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I was lying there trying to fall asleep again after the first LD telling myself, I am going to have a LD. I got pretty comfortable and sleepy and my mind started to wander. I started thinking about skateboarding, about Burnside(the cement skatepark in the original tony hawk game) and what it would be like to do 540s and 720s over the spine, landing on the ground. I started to get some HI and saw an image of this, 3rd person. Then I was dreaming, I was at the top of a giant wooden rollin. It wasn't very steep but it was 20-40 feet tall. There were two ledges and one of them went down the rollin. I thought how could you skate these? Then I was sitting on the ledge that went down with my board on the ground riding down it. I became lucid while moving and decided to air off the quarter pipe across from it. I was going extremely fast. I launched into the air and became nervous because I had never done this in real life and didn't know what to expect. I was about 10 feet above the coping and I started flying because it wasn't working right. I got too excited and woke up, but not all the way.

I had a non-lucid where I was in the basement with my sister getting food out of one of the huge old wooden cupboards down there. For some reason we were afriad these tiny reptile gremlin things were gonna come after us, though I don't even think we saw any or know where that idea came from. I remember laying down on a pile of laundry and talking about something with her.

I was typing a of paper on my friends macbook. I was in bed and I remember sitting with it on my lap feeling the heat from the computer. I was typing it in internet explorer instead of a word processor for some reason. I was typing it on two different tabs. In one I was typing ideas into little boxes and on the other I was typing on this blank green screen with no borders. The elder scrolls 4 kept popping up and interupting me. When I tried to close it another menu opened up. I kept getting interupted and i couldn't get comfortable in bed so I thought about using my bed as a table and sitting on a folding chair in my room. Then I decided it would be easier to just go set up on the computer desk in the other room.
When I went to walk there I walked through this hall where a jazz performance was going on. Some teachers from my school where playing but I couldn't really tell who. I kept going into the computer room. When I got there it looked completely different. It was a really nice study with bookshelves couches and a coffee table. It actually looked somewhat like my friend Ben's room but nicer. Ben, David and Adam* were in there and we talked for a bit, but I felt agitated since I couldn't do my work and kinda bored so I went back to the jazz performance. It looked like they were just finishing the last song, but it turned out they were just waiting for a singer. She walked out wearing a blue sparkly dress and the piano player gave her a big introduction. Then she didn't even sing. I saw an open seat up front and went and sat down. Then it turned into a master class. The piano player was teaching it and said something about a 13 bar major swing. He asked some people to come up to learn what he was teaching, one girl got up, then he asked me if I wanted to give it a try. I'm not too confident on the piano so I was reluctant at first, but then I thought, what the heck, even if I make a fool of myself it doesn't really matter, I shouldn't pass up the opportunity for a free lesson. This lack of fear was my first tip that I might be dreaming, it didn't register consciously but I could feel a shift. As I walked up there I saw two gay guys in their underwear standing on a balcony or overpass sort of thing smoking cigarettes(went to a fucked up website yesterday trying to find information about a movie). There was something wrong about the dimensions of the piano too, so I stuck my finger through my hand. A DC next to me said what the fuck are you doing?!? I laughed. I thought about going off and doing my own thing, but I wanted to see what the piano player was going to teach me. He played this lick that was 3 successive 3 note patterns played 3 times each(the last one might have been played an extra time or lead into something else)They might have been Eb Db B, Db B A, Db A Gb, but I couldn't really get the lick. I kept asking him what the first note was and would he at least play it so I could hear it, but he wouldn't. My hand(my real one) got extremely itchy and I woke myself up scratching it on my stubble.

I had a dream where I met an older woman(not much, only by 5 years maybe). She kept flirting with me and doing really nice things for me. She was giving me a ride to the rec center where I was gonna go swimming, but she took me to some other pool on accident. I remember looking inside the building and seeing people swimming.
Then we were walking around in an apartment complex. I don't know why we were there and we never went into any of the apartments. I remember walking up a few flights of stairs. You could see the landing below from the one you were on and there were no railings. There was a bed on one and I jumped off the landing onto the bed for fun. One of the tenants gave me a dirty look.
Then we at the park. She saw some guy she knew. We talked to him. Then he did something, maybe littering, that got this cop pissed off. The cop handcuffed him and the girl, I was standing a few feet away so he didn't associate me with them. Then the cop went around making a speech trying to make an example of them. I started arguing with him politely because everything he said was total nonsense. Some more happened here but I don't remember it now.
Then we were at a friends house. We were down in the basement. I picked up a bass and started jamming with a guy a vaguely knew who was playing guitar. Then I asked him if I could play his guitar, he said of course and handed it to me. I was playing something really cool and everyone left the room. I got sort of paranoid and put the guitar down. Then a few people came back but the girl was gone. I thought about leaving and finding her but I was having to much fun with the guitar. Then I was playing videos games with everyone who had come back and the paranoid feeling crept in again. I felt like I was wasting my time playing videos games when I could be hanging out with a girl. Then we were playing music again, this time rehearsing for an upcoming gig.

What a weird dream I just had.
First off, my family who lives across the country moved to NY state, on an island marked by a boxy concrete, grey compound of a building with many square windows. Since it was on an island, it had a boat dock with huge, huge cruise liner sized old fashioned boat called the Dev Chevy (pronounced Desh Shervay). It was decked out in red white and blue and had old looking steam or pump things on the back that powered it. It was a significant boat.
I was in the courtyard of the boat dock, waiting to get on for the ride. I got on with a handful of other people and sat in a row of seats that rounded the open white back deck.
The boat took off and dipped and rose so high I had to hold onto the handrail to not slip out of my seat. I saw the water and the beautiful landscape around me as we rose and fell. I took this ride three times.

I was in a green field or farm, where I was standing a long road cut into a hill, so it was raised on both sides. There were horses on both sides. And a bear, but she was laying down with her cub. Then there was a seal laying on the grass, too.

I was with my family back at the boat dock, and it was like a family carnival with more horses. I got my shoes wet in the water, soaked, my boots were full of water. I had two other shoes to wear but they didn't match.

I've began taking silene capensis because its said to help with making dreams vivid and to increase dream recall. While I haven't felt the strong effects of it yet (as it's said to take up to 3 days), I do believe I'm starting to notice little hints of it in my dreams.

The most memorable of the fragments I had last night was one in which I saw a scene of a married couple having a casual conversation. It was odd to me upon waking because rarely are my dreams not about me, the majority of them tend to be about me in very normal and boring social settings. This dream however didn't involve me, I was just watching, as if I was watching a movie or show on TV. I even remember laughing at some DC's that were having discussions with each other. At one point however, the woman give her husband a red and shiny one wheeled motorcyle as a gift. His expression said everything, as he hopped on with a huge smile on his face. Here's a doodle of what it looked like:

This is when the dream sort of changed and I took over the DC's body, though not quite becoming entirely lucid, it was still an interesting experience. I remember squeezing the motorunicyle between my legs and thinking "this must be what it feels like to sync with those animals in Avatar" because I felt a telepathic connection with the cycle, and felt it moving in whatever direction I would think of.. I, or he rather, jetted off on his cycle leaving behind a huge red light trail, similar to the bikes in Akira or even Tron Legacy. At this point I quickly lost that small bit of lucidity, and just watched him ride around with joy.

I was in my teacher Mrs. Martin's science lab, having a lesson. One of my best male friends was being carried across the room. I think he was carried by several people, however it may have been just one person. He was completely naked, and was struggling immensely, kicking and punching like a child being carried to their cot. He was circumcised, and had a very small penis.

Pretty messed up, I know Just to clarify - I'm not gay. This dream was equally weird for me to type up than for you to read it!!!

I was hanging on some rope and I had some kind of a radio device in my hand. I was hanging above some river as I looked down I noticed that my radio device is showing some weird frequencies. Suddenly I find myself on some bridge on the sea. It was dusk. Sun was red and water was reflecting it. I found there a raft and went to some town and had some fun with my friends. I supposedly went to another country but...When I came back I said to my friend where I've been. He said that It could be a problem if I told my dad that I went to another country in raft on my own. Scene change again, I'm now in my cousins house and someone is calling me from outside. The voice said: "Heeeeey Ultraa some girls want your phone number". I went outside but something strange was happening. It was very calm but short after I could hear a warning siren. I run to my cousins house and they've said that earthquake is coming. The house started trembling and ruining and I woke up.

I was young, about 15 or so. I had bare feet and a bunched up raggy skirt.
The dream started as I was running for my life from a woman in officer clothing (i can tell now that she was probably a nazi). I was a gypsy girl, my hair was much the same as it is right now, long and dark.
I was so scared. She was shooting at me from behind. I was running on a dirt road and there was a gray looking forest in front of me. All the trees seemed bare, everything was gray.
I managed to make it to the edge of the forest before i felt a shot in my back. All the wind left my lungs. I was in so much pain, but i had to keep running. I stumbled and started to run again, a little dizzy. The woman wouldn't follow me. She was looking at something in the woods, she was scared. I looked around too.
There was something moving amongst the trees. It looked to be in the form of a man, but it was quick and changed colors to match it's surroundings. I was not looking where i was going, i stumbled to the edge of a cliff and began to slide down. The cliff side cut my legs, my arms and my face. I quickly grabbed onto some rocks that were protruding from the cliff side.
My chest ached. I could feel the blood go down my back. I could not see much, there was blood in my eyes. I cried out for help. I waited.
I cried out again. I wept bitterly for my misfortune of being alive.
After about an hour (in dream time) passed. I tried to wipe the blood from my face, but that just put more dirt on me.
Suddenly a figure appeared above me, looking over the cliff edge. I could not see any features, possibly because the sun was behind it. It threw down some rope and i quick took hold of it. The figure pulled me up and i laid down on the grass. It was odd. This person was not quite a person, he was more like a spirit. He didn't have features that i could see, and he took on the colors and images of his surroundings. To me at the moment he looked like the sky. I gazed painfully up at him, clutching my chest with my bloody arms. I rested my head back down on the grass and shut my eyes, feeling just how badly everything hurt. I felt i was going to die, and i cared little about it. My entire home and everyone in it was destroyed. I went unconscious.
I woke up, still in this dream. It was night and there was a fire i was lying next to. My scrapes and cuts did not hurt as bad, my chest did not ache. I went unconscious again.
I woke up again in this dream. It was daylight now. I saw the dead campfire in front of me, beyond that was the spirit-man. I sat up. I felt no pain. I stood up and brushed my skirt off and took all the leaves out of my hair.
"Thank you." i said to the faceless man.
I could feel him looking at me, wondering about me. I was so happy to be alive and okay, i forgot all about what had happened to my family. I looked at the ground and saw some flowers. They seemed out of place because they were so beautiful. So little and so white. I picked a few and looked at them. I looked over to the spirit-man and smiled at him. I bounced on my feet a little, feeling energetic. I twirled around and picked more flowers, putting them in my hair. The spirit-man continued to watch me.
I lived in the woods for about a week with the spirit-man. In that time it's almost like i didn't have to eat or drink. One day i felt like wandering further than normal. I kept walking until i came to a dirt road. I played on the road a bit and drew things in the dirt with a stick. I heard a sound behind me. It was the sound of a car. I turned and froze. I must have come across a road that is being patrolled. It was like an army jeep without a roof. The car stopped just within my sight, close enough to see a woman-officer stand up and look at me. My heart turned to ice. I ran faster than I had ever ran before. I heard gun shots behind me and the jeep was catching up. I swerved off into the woods and quickly the spirit-man caught me. His arms wrapped around me like a fog and he pulled me into the bushes. I hid there in his arms, hoping not to be found, but happy and safe. I felt a love for the spirit-man and i did not want to leave that spot.
i woke up.

February 4, 2011
me and my stepdad are driving. we drive the curvy road to my school and open a huge gate that normally isnt there. we drive in and bury a body. everything is dark, its stormy out, and cold. i shiver. the dream fast forwards to my house. its amazing how much detail i went into on my house. i got the yellow shutters correct and everything. i walk inside my moms crying. my stepdad was arrested. the dream fast forwards again. im at school. my friend kate is crying because her dad was arrested. later i found out that her dad was working with my stepdad. later i go to the burial site. once again its stormy and the wind is picking up. a flair hits me. i cant read it but i know what it says. it says to come see the show. and it has a picture of my stepdad and what i knew to be kates dad. the dream ends im awaken by mom i dont remember the rest of my dreams.....wish i did need to get my recall up

04.02.2011

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I was driving a red car when I arrived at some place in England when they tried to execute me.

In france they killed Mr Burns and old Gil.

For me the execution was a lenghty process and voluntary, but I finally decided against it.

I was at a library.

My brother wanted a T-shirt and my parents cut out the logo and put it on another shirt.

1/3-4. 11. 735. I’m working for Pizza Hut. I’m choosing my delivery area so that I can get as many homes as possible, but with the shortest amount of driving so to waste little gas. Decide to go home. Somehow get lost and end up taking the freeway and end up in an OC looking area. I’m using the Yellow Pages to try to figure out what freeway will take me home. There’s a minor fender bender with 3-4 cars. Homeless looking black guy in one car. Go up off ramp and turn left to get back on freeway. Cop says my car was in an accident (I’m not in a car now). “What, nuh uh, I passed one though” “No, your car was in an accident.” Look back and a Smart has a car under the back (Smart is mine I guess). Kristy Xxxxxx is there and I’m talking to her

Joan Jett Music vid. Then trying to find it on DR. Then in a late 90’s truck with dad and find it. Use some old school headphones with square ear pieces and an old school looking video screen (quality looks old and has a blue hue) that is in the glove box. Watch it for a while. Kyle in truck too?

Help some girl find something

956. I’m looking at some toy on counter. Looks like it’s a tanker or something. Go to living room and there’s an orange box on the floor. Go back to kitchen and look at toy package again. Looks like there’s a squirt gun hiding. Call to Kyle to ask if I could play with/ have it? Go back to the box and see some small, odd looking rabbits in it. Rabbits are like mice, but a little flatter and ears are a little longer than body and drag on floor. Go to the den where Kyle is. More little rabbits. See animals; rats, hedgehogs, mice. Carpet is a darker blue with brown threads so the carpet looks blue, but when you run your hand over it, it looks like it turns a golden brown color. See a dog with a white shirt on. “Why is there a dog?” “It’s Del’s.” “Why is it here?” “Because Del passed away.” “Oh… oh my…”

Got a few backlogs I'd like to put up to share

2/1-2. 12. 507. At Theresa’s. Cats playing. We’re on the bed and bed is on wall TV is on. One bites me. Look to see the cats and the trash can is larger and filled with kittens. Start to count and get over 20… assume there’s 50+. Then the whole room is a cage and full of kittens, a piglet is in there too

1/26-27. Texas trip. 220. School. I picked a class for Theresa to take, room 13. Theresa thinks it’s the wrong room, so I have to show her. “It’s not big enough!” “Yes it is, it’s just 2 doors for one room.” I head back up to the 2nd floor. Xxxxxxx runs by saying there’s a fire. I look back up and smoke races across the ceiling. Xxxx there too? We all get out. Think Norco FD, so in Norco?

I have been drinking a tea mixture I made for the past week every night before bed consisting of Valerian root, chamomile, kava, and dream herb. It knocks me out for the most part, but last night I just had a melatonin pill (3mg). I was listening to binaural beats once again, particularly gamma waves.


Somehow my house has turned into a bar, and I am walking downstairs to meet a customer. I had forgotten that she ordered a martini, so I quickly run back upstairs to find the dry vermouth... But it is missing. I'm frantically searching my kitchen for it, and constantly yelling "Fuck!" A coworker of mine was there too.

Gah, my recall has been really awful lately. Too much stress, and not enough time to write down the dreams I do remember. And now, this:

2/4/10

1- Reunion with Leroy
I am horrified to note that all of my front teeth have been horrifically chipped... Upon closer inspection, they all look more like fingernails than teeth, and are mangled quite severely. "No way this is real," I say to myself with a snort after overcoming the initial shock. "I've gotta be dreaming."

A reality check proves me correct, and I go outside to think about which of my tasks to attempt. When I get outside, however, I notice that it is far too dark for my liking, which indicates that the dream is unstable. No problem. I rub my hands together, then focus on raising the sun. It works--- but only for about two seconds.

As I'm going for a second attempt, I spot a dark figure approaching me. Suddenly I'm filled with overwhelming terror. "Leroy," I mutter under my breath. It has been so long since I've seen him that I no longer remember how to deal with his fear aura. I simply stand there, frozen, my heart pounding in my chest. Without even a greeting, he abruptly grabs my leg and jerks my feet out from under me, digging his nails into my skin as my back slams to the ground. I feel no pain from his nails, but it feels as though he's screwing with my energy.

Anger wins over the fear. I roughly pull him onto the ground with me and we begin wrestling for control. After a while, he lets me pin him to the ground. He stares up at me, that damned infuriating smirk playing on his lips. Now all of my fear is long forgotten as I lean forwards to kiss him...

...but the dream destabilizes and he vanishes.

Ugh. I certainly hope that Royal Manipulation dream I had wasn't true. If so, EWW! Either way, I need to learn some self control.