Date of Dream: THU 8 NOV - 2018 Dream No. 477 - Paper Volt Clones I don’t remember much about this dream. From where I can remember, I was holding a small laminated paper figure of 18-Volt in my hands (WarioWare Gold Appearance). I didn’t do anything rough with him but the dream would make it so that his arms would get sliced and eventually break off. Every time this happened, I would render the current paper figure useless and take another one from the pile, with the same thing eventually happening, unfortunately. I can’t remember anything else about this dream. Dream No. 477 Dream Guide: None Lucid?: No
Date of Dream: WED 7 NOV - 2018 Dream No. 476 - Tricky Subconscious I don’t remember how the dream started. From where I do remember, I was at a completely unknown shopping centre in some obscure area. I do know that it had a large Target store there and also, most of the shops were just separate buildings all linking to an outside public area. For the first part, I was with my mum as I walked down the track to check out all the shops, just from the front, I didn’t really go into them. At a later stage of the dream, I was by myself. I called out for 18-Volt as I felt really tired and wanted to be carried. I noticed that as I was doing this though, that familiar sensation of the dream initiating a fade out on me. I noticed indeed and so I turned my attention to the sky and said in a somewhat threatening tone, “No! Stop!”, as if I was disciplining a child. Still, the sensation got stronger and so once again I said, “No! Stop!” and kept repeating this phrase for ages. Soon after though, I gave up and refrained from calling for 18-Volt in order to stay in the dream. What happened next was interesting, I could see myself in the dream (I was wearing my school summer dress)! I am assuming that it was actually now playing from 18-Volt’s perspective as this happened next; he didn’t speak at all: She was calling me but the dream was giving her some trouble. I came anyway. It was a long way back to the front car park and she had been walking for a while, so I think she wanted to be carried. Or does she just like my company? Anyway, I grabbed her as if to hug her, and just lifted her off the ground (he carried me the same way as in Dream 417 B). I don’t think I held her quite right as when we reached some odd looking steps, I had a hard time getting her over them. Something was definitely wrong as she felt heavy. I could have dropped her if I wasn’t careful. We were okay after the steps though. I carried her down the path quite quickly and then I left her. I can’t remember anything else about this dream. Dream No. 476 Dream Guide: 18-Volt Lucid?: No
Date of Dream: TUE 6 NOV - 2018 Dream No. 475 - No Guardian Allowed I don’t remember much about this dream. From where I do remember, I was at my primary school again, walking into my grade four classroom. The room was full of students and there parents and then there was the grade four teacher sitting in the middle of the line but she had some twisted look about her. We were talking about how everyone else had a parent or guardian with them but she said that I wasn’t allowed one. I tried to reason with her but she just sounded really nasty and declared that I wasn’t allowed one. One of the students, MT, then walked in from the sideline and said quietly that she had something to show me. I followed her into the side area and then she opened the door into a small room at the side of the building. In there was 18-Volt all by himself, sitting on a chair at the middle but back of the room (suggesting he was posing as my parent/guardian figure), thankfully, wearing his jacket and pants. As I walked over to him though, there was that tingling sensation, I was about to be threatened awake by the dream. So as bad as this sounds, I had to walk away from 18-Volt and when I returned to the classroom, I looked like I wanted to rip that teacher in half. That’s all I can remember about this dream. Dream No. 475 Dream Guide: None Lucid?: No
Thursday, February 4, 2016. There were guys in a former house that I lived in there to fix the air conditioning. They were taking apart the coolant pipes because something was clogging them maybe. There were other people living in the house though But they were off at their jobs at the time. Soon they were flushing the line. There is a huge amount of water hundreds of gallons that dual pushing through. [This is where it got interesting] Me and one of the repair guys that wasn't working watched while standing under a large tree. Then there was a flash of light. The fix-it guy was talking about the lines he was fixing and I said about the flash of light, "Did you see that?" He stopped talking and was like "what?" but said nothing. I said to him, "Was that lightning?" [As it turns out the flash of light was lightening in the waking world flashing through the window. The thunder of it woke me and probably everyone else in the town up.] The dream character didn’t seem to realize what I was talking about at all because in the dream it wasn’t raining or even cloudy and he didn’t see anything, he just gave a strong look like 'what are you talking about.' PS. First time posting in YEARS. This dream was taken from my personal dream journal in Word. I'll post some of the best dreams till I reach the present.
11-15 Dream: F and I are somewhere, she's acting very strange -- she was told that she's going to die? We go to a circular hole in the ground that goes deep down and has catacomb-like levels in its sides. In the top layers, I can see birds. There was a lot more to this dream but it's gone now. (...) I didn't write anything down for a few hours so I lost most of my dreams, initially I thought I remembered 2 other lucids/semi-lucids. It's a shame what a couple of hours can do to your dream recall. Dream: HS friend R and I are in house, become lucid, go upstairs and look at his computer in his bedroom, wake up. Notes: Attempted WILD a few times throughout the night, I don't think any of my lucids were achieved this way though. Will keep trying to WILD at least once a week for this new "WILD Wednesdays" habit I'm trying to make.
11-14 Dream: In courtyard in front of apartment. Out there with F. We have clothes, our keys, etc. all laid out over trees and tree branches. We just came back from somewhere/are going somehwere? ... I'm in the same place but farther back towards the parking lot (the dimensions have changed, there is a stone cove with a fire pit to the right of us, and we're facing a grassy field and our row of apartments ahead). F now looks like someone else, and a character representing her friend J is also present. We are folding up some (pool?) umbrellas, and as J folds the last umbrellas we can see through the mesh a family of bears right in front of us! Their ears are very strange, sort of like a cocker spaniel's ears but straight up and down. They look angry but we try to maneuver very slowly so that they don't attack -- very intense fear in the moment. They start to come forward then retreat back towards the apartment in the grass. I think at this point my character was dissolved and I was relegated to observer to the F and J avatars. I watched as they made a run for it, J started kicking one of them, who all of the sudden had those kickboxing targets strapped to his hands to catch her kicks? And then ran away leaving F standing there. In the dream, I was really anry at J for leaving F there with the bears. I think this expectation/intense emothion ocmbo made one of the bears strike out at F, and she dramatically fell down, which increased emotion. ... I'm on the sidewalk, my character has returned, I'm fighting with F (maybe J?) and she walks inside a sliding glass door (not ours) and I spit on a postcard (???) Dream: High school band/in theatre/band parents watching as band, kids, dance team perform a really bad routine to a song -- what song?/we raise our hands in a temple shape on cue in waves/everyone does it very poorly, Mr. D walks out/outside in hall/stairs talk to L Dream: White marble stairs/Din. Moby Dick and church discussion/T from loose drawing to rl/dom Dream: Blue juice/dad presents/appliance(?)/leftovers(indian or bbq ramen rice)/dogs and stitch bunny w/ nose fur Frag: Tubes challenge/tents?/fluid/miniature woman -- linked to above? Dream: Had an FA, then woke for real. Almost DEILD'd but really wanted to remember the previous dreams. Dream: (Conan) I'm in a squareish room with dim blue light. I'm naked and just received a large orange banner with some tribal-looking decorations and a bird design throughout. Had a conversation with myself about birds in designs (it's cheating?). The fabric is warm as I unfold it and inspect the design. I drape it around myself and feel it being very warm on my dream body (temperature in dreams - good development). There's a mirror across the way, so I drape the banner around me like a cape and start miming sword fighting like Conan the barbarian as depicted by Frank Frazetta. As I strike my arms out each time, I hit the fabric hard, because it's moving/flowing at a slower timescale than me. My stomach looked far too concave in the mirror, almost hollow, like a bad sculpture. Notes: I'm putting ... just to indicate that there was either a scene transition, or something did happen here and I just forgot it.
Morning of November 14, 2018. Wednesday. Dream #: 18,958-02. Reading time (optimized): 3 min. Readability score: 58. In a previous dream including my conscious self’s identity and to some extent in real life, I had been building a more extensive paradigm understructure for my online dream journal as a way to make it more idiot-proof, despite there being virtually no evidence that mainstream humanity has any understanding of the induction, dreaming, and waking processes. I had been focusing on “personifications of” while branching into more specific factors of vestibular system correlation, nexus simulacrums, and melatonin mediation. During this time, my dream self loses most of its present waking life identity while still holding a subliminal awareness of concurrent physicality and a minimal degree of lucid dream state awareness to where only a sliver of my conscious self’s identity remains extant; just enough to deliberately enter the role of another denizen to experiment with the dream space. The backstory of an upcoming wedding comes to the forefront. It is a transpersonal thread adjacent to the virtual foreshore. There is the sighting of an unknown groom of about twenty-five in my incorporeal glimpse. I possess the body of a man who is about eighty years old to sustain his role in attaining a sacred stick from a secret area for the unknown young groom (who remains in another part of town), maintaining faith that any other sentient presence in the dream space will not detect me as an imposter. The interconsciousness borrows pieces of a setting that I had not lived in real life for years, making sure it is incorrect in design so that it is not mistaken for having waking life relevance or the fallacy of symbolism that the unintelligent pursue. I am at an erroneous version of the Stadcor Street house in Brisbane. This version of the house has an enclosed wooden back porch, which expands over the area that the utility room was in real life (though the utility room was at ground level). Another male, unknown, about the age of the man whose body I possess, is with me, remaining on my left (dream attention orientation, as I sleep on my left side). I do not see the house as a place of significance, and my dream self only vaguely realizes that it is an illusory model of a place I had once lived. There is little of my conscious self identity that remains extant. We are to meet with a man who is over a hundred years old, known only as General. Another man who is about a hundred years old arrives first. The four of us briefly appraise each other. I marvel at how wrinkled their faces are. I nod to General, addressing him solely and lightly with “General.” He does not seem to suspect I am not the old man. I feel comfortable in my fictitious role. He had stepped from a back room of the house, perhaps the kitchen in assuming that this fake house was somewhat like the original. The other man had come in from outside. My dream self’s attention does not focus on the porch setting as the nexus within liminal space; that virtual bridge which I had entered thousands of times in previous dreams since early childhood. Despite “General” being a military association with the preconscious and interconsciousness simulacra, I do not anticipate dominance by their presence. We go out into the backyard. It seems to be late morning. I am holding a large irregular stick in my left hand. We all have walking sticks, but the groom’s sacred stick is just beyond the backyard in a cluster of trees. In reality, this would have been our neighbor’s backyard, which was divided from ours by a small fence. As I am walking, the other end of my stick, still being used with my left hand, somehow gets stuck between two small cages (the bottom of one and the top of the other). I am not sure if they contain any animals. A big cloth is covering them. It takes me a few minutes to pull it out. The man who had been with me, the first one, seems slightly annoyed and moves to help me, but the stick is already out. Liminal awareness had established that I was sleeping on my left arm in an uncomfortable position, which became a factor of my dream’s scenario, altering its potential. My dream self absentmindedly points this out, with the stick, where my essence is, beneath the cloth (bed sheet) and asleep, my waking self “caged” within the virtual lattice of physicality.
So many dreams about Turkey. Here is another one. I'm underground with some others. Going to a bridge. Come to a bridge base which is underground. I tell the other person, that some bridges allow you to climb and walk over the top of it, like the one in Sydney. This one had a steep incline and I was thinking we gonna slide off. But the surface was bumpy, and another person showed me how we are not going to slide down, when he slid down on purpose, but stopped by itself. We got up and others were already waiting. A simple wooden door. I knew Istanbul is behind it. The door opened and it was raining. I had a feeling that it was some kind of a portal, because where we were standing, we were not in Turkey. I asked others if any of them visited Istanbul before and few of them raised there hands. They agreed with me, how beautiful the city is, and I was happy I will be able to show the others, be their guide. As we crossed the door, it was night. I was telling them that when we get to a city square, there were be a soldier in ceremonial dress and he is super nice and friendly. There were other things we were going to look at.
A journey begins↘️ Woke 8am Wednesday 14-November-18↘️ In a full car driver male, two passengers and me There appears a litle chubby puppy Driver wants puppy out I pick up puppy Driver says " if it makes a mess it's out" Puppy then wriggles off my lap And had a big human size poop and wee Then begs to get on my lap again. The driver stops the car so puppy can get out I say Im staying with the puppy They let me out and they give me a long single handed trolly. And a small tarpaulin for puppy and me to be under in rainy weather. The car drives off and I am happy. A few nice things happen But I cross a road-bridge under which flows a kind of Thick, black, fast to medium flowing, river. Then still pushing this long single handed trolly It front of me It is night time now I see a man sprawled out on the other side of the road on the grass verge asleep (or dead) Next I peak over mt side of the grass verge And down a bit I see a spotlight and two Disney Cartoon characters. Porky Pig and a small character that I cant remember I follow a path to go and see them I lay out the things from the Trolly Because this seems a nice place to sleep (eod) I wake and its 8am Wednesday 14-Nov-18 Awake and I see the dream refers the the Zero card of the Tarot The Fool and the puppy about to go over a cliff (The Porky Pig and friend was in a spotlight below the road) I crossed over the river Styks befor I saw the cartoon charactersin the spotlight. The very long, single handled trolly represented the stick and handkerchief bundle tied to one end, over the Fools shoulder. I the Fool with my puppy dog have stepped off the cliff to be with the Disney cartoon charactors And are now fast asleep. What a dream Im doing a Jungian couse online We 6 months in. We are up to: The Collective Unconscious and Archetypes We already done the "Shadow" Maybe the puppy with the tiny, slightly brocken, human-looking teeth IS my shadow My and my shadow (2:21) https://youtu.be/i-4uKgXRnpI
Booby traps. ⚘Over and over again.⚘ I dont see any go off But he resets them I and others try to be carfull Woke at 11:11pm Wed 13/11/18 ↗️ https://youtu.be/VJmiIekAZXQ
Created Monday 12 November 2018 Got a DILD and some near-WILD REM Atonia states to note. Scrap Group 1 Repeated states of REM Atonia, so noted by the sensation and sound of violent winds bearing down on me. I tried imagining the cause. This increased windpower dramatically, but otherwise did nothing else. I tried rubbing my hands, but could feel nothing of the sort. I barely nudged myself off my bed, only for an unrelated interruption to awake me. Dream 1 - Sky-dal Wave The visuals were a bit blurred, but clarified over time. I was riding in a van or SUV during a bright day. Several family members were there, though I couldn't distinguish either of them. Noticed we were by a local plaza, where we then turned towards one of the nearby condo complexes. Suddenly, I was shunted to the front seat, facing back. While figuring out what was going on, I began imagining random things. Seeing images of such floating ahead of me finally convinced me of the dream. I climbed out the sunroof, then launched myself skyward. As I was some nearing clouds, I remembered to conjure a tidal wave as part of the TOTMs. A single stroke was all it took to do as much, the wave rising all the way to the heavens before it dropped out of view. I continued onwards, but noticed there wasn't any noise. Voicing sound effects fixed that in time. Just for the sake of thoroughness, I decided to repeat the task. So, after swooping down towards an ocean, I called for another wave. The tides violently took such a form, if smaller than I intended. I leaped over it, only to find a truly colossal wave was charging towards me, its roars deafening. I barely corkscrewed over its crescent to safety. Next in mind was the world-splitting task. I blasted off out of Earth's atmosphere in an instant. Unfortunately, before I had time to notice, the dream destabilized, then collapsed.
Updated 11-13-2018 at 04:22 AM by 89930
Non-lucid – Notes – lucid – Interpretation 2018-11-13 00:21 So to take charge on the dreamwork project with healing rejser I have decided to run it myself, though I feel somewhat tired. I don’t know where to start. It feels as if identification with psychological self is falling away. Over the past couple of days I have experienced that with every thought arise a history, a narrative a person-in-potentia. It is falling away and I realise myself to be infinitely broader than whatever thought, feeling or sensation that arise, yet I am also Dennis, an embodied, carnal and emotional being just the same. I have experienced anger towards Cecilie culminating in an experience of being hurt. Simply hurt. The numbness and stupididty I felt when realising that is all I had been fighting to feel, all my anger towards her was trying to repress and what the suicidality was an expression of left me giggling, free and confused. Speaking off. There has been much confusion. Mainly as I have found little to be ecstatic or happy about, no mission nor direction. Thus meaninglessness and confusion. When I felt the hurt with regard Cecilie I started crying and placed myself down on a carpet. I saw myself a fetus in the womb of my mother and it felt as if I sent a team of light beings, angels to remind the fetus in the past that it was forever loved, before I took it and placed it firmly in my chest, now giving it love from myself to myself. I want to try out permaculture, more embodied, more giving a shit about my daily life and the planet on which it occurs. No longer a saviour project (attachmentto the recognition associated with such an endeavour), but simply because I miss trying out more contact with nature in a responsible way, the way of a custodian. I have felt curiosity about people. Like genuine curiosity, notable due the absence of trying to bring the conversation around to be about me. Either in terms of “I have tried something similar, when...” or “I totally get that, maybe you should look at it like… to….” or simply to demonstrate cleverness a hungry and hurt yearning for recognition, a desperation for fulfilling a hole that was futile from the beginning. I have seen the source, understood the principles by which the conditioning arose and battled myself to eternity to cling on to it, but it is faltering. I have experienced the depths of despair, isolation and loneliness driving my thoughts into suicidal contemplation ever so more specific and concrete, to the point that I just 2 days ago considered writing my departure letter as a way of examining why I was thinking about quitting it all. This pain has driven me through profound anger at my heart, my soul and God. I have been piss fucking irritated at my soul and God for not really appreciating the nature of a mortal being and selfishly deciding to put a poor human being, and not only me, through whatever hurts simply so they can learn a lesson or two from an immortal perspective. Funnily enough this anger was followed by what seemed a remark from Raphael “you have a point you know”. I have been angry at my heart as I thought that was a spot in which I was supposed to find rest, but the more I dive in the more it screams “BRING ME YOUR SUFFERING” as it spreads out tentacles digging up collective emotional bull shit that is lingering below the surface and causing all sorts of havoc, wanting to feel it so it can be released. What a dick that heart of mine! In my moments of darkness the room has literally seemed to go black and a voice have whispered “Well if you don’t need that soul...”. I guess if you open for angels, you open for all of them. Yet then in meditation the whispers of Ganesh have imparted me teachings of regulating attention. It has shown me how desire with attachment to outcomes becomes a strong, single pointed focus – just as you would practice in meditation. The problem is you then manifest it. I have seen how I have been manifesting pain and suffering relentlessly. All of this. All of this pain have left me severely questioning the wisdom of Ayahuasca. It seems that whenever I engage my desire for something simple, something human – love, connection and sex – I am denied. To the point where it has brought me into the realms of psychiatry, as it seems the plants are unwilling to help and assist with my predicaments and I now am scheduled to have a psychiatric evaluation carried out – do what you fear ey? It goes further than that. Here I sit on the night where I have finally broken my resistance towards promoting myself. The pattern that obscured my actioning was seen, and understood in its complex simplicity. When an urge to create and claim a slice of life for myself arise, in the concrete manifestation of simply promoting myself, a thought arise in response. “The world is already enlightened, you are no longer needed” - typically this would occur in interpretation towards an article read, a sentence uttered or something similar. In effect it would serve enough of a distraction to keep me from doing what I intended. Then when I engage with life and start seeing evidence to the contrary that maybe there are people out there suffering, someone I could assist a replacement thought would pop up, typically identified through some sort of inspirational video, article, cartoon or similar: “Well there are plenty of people out there much better than you, more suited to take up the task”. Then more examples would follow that would indicate that maybe you know I could be of service to some at which point the voice would turn distinctly sinister “Well Dennis you are a shitty human being, look at all of this shit you can’t figure out about life, you are not fit to help anyone”. Which would then initiate a period of intense suicidality, self-absorbed victimhood and suffering. This pattern has been at times lasted weeks, if not months. But after I verbalised it to a good friend yesterday I have seen it manifest and resolve within the space of an hour, though the suicidality and “terrible human being” bit got channelled into actually getting a marketing post written. My biggest fear is a funny one. I am actually afraid that upon resolving this inner conviction that I am not worthy of life, that I have no function to fulfil (it is tricky dedicating your life to helping people out of suffering, if all the world is already there just waiting for me to resolve my own bull shit so we can move on) that the enlightenment of the world will ensue. I would thus manifest my deepest fear, a self-fulfilling prophecy. There is a lot of quirky stuff going on in my head (and oh my god don’t get me started on the bodily stuff), transformations and shifts in perspective are occurring at a rate I am so not accustomed to. I guess an apt analogy is that I have been thrown into a maelstrom in the middle of an infinite sea during a thunderstorm and am now learning to swim in these waters, slowly getting the hang of it. But there is a fierce willingness also arising. A willingness to experience more. Despite the intensity I want more from life. I can guarantee very little at present. The main thing I can say for sure is that I refuse to listen to the belittling voice within. I have empathy and compassion for why it arose. But I refuse to be worthless any longer.
2 night ago I had an awesome dream. I was looking at some papers which I just finished writing on. I knew I was remote writing. They were at least 3 distinct styles and types of writing. One looked like a letter, with beautiful handwriting, small, slanted to the right letters. All uniform, same size, cursive. Another one looked like a page from an encyclopedia. With serif typeface that was printed, rather than hand written. It was complete with images, and description of images.Topic was something about languages or grammar. I saw the name of a male author, which I didn't recognize. Last one was a page with beautiful drawings I recognized as chinese style, but they were distinct. Golden and black inn color. It was maybe animals. Last night: I was with a group, on our last day of a trip to Azerbaijan. We were deciding if we want to stay at the resort, where I just discovered a spectacular looking beach. I was taking pictures of it with my iphone. Or, if we want to spend last day in the town to shop for souvenirs, and be closer to mode of transportation which will take us from there.
11-12 Note: These are out of order and I'm missing a few, I didn't have amazing recall last night because of my dog moving me into strange positions and almost kicking me off the bed as the night went on. Another strange thing I noticed was no mention of 9 in any of the dreams I remembered, and instead the almost constant presence of this mountaintop room. Dream: FA in dark room, extended version of my own, but it should have been obvious it wasn't. I was thinking about dreaming and even about what I wanted to do in my lucid dreams, but I was convinced I was awake and was trying to shut my eyes. I could see through them though (I convinced myself I was seeing through my eyelashes). Really should have caught this one Dream: Longer dream in warmly lit orangish-yellow room, with windows all around the north and east walls. At first I'm sitting with my back against the south wall, sitting at a folding table. I see Gillum, he smiles and walks away -- feels malicious. Some time later I'm over at the east wall facing the corner, in a desk which I've "moved into" -- there's some weird system of school assigned seats + work + real estate going on here. Out of the window I can see a beautiful but vague mountain view all around -- blue skies and white snowcaps. I see the two younger indians from work (who were in the walking on water dream). They say that they're moving into a desk three away from mine. One of them has a broken arm. Later, the older indian man comes and says he wants to take that desk. I inform him they want it. He seems distressed and a negotiator (played by an actor whose name I can't think of -- but he always plays the shifty salesman/negotiator in movies). He says he'll offer them 300,000, or break their legs. Frag: A woman is driving a car in an old-fashioned holiday movie version of NY at night. I know her from a previous dream or earlier scene in this dream, but I'm a camera, not a character. She crashes into another car or people off-screen, and the camera pans to an oddly dressed doorman/paperboy/announcer standing on a grate balcony over an inviting bar with flashing lights. He makes an announcement/proclamation in a grandiose but silly way. Dream: In Walmart, I'm waiting in a line for self-checkout, but the lines are oriented in a strange way that I've never seen in any Walmart -- they're perpendicular to how they normally would be. I'm with F, but I see a few people passing, and casually examine them. Then I see one woman who eyes me suggestively, and I make a point of looking away and talking to F. I don't know what this dream means. Dream: I enter the warmly lit mountaintop room from before, but from a darker hallway in the southwest corner. F is at a table facing away from me. I approach her and become lucid. [Censored for DV] Dream: I'm not sure where I was looking back at it, it's highly probable I was in the warmly lit mountaintop room. I see an attractive girl and become lucid. [Censored for DV] Frag: Vague memory about a house?
November 9, 2018 Grocery Store I was in the grocery store with my mom and dad. I think we were on vacation though. One of them wanted some special chocolate candy that we could only get there, but when I went to look for more because we already had some, there was no more. Then I had an idea that I wanted some double stuff oreos. They had some of those but they also had chocolate dipped ones. I don't think I got any oreos because then I was looking at Italian frozen food. I looked at some pizzas but they weren't what I wanted, so I settled for some baked ziti. Escape
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