All DJ Entries

Monday, Dec.19, 2011

DR at 7am.
I'm talking to two girls, we are in US. One of them is going home, but wants to return here. So I start explaining to her in detail, how to get visa and how to proceed (the info I gave her is exactly right IWL).
- Someone has a store. I'm in it, but I have nothing to do with the store. In walks some kind of a law enforcement person. The other person in the store tells me to identify myself to the officer. I get really mad and I tell her, that we are not in some police state (and I name couple of countries), where people are afraid of police, like in the country I grew up in. I proceed to say, that if the officer want's me show some ID, she can ask me herself.

Tuesday, Dec.20, 2011
I'm somewhere with someone in building with windows on the left side (looks like building of a bank in NZ).
I did remember more, but didn't right it down in time.

I bought a new indigo Gamecube as a gift for someone, and put it in a plastic bag. When I gave it to her in my living room (I think it was that girl Lexi off twitter I've never spoken to again) she was obviously disappointed, and I was trying to tell her why it was a good gift. Later, my friend K was playing Majora's Mask. I've never played it, but I've watched a couple short videos of it, and it was nothing like it's really like. Everything was very beige and dirty and the main character was some guy, the style reminded me of Amnesia. I was watching her play through it and it terrified me, I had to cover my eyes a lot, it was really unnecessarily violent and scary. Then someone said I had to play through it again from the beginning. I really didn't want to play it, but I had to for some reason. In one of the first scenes, there was a witch or something on this kinda platform with stairs and possibly a cauldron. You had to talk to her, and she would tell you to do something, but you weren't able to do it, so she would blast you. In a textbox at the bottom it said, "Your knees have been destroyed!" and there were big bloody holes where the main character's knees had been, which really disturbed me. Then they were healed by someone else, and you had to make some kind of choice, but that's as far as I got.

This was an odd little dream I had last night. First let me tell you some of the "cast", if you will. All of the DCs in this dream are people I know in real life. Mr.C was my math teacher last year and Vic is my best friend.
We were all in Mr.C's room. I can't remember a lot of it, but I do know this one little excerpt of a conversation. Vic` was wearing headphones and he is the first one I remember speaking.

"Sometimes, I listen to two scary songs at once to find hidden things in them." he said

Mr.C replied "I've never done that, but," he continued while raising a worksheet, "I do like to find hidden things in puzzles."

And from there, all I draw is a blank.

for me to love and to give always ...to stop thinking aobut if im going7 t 7be 74taking care of and just realize that i can give and accept what comes back me instead of expecting something because of my own doings. I can reallyt just give and love as friends to enjoy the company of girls and make there day better rather then thinking how can they can make my day better. i love myself and am really neverous cause i feel likeif i mess it up or dont say the right thigns then im not going to be like or accepted. How bout ijust try and do what damien says and completley show my self when asked to and just lead by example and be myself my beautiful cute and funny safe not a fraid to show my confidence maculinity or gir0\\\\\\\\\\\\\feminenes like a pussy cat

Um...I blame this dream on reading Oneironaut's dream journal before bed...

There were some DV members in this dream, but I am just going to leave it vague.

It was the next semester at college, and I decided to be proactive this semester and join a club. The club was stationed in our dormitory, and it met nearly everyday in a dark office room.

Everything was fine at first. The club was just a meeting place for people with similar interests.

Over time, the club began to centralize its power until it developed, basically, into a cult.

The cult was headed by a man, who was often influenced by another woman in the club.

She reminded me of Bellatrix.

The cult took a dark turn for the worse when the woman announced that it had always been her fantasy to kill a person, and then dissect them.

Thus, the cult rapidly evolved into a murder-cult.

Everyday, the ring leader would order the members, who were lower in power, to find a victim. They would lure the victim into our dark, stone room, where the ringleader would then usually slit his or her throat.

After killing the victim, they would set his or her body on the table and cut apart the innards.

When they were finished, they ordered their members to dispose of the corpse in the abandoned highschool down the street.

A few of us realized that this is NOT the club that we had signed up for!

One of the girls decided to stand up against the members who were abusing their power. She told them off and said that she was not only leaving this group, but calling the cops.

The next day, when we came to the club/cult meeting, we found her corpse on the table. It had been made known to us that if anyone dare leave this cult or step out of line, this would be the result.

The situation kept getting darker and darker. The ringleader had suspicions that people were on to us. They would give us strange looks.

One gloomy evening, when the ring leader and several of his followers were in engaging in the mutilation of their most recent victim, I was finding myself barely able to take this anymore. I knew that there had been a silent resistance forming, but all of us seemed powerless against them.

I knew that any minute, I was about to stand up and scream at the top of my lungs. There was a fire growing inside me.

I was merely seconds from telling them off when a student walked in the door, which the ringleaders had forgotten to lock.

"Oh, wrong classroom," he muttered at first. But when his eyes caught sight of the mutilated corpse on the table he took a few steps back and ran out of the room.

"Make it look like nothing happened here!" The ringleader ordered, suddenly. But everyone was too paralyzed to do anything about the situation. The members who had little power, but were involved in the group enough to struggle for more power, were the only ones who had decided to actually follow the orders of the ringleader. They disposed of the body and cleaned up the crime scene before the cops arrived.

I decided, from that day on, that I was done with clubs. Never again.

I went back to my dorm, realizing that I would probably need therapy for the rest of my life to get over that. Rumors were already spreading all over the school about a cult that would kill and mutilate people.

My room mate caught wind that I had been involved in this cult and pushed me down the stairs while yelling about how wrong it is to kill twenty-two people. I wanted to tell her that I had nothing to do with the slaying of these people, but I knew that that statement was false. If I could have worked up the courage to alert the authorities even after the first slaying, twenty-one people could still be alive.

I was already hearing about the arrests of the ringleader and his closest followers, and I knew that they were coming for me too.

I looked out my dorm window, and wished that a blue-purple feather would fall down from the sky, and I wished that I could sprout beautiful blue-purple wings and just fly away...

I remember heading out side...I think I was on a Bicycle, and three preople approached me on the road. The youngest little girl stopped and asked me a question. I told "um...I'm not sure but how much". One of them sped off and told the to leave too. The little girl told me that she asked me if I'd be her friend. I told her it sounded like she wanted me to buy candy from her. Anyways, I headed back to my house. Animal Fest 2010 I get there, and there's a Cheshire cat there. This cat is rubbing all against me. It's pretty huge, and it's walking between my legs and brushing my balls. It's so WTF right now, and I'm about to head in the house, and I see all these puppies in the ditch. My friend R comes by on a truck asking me if I saw a certain dog. I told him he could have one of ours. D was there....he handed him a pup. There had to be about 20 or so puppies there, and two grown dogs and two cats. FA My house has a garage.....I'm dreaming FA I get in my car and I see this thick fog everywhere....almost like smoke....I say to myself "well it's obvious that I'm dreaming, but what do I do". FA I'm in some store with Tina Fey, and cameras were rolling. I think I was in an episode of 30 rock. We were just going back and forth ad-libing things just to see who would break character and laugh first. I got her a few times, and then she finally got me with one. It went into all kinds sexual innuendo, and I was fondling her breasts. And some kinda of way the sprinkler system went off. But the water was weird...like thick globs. That's when I knew I was dreaming again. It stopped, and I suggested we might as well continue what we started......and once again shit got WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIRD. I'll leave out the details, but the dream faded out and back in, and things were normal. She got on top of me...started riding, and wanted me to cum so bad. I was still a little freaked out by what I saw earlier, so it wasn't happening. Woke up shortly after.

12/21/11

Afternoon Nap

NON-LUCID

Dream 1:

I think I was inside a ship, like in Titanic. The ship was close to destruction, there was water gushing out in small holes on the ship. I couldn’t get good clarity of this, but for some reason, I needed to set something on fire to escape the ship.



There were people that were one floor above me, and everyone is rushing and panicking.

Then it hit me. As soon as I set the lit match, or whatever it was in my hand, There was this small line of fire manifesting itself from bottom to the top level of the bridge.

I saw people dying, I saw their pains turn into nothingness, I could see their innocence degrade as the flames continued to augment. Then I saw a familiar face.



Out of all the DCs, I paid attention to her the most. She was stuck, she was burning too. All I could do was watch. I loved this girl in waking life, and all I could do is watch her burn!

I turned around and had to escape, because I would join the rest of them quickly if I didn’t. While the water washed away people who had bonds, families, friends, etc., I was worried about how I reacted towards this girl.

It felt as if I had an obsession with her. I felt sad but mad at the same time. I felt so selfish, and realized that this girl is just someone I wanted to like, someone I was too quick to love in waking life.

When I boarded onto a safe area, which was a pretty weird installment inside of a bridge, it basically was some kind of missile that did an auto-launch so that if the operator wasn’t there, it could still save whoever was inside of it.

That’s all I remember in the first dream. I realized this same girl I was worried about being burned to death was still alive in the next dream.

Dream 2:

It’s as if I’m watching a film over the same girl I liked in waking life. Let’s call her “IH.”

“IH” was in a bikini outfit. She looked cute in it, no, she was beautiful. The environment was a small beach, kind of like the section from Super Mario Sunshine in Delfino Plaza, but it wasn’t a cartoon theme, it was like a real life replica of it in a way.



She was running inside the water, and she was fairly tall. After running around, she gets back on land and starts skating I think. There is a light blue sign that she turned to and jumped back to the water to start surfing.

I was wondering how she could surf when there were no waves, but I didn’t care. I saw her full body, and it was so natural. I focused more on her than on the actual environment after I saw she did the same thing over and over again.


I woke up, and I felt horrible. I almost cried. Maybe my subconscious is teaching me how to love someone again. Not sexual love, just loving someone for the internal beating of their heart.

My legs are still shaking from this.

Another busy morning. As a result, I had to wait all day to journal so my recall isn't so good.

Weird vitamins

I am at my grandparent's house. Someone has made up packets of vitamins for myself and some family members. I look into the packet that I am given at the vitamins. There are some pills and odd looking herbs, and a worm. The longer I look, the more worms appear in the packet. Apparently the worms have medicinal properties and are good for us. I don't like the idea of eating them, but I think I do anyway. It doesn't taste too bad really. More like gummy worms than anything.

Meeting the Emperor

I am on a field trip or vacation of some sort. There is a girl there who is kind of cute, but a little odd. For one thing, she is dressed like a leprechaun. I can't tell if I think that is cute or weird, but she seems to like me. We sit near each other and now and then she holds my hand when we walk. We go into a building, going upstairs.

Somehow, I become a soldier in the revolutionary war. It is still the same setting and the same building, but a couple of centuries earlier apparently. I have to meet the "Emperor" of England to discuss the terms of the American Colonies. I go into a huge room, which is dark and apparently contains a lake. The Emperor is sitting on a throne in the middle of a lake, and people who have been granted and audience are expected to crawl to him along a path over the water. I refuse to crawl, and walk out to the Emperor even before he calls me. I don't like the guy's arrogance, and I'm an American anyway.

I tell him that the Colonists want independance. He tells me that I will have to schedule an appointment to talk to him. He says that it isn't so much his idea, but people will get mad at us if I don't get an appointment. Not only that, but he is apparently so great that only really extraordinary people can talk to him on such short notice. He suggests that I talk to his receptionist, and pretend that I was dead but came back to life, or something like that. Apparently that is the scale of importance that I have to meet to talk to him.

I go back into the hallway and find what I think is the receptionist's office. I think instead of saying I was dead and came back to life I will tell her I was blind but now I can see. It turns out though that this isn't the receptionist's office. The lady gives me directions to the receptionist.

"Go out this door and to your right," she says. "Take the elevator with the red door..." I forget the rest of the directions. I go out into the hallway again, but have some difficulty trying to find the rest of the way.

12/21/11

Went to bed late and didn't really get a good nights/morning sleep. oops.

I'm eating hummus and pita bread outside at a restaurant with my family. The waitress is loud and over friendly. She is sitting at our table and eating our food. Back at home I smoke a joint with my brothers and watch Family Guy. That is pretty much it.

No school, no school, yay. I had two lucids, but both were pretty pathetic--one spiraled out of control and I woke up as soon as the other started. Don't have them or any other dreams with me now and I won't be able to get on until next week, I think. So.... yes.

I had a decent dream last night. It was kinda weird though, but I can remember it pretty well.

Riot in Math Class
It was nighttime and I was at my school going about my day like I normally would. I headed over to math with a some of my friends only to be met by the disappointed stares of our math teacher. When we took our seats, he told us everyone in the class had done poorly on the test and was issuing a retake. One person was outraged by this and began yelling at him. Then more people got up and started screaming their heads off. Out of nowhere, a Molotov cocktail went flying through the air and caught a part of the building on fire. At that point, I was scared for my life so I booked it out of there and woke up.

Conclusion
I remember a couple other fragments of a few dreams, but nothing substantial. Happy dreaming everyone! :L

My dream life was once pretty vivid and fun. Then I spent a year so busy that I hardly dreamed at all- or if I did, I wasn't aware of it in the morning. Things have slowed considerably the past month, so I've been noticing my dreams again. But gosh they are more boring and less vivid than they used to be. Or maybe I've just forgotten how to pay attention?

In which I have a conversation with my neighbor...

A large, well-dressed family arrives in the driveway of my neighbor's house. They are waiting to speak with him about some lucrative opportunity involving his home. They have not made an appointment. I see them through the window and call him up to let him know they are waiting. He asks me to stall them until he can get there. I go outside and make excuses. They are detached and properly polite. I can't tell if they are put out or not, but I get the sense that they don't want me to hang around and make small talk, so I tell them to make themselves at home and then I return to my own house.

Quite some time later, they are still waiting. I see one of the cars leave, and now only one couple and their driver are still waiting. I call my neighbor again and urge him to get home as soon as possible. He explains that he is trying to get there and asks me to stall them longer. I talk to the couple for a little longer, and then my neighbor arrives. He shows us around the house through secret hallways and hidden rooms that I had never seen before. The couple leaves.

My neighbor and I lean up against the fence in his yard and share a beer. It is night time and the stars are out. He tells me about some problems he is having and we have an intimate conversation. I feel really sad for him and think how much I like him and his family, and I really hope things work out for him. But I can think of no solutions for his problems. The whole dream just has a feeling of resignation and sadness. I remember feeling that life is so hard for so many good people.

Just a dream fragment: boss sent me a message saying that the reason my project failed was because of me

Note: went to bed very drunk, guessing that affects recall

Edit: Later remembered another dream fragment involved meeting Bill Hicks. I asked if he knew he was dead. Non-lucid, hoping more of this will be remembered later.

12/21/11

Dream 1:

NON-LUCID

I remember I started out in an elevator in this dream.



I had to go to a specific seating area for a college class, and it looked like it was going to be the Chemistry 101 Course I already took, but with a different teacher.

Me and a group of random DCs had to go to “Floor E” or something like that. Once we headed out, we’re in the class, and it is REALLY HUGE just for a college class. In fact, it looked like an indoor stadium.



There was a big screen for the professor to use for lectures and working out problems, and on the screen, we were learning how to do ionic bonds. The thing that bothered me is that it wasn’t related to that, it was actually us learning about electron spin and how to determine whether there would be a positive or negative spin.




It was basically learning Quantum Numbers, but just step 4 of it and balancing ionic equations (it should’ve been balancing equations to make a NET IONIC equation), but I wasn’t aware (typical) at the time.



Everyone started complaining, but not too loudly that the professor could hear. It was one of those grunts and moans where everyone would go “ugh!” and start to laugh at each other because they’re sharing the same problem too (I hope I that made sense).

The dude to the right of me looked really familiar, let’s call him Richard. He was looking at me weird, but not in a creepy way. You know how you see someone you haven’t met in a long time, yet they still remain quiet as if they never seen you before?

It was exactly like that, and I did the same stunt he did on me. I didn’t really care to socialize with him because I was focused on the randomness that our professor is trying to instill into our minds.

And there was this other DC who was a student who tried to show off what he knew to the professor by saying the answers before she did. He did it so much, that I thought the professor was going to RAGE QUIT. I mean it’s obvious that he’s working hard, but let the professor do her job god damn it!

You declaring your knowledge of the course isn’t going to make US cognizant of it. I hate those kinds of people, but it couldn’t be stopped, I just let it slide and listened to him increasing his confidence in answering questions the professor dished out to us.

I couldn’t remember much after that.

Dream 2:

This dream was pretty short. It seemed I was in a small town, and I see my father near a house. I go up to him and he asks me how I did on my Biology Final. I told him that I passed, and didn’t want to give him the exact grade.

But he already knew the grade and said I got a 11/15 correct (I honestly don’t know how I couldn’t pick that up, since the actual exam was 60 questions long). I tried to explain to him that on college finals, they would curve it BIG time.

But he didn’t look like he was worried about my grade. I couldn’t remember much after that.

Dream 3:

I’m on a different planet; I HAD to be on a different planet. Everything felt so weird, the DCs that were apparent looked like humans, but they looked at me as if I was some kind of alien.

I guess I had a different visage in the dream, but I never really look at myself in my dreams. A voice told me that these people hated humans, and I guess they were just tolerating me for now.

It really irritated me that I’m in a different realm where people are secretly making snide remarks about me, but I couldn’t let it dominate my reasoning. Maybe it’s my subconscious trying to portray my repressed demeanor of just hating people in general because we all have to commit hypocrisy in order to prove a point or just defend our way of thinking, and I really hated that mentality. It just can't be defined or escaped.

But I didn’t want to think too much in the dream, I was riding on something pretty fast, or maybe I was dashing in short distances in less time. I end up near some gathering where these people are looking at me, but I ignore them.

I go around asking random DCs on where I am at the moment. It was like me running around with no head attached. I could see some DCs looked at me with a repressed “I really hate your guts right now, but I’m going to be kind to you” façade.



The area was a combination of a beach and very small hills with a lot of grass layered. The ocean looked beautiful; the sky was dark and ominous, despite of my fuzzy clarity at the time. I turn around and see this black building that led to a place underground.




It was pretty obvious this place was going to be dangerous, but I go in and I’m in a Biology course I already took in college.

(The place I was going to was like this, but the lights were red instead of yellow)


This area was kind of like a theatre. There were a few students in here, and apparently it was some kind of review session, but it looked like a lecture since students were turning in assignments.



I wondered what they were turning in, and then I realized it was one of those extra-credit assignments that the professor doesn’t announce online, so you had to attend class every time or hope you were lucky to attend the lecture where they declared it.

As I’m sitting down, I was worried because the professor at first was being a bit aggressive with his words on students who don’t attend the lecture.

(In waking life, he wasn’t so serious about it, he just made jokes on how he would give us extra credit since we attended his lectures, but he said that doing so would be unethical, but he still had that behavior of joking with us).

This dream was different. He was being aggressive yet calm, I was starting to go bat shit crazy because in waking life, I skipped some of the lectures to study for other classes because all he really did in waking life was talk about his life stories as a scientist and how he would go on a huge ego trip when he found something no one else knew.

I started to worry more because this extra-credit assignment seemed to add a lot to our overall grade. But apparently I did it in this dream, because where I passed the paper to the person left of me, who looked like a guy I sat with for a while in my AP Human Geography class, said my full name.

At the time of this dream, I didn’t know that I turned in the assignment, so when he said my full name, I was even more freaked out. Then I remembered I’m on a different realm where people hated humans, but they didn’t look like they hated me.

I couldn’t take it anymore, I was still going bat shit paranoia mode for no apparent reason, and this was a perfectly stable environment, but I left the room.

The dream scenario changes and I find it very odd that I’m suddenly recalling all of this, because it was SCARY to me at the time.

When I left the Biology lecture room, I’m being chased by random DCs. I see a battle spaceship with a charging unit. I didn’t know about the charging unit until later when I had to go into more battle space ships.

The ships were a combination of the Wraiths and Ghost vehicles from the Halo series.

+




I got onto one, and automatically it set itself into space. I could see space from afar and something shining very brightly, as if that was the location I was going to next. My perspective was this time was being a spectator, and I literally was ZOOMED into space.



Now I’m in a different area, I leave the ship, and see a door in front of me. (This whole dream was sporadic and tense since I was running away from something I thought was after me).

I open the door slowly, and it’s another lecture class, but I didn’t know who the professor was. It was like being in another theatre type environment. Then I see a random DC who wore a Cadet uniform with dark green top and khaki or tan-ish brown pants.



I couldn’t remember what he was saying, but he looked suspicious to me, and suddenly it feels like I’m being shot. But I don’t know who is shooting me, so I decided to go back to the battleship station to escape to another area.

I think I did, but I’m back into a similar environment where I’m in another college class. More DCs that look suspicious started to pop up, and I even made a joke to them, “Mind if I escape using your battleship?” with a fake smile on my face.

By then, I knew that I could recharge my health in this station, so I was more relaxed than before, and I had some random DC who needed my help in escaping as well. I told him to get on the other battle space ship and guided him on how to go to another dimension.

But the guy was a complete imbecile. He couldn’t even guide the ship right, but I couldn’t blame him, since I was lucky mine did an automatic guidance mode to transportation.

So I decided to ditch him, and that’s all I remember.

NEVER THOUGHT I COULD FLY

So I was readying myself to get up early the next morning, by getting into bed a little earlier than normal. I had these sleeping pills, that make you drowsy because they have every single natural extract that makes you feel relaxed or sleepy, no synthetical sleeping bullshit or something

Last time I took them I had this plague and thought it was due to the pills, which is very odd since they're natural. Anyway I took 2, as inscripted. Went off to bed.

I had a really fuzzy dream! Didn't write it down, maybe that's why.
So I was dreaming I woke up, checked the time, and it was 11:29. Strange coming to think of it now, seems a good part of my brain was alive enough to be able to read digital clocks... So I got up and went past the room of my brother. I told him I overslept, and actualy I felt really bad about it because it wasn't the first time, and I had reported sick alot of times already.

So I thought to myself "god damnit this can't be true, how could I have let it happen". Instantly I performed a reality check because I didn't take this clumsyness for granted, oversleeping wasn't like me... I performed it, but it's weird however. Before doing it, I already noticed it for a part, that I was dreaming.

I don't know if that's just paying attention to it before performing the check, or just knowing already. Anyway I expected air to flow through my nose even after pinching it. And it did! I was suddenly very aware of the things. I was also very happy to be lucid after such a long time. So I'm standing at the end of the hallway now, in another room. First I tried to spawn stuff, but I couldn't pump any detail in it.

Then I chased one of my milestones yet to be set, flying! I got together all my courage and self esteem, since it's all you need to actualy fly. I tried to convince myself it would go even better by doing a certain move, just to speed it up. So I moved through the glass of the window, which I have no problem with ;P and there it went, I hovered, and by waving down my arms I grabbed more and more altitude!

I got to the highest point ever, could see the houses in the near neighbourhood from up there. It was already an amazing sight. But suddenly a thought crossed my mind, which blocked the flow of self esteem needed to do flight. It was the thought of, not having enough rendering capabilities for any higher altitude. Fear that I won't be able to see much more detail than it already gave me.

So I landed in the nearest street. This time I really sat back to look and notice the detail. Just stand there and percept how much detail a dream can provide! And that's all I can remember.

I have not set my milestone for: STEADY FLIGHT yet. There are also other milestones that need attention, such as finding my dream guide! Or finding my inner self, but these are for much later!

So, could any of you give me an idea of how much detail our brains can render in a dream? It could pump up my self esteem again. THANKS FOR READING