All DJ Entries

August 19th

65/ Roadtripped with others. We stopped for gas and behind the station was a massive old abandoned house. I asked the gas station attendant whose house it was, I wanted to explore it. Was told they were doing a tour that night, as they do every weekeend. We stayed and explored the house.

66/ We lived underground, in hiding. There was a doorway that could only be seen from a certain angle. There was no bathroom underground so we had to risk our lives to venture outside to take care of business. I went out on such a mission and found a one story cinderblock building that was a ‘bathroom’. Inside it was empty except for areas where people had left piles of feces. I noped the hell out of there and continued my search for a place, all the while being very careful as I wandered outside.

Note: Bathrooms are appearing a lot too.

17th - No recall. Got lazy and didn’t write out my dreams thru the night.


18th

63/ Flying over waterfalls. Don’t know if in a plane or helicopter or on own. The falls were very high. Had a feeling something lived behind one.

64/ My room had all shapes, sizes, and colors of ants. They didn’t bother me in particular, just went about their ant business. I let them be and continued on at my own business.

Fragment: a pile of dirty dishes that I considered just throwing out instead of doing


Notes: Ants are becoming a thing, as well as waterfalls.

Afternoon of August 20, 2018. Monday.

Reading time: 35 sec. Readability score: 70.



I am squatting near the edge of a pool and holding onto the tail of a barracuda in a Sea World setting. Only its front half is submerged. I know that if I let it go, it has the potential to swim around and bite me. That is not a certainty, but I am unsure what to do. My view is more as if I am watching myself from above and behind and there is no tangibility in this scene. My dream fades without incident.

---

I do not usually sleep (nap) at the time of 4:30 p.m.

The reactive representation stems from a more active mental state (barracuda) being incompatible with the lesser level of melatonin (water). My semi-lucid self is aware of this and what it implies. I do not have the biological need to enter deeper sleep at the time, so I liminally create an impasse scenario.

---

This morning I dreamt that there were freaky storms and tornados going over my house.
It all started when I looked out the window in the living room due to the loud noises outside. I saw that pretty much the whole street except the buildings were flying in a linear matter right , there was a rainstorm and the wind was so strong that we panicked that this is the end for us. It was surreal, things went flying in a linear manner , not like in a real storm where things fall apart and fly everywhere, it was weird, and scary.
Then we went out at a point , now there was no wind no storm, things were a bit damaged around me but it didnt seem to be a full on annihilation of the street. Then I started to hear the noises again, it was tornados. one touched down nearby so fast and then passed by us so fast it gave out a machinery sound. Then another came and another came, I almost got caught up in one.

Who's the father?

I tried to collect as many different flowers as possible. It was some sort of a competition and many people were there to brag about how big and beautiful their bouquets were. I did have the biggest tho even if I held a baby in my arms I could still be the very best. It was just… I couldn’t figure out who was the father of my child. I was supposed to get a flower from the guy and I had two options. Darren Criss or Byun Baekhyun.
I went home to Darren’s place and entered the building. But he wasn’t there and it was really dark since the lights were not on. I couldn’t find any flower in there either which kind of made me disappointed. Before walking to Baekhyun’s home I was passing by a bar. I went in there and had a look. Darren was sitting at a table drinking beer. A few tables away I saw a vase with a beautiful white flower with a note saying: “For my one true love.”
I took it with me, smiled at Darren that hadn’t noticed me and walked home. The other girls that were competing were really jealous of my lovely flower that I had received. Later Darren came by and was really surprised by the flower. He didn’t know anything about it. He said that he wanted to bring a flower but he seemed to forgot about it. I glanced down on my baby and realized it looked like a watch. Like the time was running out.

There was another dream but I only remember taking the flight home from Italy to get my creditcard and then fly back again. Just so I could return to Sweden the day after with my luggage. The trip was really stressful and very unnecessary.

Morning of January 1, 2018. Monday.

Reading time: 1 min 28 sec. Readability score: 61.



I find myself in an unfamiliar, unknown movie theater where most of the audience is wearing 3-D glasses, though I am not wearing any. I see no one I recognize. In the movie, two serpentine dragons face each other, each of them unwilling to either move aside or to strike at the other. Eventually, I do not discern any movement on the movie screen. I think about leaving, as I consider this still scene will last about 2 hours, which will be an unreasonable waste of time. From the middle of the row in about the fourth row back, I get up and walk to the left to another area, ending up behind the movie screen in what looks like the inside of a warehouse. I perceive it as “my” bedroom. The mattress is worn and has no sheet. The headboard has horizontal wooden planks that are in a slightly irregular arrangement. Bette Davis comes in and asks me if I know where her husband is and rolls her eyes at me, also quickly glancing left and right, and walks away before I say anything. Puzzled, I slowly wake.

---

This dream occurred because:

My infra-self, having been satiated in previous dream sequences of apex lucidity, chooses to remain passive and non-lucid for a time, and so my dream space becomes a movie theater where I only watch. By not wearing 3-D glasses as most of the other patrons are, I am subliminally declining the potential for realism as well. (The movie is part of “Dragon Wars” from 2007.) However, RAS activity eventually pauses by way of emerging infra-control from subliminal intent. From here, subliminal awareness of being asleep in bed increases to passive liminality and I enter the warehouse area, which represents the temporary storage of transitory ideas that occur in REM sleep. I subliminally summon Bette Davis as the dream’s preconscious avatar as an influence from the song “Bette Davis Eyes” as an association with REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep. She is not “looking for her husband” but seeks to initiate my waking-life identity (which is what RAS mediation is). Aware that the bed “behind” me is the bed I am already in, in sleep, I wake.

---

So
When this one begins my mom tells me to walk over to our Neighbor Ali's house and toss some of our garbage in his can. For whatever reason, we can't throw away our garbage at our own house, so we made this agreement with him. Anyways, I walk on over to Ali's house and enter through the side door without ringing the doorbell

When I enter the house Ali and his family are all watching a movie in the living room, but I pass by them without acknowledging them, thinking that I can come and go whenever I want without question. However, just as I walk into the other room towards the trash can, Ali's Father says, "Josh [my name] is that you? Come in here", beckoning me to the family room. He and Ali's mother put the movie on pause and scold me for just walking in the house, saying that even though we have an agreement I still have to knock. They're pretty pissed off at me, almost disgusted, so I apologize many times, dump my trash on the way out and leave feeling like a fool. The feeling sucks, and I vow never to screw up like that again with them. But then I realize something; I have no clothes on.
Sidenote: weird, this is my second "naked dream" in a row

I have no idea why, but I figure that I must have taken them off inside without thinking. And since I didn't want to do anything else to disturb Ali's family, I decided to take off running down the street to my house. Above me was a dark night sky, so I doubt anyone saw me. It wouldn't have mattered though, because halfway down the street I ran into my brother. I explained my current situation and told him that I told him that there was no time to talk. He leaned in closer to get a good look at me before saying, "What? You're not naked." I looked down at myself, only to realize that he was right; all my clothes were still on.

Since I was definitely full clothed, my Brother and I met up with some of the neighborhood fellas to play a game that involved jumping over rock walls. The game led us to a house on the street that the kids had no problem approaching, so I followed. In the driveway was a silver Les Paul style guitar, and since I'm a guitar player I picked the thing up and started strumming a few chords. But before long, the owner of the house, a ~30 year old woman with two kids, walked outside and yelled at me. She said that she didn't let white people touch her guitar and it was for mexicans only, and made me give it back to her. This seemed odd though, since this woman looked and sounded quite white and not hispanic at all to me. However, just before I could hand her the guitar, I dropped it, leaving a huge dent in the bottom of it. She didn't seem to notice though, so I quickly headed home and off to bed.

In the morning I woke up thinking about how silly the whole "mexicans only guitar" thing was, and scoffed a few times before looking in the mirror. When I did look in the mirror, I saw that I had long hair down to my shpulders. Apparently it had grew 7 inched in one night. I looked at myself for a long while before deciding that I really liked how it looked, and went to show my mom and brother. They both seemed to like it as well. Then I remember thinking to myself, "Hold on, this is silly. I have short hair in real life and there's no way it grew this long by now. This must be a dream." From there, I set my mind on waking up. Everything went hazy, and exactly that happened; I woke up, ending the dream.

This is the most important part of this post. Very often I have these moments of realization that should lead to a DILD, but I always end up thinking that I have to wake up, even though I could just stay lucid if I wanted to. If I can change this, I know I'll have many, many more LDs. So, next time I have a moment of realization like this, Instead of forcing myself to wake up I'm going to immerse myself in the dream world and carry on with the dream, the only difference being that I'll be at the reigns.

Morning of August 19, 2018. Sunday.

Dream #: 18,871-03. Optimized 30 second read.




I am on the moon with at least two astronauts. (I do not interact with them.) I do not question the situation.

Eventually, there is an increasing wariness about the air becoming thinner. (It is otherwise fully breathable.) There is also the idea it may become too hot to survive. A NASA team is scheduled to come and get us before all our air runs out, but I wonder if it will be in time. There is a vague concern but no emotional response.

The moon setting has the essence of the Cubitis home's backyard, where the shed was. (This had happened in previous dreams, mostly in childhood.)

---

My dream was mainly caused by having too many blankets on me as I slept. I became overheated.

---

Morning of August 19, 2018. Sunday.

Reading time: 2 min 39 sec. Readability score: 55.



In my dream, I am walking through an unknown neighborhood at night. My dream self believes I am in America (even though I currently live in Australia). I have a false memory that I am supposed to go to a radio station to work as an announcer as well as perform live music on the air. At least two of my older brothers, Dennis and Jim, are already supposedly there. (In real life, Dennis is still alive, but Jim is deceased.)

When I reach the building, it is mostly unlit. There seems to be activity inside at first. Over time, I become very annoyed, because it is presently only serving as a relay station rather than a radio broadcasting station. I hear loud voices from inside that sound like my brothers, but the broadcast is on loudspeakers inside, and from an unknown location. I walk around the building, and a few unknown residents tell me the station is closed, and that no one is there. I still yell near the building in case anyone is there. All of the doors are locked. I am very annoyed.

Looking at the street from the front of the building, I see a police car arrive. The police are probably here to tell me to leave and to stop yelling. However, my infra-awareness shifts to where I non-lucidly transform the vehicle into a white semi-truck without a trailer. The preconscious avatar, still in a precursory mutable form, changes from a male police officer into the semi-truck driver. The cab is tipping forward, and he seems to be working on the engine. He does not look in my direction.

Soon, preconscious dynamics shift into a more dominant form for the waking process. An unknown woman opens the front door of her house, becoming the emerging consciousness factor (in the usual doorway waking autosymbolism). When I tell her of my situation, she looks at me and says that my Australian accent sounds unusual. I am annoyed by her comment and tell her that it is not an Australian accent as I am American. That triggers awareness of my conscious self and dissolves my fictitious dream self’s identity, which causes me to wake (rather than to become lucid).

---

What is a relay station in the brain? The thalamus is the deep-seated part of the brain that relays incoming sensory information. The brain’s outer cerebral cortex coordinates responses to this input.

The most important process of a dream is to bring about awareness of the conscious self as preparatory to waking (or in contrast, becoming lucid while remaining asleep). People who are “against” lucid dreaming because of misconceptions about control do not seem to understand that lucidity and dream control are separate factors. (The preconscious distorts threads of the unconscious with synaptic gating, to prevent false memory. In other words, the non-lucid dream self does not even have viable access to the unconscious mind, revealing that the theory that dreams are related to memory processing is asinine. For me, infra-control, or non-lucid dream control, often brings about full conscious awareness, but lucidity is not required to control a dream and people who make this claim have no credibility. To quote Stephen LaBerge, “Lucidity is not synonymous with dream control. It is possible to be lucid and have little control over dream content, and conversely, to have a great deal of control without being explicitly aware that you are dreaming.”)

Although I did not become lucid here, while threads of my conscious self were temporarily locked (the closed relay station), I still controlled my dream’s autosymbolism in non-lucidity by changing the potentially annoying police scenario into a non-event (which did not trigger viable lucidity). The man working on the engine is an analogy to becoming more aware, both physically and mentally. RAS modulation commenced, but with a less annoying context. A door did eventually open, to remind me of who I am, and that is the subliminal, liminal, or lucid quest of the dreamer.

---

When I removed myself from my body I found that I'm at my parents house. It was night. My spiritual body was black... I concentrated on my arms... It was beautiful in its own way. Very detailed. On surface it was refracting the light like on tiny diamonds here and there. And after longer observation I saw dark violet aura surrounding me.
First thing I did was calling for my soulmate in the case she is close. Astral zombie of my brother woke up at that point and told me disapprovingly that I should stop to try contact and meet her. He said something like she doesn't deserve my help. And then went back into astral zombie state. Outside of parent house, the snow was falling slowly. I knew that it is summer in reality but I had no capacity to be surprised. So I took flight to her home. As usually I got lost but I managed to retrace my travel and make it back to known surrounding. I repeated this 3 times after I got lost again and again. Pity, I didn't manage to reach her house as last time the redirection was at the same place as return point and I wasn't able to go any closer.
So I turned my eyes on sky. I tried to find the moon, but it wasn't on sky anymore. Therefore, I looked on stars... And I decided to fly to the stars instead. It took some concentration to make it happen and I started to magnify (and fly) to particular shining star. But the star vanished- did I overfly it? I looked behind. I was in space surrounded by myriads of stars, submerged in bluish and reddish nebulae. For a few minutes I tried to find course which I should take. Accelerating randomly in a random vectors to random parts of space. Or at least I thought that I'm accelerating. But my surrounding wasn't changing visibly.
So I stopped and concentrated on stars instead. After short time some stars started to shone more strongly appearing larger than shining dust particles. I took flight to them. And I overshot greatly... when I stopped the flight I was far in the intergalactic space. I didn't even know which direction was milky way. All the galaxies... and not one looked familiar- not that I have memorized shapes and coordinates of galaxies... or stars for that case. So I stopped. And stayed there.


Remarks
- I think I have subconscious block to contact my soulmate- I had discussion with a few people about shared experiences and they think that something like meeting, or waking someone in LD or OBE isn't moral thing to do. That I'm interfering with peoples privacy LOL. Funny opinion, still maybe it lingers now in my subconsciousness since I thought about it for some time.
-I looked in the table now- The moon was setting down at 23:15 and I traveled at about 1:30 at night. Still this isn't good enough proof of reality Maybe I knew that subconsciously, because at around 21:00 the moon was at approximately SWW position.

Morning of August 19, 2018. Sunday.

Reading time: 1 min 21 sec. Readability score: 49.



In my dream, my family and I as we appear now are living back on Barolin Street (though the house is no longer there in reality and our youngest daughter never lived there). It seems to be late morning. She is looking out into the front yard.

A white plastic bucket (contents unknown, if any) rises from the ground in about the center of the front yard and hovers in the air to about five feet and floats slowly from north to south. The scene resets and repeats several times. I think that an invisible whirlwind is causing it. It does not pose a threat, and my daughter sees it as a joyful event.

---

It is not a tornado dream, but it is a basis for the ultradian rhythm process (in addition to VSC). Tornadoes stem from a specific type of vestibular system correlation at the peak of ultradian rhythm. Even so, I have often controlled their manifestation and direction in both non-lucidity and lucidity.

Here, my infra-awareness (with non-lucid dream control) mediates the event as being cheerful and soft. It represents ultradian rhythm being less dominant in the projected contemplation of my illusory fictitious dream body, also affected by the level of natural melatonin. The white bucket likely represents a specific measurement of it. From a biological standpoint, water and how it occurs in dreams is autosymbolism for the level and dynamics of sleep and levels of melatonin. I have “water symbolizing sleep” as appearing 350 times in my main online journal (though water induction/melatonin begins all sleep cycles). As I have written often, dream “symbolism” is not symbolism in the conventional sense, as it is not even viable in non-lucidity despite popular misconception.

The association, although I never take medication as such, probably stems from the following extract: “When it’s nighttime and melatonin levels are high,” says Dr. Wurtman, “taking melatonin supplements is like putting a drop of water into an empty bucket; when it’s daytime, it’s like putting a drop of water into a full bucket.”

---

+ beach, strong tide, watching the water as it recedes back, it moves very quickly, nice clear sandy spot, think this is a good beach to visit, "hey let's get nude" (to girl on area up above beach), she doesn't want to, I tease her about this

+ burgers: first double burger was great, beef nicely well done how I like it, second burger I chose a single cheese burger, but it was too raw. Looking at the meat while eating it. Very thin patties. I definitely felt the burger taste while eating it.

+ theater, looking for seats, they're quickly filling up, trying to find one with a good position for the screen, the seat rows are at odd angles, once I sit an reserve space for my friends, a guy asks if a seat was taken, both I and the guy next to me (stranger) says yes it is, discussion of orchestras with the strangers sitting to my right and in front of me, I state "I play the <my instrument>", it takes me a little effort but I recall correctly the name of the last community orchestra I played in.

+ zooming down hill (bike? car) trying to turn left at intersection but going too fast. Miss first intersection, and also can't make the 2nd one.

+ discussion of wine, can't remember the name of the wine

+ Sitting in group of friends, see KH (childhood neighborhood crush), think she's beautiful but maybe not very nice

+ more, forgot...

Once again, I was in a city environment and I could hover and fly. I think my dad was there too. He didn't appear too surprised. Anyway, once again I was embarrassing myself by endlessly showing off for strangers. Going straight up was a little hard as usual. I got up to the top of the city's cathedral and jumped off of it, which was a lot easier.

Non-dream stuff - only a small non-lucid fragment, as I didn't wake early enough to keep track of dreams properly.

---

Dream fragment:
I remember being at a dining table, with my parents and my partner. We were having something typical; peeled boiled potatoes with salmon or pollock. My partner was actually eating some of it, despite not enjoying fish in reality.

I asked to be passed the olive oil, to pour on my potatoes, and my partner made some comment about the fact that it was my the first time eating this kind of meal, which in the dream I thought it was a really odd comment, since I'd eaten this with my parents many times before.

Don't really remember much else apart from the fact that the dining room was not like any I know, and was quite large, with the table at the centre. There was a lamp that was on, above the table. The room seemed well lit but I have the impression it would be night outside.

---

One loving girlfriend and a violent boyfriend

I had been pretending being a guy and been dressing up as one... and the girl that was my girlfriend found out. She was deeply upset, throwing out all my clothes from my car. Then she looked at me and stopped. I stared at her as well. She then sat in the front seat and told me that she kind of wanted me to still be that guy. That we could pretend like nothing happened. I really liked her, so I agreed and that's how my real identity disappeared.
She told me she wanted to go to a specific destination and wanted me to take her there. I got into the car and suddenly we were in a building, she glanced at me and mimic: "Remember." There were other people and they all seemed interested in knowing me. I needed to remember who I had become to be able to be with her, my love.

The people looked different with different clothes, hairstyles and some even had pointy ears. My girlfriend waved at me and told me that she wanted to show me something. As we walked out of that small room I noticed that everyone looked really odd, like elves. She wanted me to show people what love is and the only way I could figure out how was to throw petals from a balcony. Which was prohibited. Since the people took notice of this I kind of got myself into trouble. Suddenly my girlfriend and my best friend came to my rescue since they had been climbing up to the balcony just to find me before getting caught. I was hiding behind her skirt with the flower basket when she talked to the angry citizens. My best friend helped with the explaining and the obvious misunderstanding. But it seemed like it didn't help so I took my girlfriend's hand and ran away.
We were chased all the way home and outside a very tall muscular man were waiting. He wanted to hurt my girl so I went outside to meet him and told him off.
"I was the one who did it, I should be the one who gets the blame. I should be punished not her! So now leave!"
The man did as I told him.

Later I was sitting on a toilet out in the open with people walking by. It was kind of disturbing. But I didn’t have the time to really think about it because of the turmoil going on behind me. It was the same man trying to beat up his girlfriend, it seemed. I got up from the toilet seat and both kicked and punched him a several times. The wounded and scared girl ran away just briefly thanking me. I ended the fight with wiping my butt on his white t-shirt. Like a dog. Then I was too scared to show myself as a guy so I went somewhere else and quickly changed appearance. It didn’t take very long until that same man found me but this time he seemed kind of interested in me. He showed me around in a magical forest, there was a sick dragon desperate in need of help which he gladly took care of. He even had a dog that my dog liked and just everything about him was so different. When we came back I found a toilet and discovered that I had diarrhea but he didn’t seem to really care. He lifted me up and carried me away the a bedroom. I got the feeling that none of us actually wanted to do it really. I was just laying on the bed not trying to move and he was merely touching me. That bold man was now my boyfriend but I just didn’t really like that much. I was thinking about my old life with my girlfriend and realized that I missed her. I wanted her back.
I should never had let her go. My beautiful blonde girl.




Me and my girlfriend ^