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last night i had an extremely vivid and disturbing dream.

i was in a house that was a hybrid of my own and my friends house.
i hear a knock on the door and it's this guy i know (we'll call him A) that has a horrible personality IRL and i dislike him with a passion.

i haven't answered the door yet but i know it's him because he's speaking (it sounds like he's reading out the course outline for one of my psychology courses) and i recognise his voice.

then i hear some other people approaching (about 15 or so, and they all sound about 16 or 17) and they hassle A. he keeps just saying random words: "consciousness, neural bases of behavior, learning and conditioning.."

then they start stabbing him and laughing cruelly

A: "are you stabbing me?"

the stabbing sound was incredibly disturbing and realistic. i was sitting inside listening to all this and freaking out, almost feeling every stab because i can hear it so clearly.
then it stops and the mob sounds satisfied, laughing and joking about A's death
"look, it's a dead A. hahahahahahaahah!"

all this time i want to go out and do something about it but i know i'll just be killed as well. i was pretty terrified obviously.
i hear them leave and then i tentitively go to the door and only catch a glimpse of A and then look away.
he certainly looks dead. he's lying still with blood oozing out of his stab wounds.

i decide to call the cops so i go find my cellphone. i go to back to my room (which doesn't look like my room whatsoever) and find it. i dial 2000 (the proper police number in New Zealand is 111) and hear an american voice on the other end.

"hello this is the police blah blah blah"

i say nothing, still in shock, but i'm also starting to get a little confused by this whole situation and something seems very fishy.

operator: "come forth or front from the weather"

me: "uh yeah i think they killed A, they stabbed him man...."

then i woke up and heard a bunch of laughing teenage voices in the alley that had gotten into my dreams and had become the laughing mob.

so many dreamsigns!!! and i almost figured out i was dreaming!
dang man.

I hardly remember anything!!

Here's the tiny bit I've got:

I was in a hotel in some hot, third-world country. The hotel really wasn't too shabby. Just a little old-fashioned. There was lots of purple. Anyways, I was in love with a beautiful tribeswoman. This relationship was forbidden, or otherwise greatly disliked by the tribal leader. Her and I were running for safety.

The only other thing I remember was some fidgety scene that may have involved a military installment. I remember seeing a big blue sign with white lettering on it in the snow that said, "Faggy". I dunno.

the dream really isn't the important part of this post.
i am slightly aware that i am dreaming during the dream but i don't do a reality check until the dream is ever and everything is dark. i do the nose plug reality check, i am dreaming. i want to make sure so i move my arms and do the finger-through-palm reality check. it works too. everything is still dark. i slowly start to feel myself under the blanket end then i am awake
this has happened more than once.

Had a text from Taylor, it was time for me to meet up with him to pick up something. I can't really remember what. He sounded irritated so I was not looking forward to seeing him. I got into my car. I was driving down a one way when a car was going the wrong way on it and hit my car head on. It wasn't a very serious accident but both of our cars had marks and dents in them. I was super pissed. The guy threw his hands up in the air as if it was my fault. There was another car behind his but he wasn't apart of the accident and then he sort of disappeared during the excitement of everything. I got out of my car. The air was slightly smoky and foggy. He got out of his car and walked towards me. He asked me what the hell I was thinking. This sent me over the edge. I proceeded to call him a fucking moron who doesn't understand the concept of a one way street. I pointed to a sign that I guess re enforced what I had to say though I never actually read the sign. The man stood there in a daze. After a few moments I could see that he knew it was his fault. We both walked across the street into a white building with large windows because the air was getting even more smoky (funny because the cars looked not that bad). I started going on and on about how this was his fault and about how he needed to pay on whatever damages he made to my car. At first he was fine but then he suddenly got pissed. He grew angry with me. I don't exactly remember what it was that he had against me but he knew something and started to use it against me. I suddenly became way more sweet and I started telling him that we needed a friendly agreement. That seemed to please him and we decided not to get insurance involved (good for him because I was going to sue) and that he would pay me later. Good for me because he wasn't going to use whatever he had over me. I went home. Me, allen, leo, and dina were living in a new place. It was super modern with black wood floors and white walls and lots of modern furniture. Allen was setting up our bedroom. Apparently dina and leo got the master bedroom so allen was working on making the two smaller rooms somehow work together as one room for us. I told allen about the crash bit he wasn't the least bit interested in my story.

There was some sort of crevice in the ground by i-90 that was mostly covered by rock and leaves and large bushes/small trees. There was a news cast around the crevice and a shirtless sweaty tan man sitting on the ground. Ambulances were scattered about and people were tending to the man. I listener and watched as one reporter talked into a microphone and a man filmed. She said the man fell into the crevice nearly 30 feet and crawled his way back out. I paused for a moment and I could actually visualize and see the mans decent and crawl back up the crevice. This scene took me several minutes. I could even imagine the mans grunts and he made his way out. The news lady said that if he fell on his head, he would be dead. (Obvious I know). I walked slowly to the edge of the crevice. I looked down into it. I felt invisible to all the people around me. There was a warm calm feeling that I got from ths crevice and I had an extremely strong urge to crawl in.

Was at my apartment. Big huge clue from the start that I was dreaming, my walls were all white!!!! Damn myself for not realizing it! Especially since my walls are beige. It was especially dark throughout the apartment with a mild blue glow. I don't know why but I remember running my fingers through the white carpets. They were more like shag carpets then what I actually have and it felt so smooth. Its a shock that I didn't realize I was in a dream because when I think back to it, I had a strange buzzing feeling inside myself. The same buzzing feeling that I get whenever I've had a lucid in my apartment(s). Allen and some other people were watching tv in the game room. They were completely distracted and disconnected from me. The only person who I was really interacting with was my sister. She was a few years younger then she is now, id say about 10. We were crawling around my apartment and giggling. We kept making funny faces at eachother. We were both in pjs. I can't remember exactly what she wore but I had on a white cotton shirt and allens blue boxers on. The movie everyone was watching was making loud intense noises. I looked out a large window I was the game room (another sign because the game room window isn't that big). The giant alien robot thing from war of the worlds was walking around outside. It turned its light towards us as if looking at us. I knew that I needed to hide from it because it was going to enter the phone and that my sister needed to hide too. Yet I wasn't worried about anyone else. Everyone else didn't seem real enough to think about worrying about. (It seems to me I was on the cusp of lucidity and yet I was having to much fun and not being conscious enough to fully turn lucid). Even though the alien robot thing was bad and a killer machine of some sort, I was laughing and having fun finding odd places to hide. It became a sort of game between me and my sister. At one point I hide under the kitchen my kitchen sink after pushing the garbage can and cleaning supplies out onto the kitchen floor. My body is super contorted and I crack up laughing I open the door and yell out for Hailey (my sister) to come look at me. She runs out and starts cracking up too. We hear a thud and we both say "oh no!" To eachother in a joking way. We know the
robot is around the corner. I grab Hailey and she squishes under the sink with me. There is no way in reality that this would actually work. I shut the door. Were both looking at eachother and softly giggling. I can see us not together in a third person point of view.

Walking down the street between home and work. I see I giant st. Bernard dog!

I was in a really nice modern kitchen of white and light blue colors. It wasn't my kitchen but yet I still felt very comfortable there as if I had been there many times before and it belonged to a family member of mine. I had on a white shirt and blue denim pants. I was wearing sneakers (I never wear sneakers). I was laughing surrounded by people I knew as my family but really they were just random deem characters that I had created. I felt energized, happy, and super positive. There was a large sliding glass door that led out to a huge green backyard that was obviously very well kept. I saw that two cops were standing there looking in on me. They were both female cops, on asian with hair pulled back and one white with her blonde hair pulled back. They looked extremely calm. Suddenly lettuce and cabbage leaves were all over the kitchen floor, heaps of it. I decoded to make the cops laugh buy covering my self in the leaves and doing the moon walk across the kitchen floor. The people inside the house and the cops outside were laughing hysterically. I felt really satisfied that I could make them laugh.
*memory laps*
Allen and leo are on a dock. They are so connected and I get jealous of over how close they are. Then I felt foolish for being jealous over the bond of two cousins since the bond of a boyfriend and girlfriend is much different.
*memory laps*
In the woods skipping around with allen, laughing and cracking our usual inside jokes.

Me and dina are for some reason in jail together. I think we may he high or something by the way that we are acting and laughing. We decided to sneak out to buy kittens. We had full intent to return to the jail that night. Somehow we make it past the guards. We go through a series of tunnels and large stair wells. The stair wells are like a dusty beige color. We giggle the whole time. Its dark outside and we run across the street to the pet shop. We spend a lot of time walking through the shop and admiring the animals. We find the kittens and we each pick out one. I of cores pick out a cute little fuzzy black one. We buy a little food and a water dish and a small cat bed each. Then we put out cats and other merchandise in boxes and head back for the jail. When we almost reach our cell I realize that we will need more food in just a couple days and I begin to get anxious about having to break out again. We make it to the cell and I play with my new kitten "chauncy" for a while. I get sleepy and I snuggle with him in my bed to go to sleep.

I dreamt that I was at the first day of school, with totally unknown classmates. Everyone was sitting and listening to the teacher, and all of our laptops were stacked at the side of the room.
I felt that my computer was missing , but I did not know for sure. I remained at my chair while I was looking around anxiously after my computer. In the end I just went crawling over the tables looking for my laptop.

The end.

I was playing some sort of relationship video game. I was somewhere in the middle of the game, during a bathtub scene. there were two girls there with me. One had long, black hair an inch or two below her shoulders. the other one had short hair of an unremembered color. I messed up the scene and decided to start the game over because I had no idea what I was doing or who anyone was.

the game started with me in the bathtub, I sat there for a bit, unsure what to do. I started hearing frustrated sighs from outside the door, so I decided to check it out. outside the door opened up to a large, fairly dark cavern of a reddish rock material, I could not see the ceiling, not that I was looking. and there were stalagmites scattered about in various places. I followed the sighs up a pathway to a plateau where the short-haired girl was trying to draw spongebob, there were several scratched out sketches littered about.

the short-haired girl noticed and greeted me, we talked for a bit, then she started singing the spongebob theme song, (who lives in a pineapple under the sea) and I would say the choirs. partway through the song, she began approaching me, and by the time the song was over, she was almost on top of me. our eyes locked, she smiled, and just when I thought something was going to happen, she got off of me, scampered away a few steps, and said, "But this isn't that kind of game." with a coy smile. I wasn't angry, I just smiled and agreed, because I knew there were very few opportunities for sex in this game, and they were very hard to get to.

The girl flashed, and for a second, she looked like an angel, then she dissapeared (I think, I'm not sure what happened to her exactly)

Something drew my attention to an old worn down shack in the cave, I decided to investigate it. I approached the door and went in. the long haired woman from earlier was inside, I seem to remember her floating a few feet from the floor. she flashed demonic, as the short-haired one had flashed angelic and the long haired woman chased me through the house. I escaped by jumping out the second story window.

-missing time?-

Both of the women have dissapeared or been kidnapped, I am making my way through the dungeon, fighting through monsters, traps, and solving the puzzles that I can't just smash my way through trying to find them. there is a dungeon master taunting me about how I'll never make my way through the dungeon, though I can tell by his voice that he is a bit worried about my progress. I blow up a few strategically placed abandoned houses that were deliberately blocking my path. all three of the houses that I arrived at had a volcano next to it that spewed out bombs instead of lava, so I used those to blow the houses up. the third house I almost had destroyed when I decided to investigate it for anything useful. I found a secret passageway inside of an urn of some kind and went into it.

Inside was a cavern at least twice the size of the red one, there was a thin, greenish-blue mist that obscured the other side of the cavern. floating rocks served as platforms to places unknown, there appeared to be some sort of nexus in the middle of the cavern, emitting a greenish energy into the cavern. there are polygonal creatures that appear to be attempting to push me off, but they just go right through me. I jump to a few large platforms, before waking up.

Just a fragment - I was listening to a new hardcore song by Slippery Disco. I don't remember what it was called. I don't really know anything about them; the only song I know is this one, though I do like it, and apparently they only have one other one.

August 25, 2011

http://img199.imageshack.us/img199/7269/1275813521543.png

But I have a dream of me being much younger and trying to dress up like a cowboy. Messing a belt all up on the progress.

Beside that I had and forgotten like 5 fragments.

During one of my time waking up I had sleep paralysis and was prepare for it. I open my left eye and look at my left hand...Things got freaky...I saw this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TR_8SDNQ0ks

Of course it wore off and I was able to open my eye for real. It could have been a false awakening. Meh...Maybe a mix of the two?

I was in an airlock to a building, and there was this bird whistling the phantom of the opera. I was with another person, whom I think was Waking Nomad. Then we walked through the building, and Nomad's put on a shirt that had "Curity" written on the back of it, short for security. He said what up to the security guard dude that walked in from the back, and we chatted for a second on where to go. I saw a path in front of some trees, and I said the place was right after that path. We followed it, and their was a lot of people on our left doing yoga in a field. To our right was really green fauna, and trees. We kept walking, and the birdpecker was still singing that song. I started singing it, and the people doing yoga started watching us. Then Nomad did a duet with me, and this weird resonation happened between us in the dream, and it made my whole body ZAP, and my physical foot twitched super fast in real life, and I woke up. Very odd dream.

weird building.

okay, I was in a really strange building that was like a hotel. I was by a front desk and J from work was behind the desk. for some reason I wanted to leave so I walked out a door and she was like, "hey, wait!" and she was walking behind me. I tested gravity in a stairwell and flew upwards. J was looking at me and smiling and said, "OMG, how did you do that?" Suddenly she was upstairs with me and still following me. For some reason I didn't like that and was thinking that it wasn't really her. I kept looking back and she would change slightly every time. So I dismissed her as a DC. I ran down hallways and turned every so often and went into different rooms. The place was like a maze and kept changing every time. Then when I knew I had lost her. I thought I wanted to find the Real "j," (if that makes any sense... my dream logic is so weird at times, even when lucid). So I went into other random rooms and hallways with the feeling of trying to find her. I went through a few doors when....


FA, and I'm in sleep paralysis, half my body I can't feel and it feels like I am floating in a strange position. I try and focus on entering a stable dream. I focus for a bit and begin hearing demonic voices calling my name.Then I heard some creepy children humming. They were like humming in a really creepy way and harmonizing with one another. there was no melody. just like a single tone for a long time. I got a bit scared at this point and woke myself up.

08/24/11

DILD + DEILD

Recall: decent

I was able to practice flying with a broomstick. I had good control and alright speed. I wish I could go a little faster and I still had trouble getting into space.

I started out as a cop driving around. There was someone else in the passenger seat. I come to a red light, but I don't want to stop. I realize I can just turn on the sirens and go through. While I am looking for the light switch, I blaze right through the intersection. Like 3 seconds later I find it. There are only 2 buttons on the center council and one is the lights.

As I flip the siren on, a guy ahead of me in the other lane stops so I can pass. This is a pretty good deal. Then another cop behind me sees my siren and turns his on too. I am worried that he will find out I have no real reason to be using the lights. Further down the road there is an entrance to a tunnel. It is blocked off by cops; there appears to have been an accident. I add my car to the road block and exit the car.

As I get out, I somehow become lucid. First step: find me some bitties. I am walking into the tunnel and there is an area next to the road where people are standing. The tunnel is shaped like (l-). The hyphen is an area with no road. So I go over and find a girl. I tell her that we should find someplace to go. I head back to my car because I think it will be more private. However, we get in, and there are people around. The back of the car has very large windows and people are just walking around outside it. I decide to take this moment to try using a lucid pill. I reach into my pocket and pull out a little capsule. I break it in half and eat the white, powdery contents.

We try a few more cars with no luck. There are people everywhere. Eventually we find a small yellow table on top of something. It is a child's toy table that is raised up on some platform. I decide to screw the privacy and go ahead right there. I am bigger than usual and once I am in, she giggles. Someone on DV said to focus on your breathing to help stay in the dream during sex. I take deep breaths and try to mimic my breathing while asleep (not sure why). I only get 2 thrusts in before the dream fades to black. I can still feel her back on my hands.

DEILD

I return to the tunnel and decide to leave. I remember that I wanted to try flying with a broomstick. At the entrance of the tunnel, resting against the wall, is a beat up looking broom. It has worn away red paint on the handle, and you can see the underlying white. I grab the broom and expect a force to thrust it forward. It does, and I'm off. I am not riding the broom, more having it pull me. I have my arms fully extended holding onto the broom, and my body is still stretched out. It was kind of like superman flying, but while holding a broom.

I have pretty good control. I can fly laterally without losing altitude as well as turn on command. My speed felt like 40 mph, not super speed but fast enough to go places. I try to go faster by imagining a stronger pull by the broom, no luck. I pull up and see how high I can go. I still stall out before reaching space. Eventually I turn and I am somehow over this vast ocean. I am flying low over the waves and they are HUGE. I want to try and fly through the waves so I do. I can feel them slow me down a bit, but I am still cruising through them. I never come out wet on the other side.

After a few waves I come upon some guys surfing. I wanted to try this out. I didn't have surfboard, but I had a broom. Good enough, right? A big swell hits and I try to stand on the broom. It takes me a second to balance myself, but I get it. The broom is backwards with the brushes pointing forwards. I surf for like 50 ft. until the wave dies. I get back down and wait for another. This one is even bigger. I get up again and ride it out. The other surfers can accelerate away from the wave somehow. I can't, the wave has to keep pushing me forward. We hit the shore, and I leave to do other things.

I somehow end up indoors and I want to try to fly to space. There is a little gap between the flights of stairs in this large, wooden staircase. I fly through the first few floors but then the gap is gone. I have go up flight by flight and eventually decide it isn't worth it.

I ditch the broom and somehow end up with a wand. I want to try some spells. I yelled the first spell that came to mind and pointed at the ceiling overhead. "PETRIFICUS TOTALIS." A large hole blasts open in the ceiling. I realize that the words I'm saying don't really matter. As long as I have the expectations and intent, it will do what I want. I remember stupify actually does that, though, so I give it a go. "STUPIFY." Another large blast blows away a section of the wall. I am pretty excited with these spells. I start walking away and I pass Jonah. I feel stupid yelling Harry Potter spells around him, so I keep quite. I don't think he heard me earlier. I keep walking and the dream fades.

I "wake up" in my bed and try to DEILD. I am worried that if I don't write down this dream, I may forget it. It was pretty cool. I am pretty sure I can still remember if I DEILD one more time, so I go for it. However, it is really an FA as I hear an old man's voice. He is telling me to write down my dreams and won't let me DEILD. RIght after he finishes his little speech, I really wake up.

Was fighting a boss with Leo. It would transform into several other objects such as a small furry thing with big eyes or something bigger. We would beat it with our staffs and fists and it would attack us back by biting or throwing itself at us. Some people walked by but didn't really help. We were at a mall like place. The last form was a plate. Every time I tried to throw the plate it would fling itself back at me. Leo was locked into another store and my staff broke. I finally took it and smashed It against glass over and over until we defeated it.

Was working with my dad selling houses. I did alot im this dream but forgot much of it. The guy who bought the house came while I was working in the backyard and I came to greet him. This was a repeat dream. I told him there was fucked up stuff happening in the house and weird smells. I showed him the attic and it was all super spooky. He was scared because he paid alot of money for the house. He suddenly lit a match and burned the house down for insurance money. The evil survived but eventually died. A new house was built.

Descending into a Smothered Consciousness

I was at a speakeasy in the middle of the 1920s. The bar was crammed tonight. There was a pianist in the background and I was smoking a cigar. I was a flapper in the right crowd.

I was engaging in a conversation with a man when I began to notice that people were leaving towards the back of the bar. Curiously, I followed them to see what the rush was.

I discovered that they were all trying to go up a staircase in the back of the bar. I pushed past them to see where and why they were so desperately trying to go.

The rustic staircase winded up to a lonely attic where I found a door.

I opened the door.

And I saw stairs going back down again. But, these stairs were different. I was now out of time and out of place. I was in our era, but in the fire escape of an abandoned, vandalized building.

The stairs were lit up, as if calling to me, and I could see the dim spray paint letters on the wall. I sat down on a step, slipped, and then SLID down the stairs.

I was sliding down them as if there were no steps at all, just a smooth angle. Lights rushed past me and I felt my consciousness sinking deeper and deeper.

After that strange experience of sliding down four flights of stairs warp speed I tried to stand up.

I felt strange.

I felt as if my awareness had suffocated, my body felt heavy and I just wanted to collapse where I was. It felt like I was being drowned out by anesthesia.

I looked around and wondered how I would get back to the bar. It was dark in here, there were no more lights to guide me along.

From observing, I saw that I had two options.

My first option would be to continue on in the fire escape. I saw that there was another flight of stairs that I could take down, but in the middle there was a large gap. I might be able to jump over that. But what pushed me away from this option was that there was a hooded man standing in front of the gap. He stood there as still as a sign post. I felt as if he was a trap. I was already about to collapse, and this would make the perfect opportunity for a predator to capitalize.

The second option was a gleaming EXIT sign to the right of me. Naturally, this may have been a first choice for anyone.

Except, when I opened the door under the EXIT sign, I saw a bloody dead body on a tile floor.

I wasn't sure I wanted to take any of the aforementioned routes. But, I had to take the lesser of two evils, so I took the second option and walked past the dead body.

The door lead into a small convenience store. I was still feeling horrible, and I needed help. I felt myself losing consciousness and called out.

A woman answered my calls. I was interrogated by her to provide details of what happened and she requested me to show her this strange staircase.

We went back through the door from where I came. However, there was no longer a staircase.

We found ourselves in this strange nether region. The region was hilly and large, and we could see that on both regions there were doors. We believed that perhaps one of those doors held the answers to what we were searching for.

We split up, and I took the western door and she took the eastern door.

We quickly discovered that near each door out of the nether, there were strange little beings ready to attack us. They are hard to describe. They looked like little inter-dimensional robot things. For the time being, we called them 'caviar'.

These robot beings varied in fighting skill. Many of them were easy to just knock off, but others seemed like they just wouldn't die.

For a second, I woke up.

Before I could reach for my DJ, I instantly felt myself sliding back down that winding staircase, descending deeper and deeper into the murky depths and again feeling that horrible feeling of smothered consciousness. I couldn't escape it.

I slid down to the bottom of the staircase. Instead of winding up in the strange room with the malicious man, I was now in a rustic room with odds and ends everywhere.

I realized that I was on the western side of the door where the woman and I had tried to open.

The antique objects spoke to me and told me that I would need something to defend myself out there, because the robot beings were ready for attack. They gave me a shield. It was black and red. Seeing that I was also barefoot, they equipped me with old boots and gave me a sword. I thanked them, and was awoken externally.

That Familiar Feeling

I was in the lobby of Jin's apartment, even though he didn't live here.

The floor of the lobby had a complex circular design. There was ice on it. Slushy ice, that was melting.

"I feel...like I have dreamed this two or three times before..." I whispered, feeling the ice beneath my fingertips.

"Let's go," Jin directed. We went up to his apartment where his brother was. His brother looked like a miniature DJ Ravine.

His apartment was on more than one story. The kitchen would be on a different floor than the bedrooms. It was really fascinating.

He showed me his bedroom. It was blue. In the middle was a bunkbed. Off to the side there was a bathroom that connected to his bedroom, and near that was a shelf.

"I have definitely dreamed this before..." I whispered. I couldn't shake that strong feeling of familiarity.