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Aug 28 2018

I'm in my childhood church. On the altar there's some kind of human sacrifice of women going on. I remember also being around the sound booth (I was here a lot as a teenager). There are scenes in the youth room and parking lot as well, and they're all very dark, but I can't remember what was happening.

I'm in college again, but my curriculum is changing. I'll have to take a lot of advanced math classes I didn't have to take before. I'm really concerned but my fiance is trying to convince me it'll be easy, she starts drawing squiggles with her pencil on some paper in some sort of parallelogram (squiggles all going out from one point or line). I consider changing my major to Psychology, but I'll have to start with Psych 113 (whatever that is).

Aug 29 2018

As I was falling asleep, I did progressive relaxation, thought about a couple of new mantras* to see which felt right, and then started meditating on my breath, focusing on the tip of my nose. After a while I realized my body was mostly paralyzed. I decided to make the most of it and try to WILD. When I first thought of this, I got some pretty in-depth HI and imagined visuals, very vivid. But after that I spooked myself or something, and I couldn't get it to the same level of vividness for the next thirty or so minutes. So I MILDed on one of my new mantras and eventually moved and broke the paralysis.

In the first dream I remember, I was driving around my WL car. It was hard to handle (like trying to legally drive a car in video games) and I kept bobbing and weaving and turning around. My viewpoint was shifting between first and third person. I was driving around a warped version of the city I live in, and ended up running some stops signs or red lights. At some point some cops pulled out of a parking lot and started following me, but didn't turn their lights on. I lost them and went to an interstate ramp, but I didn't want to get on the interstate for some reason, so I was stuck between the ramp and the exit (it was on the left, whereas they're usually on the right). I had to wait for the lanes to clear out so I could back up and get off the ramp -- quite stressful. I think this happened twice.

In the next dream, it felt like an FA although I don't think it was. My dog was in it, which is odd because although I see him all day (probably more than my fiance) I've only ever seen him in my dreams once. We're in a darkened bedroom/living room combination. I walk downstairs and we're talking about somewhere we need to go. I'm possibly worried about an intruder? Slight shift and I'm going outside, I open the door and my dog almost makes it out but I grab his hind leg and put him back inside. Before or after that I caught him eating some crumbs off the ground.

Scene shift again and I'm sitting on something or laying on the grass on the side of the house, looking up at the sky. I notice some lights in the sky, like heat lightning. Then (separately) I notice I can see lights on the clouds, and realize they're coming from my phone! Even with dream logic I'm amazed that my light can travel so far to the clouds from my phone (I recall a similar experience from my childhood with a high-powered search flashlight). I try to shine the phone's light on a tree that's hangning overhead, and I see the patterns of the leaves on the clouds above! I also notice 2 moons, then 3, some redder or foggier than others, but mostly the same size. I wouldn't call it semi-lucid, but I was seriously questioning the world. I think I should try to add looking at the sky to my dream routine, since most of the time I'm looking at the ground or my immediate surroundings, and seeing these inconsistencies may help with getting lucid.

In the next dream I'm in a fitness center or some similar place. I'm sitting or laying down in these lanes, aiming my feet to sort of louge through the lanes. This is coupled with a video game-like view with arrows showing which direction I should go. At some point I turn around and lie prone, trying to go backwards, but my feet are dragging so I have to manually push myself. I'm sort of in a cobra pose with my back underneath this large pullup bar type thing (black metal wrapped in foam). Eventually I reach the end with a lobby or something similar (carpeted, reminds me of a Chuck E Cheese). I see someone I went to school with who I didn't really know, and I'm sort of embarassed. I say something stupid like "I'm having a Shiatsu massage**". She responds with something nice but is clearly weirded out.

The dream shifts again and I'm in some kind of locker room. Another less-than-acquaintance from HS is there and is trying to convince the coach that he should recognize/remember him. He kept saying "I'm Double-D! Don't you remember me?" and the coach humiliated him. I think my dog may have been eating crumbs off the floor here too.



*"I am a master/natural at lucid dreaming" - meh; "I look at my hands and realize I am dreaming" - solid; "I calmly take control of the world I've created" - good for focusing on stabilization, but it's a mouthful.

**Of course I pronounced "massage" the british way, probably because I just watched S1E3 of Black Books, "Grapes of Wrath", which is arguably the best episode of anything ever.

Log 1217 - CCS Conversion Flying Sabotage and Old Job Memo Scraps
Created Tuesday 28 August 2018

Just got more fragments today.

Scrap Group 1
Playing Liberal Crime Squad. I had a team of "enlightened" CCS Officers go out to kidnap skilled unfriendlies.

Flying over swampland during a bright blue day. Later, I go into an office building located in a derelict area. I sneak inside, then discreetly made trouble (sabotaging equipment, I think). Got spotted eventually, so I ran off, and took off to the sky. Cut to an urban area at night time. I was exiting an apartment building, when a woman wearing a blouse and jeans started chasing me. Pretty sure she was upset of my above vandalism. Again, I flew off, only to find she could take flight as well, and at much better acceleration than I. She got very close to catching me, had I not blasted off in the last second. I then ended up in that swamp again at day time.

At home. I get a booklet from the mail, documents pertaining to my old job.

Many of us are on yellow school buses, being evacuated. I'm helping to direct people onto buses. We stop, and decide we should send someone on a nearby hill which was blocking our view, to alert us if any danger is coming. Since we saw some "people" earlier, which I had a feeling were zombie like.

Before we get to the hill, I notice a huge storm like looking, very dark cloud, rolling in our direction. I zoom in and I see many small swirls and parts of the cloud how it's moving. We yell at everybody that we need to get on the buses again and move out.

The toxic cloud is already there, I see it as a fog, but don't feel any bad effects. I'm yelling at a driver to go faster, and he jokingly replies that if he could, he would.

We meander between many other vehicles, some of them moving slowly or already stalled in the traffic and abandoned. Lot's of people on foot. The yellow color of our buses is very prominent in my mind.

We get to some town and are between buildings. I hear a huge noise and right where we were suppose to go through, a building falls, hit by something. We go on foot, and more on the bus.

I am at a Dead and Company show with Dad and one other guy, probably a family friend. The venue is on a grassy and sandy slope down to the ocean. Down towards the bottom of the slope, I can see the off-white top of the tent (kind of like Shoreline) in which they’re playing. Most of it is hidden by the incline. At times, I can see the band, but it is intermittent for whatever reason. There are also waves breaking that make their way up the slope and I think into the tent. I end up briefly talking with someone I know, before making my way down the slope. The band has started, and I dance as I walk. I think a few people look at me, but they are smiling. I’m by the tent now, and it looks more like a small seaside bar or café. You can walk right into it. Some people are doing just that, but they’re getting kicked out, as they are too close to the band or too much of a nuisance. The atmosphere other than that is very laid back. The band, in a single small room, laughs and chats while tuning up between songs. I think the drum kit is in a room separate but still connected to the other. Bill Kreutzmann is here, but he is just hanging out while another, older man plays the drums. It seems to me that Bill is unable to play tonight for whatever reason. I start talking with this other drummer, but it ends up being me talking to Bill, with him either on the drums or right by them. For a moment, I’m self conscious of taking up time if they’re playing music, but they’re taking a while between songs anyway. I ask Bill, prefacing the question with me knowing that it sounds like a typical fan thing to stay, how he would feel about playing Liberty. I am self conscious of my voice as I am speaking. He looks as if he’s really thinking about it. I mention how it would be fitting since it’s so close to the 4th of July. I also wonder if they’d play it mid-set or for the encore. Bill says he’s not sure, because he never really got the pace of the song and his playing was never really coherent on it. I think of versions I’ve heard and guess I could see it. He tells me that’s why they started playing [something with a longer name] in ‘94 and ‘95. This song is, I think, similar to Liberty in tempo and lyrical theme. I nod, thinking of my notes of shows, not sure I’ve ever actually heard it. I think he sees the uncertainty in my nod and briefly wonder if he’s thinking that I’m not that versed in the music, but I know I’ve listened to a fair amount of their shows in that era. (Whatever the name of the song was, it’s not an actual song they’ve done).

I am somewhere outside with two familiar others (they feel familiar to me in the dream, though I’m not sure who they really are). The area seems to be dry, open and flat, and desolate. Two cars are parked right next to each other, and there is a man beside one of them (I want to say he looks like the guy with dark hair from Jurassic Park - I look him up right now and confirm I’m thinking of Jeff Goldblum, also thinking that I saw a picture of a man that looks like him yesterday). We are behind this other car and for some reason engaged in a gunfight with this man. I think I have the only other pistol - the other being his. I’ve shot a few rounds towards him, when the slider automatically locks itself in a cocked position, exposing the shiny silver barrel and pronouncing itself out of ammunition. I start to fear, until one of the others tosses me a single bullet. This reinvigorates me, and with certainty I proclaim “I’m going to kill him.” I raise up after loading and I think I only hit him in the leg. He ends up running away. We end up tracking him down to a house. We are in a cul-de-sac, though a fairly long one (with maybe 10 houses). It and its average looking suburban houses seem proportionate but subtly colossal. It is dim, as if twilight. I go to the other side of the street and try to conceal myself somewhat up against a house in which it seems there is nobody home. There is, however, a white truck backed into the driveway. The shadows here make it seem even darker out. I know that what will ensue will be a fight to the death, and I’m apprehensive and maybe slightly fearful. I imagine someone with a sword fighting me with the intent to kill, and the reality of that makes me uneasy. We know that a house on this street is unlocked, and that he’s sitting in it, waiting for us. From on the dirt, I grab some kind of trowel shaped tool with an edge on it, as well as something else that can be utilized as a weapon. Now, the others are up ahead and they’ve opened the front door. There’s a small stone terrace with 2 stone pillars, past which light from the inside is illuminating the others. They are, with swords, fighting an onslaught of what I can only describe as goblin-like creatures. I think the others are one male and one female. One stands by the door and aims to slice the creatures’ necks, while the other stands at the bottom of the few steps, finishing them off. They have created a substantial pile of bodies. I attack a few that escape the others.

I appear to be in a house and my brother shows up. He says he would like to see the new s9+ phone I got a few days ago. I show him and he and I began talking about it and it's features. Eventually I notice my brother get tired and started laying on the floor which is something he does often. I notice from the window that it was dim sunny outside. I become lucid once I started walking to the front door.

I open it and took a nice breath of fresh air. And began walking more while observing my environment. I notice the house was by itself with in a huge land of short trim grass and a few trails. I notice a playground connected to the left end of the house with a wire fence. I continue walking, looking up to the sky wondering about stuff. Then I decided I wanted to see my cousin as I could sense she was around and knew today was her birthday. I retrace my path back to the house and continue going a little bit to the opposite direction.

I then notice her with a group of other older people. She was sitting down seeming to be talking. I greet her and ask her how is she doing and that it's good to see you. We greeted each other and I lose my lucidity after the dream change to something else.

Morning of August 27, 2018. Monday.

Reading time: 1 min 31 sec. Readability score: 65.



I am in our bed at our present address. It seems to be morning, after sunrise. Zsuzsanna is sleeping on my left. The bed is in the correct location. There is light coming from both sides of the closed curtain at the head of our bed.

RAS mediation takes the typical form as an intrusion, though does not breach my dream self’s side of liminal space. (The avatar remains outside, near our window.)

Also atypical is that it seems to be serving the opposite purpose it usually does in the final dream of a sleep cycle, sleep reinduction rather than waking. The avatar takes the form of an unfamiliar animal rights activist. The backstory is that our neighbors to our west have several animals on their property, including a few wild animals. (In real life, there are no neighbors to our west as it is the street, but my dream self, despite most of my conscious self identity being present, does not discern this error.)

The avatar assumes that our house is part of our neighbor’s setup where the animals are. He wants to keep the animals calm by placing large blankets over cages and containers as well as blocking off the areas from each other.

I become annoyed when it seems he had covered at least the left side of our window with a large blanket and will probably go to the right side. Later, however, when I am awake, I see that the room is light and I realize I had been dreaming.

---

This dream (as well as another with a different plot) was unexpectedly precognitive (as they often are even when using typical components and autosymbolism), but only loosely. A worker showed up, illegally (without RTA notice) by the landlord to put in a high solid metal fence division to cut off our backyard from being accessed from our front yard, an incredibly stupid and dangerous idea (as it is even called “death trap” in some regions). No matter, I manually removed it without power tools as soon as the worker left.

I knew there was something different about this dream. The behavior of the avatar made no sense. It was discerning interconsciousness threads (with no way of me otherwise consciously knowing ahead of time what the plans were).

---

Had a dream where I went on a field trip to a Games Workshop, the store there was unusually big for other stores like it, and had multiple millitary uniforms scattered away in various cloakrooms, after getting lost and walking upstairs, I kept seeing promotional material for Warhammer: 1941, in which World War II was lengthened by around 211 years the invasion of an alien force, this gave rise to Power Armour, and the equivalent to Space Marines in the setting, their designs looked less futuristic and ornate in comparison to regular Space Marines. One Power Armor chapter, depicted by some of the employees of the shop, had bright pink armour, and an emblem of a smiling pig.

Created Monday 27 August 2018

One dream today.

Dream 1 - Silly Time Tampering

Scene 1 - Over-Rewarded For Charity
The visuals were slightly blurred. I was in an unknown apartment suite, its furniture and constructions mostly colored/painted white. Supposedly this was Helen's (a friend's mom's) place. Various of her friends were about, all of them lawyers, doctors, and of other renowned professions. They spoke of some charity drive they've started to help needy children overseas. When asked about that, I muttered some half-hearted condolences. This, somehow, was interpreted as my offering to donate $20 bucks. Woulda certainly look bad to back out, so I (reluctantly) parted with such money. Even so, Helen rewarded me with a $40+ gift card to a supermarket. Talk about being over-rewarded... Unknown transition.

Scene 2 - No Time To Be Late
Similar visuals. I was wandering around in a mall, or more likely a huge megastore complex. While crossing through a narrow hallway, I was accosted by a little girl, light skinned and with long black hair, and no older than 8 years of age. I figured she was the daughter of a (supposed) cousin or acquaintance. She was a real bossy type, outright demanding that I attend some pageant in which she was competing. Sure would be silly for a guy like me to get coerced by a child, only, that's exactly what happened...

Later, I entered a grocery area. Good reason as any to use that gift card above. While perusing something or other, I stumbled into a condiment shelf, causing a jar of mustard to tip over. Helen suddenly appeared, making a scene herself, as if trying to deflect attention away from the accident. Quite embarrassing for a bunch of reasons. So, I turned back time via holding my breath. The jar didn't break, though an employee did briefly turn up to investigate anyway.

Cut to my walking through the hallway again, where I remembered that I was late for the pageant. I rushed to a banquet hall, the place where the event was being hosted. But, I got there too late: the contest was over. Boy, was that girl bitter. I turned back time again, but not before floating up on a corner; wanted to avoid getting "time fragged" or somesuch.

Anyway, cut to the beginning of the pageant. This begins with all the contestants making a swimming display, the pool opening up out of nowhere. After that was a round of song and dance. Of course, as they were just kids, these were all amateurish performances at best. Quite boring.

Not sure how this ended.

Backstory: I ordered a dybbuk box from ebay, and also some free holy oil from a church that claims to have a bible that leaks the oil by itself. I am now only waiting the oil in the mail. Also day after I messaged Jamie for real after several years. Still haven't gotten any response.

Keyboards

I was in a giant antique looking store. There big sections, and I walked through a few until I realized it was a musical instrument shop. I immediately went to the keyboard section. I walked up to a funny looking soundboard from a keyboard and somehow pulled the keyboard to me and it almost crushed me. It seemed to be a piano with a retractable keyboard....

Dream skips to outside and Jamie is with me, but can't remember if she was in the shop with me. She was starting to tell me she played keyboard or currently plays it... something like that. I say something about what I like to play on the keyboard. She responds to what I am saying but her words get jumbled up. I ask her to repeat what she said. She starts again but she can't speak properly. I am realizing she is having one of those dreams where you have trouble speaking like I used to get. Then she vanishes as if she had woken up. I wake up soon after.

Inside a house.

As I'm drifting off I briefly enter a dream where Jamie is walking past me, we are in a living room with dark lighting.

Dybbuk

First I'm standing in a house. The dream had been going on for quite some time but I can't recall the details. I'm in front of a couch where Jamie is sitting and she is smiling at me. My dad is next to her and has his arm around her... I'm thinking why would she allow such a thing to happen? I conclude she is perhaps unaware of what is happening and has her attention solely focused on me.

Dream speeds up. I'm alone in the basement living room now and a dybbuk box opens by itself on the floor and a black and white picture of a boy standing in front of a house flies out of the box and onto a wall. Then a ghost boy emerges from the wall.

I fall into sleep paralysis right away and can feel a dark presence. I can't move anything right then but I'm not worried and I know how to get out of it. I focus on the dark presence trying to enter into me by spinning the vibrations faster and again I see the picture against the wall of the boy. I am unsure of what I am trying to accomplish here so I begin praying to Jesus to get me out of this state. For a few seconds I can't seem to move any limbs but then I break free and wake up


Oil

Dream of getting the oil that I ordered for free. Instead of being in a vial, which is what I expected. It was in a large Jar. I pondered what to use it for. People said it heals the sick cancer even. Some said it had even restored marriages, relationships and friendships. I suddenly had an idea of what to use it for.

Oil again

Dream I came home and my aunt had a package for me. It was the oil. She asked what it was for. I explained it to her and then I woke up
The only other dream i had was sex related and it was very intense.

Aug 27 2018

In my first dream I was in a compound of some sort with steel floors, walls, and ceilings. It reminded me of the early Fallout games. There were some doors with alternating red and green lights on them (stop and go, not Christmas). The ones with lights felt like they held danger behind them. There were some NPCs but none got too close and I think I could see grey status bars/informational popups when my vision hovered over them. There some connecting tunnels with walls that were like large fractured thin chitin or shell material. I kept having to go the back way through this facility so I would knock down the barriers, but each time I came back that way, they would regenerate and I'd have to knock them down again.

The next dream, I was in a bomb testing facility. My fiance, parents, and I (along with some anonymous coworker DCs) were standing atop a huge white metal ball-shaped plant. There was an "exhaust tube" a few feet away and each time the bombs would be detonated, a huge faux mushroom cloud would emerge. But it was as if the mushroom cloud itself was the bomb, rather than their being some actual explosion. I went third-person and showed myself leaning my face very close to the exhaust jet as another one exploded, and said "It's perfectly safe!" My third-person view changed and I was high up looking down on the clouds. They were wisping away sort of like those leaf tornados that spin up on the sidewalk sometimes. These wisps would carry on for a short while on the desert dunes.

Finally, I was in a large white building reminiscent of the fellowship hall at my childhood church, mixed with the middle school building at my old school. In the back there was a kitchen, going forward a connecting hallway, and through there was a huge white room. To the right there was a large open hallway, and all the rooms had high ceilings.

I'm sliding around on my socks through the different rooms on the white tile floors. I see one of my neighbors, and some girls from high school. They are all happy that L (fat girl from high school) was made prom queen. I suggest a toast with Nestle Drumstick ice cream cones. I think I toasted to "taking a bite before you toast".

A dying land...

I was going to check out a place but first I needed to go there by car and then switch to a cable railway. But on the way I was being chased by a dog. It tried to bite me, I told the car to go faster even thought it went a bit slow when going over the hills. The landscape looked like it was dead, all the plants, grass and trees all looked brown and boring. No leaves no nothing. I tried to push away the dog and told the car to go even faster and so it did. But soon there was a cat as well... and soon more animals to follow. When I came to the cable railway I met another person who told me that it was almost near impossible to go to another isle. I didn't listen and went anyway. Soon the cable railway was supposed to go into a tunnel but it was blocked with mud underneath a tree. I tried to dig my way in there but soon the animals would appear and I panicked. I closed my eyes and was hoping I would wake up.



Unpopular foster kid

I was in a foster home with my sisters. There were other children as well. One of them mention an amusment park which of course my little sister wanted to go to as soon as she heard about it. Before checking my wallet I told her that we could go, she was really excited but I noticed that we didn't have enough money for us both. So half way there I turned back and asked for money but no one wanted to lend me so I entered the toilet. I was in there for quite some time before going out. When I walked out from the foster home I noticed it had gotten dark and I was no longer in need of sunglasses. On my way back to the other children, they came one by one and told me that I was way to late and it was my fault that they never got to the amusment park. My little sister cried and told me she hated me and she even refused to talk to me. She disappeared into the mists.



Famous Woman Killed

I was walking on a beach when people caught my attention. They were looking at the birds, holding there wings and trying to make them run away from. The ocean instead. I kept on walking and soon I found a ring. It was really pretty with blue stones on it. I put the ring in a blue high heeled shoe. Then I found a pink, green and so on rings and shoes that I did the same with. I soon realized that it was a crime scene. I found out that the woman was blonde because of the hair samples on the weapon and basically everywhere. There were also shoes and clothes of a man laying in the sand.
I figured that the woman and the man had a drink of wine because of the bottle laying in the sand. They had a quite romantic evening because of all the candles. It went wrong somewhere when the man, probably drunk, went all insane and killed her. But when I told my theory for the policeman he started to yell at me and threw the wineglass on me. Scared, I walked away and went to the victim’s house. She was a very famous woman and film director. She had made at least 30 movies were all women were strong and independent. She was truly loved by many women but hated by men. I searched through her house and found bees. I ran outside with the bees in a box and left them outside. Then I just ran away.

How to drive?

Needed to learn how to drive a car with a baby seat in it. So first I practiced with a bike but I needed that seat so I went to a doll store but couldn’t find one. Contuined walking around in that building and found an art gallery. Both my sisters were sitting there in a dark room with their iphones. I damaged a carpet before I started to rip off a piece of the wall. Underneath there was pictures of EXO. I even went to the blinds and so I could look outside the window. But even there on the window glass there were even more pictures. But when I saw a person outdoors I would let the blind slide down again.

Time to Join the Military

It was time for me to join the military like all the other women. All the men were already out in a War and soon we’d join them. But my mom was a bit sneaky and hided my uniform so I became late enough not the be able to cut off my hair. When I tried to find my uniform tho, I found a lot of toys and such that I played with when I was a kid.

The Shadow Court

I was walking in something that seemed like an abandoned graveyard in the middle of a forest. I felt drawn to an old looking house with many small windows. When I came closer to it, I noticed big shadow figures looking like a weird combination of many different animals. They seemed to talk to either other before they turned to look at me. I was being led to the door of the house. Before I opened the door I saw a note that was from Baekhyun, but I didn't have the time to read it since the shadows wanted me to go in. Inside they all showed me something really scary on the wall. They couldn't talk but instead they made a shadowplay. I remember that I glanced over to the windows and wanted to go outside but I was forced to be there since I was accused for something but I'm not sure for what reason.




Note: Baekhyun is a Kpop star, he is an EXO member.