage to start kissing her.

And then I do that some god damned thing where I lay her down right then and there, barely get enough clothes off to... Ehrm... Start it up, and then go at it.

I wake up before things even start to get really intense, though. Disappointed, maybe. But the making out was pretty good.


I have no idea where this fits in. I think somewhere during my drive in Hitler's car. I remember vaguely like I was watching a movie, some guy was on a second date with a girl, and he promised her that he'd drive really fast for her. And he did.

Note that I used the rubbing hands technique several times during all of these escapades, and it seems to actually work. Just forcing my mind to process sensory information from the dream world in general keeps my mind focused on it enough to stay there. Thanks for the tip, guys!

Awake Dreaming Semi-Lucid

So I'm not going to record every dream that I dream here from each night, because that would just be TOO much.

So my second semi-lucid (or lucid, you could say. That would be the first) was unexpectedly achieved. I'd gotten up at 9a.m this morning, had my breakfast and gone back up to my room to get changed. I sat on my bed and started reading, but I felt so tired because I'm trying to get my sleeping pattern back on track and I've been missing sleep.

I decided to just "rest my eyes", and I fell asleep. I remember vaguely that my dad came in, chuckled a little to himelf and then switched my light off.

It's sunny, but I'm wearing the long black coat I wore in winter. I'm also wearing jeans and trainers, which I find odd because it's just so warm!

For some random reason, I just feel so happy... It feels like joy is radiating from me, so I begin to skip down my street, not caring what people think. I get to an old estate I used to live in, and where a friend of mine (Andrea) still lives. But it's not her on the street, it's my three younger cousins; Declan (12), Sean (10) and Dylan (9).

The boys are pointing at rocks they laid down in two rows on my friends front garden (front "yard" to the Americans ) they're large and earthy colours such as greens and browns. I look at them closer, they're twisted and knarled, not like regular rocks, I think to myself. I think about touching one, but I can't. Some mental barrier is holding me back.

Unfortunatly, Dylan touches one instead. He screams at in uncurls and I realise in horror that the rocks are snakes. I'm not afraid of snakes, but I'm afraid of my cousins getting hurt. "Get away from them!" I shout to Dylan. He falls back and manages to shift backwards until he's at a safe distance.

"We need to get rid of these..." I say to myself. You don't find snakes in Scotland, so people would freak out if a whole bunch suddenly appeared from nowhere. I decided to go get help. "Stay right here," I tell the boys firmly. "Don't go near them."

I spin around and run into a lift behind me. (There's obviously not a lift in the middle of the street in reallife) Hitting a random button, I wait there and think to myself. Suddenly there's a woman with me (she looks a bit like Nanny McFee or whoever) and I think she's the woman I called on for help, although I can't remember doing that.

I try to remember, and then I start to think how strange that there are snakes in scotland... I knew I was dreaming, I had a little control but I wasn't thinking straight AT ALL and I was doing wierd things... haha.

I feel great knowing I am dreaming, but I remember to keep my emotions in check so that I won't wake up. The lift doors open and I'm in a white hallway. I run (pretty damn fast I think...) and jump, going higher and further than is possible. When I hit the ground I look around the corridor. My vision is blurry and I remember some of the techniques to make it clearer.

I try touching the wall, but nothing happens. So I shout to increase vividness and everything clears up. I walk through the door at the end of the corridor, wondering where it will take me. It takes me into a filthy, deserted public bathroom. There's dirt and graffiti everywhere, but I don't care.

"How conveniant," I think. "I need the toilet aswell..." Luckily when I pee in dreams I don't pee in my bed... . I see a mini bin full of toilet paper. "Why not? I'm dreaming anyway, I can do anything I want!" So I pull it over and pee in it. Told you I wasn't thinking straight!

I decide to experiment. I focus on some toilet roll, stretch my hand out, and curl my fingers inwards several times. The end begins to unwind and come towards me. I grab it, then drop my hand. It stops.

I'm very pleased with myself at this point. I look in the mirror, but I can't see myself because my image is blurry. I shoot gentle fire at my reflection and find it funny that she doesn't do it too. I decide I've had enough of this loo and walk out the door.

I'm in my friends house. The upstairs hallway in fact. I walk into the bedroom on the left. There's a man and a teenager on a bed playing an Xbox. I quickly shut the door, I don't want to spend my dream time playing the Xbox. I walk into another door across the hallway.

It's the same type of bed, but there's someone in it. Curious, I lift up the cover gently (I was trying not to wake them up) and gasp. The first thing I notice is his hair, it's jet black with subtle streaks of green in it. It's jagged and getting in his eyes. His skin is the palest I've ever seen, and flawless.

He moans, not opening his eyes, and tries to pull the duvet back over his face. But I cling on because I want to keep looking at him. His eyes slowly flicker open and focus on mine. He says nothing. His eyes are deep pools of black. He seems to be doing something to my brain because I can't think properly. I wonder what it would be like to kiss in a dream and if it would be the same.

So I think "what the hell" and kiss him. He doesn't object. It's the sweetest, tenderest kiss i've ever had (so yeah, he's a good kisser also. If only he was real!! ) I don't stop, but I soon get too caught up in it... and wake up.

So when I woke I realised that I wasn't in full control and was thinking like a drunk person but what the hell!! I'm really excited!!!

I was in the Australian bush somewhere, there were wide flat rocks with trees and we were elvated a decent amount above ground level.
I was on holidays with two guys and two girls. We were going to leave the girl there to do something. I think we had bikes, as well.
Somehow I was making this Indian brown curry, and I was looking at what to do and I was fairly confused about some of the steps. I had to make this third sauce (I'd already made two) and one was to be made out of the "simple sauce". Either the recipe or my sister said that "It should be obvious which one is the simple sauce. It is this one because you can leave it aside to cook whilst you do other things." This recipe wasn't by my sister because she had adapted it from somewhere else. I think I was checking my facebook and I got it from her there, and then I was also posting about it there.
The people I was on holidays with this Indian guy I have on facebook kept on asking me questions about it, even though I was as clueless as them, because it wasn't my recipe and I was starting to get annoyed about this.

And then zaga and elwebbaro were also there on facebook. I couldn't find him before because this time he spelt his nick as elwebaro instead of elwebbaro. SClause was there on the streets, but Dom wasn't. I guess it was France and Sweden and Australia all at the same time.
Suddenly I was there and in a month they were going to have a performance so I went to the preview for it. The street looked like St. George's Terrace, and the performance place was on the left if you were looking in a westerly direction.
It was a solo act, with a guy with a guitar singing stuff in French. And then after the performance someone was talking about how to get into the venue; the security devices and stuff.
These security devices have some great features. It used to be that you just gave them your drivers license or whatever, but these days they had eye scanners and face scanners to see if it really is you in the driver's license photo. And there was one device they recently installed where men could see "IF THEY'RE WEARING A GREAT PAIR OF WHAT YOU WANT", and although at this point it was showing a picture of these saucy, knee-length boots, I'm pretty sure it was talking about breasts . And for the most recent installation which is the most controversial of them all, you can see if they have recently committed suicide or not! Lol o_O

So the first part I remember is going to the moon with some of my school friends for a 'holiday'
We were sliding down the moon craters and just messing around.
A man called us into a room which led to the Black Sea. But funnily enough the Black Sea in my dream was ACTUALLY black. Once you were in there everything was black and to see anything you had to frantically swim to the surface. There were sharks in there but the man explained that unless you made a fuss they would only nibble at your toes. So afterwards I got out and I remember having a sayers paper bag.

I was hoping to have a lucid dream. I would always have deja vu dreams, but never like what has been described here on this site. Well.. minus that one time where I acknowledged that I could fly, but ended up being unable to after that and waking up.

But the day before last I started dreaming, don't remember a single thing, besides a bunch of noises woke me up. Like horns, bells, whistles, all this noise woke me up. Guess I'll try again tonight. I WANT to have a lucid dream every night. I want to use my lucid dream as my playground, as a way of building my experiments without huge costs to my emotion and wallet.

For the first time since starting this journal, last night (the 24th), I was incapable of recalling a single dream or even a hint of a dream. I guess I didn't sleep too well. I'll update this again in a few hours, hopefully, with a better recall. Wish me luck.

I'm going to try sleeping with binaural beats on..

07/24/10

Something about angels that die at the same time as their human mates... I should really stop reading bad fanfiction.

I'm running away from zombies. I want to take to the water, so I steal my uncle's boat and go down the creek.

I need supplies. I find another boat, but apparently it's owned by the still-surviving Mafia. I steal the boat.

Now I'm being chased by thugs sent by the Mafia, as well as zombies. I run into a building, blasting holes through walls and ceilings, trying to make a route to the roof. I realize that I'm dreaming. I try to black out and go to the first location I think of (the apartment in Ixburg). I stop, everything around me faded to grey, and wonder why the hell I'd want to go to Ixburg. I fade back into the dream and keep running.

I make it to the roof. My enemies are right behind me. I jump down onto a white truck, and make a run for it, laughing.

Later. I'm on the road in a camper-trailer. I'm making dinner and doing dishes. Oma wonders if there's not enough protein in the pasta I made.

We're going to see a movie in Moose Jaw (real place, I do not kid). We park the camper and I step out with my cousins. I look at the showtimes, but Despicable Me isn't playing in that theatre anymore. Apparently this is the first day it's not showing. I'm very sad.

The Mafia. Scare Factor: 3.

Notes: I'm writing up an especially epic dream from two days ago, which seems to directly follow up Seven Minutes in Heaven. Basically, Castiel (from Supernatural) gets captured by someone, and I take the opportunity to thoroughly mindfuck Team Free Will.

24.07.2010

Wife behavior triggers lucidity (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Well. This is my lowest night since several, several nights. I went to bed very late and woke up very early, I sleep only around 5 hours and I still managed to grab two dreams. One is a small fragment, and the other one, a lucid.

Second:

I had a false awakening in my room. I was with my wife and she was nude. My wife told me she did not need sex anymore. There were two more female characters and I asked to them what was going on with my wife. One of them told me that she may had other sources.

One of the female DC pulled a vibrating toy. It was hidden under my wife's pillow. We realized the reason that my wife needed no sex anymore. I felt bad about it, but got over it quick. I was looking for my dream journal. While I was looking for it, the issues with my wife came to my mind again. I wanted to talk with her about it.

I found my DJ. It was made out of gummy bears instead of regular paper. I could see some letters on it but it was hard. I started to write down my dreams and it shattered in several pieces (each gummy bear was separated) The DC helped me to put them together and I tried to write my dream, but the pen did not want to work.

I ran to the computer as I was afraid that my dreams were going to be forgotten. I saw my wife and it came once more to my mind the issue. I started to wonder why did she used such toy if she always has been happy with me. I reality checked as I was unsure that it could be for real. It was definitely fake. I had no thumb and two fingers were fused into one. I looked at my hand for a second time and it was fine. I jumped. I reached about a couple feet of heigh and I landed in slow motion. I left the room and walked downstairs to the living room. This house was not my waking house. I saw a big old school window and I decided to leave. I always fly in my lucids so is what I did (I rarely walk) I flew straight to the window but I hit the wall and bounced back.

I said to myself that I could easily go through the window. I flew into it again and flew through it. I could hear the glass shattering as I started to go through. I saw the pieces of the glasses falling being me.

I was flying over a big forest. The trees were big and they appeared treacherous. I realized that I was in a small island, surrounded by a lake. I could see a huge city after the lake. As I gained height, I saw that it was sunrise. I saw all the buildings with their lights on and the freeway getting crowed.

I looked up in the sky and I saw a huge and beautiful moon. I decided to fly towards it to meet with WakingNomad and company. As I gained more height, I felt passing through the big trees. While I was gaining height, I woke up. My wife's clock rang. Time to wake up to drive her to work.

Missed Dream Signs:
- The FA.
- They very odd shape of my wife's vibrating toy.
- My DJ was made of gummy bears.

Dream Signs noticed:
- Realizing that my wife would not act that way in waking.

Reality Check performed:
- Hand check.
- Gravity check.

I realised I was dreaming. I was talking to some girl iv never seen before. As soon as I realised I was dreaming everything started to fade. I kinda went auto pilot for a few seconds to try to stay in the dream. I didnt try moving or doing anything. The dream slowly came back and I observed my dream body respond to the girl and walk a few steps with her. When the dream had full clarity again I pulled my hand up and spawned a second pinky finger out of my hand. I walked away from the girl, I dont even think she noticed, she was talking as if I was still listening as I walked away.

I came to a spot while an incline down a long hill. There were a few pine trees around and everywhere was covered in sand. I felt I could slide down the sand so I took a few fast steps and pushed my feet out like you would do on ice. My feet sunk in straight away, there was a large log in the sand infront of me. I imagined it would be like snowboarding but without the board on my feet and tried again. It worked perfectly, I slid up and grinded the log. I started carving down the sand track, it was amazing. Just like snowboarding but on sand and without a board!! Then I noticed underneath the sand was rock. It was like a realy small halfpipe but the rock only emerged out of the sand on the very edges. I would carve down the slope and swing up to do grinds on the sides of the pipe. Two skateboarders were coming uphill towards me (Dont ask me how they were skating on sand!) so I easily carved in between them getting dangerously close. They looked impressed. I came to the end of the slope and there was a bunch of people watching some skates, a young beginner skater came infront of me and knocked my foot and I stumbled a bit. I met a few guys who were all real cool then I noticed one guy was holding a skateboard deck with no trucks on. I asked him if I could borrow it and headed back to the top to try it now with a skateboard but woke up

24.07.2010

Small Fragment (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Well. This is my lowest night since several, several nights. I went to bed very late and woke up very early, I sleep only around 5 hours and I still managed to grab two dreams. One is a small fragment, and the other one, a lucid.

First:

- Something about a principle.
- FA in my room.
- I was trying to recall dreams with no success.

Missed dream signs:
- The FA.

What I would have done if lucid:
- Unknown.

Note: It turned out that some really nasty things happened to Asuka during the time she was with L, she was in serious need of healing. That was my first priority, to go help MoSh with healing Asuka. I figured I would definitely take Basara with me… I had my first goal in mind when I fell asleep, but I was not successful in entering a WILD. I'm not even sure how I became lucid in this dream… it just kind of happened gradually, so gradually that I'm not exactly sure when I became fully lucid…

I was in the front yard of my house, and I noticed it was cloudy. I wanted to go for a walk, and the clouds made it much nicer to walk than when it is fully sunny. I left the house and went to the gate, realized I had forgotten the remote to the gate, so I climbed over it instead of going back into the house to get the remote. I walked down the dirt road and up to the main street where I turned left. I followed the road for a while until I reached the new housing development that has been going in recently. I'd never seen the houses up close, so I turned into the housing area and figured I would take a look around. It was nothing remarkable, all the houses were basically cookie cutter homes that all looked the same. Or mostly the same, there were about three different models repeated over and over and over… Then I went up a hill and found a house that looked different. The first thing that came to mind was MoSh's house in his inner world. But how could I be seeing that here? It looked so much like MoSh's place that I went to the door and knocked. Much to my amazement, MoSh answered.

"Oh, good… you're here," MoSh said as he hurried me into the house and closed the door behind me, "Asuka really needs help… I'm not sure what else to do for her except for try to heal her. The things I'd like to do to that bastard…"

I told MoSh he could do whatever he wanted to L, or I could do it and he could read about it in detail, or we could both do it together and he could read about it in detail… or he could probably get Walms to have some fun with L then read about it when Walms posted his DJ… or… MoSh interrupted me at this point, saying we should focus on Asuka for now, L could be made to pay later. I remembered that Basara would be able to help with healing Asuka so I focused on opening a portal to find Basara, the portal opened and Basara came through as if he had been expecting me. Somewhere in here must be where I became fully lucid, but it was the end of a gradual process so I'm not completely sure when it happened.

Basara and I followed MoSh into the bedroom where Asuka was hiding. And she really was hiding. She was in a corner of the room trying to disappear into the wall, she had her knees pulled up to her chest and her face was hidden as if she thought no one would see her if she couldn't see them. MoSh went over to Asuka and touched her on the shoulder, I noticed a very concerned look on Basara's face. Asuka responded right away to MoSh, she reached for him and immediately put her arms around him as if she was drowning in the ocean and he was her life preserver. Basara didn't need to be told what had to be done, he summoned a guitar and began playing a song that I recognized from the Macross 7 soundtrack, the song entitled Love Will Save Your Heart. I focused on the healing song along with Basara, thought it looked like MoSh was having problems getting to his guitar with Asuka clinging to him as she was… As the song was playing golden energy filled the room, giving everything in the room a golden shine that came just from the energy. When the song ended, there was no pause in the music as Basara moved seamlessly on to My Soul For You from the same soundtrack. Asuka had let go of MoSh by now and was sitting on the bed staring off into space, which meant MoSh could also add to the healing energy in the room. As this song ended, all three of us were contributing to one more song that I recognized from the Macross 7 soundtrack but I don't remember the title of it… the title was probably in Japanese.

There was still healing energy filling the room, although some of it looked now to be blues and whites instead of the usual golden energy, this energy seemed very relaxing, however, and it brought a warm sensation of comfort and safety, of love and caring… I continued focusing on the song Basara was using at the time, he had changed songs again. Asuka was still sitting on the bed, though she seemed to be paying attention to the three of us now as if we were giving her a private concert, which I suppose we were. The blue and white energy was centering in on Asuka and flowing around her in a manner that made it look like she was glowing… she looked more like an angel than anything, though she didn't actually have the wings… The music and the energy were so relaxing I thought I might fall asleep in the middle of the healing process… Basara played through one more song, I also don't remember the name of this one, and then the music stopped. There was still a bright glow about Asuka as the light energy was still surrounding her and flowing through her. I looked closer at her and saw she actually had a small smile on her face. Basara looked at Asuka and smiled himself, he said it looked good. He said he didn't know if that one time would be enough for her to get past what had happened, but he had to say one thing for her, she seems stronger than she looks. Now that the music had stopped Asuka lied down on the bed and fell asleep, though her sleep looked peaceful and relaxed. I told Basara that if she needed more healing, then she would have it. Basara agreed with that before opening a portal and going through it.

MoSh kissed Asuka ash she slept and then left the room, clearly meaning for me to follow him. I followed him into the next room where he had some pictures lying face down on a desk. He picked one of them up and looked at it only briefly before turning it face down on top of the others so that none of them were visible. He said that he needed to make sure Kanmuri knew how important it was to keep L away from Asuka. I opened a portal to get to L's inner world and the two of us went through.

MoSh and I exited the portal in the area of L's inner world where we usually seem to arrive. I wondered if it would be possible to enter at a different location if I needed to for some reason, this was the only place I could remember arriving. For this time, however, that location was just fine. I spotted Kanmuri not too far away from us, she was looking over at the guest house with a strange look on her face as if the building held some kind of unfathomable mystery. She saw us arrive there and said L was in the guest house again, she said she didn't know what he was doing in there, but she didn't think he had anyone in there with him, she was sure he hadn't gone after Asuka again… MoSh said Asuka was safe at home, but there was something he wanted to show Kanmuri. She asked what that was, looking at the pictures in MoSh's hands, which he gave to her.

Kanmuri stared at the first picture as if unable to comprehend exactly what she was seeing, then she looked at the next one and the third one before dropping the pictures on the ground. She had a look of total shock on her face, seemed unable to find any words appropriate for the situation. She said she never thought that would happen… she admitted she hadn't known L for long, but that was just so… so… and again words seemed to fail her. MoSh said that the things that had happened in those pictures showed clearly why Kanmuri has to make absolutely certain L doesn't get anywhere near Asuka again. Kanmuri stared at MoSh in stunned disbelief, again she didn't seem to know what to say, but that didn't last long…

"You don't actually expect me to stay here with that… that monster, do you?" she asked incredulously, "I've stayed here until now, and I was going to try to make sure he didn't go off and kidnap Asuka again, but that was before I knew he was a total psychopath! I'm out of here!"

"Then who is going to keep L away from Asuka if you don't stay?" MoSh asked.

Kanmuri was silent for a bit again, then she got mad, "So you expect me to stay here no matter what might happen?" she yelled right in MoSh's face, "So it's completely ok with you if I get tortured and gang raped and maybe even killed as long as your precious Asuka is safe? Well, guess what? I'm not going to stay around here as an outlet for that bastard's twisted fantasies! That was the only deal breaker, I don't care if he's a jerk, I don't care that he apparently hasn't even got the capacity to care about anyone, but I will not stay here and be abused!"

"You were supposed to keep L from hurting Asuka!" MoSh said, apparently getting upset himself, "You said you would do this, so you can't go and leave now!"

Kanmuri was so pissed off she was momentarily unable to speak, it also looked like she might cry, from rage? Sadness? It was more rage that she was expressing. "You are… you are…" Kanmuri finally found her voice, though she didn't seem to know what words to use, "You are such an ASSHOLE! If those things had happened to me, it wouldn't matter to you at all, would it? Well it's not happening!" She did something and then dropped a nasty expletive. She was muttering something about not even being able to open a fucking portal to get out of this hell hole. I asked where she was looking to go, I figured it wouldn't do any good to try to keep her here against her will. She said she wanted to go somewhere that she wouldn't be gang raped by a bunch of mindless drones and the king of all assholes… um… my inner world qualified for that… so I opened a portal to my inner world. MoSh told Kanmuri she couldn't just leave, she flipped him the bird and said watch her, she was already gone. She went through the portal to my inner world, and about the same time I woke.