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I'm asked out by someone who's exactly my type and I'm ecstatic about it. He kisses me and says he can't wait. When the day arrives, he shows up at the dinner place with his girlfriend, who has surprised him by dropping into town. They keep smiling dreamily at each other and can't seem to unwind their arms off each other. I know his locker is next to mine, so I'll either have to suck it up and be just friends with him and wait out the relationship, if it ends, or I'll have to give in to my feelings of jealousy and anger. The latter prove too powerful and I walk away from the situation, venting to my friend Carol from high school. I notice a lot of people staring at me, particularly men with headsets (workers on a film crew) - it's the film production department of a university. I've suddenly become the shrill, unreasonable woman who yells, to anyone within earshot, "I really thought he liked me. He kissed me and everything. And then he shows up with his girlfriend??" So Carol is continuing to try to be sympathetic, but I'm looking like comic relief and I know it.

We go into a classroom where a well-dressed woman is sitting at a piano. I walk up and ask if I can practice singing a jazz number I know. I feel I need to do this just to feel better. She just stares, so in order to reassure her I pull the sheet music from my bag. It's at this point that she tosses me one of those icy uppercrust smiles and says, "I'm sorry. Our soloist is performing and I do have to get ready." (She'd just been sitting at the piano before I'd tried to do anything.) I say to Carol, who is seated, and for all in the room to hear, "Now, you see how that just took me down a few notches socially?" Carol and the others pretend I'm crazy. I reassure Carol, "Don't worry. This is a dream, so these people aren't actually real." Carol sinks further into her chair. "I'll prove it," I continue. "Watch this." Then I address the room: "Freeze!" Everyone freezes in their spot, including Carol. I bend forward and address Carol, "Unfreeze." She does. But others are slowly starting to unfreeze as I speak. I continue, "When the pianist refused to play my piece, especially since she did it in front of the entire room, don't you see how I was left standing foolishly and holding the bag? No one wants to acknowledge it and I don't know why, but that's the way it is. She does it because she can."

I have to go back to my locker at that point and there's a produce aisle right near it. Dream date and his girlfriend are there, ogling. I see a note scrawled in the dust by Dream Date: "Sorry, didn't mean to hurt you. " It only makes me angrier because I know that means he knows I liked him and this means he'll never be interested in me in any case. Anyway, the last scene I remember in the dream is of me walking quickly with my head down, trying to stay ahead of the Dream Couple, bounding across stairways so I can just get to my locker before they do and get the heck out of there.

Risperidone ran out three nights ago, so I guess the nightmares are back....

Dream
Lucid
Fragments

I am in my hometown and for some reason I'm riding a moped. I remember driving it one way up the dual carriageway but my recall is poor until my return trip. On the way back down there are some features of an american highway, concrete boundaries are on each side before the big roundabout and the traffic is much more frantic than usual. I accellerate onto the roundabout with too much speed and almost come off the road due to one of the lanes abruptly ending. I managed to stay on however and check my speed which is shown on a cross between an egg timer and a milk carton. It shows that I'm doing 50 and gaining speed fast. I try to slow down a bit but even when coasting my speed doesn't seem to be affected. On the way back down I realise there are police in front of me and that I'm reaching well over 80. Applying the brakes doesn't work but luckily I manage to naturally slow down to 50 when I reach them, assuming that the relaxed speed would draw little attention to me. I'm then aware that I've overtaken them and that a truck which was accompanying us (I have no idea why I know it's "us") is having trouble sneaking past the police, we're worried that they'll realise we gave two women a lift on the back of the mopeds earlier and arrest us. Luckily it overtakes them on the inside and somehow gets past. We're watching from the roadside. Dream ends.

I wake up in my room at night with overwhelming fear. I have no idea why but jump up immediately and RC. My finger works its way through my hand with some effort but I am unconvinced so only become semi lucid. There is a child standing by my window and this scares me further. I run over to her and shake her, asking who she is. Upon closer inspection she is my ex's younger sister and I calm down. But then I get a bad feeling about downstairs. I open my door (which has become cupboard doors) and look down to see a baby at the bottom. Again I am inexplicably afraid of this and shout at it to go. I close the doors and open them again, repeating this shout several times. Finally I open the door and bang against the wood to scare the child off, this almost works as it backs away for an instant but I decide to escape anyway.

I am tempted to fly jump out of my window but due to the unconvincing reality check I try hovering first, this works so I fly straight through the window, ignoring the glass. As I fly around the edge of my house I realise that the imminent danger is gone and that I should ground the dream. I closely inspect the bricks but stupidly focus on the silence of the night, this brings the ringing of my real life ears into focus and the dream collapses instantly.

I recall a few more interesting scenarios throughout the night.

I definitely remember having quite a detailed dream but don't record it as I attempt to DEILD or WILD. I cannot remember the main events but remember speaking to my Mum in it.

I also remember nearly becoming lucid and frantically rubbing my hands together to bring everything into focus, I think this didn't work unless it was a prelude to the above lucid dream.

In the last hour or so of my sleep I started telling myself "lucid dream" over and over again. I started visualising different dream scenarios and these become vivid to the point where they were no longer visualisations, yet I didn't feel I was asleep either and could have easily stopped thinking of them.

EDIT: I think one of my vivid visualisations involved somebody cleaning a table with a spray on cleaner, the thing which prevented this from becoming a full on dream is that my finger started twitching in real life, as if I was doing the spraying myself. This made a scratching sound on my duvet and I woke up.

Overall then a pretty successful night, I seem to be making quite a bit of progress and I put some of this down to the fact that I'm now home and therefore can get a good nights sleep and a lie in. Absolutely gutted that I broke the lucid dream, but knew this would happen at some point as I remember reading about it happening to someone else so it lingered on my mind.

Interestingly I knew I'd LD last night because I'm home, and I know I will again tonight. I just feel strongly that practicing in such a challenging environment at Uni will make it so much easier when I'm relaxed at home.

This is yesterdays fragment
Im looking at some news on the internet, and theres news about russian cops who dont wear anything on their bald heads even if its winter. Then Im like "why are they so stupid, theyll catch cold" my dad comments something on it.

Todays fragment.
Im at our schools yard, its pretty dark and its winter. I hace this pistol which can shoot masking tape rolls. H is surveying in the yard. K needs some tape and I shoot it to him. I shoot some next to H.
Im at A000 hallway and speaking to H about renting a pianobook and some other equipments. P is dissing me and H, H is about to give detention to P, but doesnt.
Im at my room showing the book, which I rented, to my mom

I am part of the OnePiece crew, we somehow got to an island with a big castle on it. The whole crew divided itself in teams of 2, and we played then a game, in which one team would be in the middle, and the other teams would build a circle around it. The team in the middle was giving a challenge, and one of the other teams had to take it. One team summoned a monster, which would get bigger and bigger id you attack it, it got really big. Then it flew away, but came back heading for the island. It shot missiles on us, and started to spin, drilling through the whole island. I thought that is would break the island, but it was bigger than assumed. Instead, a big earthquake occured, I switched into a fairy, and flew as high as I could. I noticed a flying Island near the first one, settled down there and watched the earthquake. After the earthquake was over, I flew back to the original island, and waited for the other members of the crew to arrive. 3 teams came out of the castle, Usopp carried a big treasure chest. I opened it, there was only a watch and another little chest in it, but that little one I didn't open. I noticed light inside the flying island, apparently there was a room in it, I flew there and saw Franky training inside. We both got back, and I told everyone about the flying island.
My brother was at the island too, he found a little mouse, but couldn't catch it. I switched into another fairy, which could attract nearby small pets. The mouse let itself catch, but another mouse, a bigger one, came to me. I took it and placed it on my right shoulder. I was in my room again, at my laptop. I tried to let the mouse get on the ground, and it had fun running away from me, so I let it go, I thought that it doesn't matter because I have the fairy trick. So I took a seat at my laptop again. Later I noted, that the mouse was running around in my room and marking the corners, like a dog would mark his territory. I asked my mother if it was allowed to do that, she said no, but it wouldn't matter, because we are about to move out of this house.

I can't tell how I was feeling as a fairy, because at those scenes it was like a third person camera to me.

26/01/2010
I decide to try an OBE in the morning.

My energy body becomes relaxed quickly. I have various sensations of floating, and sinking. Eventually my legs become 'lose' and start floating up. I try to loosen my body,and eventually slide out my feet onto the window sile at the end of my bed. I look out the window. ( There is a tree there that has lots of yellow flowers on it in RL) . All the yellow flowers turn into canaries and start singing it really comical and beautiful at the same time ( a year on I can still remember it clearly). I try and go out but the venison(SP?) blinds start hurting me, like cutting into me. I decide to go out my bedroom door instead.
I lose my vision but can still feel things so I continue on, my vision comes back. My house is a mess, things are everywhere. I walk through the kitchen, there is a fridge in my living room, the door is open and inside are all these different coloured bottles of soft drink, they are glowing,green blue, orange. I decide to get one and drink it. It fizzes up and spills. I hardly get to drink any of it. It changes colour from green to orange.
As I pick a another green one up it turned to blue. I thought the reflection was playing tricks on me. It was kind of shimmering blue/green. ( this was really cool)
I turn round and notice the shower is on I head in to turn it off. The taps are strange, there are leavers and you turn it. It takes some time for me to figure out how to turn it off.
I decide I will head outside, as I go back through the kitchen I see a big bread knife, I consider cutting my self to see what is is like.. I'm in a dream why not?.. I quickly decide not to do that.
As I get to the back door the sky is so bright it blinds me and I lose my vision. I almost lose the dream.. I can hear my self breathing. I can still feel the dream so I try to feel every step on the stairs as I go down and hold on to the railing. I get to the bottom there is a pile of dead mice .. wtf.. I just step over them and ignore them. I keep walking there are heaps of cars parked in the street, my neighbour is having a party. I decide it would be fun to go for a drive. I pick up some small stones, to smash the windows. As I am walking over to the cars I see a bigger rock. I pick it up. It is much lighter then I thought it would be.
There is a limo in my driveway so I go to smash the window but the door is not locked, too easy, so I get in and start driving. The seat is too close and I am squashed against the steering wheel. I move it back... I think I lost lucid now... My brother is with me in the limo we are speeding around and fishtailing etc, I crash into a tree, I decide its time to wake up now.

REAL LIFE NON-LUCID LUCID

Last night, I had my first lucid dream in aaaaages. This was great as I only started practising again in the last couple of weeks, so it's nice to have some success. However, it was seriously SO short

I was sat on my computer chair, watching a Harry Potter film on my computer. I presume it was The Philosophers Stone, as I was at the scene where Hagrid tells Harry that he is a wizard. The camera panned to have a view of Hagrid's face, looking to his left and talking to Harry. He said something to him, which I cannot remember. However, I remember what he said surprised me, and I thought I should do a reality check, despite being 99% sure I wasn't dreaming. I held my nose and tried to breath in, and I could breath! I was lucid!!! However, as soon as I realized this, I got very, very excited and shouted in my head something like, "Oh my god, I'M LUCID" and I immediately woke up

I also had one dream the night before last night, and wrote notes down on my phone. However I forgot to look back on them, so now they mean nothing. Might as well write them though...

I was in my school lay by. My mates started taking music equipment to music. They were angry. The science booklet was not due in until after half term. I was in the hallway.

I am walking through a worn-down town and notice a 70-something man behind a storage shed. It's a very hot day and he appears
to be in bad health. He asks me to hold onto this "important" bowl of soup for a week and then return it to him, or else
he will die. He hands me the soup and I walk away.

One week, and one day later I return (for whatever reason I lost track of time). The old man is lying on the ground dead.

After witnessing that beautiful picture, I spot a cheerful black dog approaching me. I decide that it is best to not waste
the soup. I walk down the road with the dog tossing him pieces of chicken from the soup. After the bowl is empty, the dog leaves and I wake
up.

My cousin N. is a boy of 14 years old and I'm 2 years older than him. We're very closed to each other although he's not in the same country as I. We meet mostly every year. He knows everything about me and vice versa. I never keep secrets from him. He's just like a brother to me. I like him a lot.
In my family incest marriage is normal and many of my aunts, cousins married their own kin. I'm the only one not in agreement with that because I had been in love with one of my cousins too and this ended up tragically and now I've lost him forever - I've made my very first enemy in the family.
As I'm still growing - mentally and physically - I know that sometimes when I saw N. when he came in the country recently, I felt something deep and warm inside but I didn't want to admit things... so I just called it puberty.
Then as I became interested in Arthurian legends I began to associate every character as someone in real life: i.e that's why I'm called Morgan in the forum So I'm Morgan Le Fay and N. is Arthur my half-brother...
So here's my dream:

I was in a hospital. Someone came in to give me a baby. It was mine as I had just given birth to a son. But I feel frustrated and enraged. I kept telling myself: how did I come to this? and why??
Then the father came in: N.! I was shocked and irritated. I remembered screaming somewhat at him... because he was calm and even happy to see his son! But what we did was wrong! I could not understand his attitude. I was being very bad tempered...
Then I don't really remember the rest but I know that I took my baby and we went out so as to find what to do about our parents etc... and where should we keep the baby. We were in the bus... What seemed really genuine was the thing in my arms... the baby... I could really feel it, it was clear that I was holding the baby throughout the whole dream... the rest was just blurred.
There was a moment where I got a sort of flash. N. and I were in my house and he told me that to celebrate our son's first day on this Earth we should enjoy ourselves a bit in bed... But I refused because I didn't want to get pregnant and thought: What the hell??
In the end it came out of the subject because the bus stopped at a sort of garage where my tutoring teacher and other school friends were there, learn a dance...
:S

I remember a campsite and some unknown forest that must've been created in my mind unlike most camping dreams where it is the same kind of campsite it always is. This one was unrecognizable with triangular prism shaped tents and no campers or RV's.

Me and some new friends that I met at the campsite decided to go exploring in the woods for no reason and occasionally it was swampy and muddy but it always seemed like we were walking down a slope and the deeper we got the more fog blinded our long distant view. We started seeing dead trees and then a destroyed small house with the kitchen appliances and cabinets still intact. After we found the small house, we saw the Grim Reaper wondering the woods with glowing red from his skull's empty eye sockets.


This picture looks close due to the trees & the plainness but there was no snow & he also had red glow coming from his eyes & black aura from his hands.

We saw him just walking around like we weren't there until we saw him turn and look at us and we knew he was coming after us. We ran and tried to avoid knives he threw at us and his hidden blade he had in his sleeve along with the scythe.

Just about when all hope was lost, I found a small pocket knife on the ground and quickly grabbed it and stabbed him in the side. He made an evil hissing sound and started to disappear in a black mist that quickly floated away. We were still unsure what to do and I quickly ran up to see his weapons he carried and took the hidden blade, the small knife I used to kill him, and the cloak while my friends took the rest of his things evenly with each other including the scythe, his thrown knives, and a short sword.

A white creature like a mouse but constantly changing shape ran from the reaper's empty clothing after we got some of his items and I chased it until I realized that it was about to attack me. At this moment I knew I was dreaming but when I looked around the dream continued instead of becoming fuzzy and ending like it does 80% of the time when I realize it's a dream. I told myself out loud that this creature will die and not harm me. Surprisingly it didn't die and disappeared in the ground. I then started observing the loot I obtained from the Grim Reaper and realized that the hidden blade had broken on the part where it attaches to your arm. I then closed my eyes and said the parts required will materialize in my hand. At that moment, two parts both interlocking metal pieces with slots for straps on the back of them appeared in my hand. I put them together and strapped the hidden blade to my arm and tried it out and it worked. It sprang out like Assassin's Creed Style and it was black with red designs on it.

I had the Grim Reaper's cloak and the hidden blade along with my sword (the one I own) and the small knife all equipped to me and at that moment I could see a black aura around my hands and my vision became darker. I felt like I had unstoppable power flowing in the palms of my hands.

I then remember walking in the woods a little longer and then I woke up to my alarm clock.

I had a dream that a lot of my extended family was coming over to visit. All my extended family lives pretty far away, so it was a pretty big deal. When they showed up, we all got in our cars to go drive someone else. We raced on the highways for a while, and arrived at our destination. One of my friends from school was there, and he began to make out with on of my cousins. I was a little weirded out, but I didn't care too much.

Date: 19/2/11
Lucid
Non-Lucid
I actually liked this dream
----------
I was drowning along with this other girl I didn't know. I couldn't seem to get my head above the water and I had already breathed in so much water. Then strong arms were pulling me out of the water and I found myself face to face with a handsome guy. He had medium lenght hair and green eyes.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
I tried to speak but I choked up water. He suddenly kissed me and then spat. I frowned, confused. "I'm getting the water out of your lungs," he explained. I nodded - I wan't complaining as he continued kissing me.
After he said that all the water was out of my lungs I went and sat with the other girl who had drowned. "Did you get the water taken out of your lungs?" I asked her. She was confused. "You could get that guy to do it," I whispered signalling to the guy who had rescued her from the water. She giggled.

Date: 16/2/11
Lucid
Non-Lucid
----------
I had just finished performing "Summer" on my violin for assembly and I was sitting in the art room. My violin teacher came in and congratulated Elise on playing so well as my accompaniment. She then scolded me for messing up a part in the middle. I was heart-broken. "Aww..." Shelley sympathized.
Actually have to perform this in two days!
----------
I was in a big shopping centre and I had lost my friends. I couldn't find the escelators and I walked around occasionally running into other people I knew who asked me if I was okay. I always said I was.
----------
I think the cat threw up in this dream...

Date: 15/2/11
Lucid
Non-Lucid
This was a really interesting dream.
----------
I was riding with my Dad and my brother up to a new city. There was a big brown cabin there that was just like the one I had stayed in on my school trip to Canberra. The skies were grey. We drove up to a big apartment building and my sister and I entered. It was extremely overcast and looked like it was going to rain even more than before. Then everyone else arrived with my mum. They all lined up outside and I looked down from our high window. It was a line of 20 people. All of them were staying in our apartment. I saw Zoe and her little brother there as well.

They all had towels and togs and were going to the beach. My sister and I decided to stay back. I looked in the freezer, "We could make a danish," I said.
"Are there any berries?" my sister asked.
At first I couldn't find any but eventually I saw some. "Yes."
Laura and I decided that we would make ourselves mini quiches and danished for dinner and dessert. Someone else walked in - one of the twenty who was staying with us - and asked what we were doing. We answered by asking if they were going down to the beach with the others. She said she was so we told them that we were making dinner for ourselves now so that we didn't have to cook for twenty more people. She nodded and left.
----------
I was in the same city but in a completely different scenario. I was walking along the streets until I eventuallly found the shopping centre. I walked in. It was only lit dimly and it looked like a big open warehouse. There weren't any shopping isles - only checkouts. I didn't seem to find that strange. I did however look up one section and saw that instead of being a bowling ally like it used to, it was just filled with more checkouts. Those ones looked closed though. Suddenly Auntie Kate ran through the door and past me, "I'm late!" she said. Then she quickly took her spot behind one of the checkouts.
My dreams were really dim and dark last night - sort of strange.

18.02.2011

Blue dimension (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I was in San Diego downtown. I was with my meetup group of meditation. I was in front of the Red Lotus Society for a guided meditation session.

I realized it was thurday, there was no meditation of Thursday and I was not hosting one either. I figured I was dreaming. I saw a female friend who comes to my meetup group. For some reason, I lost lucidity.

I wanted to meet with her somewhere around the area. She told me with telephaty that she was at the sports bar. There were several sports bars around. I entered a couple but I could not find her.

I turned lucid again for some reason and decided to look for Dreamer. I recalled she opens portals with her fingers, so I attempted the same. I drew a circle with my fingers, however, the portal was too small, I could not find it.
I attempted to draw another portal, with success. I entered the portal and I was floating in a different dimension. There were nothingness. It was empty, however, it was all blue. I was in an endless blue atmosphere. I could see different tones of blue but that's it.

I figured I was going to be alone for a long time in there, so I drew another portal. I exited the portal and appeared in a beach.

I lost lucidity. Something happened with a car, but I do not recall well.

Date: 13/2/11
Lucid
Non-lucid
I remembered more of this when I first woke up but not anymore.
----------
There was something about my brother pouring the old muesli into his bowl and then pouring the new muesli in on top but the new muesli was burnt.